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Sirius finished off his last call for the day at 4.58 pm on the dot and signed off of the phone queue as soon as he hit end call.

The rest of the call center employees gathered their things and made their way to the exit, and Sirius leaned back and took a deep breath to recalibrate after the call. It hadn’t been a bad one exactly, rather he was just tapped out of fucks to give to customers who couldn’t seem to understand that he was literally on the bottom of the food chain when it came to information.

This customer in particular had insisted Sirius take her through the information already available to her through the website, and when he was unable to elaborate further – citing that the information she needed would be better given by someone who was actually qualified to help at the next tier up in their service center - she got shitty that all of the information wasn’t immediately available to her now. He’d explained multiple times (at least four if the sympathetic tally given by his boss Minnie who sat just to his right was to be believed) that the information is not available because further advice would be tailored to the customer based on their individual wants and needs and that the advisers who provide this service require appointments to go through an hours-worth of information and clarify any confusing points. He explained all of that, and still, she had been unwilling to let him book her an appointment and insisted he take her through what he did know.

So, 20 minutes later when he put the phone down, he was more than happy to sign off for the day and get home where he had leftover lemon chicken waiting to be put added to spaghetti carbonara as well as half a bottle of Moscato to finish. He packed his satchel and dug out his headphones for the walk down the hill to the bus stop to wait for his transport home when Mary passed his desk with an expectant look.

“So, we’ll see you tomorrow at 7 at the Three Broomsticks for drinks before our booking at Hogs-Head for bowling, yeah? For Gideon’s leaving do?”

“Sure, Mary,” Sirius replied tiredly but with an effort of a smile, “Who else is going again?”

“Me, Lily, Marlene, James, Remus, Dorcus, and You!” She beamed at him, “A small group but should still be fun!”

“I’m sure it will be,” Sirius responded placidly, “Are you and Remus arriving together then?”

He avoided meeting her eye when he asked. Mary and Remus had a thing going on.

It had taken Sirius by surprise if he was being honest.

Sirius had only started at Phoenix Insurance just over a month ago, and a few shifts in, he’d realized that the tall, pretty man from the financial advice division’s break seemed to coincide with Sirius’s everyday without fail. While most of the finance team took their breaks out of the building, preferring to get sushi down the street or sit outside in the sun, Remus always chose to descend into the ‘Basement’, where the call center operated, to sit in their break-out space where there were a few sofas and a tall table with a few stools set up next to some windows that looked out into the surface world.

Remus always made use of the basement kitchen facilities and then brought it to the breakout space where Sirius would inevitably be eating his leftovers from the night before and they’d chat about mundane things; their weekend plans – Remus liked to watch Cricket and played golf (badly according to him), while Sirius liked to cook and hike - or comparing notes on Game of Thrones which they were both working their way through belatedly.

Sirius liked Remus – had a bit of an office crush on him really. As already mentioned, he was very nice to look at with a lovely sharp jawline and freckles peppered over his pale skin. His hair was auburn and curly, cut short on the sides, but long at the top so that it flopped onto his forehead whenever he leaned forward. And his eyes were a dark brown that made him look ever so kind, but opaque enough to maintain an air of mystery. You got the impression that you could talk to him forever and he’d never tell you to stop because he was actually listening.

Their breaks overlapped by half an hour, with Sirius’s break starting before, and so Sirius always left Remus sitting there in the breakout space quietly, scrolling idly on his phone until his hour was up and then he’d saunter back upstairs. That half-hour overlap was easily the best part of Sirius’s day, and he got the impression from Remus that he looked forward to it too. He made a point of remembering things Sirius had told him about the hikes he went on and even asked to follow Sirius on Instagram to see the photos he took when he was out.

Sirius had been on the verge of asking him to come on one of the shorter hikes he had planned until the day that Mary had popped over to Sirius’s desk during an uncharacteristically quiet moment on the phones because she ‘wanted to tell him a secret.’

And Sirius was only human and lived for gossip, so he’d scooched over in his wheely chair enthusiastically and listened as she told him that she and Remus had a date that weekend.

Now Sirius was an adult, he knew that people could be friendly without wanting to get into bed automatically, but the news that Remus was seeing Mary had surprised him somewhat. Remus had never asked him out or done anything else to signal that he was interested in Sirius, but their banter was so good, and sometimes when Remus would walk down for his 15-minute breaks to use the kitchens to make a cup of coffee, Sirius would look up to watch him pass by only to find him already looking his way.

It had felt like they had chemistry and he’d had to dampen down the disappointment at the news that Remus was seeing someone else in the office. To add insult to injury, Mary later told him that it wasn’t even a serious thing for them. She’d talked about it like a ‘situation’ – like they were just hanging out for the fun of it – neither of them interested in more than anything physical and a bit of quality time. Which had the duo effect of making Sirius marginally jealous that Mary was presumably sleeping with Remus, and that she had a friendship with him out of work. This gave Sirius a persistent and irritating little flicker of hope that when Remus grew tired of something casual, he may be open to something with Sirius. Sirius didn’t trust hope - he had learned a long time that hope was more dangerous than outright dejection.

So every day Sirius watched as Remus met Mary outside their building so that they could walk to the bus stop together. Remus would turn and smile at Sirius with a little wave before matching his pace to Mary’s and hurrying down the hill alongside her as she chatted enthusiastically. Every Monday he was treated to the news of what they’d done over the weekend, and still on their shared breaks, Remus would banter and smile softly at Sirius across the breakout space, making Sirius feel important for as long as his eyes were fixed on him. Sirius had a hopeless office crush and it was making him go slightly mad.

“Nah,” Mary said, shrugging on her jacket and making her way to the exit, “meeting him there. Have a good night!"

“You too!” Sirius called back, watching her open the door and clocking the long-limbed man waiting there for her to walk her down to the bus stop with a smile and a wave as he turned to follow her.

It was honestly a little embarrassing to feel like he’d misread the signals during their initial interactions. He had thought his gay-dar was better than that – better at picking up the vibes coming at him, that is, not necessarily at picking up the orientation of the people around him. It was perfectly possible that Remus was bi or pan, but the point was that Sirius could have sworn that there were vibes between them.

He shook his head abruptly, resolved to make the best of the situation and not focus on whether Mary and Remus would be arriving or leaving together the next night. He stood from his desk and hurried to the exit to meet his bus.

***

Sirius stepped off the bus in town the next night, and checked his texts to see if Mary and Marlene had arrived in town yet. He had no response from either of them, but he did have an Instagram message from James Potter.

He replied to the message asking how far off he was from the pub they were meeting at and immediately received an Instagram call from him.

“James?” Sirius answered.

“Sirius!” James said jovially, clearly already a few drinks in.

James was part of the finance team as well, and if Remus hung out during his breaks, then James was his bus companion. They lived very close to each other and were on the same bus route before and after work. They’d both moved into town very recently and bonded over navigating the daunting bus system as a unit.

“Are you at the pub yet?” Sirius asked, feeling himself relax into the unfiltered friendliness that James embodied.

“Nah, not yet,” he answered, “Lily wanted to get a vape so were a few blocks over. Do you wanna meet halfway and then we can arrive together?”

Sirius breathed in relief. James always seemed to have a knack for puzzling out when people were uncomfortable and relieving that discomfort in the simplest ways.

“Yeah, that would be great, actually,” Sirius breathed an awkward laugh, “What street are you guys on?”

James rattled off the address and Sirius input it into his navigator and headed that way. Not long after the call, Sirius clocked the shockingly vivid red hair of James’s wife, Lily. Looming over her, was the untidy head and Bespectacled face of James himself.

Lily and James had met at a Phoenix branch a few towns over when she was starting out in their marketing department. Apparently, it hadn’t taken too long for James to figure out that she was it for him. And even though she had rebuffed his advances – mostly because she didn’t want to cause gossip- she had eventually relented to his flirting and her feelings and gone out with him. A year later and they had been married.

At that addition to the story Sirius had raised his brows in surprise and James had only laughed good-naturedly.

“I knew from the moment I saw her, mate,” he confided, “I could see our whole life together. I didn’t see the need to wait for some societal tick of approval – and besides, her mum was sick so she wanted to see Lily married before she passed,” he finished with a sad shrug.

“But three years on and we’re going strong,” he said nudging a bemused Sirius sitting next to him on the bus.

“And did her mum get to see her married?” Sirius asked quietly.

“Yeah,” James said wistfully, “not too long after she was put into hospice care, but she saw Lil wearing the white dress and everything.”

The story summed up the two of them pretty well. James, for all his joviality and humor had the biggest heart that Sirius had ever encountered. And Lily was a hard nut to crack, but once she opened up to her you had a friend for life; the kind of friend who’d as soon as tell you when to wind your neck in as tell you she loved you. They were both 100% all the time and that was reflected in their love for each other.

When Sirius caught up to the duo, they both flung their arms around his shoulders in a group hug that nearly flattened him. He laughed and hugged them back.

“How’s it going?” James boomed on the busy street, causing a few people to turn and look.

“Not too bad – what about you guys?” he returned feeling a bit shy.

They beamed at him as they fell into step and changed directions to go back the way that Sirius came towards the pub.

