Archive of Our Own ^beta

Remus checked his hair in the rearview mirror before he buckled his seatbelt, feeling the little butterflies in his chest explode into action when he remembered how it had felt to have Sirius’s hands threaded through his curls the weekend before.

He watched himself bite his own lip in an effort to tamper down the goofy grin that threatened to split his features and swallowed down his nerves, before he adjusted the mirror back into position, and reversed out of his parking spot in his complex.

Tonks would rib him endlessly if she had seen the lengths that Remus had gone through to get himself ready for this date.

He’d started by virtually emptying his wardrobe of clothes, stuck between wanting to dress for the chilly weather, look put together but casual, and make it clear that he had put effort into how he looked without looking like he tried too hard. After trying all of his shirts and jumpers, he’d eventually settled for a navy linen button-down shirt, black jeans and with an open black peacoat worn over and finished with his more casual lace-up boots and a scarf. They were going to dinner after bowling after all and he wanted to look nice. He’d also taken his time with his hair, using the pomade he’d used for the last bowling outing when Sirius had blown his world apart with his combination of flustered charm, non-existant bowling skills, and the revelation about his sexuality. He finished the look with his da’s watch for luck and a spritz of aftershave, but not too much as to be overwhelming.

This date was coming at the end of a week full to the brim with sweet and flirty texting and poor attempts at casual conversation at work over their shared lunches, but it was difficult to imagine how they could possibly play it cool after the weekend before.

While they hadn’t shagged, they had spent Saturday and Sunday night snogging themselves silly and then breathlessly separating to sleep fitfully in their respective beds (in Sirius’s case, a pull-out couch in Remus’s living room), just to meet again in the morning, blinking shyly at each other in the kitchen to drink coffee and talk. Remus was warm at the memory:

Remus hadn’t snogged someone – like honest to god, reveling in the feeling of lips slipping together and warm skin under his hands – in years. He had thought he was past that stage of his life of feeling like he just couldn’t get enough of someone. Even when he had crushes like the one he’d had on Sirius, he never saw himself losing himself in another person ever again. Until the crush turned into something reciprocated and lovely, that is. Until Sirius had positively lunged at him across the sofa bed like it was scripted.

And then Sirius was in his lap, after a day where all the major road blocks that Remus had foreseen in the way to them getting together – his illness, his kid, his kid’s mother, the possibility that Sirius might not feel the same – had come crumbling to the ground, and it felt like a dream. Sirius felt like a dream in his arms and he was rapidly losing the battle against his own desire until he felt Sirius’s hands shake against his arms where he’d been gripping. That and the sudden stiffness in his shoulders made him pull away. He’d known it was the right decision the moment he did; Sirius swallowed heavily and gave a shaky smile that didn’t seem entirely genuine and then made to lean in for another kiss just as Remus stopped him.

“Let’s slow down, yeah?” Remus asked huskily.

The emotions on Sirius’s face flittered between relief, disappointment and confusion, and Remus hurried to elaborate.

“I want to… please don’t misunderstand,” he pecked a kiss at the place where Sirius’s brow furrowed, “I just want us to know each other a little better.”

Sirius nodded, but he was still frowning slightly and he wasn’t meeting Remus’s eyes.

“Sirius,” Remus persisted, “Look at me?”

Sirius looked up and his expression was so openly conflicted that Remus felt a new wave of confidence that he’d made the right choice.

“I’m not gonna lose interest in you if we don’t sleep together tonight.”

Sirius’s brows shot up and Remus had smiled gently. His shoulders finally relaxed and his head dipped forward to meet Remus’s shoulder, and Remus slipped his arms around Sirius, holding him close. It was somehow more intimate than if they’d fucked.

“I’ll make some tea,” he kissed Sirius’s temple, “we’ll catch our breath a bit,” he leaned back and kissed Sirius between the brows again, “and then we can get back to snogging like teenagers some more – but we’re gonna stay there for a sec, alright?” The unspoken “until you trust me not to hurt you” hung in the air as Sirius shifted off his lap with a pleased and slightly sheepish smile and let Remus get up.

With the pressure relieved off of Sirius, the remainder of their accidental weekend together had been the best Remus had had in ages. On Sunday Sirius had cooked for him after an actual sleep in this time, and they’d flirted and chatted over chicken parmesan and red wine that Remus couldn’t pronounce, but apparently Sirius could because he spoke French(!?). And on Monday’s public holiday, Remus had asked Sirius to show him and Teddy one of his easier walks – partly because he was curious, and partly because Teddy had been texting him non-stop about hanging out with Sirius again.

The decision not to sleep together had a two-fold effect. Firstly, the prolonged anticipation was exquisite torture. He knew that when Sirius was ready, the sex would be that much better for the pause to adjust. Secondly, he hoped it would reassure Sirius. He had a suspicion garnered from his observations of him over their time dancing around each other at work, and then actively spending time together over the weekend when Sirius was stranded without his keys, that he would need Remus to prove he was worth trusting.

As he passed a few suburbs and complexes on his way to pick Sirius up for their date, he permitted himself a brief moment to let his heart break for the little bit of the story that Sirius had revealed about his family. At the way that he had been rejected and betrayed and used by everyone who was supposed to take care of him – had love dangled in front of him like a carrot that was never in reach while the rod behind him beat him black and blue. And so much had clicked for Remus when he’d found that out – the way that Sirius had seemed so deeply uncomfortable when Remus had offered him help on Friday, like he hated to cede his power or his independence. The way he had shifted in front of Teddy protectively when he didn’t know how Remus would react to his son waking Sirius up on Saturday morning, like he’d stepped in front of blows not meant for him before. How he’d whimpered in the night when Remus held him to his chest as he came out of his nightmare, and how he’d cried “Please M-Mother, don’t,” before Remus had successfully woken him from his terrors.

So, Remus wanted to show Sirius that he was safe. Since he was sixteen he’d been doing most things on his own, certainly with only himself to rely on, and so Remus wanted to show Sirius that he was worth making a fuss over, that he wanted to look after him for more than just what he could get from him physically. That’s what this date was about. They’d already begun the process of getting to know each other, now Remus wanted to spoil Sirius, make him feel as lovely as Remus already thought he was.

With that thought, Remus pulled up to a 2-story flat complex, and parked in front of the number that Sirius had given him as the address of his unit.

Then he picked up the bouquet of Magenta Lilies that he’d seen at the florist on his way home from work – the ones that had ‘Sirius’ written all over them - off his passenger seat and got out his car, swallowing heavily as he made his way up the path to the lower-level unit and raised his fist to knock. Before he got the opportunity the door swung open and Sirius stood in the opening, greeting him with a blinding grin.

He’d seen Sirius less than 3 hours ago when they’d both finished work, but he felt almost winded at how much he’d missed him in that time. The feeling of struggling to breathe was also compounded because in the time between shyly waving Sirius off on his bus before catching his own home and standing in front of his door then, Sirius had managed to get somehow, and inexplicably more beautiful.
He’d styled his lovely curls into a half up, half down style, with soft tendrils falling around his face effortlessly. He wore a forest green jumper that looked like brushed Merino or Alpaca with a V neck that gave the barest hint of a glimpse at his chest and collarbones, and the colour contrasted beautifully with the cool, pale tones of his skin and made his grey eyes shine almost silver. Then there were the jeans – the same ones he’d worn to bowling a few weeks back – the borderline illegal ones which had had Remus sitting on his hands all night to stop himself reaching out and touching.

“Hey,” Sirius breathed as his grin softened. Remus stepped closer.

“Hi,” he returned, not able to bring himself to be embarrassed by the husky tone of his voice. He presented Sirius with the flowers a little sheepishly and watched as the blood filled his cheeks when he blushed.

“Oh…” he sighed in pleasure, taking the flowers from Remus and brushing his fingers in the process – sending a bolt of lightning through him at the contact - he looked down at the lilies and then up at Remus.

“They’re beautiful, Thank you,” stepped towards Remus, paused, then seemed to think better of it and turned to walk into his flat, flowers in hand. Remus watched him go, bemused.
“Come in,” he called over his shoulder, “I won’t be a mo – I’ll put these into some water and then pop my shoes on.”

Remus obliged, crossing the threshold and looking around the flat curiously, taking in Sirius’s living space.

