Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 1

Hey Jude

“Come again?” Cas said.

Eleanor chuckled and sighed. “Why don’t we come in where it’s warm and I can explain everything to you both.”

Dean’s brain seemed to come back online at that. “Oh, yes. I’m so sorry, please come in.” He stammered.

“Thank you. Come on Emma, it’s ok.” She encouraged the little girl.

Dean and Cas moved out of the doorway as they stepped inside. Emma seemed very shy; she hadn’t said a word while they were standing on the porch.

A thousand questions were running through Castiel’s mind, and he couldn’t imagine what Dean was thinking or feeling. To Cas though, it didn’t matter where this little girl came from, he was determined to love her as his own. It was obvious that she was from before they started dating and Dean had admitted to him that he had a string of one-night stands several years ago. Cas just couldn’t imagine what could have happened for this child to be brought to Dean now. Cas wanted to ask if Dean knew about her, but it was very clear by the hurt expression on his face and how confused he was, that he had no idea this child even existed.

Dean was wracking his brain for who he could’ve had a child with several years ago that wouldn’t have told him. Sure, he had one-night stands, but he always used protection, or they were on the pill. He just couldn’t think straight in that moment.

I’m… I’m a father… holy shit I’m a dad. What is Cas thinking of this? Dean thought as they walked further into the house.

“Why don’t we go sit in the living room?” Cas suggested.

Dean was thankful that Cas seemed a little more pulled together than he was.

“That would be fine.” Eleanor agreed with a pleasant smile. Ellen walked up to Dean and grabbed his arm before he could follow the others.

“Dean, what is going on?” She asked, concern painted her face.

“I – I… Fuck Ellen.” Dean looked at the ground for a moment before taking a deep breath and whispering, “That’s my daughter…” His eyes started to burn as he said that out loud for the first time. Something he never thought he would say.

Ellen’s eyes widened, a stunned look on her face, then she smiled encouragingly and patted him gently on the cheek. “Go do what you need to do. I’ll sneak everyone out.”

“Thanks Ellen. Charlie can stay. Might be good to have a buffer, I don’t know what Cas is thinking.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. It’s not like you cheated on him, that child is several years old.” She told him reassuringly.

“Yeah, I know. Maybe Charlie can distract her so we can talk to the CPS lady without scaring her.”

“I’ll tell her.”

Dean nodded and headed into the living room.

“Sorry, we have family over, so I was just asking them to give up some privacy.” Dean apologized as he sat down next to Cas on the couch.

“It’s no problem.” Eleanor assured him.

Eleanor and Emma were sitting on the love seat, the little girl sitting as close to the woman as possible. She had taken her coat off and was wearing black leggings, a sparkly pink skirt, and a black t-shirt with a pink unicorn on it, worn black converse and she was clutching a small stuffed squirrel. Dean cracked a small smile when he saw the stuffed animal, then a memory came flooding back.

He knew who her mother was.

“Mr. Winchester do you know who Emma’s mother was?” She asked.

Was? That couldn’t be good. Cas thought. Dean looked at Cas at the same time he turned to look at Dean, both seeming to have that same question on their minds.

Charlie cautiously came into the living room and said, “I’m sorry but maybe I could take Emma and show her something cool while you talk? I have a really cool game you might like on my computer.” Charlie smiled at Emma. The little girl perked up, nodding, and hopping off the couch to take Charlie’s hand. They headed into the dining room. Charlie smiled at them all and winked as they went.

“That was very kind of your friend. I think it would be best not to discuss this in front of her anyway…” Eleanor took a deep breath, “She’s had a rough past two weeks.”

Hearing that broke both Dean and Castiel’s hearts.

“To Answer your Question Mrs. Visyak, I think I do know who her mother is.” Dean took a steadying breath, Cas’s hand came to rest on his knee, comforting and reassuring. She gestured for him to go on. “I think it was about 5 years ago, I went to a festival a couple towns over one weekend and I met a woman. We instantly clicked and I won her a squirrel at one of the carnival games. A squirrel identical to the one Emma was holding.”

“Do you remember her name?”

“Yeah… It was Lydia. Nether one of us wanted anything serious, we were just having fun. We spent the weekend together before she headed out to basic training.” Dean remembered it fondly; it was a good weekend. “Sammy was pissed when I came back. I didn’t answer him the whole time I was there.” Dean chuckled at the memory. Cas squeezed his knee reassuringly.

“Emma had this picture when she came to us. She knew exactly who you were.” Eleanor held out a photobooth style photo and handed it to Dean. it had 4 pictures of him and Lydia making goofy faces on it. Dean took the photo with a sad smile.

“I never talked to Lydia again after that weekend…” Dean couldn’t bring himself to ask the question he knew he needed too.

Cas somehow read his mind and asked, “What happened to her?”

“She was a pilot in the Air Force… Training exercise gone wrong. Her plane crashed and she didn’t make it out.” Eleanor concluded sadly.

“Fuck. When did that happen?” Dean asked, he felt sad about it but mostly it was for the little girl currently in his house.

“A few days before Christmas. Emma was staying with a friend of her mother’s but spent Christmas in a group home once her mother passed until we found you.” Eleanor reached into the bag she was carrying and pulled out a binder and folder.

“What happens now?” Cas asked.

“I have Lydia’s Will, it specifically states that should anything happen to her, full custody would be granted to Dean Winchester. She had no other family.” Eleanor pulled out several sheets of paper and a pen. “We’ve already done the necessary background checks and if you wish to take full custody and responsibility of her as her father, I will need you to sign these. If not, she will go into the fost- “

Dean stopped her in her tracks. There was no way he wasn’t going to welcome his little girl into his family, this was where she belonged. “Of course I’m taking custody, she’s my daughter!” He said firmly. Even though she hadn’t interacted with him, and he’s only known about her for the last 15 minutes, there was a love and a need to protect her at all costs building inside him.

“We wouldn’t have it any other way.” Cas added.

“That’s great really. I just need you to sign these papers, and Lydia gave her your surname when she was born so you don’t have to go through the hassle of changing her last name if you wanted too. And I will come back in one week to make sure that she has everything she needs and that you are providing a suitable living environment.” She smiled and handed the papers to Dean for him to sign. He read over them and signed them without thought.

“That’s no problem. We will take her shopping tomorrow for everything she needs.” Dean said matter-of-factly.

“I’m afraid I must tell you; she doesn’t have much. She has a small backpack with some clothes in it and that stuffed squirrel. That’s it.” Eleanor said sadly.

“What happened to all her stuff?” Dean asked.

“That’s all she had really. Lydia was a good mother and provided the best she could, but she was a single working mother. They moved around a lot, so Emma hasn’t had much in the way of personal belongings her whole life.”

“Son of a bitch. I wish she would’ve called me. I could’ve helped.” Dean hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I must ask, are you two in a relationship?” Eleanor asked cautiously.

Dean and Cas both tensed, unsure of where this was going or how their answer would affect the custody agreement.

“Will our answer affect me keeping my child?” Dean asked somewhat coldly.

Eleanor smirked, “No Mr. Winchester it won’t. We don’t live in the dark ages anymore and the ideal situation is in a loving home with her biological father. It’s just part of making the transition easier if I know who will be in the house with her.”  

They both let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, we are. Engaged actually, for whenever it becomes legal.” Dean tried to smile and looked over at Cas.

Cas nodded and said, “We are a family, Dean and me. And we have a lot of good people around us to help welcome Emma into the family.”

“That’s great. It sounds like you both will have a good support system, that will make the transition easier.” She said cheerfully. “Well, I will be in town for the next week so if you need anything please don’t hesitate to call. Here’s my card.” She reached into her bag and took a card out, handing it to Dean. They got up and walked into the dining room where Charlie and Emma were watching cat videos on her computer.

Eleanor stopped just out of earshot and whispered, “I’ve been doing this a very long time. It’s going to take time for her to adjust. She’s been through a lot, and it was just her and her mother for a long time. Be patient with her. She just needs her father’s love.” She placed her hand on Dean’s arm reassuringly and then turned to Cas. “She needs it from you too. Just because she isn’t blood doesn’t mean she isn’t family. Oh, and I hope you can make it official one day, you two make such a lovely couple.”

“We appreciate that. And I hope she gets used to me. I always wanted to be a father.” Cas admitted with a shy smile.  

“I’m sure you both will do great.” She said and then stepped up to Emma and said her goodbyes.

Dean and Cas walked her to the door when she stopped, “Oh I almost forgot! Here.”

She reached back into her bag and pulled out two envelopes and handed them to Dean. One was addressed to Dean while the other read: To Emma on your 16^th birthday.

Dean just stared at the clean cursive script on the two envelopes, unable to comprehend what he was holding.

“It was stated in Lydia’s Will that she wrote both of these before her first deployment, this one explains everything.” Eleanor pointed to the one with Dean’s name on it.

“Thanks.” Was all Dean could manage.

“Let me get her backpack and the car seat for you to borrow until you can buy one and I’ll be on my way.” She walked down the steps and over to the small sedan and pulled a pink backpack and a car seat from it.

Dean took the car seat, and she handed the backpack to Cas. They said their goodbyes, thanking her once again. Once Dean shut the front door, he set the car seat down by the closet and sunk to the floor, head in his hands, the envelopes sitting on the floor next to him.

Cas kneeled in front of him. “You ok love?” He placed a loving hand on Dean’s knee.

“Yeah.” Dean rubbed his eyes then looked up at Cas. “Yeah, I’m ok. Just a lot to process.”

Cas nodded, “Let’s go relieve Charlie and see if Emma will talk to you.”

“Good idea.”

Cas stood up and reached a hand down to help Dean up. They started to walk towards the kitchen when Dean stopped Cas. “Hey, what are you thinking of all this.”

Dean had a worried look on his face, he had a hard time reading Cas sometimes and he couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. He needed to know. Cas just chuckled, knowing exactly what Dean was thinking, he was able to read him like an open book.

“Dean you’re a grown man and you had a past before me. If your worried that I’m angry, you would be incorrect.” The tension fell from Dean’s face as Cas spoke, he blew out a breath.

Cas closed the small space between them and wrapped his arms around him. Dean relaxed into his warm and familiar touch; breathing in the scent that was just Cas.

“Now,” Cas said with a crooked smile as he pulled back. “Let’s go meet our daughter.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling all the doubt he had melt away as Cas took his hand and led him into the dining room. Dean put the two envelopes on top of the antique record player that sat in the dining room. He walked over to the table and sat down next to Emma, Cas sat across from them, not wanting to crowd her space and make her nervous.

Dean wasn’t sure what to say, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. “I like your Squirrel you got here. What’s his name?” He was willing to try anything to get her to speak to him.

Charlie stayed sitting on Emma’s other side, she had made friends with her and didn’t want her to feel abandoned if she got up and left. Dean and Cas were both grateful for their friend.

She looked up at him with big green eyes and said in a cute small voice, “Tanks, his name is Mr. Squirrel.” She was soft spoken and gentle. “I had him since I was bornded. Mommy said Daddy won him for her. Tat’s you.” She pointed to Dean.

Dean’s heart felt like it was going to burst. She knew who he was. Lydia had clearly told her about him from her having their pictures and now this stuffed animal. But the one glaring question he had was why she hadn’t told him about Emma and was she ever even planning too. She spoke so well Dean almost couldn’t believe he was talking to a 4-year-old and not a small adult. Aside from a slight lisp, she spoke very clearly.

“When’s your birthday honey?” he asked her, still battling with his emotions and trying to keep his voice steady.

“March 1^st, 2006.” She said so nonchalantly.

“That’s coming up soon.” Dean said. She nodded slowly.

“Who’s that?” She whispered as she eyed Cas across the table with curiosity.

That’s Cas. He’s my fiancé and part of the family. he’s going to be another dad to you like me.” Dean tried his best to explain it to her though he was unsure if she was understanding what he said.

She nodded slowly, seeming to be in thought before she said, “My friend from where I lived with mommy had two daddy’s. His name was Jacob and he lived across from me. So, your like them?”

Dean smiled and Cas sighed in relief. Cas had no idea how to explain it either but was glad she already seemed to have a grasp on the concept.

“Exactly like that.” Dean tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear, then an idea popped into his mind.

“Do you want to go meet the animals? I saw the unicorn on your shirt. We don’t have unicorns, but we have horses.” Dean suggested. He was desperate for her to not look so sad and lonely.

That did the trick. She lit up when he said horses. “Oh yes! I love horsies! Puppies too!” she bounced in her seat, smiling from ear to ear. Cas almost burst into tears, especially after making the mistake of looking up at Charlie who was wiping a tear from her eye.

“Those are mine too. Why don’t you go grab your coat off the couch and we will go check’em out?” Dean smiled brightly at her.

“Ok!” she exclaimed and jumped off the bench seat and ran into the living room.

 Dean and Charlie stood up, “What the hell Dean! Why didn’t you tell me you had a kid!” Charlie accused in a stage whipser with a punch to his shoulder. Cas stifled a laugh across the table, he still held Emma’s backpack in one hand but decided to set it on the table for now.

“First of all, ow.” Dean rubbed his shoulder. Charlie may be short, but she packs a punch and knows just how to frog you with one. “Second, I didn’t even know I had a kid!”

Charlie’s face dropped. “Oh… Dean I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“It’s a lot to tell. I’ll tell you about it after she’s asleep tonight.” Dean said tiredly.

“Yeah, good idea. I’ll go up to Sam’s to let everyone know everything is ok.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. I don’t want to freak her out by introducing her to everyone on her first day so tell them they can meet her tomorrow maybe.” He suggested.

“You got it boss!” Charlie declared right as Emma came bounding back into the room, big puffy jacket already on.

“I’m ready!” she announced then grabbed her squirrel off the table and tucked it under her arm.

“Mr. Squirrel going with us?” Cas asked having set the backpack on the table.

“Yes, he goes ereywhere wiff me. He keeps me safe.” She snuggled the worn stuffed animal closely.

Charlie almost burst into tears from the cute sight while Dean lit up like a Christmas tree, knowing that to her; the little squirrel represented him. Cas had a sappy smile on his face as they headed towards the front door. Charlie headed out the back door and towards Sam’s after she put her coat on to tell everyone the news.

Once out the door and into the frigid air that was the Montana mountains, Dean reached down and flipped Emma’s hood up on her jacket like it was second nature.

“Tanks.” She smiled up at him.

He smiled back and they started to walk, Cas trailing right behind them; observing the way that Dean interacted with her like he had known her his whole life. Cas of course knew how Dean was feeling, how it was all overwhelming, but it wasn’t outwardly showing and that made Cas smile. After a few steps Emma reached up and took Dean’s hand while looking where she was walking in the snow. The ache around Dean’s heart tightened as he realized how natural it felt with her. How the need to parent, protect, and love his child had come flooding into both his conscious and subconscious.

When they reach the barn Dean pulls the door open with one hand and flips the light on. They step inside and Emma’s mouth falls open when the three horses stick their heads over the stall doors and a chorus of soft nickers can be heard.

“Wow.” She whispers. Dean and Cas both chuckle and look at one another fondly.

“Come on, but you have to be slow and quiet. Horses don’t like loud noises or fast movement.” Dean instructed gently.

Emma nods, unable to take her eyes off the horses who are all waiting eagerly. Cas walked into the feed room and grabbed a couple of treats for Emma to give each horse. They could both tell how excited Emma was, she held on to her stuffed squirrel and Dean’s hand tightly as they walked towards the horses. The first stall they came to was Sadie’s. Her sweet and gentle demeanor was something Dean knew he could count on when introducing his child to a horse for the first time.

They stopped in front of her stall and Sadie leaned her head over the door and down towards Emma, sniffing and blowing her hot breath on the little girl. Emma giggled and squinted when Sadie blew her breath in her face.

“That tickles.” Emma laughed with a wide smile. Dean and Cas both chuckled before Dean introduced them.

“This is Sadie. She’s really sweet. Your aunt Eileen owns her, and Cas here has been riding her for a while now.” Dean pointed to Cas.

Emma listened intensely to Dean then turned to Cas in aw in a way only a child can be. Her mouth hug open for a second before she asked bewilderedly, “You like horsies’s too?!”

Dean snickered and Cas beamed at her affectionately. He squatted down so he was eye level with her. “I do. I was like you before I met your daddy. Never met a horse before in my life.”

Somehow Emma’s mouth got wider, and her eyes got bigger as she asked in shock, “Really? Just like me?”

Dean was still holding her hand and doing his best not to burst out laughing at how adorable and funny this whole interaction was.

“Really really!” Cas declared. “Here.” He held out his hand for hers.

She hesitantly let go of Dean’s hand and held hers out to Cas. He smiled gently and took hers with one hand, flipping it over and setting a treat inside it.

“You can give her this. Just hold it flat on your palm so she doesn’t get a finger.” Cas instructed, he looked up at Dean and winked at him. Cas didn’t want to overstep but he knew Dean wanted him to be part of this. If he hadn’t, he would’ve asked him to stay behind. They would have to have a more in-depth conversation about everything but if he knew Dean; and he was positive he knew him better than Dean knew himself, he knew he would want him to treat Emma like his own in every way possible.

Emma slowly reached out her hand with the treat and Sadie took a moment to smell it before gently taking it off her hand. Emma giggled and reached out to pet her nose. “She’s soft. I likes her.” Emma beamed up at them both in turn.

They proceeded to the other horses, feeding another treat to Sam’s horse Duke, with Dean explaining who he was and who he belonged to. When they got to Zeppelin Dean beamed with pride. Next to the Impala, Zeppelin was Dean’s pride and joy. Dean rescued him from a kill pen as a yearling and trained him himself. They were damn near inseparable when together and tended to have the same personality. Zeppelin was the boss of the heard, but Dean took pride in how gentle he was towards kids. Dean has had several “Come to Jesus” moments with him, but that was because they were both stubborn to a fault. It hadn’t happened in several years, and with age Zeppelin became more willing to accept new things instead of fighting them. Dean rode him in the parades the town threw every year and Zeppelin always loved all the attention he got from the kids. He wasn’t afraid of them like some of the other horses and if Dean was being honest, he had yet to find something that the horse was afraid of.

The only thing Dean thought might scare Emma was that he was more insistent with his love. He would nudge you if he felt ignored.

“This is Zeppelin. He’s my horse, we ride almost every day.” Dean said cheerfully.

Cas handed her the last treat and she held it out for the horse to take. Much to Dean’s relief, Zeppelin was the gentlest he had ever seen him be. He slowly leaned down, ears pricked forward and softly took the treat. He lifted his head and shook it up and down in a yes motion which caused Emma to squeal in laughter. Dean lifted her up so she could scratch Zeppelin on the head. The horse quietly nickered and leaned close so she could rub his head and run her hand through his long, black forelock.

“So pretty.” She whispered, a sweet smile playing across her face as she gazes at the large horse. “He’s my favorites.”

“Yeah, he’s my favorite too.” Dean set her on the ground and took her hand. “Wanna go see the cows and chickens?” he questioned.

“Yes! Yes!” She bounced excitedly on her toes before taking Cas’s hand along with Dean’s and the new little family headed out to see the rest of the animals. Looking at Cas and then down at Emma, Dean couldn’t help but think how lucky he was in that moment to be granted the opportunity to have his daughter in his life and the most amazing man by his side to build this family with. They would have ups and downs sure, but they would get through it together, nothing could tear them apart.

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A few hours later found them back inside the ranch house after seeing all the farm animals. Emma thought the cows were cute, but the Longhorn seemed a bit scary, though she loved the chickens. Cas already tended to them for the most part and figured he had just found a helper in Emma for feeding and collecting eggs every morning, considering how much she loved them. They hadn’t realized they had spent the better part of two hours messing around with the animals. They had just introduced Emma to Miracle who immediately fell in love with her. Emma was sitting on the floor in the living room, playing with her squirrel and talking to Miracle who was laying with his head in her lap.

“Looks like Miracle will be needing a bed in Emma’s room.” Cas whispered as he stepped up beside Dean. Dean was looking on his phone at all the missed calls and texts from everyone over at Sam’s (Mainly from Sam).

Dean snorted and said, “No kidding. Guess I’m chopped liver now.” He chuckled. Cas just elbowed him in the side, knowing he was just joking. They both knew that having Miracle around would be good for Emma.

“Jesus, Sam text you too?” Dean inquired, leaning against Cas as he typed out a reply to Sam’s inquisitive messages, then one to Charlie and Ellen as well. Charlie would be coming back to the house since she was crashing there for New Years. Dean figured he would bring Emma around tomorrow to meet everyone, he didn’t want to overwhelm her on her first day home. He also sent a text to Cain, asking if he would be ok by himself for most of the day tomorrow so he and Cas could take Emma shopping to make her feel more at home and like she belonged there. She was still quite shy and quiet unless talking about horses or dogs. Dean and Cas both hoped that would soon change.

Dean walked into the living room and squatted down (though his creaking and popping knees protested) next to Emma. “Hey sweetie. It’s getting close to dinner time. Are you hungry?”

Emma looked up at him with wide eyes. “Yes pwease.” She murmured.

“Let’s go see what we got.” Dean held out his hand for her. She grabbed onto his finger and hoisted herself up onto her feet; she tightened her grip on his finger as she picked up her squirrel and they walked hand in hand into the kitchen where Cas was pulling out leftover dishes from lunch. Dean pulled out one of the bar stools and lifted Emma onto it then pushed it back in.

“What’s your favorite food Emma?” Cas asked as he popped the Tupperware lid on the leftover mac and cheese.

“Burgers.” She said seriously.

Dean threw his head back in a full body laugh and Cas was shaking his head, biting his lip to try and hold back his laughter. Emma looked confusedly between them both before saying, “What’s so funny?”

“She’s definitely your kid Dean.” Cas finally let out a laugh.

Dean reined himself in, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes and answering Emma’s question, “My favorite food is burgers too. We just didn’t expect that to be yours too.”

“Oh… I likes pie too.” She smiled brightly.

Cas looked down and shook his head, “yup, definitely yours.”

“No kidding.” Dean smiled affectionately and ruffled her hair gently. “We have plenty of my famous homemade pie for dessert.”

“Yay!” She cheered.

They went about fixing dinner, both being very glad that Emma seemed to at least try any food that was put in front of her. They enjoyed having dinner at the kitchen island, learning a little more about Emma as well. They learned that she is shy and never had many friends, she loves baseball, much to Dean’s delight. They learned that Emma and her mom moved around a lot for her work, but Emma didn’t know where all they had been to. Her favorite movie was the Lion King, but she still loved princesses too. They still had a lot to learn about her and her past, but they had plenty of time for that.

After dinner, they went into the living room to watch some tv. Dean and Cas settled on the couch next to each other; Dean throwing his arm around Cas’s shoulders while Emma got in the old leather chair with Miracle. Halfway through watching Marry Poppins, Emma got up and came to sit next to Dean. She climbed up next to him, stuffed squirrel in hand and rubbed her eyes with the other. She cuddled into his side and yawned audibly.

“Getting sleepy?” Dean asked her.

“Mmhhmm.” She nodded.

Dean looked at his watch, it was 8:30pm. “I guess it probably is your bedtime.” He kissed Cas on the cheek and stood up. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Cas stood as well, looking at Emma and taking in the sight of her tired, glassy eyes. Emma looked at Dean through long lashes and reached her arms out for him. Without hesitation he scooped her up, settling her on his hip. She laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped the arm that wasn’t occupied by the squirrel around his neck. For the umpteenth time that day, both Dean and Castiel’s hearts melted; neither one still being able to comprehend that mere hours ago they had no idea this sweet child they were both already attached to even existed. Cas grabbed her backpack and followed Dean up the stairs.

They had three rooms upstairs to choose from, but they both silently agreed that the one directly across from their room would be the best choice. It was the closest to their room, it had its own attached full bathroom, and it had a great view of what would be the broodmare barn and soon to be more pastures. Luckily Charlie was staying in the other spare room down the hall. Dean hadn’t done much to the guest rooms, they were painted light grey and had minimal décor along with a queen bed, nightstand and lamp, and a dresser for each.

They entered the room and Cas flipped the overhead light on for Dean. Dean took in the room for a moment before turning to Cas with a nervous expression. Dean’s expression said everything Cas needed to know, and he agreed; they had work to do. This was not a suitable bedroom for a 4-year-old little girl. It was too stuffy and not nearly bright or colorful enough. Emma lifted her head and looked around the room before scrunching up her nose.

“It’s not that bad.” Dean insisted gently, trying to reassure her.

“It looks… Cold.” Emma mumbled, burying her face in his neck.

Dean and Cas both frowned before Cas said, “Don’t worry, it won’t be cold for long. Tomorrow we are going to take you shopping so you can pick out all your new stuff. We will even pick up some paint and me and Daddy will paint your room for you.” He rubbed calming circles on her back.