“Good!” Lily took up the conversation, “We just did some more unpacking and then sat and ordered more stuff for the house!”

“Did you know that duvet covers were so expensive?” James asked Sirius incredulously, “I do not remember them costing that much,” he was shaking his head in disbelief.

“Yes well, you hadn’t replaced your duvet set since uni and before that, your mum picked them out so naturally-”

“Hey, I’ll have you know that my mum had excellent taste,” he said haughtily, making Sirius snort in amusement, “My childhood duvet cover had Spiderman printed on it.”

“Oh, I bet the girls you brought back would have loved that,” Sirius drawled, prompting both Potters to bark with laughter.

“Well now that you mention it, I did end up going to their houses most of the time,” James said consideringly. Lily whacked him in the arm.

“I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” James changed tack quickly, “I was a virgin until I met my darling Lily,” he joked batting his eyes down at her.

“Your technique said otherwise,” she smirked back at him and Sirius pretended to gag.

“What about your day?” Lily said, changing tack but not before winking at her blushing husband.

“Oh, I, uh – I didn’t get up to much,” Sirius said non-committedly, not really wanting to divulge that he’d spent the whole day binge-watching the new season of Masterchef Australia wrapped in a blanket on his couch and eating pasta until it was time to shower and get ready for the evening. He’d woken up feeling lonely and flat – acutely aware that he was on the house alone and not in the mood to do anything he’d known would make him feel better. He’d go on his hike on Sunday and he’d be feeling right as rain he decided.

They arrived at the pub, “It’s upstairs,” James clarified before leading them up the stairs into a large room filled with at least 30 separate pool tables.

“I’m guessing they have an activity of preference?” Sirius asked in a low, wry voice to Lily at his side and she burst into giggles.

“I’ll grab us some drinks,” James said making his way to the bar, “beer, Sirius?”

“Yes, please,” he called after him.

Sirius and Lily found a pool table after they had established that they were the first of the group to arrive and he dug a few coins from his pocket to pay for a game of pool.

Mary turned up next and she sat and chatted with James while Sirius and Lily completed their game. Lily was surprisingly good at pool, - “she had a pool table growing up mate, don’t take it personally,”- and was winning hands down until she accidentally sunk 2 of the solid balls in a turn (Sirius was solids this round) and so Sirius pulled neck and neck with her. Eventually, they were both vying for the black ball and it was Sirius’s turn. He lined up the shot and checked behind to him to avoid knocking over a waiter or a spectator, then he checked his shot and sent the white ball careening towards the black ball. Miraculously, the ball hit exactly as he had planned, and the black ball spun and ricocheted off the side of the table and into the opposite hole, winning him the game. He straightened up in surprised victory, raising his cue above his head like a sword following a victorious battle.

“Nicely done,” a deep voice to his left said quietly in amusement, and Sirius whipped his head toward the voice to see Remus watching from the bar stool close by.

He blushed and straightened from his position crouching over the pool table and sauntered over, trying to act nonchalant.

It was proving difficult.

Remus looked lovely wearing a pair of dark denim jeans and a chocolate brown jumper that looked like it might be cashmere. He was wearing dark brown lace-up dress boots and had draped his dark tan coat over the stool next to him. He sat on the stool like he’d been photographed for GQ in a kind of dark academia autumn spread and Sirius felt dizzy.

He was quite glad he’d made the effort tonight in the face of such effortless style. He’d opted for a washed grey denim button down over a black long-sleeve t-shirt, the jeans that made his bottom pop, and his doc martins, topped with his leather jacket. He’d taken care with his hair as well, taking the time to wash, diffuse and scrunch it with product so that his curls framed his face just so.

He arrived at the seat on the other side of Remus, sitting on the stool and catching a whiff of his aftershave.

“Thanks – it was a near thing,” he said, accepting the second beer that Remus handed him, “she’s probably the best I’ve ever played against,” he finished with a smirk that Remus returned, and he sat down at the bar stool next to him.

“Realistically, how many others have you played against?” Remus asked with a teasing glint to his gaze trained on Sirius.

Sirius laughed, caught; “Not very many,” he admitted, “This win was more of a fluke if I’m being honest.”

“Well, it is the best policy and all that,” Remus said in a low voice, turning to face the bar with a smirk.

Remus was tall, and even seated, his torso was so long that he was at least a few inches taller than Sirius on their stools. They watched as James took Lily’s cue and dusted the end, and handed it to Mary who was going next.

“I texted Gideon,” Remus said clearing his throat, “He hasn’t even left home yet,” he finished with a chuckle.

“Figures,” Sirius laughed quietly in return, trying to get the butterflies fluttering around his chest to settle.

“What did you get up to before this today?” Remus asked just as quietly, looking at him softly and making Sirius feel like he was in a little bubble of privacy just for them.

“Well, it involved a fleece blanket, some left-over carbonara, and Australian cooking shows,” Sirius said cryptically, narrowing his eyes at Remus in challenge, “And you?”

“Ah – I’m a big fan of Masterchef Australia too as it happens,” Remus replied with a smirk, “I just did a bit of reading today,” he said with a shrug.

“What are you reading at the moment?” Sirius asked with interest.

“I’m re-reading the Inheritance Cycle,” Remus said with a shy smile, “have you read it?”

“I think I read Eragon when I was a teenager, but I don’t think I got further than that,” Sirius admitted.

“Well, it gets much better after Eragon,” Remus went on, voice rising with enthusiasm as he dove right into a detailed summary of the series.

Sirius couldn’t help but smile as he listened to Remus go on to talk about the ways the following books of the series, Eldest, Brisingr, and Inheritance deepened the story line and leaned into the political complexities of the world in the books.

“It’s not really something I’ve seen done well in fantasy,” he said about the political themes, “Lots of writers like to shove meaning and allegory into their fantasy without finesse or any real subtlety, but these books are like a reverse funnel – the more immersed in the world of Alagaësia Eragon gets, the more immersed you get – it’s very clever writing.”

He glanced at Sirius and he was both intrigued and enchanted to watch the blood filling his cheeks as rolled his lower lip into his mouth shyly, “I know they’re technically YA books-”

“No!” Sirius interrupted, “YA books are desperately underrated – I reread the Hunger Games every year, and I always read the Chronicles of Narnia at Christmas,” he insisted, “Sometimes the things that got us through adolescence have a bit to teach us as adults too,” he said with a raised brow and a smile. Remus’s smile grew in response and he took a swig of beer, smiling shyly around the bottle.

Sirius imitated him, enjoying the fuzzy, sparkling atmosphere between them while they were sat at the bar.

“Could I borrow your copies when you’re done re-reading them?” he asked genuinely.

“Yeah, of course,” Remus said, turning to him with a pleased little smile that Sirius felt in his bones.

The bubble popped when Mary hurried over to the bar where they were sitting and leaned next to Remus to order a drink. They greeted each other and Sirius watched closely, but they had never flaunted their thing and it didn’t look like they were going to start now. Mary hugged him briefly, and then collected her drink.

“We’re almost set to head to Hogs,” she said before she went to join Marlene and Dorcus who seemed to have arrived when Sirius wasn’t paying attention, “Gid’s going to meet us there,” she finished with rolled eyes.

“Ready to go?” Remus asked still close beside him and low enough that it was only to him, turning to Sirius with a cocked head towards the exit. He nearly choked on his last sip of beer, so suggestive was the idea that popped into his head of Remus asking him that question in an entirely different context.

“Yeah, I just need to get my things from James,” he spluttered, indicating towards where James was shrugging on his jacket on the other side of the pool table.

Remus nodded and stood from his stool.

“Thanks for the drink by the way,” Sirius said before he followed the action and stood as well, “I’ll get yours later,” he said in what he hoped was coming across friendly rather than propositional.

“I’d like that, Sirius,” Remus said softly, meeting his eyes directly before Sirius turned to the table to navigate around it and locate his jacket, wondering if the thumping of his heart was this loud to anyone other than himself.

***

Sirius was lousy at bowling.

There had been a time in his early twenties when he’d gone with friends from work and absolutely nailed it, but that that appeared to be some kind of a fluke – or otherwise he’d just used up his bowling karma – because he was trailing his team at the bottom. By a lot.

He’d have been embarrassed if anyone remotely cared. As it was, every time he returned to the seats after his dismal attempt, it was to Lily’s affectionate pats on the head and James’s commiserations – promising that he was just getting the hang of it as he leaned heavily on Sirius’s shoulder, well and truly trolleyed.

Remus, on the other hand, was brilliant.

When his turn came around, he’d saunter to the bowling balls casually, pick up the heaviest one (because of course he did), and send the ball careening to the pins with such lithe grace that Sirius was finding it harder and harder not to stare openly. And what was more, he took his high score and strikes with such humility, if with a little charming bow every so often, and smiled kindly at Sirius when he got up to play his turn.

After his third dismal attempt, Sirius returned to his seat – a seat next to Remus!? – and turned to him with a wry smile.

“I clearly have other talents,” he said and belatedly realized that his few drinks were probably speaking for him otherwise he’d probably never have been so bold.