The flat was impersonally decorated, clearly a pre-furnished apartment, but here and there, Remus glimpsed what he was sure was Sirius’s own personality creeping through the sterile neutrality. On the grey, non-descript sofa, there was a home-knitted quilt in bright greens and blues. On the coffee table sat a stack of cooking magazines and a recipe book with torn and cut out recipes from those magazines poking out between its pages. There were a few framed photos placed on the mantle over the gas heater, displaying some of the views Remus recognized the pictured of Sirius’s hikes on Instagram, and a photo of a much younger Sirius, posing formally next to a smaller mini-me of him that Remus assumed must be his brother Regulus. Remus felt his heart flutter when he recognized a currently unframed picture next to the others. It was from the weekend before; one of those photos that the zoo took and printed on the spot as a souvenir – showing Teddy, Sirius and Remus, each posing with pythons draped over their shoulders. Sirius was laughing in the photo - presumably at the slightly green expression on Remus’s face at the proximity to the reptile over his shoulders – and Teddy was completely none-the-wiser, totally blissful sitting between them with a blinding smile.

He smiled and turned to see Sirius entering the living space, carrying a jug with the Lilies arranged carefully within. He placed them carefully on his dining table, looking pleased, and then glanced up see where Remus was watching.

“Thank you,” he said again, “you look…” he started and trailed off, eyes raking over Remus appreciatively. He shook his head in evident awe and Remus felt himself blush again, allowing himself to take Sirius in afresh and smirk.

“So do you,” he returned shaking his head appreciatively, “like something from a magazine…”

Sirius just stared at him, frozen and balanced on one foot from where he’d been trying to slip on his boots. When he re-animated, he nearly toppled over and caught himself on the wall, looking cute and flustered and Remus couldn’t help but move toward him.

“You alright?” he asked, laughter in his voice at the way Sirius was still wrestling with the shoe, muttering frustratedly under his breath.

“Yeah, I uh-” Sirius started, blushed deeper, and then finally slipped the boot on with an exclamation of triumph, “You ready to go?”

Remus frowned in bemusement, but let it go, and instead walked ahead of Sirius as he slipped on his leather jacket, and locked his flat behind him.

“I didn’t get a chance to ask you how the rest of your week was,” he heard from behind him as Sirius caught up with him to walk beside him down the path to Remus’s car.

“Teddy came over last night,” Remus answered with a smile, “I was on math homework duty mostly,” he finished with a smirk before turning to Sirius who was smiling up at him from his side.

“You?”

Sirius looked away sheepishly before looking back at Remus with a teasingly glint and a hint of nerves.

“Uh, well, I raided my wardrobe multiple times,” he started.

“Oh, I did that too,” Remus interjected, bumping Sirius’s shoulder gently with his and earning himself a smirk in response.

“I thought about going on a good long run to try and get rid of my nervous energy,” he huffed a self-deprecating laugh.

“Did you?” Remus asked smirking.

“No,” Sirius barked in a laugh, “was too busy rehanging my clothes.”

They’d arrived at the car and Remus turned to Sirius, chuckling.

Apart from the brief brush of fingers when Remus had handed over the flowers and that shoulder brush they hadn’t touched yet – the energy between them was too static – charged like it would shock them if one of them dared make a move. But now Remus stood in front of Sirius by his car and he realized he was raising his hand to tuck a strand of silken black hair behind his ear without needing to think about it. As his fingertips brushed Sirius’s temple, he closed his eyes and leaned into the touch slightly. When Remus had tucked the offending lock into place, he trailed his hand down the skin of his neck before resting his hand at the base of Sirius’s neck softly. Then it was the most natural thing to lean down and brush his lips against Sirius’s forehead, taking the opportunity to inhale the spicy scent of his aftershave and the musk of his hair products. When he pulled away it was to find Sirius blinking up at him as if he was in a daze.

“I’m not going to bother telling you not to be nervous, because it would be hypocritical in the extreme,” he smirked down and Sirius returned the expression, a cheeky glint breaking through the haze.
“I will tell you, though, that when Teddy found out I was seeing you again tonight – he overheard me talking to Tonks – he was very indignant that he wasn’t coming too. You’ve already won over your greatest adversary,” he shrugged casually.

“Excuse me, but I got along great with Teddy,” he defended, “Plus, that kid adores you, he wouldn’t go out his way to make anything difficult for you,” Sirius laughed.

“Yeah, but he’s also endearingly protective,” Remus couldn’t help the soft smile that made it onto his features as they talked about his son, “And he warmed to you immediately,” he confirmed.

“Yeah well, I’m easy to warm to,” Sirius scrunched his nose in flirtation and stepped infinitesimally closer, tilting his head cheekily. Remus breathed a laugh and his hand slipped from Sirius’s neck, down his shoulder and down to grasp his hand before pulling him in for an actual kiss.

***

They’d made it to the bowling alley. Just. The kiss by the car had opened the floodgates, and before he knew it, Remus found himself pressed against the door of his car, with Sirius pressing their bodies together as they snogged themselves senseless.

Sirius kissed with an intensity that was totally at odds with how he had first appeared when Remus had met him at work.

Remus’s first impression of Sirius had been of a slightly shy, sweet guy that looked like he’d been molded by some deity with a printout image of everything Remus wanted in a man. He’d taken a few days to warm up to chatting to Remus, and the bits and pieces Remus had managed to glean from the likes of James and Mary about him initially described him as private and introspective. It hadn’t taken too long for that veneer to show cracks. As he became more comfortable in the office, Remus had noticed Sirius become more and more confident in their interactions. James started having hilarious stories about Sirius from their bus trips in to the office together and the odd beer and rugby night they’d spent. Mary began to wax lyrical about Sirius’s dramatic side, telling Remus about his reenactment of difficult calls and even recounting a day he pranked her by calling in on a quiet day and pretending to be a customer to mess with her. And he’d even begun to flirt with Remus – fleetingly, and carefully; -it was an office after all- going on long diatribes about the hikes he went on and teasing Remus for his obsession with watching tennis and ruining a pair of shoes every week playing golf.

But kissing Sirius was like feeling all of those fun, dramatic and flirtatious sides exploding outwards like you were caught in some kind of supernova. He was everywhere, his hands gripping, tugging and squeezing mercilessly while his mouth and tongue gave and took pleasure like he was simultaneously filling and overflowing from his own cup.

And Remus’s cup had been empty for so long. He wanted to drink. He wanted to drink deeply.

When they’d broken apart by his car and Remus had looked down at Sirius’s kiss bruised and parted lips and glassy gaze, he’d had a glimpse of what it might be like to make love to him. A sneak peak of what Sirius might look like taken apart by someone who’d later take the time to put him back together again. Remus wanted to be that person so badly it hurt.

He was thinking about it then as he watched Sirius make his way over to their seats, a drink in each hand as he meandered over from the bar. He’d insisted on getting them drinks since Remus had firmly put his foot down about paying for bowling and dinner later, and he had relented at the almost-pout that Sirius had put on when they had argued briefly in the car on the way over. He knew it was largely put on, especially since his mouth was still tingling from the way Sirius had bitten down on his lower lip while they kissed just before. He knew that, but something had told him that Sirius thought it was important that he reciprocated on this date to even out the power balance. And since Remus’s goal on this date was to show that he was worthy of Sirius’s trust he decided to let it go.

But when Sirius made his way back to Remus where he sat in front of their lane, all Remus could think was how he wanted to hold Sirius so tightly he’d never feel alone in anything again because he’d have marks to remind him that someone was on his side. When Sirius smirked at him as he sat and handed Remus his drink, he wanted to see his fingers in his mouth and feel his teeth against his neck. He took a deep drink of his beer and focused on the cold condensation of the bottle to ground him. When Sirius sat, his thigh brushed Remus’s and even with two layers of fabric between them, Remus could feel the heat come off him in waves.

When he looked up, Sirius was looking at their lane in calculation.

“It’s not going to hurt you,” Remus quipped as Sirius’s brow furrowed in thought.

“Maybe not physically, but my ego is still recovering from the damage these lanes did to it after the last time.”

“You got a strike last time!”

“Only because I was scared shitless at accidentally outing myself to my colleagues and didn’t pay a single lick of attention to what I was doing.”

Remus snorted at that and Sirius flicked him a wry smile in response.