She sat up, her eyes glistening with tears not yet shed and said in a small voice. “Ok.” She sniffled a little before Dean set her on her feet. “Yeah, you can even help us paint if you want too.”

She nodded in agreement as a single tear slid down her face. Dean reached out and gently wiped it away.

“Hey now, none of that.” He said softly, squatting down to get eye level with her. “Everything is going to be ok. You have your own bathroom, and me and Cas are right across the hall if you need anything.” He smiled warmly, “We will always be here for you. No matter what, no matter when. That’s our job. We love you.”

Cas nodded along with Dean, desperately trying to keep the single man tear he felt burning his right eye from falling; they didn’t need a 4-year-old and an adult crying.

“That’s right honey.” Cas added with a loving smile.

“I love you too Daddy.” Emma said before throwing her arms around his neck. He hugged her tightly.

When she pulled back, he smiled, “Ok, lets brush your teeth and get into some pj’s so we can go to sleep.”

Once Emma’s teeth were brushed and her plain pink pajamas on, Dean pulled back the covers on the way too big bed. Cas lifted her up and she crawled under the comforter. Miracle had made his way into the room and was laying at the foot of the bed.

She looked at Cas with a puzzled expression. “What’s that face for?” Cas asked, poking her in the stomach and making her laugh. Dean was quiet, letting them have this talk.

“What do I calls you?” She questioned.

“You mean since you call him Daddy, what should you call me?”

Emma nodded.

“Well, what do you want to call me?” Cas wanted this to be her decision, he didn’t want to force her to call him something she didn’t want to.

Emma leaned forward and put her hand on Cas’s face, quietly studying it. “You looks like a Poppa.” She said decidedly.

“I like it.” Dean added with a cheeky grin.

Cas chuckled, “Then I guess I’m Poppa.”

She lunged towards Cas and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, he hugged her back tightly. When she let go, he asked, “Do you want a glass of water?”

“Uhhuh.” She nodded yes.

Cas got up and headed downstairs to get her the water, flipping the light off on the way out.

Dean laid down sideways across the bed, the low light from the partially shut bathroom door creating a soft night light for Emma. He was tucking her in when she asked, “Daddy, will you sing to me?”

“Sure baby.” He smiled at her before sitting up and on the edge of the bed in a more comfortable position. He didn’t know any lullabies, so he sang the first thing that popped into his mind. The song his mother sang to him when he was a kid to put him to sleep; her favorite Beatles song, Hey Jude.

“Hey Jude, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Hey Jude, don’t be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.”

Emma snuggled her squirrel closer and stared up at Dean as he sang. He ran a hand across her forehead, sweeping away a stray strand of hair out of her face. He continued to sing.

***

Halfway back up the stairs Cas could hear Dean singing. He slowly walked down the hall and stopped just outside the door, right out of sight of Emma. The scene before him was the most wonderful thing he thought he had ever seen. It pulled at his heartstrings; watching the man he loved comfort and sing to his child as if he had been doing from the moment she entered this world. It was heartwarming and Cas did not want to interrupt it. So, he waited. He watched Dean sing through the middle of the song, smiling as Emma’s eyes started to fall. He watched Dean run a loving hand across her forehead to move her hair out of the way. And in that moment, he witnessed a simple man turn into a father; and it was beautiful. A soft smile played across Castiel’s face as he listened to Dean finish the song.

“So let it out and let it in
Hey Jude, begin
you’re waiting for someone to perform with
and don’t you know that it’s just you
Hey Jude, you’ll do
The movement you need is on your shoulders

Hey Jude, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you’ll begin to make it better.”

He ended the last few words quieter than he had begun. Emma had slowly fallen asleep to Dean’s singing, and it melted his heart. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead right as Cas tip-toed into the room, glass of water in hand. He set it on the nightstand and walked over to take Dean’s hand. Together they quietly exited the room, just as the flood of emotions from the day started to feel like they were going to boil over. Dean needed some air.

They left her bedroom door ajar in case she woke up and they headed downstairs. Just when they got to the bottom of the stairs, Charlie was sneaking in the back door.

“Emma is asleep in the room across from ours.” Cas told Charlie in a hushed voice. They all came to stand at the kitchen island.

“This day turned into something I never imagined in a million years.” Dean scrubbed a hand down his face, exhaustion clear in his features.

“Do I need to go stay at Sam’s?” Charlie asked, not wanting to intrude.

“No, no. you can stay here like we planned. Just be quiet.” Dean trailed off then added, “I need some air. Keep an ear out in case she wakes up.” he never met either Cas nor Charlies eyes as he turned to walk through the dining room, grabbing his coat and the letter addressed to him and walk out the front door.

Cas and Charlie watched him go. “Do you think he’s ok?” Charlie questioned, concern for her best friend clear in her voice.

Cas turned to her with a sigh, “He will be.”

“This has to be hard for him to take in.”

“It is… But I don’t think it’s the fact that he has a child, and she now will live with us that is hard on him. Fatherhood comes naturally to Dean…” Cas paused, fixing Charlie with a pained look. “It’s the reality that Emma’s mother seemed to have no intention of telling him he had a daughter until Emma was old enough to make that decision.” Cas frowned.

“Oh… That’s pretty fucked up.” Charlie said wide-eyed.

“I agree… There is a letter for Dean from the mother, but he hasn’t opened it yet.” Cas curiously walked over to the entry into the dining room, looking where they left the letters only to find that Dean had grabbed the one for him when he got his coat. He turned back to Charlie. “He took the letter outside with him.”

“Should we go check on him?” She asked.

Cas walked past where she was standing at the island and over to the coffee pot. “Let’s give him some time. He’s been hit with a lot and needs time to process it. I’ll go find him if he doesn’t come back in 20 minutes.” Cas pulled three coffee cups down from the cabinet then pressed the button to start the coffee machine. “In the meantime, I need some coffee. Want some?”

“That’d be awesome.”

                                           ---------------------------------------------------------------

POV: DEAN

The night air was brutally cold when Dean stepped out the front door. He pulled the Carhart up around his neck and walked down the steps and headed towards the barn, thankful that it at least wasn’t snowing. He pushed the door open and flipped on the light switch. Happy nickers were heard coming from the three horses in the stalls. Dean made a beeline for Zeppelin. The horse quietly greeted him, neck arched, ears perked forward as he blew his hot breath on Dean’s outstretched hand. Dean loved that horses could always read the person they loved most and were able to provide comfort when needed. Zeppelin had yet to fail him in any situation thrown at him and always knew when Dean needed a friend. Dean rubbed his palm up and down the horse’s forehead and ran his fingers through his forelock, all while his mind drifted to the letter that felt like it was searing a hole in his jeans pocket.

“Thanks buddy.” Dean told Zeppelin before turning and walking out of the barn, shutting the door, and turned the light off as he went. He leaned against the barn door for a moment, contemplating what to do. He didn’t think he could return to the house just yet, then he caught sight of the truck Cas gave him for Christmas sitting where his garage would be in a few months. He pushed off the door and headed over to it.

Thankful that he had spotlights on every corner of his house, the truck was illuminated in the sheer darkness that was a Montana night. He let the rusty tailgate down and took a seat, the truck creaking under his weight. He pulled the letter out of his pocket and with a deep breath, tore it open. He didn’t know what he had expected to be inside, but it wasn’t the photos that fell into his lap when he unfolded the paper. He set the letter down on the tailgate and picked up the small bunch of photos. When he looked at the first photo, he began to feel hot tears prick behind his eyes. It was a photo from the hospital the day Emma was born. It was a candid photo, clearly taken by a nurse of Lydia with a screaming Emma being placed on her chest; barely one minute old. He flipped the picture over to find it dated with a few written words: March 1^st, 2006. Emma Marie Winchester. Born at 3:57pm.

Son of a bitch… her middle name is close to moms.  He thought as he flipped it back over and set it on top of the letter. The coincidence was not lost on him.

The next two photos are also from the hospital; one of Emma wrapped in a swaddle and sleeping, the other of a nurse giving her a bath with a scrunched-up face. Dean chuckled as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. He set those two aside with the first photo to finish looking at the rest.

There were twelve more pictures, each dated a month apart with a few words on the back to detail what was happening. Even though he was not there for her first year of life, Lydia made sure he would get a look into what it was like by including photos of her as she grew, none of which contained Lydia. There was one of her doing a big stretch at one month old, a picture from two months old, laying on her back and gripping a rattle with her eyes wide, one from three months of her trying to roll over, one from four months old after she tried baby food for the first time, she was making a sour face; clearly not a fan of the green beans she had tried. Dean chuckled at that one.

The picture from five months was of bath time, she was lying in a baby tub and holding onto a rag with the biggest smile on her face, the spitting image of Dean when he was that age. By the six-month photo she was pushing herself up on her elbows with a huge grin, drool dripping down her chin. Seven, eight and nine months were much the same, she was doing various things, from bouncing in a bouncer to learning how to crawl; all with a huge, open-mouthed smile on her face. Dean could practically hear the happy squeal he was sure she was making. By the ten-month picture she was pulling herself up on a couch, eleven months she was taking her fist unassisted steps, and the one-year photo showed her covered in cake and frosting, eyes scrunched up from the infectious smile on her face. These photo’s left Dean’s heart feeling full but also aching. He had missed so much, but he made up his mind he would never miss another milestone in his daughter’s life.

He took a steadying breath and traded the pictures for the letter, opening it carefully and starting to read.

Dear Dean,

I am writing this because our sweet Emma is now over a year old, and my first deployment is coming up. If you are reading this then something has happened to me, whether it was now or several years from now. I know you will have questions and I hope to provide you with all the answers you need in this letter. Please know that I never intended to keep you a secret from Emma, she sees your picture every day, carries it with her and knows exactly who you are. Her first word was ‘Daddy’ while looking at the carnival pictures of us. You’re probably wondering why I didn’t tell you I was pregnant. Well, you seemed so busy with your new business, and we agreed we were just looking for a good time; I didn’t want to trouble you with a baby when you were just getting started. I know you probably feel like I lied to you considering I told you I was on birth control, but it was a shorter answer than having to tell you that I have a medical condition where I couldn’t get pregnant. I didn’t know I was pregnant until I started feeling sick about three months later. My doctor confirmed it and told me that I was lucky, that people with my diagnosis almost never conceive without help. She was considered a miracle. I intended on letting her decide when she was older if she wanted to meet you, that may seem unfair to you but that’s what I had decided. I never meant to hurt you and I’m sorry if I have. She is so much like you. We don’t have much, it’s been just me and her. Please take care of my baby, I know you will but as a mother I have to say it. I know you will be a great father and give her everything she could possibly want. She is lucky to have a man like you in her life. I know I only knew you for a weekend, but I can tell that you have a big heart Dean Winchester. I hope you found someone to share your life with, someone who will treat you both right. Tell her I love her and please don’t let her forget me.

                                                                                                                                                  Yours, Lydia.

By the end of the letter Dean had tears streaming down his face, he felt numb, and the cold winter night no longer bothered him. He had so many emotions swirling around in his head that he felt overwhelmed. He didn’t know how to handle it and he felt rage boiling just at the surface. He ran both hands through his longer than normal hair and tugged hard. He tried to breathe deep, tried to get control of his emotions, but in a way, he couldn’t help but feel like Lydia betrayed him. He was sad, he was hurt, he was exhausted, and he was angry.

He slid off the tailgate and started pacing. His rage was starting to overpower every other feeling, his hands started to shake. He stopped pacing and turned to look at the truck. He spotted a large dent in the left rear fender and the toolbox next to it. He pulled on the fender with all his might; the feeling of the old, rusted rivets snapping off one by one only spurring his rage on. It finally came free with the sound of tearing and screeching metal. He looked in the toolbox and grabbed the large Ball Peen Hammer that was sitting next to it. He lifted it above his head and brought it down onto the underside of the fender with a loud clang of metal on metal.

                                                  ---------------------------------------------------------------

POV: SWITCH

Cas and Charlie were talking about the plans for the broodmare barn and finishing their coffee when Charlie said, “Dean’s been gone a while. Should we go check on him?”

Cas sighed, “Yes, I was just thinking that.” He reached over to take her empty coffee mug and put it in the sink next to his. “I’ll go check on him. would you mind-“

“I’m on baby duty don’t worry.” She interrupted him with a knowing smile.

He smiled gratefully back, “Thank you, Charlie. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Cas walked over and grabbed his coat. He was pulling on his second boot when the loud sound of metal forcefully slamming into metal echoed through the house. Cas’s head snapped up as Charlie jumped in surprise.
“What the hell was that?” She asked as she clutched her chest and took a deep breath.

“I don’t know, but it can’t be good.” And with that, Cas was out the door.

Cas jogged down the steps as the sound of metal on metal rang through the dark and still night, his head turned to the right; towards where the sound was coming from. He quickened his pace, following the loud and steady clanging until he rounded the corner of the house to find Dean next to the old Chevy, hammer in hand, banging out the dented fender with all his strength.

Cas slowly approached him, uncertain of the state his fiancé could be in, though it was clear by the pained look on Dean’s focused face that he had read the letter. He glanced up as he heard footsteps crunch in the freshly fallen snow.

“A little late to be banging out that dent don’t you think?” Cas asked gently.

Dean turned to look at him only for a moment before turning his focus back to the fender. He hit it again, this time with more force. “I think it’s the perfect fucking time to do it.”

Cas stepped closer and placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Did you read the letter?”

“What difference does it make?” Dean deadpanned as he swung the hammer down harder and faster with a loud grunt.  

Cas frowned and let his hand drop to his side. He observed Dean for a moment before asking, “Can I read it?”

“I don’t give a fuck.” Dean gritted out through clenched teeth and swung down on the fender again.

This was a first for Cas. Dean had always been nothing but sweet, goofy, and nice since they reunited. He knew Dean’s rage wasn’t directed at him, but it made his heart hurt to see him in such a state. Dean was on a ledge; a breaking point of sort, and he was about to fall. Cas intended on being his parachute.

Cas’s eyes fell onto the open tailgate, and he walked over to it. He picked up the photos and sifted through them, then picked up the letter and read it to the sound of Dean beating the shit out of the fender. Once he was finished, he understood why Dean was in the state he was in. Dean was becoming severely out of breath and finally stopped. He stood there, hammer still in hand, sweat dripping down his face as his chest rose and fell at an alarming rate with every gasping breath he took. He found he couldn’t look at Cas as he walked up to him.

“Dean… I-I’m so sorry.” Cas stepped forward and put his hand on the side of Dean’s face. Dean swallowed hard and made a point to look at Cas’s neck, too afraid that if he looked at his face, he would finally break and fall off the ledge.

“I can’t imagine what you are feeling right now. No amount of words will help or make it right.” Cas gently tilted his head up, forcing Dean to finally meet his eyes. All Cas saw in his bloodshot eyes was hurt and anger.

“She was never going to tell me Cas…” Dean’s voice failed him, breaking as he whispered. Looking into Castiel’s eyes he saw nothing but love and understanding. It brought him to his knees, slowly chipping away the wall he was so desperately trying to hold up.

“I created a child, and she didn’t want to “trouble” me with her. What the fuck!” Dean bellowed, still panting, his bottom lip quivering.

“I know Dean. But Emma is here now.” Cas tried, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

Dean turned from Cas as he felt his control slipping, squeezing his eyes shut as tears spilled down his face. “I missed so much, Cas… so much.”

Dean turned to face him once before he found himself roaring, “I missed her first birthday, I missed her first steps, I missed her first word, hell I even missed her goddamned birth.” His voice got louder with each declaration, his anger getting the better of him and he started slamming the hammer against the fender yet again.

Cas stood there, solid, unflinching, and listening.

“All because she didn’t think I would want her and that it would be trouble.” Dean took a shaky breath, hitting the fender one more time before continuing, “I’m hurt, I feel betrayed, and I’m pissed…”

He wiped the cold moisture from his eyes and said quietly, “And yet I couldn’t be happier that she is here.” Dean finally dropped the hammer as he looked down at the snow-covered ground, a sob wracking through his body as he tumbled over the ledge of that cliff, finally breaking. Cas was there in a second to wrap his strong arms around Dean, they sank onto the snowy ground as Dean let the emotional roller coaster of the day flood every part of his being; comforted and protected by Cas. There were very few people that Dean would ever have allowed to see him like this, Cas being number one. He hated this. Sometimes, he hated how much he cared and how hard he loved.

“Why didn’t she tell me!” He sobbed. “I would’ve taken that baby in without hesitation. She’s family. She’s my blood.” He mumbled into Cas’s jacket, gripping the material tightly.  

Cas dug his fingers into the hair at the base of Dean’s skull, holding him as close as possible. “I know. But now you can make so many new memories. Good memories. You don’t have to miss anything else my love.” Cas felt Dean’s shoulders relax slightly, the fight leaving him as exhaustion took over.

Dean pulled back, looking into Cas’s eyes and saw the truth there. “I swear I will never miss another milestone. Not with her or any of our other kids we may have.” He promised through shaking breath.

Cas smiled fondly, that was the first time Dean had mentioned them being able to have children. It made Cas’s heart flutter. “You won’t. I have faith in you, Dean Winchester.”

Cas leaned forward and kissed him, the taste of salty tears heavy on his lips. When they pulled apart Cas asked, “feeling better?” He carded his fingers through Dean’s hair the way he knew he liked it.

“A little.” Dean smiled weakly.

“Good. Let’s get you inside and in some dry clothes.” Cas stood and then tugged Dean onto his feet. He handed the letter and photos to Dean as they walked hand in hand towards the house.

Once inside Cas helped Dean pull off his coat and boots. Dean kept his eyes downcast, afraid of making eye contact with Charlie who he knew was sitting at the island.

Cas started to guide Dean up the stairs when Charlie called out, “Dean?”

Dean instinctively turned to his best friend, puffy eyes, and all, “Yeah Charlie?” His voice was hoarse from screaming.

“I love you.” She spoke.

Dean playfully grinned at her and said, “I know.” Easily slipping into the Star Wars reference they always knew would cheer the other up.

Dean turned to head up the stairs, Cas was right behind him. Cas steered him through their bedroom door and into the bathroom. Cas took the letter and photos and set them on the dresser before walking back into the bathroom to turn on the shower and help Dean rid himself of his sweat and snow-soaked clothes.

Dean stepped into the shower and under the water, letting the hot spray sooth his sore muscles and wash away the stress of the day. Cas joined him only a minute later, a soft smile on his face as he took the soap Dean had just picked up from his hand. Dean didn’t protest as Cas gently washed every inch of his body, then massaged the shampoo into his hair. Once they were done, they dried off and Dean could feel the weight of the day pulling him down. He was exhausted and it was late. They walked into the bedroom where Cas threw a pair of boxers and basketball shorts at him before he pulled on his own. Dean’s tired brain complied without thought, pulling on the clothing, and throwing the towel in the hamper in the corner of the room. Cas walked over to the bed and crawled in.

Dean turned towards the door but stopped when Cas called after him. “Where are you going?” Cas asked.

“I’ll be right back.” Dean walked out the door and tiptoed up to Emma’s door. He poked his head in, smiling when he heard soft snores coming from the bed.

“I’ll always be there for you.” He whispered into the darkness. He pulled back and walked back into his room and crawled into bed, immediately snuggling up into Cas’s waiting arms. Sleep claimed him quickly that night; Dreams of Emma and him riding in the pastures and having family picnics filled his dreams.

Chapter Text

 Under the Willow

Chapter 2

Life’s a Dance

“Oooff!” Was the sound Dean made when the air was punched from his lungs, and he was abruptly brought back to the waking world. He was laying on his back, now blinking wearily at the wiggly weight that was sitting across his chest.

“Emma?” He questioned groggily. It was still dark outside, and his alarm had yet to go off.

“Wake up Daddy!” She whispered. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and slapped at the solid, snoring lump that was Cas next to him.

“Huh.” Cas startled from where Dean had blindly smacked the side of his face.

“Wake up Sunshine.”

“No, mm’sleepin.” Cas complained and pulled the blanket up over his head. That made Emma giggle. Dean smiled at her and reached for his phone. 5:46am. 14 minutes before his alarm was set to go off. Dean accepted his fate that he wouldn’t be going back to sleep and sat up, playfully throwing Emma to the foot of the bed; a loud squeal and laughter erupting from her.

“Come on Grumpy Gus.” Dean smacked Cas’s hip and stood up before yanking the blanket off his fiancé. “If I have to be up before my alarm, you have to get up with me.”

Cas grumbled and rolled over to give Dean his best bitch face. Emma crawled over the mountain of blanket and cupped the side of Cas’s stubbly face with her small hand. “Pwease Poppa. Come have bweakfast wiff us.”

Dean stifled a laugh while Cas sighed and smiled at Emma, wrapping his arms around her in a big hug. “Now how can I say no to that.”

“Alright! Breakfast, feed the horses then we have a full day of shopping to do for you.” Dean said enthusiastically as he helped Emma off the bed and handed the stuffed squirrel to her.

“Yay!” She hollered as she ran out the door and thundered down the hall, Miracle running after her.

Dean just shook his head as Cas grabbed his glasses off the nightstand and turned on the desk lamp. “That’s a lot of energy for before the sun comes up.”

“No kidding.” Dean agreed as Cas came up and pecked his lips. They walked out the door and down the hall and stairs to find Emma sitting on the floor with Miracle laying his head in her lap.

“Who’s ready for breakfast!” Dean called as he walked over to flip some lights on and then to the fridge to pull out eggs, milk, butter, and bacon. “How about some pancakes?” He asked Emma. Before she could answer Cas grumbled, “How bout some coffee first?”

Dean turns towards his grumpy lover, “Alright sweetheart, don’t get your feathers in a twist. Make some coffee, extra strong.”

“I was planning on it.” Cas turned the coffee pot on and dumped an obscene amount of coffee into it before pressing Start. “I’m sorry, I just haven’t been up this early in a few weeks.”

Dean was laying the bacon in the pan as he looked up at Cas with a charming grin. “It’s understandable.” Dean leaned in closer to Cas and stage whispered, “Although, I don’t see a late morning in your future anytime soon.” he grinned teasingly. Cas groaned and dropped his head to the cabinet, causing Dean to erupt into a full body laugh, head thrown back.  

Emma was sitting at the bar now, having managed to climb her way onto one of the stools. “I loves pancakes.”

“How about I make you a smiley face one?” Dean suggested.

She gasped, “Really!?”

“Sure can!”

“Pweeeaaassseee!” She drawled.

Cas chuckled at that, and Dean turned to look at him. He had a steaming cup of black coffee in hand, “Feel alive now?”

Cas nodded.

                                                     ----------------------------------------------------

After breakfast Dean took Emma upstairs so they could get dressed while Cas put Charlie’s breakfast in the oven to keep warm and cleaned the kitchen. Dean took Emma out with him to feed the horses and cows; he couldn’t keep the smile from his face as he watched her laugh and love on the horses and some of the sweet heifers. After Cas got dressed, he went outside to meet Dean and Emma to show her how to feed the chickens. He handed her a small basket with a hand towel in it and showed her how to gather the eggs. Once they were back inside Emma went to sit by the fire Cas put going to warm up. Charlie came down the stairs then, in her Harry Potter pajamas, yawning.

Dean look up from where he was pouring himself another cup of coffee and getting Emma some water to see Charlie shuffling into the kitchen. “Well, look who decided to join us in the land of the living.” Dean teased with a wry smile.

She flipped him the bird and stole his cup of coffee that was halfway to his mouth.

“Hey! That was mine!”

“Not anymore it’s not, ya scruffy looking nerf herder.” Charlie declared as she brought the steaming cup to her nose and breathed in the warm scent, walking towards the fireplace where Emma sat. Dean stared after her for a moment before another cup of steaming coffee was shoved into his hand. He took it with a smile and thanks to Cas.

When they all were sitting around the fire, Charlie eating her breakfast, Emma played quietly with Miracle and her stuffed Squirrel, Dean and Cas were trying to decide everything they would need for Emma. Cas had a note pad and pen in his lap taking notes and making a list.  

“Ok, so far, we have to go to a furniture store for a bed frame, nightstand, mattress, and a smaller dresser that looks like something a little girl would have. Emma? Do you like to draw and color?” Cas inquired.

Emma looked up from where she was quietly talking to the dog, “Yes. I loves to color!” She answered enthusiastically. Cas smiled at her then started writing again.

Dean leaned over to see what he was writing, “Getting a small desk for her room so she can color?” He knew the answer, but he found he was loving this whole process. Yes, he was still processing the fact that he had a child, but he found that making this list and the prospect of watching his daughter pick out stuff for her room, helping her decorate it and get her everything she needed was a very fun idea. He was excited to provide for her and learn what she likes and dislikes.