Remus just raised his brows and smiled in amusement. In the heat of the bowling alley, he’d rolled up the sleeves of his jumper. He sat holding his drink between his hands and Sirius alternated between looking at the way the tendons in his arms shifted and tensed with his every move and watching the way the bright strobe lights lit his profile. This was between his attempts to prevent Remus from catching him staring that is.

“Would you like some advice?” Remus asked him, leaning in to speak over the loud music and their laughing friends.

“I’m all ears,” Sirius responded, shifting closer and thinking he’d take any opportunity to have Remus’s undivided attention. He raised his bottle for a sip.

“Well, firstly, when you swing your arm back, it doesn’t swing straight.”

Sirius snorted beer up his nose and spluttered mortifyingly as he laughed. He covered his nose and mouth with his free hand while he put down his beer and blindly fumbled for a napkin as he coughed, wishing the floor would swallow him whole.

“Okay?” he heard as a warm hand placed a paper napkin into his palm and he used it to clean himself up.

“Y-yeah,” Sirius coughed, he looked around frantically to see if anyone else had seen his humiliating response to the probably innocent double entendre. Everyone else was occupied either watching Gideon take his turn, or were alternatively too drunk to notice. That was good – so only the object of all Sirius’s recent fantasies had seen him spew beer from his nose and all over himself. Good. This was fine.

“Sorry, you were saying,” Sirius said, shaking his head hopelessly, looking bravely into Remus’s crinkled eyes as he watched Sirius pull himself together.

“What was that about?” Remus asked in clear amusement.

Sirius sighed in resignation and smirked sheepishly.

“It’s just that not swinging straight has been a persistent theme in my journey so far.”

The smile dropped from Remus’s face as his face took on a look of blank shock.

Sirius felt the dread creep up his throat at the change in his expression. He wasn’t out to anyone at work. It wasn’t like he hid it exactly, but he’d just moved away from a situation where his sexuality had been a bone of contention for quite some time and he didn’t make a habit of broadcasting it before he knew it was safe. Unless he’d had a few drinks, of course, which is why he generally avoided doing just that. Tonight, though he had been feeling comfortable. Until now.

He’d spoken before he’d even considered whether Remus would have a problem with it, and now he could actually see the cogs turning in Remus’s head. Just then, James tapped him on the shoulder and alerted him that it was his turn again. He swallowed and tried to avoid looking back to see if Remus was now frantically telling anyone who would listen the secret he’d learned about the new guy. He made his play without even really noticing how he did and then turned, feeling inexplicably (and with characteristic drama) that what he saw next would dictate the rest of his life.

When Sirius’s eyes rested on Remus, he was looking between him and the screen above him with a proud little smirk as he clapped a few times. Sirius spun and looked up. Inexplicably he’d managed a strike. He turned back to face Remus feeling his face split into a delighted grin as Lily and James both clapped lethargically from their seats, slurring that they knew he had it in him.

He stumbled back to his seat, towards where Remus was tracking his movements like nothing could drag his eyes away, that soft smile not going anywhere this time.

***

It was Monday, and they were running a promotion where if you joined Phoenix this week, you’d get a voucher to have your vehicle serviced – but only for the first 500 customers.

Safe to say the phone lines were pumping and they had run out of vouchers an hour into the day and not everyone was entirely understanding about it. They’d had a steady stream of complaint calls since about 10am. It was around 11.30 now and Sirius was late for his 15 and dying for a coffee and a moment in the fresh air, but he still had an hour until his lunch break and a cue of 10 people waiting on his phone line to chew him out because they’d already booked their car service an needed those vouchers.

“Hey,” Sirius began leaning back in his wheelie chair, having just put his most recent complaint on hold, “if this customer wants to speak to the person who’s in charge of the promotion, then the marketing division would be the best option, right, Minnie?” Sirius threw out behind him to his boss and turning to look towards her expectantly for his answer.

She turned briefly in her seat to look at him, not quite acknowledging him and then immediately spun back to face her computer, finishing a sentence in the document she was typing. Then, instead of turning back to face him to answer him now that her task was complete in order to answer his question as he expected, he watched as she opened a new email and proceeded to draft a reply – as if he hadn’t spoken at all. He blinked a few times in surprise.

Befuddled, he turned back to his screens, double checked his staff list for the what he suspected was the correct number to transfer to and took the customer off hold to let them know where they were going. He transferred the customer and couldn’t help but wonder if they had registered his bemused tone when signed off. Minnie, for her part, seemed to have completely ignored or entirely forgotten he’d asked a question in the first place. He shook his head and decided to let it go.

His phone vibrated as he took another call. As he rattled off the greeting to the customer on the line, he opened the text notification.

-

You just got left on read IRL
-Remus

-

Sirius nearly choked mid-sentence. He excused himself to the customer and placed them on hold while he coughed and spluttered to cover his laughing fit. He pushed away from his desk and rolled back so that he could see the breakout space. Sure enough, Remus was sitting on one of the padded benches, his phone in one hand and a cup of coffee balanced on his knee in the other. His lips were rolled into his mouth like he was desperately trying to keep from laughing out loud.

He looked up and met Sirius’s eye and Sirius actually barked with laughter, startling the whole team. He apologized to Marlene at the desk next to him, feeling a new wave of mirth overcoming him at her alarmed expression and blind transferred the call to her, citing the need to cough, and fled to the kitchen so that he could wheeze and snort with laughter in peace.

He wasn’t alone for long. He was hunched over by the sink, heaving with giggles when he heard the steps follow him into the room.
“I’m fighting for my life here,” he croaked as he laugh-coughed again, “You can’t text me shit like that when I’m on a call – I’ll never recover!”

He looked up to find Remus looking at him fondly, his own eyes dancing with merriment.

“Do we think her brain reset and she forgot you spoke? Or do we think she didn’t hear exactly what you said and so she pretended she hadn’t heard at all?” he asked in a musing sort of way.

Sirius folded in half again, gripping his thighs and shaking with the kind of silent laughter that could bring a man to his knees.

He gasped as he straightened up and wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes. He met Remus’s relaxed, amused gaze and a sense of profound contentment settled over him as they maintained the eye contact. He straightened up and leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms casually and watched Remus mirror him against the counter opposite him.

“I shouldn’t hold it against her,” he said with a little shrug, “Her partner is going in for an internal defibrillator today – she’s distracted.”

“I know,” Remus said, and he suddenly blushed like he’d thought of something embarrassing.

“What?” Sirius asked with narrowed eyes and a smirk.

“I er – I know Minnie’s partner personally, actually,”

“Oh,” Sirius said nodding in understanding, “But that doesn’t explain the pink spots there,” Sirius leaned forward and tapped Remus’s left cheek, “And there,” he punctuated tapping Remus’s right cheek.

Remus’s blush deepened and Sirius found himself intrigued again. Was he flustering Lupin a little? He cocked his head.

“Well, I may have almost had security called on me last night trying to find some of her favorite flowers,” he said quietly, like he hoped Sirius didn’t quite hear.

Taken off guard, Sirius felt his mouth fall open as he stared and Remus sniggered.

“You’re really going to need to elaborate on that,” Sirius eventually choked out with a gape-grin.

“Well, Poppy – Minnie’s partner – was a nurse at a hospital I was admitted to a few years back,” He started, “And she took a liking to me – she came in on her days off to come sit with me in the garden outside and visit with me,” he continued with a soft little smile.

“She loved to sit under this magnolia tree, and so I wanted to get her some to wish her well with the operation,” he shrugged a little.

“And the security?” Sirius asked curiously, storing away in his mind that Remus was the kind of person who knew his nurses’ favorite flowers and kept in touch years after they were no longer connected through treatment. He also stored away the little snippet of Remus’s life that told him that he’d been sick enough at one point in his life to need long term treatment at a hospital.

Remus blushed again, “Well I snuck into the hospital grounds to get the flowers,” he started sheepishly, “In my defense, I didn’t know of any other magnolia bushes,” he said with a bewildered shrug.

“And I guess it tripped some kind of security alert because all of a sudden the armed response team were pulling up at the hospital parking lot and next thing that I knew I was scaling the grounds fencing with a fist full of flowers and my heart beating out of my chest…” he trailed off – mostly because Sirius was giggling again – the image of Remus climbing the fence of the hospital, being chased for a hand full of magnolias just too much to handle.

Just as he was catching his breath, he caught sight of the clock behind Remus. Shit. He’d been bantering with Remus for almost 10 minutes. Remus noticed too, turning to see what Sirius was looking at and the turning back with a resigned smile.

“I’ll let you get back,” he said with in a soft tone. Sirius nodded, already feeling the loss of the moment creeping in on him. They made to exit the kitchen at the same time and almost collided in the doorway. Remus reached out to steady him, his hand landing on Sirius’s upper arm. He blushed again and stepped to the side, allowing Sirius to pass ahead of him.

***

It was a week and a half later and it was pouring.

And Sirius was still at work, at the top of a hill, at least a 15-minute walk from his bus stop.

He’d been trying to wait out the rain before he headed out to catch his bus home, but it looked like he might just have to bite the bullet and brave getting soaked if he wanted to get home before midnight.