“You did so well because you weren’t over thinking it,” Remus explained, leaning forward in his seat next to Sirius’s, the motion bringing their thighs so that they were flush together. He took a breath and tried to think about bowling, “When you hike, you don’t think about walking, right?”

“No…” Sirius responded in a low, dubious tone that belay the flush of pink over his cheeks at Remus’s proximity. Remus smiled knowingly.

“Right, well, what if you tried to picture the pins being knocked over rather than thinking about your swing and we can go from there?”

Sirius gave him a look that said he didn’t think it was going to make any difference before he got up and walked to the ball rack. He selected a medium weight option, fitted his fingers into the holes and picked it up. Then he walked slightly gingerly towards the lane, paused, and seemed to focus himself before crouching slightly, swinging the ball back, and sending it careening down the lane.

The ball went mostly straight – it didn’t veer off into the gutters immediately anyway, but it did gradually move diagonally as it approached the pins so that only the three pins on the far-left side of the lane were hit and fell.

Sirius turned back expectantly with a resigned and slightly self-deprecating smile. Remus raised his brows and smirked.

“Not bad for a first try?” He tried.

Sirius rolled his eyes and came to sit back down as Remus stood.

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied good naturedly, “Show me how it’s done then?”

Remus inclined his head in acquiescence and turned to the ball rack.

“The first thing,” he started, selecting a heavy ball and fitting it onto his fingers, “Is that I reckon you could probably go heavier,” he raised the ball in illustration to Sirius who sat leaning his forearms on his knees while he watched.

“More momentum,” he explained dropping the ball to his side and walking to the lane. Before he did the run up, he turned to Sirius, “think of it like driving,” he went on, “When you drive, you don’t think about staying in the lines, you focus on what’s ahead of you and aim without thinking about it, right?”

“I can’t drive,” Sirius responded with an amused smirk. Remus turned back to him in surprise.

“Really?” He asked curiously.

“Never had the opportunity,” he replied with a shrug and a crooked smile.

Remus nodded before moving on, noting that information for later.

“Don’t be afraid of throwing the ball too hard – the lanes are designed to take the hit,” he explained, “I promise you can’t overdo it.”

Then he turned toward the lane, ran up to the line, swung the ball back and released it, sending it rocketing towards the pins, hitting squarely in the center and sending the pins scattering into the well behind. He smiled a small smile to himself as he watched, before he straightened and turned to Sirius, expecting to see a smirk or sarcastic clapping.

Instead, Sirius sat, cradling his chin in his hand as he watched, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. His eyes were fixed on Remus, and he got the sense that Sirius hadn’t even seen the strike based on the glazed expression. When Remus cocked his head at him, he seemed to come to himself, straightening and shaking himself slightly as he cleared his throat.

“Your turn?” Remus asked biting the inside of his cheek to top smiling at his expense.

Sirius stood and walked to the rack with a sheepish expression. Remus didn’t sit back down, but rather stood to the side, watching while Sirius selected a heavy ball this time, flicking a confirming look up to Remus. Remus nodded once while Sirius walked towards the lane with a determined look. He seemed to steel himself, twisted his stance and took his turn with similar results.

“Do you know you twist your hips when you take your shot?” Remus asked, going over to the rack and picking up a ball. He stopped in front of the lane where Sirius was still standing, listening intently.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, your swing not being straight is linked to your hips doing their own thing as well,” he said this with a good attempt at a straight face, but one look at Sirius doing his best not to snort with laughter was the end of that. He dropped the ball to hang at his side and covered his face with his free hand, feeling his cheeks go hot and the mirth bubbling up of its own accord. He could hear Sirius sniggering too, and looked up to find him also covering his face as he laughed.

When he dropped his hands he continued to look at Remus with such affection and amusement that it almost threw Remus off his shot. He found himself holding the ball in front of his chest, closing his eyes and breathing deeply to try and focus, but he was so aware that Sirius was standing just to his side that when he took his shot, it veered wide and missed all of the pins.

“Was that you demonstrating what not to do, or…?”

Remus snorted at that and shrugged good naturedly, “maybe I was trying to put myself in your shoes?”

“Oh yes, and what’s your feedback?”

“That distractions seem to do the opposite for me than they do for you,” he smiled as Sirius ambled to the rack and picked up a ball.

Sirius stopped at the lane and shuffled his feet, initially squaring his hips, only to do his run up and immediately twist. He stopped short when he noticed what was happening and turned side on – obviously hoping the opposite would happen if he started that way. He furrowed his brow in frustration as he squared his hips again.

“It’s like I’ve suddenly forgotten how to stand,” he huffed incredulously.

“Here…” Remus moved towards him, before placing his hands gently on either side of Sirius’s hips, tilting them from being slightly side facing to facing the lane straight on.

Sirius froze and for a moment Remus thought he had fucked up. He thought for sure he had crossed a physical boundary. He thought to the weekend before when he’d held Sirius in his lap and cursed himself for thinking it gave him permission to hold him with the same level of familiarity. The situations were different – they were in public! Sirius was frustrated and Remus had defaulted to physical guidance; some combination of how he’d show Teddy to do the same thing and his aching need to touch Sirius.

He was about to snatch his hands away when Sirius’s posture changed. His shoulders relaxed and he arched his back ever-so-slightly as his head dropped backwards so that it rested on Remus’s shoulder as he melted into the touch. It was such a trusting little action that Remus felt a lump of emotion stuck in his throat and he shuddered against Sirius’s back, now flush against his front.

God.

The dropping of a bowling ball somewhere woke them up and Remus reluctantly dropped his hands from Sirius as he leaned his head forward with his eyes closed – looking for all the world like a man bowing his head in prayer. Then he watched as Sirius squirmed slightly even as Remus sat and tugged inconspicuously at his own trousers to try and adjust the suddenly very sensitive organ lying hard against his trouser leg. He snorted softly to himself, praying for the strength to get through their plans for the evening without committing acts of public indecency.

When Sirius took his shot, it was with the same lithe grace as usual, but with a new fluidity and confidence that he’d only seen from him that night they’d all gone bowling. Remus had almost forgotten how hot it was when Sirius just let go.

As suspected, with his mind occupied on other things – Remus thought he’d pay a pretty penny to know what occupied his thoughts – Sirius’s aim was true and the bowling ball shot down the lane like a bat out of hell, hit true, and sent the pins flying. He turned to Remus with a look of happy disbelief. Remus smiled at him with a little clap.

He didn’t sit back down when Remus stood for his turn, instead watching Remus walk towards him with an expression that gradually morphed from delight into something else. Remus turned to the bowling rack feeling slightly desperate.

“I think it was your technique that made the difference there,” said a low voice to his side. Remus looked down and encountered Sirius’s lethal smirk. He swallowed.

“Yeah? So, you were thinking about your stance when you took your shot?” he asked with a raised brow.

“Nope,” He replied, popping the p to punctuate the word, “not the technique I was thinking of,” he drawled, stalking away from Remus to sit by their drinks with a wink over his shoulder. Remus blinked after him blankly, suddenly at a loss as to where he was, what he was doing and why.

***

Remus sat at the corner booth seat he had asked for in the reservation he’d made for the evening. They’d just been seated and Sirius had excused himself to the bathroom for a moment.

The rest of bowling had straddled the line of fun and harrowing in equal measure. Fun because Remus liked sports and Sirius clearly appreciated banter and the opportunity not to take himself too seriously. Harrowing because Sirius had clearly also decided he had the upper hand this evening, and spent the rest of their game doing everything in his power to fluster Remus to within an inch of his life.

It had started with that filthy wink and double entendre at the ball rack, and it had continued with Sirius finding any excuse he could to brush Remus’s arm or touch the small of his back on the way to the rack for his turn. Remus had finally been made aware that Sirius knew exactly the effect he was having on Remus when he’d watched him hold the ball he’d picked for his last turn, weighing it between his hands consideringly. Sirius had cocked his head to the side in thought, then looked up at Remus, locking eyes with him from where he was sitting, before slipping his fingers into the holes on the surface of the ball, his mouth curling upwards slowly – deliberately – and licking his lower lip before turning and sauntering to the lane for his shot. Remus was still trying to figure out how it had been so hot when if anyone else had done it he would have wet himself laughing at the ridiculously obvious flirting.

Remus would have his revenge though, because he’d decided that two could play that game.