“Yes, I thought she might like her own space and it would give her a place to keep all the crayons I know you are going to bring home every time you go into town.” Cas quipped.    

“You know it sweetheart.” Dean shot him his most charming smile. Cas turned back to his notepad and continued to read.

“Clothes and shoes for the rest of winter and for this summer, décor for her room, paint, towels, bath stuff, toys, bedding, and a car seat.” He looked to Dean to see if he missed anything.

“Sounds about right to me. Got a lot of stores to hit.” Dean let out a breath. “Better take the flatbed with us if we are getting furniture.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”

                                                                        -----------------------------------------

Once Charlie was done with her breakfast, she announced she would be going to Sam’s to help Eileen with the baby for a while. It was about 9am when Dean exchanged a few texts with Cain about what needed to be done for the day and found out that Cain would be getting help from Sam. Dean breathed a sigh of relief at that, he had felt bad that Cain would be on his own, but he knew his new, reliable worker would understand. While Dean finished his correspondence, Cas went outside to get the smaller flatbed trailer hooked up to his Tundra.

Dean and Emma came outside a few minutes later, Dean lugging the car seat awkwardly on his shoulder. They walked over to the truck where Cas was checking the hitch. “I have no clue how to hook one of these up.” Dean said, holding up the car seat in question.

“Should we call Sam?” Cas asked, eyeing the car seat like it might explode.

“Nah, it’s gotta have instructions on it somewhere.” Dean opened the back door to the truck and set to trying to figure out how to install it.

Cas knew this might take a while, so he walked over to Emma, “Do you want to sit on the bed of the truck and play a game?”

She smiled brightly and nodded quickly. Cas smiled back and hoisted her onto his hip. He walked to the back of the truck and lowered the tailgate, setting Emma down on it. “This is your Daddy’s favorite game to play when he doesn’t want to do something; and he often loses.”

Emma giggled as Cas went about showing her how to play Rock, Paper, Scissors, and thumb war.

15 minutes later, several bumps on his head, and more curse words than he could count, the car seat was installed. Dean emerged a little sweaty and still swearing under his breath as he came around the back of the truck. Cas and Emma were laughing as Cas let her win yet another round of thumb war, Dean smiled.

“OK, we are ready. At least I’ll know how to install the one we buy after that hell pit.”

Cas chuckled and helped Emma off the tailgate, shutting it once she was on the ground.

“Let’s hit the road.” Cas said walking around to the passenger side to climb in the lifted truck. Dean walked Emma over to the back door and lifted her in.

“I can buckles myself in.” She said matter-of-factly.

Dean snorted in amusement. “Ok miss independent.”

He shut the door and got in the driver’s seat, starting the truck, and heading down the long driveway once he was sure his little girl was securely in her seat.

                                                   ------------------------------------------------------------

 “Dean? Are you sure we need this?” Cas asked as he eyed the expensive Batman action figure that Dean had just thrown in the cart.

“Uh yeah. How else am I supposed to play dollhouse without a badass Batman to protect it?” Dean said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Cas just rolled his eyes and followed his fiancé and new daughter down the aisle with a smile, pushing the almost overflowing cart close behind them. Cas was beginning to regret setting Dean loose in Target to get toys and clothes. But the regret quickly faded away when he saw the father/daughter bonding that was going on between Dean and Emma. He also couldn’t wait to see the excitement on Emma’s face when the dollhouse he ordered that morning comes in next weekend. (Dean didn’t know he ordered one yet.)

Cas kind of felt bad for the Batman action figure; in all its dark colors, it was drowning in a sea of pink and other brightly colored toys. Under all the toys, coloring books, crayons, and markers, was a whole new wardrobe for Emma; a couple of jackets for the rest of the winter, jeans, t-shirts, a few dresses, leggings, pj’s and about 8 pairs of shoes. They grabbed a car seat, a few decorative items and wall pictures, some colorful hooded towels and some kid friendly shampoo, conditioner and bodywash before they headed to check out.  

They had already been to the local furniture store where Dean knew the owner. He was a nice older gentleman who built handmade furniture with his son. They got Emma a twin mattress and let her pick out the furniture. She picked out a natural wood colored house inspired bedframe that Dean was going to drape a canopy from ceiling; a small four drawer dresser, a nightstand, and a six-cubby bookshelf. They also got a small desk and chair for her to color at. All the furniture was the same natural wood color that Dean and Cas could paint or stain whatever color Emma wanted. Their next stop after Target was the hardware store to buy paint.

Emma picked out a light peachy pink color for her walls that reminded Dean of the Montana sunsets. They picked up all the necessary items to paint her room and Cas had to physically drag Dean away from the tool isle much to the amusement of Emma.

Finally piling back into the truck, all their items safely stowed away, Dean looked at his watch to see that it was only 1pm.

“Alright, who’s ready for lunch?” He asked turning to look at Emma.

She squealed in excitement, “Me! Me!”

Dean and Cas smiled at each other.

“I think I know a good place.” Dean said pulling out his phone to look at his text messages. There was a text from Ellen saying that they should come by for lunch so they could meet Emma, promising hot burgers, and fries for everyone. Dean shot her a confirmation text and added. “There are some people who want to meet you.”

“Ellen promises burgers at the Roadhouse?” Cas asked, knowing his family all too well.

Dean snorted, “You know it sweetheart.” He winked at Cas as he threw the truck in drive and pulled out towards the highway.

                                                -----------------------------------------------

Dean parked the truck and trailer with precision skill before they all hopped out and hurried inside the Roadhouse, the cold wind picking up speed as the day drug on.

“Ellen!” Dean called out as he helped Emma take off her puffer jacket and gloves. He hung her jacket up then shrugged his own off just in time to see Ellen coming out of the kitchen, papers in hand and reading glasses hanging on the tip of her nose.

“Hey baby!” She called over to them as she walked behind the bar and set the papers and her glasses down; promptly pulling a tray of chips and queso from under the counter.

“Aw hell yeah!” Dean exclaimed as they reached the counter and pulled out the bar stools. Cas lifted Emma into one, she smiled up at him as he took the seat next to her, Dean sitting on the stool on the other side.

Dean had a mouthful of chips and cheesy goodness within 2.5 seconds, almost forgetting the main reason they came to the bar. He gestures for Cas to go ahead with the introduction since he’s having a hard time getting the mouthful of food down.

Cas shakes his head in amusement, Emma giggling at her father’s antics and Ellen chuckled. “Well Ellen, since Dean is so busy stuffing his face, I will introduce you.” Cas put a hand on Emma’s back as she turns slightly shy, clutching her stuffed squirrel closer to her. “This is our daughter Emma. Emma, this is Ellen, your grandma.”

Ellen leans down on her arms on the counter and with a friendly smile says, “It’s nice to meet you, Emma. Who is your friend here?” She asks, knowing the best way to break the ice for the shy child.

Emma looks from Cas to Dean; Dean smiles gently and nods in a go-ahead manner.

“Hi.” She says in almost a whisper. “This is Mr. Squirrel. He’s my bestest friend. Daddy got him for me before I was bornded.”

“Did he now?” Ellen said, sending Dean an amused smile. “That’s sweet of your daddy.”

Dean felt his face getting warm and cleared his throat. “What are the grandkids supposed to be calling you now that you’re a full blow grandma.” He asked. It was a genuine question, Emma was going to have to call her something but what Ellen’s answer was, was not what either Dean or Cas thought it would be.

“Grandma of course.” She said like there wasn’t a million other options.

“Seriously?” Dean asked, shoving another chip in his mouth then handing one to Emma. “It doesn’t make you feel old?”

“Dean.” Cas lightly scolded. Dean waves his fiancé off.

Ellen snorts and rolls her eyes. “Hey, if I’m getting the honor of being grandma to yours and Sam’s kids, I’m gonna do it right.”

Dean and Cas were laughing when Bobby came walking though the kitchen door carrying a tray full of burgers, fries and all the fixings. “Special delivery for the introduction of one special little girl.” Bobby declared in a very un-Bobby way. Dean and Cas looked at one another in confusion.

Ellen said silently, “I’ll tell you later.” With an affectionate smile.

Bobby came around the bar and stood in front of Emma’s chair as Dean turned it around to face him.

“Emma this is-“ Dean started but Bobby enthusiastically cut him off.

“Hello sweetie. My name is Bobby. I’m your grandpa.” Bobby smiled warmly and held his hand out for her to shake if she wanted to. What no one expected was for her little face to light up and for her to throw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

An “Ooff” sound left Bobby’s mouth as he caught her in his arms, squeezing her back. Dean, Cas, and Ellen all smiled at the pair, excited that Emma seemed to be talking to everyone she was meeting so well. Bobby set her back down on the stool and then clapped a hand on each of Dean and Castiel’s shoulders.

He smiled a watery smile as he looked from one to the other, then he squeezed their shoulders and muttered “Idgits.”, his voice thick with emotion.

Dean and Cas knew what this meant, Bobby was proud of them both and it seemed he was ecstatic to become a grandfather again. Dean wiped a stray tear from his eye when he thought no one would notice but of course, Cas had. They shared an intensely happy gaze for a moment before both turning to the steaming food in front of them. Bobby and Ellen pulled up bar stools on the other side of the bar so they all could talk comfortably. Cas put some fries on Emma’s plate as Dean fixed her burger for her the way she liked it, which happened to be the same way Dean ate him; Full of cheese, bacon, ketchup, a slice of tomato and only enough lettuce to make it seem healthier.

Cas fondly rolled his eyes at how alike they were. They let Emma do the talking while they ate, enjoying listening to her recount their day from her perspective and how much she already loved her Daddy and Poppa. It warmed everyone’s heart, Ellen having to excuse herself to go wipe the tears from her eyes. Once they were done Bobby ushered Emma over to the family booth to show her the gift he made her.

“What’s with Danny Tanner over there?” Dean asked Ellen, pointing towards Bobby.

Ellen chuckled, “That man has been so excited to add another baby into this family since I told him you had a daughter.” She smiled fondly at her husband who was handing a hand carved wooden horse to Emma, the little girl’s eyes lighting up in happiness.

“We are all so happy for you and Cas.” she added, resting a hand on each of theirs.

“We’re pretty stoked about it.” Dean said at the same time Cas said, “I couldn’t be happier.”

Ellen beamed at them both. “You better get going if you’re going to get that little girl’s room somewhat set up today.”

Dean glanced at his watch and agreed. “Yeah, we should get going.”

Cas nodded and stood to go get Emma. Dean was pulling on his coat when Ellen walked up to him holding a box that looked to be full of stuff from his childhood.

“Dean, I forgot to tell you; I found this the other day when I was looking through some boxes in the attic. It’s just some stuff from when you were a kid. Trophy’s, and knickknacks. Thought you might want to go through it.”

Dean took the box with a smile, nostalgia hitting him at the sight of his little league baseball trophy sticking out at the top. “Thanks Ellen.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek as Cas, Emma, and Bobby came up to them.

“Ready to go?” Dean asked as Cas, Emma and Bobby walked up.

Cas nodded and Emma frowned slightly, clearly not ready to leave her newfound grandparents. But they had a room to decorate, and horses and cows to feed. It was time to head home.

They piled into the truck and started for the ranch. Cas was distracted the whole ride home. He was emailing back and forth with an animal rescue about a possible herding dog placement for Dean. Cas was keeping it on the down low, wanting to surprise Dean with what he thought would be the perfect dog to accompany him while he worked the cattle. Emma had fallen asleep on the ride back. Once Dean parked in front of the house, he gently pulled her still sleeping, from her new car seat. Cas held the front door open as Dean walked inside and towards the couch. He laid her down and pulled the throw blanket he kept in the living room over her; making sure she had her stuffed squirrel before he headed back out to the truck to unload with Cas.

They unloaded all the furniture, leaving it lined up against the wall in the long hallway upstairs, then brought in all the bags of toys, clothes, décor, and the toy box and set them at the bottom of the stairs. It was too late in the day to start painting, they agreed they should leave that for the coming weekend. They moved the existing furniture out of Emma’s room and moved her new furniture in. They put the dresser against the wall with the door on it, the house inspired bed was situated in the middle against the left wall with the nightstand next to it; the small desk and chair were in front of the floor to ceiling windows that lined the back wall, the six-shelf cubby sat in-between the bathroom door and the closet door on the right wall.

“Damn it! We forgot to get a rug.” Dean cursed.

Cas chuckled and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist. “I’ll order her one.”

“I knew I loved you for a reason.” Dean hummed, turning to kiss his fiancé.

Dean looked at his watch, “It’s getting late. Why don’t I go make dinner and you and Emma can put her bed things on the bed and maybe unbox some of the toys we got.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Cas agreed, slapping Dean’s ass as he turned to walk out of the room.

Dean yipped in surprise and turned to glare at his fiancé who just threw his head back and laughed. Dean would get him back for that eventually.

They headed down the stairs, Dean going straight to the kitchen to see what he could fix for dinner while Cas went to the living room to wake Emma up. Cas sat on the edge of the couch next to Emma and ran a hand through her hair.

“Emma. Wake up sweetie.” He said softly.

She stirred, stretching her arms above her head, cracking one eye open as she stretched.

“Hi poppa.” She said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes with her knuckles.

He smiled affectionately down at her. “Hi baby. Wanna come help me unpack your toys and put the sheets on your bed while Daddy makes dinner?”

“Uhuh.” She nods and sits up quickly. She grabs her squirrel and hops off the couch. Cas stands up and they head upstairs.

Cas and Emma pulled the Tags off the stuffed toys and put them in cloth toybox they got at target. They put the mint green sheets on the bed and Cas finished making the bed with the white comforter that had little pink unicorns on it. They had let Emma pick out her bedding as well and they thought she did a pretty good job. Cas made small conversation with her, talking about different things she liked and if she liked all the stuff they had gotten her. So far, everything was a hit. She was excited to get her room painted and play with all her toys.

“Cas! Emma! Dinners ready!” Cas heard Dean call them from the stairs.

“Coming!” Cas called back as Emma jumped up and ran full speed out the door and down the hallway.

Cas laughed as he watched her go. She really had brought a new brightness and life into the quiet house. They came down the stairs and Emma ran straight to Dean, wrapping her arms around his legs as he looked down at her with a fond smile, doing his best to one handedly hug her back while he held a ladle in the other.

Cas looked after the two and smiled; it had only really been one day, and he loved seeing this new side to Dean. He knew it was there if Dean was only given the chance to explore fatherhood. Cas also loved the feeling of being a dad. Every time Emma called him Poppa, it warmed his heart.

Cas walked up to Dean and put a hand on his hip as he handed Emma a bowl full of French bread and sent her into the dining room.

“You are such a good father.” Cas complimented him with a soft smile as Dean turned in his arms.

“You think so?” Dean questioned, then pecked Cas’s lips.

Cas could hear the slight self-doubt in Dean’s voice.

“Yes, and you’re only going to get better.”

Dean beamed then said, “Come on. Dinners getting cold.” He smacked Cas on the ass and turned to grab the pan full of spaghetti. “Grab the salad, will ya?”

Cas’s eyes widened as he looked at the offending bowl of salad sitting on the counter. “You… Dean Winchester, the man who on multiple occasions has argued for twenty minutes with Sam about why salad sucks, made a salad without any sort of forcing.” Cas quirked a questioning eyebrow.

“W – well yeah. I mean I’m a dad now and I gotta set a good example, right?” Dean chuckled.

“Yes, a good example must be set.” Cas tried not to laugh.

“We both know I’m just gonna dump a shit ton of ranch on top of it but it’s the principal of the thing.” Dean stuck his tongue out and flipped Cas off. Cas threw his head back in laughter as he shook his head and grabbed the bowl of salad to follow Dean into the dining room.

Dean sat down next to Emma at the head of the table with Cas on his other side, across from Emma. Miracle came in to lay under Dean’s feet. He plated some spaghetti, bread and a small salad for Emma then made his own plate. He had brought two beers for him and Cas and some apple juice for Emma before he called them down for dinner. They talked about what they were going to do the next day; painting Emma’s room, tending to the cattle and horses, meeting Sam and Eileen finally, and Emma asked to make snow angels to which Dean agreed to immediately.

They were clearing off the table after dinner when Dean’s phone pinged with a text. He put the plate he was carrying in the sink and dug his phone from his pocket. It was Charlie.

CHARLIE: Hey bitch! I’m really enjoying helping Eileen with Robby so I’m gonna stay over here one more night. Give you a little more time to get settled.

Dean chuckled, he loved that Charlie was so much like family that even his brother and wife were really good friends and loved having her over.

DEAN: That’s good. I’m sure they are loving having you there. We are pretty much settled though so if you want to come back over you can.

CHARLIE: Really?! That’s great! I’m glad Emma is feeling at home. She’s so sweet. I’ll be over in the morning to annoy your ass again.

DEAN: Sam and Eileen are coming over in the morning to officially meet Emma so just tag along with them! Love you.

CHARLIE: I know 😉

Dean smiled and pocketed his phone before turning to the dishes in the sink.

Cas sidled up behind Dean and kissed his neck. “Let me do these. You go get Emma ready for bed and I’ll be up when I’m done.”

“Thanks babe.” Dean kissed Cas before going into the living room to get Emma.

Thirty minutes later, Cas was done cleaning the kitchen and Dean was done getting Emma ready for bed. Cas was halfway up the stairs when he heard Emma giggling and Dean making dinosaur sounds. When he rounded the corner into her room, he burst out laughing. Dean was holding two toy dinosaurs, creating an epic brawl with them as he made the T-rex fight the Triceratops. He made all the sound effects and seemed to be enjoying himself as he entertained his daughter.

Dean jerked his head up at the sound of Castiel’s laughter, immediately smiling as he made the Triceratops deliver the final blow to the T-rex.

Cas walked over to the bed and sat on the opposite edge from Dean. “What ever happened to a relaxing bedtime story?” He teased.

Dean chucked the two toys into the toy box across the room. “I’ll save those for you.”

Cas rolled his eyes fondly.

“Alright princess, time to go to sleep.” Dean smiled at Emma as he threw the toys back in the toybox.

She frowned and nodded right before a big yawn took over her tiny face.

Cas leaned down and kissed her forehead, “Goodnight Emma.”

“Night Poppa.” She whispered.

Dean leaned in next, running a soothing hand through her hair before placing a kiss to the top of her head. “We love you. Come get us if you need us.”

She nodded and pulled the blanket and her stuffed squirrel closer. “Love you too daddy and poppa.”

They both stood up and walked over to the door right when Miracle trotted inside and hopped up onto the foot of her bed, curling up and resting his head on her legs. They both smiled at the beautiful sight before them. Cas walked into the hall as Dean flipped off the light and cracked the door open about a foot. They made their way to their room across the hall in silence before Dean remembered something.

“Oh! Ellen gave me a box full of stuff from when I was a kid. It’s still in the truck. I’m gonna go grab it and we can go through all my baseball trophies.” Dean announced excitedly.

Cas chuckled, “How many did you win?”

Dean shrugged as he backed out the door. “A lot.” He concluded with a wink before turning and heading out to the truck to grab the box.

When he came back into the bedroom, Cas was already in his sweats and a T-shirt, sitting in bed waiting for him. Dean set the box at the foot of the bed and sat down next to Cas. He pulled out the first tee-ball trophy and held it up, “I won this at 4 years old. Well, the whole team got one for winning the last game of the season.”

Cas smiled and took the dusty trophy to look at it. Dean pulled out a few more trophies and ribbons, some for basketball and a few more for baseball along with some ribbons from the camp he went to as a kid. They talked about them, and Dean told a funny story about his dad almost getting into a fight with a referee when he didn’t agree with John about a call on Dean’s little league baseball team when John was coaching it.

“Sounds like your dad was very involved in your life when you were a kid.” Castiel said behind a chuckle left over from the story.

Dean nodded, “Yeah he was amazing until mom died.” Dean trailed off as he lowered his head solemnly and dug around the box some more. “I don’t ever want to turn into what he did.” He mumbled quietly.

Cas reached his hand out to cup Dean’s face, turning him to face him. “You won’t.” He stated matter-of-factly, then teasingly, “Besides, if something ever did happen to me, I would come back and haunt your ass to keep you in line.”

Dean snorted, “I don’t doubt it.”

After a few more meaningless nicknacks were brought up; the dinosaur themed alarm clock that had sat on his childhood nightstand, and a small piggy bank with three pennies in it, Dean reached the bottom of the box and pulled out a small velvet box.

“What’s this?” Cas asked curiously, the box looked fancy, like it had come from a luxury jewelry shop.

Dean gazed at it confusedly, “I don’t really remember. I know my mom had a few pieces of expensive jewelry that my dad had scrimped and saved to buy her, but I don’t know why this box would be in with a bunch of my things.”

Dean shrugged then gently shook the box, the contents of the box making itself known. For some reason Dean felt slightly nervous about what might be inside it. He vaguely recognized the box. He slowly opened it to reveal two bracelets.

“Holy shit.” He and Cas mumbled simultaneously.

Inside were the friendship bracelets they had made each other at camp that year. Both looked exactly as they had the day they made them. Dean was flooded with the memory of finding Castiel’s on the floor under the bunk and then his mother giving him this box to keep them in, and Cas was recalling all the sleepless, tear-filled nights once he got home after realizing he had lost the only thing that could’ve connected him to Dean.

“I-I thought I lost this and would never see it again.” Cas said in awe as he picked up the one that Dean had made for him. It was the usual friendship bracelet design, a mix of white, black, and green threads. And the one Castiel made for Dean was identical in design except it was white, black, and blue threads.

“Yeah, after I was told that your dad came and took you away, I went back to our cabin and sat on your bunk and cried. When I was packing my stuff to go home, I looked under the bed to make sure I didn’t lose anything and there it was. I guess it had gotten knocked off the nightstand when they packed your stuff up for you. I put it on my wrist and took it home. I remember now that when I told my mom why I had two, she gave me this box to keep them in. They sat on my nightstand for years Cas.” Dean leaned into him.

Castiel kissed his forehead, “I’m so glad you found it. I’m going to get a small display and put them on my desk if you don’t mind.” Castiel commented.

Dean lifted his head and smiled at Castiel. “Fine by me sweetheart.” He then kissed Cas deeply. Dean broke the kiss and looked at Cas fondly, “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“Me too love.” Cas agreed.

Dean put the rest of his childhood belongings in the box and put it at the top of his closet; he would figure out what he wanted to do with that stuff later. Castiel placed the box with the bracelets in it on his nightstand and smiled to himself. A hole in his heart that he didn’t know still existed seemed to have been filled by finding those. He would have to thank Ellen for giving Dean the box the next time he saw her.

Dean changed into some shorts and an old T-shirt then came back and crawled up Castiel’s body until he could reach the lamp and flip it off. When the room fell dark, Castiel found himself being engulfed by his lover’s large arms and warm, soft lips met his. They made out for what felt like hours, just enjoying the feeling of being adored by one another. They fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.

Content.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 3

Getting You Home

The next day Sam and Eileen came over to meet Emma with Robbie in tow.

“Emma, this is your uncle Sam, aunt Eileen, and this is your cousin, Robbie.” Dean introduced them to Emma who was hiding in his shoulder.

She was shy with Sam which was understandable considering how he towered over her. She liked Eileen immediately, and she was in awe of Robbie. She was currently sitting next to Eileen with Robbie in her lap, Eileen coaching her on how to hold the wiggly baby and answering questions she had. Sam was standing next to the bar looking at the adorable sight that Emma, Eileen, and Robbie made.

“Don’t worry, she will come around and you will be her favorite uncle.” Dean said as he sidled up next to his brother and handed him a beer.

Sam chuckled, “I think my height frightened her.”

“I’m sure it did, there’s a reason Crowley calls you Moose, Samsquatch.” Dean teased.

Sam rolled his eyes, “Jerk.”

“Bitch.” Dean quipped back as he sipped his beer.

Dean looked around the room, Sam by his side, Castiel, the love of his life was in the kitchen stirring the stew that Dean had put going two hours ago; Charlie mixing a batch of cornbread, Eileen and Emma bonding over Robbie, and Ellen, Bobby, and Jo were on their way to have lunch with them. Dean smiled. This was his life, this was his reality, and he wouldn’t change it for anything. he looked over at Cas and winked at him, Cas smiled back and a feeling of immense happiness and loved washed over Dean.

This is what he always dreamed of. A family built on love and trust. This was his paradise.

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A few days after Emma’s arrival, Dean got up the courage to ask Cas how he was feeling about the whole situation. Although he was confident he knew the answer from watching the loving way Cas interacted with her and smiled at her, he still needed Cas to say it out loud. He walked up behind Cas and wrapped his arms around him while resting his head on Cas’s shoulder one afternoon when he was making them sandwiches for lunch. “Hey sweetheart.”