He sighed. He knew that his foul mood wasn’t entirely to do with the rain. He had a jacket, he could keep his phone dry, and when he got home, he could order something hot and satisfying to eat and have a long shower and he’d be good as new. No. He knew that he was in a mood because he hadn’t spoken to Remus in almost a week.

He’d been moved to reception duty, which meant that his break schedule had changed. Mary normally took the desk duty, but she had a family bereavement and had taken the week off. He tried not to be too bitter when he thought about how her leave had impacted him – not everyone hated their family, after-all - she was probably in a tough spot.
He resolved to flick her a text once he got home to check that she was alright.

But still, the result of this series of events was that Sirius and Remus hadn’t had a break coincide in a week. They also hadn’t texted or conveniently run into each other in the kitchen downstairs.

He tried not to read into that side if things but it was difficult. Remus had his number – he still wasn’t sure how, but he wasn’t about to question it - he clearly knew how to use it, and he’d obviously chosen not to use it. It was as simple as that.

It wasn’t though. Because Sirius’s crush was becoming a little embarrassingly bigger than a crush.

He was having dreams. Sexy dreams. Sexy dreams involving Remus. Sexy dreams involving Remus that involved a shocking lack of clothing.

He was having little awake fantasies too. He’d see couples eating breakfast at cafés on the weekend and imagine that it was them. He would go for runs in the evening and see in through the lit windows of his neighbors’ houses – in a curious way, not a creepy way – and see the inhabitants interacting and doing life and imagine what it would be like to get home to Remus every day.

He imagined what it would be like to come home to more than an empty flat, and whine about his day to more than just reruns of Greys Anatomy. Sirius wondered if Remus would be one of those partners who let their spouse rant or if he preferred to give advice. He wondered how he’d comfort Sirius if he told him about a really awful call or what he’d do when he woke thrashing in the middle of the night with nightmares.

He liked to think that Remus would be kind. Maybe rub his back a little and tell him it would be okay.

Sirius found himself picturing how they would look tucked up in bed together. What they would talk about until the wee hours of the morning.

Between the dreaming, imagining, picturing and thinking, Sirius was driving himself silly. And still he didn’t hear a peep from the flesh and blood man and he wondered if he had already gone mad for thinking he’d reach out in the first place.

He wondered if he had imagined the soft looks and the flirty comments. He’d never mentioned Sirius’s flippant comment about not being straight at the bowling ring. Maybe he wasn’t interested. Or worse – maybe he was homophobic. If he was, he certainly hadn’t told anyone at the office that Sirius was gay. Or else whoever he did tell had a better sense of discretion, because he hadn’t heard a thing about it since he made the comment.

With one more thwarted hopeful glance out the rain-streaked windows, Sirius sighed and packed his belongings. He momentarily considered wrapping some of his things in his scarf before he gave up trying to minimize the damage and just resigned himself to getting soaked beyond all hope of return.

He exited the building and began to power walk. By the time he was 100m away from the door to the office he was convinced this was a mistake. It was really coming down. 300m away and he was thinking that really it wouldn’t have been too weird for his boss to find him curled up under his desk if he slept at the office that night. A hard office floor was better that the rivulets of water that Sirius could feel making their way down his back starting at his collar.

By the time he rounded the corner out of the parking lot and started making his way down the hill he was properly miserable. The hood of his jacket was really more of a joke at this point and only served to drip rainwater onto his nose at inconvenient moments and was only even remotely useful when the roaring wind wasn’t blowing it off in the first place and sending a gust of cold water into his face.

He shoved his fists into his (soaked) pockets, shoved his nose into his (soaked) scarf and marched.

BEEP

Someone really needed to cool their roll, he shook his head into the soggy wool of his scarf, hoping whoever was honking their horn would fuck right off.

BEEP

Oh, what the fuck, man. Couldn’t people just chill the fuck out? People were bound to be driving slower in this weather, and he’d bet everything that the person honking was just some impatient fucker in an SUV with lights set too high so that anyone driving towards them was temporarily blinded.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Sirius stopped and turned to see what was going on, feeling indignant and like whoever it was causing the racket would get a piece of his mind if they were close enough to see him flick the bird at him.

A silver Corolla was crawling next to him. It beeped at him again and he blinked through the rain and squinted through the frantic pace of the windscreen wipers to see man with copper curls and kind eyes beckoning him to the car.

All the irritation and vitriol evaporated and Sirius had the uncanny experience of feeling like a damsel being rescued from their distress and being incredibly grateful for it as Remus pulled his car into the emergency lane and stopped by Sirius. He practically sprang to the passenger door and hesitated for a second, wandering where he was going to put his sodden… well everything, in what he pictured to be an immaculately kept car. The window rolled down and Remus yelled out.

“Get in before you get washed away for fucks sake!”

“But I’m soaked!”

“I can see that, get in!”

Abandoning any pretense at dignity, Sirius opened the passenger door and swung himself onto the passenger seat with a squelch and slammed the door closed behind him a little harder than he intended. He sighed in relief at the immediate lack of howling wind and pelting rain on his face, and then in appreciation for the pumping heat coming from the aircon vents.

“Thank you,” he breathed out in a gust, sagging into the seat and dumping his bag unceremoniously by his feet. He followed that with his scarf and his jacket and they joined his bag on the floor.

“I’ll pay to have your car valeted, I’m so sorry,” he said, embarrassment creeping up his neck again now that he was out of imminent danger of being carried to sea by the river of water rushing down the hill.

Remus didn’t reply. When Sirius looked at him it was to find Remus staring at him blankly. His gaze seemed to take in the disheveled, dripping hair, his soaked shirt and the fog on the passenger window from the combination of moisture and warm air in a state of what looked suspiciously like horror.

When he noticed Sirius was looking back, he seemed to come back to himself.

“Er, no problem at all – it’s no weather to walk in, that’s for sure.”

“Still,” Sirius kept on uncertainly, “I really appreciate it. If you could just drop me by my bus stop-”

“How far from your place will the bus drop you?”

“Er - about half a km…”

“Where do you live?”

Sirius rattled off his address, not even able to muster up the energy to argue that he’d be fine on the bus.

Remus nodded and indicated back onto the road.

It was at this point that Sirius began to pat his pockets for his house keys in the general process of checking that he had all of his belongings accounted for after he nearly lost them to the flood.

It was also at this point that a picture came to Sirius of the little semi-precious stone tree that Mary had got for him for his desk. She’d told him that Amethyst would help him keep his cool on hard calls and help generally with his stress and anxiety. He privately thought it was quite pretty and that it made a particularly good place to hang his keys when he arrived at work. Fuck.

“Shit,” he cursed blackly.

“Alright?” Remus asked in concern.

“You’re not going to believe this.”

“Try me.”

“I’ve left my keys at work.”

“Hmm, shit, indeed,”

Sirius sighed and covered his face in his hands.

Not only was he caught looking like a drowned rat in a torrential downpour by the man he’d been fantasizing about for the last week, but now he’d taken his kind offer to drive him home and fucked that up by being the most forgetful person this side of the equator. His hands fell from his face and he registered that Remus was doing a U-turn.

“Where are you going?” Sirius asked in a miserable tone he didn’t bother to disguise.

“Home,” Remus shrugged, “Uh – I’m bringing you to mine. We’ll get you out of those clothes and get you warm, dry and fed, and then we’ll figure out the rest, okay?”

Sirius was a little taken aback. He was also a little uncomfortable, but he couldn’t very well say no. He also couldn’t help that his ears were burning at the way that Remus had said “get you out of those clothes”. So, he just leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes, feeling a little defeated and nodded.

Not long after, Maybe a 15 minute drive away from the office, Remus pulled into an apartment block and parked in a spot marked R.Lupin. He turned to Sirius with a careful smile.

“Ready?” he asked. Sirius nodded and gathered his belongings, grimacing at the sodden, cold fabric of his jacket and wondering if his phone had made it or if he’d need to send it for water damage repair.

He followed Remus towards a set of lifts and stood next to him, plucking his collar way from his neck in discomfort.

A few floors up, the door pinged and opened into a hallway and Remus lead him to a door three over from the lift and dug out a set of keys.

When they entered the flat, Remus gave him a quick tour through his comfortably furnished apartment ending with the guest bathroom. He handed him a change of clothes and a towel and told Sirius to take as long as he needed and use whatever was to hand before he left him blinking after him as he moved in the direction of the open plan living, kitchen and dining space.

***

Sirius emerged from the bathroom about 20 minutes later wearing Remus’s clothes, having used Remus’s shampoo and blinking around Remus’s house in a daze as he absently toweled off his hair. He padded through the hallway.

As he wandered towards the living space, he took the opportunity to look around properly. The hallway had a number of picture frames lining the walls. They were filled with what Sirius supposed were the normal kind of family pictures. The first set of frames had photo’s that he supposed depicted Remus’s parents, posed in what was clearly wedding photos or otherwise candid in honey-moon and Christmas pictures. The next set were clearly of the parents in the previous photos, albeit older and holding or interacting with various incarnations of Remus at different ages. The third set seemed to have been taken closer to the present, because in these, Remus looked to be only a little younger than he was now. He was interacting with a variety of people who could be college friends or family members his own age. There were also quite a few pictures of a kid – with pictures taken as a baby, a toddler and then when he was maybe 4 or 5. Remus was on a lot of these pictures, as well as two women – one of them with pink hair and the other long, platinum blonde hair.