When they were seated, Sirius had been in conversation with the waitress who had clearly been flirting with him, asking pretty obviously whether their wives were joining them later, her eyes darting to Sirius’s bare ring finger. Before Sirius could deflect, confirm or deny, Remus had extended his leg under the table across to where Sirius was sitting, and slid his foot up Sirius’s leg, all the way up to his knee before he retracted his limb, causing Sirius to break off mid-sentence and go beetroot red. Remus took the opportunity of causing Sirius to glitch out to reach forward, take Sirius’s hand in his and bring it to his mouth and kiss his knuckles and inform the gawking waitress that in fact, no one else would be joining them later.

That was why Sirius had excused himself to go to the bathroom, holding his jacket over his arm strategically to cover his crotch and muttering something about splashing his face in cold water.

He’d been gone for so long that Remus was beginning to worry that he’d gone too far and that Sirius might be making a run for it. Just as he was about to get up and go and investigate, Sirius dropped into the booth next to him instead of across from him where he’d initially been seated and picked up a menu.

“Have you been here before?” he asked, his voice steadier and the tendrils around his face only slightly damp.

“I came here with Tonks and Fleur for their rehearsal dinner,” Remus responded, relieved that Sirius hadn’t done a runner.

“My word, Lupin,” Sirius gasped with that mischievous sparkle in his silver eyes, “it’s only the first date! Trying to tell me something?”

Remus felt himself flush.

Shit, Sirius 3, Remus 1, he needed to catch up.

“Only that they serve incredible pork belly here and I liked the ambience for a first date” he replied leaning in slightly and bumping Sirius’s shoulder again as he smiled.

“Is that what you’re having then?” Sirius asked, turning back to the menu, Remus took the gap to slip his hand onto Sirius’s thigh and watched as he swallowed deliberately, his eyes staying resolutely on the food offerings. His smile grew.

Sirius 3, Remus 2. He was catching up now.

“I think so,” Remus responded, keeping his tone light and unaffected even as he felt Sirius’s thigh twitch under his hand, “what about you?”

“I was looking at the stuffed peppers,” Sirius said, his voice wavering only slightly, so that you had to be listening to hear it. Remus was listening.

“But there are a few things that look pretty good,” he bit his lower lip and met Remus’s gaze for the first time since he’d touched his leg, his pupils blown wide, “Would you be open to getting a few smaller dishes and sharing?”

“I can work with that,” he confirmed in a low voice, deliberately squeezing Sirius’s thigh, holding eye contact.

Their moment was interrupted by the flirty waitress, now considerably less peppy (or flirty) to see them sitting so cozily in the booth. They ordered wine and a selection of tapas, and when the food came, they continued to sit close, sneaking touches and fresh opportunities to fluster each other while they ate.

It was so much fun that Remus felt himself thinking about what it could feel like to do this more often. If this went well, and they started spending time together, or (Remus tried not to get too ahead of himself) if they had a relationship, would they have a regular date night like this scheduled? Or would they get enough of each other just doing life together?

He thought that both sounded heaven. He loved the idea of having time set aside just for them – where they put themselves into fresh environments to get to know sides of each other they might not know about otherwise. He liked the idea of novelty in his life and the prospect of getting to flirt with Sirius across different bars and restaurants. But he also loved the possibility that if tonight went well, and successive dates followed suit, that he could someday be in the position to get to know the Sirius who sat at his coffee table cutting recipes out of magazines and watched Masterchef after his workday. He loved the idea that he could one day be such a regular fixture in Sirius’s life that Sirius might buy a real vase for the flowers that Remus brought him everytime he passed the vendor and thought of him. He wanted to be there to see Sirius get comfortable in his flat – to watch him agonize over the throw cushions he got to match the knitted throw and see his collections of photos over his heater grow. He wanted to be in those photos, and know that he’d taken others. He wanted to meet Regulus and watch Sirius get to know Teddy. Would Sirius make a good step dad?

And wasn’t he supposed to be trying not to get ahead of himself while he was at it?

When the dessert menu came, Remus was delighted that Sirius nodded enthusiastically at the waitress when she offered them the special – a chocolate mousse and ganache concoction that sounded perfectly sinful – and was even more delighted when the waitress left and he leaned into his side, warm from the wine and atmosphere.

He extended his arm around Sirius’s shoulders and he leaned back against his shoulder, turning toward Remus with a cheeky smile.

“Will you come to mine after this?”

Remus took in the moment, with the soft lighting touching Sirius’s cheeks oh-so perfectly, and the contentment that some fun, good food and wine had left lingering in his expression. He wanted to make him look like this all the time.

“Okay, yeah,” He managed to get out, conscious of the husky note in his tone.

Sirius’s grin in response was blinding and Remus felt himself blush.

“I have Teddy tomorrow afternoon through to Sunday night, but as long as I’m home by lunch it’ll be fine.”

“Excellent,” Sirius responded, his smile turning into a smirk just as their dessert arrived with two spoons. Neither could stand to look away from the other for longer than it took to acknowledge her service with a quick ‘thanks!’.They broke their little embrace to pick up their spoons, but even then, they both kept sneaking little looks at each other out their peripherals.

The thing about Remus was that he only had a few great vices in his life. And anything chocolate was his absolute weakness. He picked up his spoon and took his first bite, and it wasn’t like he forgot he was on a date, exactly, but more like he’d tasted the food equivalent of desire. The mousse was smooth and airy and the ganache was rich and gooey. There was a layer of raspberry brownie supporting the structure of the dessert and white chocolate artfully drizzled over the whole thing. As if the night couldn’t get any better, some chef had somehow managed to make all Remus’s chocolate dreams come true.

His moment with the chocolate concoction on his spoon was interrupted (or enhanced depending how you looked at it) by the feeling of Sirius pressing into his side again, leaning into his space so closely that he could feel his breath on his ear. The feeling was heady and he found himself bombarded with sensation from every side. He swallowed his mouthful and fluttered his eyes open as Sirius slipped his hand onto Remus’s thigh. He turned his head and locked eyes with the silver pair already looking at him. Then he used his spoon to scoop another mouthful of the dessert and offered it to Sirius with a quirked brow. He leaned forward and closed his mouth over the bowl of the spoon and sucked off the mousse, before his eyes shuddered shut in ecstasy. Remus used the opportunity while Sirius was having his own chocolate induced religious experience to take his chin between his fingers, pull him closer, and take his lips in his.

Sirius’s ecstatic expression at the chocolate morphed into a noise of surprised appreciation as he kissed Remus back, his hand tightening on Remus’s thigh as his other slipped into the curls at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer. Remus responded by fisting his hand right in the soft knit of Sirius’s jumper while his right circled his waist and all but pulled him into his lap. The kiss was languid and full of promise as it was the decadent flavor of chocolate. Sirius wasted no time in opening his mouth to Remus and using his tongue to reach the furthest corners of his mouth possible, searching for every scrap of flavor he had to offer. As Sirius took the reins with his tongue, Remus took them with his hands, unclenching the hand holding the jumper and discreetly slipping it under the fabric to touch the warm, soft skin underneath. Sirius shivered as he did, and Remus wasn’t able to stop his groan in response. Emboldened, Sirius’s thumb began to make circles against Remus’s inner thigh, and if Remus had been conscious enough to be concerned, he’d have been grateful that he’d reserved this table in the restaurant – away from prying eyes as Sirius’s hand crept higher, towards where Remus’s erection was begging for attention.

Remus broke the kiss and pressed his face into the crook of Sirius’s neck as his finger brushed his denim covered cock, stifling his hissed in breath in the silken, fragrant skin under Sirius’s ear. He panted as Sirius boldly began to palm his length, humming in appreciation when Remus began to kiss at the connect between neck and ear.

“We need to get the fuck out of here,” he heard Sirius pant, “I am too old to be pulling you off in a restaurant booth.”

“Shit, yeah…” Remus whined, “I have a kid – I can’t be charged with public indecency,” Remus groaned as neither of them made any moves to stop feeling the other up.

It was the thought of getting to somewhere where this could continue that finally snapped Remus to. He disconnected his lips from Sirius’s pulse point, pressed one last, desperate kiss to his lips before he released the death grip that he had around Sirius’s waist and shuffled them toward the opening of the booth.