Cas beamed and leaned his head against Dean’s as he put mayo on Dean’s sandwich. “Hello Dean. What’s your question?”

“How do you know I wanted to ask you something?” Dean asked, surprised.

Cas chuckled and put the lid on the jar of mayo, then turned in Dean’s arms to face him and wrap his arms around Dean’s neck. “I spend every day with you, I could tell by your voice.”

“Ah. Well, I do have a question.”

“What’s that my love?” Cas asked as he placed a chaste kiss on Dean’s lips.

“How do you really feel about all this?” Dean asked hesitantly.

Cas just grinned from ear to ear, “I couldn’t be happier.”

Dean let out the breath he was holding, “That’s what I thought, I just needed to make sure.”

“Of course, love. You had a past before me, everyone has a past. Your past just happened to give us the greatest surprise anyone could ask for.” Cas said sincerely.

Dean looked over to where Emma was sitting in the living room playing with the Legos they bought her. “She really is the best isn’t she.”

“mhhmm. Now that you have that sorted out, let me get lunch finished so you’re not late meeting Cain.” Cas smacked Dean’s ass with a smirk and turned back to finish the sandwiches.

“Fine.” Dean grumbled good-naturedly, admired his fiancés fine ass in his tight jeans, then went to make some tea.

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POV: Switch

The rest of that first week with Emma consisted of painting and decorating her room, getting to know her, and trying to find a new dynamic that worked for them with the ranch work load that Cas and Dean still had on their plate. At the end of the first week, Elleanor Visyak came back to get the car seat she loaned Dean and to make sure Emma was settling in well. She was surprised to see everything Dean and Castiel had managed to get done and, she was very pleased. She gave Dean her personal number in case they ever needed anything, and she bid them goodbye.

Emma seemed happy, and Dean and Cas were glad for that. But they also knew that she had just lost her mother, the only person she had known that loved her for so long. They both wanted to make sure that she felt like she could talk to them if she ever felt sad, and to make sure she was happy. Though they didn’t want her to forget her mother. Emma had the four photo booth pictures of him and Lydia and the one picture of Lydia holding her right after she was born. Other than that, she didn’t have any more pictures of her mother. and Dean was hoping and praying to whatever god would listen that inside the letter from her mother on her 16^th birthday, that there might be at least one more picture of Lydia. Dean knew that as she got older, her memory of her mother would fade because of the age she was when she lost her. But until her 16^th birthday, they would do whatever they could to make sure she felt safe, happy, and loved by them, and to know that Lydia didn’t leave her on purpose.

Cas and Dean called Gabriel, Chuck, and Michael once everything had settled down to let the new uncles and grandfather know about Emma. All were so happy for them and couldn’t wait to meet her. They promised to bring her to New York soon so they could meet her. This was the first time Castiel had thought of his mother since he had last seen her. He hadn’t had any contact with her, and he would prefer to keep it that way. But seeing Emma with Ellen made him wish his mother was a decent person, Emma deserved to have as many loving people in her life as possible. But sadly, Naomi would never be one of those people. Castiel doubted she would ever know that Emma existed considering he didn’t have any plans to contact her. Cas couldn’t even imagine his mother as a grandmother. He was sure she would be the same way as when he was a child; cruel. So, he pushed the idea to the back of his mind and didn’t give his mother another thought.

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Now brings us to the morning of Sunday, January 23, 2011, the day before Dean’s birthday. Dean hated the fact that his birthday wasn’t on a weekend every year. He was exhausted from the past few weeks of trying to juggle the ranch and Emma, though Castiel was a major help, and he was grateful for him. He wouldn’t change his life for anything in the world, even with how exhausted he was. It hadn’t even been a month since Emma came into their lives and yet Dean and Cas now couldn’t imagine a time without her. she brought light and life into the ranch that neither one knew was missing. They were getting some sort of routine figured out, but it still wasn’t easy. They were both eternally thankful that they hired Cain when they did.

Emma hung out with Cas and helped him tend to the chickens and make supply runs while Dean and Cain worked on the new pasture fencing. Dean couldn’t wait to be able to teach her how to build things, but it was just too cold outside for her. Cas was taking this time to talk to the herding dog rescue he had been in contact with over the last two months. They emailed him about a dog that they thought would be perfect for Dean last week and today was the day he went and picked him up. Normally Castiel would never buy an animal for someone without them knowing about it. But he had been dropping hints about it to Dean over the last couple of weeks and Dean had agreed he needed some k-9 help after a particularly difficult situation with the cows a few weeks back that could’ve been prevented if there would’ve been a good cattle dog there to help.

They had just finished breakfast when Cas walked over to Dean where he was doing the dishes and said, “Emma is coloring in her room, and I’m off to run to town.” He gave Dean a quick kiss.

“Alright sweetheart. Going to pick up my birthday present?” Dean raised an eyebrow questioningly, knowing Cas would never tell him even if he was.

“No, I have to help Ellen with some things for your party tonight and pickup an order for the ranch.” Cas stated as he pulled on his large coat. It wasn’t entirely a lie, he did have to help Ellen, and the dog was just as much for the ranch as a present for Dean.

“Mhm, alright well be careful.” Dean didn’t quite believe him, but he wasn’t going to pester him.

“I’ll be back before the party so don’t leave without me.” Cas called as he walked out the door.

He chuckled as he heard Dean’s grunted response. Castiel’s first stop was the local feed and pet store where he bought the leather collar that Dean had told him he liked a few weeks back, along with a nameplate that they could bring back and engrave after they figured out a name, and a dog bed. He then headed to the rescue where he would be meeting the dog for the first time.

Cas was met by a short, blonde woman when he walked through the door of the rescue. She led him into the back of the building where they had rooms set up for meeting the dogs. She gave him the story on the dog while someone went to get him from his kennel. Castiel had seen pictures of the dog before and thought he was beautiful and unique but meeting him in person was a whole different story, he was absolutely gorgeous. Cas didn’t think he had ever seen a dog with his markings before. He was a Border Collie/Australian Shepherd mix. His coloring was Blue Merle, a whitish grey color with black spots of various sizes covering his body and his chest was white. He had one striking blue eye and one dark brown eye.

The handler showed Castiel all the training the dog had and Castiel was very impressed. Then he asked the question that he was itching to ask. Why was this very well-trained dog in a rescue? When they told him, he couldn’t help but think that this was meant to be Dean’s dog. He immediately wanted him. So, they leashed the dog up and they all went to the front desk to finalize the adoption. After all the paperwork was signed, Cas took the leash from the employee and with a smile and a wave, left the building very excited with the dog trotting next to him. He loaded up into the truck and headed out to the Roadhouse to help Ellen.

                                                ---------------------------------------------------------------

“Ellen!” Castiel called as he walked through the door of the roadhouse. He took the slip lead off the dog and told him to heel. He smiled as he and the dog walked over to the bar where there was a box of decorations sitting on the bar top.

“Hey, baby. Did you get the dog?” Ellen asked as she came through the door and leaned against the opposite side of the bar.

Cas smiled and looked down at the dog at his side, “I did.”

He then proceeded to show Ellen all the dogs training and how sweet and loving he was.

“Cas, he’s perfect. Dean’s going to love him.” Ellen assured him with a fond smile and a hand to his shoulder. That’s when Cas knew without a doubt, that he made the right decision.

                                                 ----------------------------------------------------------------

POV: DEAN

Castiel had been gone not even ten minutes before Dean’s phone was ringing. He quickly dried his hands and pulled the phone out of his pocket. He hadn’t expected it to be who it was, there was a handful of people he expected it to be, but one of them was not his vet, Fergus Crowley. For a split-second Dean ran through the reasons he would be calling, but he wasn’t expected any test results or late with any vaccines, so he was confused. He answered it before it ended.

“Crowley, what do I owe the pleasure?” Dean answered.

“Squirrel! I have a problem that needs the Winchester special touch.” Crowley grumbled out over the sound of loud barking.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes as he walked into the living room and sat on the couch. “Crowley, the last time I helped you with a problem I ended up with a goat that enjoyed using my ass as his own personal ramming target every chance he got.”

“It’s nothing like that. I promise.”

“I don’t know Crowley. What’s the problem?”

“Just come down to the clinic and I will explain everything.” Crowley promised.

“Fine. I’ll be there in an hour.” Dean gritted out and hung up.

“What did I just get myself into?” Dean asked himself as he stood and walked up the stairs to get Emma.

“Emma?” Dean said as he pushed her door the rest of the way open and leaned against the door frame. She was sitting at her desk coloring when she looked up with a huge smile.

“Hi daddy! I made this for you.” She held up the piece of paper she was coloring.

Dean pushed off the door frame and walked over to her and squatted down, taking the picture with a smile. “This is great baby. I love it.”

“Thanks. It’s you and Zeppin.” Dean thought it was adorable that she couldn’t say Zeppelin correctly and called his horse Zeppin.  

“We will put it on the fridge for everyone to see.” Dean told her.

“Yay!” she threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug.

When she let go, Dean said, “Hey, we gotta run to town quickly. Can you get your boots and jacket on?”

She nodded furiously as she hopped off the chair she was sitting on and ran down the stairs. Dean chuckled and stood up slowly with a groan, his knees cracking the whole way.

10 minutes later, the picture Emma drew was on the fridge and they were out the door and loading up into the Tundra. The 45-minute drive consisted of Dean and Emma rocking out to his classic rock playlist he had to make on his phone for the newer truck. His cassettes stayed in Baby.

When they pulled into the clinic, Emma asked, “Daddy, where are we?”

“We are at the doctor that takes care of all our animals. A vet.” Dean explained as he helped her hop out of the truck.

“Oh. Ok.” She skipped next to him as they entered the building. The minute they walked in the door they could hear the loud howling and barking coming from the kennel area.

“Hey hot shot.” A short woman with black hair said from the other side of the reception desk.

“Hey Meg. Where’s Crowley?” Dean addressed her.

“He’s finishing up some shots on a horse. You can go back but it’s loud. Got a surrender that hasn’t quit screaming since he came in.” She grimaced.

“Yeah, I hear him. Thanks Meg.” Dean grabbed Emma’s hand and pushed through the door leading into the exam area.

“Crowley!” Dean yelled over the howling as they walked towards the equine exam rooms.

“In here Squirrel!” Crowley called.

Dean took a right into the oversized room that had a garage door that opened into an enclosed area that kept the horses safe in case one got scared. Crowley was washing his hands as an owner was leading their horse out of the exam room.

“Alright I’m here. What’s the problem?” Dean asked.

“Hello to you too. And can’t you hear it making itself known?” Crowley grumbled as he dried his hands.

Dean’s eyes widened in realization. “No, absolutely not. I don’t need a dog that has a bunch of issues, I need a dog that can herd cattle ok. Plus, I have a kid now.” He gestured to Emma. She turned and hid against his leg.

“Oh, hi sweetie.” Crowley greeted her with a smile. “I didn’t know you had a kid Dean.”

“It’s a long story. And quit trying to distract me from what you are wanting me to do.”

Crowley snorted, “I never! At least come meet him. Please. I’m begging you Dean, and I don’t beg.”

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine.”

Crowley smiled and led them back through the building and to the other side where the kennels were at. They stayed in silence as the howling continued to get louder. Finally, they came to a kennel where a beautiful, large German Shepherd was laying on a blanket in the corner, head thrown back and howling mercilessly.

“He’s been like that since he was brought in a few weeks ago.” Crowley said.

“You have trained animals that I thought would be damn near impossible and you’re telling me that you can’t help this dog?” Dean asked astounded. He’d known Crowley for a long time, and aside from being a fantastic veterinarian, he was also a successful behavior specialist that worked with the most difficult of animals; so, this one stumped Dean.

“I’ve had him for several weeks and he isn’t getting better, if anything he’s worse. I’ve taken him home with me, I’ve taken him other places. He’s well-mannered and does exactly what is asked of him, but he just seems to have lost his will to live. When he quit eating two days ago, I decided to call in the reinforcements, you.” Crowley explained, sadness lacing the last of his words.

Dean took pity on his friend, and he felt sorry for the dog that was so clearly depressed. “There’s nothing physically wrong with him?” Dean asked. Wanting to rule out everything. The howling continued.

“I’ve run every test imaginable. That dog is in perfect health.”

“What’s his story?” Dean asked as Emma let his hand go and walked to stand in front of the kennel for a better look.

Crowley sighed, “He’s only two years old. His owner trained him as a personal protection dog but died right after his training was completed. From what I understand the old man had no family and he spent every moment with him since he picked him up at 8 weeks old. The man’s lawyer brought him in, he’s a client of mine and knew I would be willing to help.”

“That’s sad. So, he essentially lost his best friend and isn’t handling it well.” Dean said, keeping an eye on Emma as she squatted down in front of the kennel.

“Precisely. I wanted to see if he would respond to you. Animals tend to love you.” Crowley explained.

“I’ll give it a try.” Dean agreed. When they both looked down, they were shocked to find that they hadn’t notice the howling had stopped and the dog was standing at the front of the kennel trying desperately to lick Emma through the gate.

“Well, that’s the first time he’s initiated human interaction.” Crowley said in surprise.

Dean squatted down next to Emma and slowly put the back of his hand against the kennel gate. The dog sniffed it for a moment before gently licking his hand. Dean smiled as Emma let out a quiet giggle.

“Hey buddy. Wanna come home with us?” Dean said in almost a whisper.

Emma heard him though and put her hands on her face and quietly but excitedly said, “Yes daddy please!”

Dean chuckled before standing and opening the gate and stepping through to make sure the dog would be ok with him and Emma. Emma stood next to Crowley on the other side while Dean squatted back down to offer the back of his hand to the dog. The dog sniffed him again before his tail started to wag the smallest bit. Dean slowly reached out and scratched under the dog’s chin. He seemed to melt into Dean’s arms at that, his body relaxing, clearly exhausted.

“What’s his name?” Dean asked.

“The Colonel.” Crowley answered simply.

“Hey Colonel. Let’s get outta here, what do ya say?” Dean asked the dog with a playful smile. The Colonel barked his approval. Dean laughed then let Emma come in to see how they would interact with each other. The Colonel immediately started licking her face and whining as Emma laughed and hugged his neck.

“I’ll be damned. Looks like he just wanted a family.” Crowley mused in disbelief.

“Sometimes that’s all it takes. You got an extra leash?” Dean asked.

“Of course. I’ll be back with the adoption papers too.” Crowley ran to his office and was back in a few minutes. Dean signed the adoption papers and ownership transfer papers. Crowley waved the normal adoption fee; he was just happy The Colonel had a home and seemed like he would be happy. Crowley thanked Dean and they went outside to load up in the truck. Once Dean had Emma in the car seat, The Colonel jumped right in the backseat next to her with no hesitation. Dean chuckled and shook his head.

“Let’s go get this boy a collar and tags.” Dean said once in the truck.

He drove to the nearest pet store, it wasn’t the one he usually went to since that one was on the other side of town and they needed to get back to the ranch, but it would do. Dean walked The Colonel as Emma ran down to the collar and leash isle to pick one out. Since this dog seemed to really love Emma, Dean let her pick out his things. She picked a blue leather collar with a matching leash and a large dog bed. They got a silver name plate and engraved it with his name, Dean and Castiel’s phone numbers, and the ranches address. The Colonel found a stuffed lamb toy that he carried around the store, so Dean decided to buy it for him as well.

They got back home right at lunch time. Dean opened the back door to the truck and let Colonel out before helping Emma climb down. Dean was surprised to find the dog sitting next to him facing the other direction, like he was watching his back. This reminded Dean of what Crowley had said. The Colonel was a trained personal protection dog but that’s all the information they had. Dean would have to figure out all his commands himself. He made a mental note to text Crowley to see if he knew any of the commands and if there were any books he could recommend to help him with learning what the dog might have been trained on.

They walked towards the house through the few inches of snow that covered the ground. They were met at the door by Miracle who always loved dogs, so Dean wasn’t worried about their introduction.

“Hey Miracle. Meet your new brother, The Colonel.” Dean said as he shut the door behind them and started to help Emma out of her coat. The two dogs started to sniff one anther and then started playing, running further into the house and around the furniture. Emma held the bag with the collar, leash, nameplate, and toy in it. They didn’t get a food bowl since Dean had a few extra ones just in case.

“Take that into the kitchen, I’ll go grab the bed.” Dean told her. She nodded and ran into the kitchen to climb into one of the barstools. Dean ran out to the truck and grabbed the overly large dog bed. He brought it inside and set it on the other side of the fireplace like Miracle’s bed. Dean then went into the kitchen to make some homemade pizzas for lunch for them while Emma watched some cartoons and played with her dolls. While Dean prepped the pizzas, he wracked his brain for a way to explain to Cas how they ended up with a dog that had the opposite training of a herding dog like they had discussed several months ago.

He decided to blame his big heart.

                                               -------------------------------------------------------

POV: SWITCH

Once Castiel had finished helping Ellen, he loaded himself and the herding dog up into the old truck and headed to the ranch. He was planning on surprising Dean with him before they headed back to the roadhouse. Castiel was smiling the whole drive back to the ranch, the dog was napping in the seat next to him, snoring loudly. When he pulled onto the ranch driveway, Cas reached over and scratched the dogs head to wake him up. He sat up and looked out the window, tail wagging as he seemed to know he was home.

Cas parked the old truck next to the Tundra and got out, the dog walking as close to him as he possibly could get. Cas grabbed onto the collar of the dog that now had a bright red bow attached to it and opened the door. He peeked in first to see where Dean was. Thankfully, Dean didn’t seem to be in the living room or kitchen, and Cas noticed the office door was shut which wasn’t the usual. Cas walked the rest of the way into the foyer and closed the door. He quietly told the dog to sit and took off his coat.

He then grabbed back onto the collar and walked further into the house before saying, “Dean! I have a surprise for you!”

“Coming Cas!” Dean yelled from the other side of the office door. Exactly where Cas thought he and Emma might be. The door cracked open slowly without Dean coming out.

“I have a surprise for you too actually.” Dean said still from inside the room. Cas thought he and Emma must’ve been working on one of those giant coloring sheets Dean insisted on buying, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. Emma came out of the room first, a big smile already on her face until she looked over at Cas and gasped at the sight of another dog. Cas put a finger over his lips in a shushing gesture and she smiled and nodded her head as she waited for Dean.

“On three we show each other at the same time.” Dean suggested.

Cas rolled his eyes playfully, “Ok, Dean. One.”

“Two!” Dean called.

“Three!” they said simultaneously, and Dean ran out of the room with – Is that a German Shepherd? Cas thought completely stunned. And if Dean’s face said anything, he was just as stunned as Castiel was.

“Why do you have a dog?” they asked each other together.

“You go first…. No, you go first.” They kept saying the same thing at the same time. They both burst out laughing at their predicament and sighed.

“Truce. You go first.” Dean gestured towards the dog Cas had a hold of. Dean wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly why Castiel had the dog. It was his birthday present but also to help with the ranch. Dean gestured for Emma to come take ahold of The Colonel’s collar, telling him to sit and stay, Dean walked up to Cas and kissed him gently with a small smile.

“Happy birthday. I got you a herding dog to help with the cows.” Castiel explained.

Dean smiled wider and said, “Thank you Cas.” He squatted down to greet the dog who was wagging his tail like crazy. “He’s beautiful. Can’t wait to see what he can do.” he scratched under the dogs chin.

Cas smiled and let the feeling of uncertainty fall away. He knew there was a good reason why they now had three dogs, he just needed Dean to tell him. “I’m glad. He’s very impressive and will make a great addition to the family.”

Dean stood and hugged Castiel, “I’m sure he will.”

When Dean stepped back Cas asked, “Can you please tell me where you got that dog?” he let go of the herding dogs’ collar and pointed to The Colonel.

Dean chuckled and scratched the back of his neck, a nervous habit that to Cas, meant that Dean didn’t mean to acquire the German Shepherd.

“Well, it wasn’t on purpose.” Dean started.

Castiel raised a questioning eyebrow while Emma giggled while watching all three dogs get to know each other and play. Miracle had come over from his bed in the living room to see what was going on.

Dean sighed, “Crowley called and said he had a problem he needed help with but didn’t say what it was.”

Cas snorted in amusement. “Oh boy. Did you forget what happened last time you agreed to take one of his “problems”?” Castiel’s use of physical air quotes made Dean smile. He always thought that quirk was adorable.

“At first, I told him absolutely not and reminded him of the goat incident. But Cas, after hearing his story and seeing him, I couldn’t just leave him there.”

“What’s his story?” Cas asked curiously. He was in no way mad that Dean brought the dog home, he just wanted to understand what made Dean agree to taking him on.

“He’s actually pretty cool. He is a trained personal protection dog, but his owner died right after his training was finished. Crowley said a lawyer dropped him off because the guy had no family. Crowley’s had him for several weeks and the dog just wasn’t getting better no matter what he tried, he even quit eating. Enter me and Emma. He seemed to fall in love with Emma right away and liked me too. So here we are.” Dean explained with a shrug.

“Wow. Poor guy. He lost his only friend and was in a strange place all of a sudden.” Cas mused as he and Dean now watched The Colonel lay next to Emma by the fireplace while Miracle and the herding dog wrestled nearby.

“He just seemed to want a family. He’s only two years old and is a completely different dog since we walked through that door only a few hours ago. I have to do some research and see if I can find out where he was trained. All we know is what he was trained to do but I have no idea what his commands are.”

“I’m glad you got him. He will fit in well here, I think. I’ll call around to some trainers to see if I can find anything. what’s his name?” Castiel asked.

“The Colonel. Crowley gave me the card for the lawyer. Maybe he can help. See if there was anything in the guy’s home files.” Dean pulled out his wallet and handed the card to Cas.

“I’ll look into it.”

“Now. Tell me about my amazing birthday present that is currently trying to herd Miracle.” Dean said and nodded towards the dogs in the kitchen. They both laughed heartily as they watched Miracle and the new dog run around the kitchen island in circles.

“He’s a mix of Border Collie and Australian shepherd. He was a part of an accidental litter when his dad jumped the fence and bred with the neighbors Border Collie. He’s a fully trained herding dog and very impressive from what I’ve seen.” Cas started.

“Why was he in the shelter then?” Dean asked, confused why a talented animal would be there.

“He was bought by a rancher up state as a puppy and that’s where he was trained. The guy apparently lost his land and contacted the rescue because he wanted him to go to another ranch so he would have a job. He’s been with them for 6 months. He’s a little over two years old and I have all his paperwork. His mom, the Border Collie, was a herding show dog. I found that pretty cool.” Castiel finished and handed Dean a folder filled with the dog’s papers.

“Sounds like I got lucky. He’s gonna have a great time tomorrow helping me and Cain move the cows after not having a job for 6 months.” Dean commented with a huge smile.

“I think so.” Cas agreed.

“What’s his name?” Dean asked.

“Well, he doesn’t really have one.” Cas answered.

Dean snorted. “Did the rancher call him Dog?”

Cas chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, he did. So, you get to name him because he deserves a name.”

“You bet your ass he does!” Dean agreed enthusiastically.

“He’s got a goofy personality from what I’ve seen.” Cas commented.

Dean nodded and thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers, “I got it!”

“That was quick.” Cas chuckled.

“How about Goose?” Dean said.

“Goose? like Top Gun?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, like Top Gun. He’s goofy like Goose was in the movie.”

“I like it. Goose it is!” Cas grinned.

They both were watching Emma and the three dogs, now all sitting by the fireplace, each dog with a chew toy in their mouth while Emma played with the small doll house she kept downstairs.

“Well, looks like we have three dogs now.” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and brought his body flush against his own.

“Looks like it.” Cas smiled and nuzzled his nose against Dean’s then leaned in and kissed him softly.

“We are insane.” Dean mumbled against Cas’s lips.

Cas chuckled and swiped his tongue along Dean’s lower lip, demanding entrance. Dean immediately opened up to him, enjoying the smooth feel of the drag of his tongue against Castiel’s as he savors the taste of what Dean can only describe as Cas. Slightly sweet, slightly minty, always delicious and enticing.

Dean hums against Cas as the enthusiastic kiss comes to an end. “Feels like it’s been forever since we did that.”

“It’s been 6 days, twelve hours, and 57 minutes.” Cas whispered and went in for a light kiss.

Dean guffawed, “You been keeping track?”

Cas shrugged, “The minutes were an estimate, but the days and hours is true.”

Dean chuckled and lightly bit Cas’s lower lip, giving a small growl. “We need a date night.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Dean reluctantly pulled back and looked at his watch, “We better get going or I’m going to be late to my own party.”