Sirius only spent a moment looking at these photo’s before he was startled by a pounding on Remus’s door. He heard Remus go to meet whoever it was, and heard the distinctive sound of a delivery driver asking for payment, Remus checking the order, exchanging cash and then the sign off of “have a good night!” from the driver, followed by the “you too!” from Remus before the door shut.

He reached the end of the passage and went in the direction of the noises he could hear in the kitchen.

“Hey,” Remus called out to him, “Find everything you needed?” Remus asked from where he was decanting takeaways from a container onto 2 plates.

“Yeah, thank you so much – I know this is such an imposition, I-”

“Sirius,” Remus stopped him, “You didn’t turn up on my door and demand to use my shower and wear my joggers – I offered. You’re in a tough spot. You’re welcome here, okay?”

Sirius felt himself squirming, uncomfortable with being offered this kind of hospitality without any visible strings.

Remus motioned to the table and the second plate of curry.

“Hope you like Indian,” he said with a sheepish expression, and sat in front of his plate.

Sirius made his way over to his chair and sat, deciding to swallow his trepidation in favour of a little gratitude. He smiled shyly and picked up his cutlery.

“I love Indian,” he confirmed wryly, thinking that this was more or less exactly what he had in mind for dinner tonight even if he had made it home, “Thank you.”

Remus smiled and continued eating. They ate in comfortable silence, the only noise the sound of their cutlery on plates and the shredding of naan. They finished their meals, and then Remus gathered their dishes and Sirius stood to help him load his dishwasher. When they’d tidied after themselves Remus leaned his hip against the counter. Sirius leaned across from him, his back to the sink and crossed his arms.

“Okay, so, you’re going to think I’m the most irresponsible person, but my only key to my flat is currently hanging on a gemstone tree which may or may not have spiritual powers on my desk in the office.”

Despite himself, it seemed, Remus snorted in amusement. Sirius smiled wryly and continued.

“I’ve been meaning to get a spare cut, but I only moved in just over a month ago and it’s just been pretty non-stop since then,”

“Sirius, I get it – moving is time consuming, and settling in a new spot is-”

“Fucking daunting,” Sirius finished with a grateful smile.

“Do you live alone?”

“Very much so,” Sirius nodded awkwardly.

“And a little birdy told me that Security have dismantled the swipe-card entry for this weekend while they update the system over the long weekend.”

Sirius felt the blood leave his face. So, he was locked out of his flat until Tuesday. Brilliant. Fuck.

Remus must have noticed his silent panic.

“Do you have anyone you can stay with?” he asked kindly.

“The only person I could potentially ask is James-”

“Okay,” Remus nodded encouragingly.

“-and he and Lily are away for the weekend.”

Remus grimaced as that option was thwarted. He looked off to the side and seemed to come to a decision.

“I have a sleeper-couch – would you like to stay with me?”

Sirius looked at Remus assessingly, trying to figure out if he was asking purely to give Sirius the illusion that he had an option in the matter.

He supposed he did have options. He did have his wallet. He could find a hotel. Over a long weekend. When prices would be exorbitant. He didn’t want to use any more of Alphard’s money, but he supposed he could if he really didn’t want to stay.

“Can I stay tonight? I’ll look into hotel options tomorrow, but I just can’t muster up the energy to look for one right now.”

A complicated set of expression moved over Remus’s expression almost quicker than Sirius could catch. Then he nodded.

“I normally catch up on my series on Friday nights, do you want to join me for a bewildering array of trash TV and then I’ll find some sheets for the sofa bed?

Sirius smiled, “Sounds like exactly what I’d be doing if I was home to be honest – barring the setting up a sofa bed,” he shrugged.

“Great,” Remus responded with a kind smile. He turned to his fridge and removed 2 ciders, gesturing with his chin in the direction of the living room and motioning for Sirius to follow.

***

It turned out that Remus had many trashy-tv interests.

They started with UK Task Master. Sirius had never seen it before, and after an initial stage of befuddlement, he found himself heaving with laughter at the celebrities being given increasingly ridiculous tasks to win arbitrary prizes. He made a note to catch up on all of the previous seasons ASAP.

Next, they moved onto Greys Anatomy, and a heated conversation ensued where Sirius insisted that the show wasn’t worth watching after season 16, and Remus insisted that committed fans just had to see it through to the end, no matter how terrible it got. They came to an agreeable cease-fire when it came to light that they both thought that season 5 and 6 were by far the strongest.

After that, and to Sirius’s delight, they moved on to Masterchef Australia. This was when Sirius found himself quite literally on the edge of his seat and avidly paying attention. He also (embarrassingly) found himself vocalizing quite a lot regarding that day’s challenge. It was an elimination episode, and the first round was a blind taste test. When one of his least favorite contestants mistook Aloe for Cucumber he audibly huffed and shook his head in frustration. When the judges managed to unsettle a contestant in the second half with their questions about the dish he was making, and got him worked up enough to play his immunity pin, Sirius groaned and complained that it was a cop-out. In the last round, when his personal favorite forgot to add sugar to their dessert he actually stood up, and walked around to the back of the sofa to lean against it, unable to sit still with anxiety, much to Remus’s amusement.

“So, this is your world-cup, huh?” He asked, the laugher dancing on his lovely features when Sirius finally settled during the ads.

“Kinda,” Sirius laughed sheepishly, “This show is the reason I like to cook,” he shrugged.

“I know you said you like to cook – but I didn’t realise you took it so seriously?” Remus asked with his head tilted charmingly.

“Yeah, well, that’s coz I’m-”

“Don’t…”

“Sirius,” he finished with a smug smirk.

They were sitting on the long end of a L-shaped modular sofa, with Remus tucked into the L corner to stretch his long legs out. Sirius was in the opposite corner of the sofa, with his legs tucked to the side of him after he’d finally abandoned his uncomfortable starting position of both-feet-on-the-floor-and-hands-clasped-in-his-lap. The chat while they’d been watching had been entertaining, but not so constant that they hadn’t been able to watch. Both of them seemed to share the conviction that any major observations or questions that would require long-winded answers should be left to the ad breaks.

Throughout the screenings, Sirius liked to think he’d managed to keep his staring to a minimum, even despite the way that the relaxed environment suited Remus so entirely. Tonight, he’d changed into a maroon hoodie and a pair of grey sweats which were borderline illegal. Sirius had made a study of not watching the way that the fabric draped over his pelvis the 2 times that he’d walked past Sirius to retrieve snacks or make tea.

“When did you start cooking?” Remus was asking, and Sirius dragged his mind out of thinking about the homey comfort of just watching TV with someone on a Friday night to listen and answer.

“Um, I think I was 15? Maybe 16?” He said, unable to help the slightly hesitant tone of his answer.

“I detect a story there…” Remus prompted.

“Uh – it’s not a very nice one,” Sirius said, grimacing, “But the upshot of it all is that I started cooking in an extra-mural program at school and have loved it ever since,” he finished with a small smile, happy he’d managed to skirt the unhappy memories.

Remus nodded, looking at him thoughtfully.

“Do you have any hobbies besides your sporting interests?” Sirius asked, desperate to know more about Remus.

“I like to garden,” Remus shrugged, “and read. I was also thinking I’d like to join a running club – you know do the whole ‘getting fit’ thing rather than just watching fit people?”

Sirius quietly thought that Remus didn’t need any help with that – he was quite fit without even getting off his couch – but he nodded to show that he understood and signal he was listening.

“I run as well,” Sirius said, picking up the conversation now, “Not in a club, but just after work usually.”

“And in your spare time you scale picturesque mountains as well,” this was added with a soft smirk and a raised brow.

Sirius felt himself blush.

“I don’t do sitting still very well,” he laughed softly. He looked up to see Remus’s smirk had become something fond – even tender.

He met his eyes and felt himself taking in Remus’s appearance properly again. During the course of their conversation, Remus shifted his position so that he was facing Sirius slightly. He’d tucked his legs under himself and pulled one sleeve of his hoodie over his hand, and he was fiddling with a loose string absently. His cheeks were flushed – like he was a little flustered, but having a nice time all the same – and he was nibbling on his lower lip slightly like he was… Was Remus nervous?

Sirius blinked a few times and then dropped his gaze to the couch between them, licking his lower lip in an effort to get it together.

Remus cleared his throat and made moves to get up.

“Shall we get your bed made?” he asked in a tentative tone.

“Sure,” Sirius croaked and swung his legs off the couch to get to his feet.

They fussed for a while, taking the pillows off of the long length of the L length of the couch. Then, to Sirius’s surprise, Remus unfolded the frame inside the base of the couch and the mattress that came with it.

“Is this the couch version of a Mary Poppins bag?” he asked.

Remus looked at him in surprise and confusion.

“It’s a sofa bed…” he stated like it was the most obvious thing.

“I’m gonna level with you,” Sirius said in befuddlement, “I had absolutely no idea what you meant when you said that.”

Remus frowned in disbelief.