Before they stood, Sirius turned to Remus, a lust riddled look in his eye and a goofy grin on his face, and ran his hands through Remus’s hair, trying to flatten the strands that he’d mussed. Remus returned the favor, straightening Sirius’s jumper for him and tucking a strand of hair behind his ear before handing him his jacket and swiping a stray bit of chocolate from the corner of his mouth.

They both stood, but before he led Sirius to the bar to settle the bill, he swiped one last mouthful of their forgotten pudding to go.

***

All things considered; they made it back to Sirius’s in a relatively civilized manor. The walk in the freezing air to Remus’s car had done them both good, even if the host had given their chapped lips and flushed cheeks one look and sent them on their way with a wink. When they got to the car, Sirius had taken custody of the aux cord and inexplicably chosen Enya for their drive home.

When questioned about this, Sirius had sheepishly explained that when he needed to center himself or needed help calming down this was his go to. This had sparked a spirited conversation where Remus had countered that Hozier was his go to for calming purposes, and Sirius had argued that Hozier’s music was far too sexy to be considered calming, especially in their current situation.

When Sirius had unlocked his door, there was brief interlude where he’d busied himself turning on the gas heater and shutting his curtains to keep the warmth in, and then they had found themselves standing in the living room, neither quite knowing who would make the first move.

Eventually the Englishman in Sirius had won out.

“Can I make you some tea?”

“That would be lovely, thank you,” Remus replied, following Sirius to his kitchen with a sheepish smirk.

He seated himself at the counter while Sirius busied himself with cups and teabags with his back to Remus, and he just had to make sure.

“I don’t have to stay, Sirius.”

He turned in surprise, looking toward Remus like he had started to speak Russian out of nowhere. He quirked a brow in question.

“I just mean that if you’re not comfortable-”

“Do you want to stay?” Sirius interrupted, still looking at Remus like he’d grown another head.

“If you want me to,” Remus said nodding, thinking of how Sirius had asked a similar question last weekend when Remus’s kid had asked him to come to the zoo.

“I do,” Sirius responded with a bemused smile.

“Okay,” Remus said huskily, “I just don’t want you to think there’s any obligation after dinner and dessert to-”

“You’re worried I think you’re pushing your luck?” Sirius asked baldly, moving to the fridge and retrieving the milk.

“I’m worried you think that you have to reciprocate even if you’re not comfortable.”

Sirius nodded, bringing their cups to the counter and placing one in front of Remus.

“Okay” he nodded thoughtfully, “let’s talk about it then.”

Remus blinked at him in surprise, but hastened to nod, “okay,”

“Do you want to sleep with me?” Sirius asked, a neutral expression on his face.

Remus took a sip of tea to moisten his throat and then replied, “definitely.”

“Good, I want to sleep with you too,” Sirius said with a little smile that made Remus worried he was about to pass out, “so why are you worried?”

Remus took another sip to give himself a moment to think.

“It’s not that I think you don’t know your own mind,” he started, “a part of me is worried that you think I expect it after the date – I don’t, by the way, I very much wanted to see you even if you didn’t want to sleep with me-” he hurried to clarify and watched Sirius’s smile grow warm as he watched Remus ramble, “I caught some hesitation from you last week – not just when we were making out on the couch, but when I offered you a place to stay and a lift out of the rain – And I don’t want you to think that any of that was just for the promise of sex. I would have done that anyway,” he took a breath and Sirius seemed to content to let him gather the next part of his speech and waited for him to continue, sipping his tea all the while.

“I guess I want you to know that I don’t do this very often anymore.”

“Did you used to?” Sirius asked curiously.

“I had my season of sluttiness,” Remus smiled sheepishly into his cup of tea to avoid looking at the amused, roguish smile Sirius was directing at him, “but I guess I just want this to be different. I know we don’t know each other that well, but-”

“I know you like sports,” Sirius interrupted, looking at Remus meaningfully. He looked back in confusion.

“You know I like to hike and cook,” he went on, “I know you like chocolate desserts and fancy Mediterranean tapas restaurants.”

“You know I left home because I’m gay, and that I have a little brother in rehab,” he was walking around the kitchen island now to where Remus was sitting, entranced at his approach.

“If you want to know more, then I can tell you that most mornings I don’t get up in time to have both a shower and breakfast, so most days I have my first meal during my 15, and I positively detest soup – hot, savory smoothies – Belgh,” he kept going with a playful grimace at the end.

He stopped in front of Remus, standing just shy of between his legs as he went on, “I know you have an excellent kid who shares everything from his cereal to his time with his dad with virtual strangers, and you know I have nightmares sometimes and shake so badly I can’t sleep without someone to hold me,” he cocked his head and smiled softly at Remus.

“I know how you take your tea, and that you take the bus even when it’s less convenient than driving because you care about the environment…” he went on, holding eye contact all the while.

“I’d say we’re well on our way to knowing each other rather well, so can you trust me when I tell you that I know you’re not the kind of man to coerce me into sex with dinner and a fun activity, just like I know you weren’t gunning for that when you rescued me from a near biblical flood and put me up for the weekend. You’re a good man,” his warm expression spread into a smirk that Remus felt mirrored on his own face before he concluded his points.

“And I want to you to take me to bed, and fuck me into my mattress so hard that I forget my own name.”

And, well maybe it really was that simple.

Remus swallowed audibly and Sirius tracked the movement before Remus reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him between his legs with a snap. He stood abruptly and Sirius’s proximity meant that standing, Remus could feel all of Sirius from calf to chest. He gripped Sirius by the belt loops and held him firmly against him as he leaned down to kiss him. Sirius responded instantly, looping his arms around Remus’s neck and arching into his chest as Remus walked them back from the counter.

“where’s-”

“The hall…” Sirius responded against Remus’s lips before he broke away, taking one of Remus’s hands and pulling him behind as he hurried to his room. Remus didn’t hesitate. He looped his arms around Sirius from behind and buried his nose in his neck, lapping at the skin with renewed enthusiasm and trusting Sirius to guide them. They stumbled down the hallway, and Remus vaguely registered his feet moving from wood laminate to carpet as they crossed the threshold of the room when Sirius froze.

“Shit.”

Confused and alarmed at the change in Sirius’s tone, Remus detached his lips from Sirius’s neck and looked over his shoulder into the recently lit bedroom Sirius had led them to. Then he also froze.
Because starting at their feet where they stood by the door, lay a trail of red rose petals leading to the bed. On the bed itself, the petals formed am image of an artfully laid out, detail perfect flower petal penis.

“I swear to God I did not do this,” Sirius hurried to explain, turning in Remus’s arms to look at him in panic, “I promise! It must have been James – I gave him a copy of my key after last weekend and he must have found out that we were going out tonight and this is clearly his idea of a joke – Jesus, it has a fucking foreskin and everything…”

But Remus was shaking. It started deep in his belly, and bubbled out of him until he was sniggering silently, helpless with mirth until he had no choice but to tip his head forward until it rested on Sirius’s shoulder. Eventually Sirius joined him, quivering underneath him as he laughed, and bringing his arms around Remus to hold his head to his shoulder as he buried his forehead in Remus’s. They heaved and shook with laughter until finally Remus raised his head and looked down at Sirius fondly, as he looked up with an equally warm expression, eyes darting over Remus’s face as he wiped his own tears and calmed slightly.

“As much as the rose-penis is a nice touch, Roses unfortunately give me hay-fever,” finally spoke, his voice rich with residual laughter, “Do you have a spare room?”

“I do,” Sirius confirmed with a bark of laughter, “I’ll be one sec,” he said as he exited Remus’s grip and darted into his room, opening the top drawer of his bedside and extracting a box of condoms and a bottle of lube, pocketing them.

“This way,” he squeezed past Remus, still in the doorway giggling at James’s prank. He looped his fingers through Remus’s Belt, and walked backward, pulling Remus into the room across from his, which had a far more conventional set up, with flat pack bedsides and tall-boy drawers and no floral genital arrangements in sight.

As Sirius tugged him through the door Remus shut it behind him and locked the door, not putting it past James to still be in the flat, hiding in wait to spring on them at any inopportune moment. They had been way-laid long enough and Remus wasn’t letting anything else distract them this time. Sirius’s hum of approval as he flicked the lock said that he quite agreed. He hurried to the bedside, deposited their supplies and switched on the bedside light, which lit the room in that kind of warm low lighting that makes everything seem soft, then he returned to Remus where he stood watching, the pool of desire beginning to run molten as he did so.