“Let’s get going then.” Cas reluctantly took a step back.

Dean went to get Emma ready while Cas made sure the doggie door was locked so the new dogs wouldn’t get out and get lost on their first night, then they piled into the Tundra and headed to the Roadhouse. Their romantic life had taken a small hit which was expected when you threw a small child into their already hectic lives. Emma was still getting used to being in the new house and she would wake up sometimes in the night. Though the last few days she slept through the night and that gave Dean and Cas hope that their luck would continue.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once they got to the Roadhouse, Dean helped Emma take off her coat and the first thing she did was go find her Grandpa Bobby. Dean and Cas watched with broad smiles as she leapt into his arms, and they talked for a moment before she ran off and found Ellen, Eileen, and Jo sitting in the family booth. She greeted them all with warm hugs before settling next to Eileen so she could talk quietly to Robbie in Eileen’s arms. It was moments like this that made all the lack of sleep, extra work, and exhaustion worth it for them. They loved their little girl.

“I’ll be back love.” Cas said as he went though the back door and into the kitchen.

“Happy birthday old man!” Benny drawled as he walked up and slapped a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Hey Benny!” Dean turned and pulled his friend into a bone crushing hug. It had been a while since he had last seen Benny. “Missed you man.”

“Missed you too Cher. You and Cas need to come by the restaurant with that little girl. Andrea would love to meet her.” Benny said with a smile.

This comment made Dean look around. It was rare that Benny was ever without Andrea when they came to parties, but this time, Dean didn’t see her anywhere.

“We will. Where is Andrea tonight?” Dean asked.

“She’s at home sleeping. Caught some sort’a stomach bug and hasn’t been feeling good for a few days now.” Came Benny’s answer.

“Oh no, well tell her we hope she feels better and that we missed her.”

“I will. Now let’s get this party started.” Benny pulled him over to the bar where there was a cooler filled with beers.

Dean’s party was a success as far as he was concerned. He had all of his family in one place except for Charlie but she had called him earlier that day. She had to stay home to catch up on work she had missed over New Years. There was food in the form of steaks Bobby had grilled, and mashed potatoes and gravy. Once they finished eating, they played some games, Emma winning Pin the Tail on the Donkey twice which made Dean extremely proud, Cas as well.  Emma gave him his present which made him tear up; it was another one of her drawings only this time it was him, Cas, Miracle, and herself. Dean wiped the tear from his eye and hugged her fiercely.

When it came time to leave, Sam and Eileen stopped Dean as he was helping Emma into her coat.

“We have a present for you before you go.” Sam said, clearly trying to hide a smile.

“And what would that be?” Dean asked suspiciously.

“We started talking to Emma and Cas last week about possibly coming and staying the night at our house. We can watch all the princess movies, and she can help Eileen as much as she wants with Robbie. She was very excited and agreed.” Sam started.

“And so now you and Cas have the rest of the night to yourselves, and we will either bring her back in the morning or you can come get her after breakfast.” Eileen finished, speaking and signing some with one hand as the other held little Robbie.

“Really?” Dean asked, looking over at Cas and finding him smirking.

“Emma is a very good secret keeper. I already installed her car seat in Sam’s car, and I packed her backpack last night. She’s all ready, and I told her she can come back whenever she wants if she feels like she wants to come home early.” Cas smiled down at his daughter who looked from him to Dean with a bright and excited smile on her face.  

“Wow, thanks guys.” Dean said sincerely. He then squatted down in front of Emma who immediately threw her arms around his neck. When she pulled back, she kissed Dean’s cheek. “You be good for Uncle Sam and Aunt Eileen.”

“I will. Auntie Eileen says I can have hot chocolate and watch Punzel.” Emma said as she bounced on the spot.

Dean chuckled. He loved his daughter, but it would be nice to watch something other than Tangled for a change. It was Emma’s favorite movie, and they watched it every night before bed, all of them cuddled up on the couch, just unwinding after the long day they all surely had. “That sounds like fun. I love you.” He kissed her forehead before standing up.

“Thanks again guys. We appreciate it.” Cas said to Sam and Eileen.

“No problem. Have fun. I’ll be sure to call before I bring her home.” Sam said with a wink as him, Eileen and Emma walked out the front door.

Dean yipped in surprise as Cas smacked his ass hard, bringing him back to the present. “You want another drink before we go?” Cas growled next to Dean’s ear. It sent chills up Dean’s spine. He had no idea what he was in for, but he was ready for whatever Cas so clearly had planned. They walked back to the bar after Dean hung his coat back up.

“Sam is going to do night check tonight, so you don’t have to by the way.” Cas announced as he poured two shots for him and Dean. Cas hadn’t drank anything since he would be driving and this one shot would be ok, especially considering what he had up his sleeve for before they would be leaving.

“You two lock up when you leave, please.” Ellen said as her and Bobby were walking through the back door and towards the front door.

“Yes ma’am.” Dean said at the same time Cas said, “Will do.”

“Goodnight boys.” Ellen called as Bobby grumbled, “Don’t break anything.”

Dean swallowed and tried to chuckle, but it came out more choked. They all knew something that Dean didn’t. Dean scanned the bar for any hint of what was to come, and only one thing stood out that was different. All the curtains were drawn. Which meant this was Dean’s favorite kind of surprise, a sexy surprise.

Cas noticed Dean looking around and smiled, “I have a fantasy that I would like to act out with you Dean.”

Dean turned to Cas and nodded, he was right about what he thought was going to happen, and little did Cas know that Dean had the same fantasy.

“Bring it on Cas.” Dean winked, feeling his confidence come back as the nervousness of a surprise left him.

Cas handed him his shot and they took them in sync. Cas set his shot glass down next to Dean’s and turned him around on the barstool to face him.

“Are you ready?” Cas asked as he leaned into Dean’s space, resting his hands on Dean’s thighs and squeezing. All Dean could do was nod and revel in the feeling of letting go and letting Cas take control. Cas closed the small space and kissed him passionately. Dean’s hands came to cup both side of Castiel’s stubbled face as he gladly kissed him back, lightly nipping Cas’s bottom lip. Cas growled deep in his throat and brought one had to Dean’s crotch, putting pressure on the growing bulge he found there.

Dean let out a whine as Cas pulled back from their kiss and hummed, pleased. “Someone’s excited.”

“Ca- Cas please.” Dean moaned. He was surprised at himself for how quickly he became turned on, his cock was starting to ache from pushing against his pants. He needed Cas and he needed him now.

“Ok Dean.” Cas agreed with a smirk. He sunk down to his knees as he unbuckled Dean’s belt and pants, taking his time to bring the zipper down and reach in to free his prize. Dean groaned in relief as his length was freed from its confines. He gasped when Cas’s mouth took him all the way to the hilt and slowly pulled off with a wet pop.

“Fuck Cas.” Dean’s hand went straight to tangle into Cas’s unruly hair as he lazily stroked Dean’s cock.

“I have two rules. You have to tell me when you are close and then right before you come.” Cas instructed as he swallowed Dean back down, moaning as he hallowed out his cheeks.

“Uh huh.” Was all Dean managed for an answer. His mouth fell open and his head fell back as he focused entirely on Castiel’s mouth. Cas worked him over slowly and rhythmically, like he didn’t have another care in the world and could do this all day. Dean was slowly crumbling, and Cas noted that he needed to give him a breather if he wanted Dean to last longer than a teenager on prom night. After a few minutes Dean babbled that he was close, and Cas pulled off his cock and stood up. Dean opened his eyes and looked at Cas questioningly.

Cas wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and reached down to adjust himself, “over there.” He instructed Dean to a booth in the far left corner.

Dean nodded and scrambled to get there. He went to sit in the booth when Cas said, “no, on the table, ass on the edge, pants all the way down.”

“Y-yes sir.” Dean quickly did as he was told, eager to have Cas’s mouth on him again in any way possible. Cas walked behind the bar and opened the mini fridge that was under it and pulled out a spray can of whipped cream.

“I like my dessert sweet and salty.” Cas joked with a wink then sprayed a nice dollop on Deans cock head then took him down to the hilt once more.

Deans chuckle at Cas’s joke was quickly replaced by a loud guttural moan. He felt Cas smirk around his length. “Shit Cas.”

Cas dropped the can to the floor and brought one finger to rub around the rim of Deans tight hole. Dean’s hands flew to grab ahold of the side of the table for purchase. Cas and his teasing were going to be the death of him. Cas circled a few times before bringing his finger to his mouth to wet it and then he brought it back to Deans waiting hole and pushed it inside.

“Oh fuck!” Dean cursed as Cas sucked him down and curled his finger inside him to hit his prostate. “Shit shit shit!”

Cas worked his finger in and out, making sure to hit that bundle of nerves every time. He circled his tongue around the head and slowly pushed in a second finger, working Dean slowly but precisely.

“Cas – Cas m’gonna cum.” Dean warned.

Cas immediately stopped everything he was doing and slowly removed his fingers. Dean whined at the loss of Cas and panted as he came down from the almost orgasm. He was desperate to come after being edged.

“Get dressed so we can get home.” Cas instructed as he wiped his hand with a wet wipe from the bar and adjusted himself in his pants.

Dean sat up on the table, panting. “That was amazing Babe.” He slid off the table, legs shaking as he pulled his pants back on and buckled his belt. He walked over to Cas and put a hand behind his head and slammed their mouths together in a desperate kiss, taking Cas by surprise only for a moment. Cas kissed back eagerly, his tongue battling with Dean’s as he reached down and put pressure on Dean’s clothed cock teasingly. Dean startled and broke the kiss.

“Rude.” He joked.

Cas chuckled, “let’s get going.”

Dean nodded, his head still spun from what they had just been doing. Cas quickly wiped the table down with the industrial disinfectant, then they grabbed their coats and headed out the front door, locking it behind them then running to the truck since the wind had picked up. The drive back to the ranch seemed longer than normal, especially when Cas, who was driving, demanded that Dean keep his cock mostly hard while he drove. Dean could only reach with his hand since the center console of the huge truck was so big and he didn’t want to lean over in fear of being pulled over. So, he was tormented with his own dick pushing against his zipper and Cas’s half hard cock in his hand the whole 30 minute drive.

When they finally arrived, it seemed that Cas had had enough of the torture as well. He parked clumsy and close to the house, a place Dean would not normally approve of and knew they would end up digging the truck out of the snow by morning but in that moment the only thing that mattered was getting his hands back on Cas.

They stumbled their way up the porch and through the front door. They were greeted by the three dogs, but Cas swiftly reached down and unlocked the doggy door before returning his attention back to the man he adored.

Cas shoved Deans coat to the floor then let his fall as well. He pushed Dean against the closet door and latched onto his neck, sucking and licking the sensitive pulse point. Dean moaned and held onto Cas for dear life.

“Get up stairs. Now.” Cas demanded while he continued his ministrations. Dean nodded but Cas didn’t stop like he thought he would. After a moment, Dean couldn’t take Cas’s teasing anymore. He pushed Cas back and bolted up the stairs, Cas hot on his heals. They burst through the bedroom door as Dean ran into the bathroom. He hadn’t gotten to shower with Cas in a month and if he was going to let Cas have control, he wanted to make this one decision.

Cas agreed without words as he turned the shower on while Dean stripped. Cas did the same after he found whatever he had been looking for in their shared dresser. Dean was already in the shower when Cas hid his little surprise under one of the towels. He smiled to himself then joined Dean under the hot spray.

Dean immediately latched onto Cas, teeth grazing his neck, a hand grabbing and squeezing his ass as he rutted against him, finally finding some relief as has rock hard cock rubbed against Cas’s own.

“Slow down cowboy.” Cas insisted as he pushed against Deans shoulder. Dean looked at Cas for instruction, eyes blown wide with lust. “Turn around and bend over the bench.”

Dean did what he was told without hesitation. He felt a hand caress his hip then the sound of a bottle popping open. He knew what was coming and he couldn’t wait, his cock aching as he went to reach down to give himself some relief. Before he even managed to touch himself, Cas’s hand came down hard on his ass. “No touching Dean. Patience.”

Dean whined and bit his lip but obeyed. What felt like hours but was only a moment later, he felt Cas’s tongue on him, licking a singular stripe from his taint to his waiting hole. Deans mouth fell open as a deep moan escaped his parted lips. He could feel Cas smirking behind him before he dove in for more, licking and sucking, causing Deans whole body to tense with pleasure.

Cas enjoyed himself for a moment before pushing one lubed finger in next to his tongue. He felt Dean tighten around him and heard the wonderful sounds that fell from his lips.

He worked that finger only for a moment, then added another as Dean began to babble and moan, “Oh, fuck Cas. Feels so good.”

He slowly worked Dean open as he kissed and left little love bites all over his ass cheeks. When he could slide a third finger in easily, and Dean almost fell off the bench, he knew it was time. He removed his fingers and tapped Dean’s hip. Dean stood on shaky legs and smiled goofily at him.

“Get out and dry off. Put on the surprise that is under your towel.” Cas told him.

“Yes sir.” Dean agreed, then turned and practically jumped out of the shower. They didn’t do this type of thing often, but Cas was beginning to think they should act out their kinks more often from the way Dean was smiling like he had drank a fifth of whiskey. When Cas turned the tap off and got out, Dean was already in the bedroom. Cas dried off and grabbed the bottle of lube and took it in the bedroom with him. His breath caught in his chest at the sight they lay in front of him.

Dean was wearing the pair of royal blue lacey thong panties he had bought for him. He was on his hands and knees, ass in the air and looking delicious. Cas licked his lips and squeezed the base of his twitching cock to try and get himself to calm down. He quickly crossed the room and opened the nightstand drawer. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs he bought with the panties and crawled onto the bed behind him.

“Please, Cas.” Dean begged, panting.

“Give me your hands Dean.” Cas said. Dean balanced his weight and brought his hands behind his back. Cas snapped the cuffs in place and made sure they weren’t too tight, then kissed Deans wrists.

 “What’s your safe word?” Cas asked.

“Impala.”

“And what is your color?”

“So fucking green.” Dean mumbled.

“Good.” Cas said, then grabbed the bottled of lube and poured some on his cock. They had done their research and had figured out the safety side of the things they wanted to do when the topic of kinks came up after Dean had mentioned Cas would look good in a pair of handcuffs. They knew they were both switches, and that Cas had a dominant side that Dean loved, so they decided to explore that. And boy they were glad they did. They switched off on who played the dominant part since they both enjoyed the dominant and submissive roles equally, but Dean responded so well to Cas and He reveled in that.

Cas moved the panties to the side and rubbed the tip of his cock against Deans fluttering hole, teasing.

“Fuck! Cas please!” Dean tried to push back into him.

“Since you asked so nicely.” Cas said sarcastically before pushing in all the way to the hilt. The sudden and not so slow intrusion made Dean gasp and moan, “thank fuck.”

Cas bit back his own moan as he pulled back almost all the way out and then snapped back in. Watching his cock disappear inside Dean was a sight he would never tire of. He set a bruising pace, their moans and curses of pleasure now mixing with each other. Cas gripped Deans hips tightly enough to surely leave bruises.

“Cas – Cas m’close.” Dean mumbled into the sheets.

“Shit, me too.” Cas agreed.

Cas slowed his pace only long enough to reach down and un-clip the cuffs then pull Dean up by his shoulders flush against him. Dean cried out as Cas picked up speed and hit his prostate with every thrust. For Dean, the room began to spin as pleasure coursed through his body. He planted one hand on Cas’s hip and dug his nails in while the other held onto his wrist where Cas’s arm was against Dean’s chest and his hand rested lightly against his throat. Cas’s other hand snakes down to reach Deans cock. He lightly touched, only enough to know that Dean was soaked with precum and the head of his cock poked out from the top on the panties.

Cas growled into Deans ear as he slammed into him, “cum for me.”

And that’s all it took. A guttural moan left Deans throat as he came untouched in thick ropes all over the sheets. Cas was right there with him, his own orgasm hitting him as soon as he felt Dean clench around him, painting his insides with his hot seed. Dean hummed in pleasure as he leaned against Cas.

Cas reached down and gathered the small amount of cum that was on Dean’s dick and brought it to His mouth and sucked it clean. “Always so sweet.” He nipped Dean’s ear.

Dean smiled and chuckled happily as he tried to miss the wet spot in order to lay down. Cas pulled out slowly then laid down next to him, pulling Dean into his chest and kissing him fiercely.

“We should get cleaned up.” Dean said when they broke the kiss.

“Agreed.”

They got up and headed into the shower again, this time actually using soap to rid one another of the evidence of their love making. They lazily washed and kissed every inch of each other’s body. After they got out and dried off, they fell into bed naked and cuddled up together. Dean reached for his phone to see what time it was and to check on Emma. It was a little after 11pm and there were two texts in the group chat with him, Cas, Sam, and Eileen.

The first text was from Sam; it was a picture of Eileen holding a sleeping Robby, and Emma who was hold a big cup of hot chocolate with a huge smile on her face. The text with it read:

The Tangled crew with their hot cocoa.

Dean laughed and showed it to Cas who smiled. The next text was from Eileen about an hour ago. Attached there was a picture of a sleeping Sam on the couch who had Robby curled up on one side and a passed-out Emma on the other, holding on to one of his arms. The text from Eileen read:

They all fell asleep halfway through the second viewing of Tangled lol.

“Sam’s gonna wake up with a neck ache from sleeping on the couch all night.” Cas said through a laugh.

“I’m sure it won’t be the first time.” Dean smiled. He sent off a reply with a thank you and set his phone on the nightstand then turned back to face Cas.

“I love you.” Dean whispered as he ran a thumb down the side of Cas’s face.

“I love you, Dean.” Cas nuzzled his nose against Dean’s. “Goodnight love.”

“Night babe.”

And with that they fell asleep, completely happy with the life they both shared.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 4

My Girl

That first sleepover that Emma had with Eileen, Sam, and Robbie started a once-a-week sleepover trend. Dean and Cas didn’t mind as long as Sam and Eileen didn’t mind, and they didn’t. They loved it. Ellen caught wind of the weekly sleepovers right before Valentine's Day and wanted in on the fun. Her and Bobby wanted to spend as much time as they could with Emma to make up for the years that they lost. Dean teared up when Bobby came to get Emma for that first sleepover on Valentine's Day. Watching Emma jump excitedly into her grandpa’s arms for a big hug melted Dean’s heart and he didn’t think he would ever get used to the sight.

Now Emma swapped weekly sleepovers between Sam and Eileen, and Bobby and Ellen. Dean and Cas were glad to have the weekly date night as well. They usually did the same thing; Dean came in from working and told Emma bye before Bobby or Sam came to pick her up. Once she had left, they would go shower together, make love, get some takeout and watch a movie or tv show. Valentine’s Day was no different and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Now with Valentines Day out of the way, Dean was focusing back on working the ranch and Cas had graciously taken over planning Emma’s 5^th birthday. They felt a little bad that she didn’t really have any friends her age yet but that would come with time, she hadn’t been there very long anyway.

Cas hadn’t had any luck in finding the person that trained The Colonel, though he hadn’t stopped looking. He was hopeful that the lawyer he contacted could find out more information. In the meantime, Cas found a trainer who sent them an email containing a list of common commands for personal protection dogs and how to use them. It was a big help. The Colonel attached himself to Emma right away. He wasn’t generally far from her unless he was doing his daily rounds of checking the house. He slept with Emma after he checked the house with Dean, and he followed her downstairs and would sit with his back towards her in a watchful and protective manner while she ate or played.

Dean and Cas watched them closely always, but it just seemed that he had claimed her as his girl, so they shrugged and went along with it; glad to know she was never really alone in the house if one of them wasn’t with her. The first day Dean took Goose out with him and Cain to check the cattle went perfectly. Dean came back for lunch and kissed Cas and thanked him multiple times for rescuing Goose. Dean was kicking himself for not getting a cattle dog sooner. All was going just fine in the Winchester-Novak house.

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Tuesday March 1st, 2011.

Emma’s birthday landed on a Tuesday, that would’ve been inconvenient if there would’ve been anyone outside of their family coming over to celebrate. They went ahead and decided to have the party on her actual birthday, knowing this would not be the case in the coming years once she makes friends and starts school eventually. Dean was out tending to the horses and cattle with Cain while Cas was in the house with Eileen setting up for Emma’s birthday party. There was a snowstorm coming that evening that would make the roads impassable after it dropped several more feet of snow on the already 6ft that covered the pastures. Ellen was closing the bar for the next few days like she always did.

Dean and Cas had tried to move Emma’s party to the next weekend after the snowstorm, but Ellen and Bobby wouldn’t hear of it. They said that it was her first birthday as a part of the family, and they were going to do it right and on the day. They said they would just stay at the ranch and help out with the animals the next few days after the storm. They knew Dean would need a few extra hands afterwards and Dean wasn’t about to say no to that. Plus, he enjoyed his family and thought if they had to be snowed in, it might as well be all under one roof.

Dean had gotten the horses mostly settled and the cows had been moved to a closer pasture the day before. He wanted the heifers closer to the house so he wouldn’t have to ride out too far in all that snow if they started calving sooner than he expected. Cain was working on the hole in the chicken coop that needed fixing when Dean walked into the house about one o’clock, ready to lend a hand at getting ready for the party.

“Hey, it looks great in here!” Dean called as he walked into the kitchen through the dining room where there were pink streamers and balloons set up throughout both rooms. Pink was one of Emma’s favorite colors and what she asked for as decorations.

“Thank you love.” Cas beamed from where he was icing chocolate cupcakes with pink icing per Emma’s request.

“Ellen, Bobby, and Jo should be here any minute.” Dean said as he walked over and kissed Cas on the cheek, swiping his finger through the bowl of vanilla buttercream icing while he was there.

Cas swatted his hand and Dean chuckled. “Sorry sweetheart.”

Cas shook his head in amusement. “Do they have the uh…” Cas looked towards the living room where Emma was watching SpongeBob SquarePants and coloring, making sure she wouldn’t hear what he was about to ask Dean. “Did they pick up the surprise?” he whispered.

“Yeah, they picked him up at 11:30. Should put them here right on time.” Dean pulled his phone out to make sure he hadn’t missed anything from Ellen or Bobby.

“Good. She’s going to love it.” Cas smiled.

“I sure hope so. I just want her to have a good first birthday with us.” Dean said, shyly. He had been struggling the last few weeks with wanting to make sure he was doing everything right for her and make her feel loved and like she belonged, especially for her 5^th birthday.

“I know she is going to love everything she is getting.” Cas assured Dean.

Just then Eileen came down the stairs with a baby monitor in hand. “Little man is down. Thanks for letting me use your room.” Eileen said and signed.

“You’re welcome.” Cas smiled and signed back.

They talked for the next few minutes while Cas finished the cupcakes, and Dean went about mixing the BBQ sauce into the pulled pork he smoked the day before. When Dean thought of children’s birthday parties, he thought of snacks, and drinks. When they asked Emma what she wanted for snacks, she said she wanted pulled pork sandwiches to which Dean threw his head back in a full body laugh and said, “That’s my girl”. Then he proceeded to go buy a pork shoulder and smoke it for 12 hours just for his little girl.

“Dean!” Sam called as he walked through the front door. He had two presents under each arm. One in a square box wrapped in rainbow birthday wrapping paper, and one larger, rectangle present wrapped in the same paper.

“Hey Sammy!” Dean pulled the slider buns from the oven as Sam came into the kitchen.

Sam set the presents on the island and said, “Bobby and Ellen just pulled up.”

“Oh great!” Dean said as he ran to the entryway closet and grabbed his coat. He quietly went outside to meet them.

“Hey Dean. Got a special delivery.” Bobby called as he stepped out of the old pickup he was driving.

“Hey Bobby! Thanks for picking him up.” Dean said as he gave Bobby a quick hug.

“Of course. Ellen and Jo are almost here. They stopped at the tack store for a few more things.” Bobby and Dean walked around to the back of the small trailer. Dean hopped up on one of the tires and peaked inside.

“Hey buddy. Your gonna make one little girl very happy.”  Dean smiled. “Did he load up good?”

“Like a dream.” Bobby pulled a folder from inside his coat. “Here are his papers.”

“Thanks Bobby. Really appreciate it.”

“Anything for that little girl.”

HONK HONK!

They turned to see Jo and Ellen in Jo’s SUV.

Once parked, Dean and Bobby walked over to greet them and help pull out the rest of the gifts.

“Hey! Hope the drive wasn’t too bad?” Dean greeted as Ellen stepped out of the car and pulled him into a hug. Ellen and Jo had to go to the tack store that was in Bozeman to pick up one of Emma’s presents.

“Jo’s driving is always scary but other than that it wasn’t bad.” Ellen joked. Dean chuckled and nodded his agreement.