“You’ve never seen a sofa bed?”

Sirius had, in fact, never seen a sofa bed.

He could see the appeal. If you had friends and guests over regularly, but no spare rooms then it was an ideal setup where you had functional seating and the ability to show hospitality to friends and stranded acquaintances. He particularly saw the appeal for families with kids.

Sirius didn’t know how to say that his family had never been the type to show hospitality at all. And even on the very odd occasion that someone did stay over because it was unavoidable, they always stayed in their immaculately kept guest room rather than the living space. Sirius never had friends over to stay and he only ever saw his cousins in formal situations. Even if he had seen them recreationally, his mother would never have allowed them to sleep on a multi-use couch. It struck him as something his mother would call ‘common’.

And yet he could imagine every situation where a couch like this might be ideal. He could picture movie nights and sleepovers and a million other scenarios he never got to enjoy because his family was ‘above’ all that. He felt the absence of those kinds of memories like a dull ache in his chest.

“I guess not,” Sirius laughed softly, unable to control the emotions he knew were visibly playing out in his expression.

He’d drift off later on, tucked into a comfortable fold-away bed in the living room of his office crush, thinking about all the things he’d missed, and all the awful memories he had in the place of those lovely, rose-tinged images he’d conjured in his mind when he’d thought about the sofa bed. And as he slipped out of consciousness, he thought of the fuzzy domesticity of sharing a curry and watching TV with someone who looked at you like they never wanted to look away.

***

He was throwing up, and his mother was screaming.

He’d known she would be mad – BOYS DON’T COOK!

He’d known it was a risk to practice at home - NOW YOU’VE WRECKED THE KITCHEN AND THE STAFF WON’T BE IN TILL TOMORROW! IRRESPONSIBLE… LAZY… MESSY…

He’d known she would be creative and cruel in her punishment - THIS IS WHY YOU’RE SO FAT, YOU UNGRATEFUL …. GREEDY… GLUTTONOUS… UNGRATEFUL…

But he hadn’t expected her to force him to eat the full batch of the muffins he’d baked in front of her, shrieking insults in his ear the whole time while he sobbed that he couldn’t eat anymore, that he needed water, that he couldn’t breathe, that he was going to be sick.

Even as he vomited up two hours of practice for the competition that he wanted to enter for his class on the kitchen tiles, his mother stood over him and screamed blue murder. That he was disgusting. That he couldn’t do anything right. That he was wasting money with this faggot hobby. That he was a useless drain on their resources.

“I’m s – sorry, mother,” Sirius sobbed, between heaves, his tears running into the saliva coating his chin from emptying his stomach of its contents, “P-please, I’m sorry…”

He was being shaken and he whimpered anew, bracing for a new wave of cruelty.

“Sirius!”

The voice was deep and concerned, not shrill and venomous. He sobbed, and the shaking resumed.

“Sirius! Wake up!”

His eyes opened with a snap, and he blinked, his heart pounding in his ears as he gasped and sobbed into the pillow. He rolled onto his back, trying to catch his breath.

“Hey! Hey, it’s okay – you’re okay!” The voice – Remus - said in a gentle, but firm voice from where he was crouched next to the fold-away bed that Sirius was laying on, soaked in sweat and beginning to tremble.

To his horror, as his breathing steadied, the trembling only increased. And as he shook, he began to cry in earnest, feeling the terror and the revulsion fade into a bone-deep agony that spilled from his eyes down the sides of his face and into his hair.

“Sirius, hey – what… what can I do? Shit,” Remus swore harshly, and Sirius flinched.

Remus ran his hands through his sleep-disheveled curls; “Okay. Okay, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

He lifted the edge of Sirius’s hopelessly tangled sheets and got in, pushing Sirius gently to get him to scoot over. Once he had, Remus turned to Sirius in the bed and pulled him close to his chest, wrapping him tightly in his arms, and Sirius couldn’t help it – he buried his nose in Remus’s chest and sobbed.

“Shhh… it’s okay… it was a nightmare… she- it wasn’t real… you’re safe… Shhhh.”

Remus began to make gentle circles on Sirius’s back as he spoke soft words of comfort, holding him firmly. Securely.

Sirus sobbed until he was actually hiccupping, his breath shuddering into steadiness. The trembling took a little longer to ebb, and through it all, Remus held Sirius tighter, mumbling sweet nothings to him – that it was over, that it was just a dream, that he was safe.

He didn’t notice when the trembling faded, because he drifted off again shortly before, his face still pressed into the softness of Remus’s bare chest.

***

When he woke up the next morning, it was to a multitude of realizations.

The first of which was that he was alone.

This was not abnormal for Sirius, and so it took him a moment to realize why he should be concerned about this.

The next realization was that the TV was on – playing cartoons, to be specific.

Then he felt the shift at the foot of the folding mattress and raised himself to his elbows to see a little boy sitting there – he must have been 7 or 8 – who was Remus in miniature.

This brought him to the next realization. He had had a nightmare about his delightful mother. Remus had held him until he fell asleep. And Remus wasn’t here now, but his mini-me was.

He blinked at the boy who was brazenly sat on the foot of his bed for the previous night in befuddlement trying to make sense of what was going on when the kid turned around and noticed he was awake with an un-fazed smile.

“Hi!”

“Hey,” Sirius said with a friendly croak, feeling his lips twitch upward in a smile.

“Who are you?”

“Sirius,” he replied, sitting up and leaning forward with his fist extended, “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Teddy,” the boy said and tapped his fist against Sirius’s, his grin expanding.

“My da said you’re a friend of his?”

“Ah, yeah,” Sirius said, a million different wires involving the pictures in the hall and the boy in front of him connecting in his brain.

Remus has a son. Remus is a dad.

“Cool,” Teddy said nonchalantly and turned back to the cartoons, “You can watch the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy with me if you want.”

“Thanks,” Sirius replied uncertainly, wandering where Remus was and how he’d respond to find Sirius watching cartoons with his son before he’d had a chance to introduce them properly. But then, Remus had told Teddy that Sirius was a friend, so maybe it was alright. He shuffled to the end of the mattress with the duvet still puddled around his waist and settled a respectful distance away from the kid and looked at the TV.

He sat in a mile-a-minute thought spiral, where he alternated between darting looks at the little Remus – Teddy - watching the cartoon on the TV, and shooting looks at the entry to the space, expecting Remus to come marching in any second to yell at him for talking to his son without permission. He eventually relaxed, though, and became absorbed in the cartoon, letting himself settle fully into the mattress, resting his chin on his hand as he became engrossed.

“Teddy! I told you to hang out in my room for a sec!”

Sirius actually jumped in surprise and felt himself moving in front of Teddy slightly, his heart absolutely hammering in his ears until he looked up and saw the fond exasperation colouring Remus’s expression as he looked at his son. When he caught Sirius’s momentary panic his expression flickered before it cleared as he looked back at his son.

“Yeah, well you were taking so long talking to mum, so I got bored.”

“Teddy, you probably woke Sirius-”

“But he’s been watching with me! He didn’t mind being woken up, right?” he asked looking questioningly at Sirius to his side.

Sirius darted an uncertain look between Remus and Teddy.

“It’s okay– I probably needed to wake up anyway,” he said with a shrug and a tentative smile towards Remus, he was rewarded with a shy smile in return. Remus seemed to accept the situation for what it was and puffed a soft laugh, before he ran a hand through his curls, making Sirius feel like swooning even as his thoughts continued to race.

Remus has a son. Remus is a dad.

“Well, I guess you’ve met then? I don’t need to make any introductions?”

“Nope!” Teddy piped up cheerfully, “Can we have cereal, da?”

Remus breathed out a sigh, “Yeah, kiddo, I’ll fix you a bowl,”

“Sirius can have some too, right?” Teddy asked continuing to look ahead at the TV.

“If he’d like, then yeah,” Remus said with a smirk directed at Sirius this time, “does he want some coffee to go with his coco-pops?”

“He does,” Sirius said with a responding smirk, “I’ll give you a hand,” he wiggled out of the duvet and noticed Remus had proffered a hand to help him up. He took the warm hand and heaved himself to standing before following Remus to the kitchen.

He padded to the bench in his wake and sidled up to him as Remus reached up into the kitchen cupboard to pull down a box of coco-pops with one hand and flicking on the switch of the kettle with the other.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know if you’d be comfortable with me talking to him without your okay, but he-”

“Yeah, he’s like his mum – wants to include everyone, you know?”

“Yeah, I see that,” Sirius said with a little laugh, finding two cups in the drawer he was standing in front of and pulling them onto the counter.

“It’s okay, by the way – I just feel bad that I didn’t get a chance to warn you before you met,”

“Oh. That’s okay… I was a little surprised you didn’t mention it, but he’s a good kid, so it’s all good,” Sirius shrugged a little, unsure what else to say.

“Yeah, I got a call earlier from his mum – apparently her wife surprised her with a last-minute spa trip and she needed me to take Teddy today. We alternate,” he explained with a shrug, “but we’re flexible.”

Sirius nodded, slotting another piece into the puzzle that was Remus’s family dynamic. His kid’s mother was in a lesbian relationship – probably not homophobic, then.