When Sirius stood before him then, Remus paused and lifted his hand, tracing the line of Sirius’s brow to cheekbone to jaw where the light kissed him. Sirius took the hand tracing his features and held it to his cheek, leaning into the touch and turning his head to kiss Remus’s palm. Then he surprised Remus, taking Remus’s thumb and maneuvering it into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the digit suggestively. Remus stepped closer and began to press slow kisses against his jaw while his other hand worked open the top button of his jeans and pausing for a moment with a raised brow, which Sirius responded to with a nod before he slid his hand in under his jeans and boxers, and finally touched him.

Sirius’s knees buckled and Remus removed his thumb from his mouth to hold him steady around the waist as he worked his hand around him while Sirius panted into his neck. Abruptly, Sirius seemed to regain his balance and started to paw at the buttons of Remus’s shirt. Remus paused what he was doing beneath Sirius’s jeans and helped him undo the buttons, working his way up from the hem as Sirius worked his way down from the collar while her mouthed at his jaw from underneath. When they met in the middle, Sirius pushed the article from Remus’s shoulders and trailed his fingers down the skin of his chest.

Remus wasn’t exactly self-conscious about the scars from his accident, but he was aware of them more readily when he was in situations like this. He never saw so clearly how his accident had marked him than when he presented the evidence to another person like this. The reactions tended to vary. Some people thought they made him seem edgy and dangerous; others averted their eyes like it made them uncomfortable. Sirius didn’t say anything when he saw them. Just traced them with his finger after looking up at Remus to check he was alright with it, smiled softly, and then removed his own jumper before Remus could register it was happening.

Then he saw why Sirius hadn’t said anything. Sirius had scars of his own, but unlike Remus, they were not haphazard and jagged, rather they were methodical and deliberate. On the outside of his bicep lay fine lines of scarring, maybe a few millimeters apart. There were also some on the fleshy part of his peck muscle, also laid out horizontally, and spaced out with care. They were the mark of someone who had suffered greatly. Of someone who’s pain had gone so deeply that he’d felt he had no other choice but to express it physically – to release it. Remus swallowed, raising his own hand to touch the scars, noting that Sirius was watching him closely as he did so.

He had no words to punctuate it, or express his sadness at what Sirius had gone through. He couldn’t phrase the anger at the people who had inflicted such emotional and psychological pain on a child, or vocalize the comfort he yearned to give him. And he knew Sirius hated when people pitied him. So, he didn’t try to say anything, instead slipping hand to the small of Sirius’s back and pressing him closer, all the while leaning in for a kiss so deep, he hoped it conveyed it all.

Sirius kissed back with equal intensity, the unspoken messages flowing between them like the movement of their tongues and the shared saliva between them

“I’m glad you’re still here – still alive,”

“I wish you never had to suffer,”

“I wish I could take your pain away – make it so it never happened,”

“You are no less to me like this than you were before I saw and knew,”

Sirius walked them to the bed, and Remus sat back on the mattress when the backs of his knees hit the soft surface. He sat with Sirius between his legs, tilting his head up and Sirius continued to kiss him leaning down and cradling his jaw. Then he began to tug off Sirius’s jeans, working them down over his hips until they passed over the roundness of his arse and revealed the hard appendage straining under his boxer briefs. He took Sirius’s hips between his hands and looked up at the ethereal visage looking down on him like some kind of angel blinking down in a combination of disbelief, desire and tenderness.

“Okay if I-”

“Yes, please, take them off…” came the urgent, breathy response and Remus took a second to smirk up at the desperateness of his assent. Then he tugged at the elastic of the shorts and was betrayed by his own trembling fingers against Sirius’s abdomen. He laughed at himself, leaning forward to rest his head against the soft skin above the waistline, trying to collect himself.

Get it together Lupin…

“Need some help down there?” he heard teased above him as his abdomen quivered against Remus’s forehead and hands came around his neck to rest at his nape stroking his curls softly.

“Hush, you – I’m just taking a moment…” He chided, smiling despite himself against Sirius. Then he bent his head slightly and mouthed over the line of Sirius’s clothed cock, one hand slipping between his legs to cup his balls and rolling them in his palm. Sirius gasped and the soft hands at his nape turned into firm grip in his hair and on his shoulder to steady himself as Remus laved his tongue over the fabric covered tip, soaking it with saliva.

Remus smirked to himself.

Sirius 3, Remus 3.

He hooked his thumbs in the elastic of Sirius’s underwear and finally tugged it down, freeing Sirius from his confines and earning a hiss from above as the pressure against him was released. Then Remus took him in his hand and tugged gently over the satin-y skin of Sirius’s cock. He looked up, desperate not to miss a second of how Sirius was responding and was rewarded with seeing the exact moment Sirius moaned – his mouth slack and his eyes shut in pleasure and his hands tightened at the base of Remus’s neck.

He maintained his lock on Sirius’s face as he leaned in and licked a strip along the vein on the underside of Sirius’s length, swirled his tongue over the split tip leaking a bead of precome, and then dipped his head, swallowing him down almost immediately.

“F-fuck!” Sirius yelled, taken by surprise and tugging on Remus’s curls.

Remus pulled off with an obscene pop, “okay?”

“Y-yes, just – holy fuck, Remus…”

Remus shot him a filthy smirk and resumed his work.

He got lost in it – ecstatic at finally being able to do this – loving the weight on his tongue and the scent of Sirius at the root when he took his length down the back of his throat and buried his nose in the curls between his legs. He ran his hands from his hips to Sirius’s arse, pressing himself closer and holding Sirius as he swallowed against the tip until the lack of air caused him to surface, gasping and coughing as he pulled off. Sirius bucked his hips ever-so slightly and then muttered a “shit, sorry…” as he loosened his grip on Remus’s shoulders.

Remus just shook his head and dove back, putting pressure on the plush roundness of his arse cheeks, encouraging him to thrust; to fuck his face as hard as he liked. Sirius took the hint at length, rocking his hips slowly at first, and then with increasing speed when Remus hummed with approval.

When his abdomen was quivering for quite a different reason Sirius began to tap Remus’s shoulder insistently making little noises which Remus interpreted as his cue to stop. He pulled off with a ragged breath and Sirius gasped, grabbing himself tightly at the root of his cock to stop from coming. Remus held his hips gently massaging the skin of his thighs while he waited for Sirius to indicate he was ready to continue. It didn’t take long until Sirius was hurredly shucking his pants now pooled around his ankles and complaining that Remus was wearing far too many clothes.

“I.. was busy…” Remus protested, his voice rasping slightly and then yelping slightly when Sirius pushed him back so that he was lying on the bed, then crawled up to straddle his lap, and clumsily unbuckling his pants for him before shoving his hand into Remus’s boxers and palming his length with an appreciative little noise. He was desperately trying to tug Remus’s jeans off when Remus finally decided to help. He surged up, and flipped them over so that he was above Sirius and Sirius was blinking up with a delighted little laugh at being thrown around.

He stood away from him and kicked off his pants and then lunged between Sirius’s slightly spread legs and dove down to press increasingly urgent kisses against Sirius’s neck, chest and abdomen.

“You want me to fuck you into the mattress?” He heard himself ask in a slightly gravelly tone. Sirius moaned and nodded helplessly. Remus smirked and stroked himself finally, taking in Sirius splayed out in front of him, underneath him – just for him. He felt ridiculously protective – possessive even – and leaned in for a languid kiss. Sirius batted his hands away from his cock and took it in his instead, stroking it reverently, looking for all the world like he never wanted to do anything else.

“How do you want me?” Remus asked in a slightly strangled voice as Sirius continued to work him over. Sirius smiled a slow filthy smile.

“Want to see you,” he breathed “just like this.”

Remus didn’t recognize the noise he made in his throat at the intimacy of the request and gently batted Sirius’s hand away so he didn’t finish before they’d even begun. Without moving from his position kneeling over Sirius he leaned over and took a condom from the box and brought the bottle of lube closer. Setting the condom aside for later, he coated his fingers in the slippery liquid and reached down, his eyes glued to Sirius’s face as he gently teased at his entrance.