“Hey! It’s not that bad.” Jo defended. “If I’m a bad driver, it’s his fault.” She pointed to Bobby.

“My fault? How is it my fault?” Bobby asked.

Ellen patted him on the shoulder as she passed him to walk towards the house. “You taught her how to drive honey.”

“Oh. At least she doesn’t drive like Sam.” Bobby deadpanned.

Dean threw his head back in a full body laugh. “You mean like an overgrown grandma because that’s how Sam drives.”

“Exactly” Bobby agreed.

“Alright boys, that’s enough. let’s get this stuff in to that little girl so she can have the best birthday ever.” Ellen announced as she pulled a large box from the trunk of the SUV.

Dean went back to the trailer and pulled out the most important part of the party and put him in the extra stall in the barn with some fresh water and some hay and switching his old rope halter for a new soft pink halter and lead rope, hanging the rope on the hook outside the stall before he headed back to the house. He walked into Ellen and Bobby sitting on the couch as Emma showed them the new tricks she had taught The Colonel.

Dean chuckled as he shook his head in amusement. Sam came around the corner from the dining room, “Hey. Everything ready?”

“Heyya Sammy. Yeah, I think so. Need to check with Cas to make sure the cupcakes he was decorating are done and then we can eat.” Dean led the way into the kitchen where Eileen, and Jo were talking and laughing with Cas as he placed the final cupcake on the tower.

“We ready to eat?” Dean asked as he walked behind Cas and wrapped his arms around his waist and placed a kiss on his neck.

A shiver ran down Cas’s spine and he smiled, “Yes we can eat now.”

Dean called for everyone to come to the kitchen to make their plates while he grabbed one of Emma’s plates that had Rapunzel on it and made her a pulled pork sandwich with chips and ranch to dip. He was thankful every day that she wasn’t a picky eater and loved all of his favorite foods. But in Castiel’s words: “No child that shares your DNA would not like burgers and pie Dean?” to which Dean narrowed his eyes and said, “Touché.” With a chuckle as he hip-checked Cas.

Once they all had full plates, they gathered around the large dining room table. Cas and Dean both had to keep reminding Emma to eat because she kept getting lost staring at all the different sized presents and trying really hard to guess what the largest box was.

When half her sandwich and chips were gone, she turned to Dean and Cas and said, “Daddy, Pappa, can I pweeeaaassee open my presents now?” The puppy dog face she was giving them, complete with a pouted bottom lip could rival her uncle Sam’s any day.

Dean and Cas chuckled, “Sure baby. Let’s blow out your candles first though.” Dean said.

“YAY!” She exclaimed as she bounced in her seat.

Cas got up and brought the cupcake tower into the dining room and set it in front of her. Dean helped her stand in the chair as Cas lit the singular #5 candle that sat in the middle of the last cupcake on the top tier. Jo pulled out her phone and took a video of them singing Happy Birthday and Emma blowing out the candle. They all laughed as she grabbed the top cupcake and took a big bite after Dean took the candle out, icing covering her mouth and some on the tip of her nose.

Emma loved horses, and since the week following her arrival, Dean would take her out daily to help him clean stalls, feed the horses and groom them. The few days it had been sunny and not ridiculously cold outside, Dean would take her riding around the house or up to visit Sam, Eileen, and Robby on Zeppelin or Sadie. She loved getting in the saddle with him and learning how to steer the horse. Castiel had taken many photos of the two riding with his phone and camera. Cas had printed several of the photo’s that were his favorite and framed them, hanging them around the house and giving a few to Ellen and Bobby. Cas and Dean both had one of the pictures as their background on their phones as well. Both Dean and Emma always had a beaming smile on their face the whole time or were laughing about something. Right before Valentine’s Day, Dean had brought up the idea of buying her a small horse of her own for her birthday. Cas agreed right away, and they started looking the next day. Dean had called Crowley and asked him to keep an eye out for any kid safe, smaller horses that maybe one of his clients was looking to sell; and that is exactly what happened.

Crowley called the week before Emma’s birthday, right when Dean was getting discouraged about finding the perfect horse that would take care of his baby girl. He had gone to look and try 8 different horses over the last few weeks and none of them fit the bill for what he was looking for. Dean got the contact information from Crowley and went to look at the horse the same day. He was near Billings Montana, around an hour and a half away.

Dean was immediately pleased with the demeanor of the small horse the minute he started interacting with him. He did everything Dean asked of him, loaded and unloaded in a trailer like a dream, allowed all grooming and tacking up while taking a catnap, and even passed Dean’s “bombproof” test with flying colors, all while maintaining a sweet but not boring personality. Dean was too big to do the actual riding portion of the test but the owner; a very short woman, rode him and then one of her children rode him.

Dean was thoroughly impressed by the little horse and made an offer. They accepted and he was thrilled and put more at ease when he met the petite woman’s husband and found that he was an old friend of his from his college days when he would ride at the local rodeo’s. He knew the man well and trusted him to sell a good and safe animal. The couple were sad to see the little horse go but happy he would be with another child since the only reason for them selling him was their children losing interest in riding. They had brought him along since he was two years old, and he was now only eight years old. Dean could see the love they had for such a special animal. Dean promised he would have a good life and live out the rest of his long life at the Winchester Ranch.

Dean started handing Emma the presents from smallest to largest, glad to know that she wouldn’t suspect getting a horse since Dean told her she would be getting her own riding tack soon so she could learn to ride Sadie by herself. The first presents were individually wrapped grooming supplies and a pink tote to keep it all in from Jo. Emma was already so excited to have her own supplies that her thank you’s were hard to understand through her squeals. Another present was her own cowgirl boots and cowgirl had that they told her were from her grandpa Chuck in New York and her Uncle Gabriel. The next present was a pink horse winter blanket for the cold nights from Sam and Eileen. Dean and Cas were thankful again that she didn’t notice that the size of the blanket wouldn’t fit Sadie.

The next present was a pink and black saddle pad that Dean and Cas told her was from Charlie. And the last present was a custom fit western saddle with a matching breast collar and headstall with pink inlays in the leather design from Ellen and Bobby. She absolutely adored it and gave Ellen and Bobby the biggest hugs.

Dean tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around from where she was admiring her new saddle with a beaming smile and looked up at him.

“Wanna go see what Pappa and I got you?” Dean asked her with a smile.

“Yesyesyes!” She bounced on the spot.

“Let’s go then! It’s outside so we gotta put on our coats.”

“Ok!” She exclaimed and ran to the closet by the front door.

They all put on their coats and hats; Emma, clad in her new boots, hat, and heavy jacket, they headed outside. Emma ran down the stairs and jumped in the snow while everyone else came out of the house. She stopped when she realized that she didn’t know where her present would be.

“Where’s my present?” She ran up to Dean and Cas.

They smiled to one another, “It’s in the barn.” Cas said, pointing towards the barn a few yards away. She grinned and sprinted towards the barn, tripping in the snow and almost falling multiple times as she giggled in joy.

She reached the big door and pushed it open with all her might, just enough for her to slip inside. Dean got to the door next and pushed it all the way open. When he looked up from the door, he saw Emma standing statue still, staring in awe at the stall next to Zeppelin’s that was decorated in pink balloons, pink streamers, and a sign over the top of the stall that read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA!

Right then the little horse stuck his nose over the stall door, he was just too short to put his head all the way over like the other horses. Dean made a mental note to shorten the door for him so Emma could pet him easier.  

She gasped when she saw him. “Is he mine?” she asked tentatively in a small voice; you could hear the excitement but unsureness in her voice.

“He’s all yours, baby girl.” Dean assured her. Her smile got impossibly bigger as tears started to stream down her face. She turned and launched herself into Dean’s arms where he held her tightly. Cas squatted down when she let go of Dean and turned to him, almost knocking him over with the force of her hug.

“Why don’t you go see him.” Cas said gently as he wiped the tears from her face. She nodded and took both Dean and Castiel’s hands and they walked towards the stall. Little did they know that Jo had taken some video and pictures of the moment that they would come to cherish, especially the one where they were walking hand in hand with Emma towards the stall.

Dean opened the stall door, and the horse Immediately put his head down to her level and gently nuzzled into her. She giggled and gave him a kiss on his head as he licked her hand, looking for treats. 

“I love him so much.” She said with a sniffle.

“I think he loves you too. Do you want to know more about him?” Dean asked.

“Yes pwease.” She said as she walked into the stall to pet his neck and run her hands through his long black mane.

“He’s a Quarter Horse Pony breed cross, he’s 8 years old and around 13 hands tall so he’s the perfect height for you to learn on and ride for a very long time. The family he came from had kids that loved him, but they outgrew him, so now he’s looking forward to being loved by you.” Dean smiled.

“Wow. I will love him for ever and ever.” She hugged his neck and gave him a kiss. He seemed to be enjoying himself, Dean noticed his eyes were slowly drifting closed and one of his back legs was cocked in a relaxed manner.

“I know you will.” Dean patted the horse on the shoulder and smiled at Cas who was grinning from ear to ear.

“He looks like Zeppy.” Emma commented.

Dean laughed, “He does. I thought you would like that he was all black like Zeppelin.”

Emma nodded in agreement as she continued to pet him.

They had almost forgotten that the others were there until they heard a sniffle and looked up to see Bobby handing Ellen a handkerchief to wipe her eyes with. Dean and Cas chuckled and invited everyone to come and say hello to the little horse.

“What are you going to name him?” Bobby asked Emma.

“I get to name him?” she asked excitedly.

“Of course! He has a new home, so he needs a new name.” Dean said.

“Ummmmm.” She thought as she looked him over, walking to his front to look at his face. “He looks like a Shadow to me. Like Zeppy’s Shadow.”

“Shadow it is!” Dean agreed. He was going to make her a name plaque from some old wood he had by the house next week after the garage was completed.

The rest of the day was spent with Emma giving Shadow a thorough grooming and learned to pick his feet all by herself, then helping Dean feed all the horses and feeding him herself since he was officially hers. Only an hour after they showed her Shadow did it start to snow quite hard, the wind picking up and snow falling fast. The storm was coming in a few hours earlier than expected. Bobby, Cas, and Sam helped Dean and Cain check all the animals and make sure everything was secure for the storm before they retreated to the house. Sam and Eileen took Robbie home for dinner and bedtime while Cas and Dean reheated some leftover stew from the night before for themselves, Emma, Ellen, Bobby, and Jo.

Dean got everyone settled into the guest rooms and Emma fell asleep between Dean and Cas on the couch watching Spirit, while the dogs curled up around the fire. Needless to say, it was a great birthday for Emma, and they couldn’t wait to see what the rest of the year brought for them all.

Dean and Cas ended up being extremely grateful that Ellen, Bobby, Jo got snowed in at the ranch; all hell seemed to have broken loose the next day while snow was still falling after the initial overnight of heavy snowfall. Ellen stayed inside with Emma so Cas could go help Dean, Bobby, Sam, and Cain with getting the barn door open since snow needed to be shoveled away from the door to open it. Everything was buried in snow, and they were having a hard to walking in it with how deep it was. Jo offered to start digging the snow plow out so they could get around the ranch easier.

For those next few days before the snow melted enough for Bobby, Ellen and Jo to leave, they helped several cows have their babies because for some reason, the cows always chose to give birth in the worst conditions. They plowed a smaller pasture with a large run-in shelter to put the momma’s and babies in so they could keep an eye on them. They helped put out round bales of hay and mend a cow that decided to try and go 3 rounds with the fence and lost. Needless to say, they were all exhausted when the snow finally melted enough for everyone to leave the ranch. Dean and Cas thanked them profusely and Dean promised to come to the salvage yard or the bar to help get whatever Bobby or Ellen needed done.

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The next week

Dean was transferring all his tools and car tools to the new garage they had just finished building on the left side of the house the day before. The truck Cas bought him was finally under some shelter and he couldn’t wait to start on it; the Impala had a dry place to stay too since it was an oversized two car garage. Emma had been helping Dean move some of the smaller items but had just gone inside when Cas came and got her to eat her lunch; Dean would be heading in for lunch as soon as he was finished since he only had one more toolbox to move.

Dean stood up and looked towards the driveway when he heard tires and snow chains coming down the road. He was confused since he had just talked to Sam, who had been home helping with Robbie since Eileen was sick, Cas was inside with Emma, and Cain was down in the barn mucking out stalls; they weren’t expecting anyone.

The small SUV came to a stop not far from the garage and a short, young man got out and waved to Dean.

Dean smiled and laughed, “Kevin! Kevin Tran! How the hell are you?” He greeted Kevin with a bone crushing hug. He was the son of Linda Tran, the owner of the diner in town. Kevin had known Dean since he was 8 years old when Dean had first moved to Montana and Kevin begged his mom to let Dean give him riding lessons.

“Dean! I’ve been ok. It’s good to see you!” Kevin said, voice a little strangled as Dean tightened his hug before letting go.

“aren’t you supposed to be at college?” Dean asked quizzically.

“Well, it’s spring break so I’m home for the week but technically yes.” Kevin sighed and looked down at his feet.

“What’s wrong kid? Not liking college life?” Dean asked, concerned about the boy he had taken under his wing when he had first moved to Montana.

“Not at all.” Kevin looked back up at Dean and took a deep breath, he then blurted, “I hate it. I’ve done it for two years and I just can’t do it anymore. It’s not what I want to do… It’s what my mom wants me to do.” He whispered the last part like his mom was standing right next to him.

Dean sighed and put a comforting hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “I know but, you’re gonna be the top neurosurgeon in the world one day. That’s real exciting.”

Kevin glared at Dean, “You’re just saying that because you’re afraid of my mother.”

“You bet your ass I am.” Dean deadpanned and let his hand fall from Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin rolled his eyes. “Look she may be a tiny woman, but she can be scary.” Dean added.

“I really don’t want to do it anymore. I want to do something else, something I love.” Kevin sighed.

Dean wanted to help him, he really did, but he didn’t know what he could do. Kevin’s mother had been planning this future for him since before he met the Trans, and she never budged on it, not once. But Kevin was an adult and technically could do whatever he wanted regardless of what his mother wanted.

“What do you want to do Kevin? If there is something else, then you’ve never told me about it.” Dean said.

“I want to be a horse trainer. I’ve wanted that for years, but my mom always shut the idea down every time I brought it up.” Kevin looked defeated, and Dean hated to see that.

“I had no idea. You know your mom just wants you to have everything you need or want. That’s what every good parent wants for their kids, even if it seems like they are being overbearing or controlling about it.” Dean said, trying to help Kevin see it from his mother’s perspective and not as her just being controlling.

Kevin’s face fell and he looked even more defeated than he had just a few minutes prior.

Dean sighed. Linda might kill him for this, but he had to do it. “But sometimes you have to stand up to those parents and make them see that you are truly unhappy, and hopefully they are understanding and willing to support what you really want to do. Sometimes, you need a friend to stand behind you and with you on what you want.” Dean started; Kevin’s face lit up as he caught on to what Dean was saying. “I’ll help you tell your mom that school isn’t for you and that you want to be a trainer. And then you come to work for me. Get yourself back into it with my help and support. I’m gonna need another hand and trainer once I can get this breeding and training business on its feet. You can even take on some outside client horses when you feel ready.” Dean suggested with a smile.

He really did love the idea of Kevin coming to work for him and helping him become the best trainer he possibly could become. “Are you serious?” Kevin asked disbelief clear in his voice.

“As a heart attack.” Dean smiled. “But remember, this life isn’t easy. It’s hard work with long hours that can go late into the night, but in the end its rewarding and if you really love it then it won’t feel like work.”

“I know, I helped you every summer since I was nine remember. I’ve seen more calves be born than any twenty-year-old ever has.” They both laughed, then Kevin continued, “This is what I want to do. You showed me what this life is like and the care and compassion it takes to do it and it’s what I want.”

“Then all that’s left is to make your mom see it that way too.” Dean said.

“That’s like picking a fight with a bear.” Kevin chuckled.

Dean snorted, “A very small bear but a bear, nonetheless. I’ll meet you at the diner tomorrow at 2pm so we can talk to your mom.”

Kevin smiled widely, “Ok, thanks Dean.”

“No problem kiddo. It’ll be good to have you join the crew. That is if I survive your mother.” Dean laughed nervously.

Kevin laughed along with him before waving goodbye and getting back in his car to head down the driveway.

Dean smiled and waved at the back of the car before mumbling to himself, “She’s gonna kill me. Emma! I’ll take Emma. She won’t hit me if Emma’s with me.” And with that plan in his mind, he headed inside to tell Cas the news of a new employee and that they would be going to lunch at the diner tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 5

Dream On

The next day Dean and Cas loaded up Emma and The Colonel into the truck and headed to the diner. Cas was excited to meet Kevin but was reasonably doubtful that Mrs. Tran would agree to Kevin quitting college. Emma was excited to go eat at the diner and get one of her favorite pies, chocolate meringue pie, just like Dean. Dean pulled the truck into a parking spot, and they all got out, The Colonel letting Emma hold onto his collar as they walked on the ice-covered sidewalk. Dean loved living in Montana, he loved the snow, but by this time every year, he was ready for it to melt and go away for a few months.

“Hi Linda!” Dean and Cas greeted Mrs. Tran at the same time before taking off their coats and picking the booth they usually sat at, Colonel took his spot under the table at Emma’s feet.

“Hi boys. Hello miss Emma.” Linda smiled at them. “The usual?”

“For me yes. Emma?” Dean said.

“Yes pwease.” Emma responded with a shy smile.

“Same here.” Cas chimed in.

“You got it.” She smiled and headed back behind the 1950s style diner counter to hand her cook the ticket through the window. She came back a few minutes later with two glasses of sweet tea for Cas and Dean, and a cup of apple juice for Emma, then she went back behind the counter to tend to the other customer.

“When will Kevin be here?” Cas asked anxiously.

Dean looked at his watch, “About twenty minutes.”

“I hope you know this isn’t going to go well.” Cas stated as he sipped his tea.

Dean shrugged, “What’s life without a little risk.”

“According to you, not living.” Cas deadpanned.

“Exactly!” Dean smirked.

Cas rolled his eyes but chuckled lightly. He loved how much faith Dean had in himself, but he really though Linda Tran was going to hand him his ass. He did genuinely hope that she was understanding and wouldn’t be upset, Kevin sounded like a great fit, and Dean was so excited to work with him again.

Linda came over with a tray full of food at that moment. “Alright, one double cheeseburger with bacon and fries.” She set the plate in front of Dean. “One turkey BLT with fries.” She set the plate in front of Castiel. “And one grilled cheese with a small house tomato soup for the little lady.” She set the plate and bowl in front of Emma with a smile.

“You two better be glad she’s a good eater. Kevin wouldn’t eat anything but pizza when he was five years old.” She laughed. Dean and Cas laughed and agreed with her. They were indeed lucky in so many ways.

“Can I get you anything else?” she asked.

“I think we are good. Thank you.” Dean smiled as she dismissed herself.

“At least she seems like she’s in a good mood.” Cas observed once she was out of ear shot. Dean nodded in agreement.

About halfway through their lunch Kevin came in through the door. He came and greeted them like he usually would and then went to sit at the bar and talk to his mother.

“That’s my cue.” Dean said, wiping his mouth with his napkin and getting up from the table.

“Good luck.” Cas said.

Dean walked the few feet over to the bar, “Hey Linda, me and Kevin had something we would like to talk to you about.” he gave her his most charming smile.

Kevin looked nervous as Linda frowned and said sternly, “Kevin was just telling me that. I will tell you the same thing I told you the last two times you offered this. The answer is and always will be no. He is going to go to college, get his degree and become a neurosurgeon like we have planned since he was five years old.”

Kevin lowered his head and frowned. Dean decided it was time to take a stand and back Kevin up. This is not something Dean would normally interfere with, he believed every parent was just trying their best with their kid and as long as the parent was loving and doing what was in the kids’ best interest, then it wasn’t his business. But sometimes dreams change from five years old to adulthood. Kevin’s dream changed the first day he rode a horse with Dean, and it hadn’t wavered since. But Kevin wanted to please his mother, so he went to school for a dream that was no longer his own.

“I understand that Linda, but Kevin is no longer a child, he is almost 21 years old and can make his own decisions. If he wants to quit school and come work for me and become a horse trainer, I don’t see why that would be a problem. Sometimes dreams change and what we might’ve thought we wanted when we were five is no longer what we want.” Dean tried to persuade her gently by trying to make her see that Kevin was an adult now.

“Dean Winchester I will not allow you to put ridiculous ideas into my sons head!” she said firmly, voice bordering on uncontrolled.

Dean opened his mouth to inform her that he did no such thing, when Kevin finally spoke up, standing up and looking his mother straight in the eye. “Dean didn’t do anything mom! He’s not the one that brought this up again or any of the other times! It was always me! I went to him yesterday practically begging him to help me tell you that I hate medical school.”

His mother looked on in shock, mouth agape. Dean smiled, glad to see that Kevin was finally going to tell his mother how he really felt. It wasn’t that she was a bad mother, the complete opposite actually, but she was controlling and unbudging when it came to his education. Which Dean could definitely understand to a point. She just wanted him to succeed.

“I can’t do it anymore mom. It’s not what I want to do with my life and I’m miserable.” Kevin added, on the verge of tears.

Dean waited for Linda’s answer with bated breath, but what she said was not what he expected. She sighed and gathered herself, not making eye contact with Dean or Kevin she said, “Dean, can I please speak to you privately?”

“Of course.” He agreed, shooting Kevin a reassuring smile as he followed Linda to the other side of the diner. Dean was thankful it was the time of day where the diner was mostly empty.

Linda chewed on her nail nervously for a moment before turning to Dean and asking, “Do you genuinely think he has the talent to become a successful horse trainer? Or will he be throwing everything he worked so hard to achieve away? I don’t want him to live like my family did and struggle like I had to just to put food on the table when he was growing up.” She asked him, desperation for him to have the right answer clear in her expression.

Dean put a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I really do think he has the talent. Not just talent but he has the passion for it. Sure, it’ll be slow at first and hard work. But I think he could make a real name for himself. And having Winchester Ranch on his resume wouldn’t hurt either.”

“I just can’t watch him throw away his future.” She said as a tear rolled down her face. “But I want him to be happy. I know he’s been miserable, I’m his mother, I’ve seen it in his mood. But I hoped he would be able to learn to love it. I don’t want him to be miserable anymore though.” She wiped the tear from her face and smiled at Dean. “You know he worked so hard and got a full ride just to make me happy.” She smiled over at Kevin who was drumming his fingers on the bar and bouncing his leg nervously.

“I know that. You are an amazing mother. As a parent I understand your fear. But you’re a great mom, and you just want your son to be happy, right?” Dean asked with a soft smile.

“Right. I trust you Dean. If you think he has what it takes, then I will stand by him one hundred percent.”

“That’s great. Thank you for trusting me. I wouldn’t let him do this if I didn’t think he would be successful at it. Let’s go tell him the good news.” Dean smiled brightly and sent her a wink to try and help her relax.

They walked back over to Kevin and Dean fell back a little, letting Mrs. Tran take the lead on this.

“Kevin.” She looked at him with a watery but loving smile and took his hand. “I love you, and I want what’s best for you and for you to be happy. If working for Dean and becoming a horse trainer is what you really want, then I will support you in that.”

Kevin looked at her in disbelief. “Really? Are you serious?”

“Yes, you’re my son. I’ll always support you.”

“Thank you so much mom.” Kevin launched himself at her and squeezed her tightly. He let her go and turned to Dean. “Thank you, Dean. For everything.” Kevin then hugged him tightly as well.

“No problem kiddo.” Dean said. “I have one condition though.” Dean added.

“What is it?” Kevin asked.

“You go to the university in Bozeman part time and get your degree in equine science and agricultural business. That’s what I did, and it helped me in the industry immensely. That way you’ll have something to fall back on if needed.” Dean said, knowing Linda would be glad he was still getting an education.

“Oh, that sounds perfect!” Linda agreed with a genuine smile.

“I can definitely do that.” Kevin beamed.

Just then Cas and Emma came over. “I suppose I should assume this is our new employee?” He said with a smile and stuck out his hand to Kevin for a handshake.

“Yes. You must be Castiel.” Kevin said, shaking his hand.

“I am. Dean’s told me a lot about you. It’ll be good to have you on the team.” Cas smiled.

“Why don’t you take the rest of spring break to do what you need to do about your old school and move all of your stuff into the bunkhouse. Once you get settled, you can go up to Montana state University to talk to someone about classes.” Dean suggested.

“That sounds great! Thank you so much, both of you.” Kevin smiled gratefully.

“Alright enough chick flick moments. Let’s have some celebratory pie!” Dean clapped Kevin on the shoulder as Emma jumped up and down in excitement.