“So, I would have warned you or said something, but when I woke up, I didn’t have a whole lot of time to get up and meet him and his mum outside and-”

“Remus, it’s okay,” Sirius laughed softly, looking on the counter for anything resembling instant coffee. Remus noticed his searching and pointed to the opposite counter to where there was a tea and coffee set up. Sirius smiled in thanks and moved to stand by the opposite counter, grateful to have his back to Remus to process while he made 2 cups of instant coffee. He wondered absently where Remus had woken up – had he stayed with Sirius until the morning?

“Sugar?” he asked over his shoulder.

“No thanks,” he turned to acknowledge the preference and found Remus looking at him with something like curiosity and concern.

Sirius frowned and tilted his head in silent question.

“I just-”

Sirius’s frown deepened with his confusion.

“Are you okay today?”

Sirius took a deep breath and tried to swallow his embarrassment and his feeling of being backed into a corner again. He hated revealing these parts of himself. He hated that it made people pity him, or made them feel like they knew him or had power over him. And he hadn’t even had a choice this time. He’d been asleep. He tried to relax - Remus hadn’t given him any reason to think he was going to take advantage of his vulnerability. And yet, he couldn’t be sure and it scared him shitless. Regardless, he forced himself to relax his expression and tried to smile in reassurance.

“Yeah, um,” he swallowed heavily and felt himself blush, “Thanks, uh, for-”

“Yeah, it was my pleasure- ah – it was no problem,” Remus grimaced sheepishly and went beetroot red.

“Da, can I have juice?”

His son’s request from the living room seemed to snap him out of the moment and he turned to the fridge.

“Yeah, Teddy, did you want orange?”

“Yes, please!”

Remus looked at Sirius with a tentative smile and tilted his head toward the coffee cups he’d prepared.

“Could you take the cups through and I’ll bring the bowls?”

“Of course,” Sirius said, taking the cups and making his way to the lounge space.

“Hey, Ted,” Remus asked from behind him, “can you show Sirius how to fold the bed away?”

“Okay!” Teddy returned enthusiastically and paused the show on the telly and springing to his feet.

Sirius carefully placed the coffee on the side tables as Teddy began to rattle off instructions like a little project manager. They had the bed stripped and folded the bed away in no time. When they were replacing the cushions on the couch, Remus joined them from the kitchen, and Teddy resumed the show, seated on the couch to the one side. Sirius sat himself on the other end of the sofa and took the bowl of cereal from Remus in one hand and his cup of coffee in the other. As he rested his bowl in his lap, Remus seated himself between the two of them.

“Can Sirius come to the zoo Da?” Teddy suddenly asked Remus’s side.

“Ah, I’m not sure, love,” Remus said uncertainly, before darting a look to Sirius apologetically, “he might have other plans.”

“Do you have other plans?” Teddy asked outright, leaning forward to see around his dad and look at Sirius.

“Uhm, I guess I don’t?” he said in bemusement, “But I don’t want to intrude on you and your dad’s day…”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Remus said to him softly, something unreadable in his expression.

“Okay,” Sirius said just as quietly, meeting his gaze, “I’ll come if you want me to?”

“I do,” Remus said with a smile that Sirius immediately mirrored.

***

“If you could take an animal home with you, what would it be?”

Sirius blinked in surprise at the face upturned towards him as they stood in front of the elephant enclosure.

“Ah – I guess I like the wild dogs?” Sirius said, tilting his head from side to side like he was considering, “Or a lion, maybe?”

“Cool,” Teddy said like it made perfect sense, “what about you, da?”

“Maybe one of the wolves?” Remus mused consideringly. Sirius snorted in amusement.

Teddy just nodded seriously like that made sense.

“What about you, love?” Remus returned down to his son.

His little brow furrowed adorably in thought and Sirius was struck again by how much Teddy looked like Remus.

“I think I’d like a penguin,” he finished nodding once, “can we go to the playground?” he changed tack suddenly and Sirius smiled as Remus responded in the affirmative and they followed after the kid as he ran down the path toward the zoo-themed play-ground.

“So, I have a question, and feel free to tell me to fuck off if I’m over-stepping.”

“I think all the best questions start that way,” Remus responded with a smirk. Sirius elbowed him lightly and huffed a laugh.

“What’s the story?” Sirius asked, letting his curiosity get the better of him.

Remus looked at him wryly, not needing him to elaborate on what he meant.

“Tonks – Teddy’s mum – and I were best friends at high school. Teddy was conceived when we were only 20, one drunken night when we both had questions that needed answering and we weren’t responsible enough to take precautions. But the experience showed her that she likes girls, and it confirmed for me that I like guys,” he said with a shrug, acting like he hadn’t just casually rocked Sirius’s world, “We also got Teddy out of the deal,”

“Pretty sweet deal,” Sirius said, looking towards where Teddy was descending a slide painted to look like a snake.

“Yeah,” Remus said, his lips quirking in a soft smile at his son now running over to push a littler kid on the swings.

“The same year I got into a really bad accident on my motor-bike and was in hospital for almost her whole pregnancy while I recovered – which is where I met Poppy,” he said punctuating the point with a tilt to his head, “And then for the first few years of his life, I stayed with her so we could co-parent, but my injury – I injured my neck really badly - gave me some long-term health issues. I get migraines that take me out for days at a time,” he elaborated, “and so when I got my own place when Teddy was about six we decided she should still have primary custody until Teddy is told enough to be able to call her if he’s with me when I get taken down by a big one and can’t look after him.”

“How old is he now?”

“He’s eight in March,” Remus smiled, “So he’s probably getting to the stage where I can start looking for a place with a spare for him so I can have him more often.”

Sirius nodded, warmth spreading in his chest at how much Remus clearly wanted to spend more time with his kid.

“Thank you for telling me,” Sirius said with a smile, biting his cheek and looking at Remus shyly under his lashes.

“My son woke you up without any warning,” he smiled wryly down at Sirius, but there were little pink spots on his cheeks again and Sirius thought he looked lovely, “I think I owed a few explanations.”

He paused and looked at Sirius consideringly as they reached the playground. He craned his head to make sure he could see Teddy and then indicated a shaded picnic table. Sirius followed and sat across from him.

“Can I ask you a question?” Remus asked carefully. Sirius had a suspicion that he knew where this was going. He nodded anyway, figuring that turnabout was fair play.

“What’s the story?” he imitated Sirius’s question with a playful smirk that made Sirius laugh softly in response, feeling his cheeks flush. He took a deep breath.

“A few months ago, the only family had any contact with died,”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said with a sympathetic wince.

“Thanks,” Sirius acknowledged before continuing.

“He left me quite a lot of money,” he said carefully, “and so I bought a train ticket from London to Edinburgh and used it to give myself a new beginning here - away from everything.”

“Everything?” Remus asked.

“My parents are very wealthy, very bigoted, and very abusive,” he summarized.

“I left home when I was 16 and couch surfed with my friends until I could leave school and get a job and a dingy flat. But I was still in the same city as them, you know? It was like they had me surrounded and I couldn’t escape the memories of my dad taking a belt to me in the bathroom of fancy restaurants or my brother almost dying of an overdose because of their abuse – and so I left as soon as I could.”

He’d been staring down at the table while he told his story, but now he chanced a look up at Remus to find him trying to disguise an absolutely stricken expression. He felt himself deflate at the expression.

“Is your brother alright?”

Sirius nodded.

“He’s in rehab at the moment. I’m trying to get sorted here so that when he comes out, he can come live with me.”

“How old is he?”

“He’s 25 now,” Sirius nodded thoughtfully, “but he’ll need a support system when he gets out, you know?”

Remus nodded his understanding.

“And you not … swinging straight-” he started with a raised brow before Sirius interjected.

“Being gay, you mean?” he asked wryly.

“That, yes,” Remus’s lips quirked into a small smile before he went on, “Is that why you left?”

“They’d been pretty awful for a long time,” Sirius answered, “But when they found out when I was 16, dad tried to beat it out of me and Reg – my brother – he cleaned me up as much as he could; enough for me to stagger off to the house of the guy they caught me with, and he put me up for a few weeks until we broke up, and then I stayed with another friend until I was making enough to find a flat of my own.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“When people hear my story, it changes the way they think of me. They get this pitying expression and I hate it.”

“I won’t lie, Sirius, I’m so sad that had to happen to you – but more than that I want to Molotov cocktail their mansion – I’m picturing a mansion, I hope that’s okay – and burn it to the ground with them inside it.”

He said it with such conviction. Like he meant it. And Sirius felt himself smile. He drove his thumbnail against the raw wood of the table while he tried to control his expression.

“They do live in a mansion,” he confirmed off-hand, “Just to help you complete the picture.”

Remus smirked in response just as Teddy ran over yelling that he was hungry.

“Can we get pizza, da?”

“Hm, what if we got the ingredients and made the pizza when we get home, and in the meantime, you enjoy the snacks we brought?”

“Yeah, okay!” Teddy said with a grin and turned to Sirius who by this point knew what to expect.

“Do you like pizza, Sirius?”

“I do,” Sirius said with an amused smile. He darted a look up to Remus to confirm he was cool with it and then preempted the offer; “I can teach you how to make pizza dough if you like?”