He watched, fascinated at Sirius made a facial journey from surprised excitement, through tension and discomfort at the intrusion until he actively relaxed his body, the muscles of his abdomen going lithe and slack and the tight ring of his opening easing around Remus’s finger. As the digit slipped past the ring of muscle, he watched Sirius’s brow pinch and his mouth relax in a keen as he worked the finger in and out slowly, opening him up and preparing him for more.

Unable to help himself, he leaned in toward Sirius’s face as he added the second finger using his free hand to trace his features gently and peppering his face with kisses that made Sirius laugh into his mouth when he ended with his lips. Remus smiled down into his eyes and laughed as Sirius shut his eyes tightly, biting his lip hard.

“Remus you’re killing me…” he whined, still laughing even as he squirmed and Remus stifled his own chuckle in the crook of Sirius’s neck. He finally took pity, slipping a third finger in and crooking them just so, making him expel a punched-out sound as Remus pressed his prostate.

“The sounds you make, Sirius...” Remus groaned leaning down and biting lightly at Sirius’s nipples in quick succession, eliciting another moan.

“Can’t help it,” Sirius panted, bearing down on Remus’s hands as his fingers grappled, finishing the preparation, “Your fingers…”

“Just my fingers?” Remus growled against his chest slipping his fingers out, and smiling at the little whimper Sirius gave when he felt the loss.

“No - God no…” Sirius whimpered.

“What do you want, beautiful?” Remus asked in his ear, his voice a low purr.

“Y-your cock… please…” Sirius whined, “so empty…”

Remus groaned into his neck, and bit down on the flesh there.

He sat up and grabbed for the condom he’d left next to him, rolling it onto his length while Sirius watched, propped up on his elbows. He lubed himself up next and then dropped down into the same position as before. With one hand he held Sirius by the hips and with the other the lined himself up to his entrance, kissing him languidly the whole. Sirius reached down as well to help, his other hand on Remus’s back as he slid forward into Sirius tight warmth. As he bottomed out they broke the kiss, moaning deeply into each other’s mouths.

As he rocked forward, Sirius dug his fingers into the skin of Remus’s lower back, pressing and gripping in equal parts. Then, Remus began to experience an uncanny sense of dejavu – remembering the inundation of his senses in the restaurant. He felt similarly overwhelmed now, but now it was just Sirius. Sirius under and around him, Sirius’s smell in his nose and his taste in his mouth. Sirius’s nails scraping his back, and Sirius gasping his name into his ear. He no longer knew where he started and Sirius ended; surely they were always going to und up like this, so entwined, so stitched together that they became the same person.

As they moved together, Remus, in a distant corner of his brain was compelled to note just how well they fit. Physically, Sirius was perfect, well matched in size if a little smaller than Remus – just the right size to hold to him and devour. He was vibrant and energetic where Remus was quieter and more subtle. And their dynamic now, with Sirius panting ”please, God, Yes, Remus Right there - Fuck Remus, you feel so good,” while Remus reveled in the exchange of power, in the empowerment of Sirius’s trust in him to give as much as he took and never ask too much… It was a precious thing. A priceless thing. Enough to make Remus feel like a god among men. He filed that observation away, resolving to talk through this dynamic with Sirius later – make sure it was okay. But for the meantime…

“Oh Fuck!” Sirius cried out abruptly, “Jesus Fuck, Remus I’m so close – keep going please…”

“I’ve got you, Sirius, I’ve got you baby,” he panted leaning his forehead against Sirius’s as he picked up the pace of his thrusting, determined to get Sirius there and watching triumphantly as Sirius shut his eyes tightly and felt him clench around his length as he came abruptly, sending thick ropes of come between them as he sobbed his release with his head thrown back – his lovely hair spayed on the pillow behind him.

And oh he was so beautiful. So so beautiful…

He slowed his thrusts to a languid pace while Sirius recovered.

“Remus…” Sirius groaned, fluttering his eyes open as Remus watched, absolutely enchanted, “Remus… I…” he trailed off trying to pull him even closer. Remus groaned as he bottomed out again and Sirius smiled at him – a debauched, filthy smile. He wrapped his legs around Remus, spurring him on.

“What… Is it, baby?” Remus panted, picking up the pace again and watching carefully for any sign of discomfort from Sirius as he chased his own orgasm.

Sirius shook his head helplessly and instead pulled Remus closer, murmuring sweet nothings to Remus as he peaked his own climax with white hot burst of light behind his eyes as he came.

When he became conscious again, he was still on top of Sirius, being held close, Sirius’s hands stroking his damp curls softly as he surfaced.

“Oh my god…” he whispered, looking up when he felt Sirius laughing under him in response. He looked into the supremely relaxed expression, laughing helplessly and nodding like he seconded the sentiment.

“Oh my god,” Remus repeated, resting his head on Sirius’s chest, absolutely lost for words.

“Alright, darling?” Sirius asked amusement lacing his tone.

“Alright…” Remus chuckled, “Am I alright, he asks…,” he looked up at Sirius again, “I saw god just now, Sirius, that good enough for you?”

Sirius barked a laugh and shook with mirth under Remus as he giggled helplessly. Remus rolled away slightly, pulling out of Sirius with a small wince and leaning on his elbow to look down at the man still sniggering next to him. When Sirius finally calmed down, Remus was still watching, trying to identify the source of the squeezing in his heart and the tingling under his skin. He tried and failed to quash the thundering refrain in his mind that sounded an awful lot like “Mine. Mine. Mine.”

“I think I can confidently confirm I had my own religious experience there,” Sirius said simply, looking up at him with the softest of satisfied smiles and, oh, god, Remus was lost.

***

They eventually left the warm cocoon in the spare room after a good while spent catching their breath and blinking dopily at each other while they drew gentle patterns on each other’s skin with soft finger tips. It was Remus’s insatiable post-coital hunger that finally prompted it.

“I’m telling you, you were already ahead when I opened the door,” Sirius was arguing, Remus having divulged his points scoring system during their moment basking in the afterglow, “You look absolutely sinful in navy, it should actually be illegal,” he followed, twirling a finger in Remus’s chest hair with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“Me???” Remus huffed indignantly, “You and those jeans of yours should be held liable for damages!”

Sirius folded his arms on Remus’s chest and laid his head there, looking at Remus with a smug smile.

“You like those, huh?”

“And that jumper…” Remus trailed off with a dramatic sigh, earning him a laugh from the man looking up at him like he hung the stars, “all I’m saying is I had to work just as hard to even the scores,”

“Pffft, please,” Sirius huffed, “you brought me actual flowers?!” he protested in disbelief, “I was on the backfoot from the moment you handed me those lilies and you know it.”

“I think James gets at least a point on the board too,” Remus reflected with a smirk, remembering the rose-petal arrangement and chuckling, “took us both by surprise that one…”

“I honestly don’t know how he found out we were out tonight,” Sirius laughed incredulously, “I wanted to leave the news for Monday when I knew how it had gone.”

“Uhhh…” Remus started guiltily, “about that…”

“You told him??” Sirius asked, aghast, he poked Remus in the belly once, “you gave that pranking monster,” twice, “with no concept of personal boundaries,” three times, “ammunition to potentially humiliate me out of a shag??” he started tickling Remus mercilessly then, starting at the spot where he’d flinched after the first poke and digging his fingers into the ticklish flesh there, causing Remus to giggle and squirm desperately.

“Didn’t… See m-me… being p-put… off… Did you??” Remus wheezed, gasping for air around the tickle-induced mirth.

Sirius let up then, smiling and shrugging good-naturedly and punctuating his merciful cease-fire with a kiss that had absolutely zero chance of going further, because just then, Remus’s stomach growled embarrassingly loud. Sirius broke the kiss, sniggering lightly against Remus’s chest before he threw up another white flag;

“Shower and then a snack?”

***

Even Sirius’s snacks were top tier.

They stood shoulder to shoulder at the kitchen counter after their shower together while Sirius cut slices of ciabatta, buttered and toasted the slices in the oven while Remus mashed some avo, and tried to finely chop some tomatoes, garlic and cucumber to top the bruschetta. When the bread came out of the oven, Sirius spread the toppings on top and drizzled them with balsamic glaze while Remus watched.

“You know, in my books, a post-sex snack looks like a bag of Doritos and chocolate trumpet from the freezer,” he commented dryly. Sirius snorted.