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That next week Dean introduced Kevin to Cain, and Kevin moved his things into the bunkhouse. Kevin also went and talked to a counselor at Montana State University and was set to enroll in classes for the fall semester. Meanwhile, Cain found a horse and he and Dean went to look at him. They picked up the 10-year-old black and white Paint gelding that weekend. Dean was glad the timing was perfect, because now that Cain had his own horse, who he let Emma name Patches; Kevin could ride Sadie so Sam could still ride his horse. Sam had been helping like he used too now that Eileen had a routine with the baby, in fact; she had kicked Sam out of the house on more than one occasion to help Dean when he made to much noise during Robbie’s nap time. as Dean put it; “It’s hard for a moose your size to keep it down.” Sam just rolled his eyes while Cas, Dean, Cain and Kevin laughed.

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Over the next two months, Dean and Cas built a new routine with Cain, Kevin and Sam and it seemed to be working very well. They finished fencing in new pastures for the mares that would soon arrive, the brood mare barn got the final touches completed and Dean had bought three mares that would be arriving the day after Sam’s birthday. After another close call with a newborn calf and some coyotes, Dean decided to turn a piece of open land across from the house and barn into birthing pens for the cows. They built large sheds inside the oversized pens and filled them with soft bedding and round bales of hay. The pens were big enough to hold two to three pregnant heifers at a time and it put Dean’s mind at ease knowing he wouldn’t be losing any of his animals to the coyotes who were getting braver by the day.

Ellen came over to watch Emma So Cas and Dean could both be there to help move the last of the pregnant heifers into the pens. Moving sassy pregnant cows is no easy feat, they had some difficulty but with all hands-on deck and the help of Goose, it went by fairly quickly.

 Emma also worked on her relationship with her new pony Shadow under the watchful eye of Dean. They made a great team and Dean couldn’t have been happier with the little black horse. Emma went out with Dean to feed him every morning and evening and she had an endless smile the entire time she was around the animal. She loved him so much and Dean and Cas spent many hours watching her meticulously groom him to perfection and ride him through the snow in front of the house.

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May 2^nd, 2011

Now it was Sam’s birthday, and the snow was starting to melt much to the happiness of Dean. Like every birthday of mostly everyone in the family, they were heading to the Roadhouse to celebrate. Dean parked the truck and helped Emma get out while Cas grabbed the cake that he picked up for Ellen from the back seat. They headed inside and removed their coats before, as usual, Emma made a b-line for her aunt Eileen and Robbie who was playing with a few toys and squealing in a pack-and-play.

Kevin who was already considered family before he worked for Dean, was sitting at the bar talking with Sam and Cain. Cain was starting to come around more when they invited him to things, he was becoming a good friend to Dean, Cas, Sam and now Kevin who was around him the most. Dean and Cas greeted everyone before Dean was being pulled into the kitchen to help Ellen with the final touches on dinner while Cas went behind the bar to help Jo and Bobby. The bar was unusually crowded for a Monday night.

Dean brought out a tray filled with every taco topping you could possibly think of, along with salsa, chips and queso. Cas handed him a beer after he set the tray down with a soft kiss and a smile. Ellen came out a moment later carrying two large bowls, one filled with salad and the other filled with taco meat. Sam had asked for taco salad for his meal since it was customizable and could be made to be healthier. Dean just scoffed and rolled his eyes fondly at his little brothers love of salad, even on his birthday the moose was trying to stay healthy.

Once everyone was settled at the family table with full plates, Dean said, “I know we aren’t supposed to talk business during birthdays, but I have some good news.” He paused for dramatic effect. Cas smiled fondly, knowing what he was fixing to say.

Everyone waited, looking at Dean for him to continue, when bobby broke the silence. “Well spit it out boy, we aren’t mind readers.”

Dean chuckled. “I signed the papers to two stud stallions this morning. They will be here next week.”

Everyone whooped and hollered in excitement, they all knew how carefully Dean had picked these stud horses along with the mares he had picked that would be arriving the next day.

“What bloodlines did you decide to go with?” Sam asked, he had spent the last few months listening to Dean talk about different bloodlines he might want to have in the mares and stallions he buys so he can create a good all-around cow horse that can cut a cow from a herd with little effort. Sam didn’t really understand what his brother was talking about, but he listened because he knew it was important.

“The mares all have Doc Bar in their lineage. One has Playgun in her lineage, which I’m excited about because she’s a beautiful dapple-grey mare. They have a few other high dollar champions in their blood that aren’t as far down the family tree as Doc bar. One of the stallions has Peppy San Badger down the line and the other has High Brow Cat in there. To say the least, I paid a pretty penny for the well-bred horses, and we should be getting some fantastic cow horses out of these guys.” Dean smiled pridefully.

He was so happy with how everything was turning out and excited for his new horses to get here.

“I’m glad you finally decided which studs you wanted. Sounds like you got some good stock.” Sam smiled fondly at his brother.

“Let us know if you need help getting them settled when they get here. We can come help with Emma if you need it.” Ellen said. She knew Dean and Cas wouldn’t want Emma around the mares and definitely not the stallions until he made sure it would be safe for her.

“Thanks Ellen we appreciate that.” Cas said and signed.

The rest of the night continued with a game of monopoly that ended with Dean and Sam going head-to-head for the last piece of property. Emma was asleep on Bobby’s shoulder since it was a little past her bedtime. They decided to settle the game with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors and Sam won. Dean will tell you with a grumble that he let the overgrown moose win since it was his birthday much to everyone’s amusement. They ended the night with telling Sam and Eileen that his birthday present was a weekend away without the baby, they would watch Robbie for a whole weekend whenever they wanted to plan a short trip. Eileen and Sam thanked them profusely as they put a still sleeping Emma into the truck so they could head home.

When they arrived home, Dean took Emma upstairs to her room where he and Cas tucked her in for the night. Cas was going to stay inside with Emma while Dean went out and checked the last of his pregnant heifers to make sure they were doing ok. When he got out there, he was greeted by a new little calf as it tried to stand. It was minutes old and still very wet as its momma tried to clean it up. Dean called Cas and asked him to bring him a few old towels from the laundry room.

Cas threw on his large coat and pulled on his boots over his flannel pajama pants and went trudging through the remaining snow out to the new birthing pens with two towels and a sleepy Emma who was bundled up in her big coat and boots.

“What are you doing up little lady?” Dean asked as he saw his daughter, who was asleep only ten minutes ago in her warm bed.

“She had a bad dream and came into our room right after you called. I told her we had a surprise baby and she wanted to come see it.” Cas smiled.

“Ah. We do, we have a new little bull. He’s only a few minutes old.” Dean said as he gestured for her to come to the railing. He pointed into the pen that was lit by the overhead lighting they had installed when they built them. “See him?”

“Uhhuh.” Emma nodded. “He’s cute.”

“He is.” Dean agreed as he took the towels from Cas and started to help the momma, one of his first heifers who used to be a show cow, out with cleaning off her baby. “Wanna name him?” He asked Emma.

“Yeah!” Emma Declared. She thought for a moment before looking over the little all black calf and saying, “Pepper.”

“Pepper?” Dean and Cas said simultaneously. They both chuckled.

“Why Pepper?” Cas asked.

“Cause that’s the name of that black stuff daddy puts all over his sandwiches that makes me sneeze.” She wrinkled her nose.

Dean full body laughed as Cas shook his head and said, “You’re not wrong Emma.”

“Pepper it is. I’ll have to work that into his registered name.” Dean commented as the little calf stood and took his first steps over to his mother much to Emma’s amazement.

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The three broodmares arrived right on schedule the next day and were everything Dean wanted in mares from their confirmation to their attitudes. One of his main goals is to breed smart, happy, and sweet horses and the parents’ temperaments are a big part of that. Ellen and Bobby did end up coming out to meet the mares and help with Emma while Dean and Cas settled them into the ranch.

Later that day Dean got a call from Benny asking if they wanted to get together at the Roadhouse. Dean agreed enthusiastically since it had been a while since they last saw Benny and Andrea.

A few days later they were all sitting at the Roadhouse talking with Benny and Andrea and just catching up. Sam, Dean, and Cas had been playing cards and talking to Benny while Andrea caught up with Ellen, Jo, and Eileen at the bar. Emma was coloring on a stool next to Ellen.

They were in the middle of a conversation about Dean’s project truck Cas bought him when Andrea came over and whispered something into Benny’s ear. Dean had been concerned and voiced it to Cas when he saw that Andrea looked very tired and hadn’t had anything to drink other than water all night. Not that it was a bad thing, but she always had at least one drink while they were together.

Benny cleared his throat and stood up, “Umm. Can I get everyone’s attention.”

The bar was mostly empty except for a few regulars that came in. Bobby came out from the back and stood next to Ellen as all eyes turned to Benny and Andrea.

“Well, me and Andrea have an announcement.” He looked nervously down at his wife. She smiled and nodded for him to continue.

“Andreas pregnant. We’re gonna have a baby!” Benny said, excitement and nerves heard in his voice.

“Fuck yeah! Congratulations!” Dean was the first out of his chair and embracing the couple in a tight group hug.

Everyone joined in on the hugs and congratulations and when things calmed down and they were back to playing cards Cas said to Dean, “I told you.”

“Yeah Yeah I know. You were right.” Dean said teasingly with a quick kiss to Cas’s cheek.

“When is she due?” Cas asked Benny.

“End of September. We have been trying for a few years and it just never happened until now. We were waiting to tell everyone until we knew nothing was going to go wrong. That’s why she missed your birthday Dean. We didn’t know it yet, but she was in the early weeks and had morning sickness. We though she caught a stomach bug.” Benny explained.

“Well hot damn. I’m sorry it took so long; I know Andrea’s wanted this for a long time.” Dean said.

“She has. I’m just glad it finally happened.” Benny said.

“To Benny and Andrea!” Dean raised his beer glass and everyone else joined in, “May they have a smooth rest of the pregnancy and a smooth delivery of a healthy baby.”

They all shouted their agreement and clinked their glasses together in cheers.

With their friend’s happy news being celebrated, the stallions set to arrive the next week, calf season almost over, and the snow starting to melt, everything seemed to be falling into place. They were happy and Dean and Cas were determined that nothing was going to change that.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 6

Home Sweet Gay Home

The arrival of the two stallions brought a new wave of excitement to everyone on the ranch. The stallions Dean bought were very well mannered and good-tempered animals. Even though the broodmare barn and pastures were far enough away from the small stallion barn they had built, Dean was still glad to see that the stallions didn’t seem to be bothered by the mares a couple of pastures over. Dean was taking the rest of May to let the new horses settle in and get comfortable before he called Crowley out to start the breeding process.

Dean wished he would’ve been able to have the mares at the ranch earlier so he could have bred them earlier, June is a little late to breed but he decided along with Crowley’s help, that breeding one of the mares was fine and to start in March or April with the other two the next year so the foals can be born after the snow is mostly melted and the grass is good for grazing.

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June 2011

Crowley had come out on the first of June, and they had decided to breed the dapple-grey mare who Emma renamed Stormy because she thought the mare looked like a storm cloud, to the red roan stallion Dean had named Swayze because of his not-so-secret love of Patrick Swayze and Dirty Dancing. With that out of the way, now it’s just a waiting game for the next few weeks until recheck to see if she is pregnant.

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Father’s Day weekend 2011.

Dean had spent the day before cleaning the house while Cas had taken Emma out on a date since Ellen and Eileen would be making dinner at the ranch on father’s day for all the dads. What Dean didn’t know was that Cas was not only taking Emma out on a father/daughter date, but he was also taking her to make Dean a Father’s Day present. Cas had asked Emma what she wanted to get Dean for Father’s Day the week before and she said she wanted to make him something. Cas had done some research, and he found a father/daughter pottery class in Bozeman. When he told Emma, she got very excited and promised not to tell her daddy what they were doing so it would be a surprise.  

So, they left the ranch early the Friday before Father’s Day and headed into Bozeman for the class. A huge grin never left Castiel’s face as he watched Emma meticulously paint a slightly crooked but very usable coffee mug, the words ‘World’s Best Dad’ were carved into the side. While Emma painted the mug, Cas painted Dean a bowl that he could either put on his nightstand or dresser that could hold his wallet, watch, keys, and anything else that he usually dropped haphazardly on the nearest surface in the bedroom. With the help of the instructor, they applied a sealant after the paint was dry so they could take them home that day instead of waiting for them to be cured.

“That’s a very pretty color Emma.” Cas commented on the color she had carefully covering the whole mug in.

“Tanks Poppa. I paint it like your eyes since Daddy says your eyes are his favorite.” she said proudly.

Cas chuckled, “Oh, is that what Daddy says.” He knew very well how much Dean loved his eyes; and Cas loved Dean’s just as much. He loved getting lost in the depths of Dean’s impossibly green eyes. They were one reason why he was painting the bowl he picked out for Dean a dark green. It had been his favorite color since – well since he first met Dean at camp when they were kids.

After they were done with the pottery class, they drove back to Livingston and went to the local diner owned by Kevin’s mother. It was their collective favorite place in town to eat. They had a good lunch, Cas asked Emma what she wanted to be for Halloween because she was extremely excited to dress up after Dean had mentioned how he hadn’t been able to dress up since Sam was a kid. Cas was surprised to hear that Emma had never dressed up or gone trick or treating before, much like himself. It was just one more thing that brought them closer and he couldn’t wait to remedy that for them both.

After lunch they went to get ice cream and then the local store to get wrapping paper for their presents. It was only 1pm when they got back to the ranch and Emma had almost immediately fallen asleep for a rare afternoon nap. The last few days had been busy for her considering Cas took her out that day, they had gone to the Roadhouse the last two nights and ran errands for the ranch every day that week. Dean was taking her out for the same type of quality daddy/daughter time the next day, the day before Father’s Day.

Cas went to help Ellen at the bar that Saturday while Dean took Emma on their date. They went to the park where Dean sweated his ass off and thought he might pass out from playing so much tag with her. He was a little envious that Emma wasn’t breathing hard at all, and he could barely breathe. They then went to lunch after spending over an hour playing in the park. Emma had requested Benny’s restaurant, so they made the drive out there and had a great time. It was a pleasant surprise for Benny, he gave them their meals on the house since it was Dean’s first Father’s Day. While they ate Dean showed Emma some of the pictures he had taken of her and Cas when they weren’t paying attention. He had taken a lot, probably just as many as he knew Cas had taken of him and Emma. He wanted Emma to pick her favorite of her and Cas and they were going to print it and frame it for Castiel’s desk in their shared office.

Once they were done eating and Emma had picked out a photo, they went to the nearest store that printed pictures and had picture frames. Dean also was going to give Cas a picture of the three of them that Eileen had taken recently. While they waited for the pictures to print, Dean and Emma picked out frames and wrapping paper for them. They arrived home before Cas did, so they took the opportunity to wrap both pictures. Dean was excited for Cas to see the pictures; the one of the three of them was currently Dean’s phone background and his favorite picture.

After Cas got home, Emma went out to feed the chickens with him while Dean got started on the meat for beef enchiladas. When they came back inside, Emma went about helping Dean fill the tortillas, roll them up and put them in the dish to bake. He poured his homemade enchilada sauce over them and covered them in cheese before putting them in the oven. It always surprised Dean that this was one of Emma’s favorite meals. They did their usual nightly routine of checking the horses and the chickens before heading back inside to get ready for bed. Saturday was movie night in the Winchester-Novak household. So, they let Emma pick and tonight she ended up picking The Princess and the Frog; her favorite next to Tangled.

Sunday June 19^th, 2011. Father’s Day.

Today was Father's Day. Dean, Cas, and Sam’s first Father’s Day. They were all excited. Emma woke them up early, excited to give them their presents.

“Can we do it now pweeeeaaasssseeeee!” she squealed as she bounced up and down. Dean and Cas both tried their hardest to wake up, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes and stretching.

“Sure kiddo. Why don’t you go get them.” Dean told her.

“Yes!” she exclaimed and ran out of their bedroom, The Colonel right beside her.

“If I could bottle that type of energy and sell it, we would be billionaires.” Dean joked. Cas snorted. He wasn’t wrong, Emma always had endless energy.

She came back into the room with the two wrapped presents. Dean chuckled at the very obvious mug shaped present she gave him.

“Gee I wonder what this could be?” He feigned confusion. Emma giggled as she watched him open it. Dean unwrapped it and when he read it and saw the color, he felt tears prick behind his eyes. If it hadn’t hit him before it was hitting him now. He was a father, and he had a family with the man he loved.

“Emma it’s perfect. I love it. The color looks like Pappa’s eyes and we both know his eyes are my favorite.” Dean kissed her on the top of her head. This is the only coffee mug I will be using for the rest of my life. He thought to himself as he stared at the mug that was so clearly painted with all the care his sweet girl could muster.

“Here.” Cas’s voice broke through Dean’s thoughts of all the mornings he was going to use his very special mug. He handed Dean another wrapped blob. This one not so obvious as to what it was. Dean smiled at Cas as he unwrapped this one.

“I thought you needed somewhere to put your wallet, keys, watch, and whatever else you want to put in there.” Cas smiled back.

“Your just tired of my keys stabbing you in the foot when you step on my pants in the bathroom while I’m showering.” Dean smirked.

Cas rolled his eyes, “You caught me.” they both started to laugh.

“I love it. Thank you both.” Dean hugged Emma then kissed Cas quickly before running into the closet to grab Cas’s present from him.

“You go first Em.” Dean said.  

Emma handed Cas his present and he unwrapped it. “Oh Emma. I love it. I will put it on my desk so I can think of you always.” It was one of his favorite pictures; the two of them in the chicken coop, him squatted down and Emma with her arms wrapped around his neck and a huge smile on her face, a basket of eggs in one hand. It was the first time she gathered eggs with him. He adored it.

Dean handed his picture next. It was bigger, big enough to fit nicely on the wall in the office. “Eileen sent this to me the other day. I wanted to print it immediately.” Cas said to Dean. “Thank you so much love.”

“I had the same idea when she showed it to me, and I knew you would want it for the office.” Dean said. The picture was of the three of them one night after dinner when they were having dessert with Sam, Eileen and Robbie on the porch. Emma was sitting in the middle of the porch swing with Dean and Cas on either side of them, all three smiling brightly.

“Let’s go put these in the office and get Daddy some coffee in his new mug.” Cas suggested.

Emma happily agreed and they all headed downstairs. Emma helped them hang the bigger picture and she placed the smaller one on Castiel’s desk. She then helped Dean make some coffee in his new mug. They had a slow morning, a good morning. And that evening was no different. They had a relaxing dinner and just spent time together as a family. Dean found himself reminiscing about past Father’s Days spent with his dad when he was young, before his mother died. They were good, happy events that his mother, Mary, celebrated. The same went for Mother’s Day, John would make sure the boys had presents and flowers for Mary and they would make her breakfast. That all changed after Mary died but Ellen and Bobby did their best.

Dean couldn’t tell you what conversations were happening around him; he was too lost in thought about how much he loved the people sitting on his porch. Ellen and Bobby, the two people who stepped in when they didn’t have too to raise him and Sam. He would forever be grateful to them, he owed them everything and loved them more than they would ever know. Jo, the little sister he never wanted but couldn’t imagine living life without. Then there was Sammy, his baby brother, he helped raise him and protected him; the love he had for his brother was unexplainable. He watched him grow up, get an education, and find the woman of his dreams and build the family that now included his precious nephew, Robbie.

 And then there was Cas; a blast from the past that haunted him for so long, come to save him from the torment his mind loved to inflict on him. whether Cas knew it or not, he was Dean’s savoir, the love he has for the man sitting next to him had brought him to his knees more than once. He would do anything for Cas, the man who accepted Emma with open arms and a love like no other. Emma, she was roasting a marshmallow on a stick over the little firepit they had on the patio. He watched her, smile stuck to his face the entire time. He can’t think too long about the fact that he almost remained in the dark about her existence, he couldn’t bear to think about that. No, instead he focused on the fact that she was here, in his life and experiencing all the love she deserves. He didn’t get 9 months or more, like most people to get used to the idea of being a father, it was thrust upon him in a matter of minutes. Fatherhood has changed him, it’s changed Cas, though he knows both of them would never change what has happened the last few months. They are a family, and Dean would do anything for his family.

“Where did you go?” Cas whispered in his ear, breaking him from his reminiscing.

Dean smiled and kissed him gently on the lips. “Just thinking about how lucky I am. how lucky we are.”

Cas hummed and settled his head onto Dean’s shoulder, “I quite agree.”

They watched as Emma giggled and tried to fix herself a smore, her face covered in chocolate, her fingers sticky with marshmallow.

This must be what paradise is like.

-----------------------------------------------------

Two days later. Thursday, June 21^st, 2011

Dean and Cas had spent the morning feeding horses with the help of Emma and then going out on a family trail ride. Their life had been enhanced tenfold since that little girl walked into their lives. Now it seemed like she had always been there. Dean was currently making lunch while Emma played in her room under the watchful gaze of The Colonel who rarely left her side. It was a rare weekday where Dean had a little extra time to slow down. Cas was sitting at the kitchen island looking at horses on his computer. If everyone thought Dean was picky about horses, they had no idea how picky Cas was when it came to picking the horse he would be riding for the foreseeable future. He had been looking since Christmas.

Dean looked up from where he was spreading mayo on a piece of bread when he heard Cas sigh. He snorted, “I’m thinking about picking one out for you and surprising you with it since you can’t seem to make up your mind.”

Cas glared at his fiancé, “I wouldn’t put it past you. Nothing is jumping out at me, or anything. I keep expecting to run across one and just know that’s my horse. But nothing.”

Dean put down the mayo knife and bread and walked around the island to wrap his arm around Cas’s shoulders and turn his chin with the other up to meet him for a languid, loving kiss. When they broke Dean said, “It’s not a pair of boots sweetheart. You can’t just see a pair and know they are gonna be good. You gotta try them out but you have yet to make any appointments to try any horses.”

Cas let out a long breath. “You’re right. I’m just nervous that’s all.”

“I know. How about this, show me some horses and their descriptions, and I’ll help you pick out a few I think would be a good fit for you for the long haul then I’ll go with you to test ride them.” Dean offered with a kiss to Cas’s forehead before returning to his sandwich making.

Cas smiled fondly, “Thank you love, that would be great.”

Dean opened his mouth to make a sexual favors joke when a very insistent knocking came from the front door. They both turned to look at the front door like they had x-ray vision to see who was there.

“Are we expecting anyone?” Cas asked as he stood up.

“No. it’s not Kevin or Cain, they would knock once then come on in.” Dean said.

Cas nodded in agreement. “I’ll go see who it is.”

He walked over to the door as more insistent knocking came, “I’m coming, one second!” He called, baffled by who it could be.

Cas pulled the door open quickly, “Can I help y – .” The words fell from his mouth as his eyes landed on the last person he thought he would ever see on his doorstep.

He was sure his face was as white as a ghost as his mother, Naomi said, “Hello Castiel. Nice of you to finally answer the door.”

Cas just stared at his mother, mouth agape as Dean’s voice broke through the static that was playing in his mind. “Cas baby, who was at the d-oor.” Dean started as he walked towards the door, stuttering the last word as his eyes fell on the person on his porch. His blood instantly boiled. He had seen only one picture of Naomi Novak and would know her perpetually pissed off face anywhere. What the fuck was she doing on his property?

Dean stared daggers at her for a moment before turning around, running his hands roughly through his hair, and grumbling, “I gotta put up a goddamn gate!” As he walked back towards the kitchen before turning back and coming to stand next to Cas, a protective hand resting on Castiel’s hip.

Cas was broken out of his mind as his mother turned her hateful gaze to Dean, “You must be the man who has been corrupting my son.” It seemed like she couldn’t help but let the snarky remark slip out.

“Nope, that’s it.” Dean bellowed and moved Cas out of the way before he could utter a response. Dean stepped out onto the patio and brought himself to his full heigh, towering over Naomi and only a mere few inches from her, “Get the fuck off my property.” He gritted out as he pointed towards his driveway.

Dean saw something in Naomi seem to falter as her face softened and she took a deep breath.

“How dare you talk to him like that.” Cas seethed, coming to stand next to Dean. “You have no right to even be here. Dean’s right, get the fuck off our property.”

Dean could see Cas shaking. This was about as surprising as surprise guests came. And extremely unwanted. Cas didn’t want anything to do with his mother. Though he had to admit he was a little curious why she was here.

“I – I’m sorry. Let me try again. That was no way to start introductions.” She tried to smile but it came out so forced and looked so foreign on her face that seemed to only have frown lines on it. “You must be Dean. I’m Naomi Novak. Castiel’s mother.”