“Yeah!”

***

When Teddy’s mum came to pick Teddy up much later, Sirius had every intention of making himself scarce to avoid her being grumpy at this relative stranger being allowed to hang out with her son. Instead, Teddy poked his head into the passage where he was hovering, trying to stay out of sight, and beckoned him over.

“Mum says she wants to meet you!”

Sirius swallowed a groan and made his way over sheepishly. He was met with a bright-looking woman with pink hair and a curious expression that held absolutely no ill will whatsoever.

“Hi, I’m Sirius,” he stepped forward and shook her hand; she had a firm grip.

“Tonks - nice to meet you,” she said with a pleasant smile, “Remus told me he’d picked up a stray from work-”

“Tonks…” Remus glared at her.

“Okay, he told me you were in a tough spot for the weekend and you were staying here,” she relented good-naturedly.

“Yeah, I was about to develop gills when he rescued me from the flash flood yesterday,” he joked back, she raised a brow at him appreciatively and turned to Remus.

“I like him,” he said abruptly and nodded like she was giving her blessing, before she kissed Remus’s cheek in farewell, waved brightly to Sirius, and then called Teddy to the car.

“Bye, Sirius!” Teddy said and surprised Sirius by attacking his middle in a hug.

“Bye, bud,” Sirius said, returning the embrace and feeling bewildered and a little touched if he was honest.

Teddy broke the hug, none the wiser, and did the same with Remus, who kissed the top of his head and told him bye before he ran out the door.

“I see what you mean about him being like her,” Sirius said with a smile, thinking the scene felt a lot like he was being included in this dynamic and feeling a pang that it was just for the day.

“Yeah, he got the best parts of her,” Remus smiled at the door warmly.

“Looks like you, though,” Sirius said before he’d thought better of it.

“First thing I noticed,” he followed up, wondering whether that sounded better, “was a bit of an ah-ha moment for me, really.”

“Oh? How so?” Remus asked in bemusement.

“I saw the pictures of him on the wall of the hallway yesterday,” he explained, “But I didn’t quite put 2 and 2 together.”

Remus snorted.

“I uh-” Sirius started, feeling suddenly shy again.

“I may have forgotten entirely to book a hotel for tonight,” he said with a wince.

“I honestly just assumed you were staying another night,” Remus said with a smirk.

“Thank you,” Sirius said, looking at his shoes to give himself a moment to corral the blinding grin that threatened to split his expression and to marvel that he no longer felt uncomfortable accepting Remus’s help, “For everything – I really enjoyed today.”

“I think Teddy enjoyed it too if that hug was anything to go by,” Remus responded, his smile growing.

“Just Teddy?” Sirius asked tentatively.

“I had fun today too,” Remus’ smile softened. He took a step toward Sirius and then stopped himself. Then he stopped and looked away like he was irritated with himself.

“Masterchef is on again tonight?” Sirius posited tentatively.

Remus laughed in a self-deprecating manner and then nodded, flicking his brows toward the living room for Sirius to follow.

This time they made the bed first and they sat at the head against the pillows, watching as the contestants tackled a choux pastry challenge. They sat much closer than they had the night before, necessitated by the mattress being set up, and Sirius was reminded inescapably of when Netflix and Chill had been a thing. It didn’t help that their knowledge of each other had dramatically developed in the last 24 hours – the knowledge that Remus was gay made the proximity particularly challenging for Sirius not to act on the impulses that Remus’s slightly sunburned cheeks and damp curls from the shower prompted. There was one last thing that stopped him.

“Mary said that you guys have a thing,” he blurted when the first add break started, and Remus looked at him in surprise, before he muted the TV with the remote and turned to Sirius, giving him his full attention.

“Sorry – I uh. She said she had a date with you a few weeks back,” he clarified, “and then afterward said that you’d both decided you didn’t want anything serious, and so you were just friends.”

At Remus’s continued confusion he went on.

“It made it sound like you guys were in some kind of situation-ship – friends with benefits, you know?”

When he turned back to Remus, it was to find his lips rolled into his mouth while he apparently tried not to laugh.

“What?” Sirius asked defensively.

“She did ask me out,” Remus said, sobering and explaining, “I didn’t realize because I’m oblivious where women are concerned, and I thought she wanted to take me to try this Tapas bar - as a friend,” he snorted, but it was directed at himself, “I cleared it up pretty quickly and we still had a lovely evening – turns out we have a lot in common and we’ve become friends,” he shrugged.

“So why…”

“I think it was some kind of combination of not wanting to out me and preserving her own ego,” Remus shook his head and leaned back on one of the pillows with a wry smile.

Well that all fit.

“So… you’re not in a sex-friendship with Mary?”

“Given that I like to stick my cock in other men’s arses; I think not.”

Sirius choked on his own spit at the wonderful vulgarity of the statement, but the coughing quickly turned to laughter as he considered all of the little ways he’d been misunderstanding things.

“So, you,” he started between wheezes, “walk down together after work because…”

“Because we get on the same bus and I’m trying to save the planet for my kid so I bus to work whenever I can – unless there’s a forecast for monsoon-like conditions in the evening, in which case I drive and create opportunities to pick up the rain-sodden cute guy from the call center that I’ve been trying to flirt with for weeks while he all but swims to his bus stop.”

That made Sirius stop in his tracks. He caught his breath and looked at Remus where he was still leaning against the pillows, stretched out along the length of the mattress with his arms crossed over his chest in mock-indignance.

“Y-You have been flirting?”

Remus gave him a dry look.

“God, you’re just as obtuse as I am,” he huffed under his breath, “This is why I thought you were straight and nearly lost my shit at the bowling alley when you told me you weren’t,” he said in bemusement.

“Oh! I thought I might have put you off at first, honestly,” Sirius said, laughing softly now that he saw it all so clearly.

“You did the absolute opposite, but then I was down with a migraine the next weekend and recovering in the early part of this week-”

“I thought I just wasn’t seeing you because I was on the desk-”

“And then I was so busy catching up on Thursday and Friday that I was eating lunch at my desk so I couldn’t come find you,”

“Come find me?”

Remus looked at him like he had grown another head.

“If I hadn’t been virtually chained to my desk, I would have come to find you,” he said dryly.

“But you had my number-”

“I was going to use it this weekend,” Remus said with a little smirk, “but then you saved me the trouble by leaving your keys hanging on a decorative amethyst tree…”

Sirius snorted.

“How did you get my number?” he asked suddenly.

“Oh, ah… James gave it to me,” Remus smirked adorably.

“Remind me to buy him a drink,” Sirius muttered under his breath.

“Does that mean you were receptive to my flirting?” Remus asked, and under the merriment, there was the slightest bit of uncertainty.

Sirius stared blankly at Remus for a moment before launching himself at the other man and claiming his lips the way he’d been thinking of doing since the first time he saw him.

Remus made a noise of surprise, followed by deep appreciation before he pulled Sirius bodily on top of him so that he was straddling his lap, and gripping him firmly by the hips as he opened his mouth and deepened the kiss.

Sirius broke the kiss with a hand on either side of Remus’s face and stared into those kind, lovely eyes.

“That was the most emphatic yes I can muster,” he said in a gasp.

“Oh, I think we can do better than that,” Remus growled, pressing Sirius closer for another kiss that made him feel like he could see into another dimension. Remus’s mouth was languid but there was an urgency to his death grip on Sirius’s hips that spoke of what was to come.

His tongue pressed into Sirius’s and he returned the pressure, licking into Remus’s mouth with enthusiasm, tasting the sour-dough he’d taught them to make earlier and the peach cider they were drinking. He sucked on Remus’s tongue and ground down into Remus’s lap, eliciting a gasp and a groan from the taller man at the pressure.

“Hey, wait a sec-” Remus gasped.

“Sorry, definitely moving too quickly,” Sirius grimaced and began to shift off Remus’s lap.

“NO! No, sorry - not what I meant,” Remus said with a hysterical giggle, wrapping his arms around Sirius’s waist to prevent him from going.

“What is it?” Sirius laughed in befuddlement, settling on top of Remus again and wrapping his arms around his neck, little butterflies escaping into his chest.

“I – um…” Remus began and blushed, biting his lip, “I want to take you out again – properly this time, not just because my kid invited you.”

“Oh.”

Sirius bit his lower lip to avoid grinning like a madman. His stomach swooped and he thought he might pass out from the intensity of his pleasure at the way that Remus’s gaze seemed to be inexorably pulled between his eyes and his lips.

“For the record,” Sirius began, “Your son was an excellent wingman - because I loved today,” he said honestly, “I’m happy to hang out with him any time.”

Remus poked him in the side and he squirmed before relenting.

“Of course, I’d love to go out with you,” he said unable to prevent his grin from spreading.

Remus seemed to fizz with happiness and dropped his head onto Sirius’s shoulder for a moment to collect himself.

“I was thinking we could go bowling again? I’d love to make good on my offer to help you perfect your technique,” he said in a low voice and with a slow smirk.

“Oh, I’m sure you have a lot to teach me,” Sirius smirked back, and leaned forward to recapture Remus’s lips once more.