“The Doritos aren’t a bad idea,” he conceded, “be an angel and stir the rest of the veg into the avo with some salt and pepper - we’ll call it a kind of guac variation,” he rattled off with an inspired gleam, “I’ll see what I have in the way of corn ships,” he finished, leaving Remus at the counter wondering if it was normal to feel aroused by being ordered around over mushed avocado.

They transported their feast to the coffee table, Sirius had even found some expensive looking corn chips – “They’re Salsa flavored!” – and even some chocolate milk ice cream he’d made during the week when he wasn’t able to sleep.

They piled onto the couch, and Sirius rested his legs over Remus’s lap, making the butterflies flutter ridiculously in his rib-cage as though he hadn’t literally tasted Sirius’s cock less than an hour ago.

Sirius handed him a slice of toast and scooped some of the ‘guac’ with a corn chip, groaning in satisfaction after he popped it into his mouth. Remus watched and wandered if now was the time to initiate a conversation.

He didn’t want to pop their little bubble of orgasms – of the food and the naked fun variety – but there were things he needed to think about. As much as it was lovely that Sirius and Teddy had already broken the ice and seemed to have no issue getting along, Remus knew he needed to be cautious. It wouldn’t do to come in too strong, and accidentally confuse Teddy if Sirius was in his life one day and out the next. But at the same time, Remus had to admit that his feelings in the time he’d known Sirius as more than a work acquaintance had developed pretty significantly. He thought of the embarrassingly possessive thoughts he had earlier and felt a pang of anxiety that it would frighten Sirius off. He swallowed his last bite of toast and reached forward to try the guac-corn chip combo Sirius was holding in his lap.

Whether he liked it or not, Remus’s life wasn’t as simple as endless successions of nights where they could sleep over or days spent in the nip fucking on kitchen counters and leaving lube in the shower. He needed things to move slowly for Teddy. He needed to be discrete. He needed Sirius to be on board if he was going to be involved to protect his son from more uncertainty in his life. They had a good balance going between Remus, Tonks and Fleur, and while Teddy was resilient and well adjusted, Remus was terrified to upset the eco-system. Didn’t all the parenting books say that kids needed stability to thrive?

“I can hear you thinking,” Sirius smiled wryly, head tilted and resting on the back of the couch as he apparently watched Remus eat his worries worth in avocado. He squeezed one of Sirius’s ankles affectionately and watched a tension he hadn’t realized Sirius was holding in his shoulders melt away.

“We should talk about a few things,” Remus admitted, holding Sirius’s gaze bravely, heart squeezing at the flicker of anxiety he saw flitter across Sirius’s features.

“Okay,” he nodded bravely, taking his own slice of toast and indicating that Remus should start them off.

“I wanted to check in after everything for a start – check you’re okay, you know?”

Sirius blushed beautifully and fought a smile in response. He covered Remus’s hand on his ankle and squeezed back.

“I’m great, Remus,” he reassured, “I had,” he paused, shaking his head with something like disbelief, “So much fun,” he smirked and Remus felt his own cheeks flush.

“Okay, ‘coz I know that I can be a bit…”

“Assertive?” Sirius asked with a quirked brow.

Remus nodded. Sirius’s smile grew.

“I liked it, Remus,” he stated simply, “I love being able to give myself over like that. And I know that you’re going to take care of me, so…”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?” Sirius asked sweetly, leaning his head on the couch cushions again.

“Know that you’re safe with me?” he finished.

“I do,” Sirius confirmed, expression serene and unbothered, “Now what else is worrying you, I can tell the wheels are still turning,” he finished with a gesture to continue and picked up the bowl of ice cream, taking a generous spoonful.

Remus reached forward with grabby hands and Sirius released the container to him with a knowing smirk, giving him the spoon he’d just sucked clean.

Remus took his own mouthful to give him a chance to formulate his next item, taking a second to also appreciate the creamy, malty Nesquik flavor of the home-made ice cream. He nodded at Sirius appreciatively and got a head tilt in reception of his wordless compliment.

“I don’t want to be the person that has to label things and define them after one date, but I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that the situation we find ourselves in has not taken the normal trajectory, what do you think?”

“My goodness, am I hearing the business side in you come out?” Sirius teased, “It’s hot,” he smirked in approval.

“Sirius…”

“If you mean that it’s not exactly normal that we spent the long weekend together before we had our first date, and that I met your kid before we had a chance to make any decisions about our direction, then yeah, I agree.”

“Okay, so we’re on the same page,” Remus breathed, relieved to have Teddy brought up to make his next point.

“You’re worried about what I’ll be to Teddy now that we’re together?” Sirius asked, perfectly innocent to the affect his words; “we’re together” were having on Remus. He took another spoon of ice cream and set aside the container.

“We’re together?” he confirmed cautiously.

Sirius froze and met Remus’s gaze in panic; “I said that out loud, huh?”

Remus nodded, rolling his lips into his mouth to avoid breaking out into song and dance.

“Oh. Well. I guess, I’ve been thinking of us as together roughly since you staked your claim in the restaurant to get that chatty waitress to stop flirting.”

Remus choked a laugh in surprise and Sirius smiled sheepishly, “Was that not where this was going?” he asked.

Remus considered him. Took in Sirius’s hopeful expression paired with a slightly anxious pinch of his brow as he waited for Remus’s verdict like it would decide the rest of his life. Hell, it might just, at that.

“I certainly hoped so,” Remus confirmed, putting the other man out of his misery and earning him a smile so bright it could dim the stars by comparison. He could tell that it was taking everything in Sirius to stay in his position on his side of the couch, and he was grateful he did, because this was only one half of the conversation.

“And as much as it delights me that we’re on the same page,” Remus began again, “I need to make sure that Teddy is protected in all of this.”

Sirius nodded somberly, his ‘I’m thinking’ face making his nose scrunch slightly and making it all the harder for Remus to focus on the issue at hand.

“I guess I’ll take your lead when it comes to Teddy,” Sirius reasoned, “I know we met in a less than ideal timeline, and I’m happy to hang out with him when you’re comfortable with it – but he’s yours and Tonks’s kid, and it should be your guys' decision when and if I’m a part of his life.”

And Remus had thought that Sirius couldn’t get any more perfect, but with that comment, Remus knew he was done. Done fretting. Done worrying this wouldn’t work. Done thinking that anyone would ever come close to being as perfect for him as Sirius was. But that was a thought he’d need to sit with longer in order to do it justice when he eventually voiced it.

“I can’t tell you how much it relieves me that we don’t have to break the ice with either him or Tonks now,” Remus admitted, “Tonks clocked from the moment she met you that I had a thing for you, and Teddy has asked about you no less than three times this week.”

Sirius chuckled.

“I’ll talk to her and I’ll let you know what we come up with?”

“That sounds perfect,” Sirius smiled leaning off the couch now and getting his legs under him, “but can we not skip past the other bit now that we’ve established that?”

“Which bit is that?” Remus asked innocently, and chuckled when Sirius rolled his eyes and crawled toward him on his hands and knees.

“The bit where we’re together…” Sirius drawled when he was kneeling in front of Remus, “because you have a thing for me…”

“Hmmm,” Remus hummed, looping an arm around Sirius’s waist and scooping him onto his lap, “can I assume you have a thing for me too?”

“A huge thing,” Sirius responded with a smirk as his hand crept between them to cup Remus through his borrowed joggers. His smirk softened and he took Remus’s jaw in his hands, looking down at him with chest tightening affection.

“You want to be with me?” he asked, and the vulnerability of the question bowled Remus over into a million pieces.

“More than I’ve wanted anything in a long time,” he replied honestly, nuzzling his nose against Sirius’s, loving the feeling of having him close, “You want me too?”

“How could I not?” Sirius groaned, and dipped his head to Remus’s neck and sucking a bruise there that he knew he’d need to wear a roll neck to cover tomorrow.

“The rest can work itself out, then,” Remus breathed surrendering to the feeling of Sirius against him and the wonderful things he was doing at his neck.

And though a lot of things stayed unspoken that night, Remus knew that there time enough to say all of it. The important bits were whispered later after they had cleared the rose petals from Sirius’s bedroom and Remus had taken an antihistamine, and they lay tangled together in Sirius’s bed, drifting off in peaceful, sated bliss.

“You’re mine?”

“I’m yours,”

“All for me?”

“Only for you,”

And really, what was more important than that?