“I know who the hell you are. What I can’t figure out is why the fuck you’re standing on our porch when the last time Cas saw you, he ripped you a new asshole. He doesn’t want to see you, so whatever it is you are trying to do by coming here. Don’t. leave now.” Dean growled and crossed his arms. At that moment The Colonel came barreling down the stairs and put himself between his owners and Naomi, barking madly at her as he tried to back his owners into the house.

Naomi jumped backwards and nearly fell down the steps. Dean had to stifle a laugh as a visual of that played through his mind.

“Colonel, release. Sit.” Cas said The Colonels command to make him let his guard down and sit in front of them. The Colonel was still on guard, obeying his owner’s commands but growling and never taking his eyes from Naomi.

She looked shaken and seemed to be a bit scared of the large dog, as the now apparent fake confidence and persona fell away more. “This was the only place I could go.” She blurted out as she pointed to her suitcase next to her. “I – I need help. And I didn’t know what else to do or where to go.” She looked down in defeat.

Dean wanted to believe her, but from what he had witnessed and heard from the whole Novak family, she was a manipulative piece of work who only cared about herself. Dean looked from her to Cas, whose face said he felt pity but also was still distrustful towards her. There was no telling what she really wanted by coming here.

“What do you mean? You have a whole ten thousand square foot house in the city, two maids, and enough money to be set for the rest of your life. What could you possibly want by coming here?” Cas asked, anger seeping into his words.

“Please Castiel. Dean, if I can call you that. Can I please come in and talk with you both?” She begged.

Dean had looked around and noticed no car, she had obviously taken a cab to get here. This all seemed so strange for this person who was supposed to be set for life to be begging for help at their doorstep. Dean truly didn’t know what to think and he could see that Cas was just as confused as he was. He looked to Cas, wanting to do whatever Cas wanted to do. If he wanted to hear her out, she could come inside. If he wanted her gone, he would make that happen even if he needed to make a call to the sheriff who he was good friends with.

Cas gave a weary nod to Dean and said with a sigh of irritation, “You can come in. I will listen to what you have to say then you will be on your way.” He turned on his heel and walked inside the house. Dean was right behind him as Naomi struggled to get her suitcase in the door.

What the fuck does she have in there? Dean thought, chuckling to himself as she struggled. He was enjoying watching someone who thought everyone else was below them, be brought down off their pedestal and run through the dirt. Dean was sure that she had never had to carry her own suitcase before now.

Cas was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He was confused and beyond frustrated. He was glad Emma hadn’t come down. Oh god Emma! She doesn’t need to be around this. He stood up just as Dean was walking into the living room snickering. “Dean, Call Sam to come get Emma. She doesn’t need to be around here for the shit show that might go down.”

“Your right.” Dean agreed as he pulled his phone out and walked into the dining room to call Sam.

Not even a minute later he came back into the living room and told Cas, “He’s on his way.”

Cas nodded and sat back down. Just then Naomi came in, her expensive fur coat gone and now in just her pants suit. Dean pointed at the smaller couch to the left of the larger couch he and Cas were sitting on. She took a seat and sighed heavily. They sat in silence for a moment, no one seeming to know what to say, when the back door opened, Sam catching Dean’s eye from the other side of the kitchen.

“I’ll be right back.” Dean said before squeezing Cas’s leg and getting up to go upstairs to get Emma, The Colonel hot on his heels. He came back down a moment later and as he was putting on her coat and boots, she said, “I wanna tell Pappa bye.”

Dean sighed. He had hoped to avoid Naomi seeing Emma at all, but he wasn’t about to deny his daughter something as simple as giving her Pappa a hug. He nodded and she got up and sprinted into the living room, The Colonel right by her side. Emma launched herself into Castiel’s arms and he hugged her tightly.

“Bye Pappa.” She whispered.

“You won’t be gone long Sweetpea.” Cas said quietly as he kissed the top of her head. She nodded and ran back to Dean, but not before she glanced at Naomi. Dean was watching the entire interaction and noticed the moment of surprise and disbelief on Naomi’s face.

“Daddy, who’s that?” she asked quietly.

“No one to worry about. Go with Uncle Sam.” Dean said gently, running a soothing hand through her hair. She nodded and ran excitedly to Sam. He picked her up and nodded at Dean, them having one of their brotherly silent conversations. The only thing Dean told Sam was that Castiel’s mother had shown up completely unannounced and they didn’t want Emma around her. That was all Sam needed to come barreling down the mile long driveway between his house and Dean’s to get his niece.

After Dean had sat down next to Cas again, Naomi finally spoke. “Who was… Was that – .” She couldn’t seem to find the right sentence.

“That was our daughter, Emma.” Cas said coldly.

She looked shocked. “Impossible.” She muttered. “Two men cannot raise a child.”

Cas snorted in anger, “Because you did so much better.”

At the same time Dean growled, “Wanna try that again? Or would you rather just go ahead and leave because I would prefer the later.”

She sneered at Dean then turned her attention to Cas, “I did my best with you, but you were a stubborn child.”

“You did your best? You weren’t even there!” Cas bellowed. “A – an – an – and when you were, you were only there to punish me or tell me how I failed you at everything I did. That little girl is our daughter. We will raise her and love her more than you were ever capable of.”

“You don’t need two parents of different genders to raise and love a child. You just need two good people regardless of gender. It’s not that difficult to understand.” Dean added.

She scoffed, “We will see. Did you adopt her?” Naomi asked conversationally like she didn’t just deeply offend both of them.

“She’s Dean’s biological child but she is our daughter, not just Dean’s.” Cas explained.

“I see…” She paused, seeming to think through her next comment. “She is beautiful.”

“Thanks.” They both said awkwardly, glancing towards each other in confusion.

“Alright, cut the crap. Why are you here?” Dean asked sternly, ready for this to be over.

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go. Chuck won’t talk to me, Michael and Anna won’t talk to me, and Gabriel, well I won’t ever repeat what he said to me when I called him.”  

Dean snorted and mumbled, “Good for him.”

“I need help.” She repeated for the second time that afternoon.

“What could you possibly need help with? Your set for life. Michael told me himself.” Cas stated.

“I’m broke Castiel!” Naomi snapped.

Cas and Dean looked on in shock. They both knew how much she got, more than enough for any one person to live a very generous life.

“I lost the house, the cars. Everything. I had enough money to buy a plane ticket and cab ride here.” She explained.

“How the fuck did you lose everything?” Dean asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

Naomi ducked her head, unwilling to meet their eyes. “I met someone. He told me he wanted to invest it for me, he lied to me and by the time I figured it out… It was too late. He took everything.”

Cas nodded in disbelief, “Of course. So where is the guy now?”

“I don’t know. He disappeared into thin air once the last of my money was taken out of my account.” She finally looked up to meet their eyes. “I tried Castiel. I tried for the last few months to get back on my feet, but things started getting taken away and then I got evicted.” She sighed, “I used the last few hundred dollars that I happened to have in cash to buy a plane ticket to get here to this – place of residence.”

“It’s called a ranch sweetheart, it’s not a dirty word, you can say it. Or would that tarnish your pristine reputation?” Dean said sarcastically.

Naomi glared at Dean while Cas snickered. “I was unaware of what to call your home. I just need a place to stay for a while so I can get back on my feet. Please. It has taken a lot for me to admit to needing help. I don’t have any more family Castiel, you know this. Your all I have left.” Naomi finished softly. Dean and Cas could tell that her tough and bitchy exterior was beginning to crumble. But they weren’t sure that they believed her.

“Give me a minute, I need to make a phone call.” Cas said as he stood. Dean knew what he was going to do. He was going to call Gabriel to find out if his mother was lying. They sat in silence while Cas was gone. 15 minutes later Cas came out of the office and motioned for Dean to join him in the kitchen.

“So?” Dean asked anxiously.

“Gabriel said everything is true. The money, the house, the car, the goddamn boat. It’s all gone. Everything she owns is in her suitcase. He called the bank and her lawyer to see what was true and he found out everything.” Cas sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. “He apologized for not telling me, he really didn’t think she would contact me let alone show up here."

“Fuck. Ok, so what do you want to do?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know. She seems… Off. She never would’ve come here if it wasn’t her last option next to being homeless.”

“Ok so let her be homeless.”

“Dean.” Cas nudged his shoulder.

“What, she was a horrible mother and now she’s being forced to see life differently.” Dean shrugged. He had never felt more hate and annoyance for any one person.

“I can’t let her go homeless.” Cas turned to look at his mother who was picking at her nails. Now that he looked at her, he could see how different she looked since the last time he had seen her; less put together and more haggard. Her hair not the picture of perfection, her clothes wrinkled, very little makeup and her nails were chewed to the bone, all extremely out of the ordinary for his mother.

“Cas I can’t watch you let her hurt you any more than she already has. It’s not going to be good for anyone. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change themselves.” Dean advised.

“That’s solid advice Dean. But I’m not going to let her hurt me. This time she’s in my house, under our rules. She can’t control me.” Cas stood straighter.

“Damn straight. So, you’re saying you want her to stay?”

Cas nodded, “Just for the summer. If she is acting like an asshole by the end of next week she is gone. We will set ground rules. Especially since Emma is in the house. I don’t want her doing what she did to me to Emma. I won’t allow it.”

“Me either. This is a big risk Cas.” Dean said.

“I know. But I just feel like I need to help her. I can’t explain it.”  

Dean sighed. “Ok. Let’s go tell her.”

Cas nodded and they both walked into the living room.

“Did you find out everything you needed too?” Naomi asked.

“We did. We have agreed that you can stay here for the summer. We will help you get on your feet but there are rules.” Cas started.

“I appreciate your generosity, both of you.” She said.

“This is our house; you will follow our rules. If you don’t like it, you can leave. The hatefulness and resentment towards me ends here. I am no longer your punching bag. I’m allowing you to stay in our home therefore we both deserve respect.” Cas started.

Naomi hung her head and nodded, “I understand that. What else?”

“Me and Dean are together. He is my fiancé, and I am his. I know where you stand on me being gay, but you will have to put your hatred aside and maybe you will learn something about real love while you are here. Secondly, Emma is our daughter. You have zero right to parent her in any way. Any interactions with Emma will be supervised by myself or Dean. If you disrespect either of us or anyone in our family, you will be escorted off our land and never to contact me ever again.” Cas concluded as Dean nodded in agreement.

“I understand. – Thank you both.” The last part seemed hard for her to say. Dean figured she’d never told anyone thank you before, or hadn’t in many, many years.

“I’ll look over your financial situation tomorrow, for the rest of today I think you should get settled in. I can show you to your room.” Cas went to stand up.

“Ya sure you don’t want to put her in the bunkhouse with Kevin and Cain?” Dean asked with a wicked grin.

Naomi looked mortified as Cas laughed, “No, I would never put them through that torture.”

He motioned for Naomi to follow him as Dean got up and went to go get Emma from Sam’s. Neither one was sure how this was going to turn out, Dean understood helping family out, but this woman was the farthest thing from family. He could deal with a few jabs towards himself, but if she went after Cas or Emma, he was going to throw her out on her ass. He wouldn’t stand for it. He could see the hurt in Cas’s eyes that he was trying to hide. Cas had told him several times that he wished he could have a decent relationship with his mother. He loved Ellen like a mother, but there was so much pain from his childhood that he wished Naomi would change and they could have a second chance at a mother/son relationship. Dean hoped that for Cas’s sake, she would change, get some time to see what a great man and father Cas was, and see that she was wrong about him his entire life. Dean hoped this wouldn’t end badly and send Cas spiraling back into the trenches that Dean dug him out of when he first got to Montana.

--------------------------------------------------

Dean finished making lunch with the help of Emma when he got back from getting her from Sam’s. Cas went back to his laptop to save the profiles of several horses he liked so he could show Dean, the whole-time thoughts of his childhood and how this whole shit show with his mother might turn out, ran through his mind. He was worried, but he wasn’t going to allow her to control him anymore. Dean was the only person that knew he wished his mother would change like his father did, he saw this as an opportunity to help her change if she was willing too. He knew Dean was also worried about him, but Cas knew he would keep him from falling into the same rut he was in when he first arrived.

Dean and Cas both noticed Naomi watching the way Dean interacted with Emma. She seemed confused, like Dean shouldn’t be letting her help him. Cas knew this was from how she treated her own children; to Naomi, children shouldn’t be seen or heard, they should exist quietly in the background and hardly interact with their parents. Cas couldn’t help but chuckled quietly and smile fondly at his little family as Dean praised Emma for flipping her grilled cheese and kissing the top of her head while Naomi’s mouth fell open in surprise at the loving interaction between father and daughter.

Before they sat down, Dean and Cas introduced Emma to Naomi.

“Emma, this is Naomi. She’s Pappa’s mother but that doesn’t matter. She will be staying with us for a while.” Dean introduced her reluctantly.

Emma clung to Dean’s leg but gave a small wave, “Hi.”

“Hello.” Naomi said coldly. Cas knew that she thought this introduction was pointless considering her thoughts on children. But that cycle was going to be broken here and now.

Dean whispered in Emma’s ear to go sit at the table, and when she ran off, he stood up and came to stand threateningly over Naomi. “The rules of respect we put into place apply to our child too if you remember. Get the fucked-up ways you believe children should be treated out of your head, because I will not allow my child to feel uncomfortable in her own home. understood?” he all but growled.

Dean watched as her hardened face softened just a touch. Somewhere deep inside her mind knew she was in the wrong. Dean was curious where all the thoughts about children and her internalized homophobia started.

“I understand. I don’t get it. But I understand your rules.” She couldn’t meet his gaze.

“Good. Now we eat.”

Cas was leaning against the island with his arms crossed, protective and dominating Dean was way sexier than he had any right to be. Cas needed to make sure Dean knew how much he appreciated him later.

They ate sandwiches for lunch, Dean made an extra one for Naomi, and Cas and Dean both had to stifle their chuckles when she first wrinkled her nose at the cold cut sandwich. Cas knew that she had never had a sandwich in her life. The food she consumed her whole life consisted of gourmet meals prepared by private chefs since she was a little girl. Once she took a bite, she ended up finishing her food before anyone else. She wouldn’t admit it, but she liked the sandwich.

The rest of the day was spent trying to ignore the fact that Naomi was watching Cas and Dean interact with each other or Emma. They both could feel when she was watching even if they didn’t see her. It was grating on Dean’s nerves. He was used to doing whatever he wanted to his fiancé in his house and Naomi’s presence made him feel like he was walking on eggshells. Cas seemed to be feeling the same way since he was keeping his distance from Dean. Well to hell with that! Dean wasn’t going to stand for that. He wasn’t even sure if Cas realized what was happening in just the few short hours since his mother’s arrival.

He was standing in the doorway of the dining room into the kitchen, leaning against the doorjamb with his arms crossed. Thankfully Emma went up to her room with The Colonel to play until dinner was ready. Cas was doing some work for the ranch on his computer, deep in thought but his leg was bouncing like crazy, a nervous habit Dean hadn’t seen him do in months. Dean was biding his time; he was waiting for Naomi to either go into the kitchen for something or to turn around and study Cas again like she kept doing. Dean just couldn’t figure out what she was trying to do by watching them so closely.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was only about 15 minutes; Naomi stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water.

That’s when Dean made his move.

He walked into the kitchen and stood behind Cas, (Who was oblivious to what was happening.) He waited for Naomi to turn back to face Cas from filling her glass at the fridge. The minute she turned she made eye contact with Dean who winked wickedly, then he grabbed Cas’s chair and quickly turned his around to face him. Cas yelped in surprise as he came face to face with a grinning Dean.

Dean placed one hand on the side of Cas’s neck, sweeping his thumb gently across his cheek as his other hand rested on the counter next to Cas. “Heyya sweetheart.” Dean said, his voice a low rumble, leaning down and rubbing his nose against Cas’s.

“Hello love.” Cas said with a soft smile. He threaded his fingers through Dean’s belt loops to pull him in between his now parted legs.

As soon as Dean saw Cas completely relax in his hold and smile, he knew he was doing the right thing. Dean leaned down and brought Cas into a passionate kiss. Maybe it was slightly inappropriate with another person in the room, but she deserved to feel awkward after the last few hours of rudely staring at them.

Dean was surprised to feel Cas nip his bottom lip, he chuckled into the kiss and gave Cas’s lip a slight tug before breaking the kiss. He straightened up and ran his thumb across Cas’s cheek again. “Later babe.” He winked and smiled mischievously.

Dean looked up at where a stunned Naomi was standing, glass halfway to her mouth. “Get used to it sister. In this house we show affection and love. Staring is rude, so if you’re going to stare, eventually you’re going to get an eyeful.” He turned his attention to Cas, “I’m going to go check the horses then start dinner.”

Cas nodded and stood up, “Sounds fine Dean.” Cas pecked him on the lips before closing his laptop. Dean walked towards the door with a satisfied smile on his face. He hoped Naomi had learned a lesson about the consequences of staring.

Cas turned to his mother, his face feeling like it was on fire. He had forgotten she was even in the house and was so immersed in what he was looking at for the ranch that he didn’t notice that she came in the kitchen.

“I’m not going to apologize for kissing my fiancé in my own home. But I will apologize for his occasional childishness. Frustration sometimes gets the better of him. But he is not wrong, and I stand behind him one thousand percent.” Cas paused, gauging his mother’s reaction. She just narrowed her eyes at him. This pissed Cas off, so he continued, “I don’t know what you’re trying to do by staring at us constantly, but it needs to stop. I’ll give you a pass for the staring, but you will treat my daughter with respect. Your introduction to her was strike one. Don’t make two more mistakes.”

And with that Cas grabbed his laptop and took it into the office, not giving his mother a chance to answer and leaving her standing there alone, mouth agape.

------------------------------------------------------------

Several days later

“Dean!” Cas called through the upstairs hallway.

He furrowed his brow when he heard Emma say, “Daddy’s not up here Pappa!”

Cas chuckled and walked into her room where she was coloring as usual, this time both The Colonel and Miracle were by her side.

“Do you know where he is?” Cas asked as he squatted down next to her.

She nodded and pointed out her window. Outside her window was the broodmare pastures and Dean’s new garage where he kept all his tools and worked on Baby, or the truck Cas gave him. It was getting dark, so when Cas stood up to look out the window, he immediately saw sparks arching through one of the garage windows.

“What the fuck?” Cas mumbled. “I – I’ll be right back. Stay here.” He walked quickly out of Emma’s room and took the stairs two at a time. Not even bothering to put his coat on, he ripped the door open and ran outside and into the garage. Once Dean was in sight, he immediately recognized what he was doing. Dean was welding something with Led Zeppelin blaring in the background. Cas couldn’t see what it was though.

“Dean!” Cas covered his eyes and yelled over the sound of Dean’s welding, hoping he wouldn’t scare him.

Dean stopped his welding, turning to Cas and lifted the welding mask with a smile. “Hey sweetheart.”

Cas approached him and pointed to the welding equipment he had no idea Dean owned. “Dean what are you doing? Where did you get all this, and do you even know how to weld?”

Dean shrugs with a mischievous smile, “Eh, not well. But with a little help from Bobby and looking at videos on boobtube. Seemed easy enough.”

Cas stared on in disbelief, head tilted to the side, trying to remember when he would’ve bought the equipment.

“Now get outta here sweet cheeks so I can finish this.” With a grin and a roguish wink, he nodded the visor down and waited for Cas to turn around before he started to weld again.

Cas heard sparks flying as he shook his head and walked back into the house. Cas knew Dean too well, and he could tell something was bothering him by his use of his made-up word “Boobtube” instead of YouTube. He walked back into the house and into the office to continue looking at his mother’s financial situation that was continuing to frustrate him. He couldn’t understand how someone who previously worked at and owned a law firm was suddenly this bad with money.

Two hours later Cas had a pounding headache, and Dean came whistling back into the house carrying two large wooden things under his arm. Oh boy. Cas thought as he watched Dean, not saying a word to him as he winked and continued his path to the living room. Cas watched as Dean climbed a small ladder and hung one of the apparent signs he was making. Cas waited for Dean to finish hanging it in the empty space next to the fireplace before he read what it said. It had rainbow color-stained wooden slats framed in welded steel with ‘Home Sweet Gay Home’, in steel lettering welded overtop the rainbow slats.

Cas was confused about why Dean would suddenly have made this sign and whatever the other one was. It was something he normally would’ve told Cas about but clearly it was part of a vendetta, and Cas didn’t need to guess who it was against. He waited as Dean admired his work before nodding and grabbing his ladder and the other large piece of wood and headed into the kitchen. Cas took a quick picture of the sign in the living room and sent it to Gabriel, knowing he would appreciate it and Dean’s creative ability.

Cas took a seat at the island as he watched Dean contemplate where to put the large sign. He settled right above the sink which was directly in front of Cas. With the placement of both signs, there was no way anyone who came in would miss them. Once Dean was done hanging the last one, Cas looked up to see what it said. It was a long piece of rectangular wood that Dean had stained a natural color to match the kitchen. Routed in the middle then stained a black color were the words ‘Ye Ole Gay Kitchen’. Cas threw his head back in laughter. He honestly loved both signs and thought they fit them well, but he was extremely curious what had happened to cause Dean to make them.

“Dean what possessed you to make these signs? Not that I don’t love them by the way.” Cas said as he wiped a tear of laughter from his eye.

“Naomi said something homophobic that I don’t even want to repeat the day after she got here, so instead of yelling at her, I thought she should have a constant reminder of who’s house she’s in.” Dean explained with a smirk.

“So, you made those in the past four days?”

Dean nodded.  

“Goddamn I’m engaged to a genius. Could you be any sexier right now?” Cas concluded as he stood and walked around the island to grab onto Dean’s hips and pull him in for a heated kiss.

“Maybe I should make more things if it turns you on this much.” Dean smirked and grabbed a handful of Cas’s ass. “I ordered a gate with a code box the other day. Supposed to be here tomorrow.” Dean added.

“Good. I don’t want any more unwanted surprise guests.” Cas said as he pecked Dean’s cheek, then turned to open the fridge to pull out ingredients for dinner.

“You and me both angel.” Dean agreed as he pulled a pot for the spaghetti out of the cabinet.

The apparent interaction Dean had with Naomi while Cas was out of the room a few days ago explained why she had seemingly been avoiding Dean and staying in her room since then. Cas didn’t mind, but he was hoping she would communicate with him more so they could maybe work on their relationship. He knew it would be hard work, but something that was buried deep inside him for so many years still yearned for a relationship with his mother. He wished to attempt to heal his inner child, though he wasn’t sure it was possible.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 7

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

Monday July 4^th, 2011

When the fourth of July or New Year rolled around, Dean was always glad his property was far enough out that fireworks couldn’t be seen or heard. His closest neighbor was a small ranch 15 miles away from him and the town was about the same distance away in the other direction. He was always thankful he never had to deal with scared animals at night.

Things had cooled down with Naomi, Cas, and Dean. The tension in the house seemed to lessen and their normal routine fell back into place. They still caught her staring but haven’t said anything to her since she excused herself during a movie one night when she had been glancing over to Dean and Cas as they were cuddled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and Emma next to them. They were both confused by her sudden departure.

She came out of the hallway bathroom when they were taking Emma to bed and Dean would’ve sworn her eyes were red rimmed from crying, but she turned away quickly. She had been there a little over two weeks and they could see her starting to soften to Emma. But she would barely say a word to Castiel, and if she did speak to him, it was cold and harsh even if it was just a greeting of good morning. Dean could see the way Cas tried to hide the hurt, but he knew Cas well, and nothing got past him.

Crowley came out today and they found out that the mare, Stormy, was indeed pregnant. Dean was ecstatic that she got pregnant on the first try. Now it was time to adjust her diet and keep her happy. Cas was excited and Emma was bouncing and squealing with joy when Dean told her the mare was going to have a baby next year.

Now they were all packed into the Tundra, heading to the roadhouse, Naomi included, to celebrate the Fourth of July with the family. Dean wasn’t happy about bringing her along, but he agreed with Cas that they couldn’t just leave her at the ranch alone. If she wanted to make amends, then she needed to meet the family and accept that this was Castiel’s life now. Cas was nervous. They couldn’t understand it, but after the first week of Naomi being in the house, Emma seemed to have made it her mission to befriend her. She tried her hardest to interact with the cross woman and after a little over a week, Naomi’s façade was crumbling more and more. Currently Emma was jabbering about her pony, Shadow. Naomi was listening, her comments more disinterested sounding than cold and mean like they had been when she first arrived. It didn’t seem to bother Emma though.

30 minutes later Dean was parking the truck in the parking lot of the Roadhouse. It was earlier than they normally arrived so the parking lot wasn’t as full as it would be in about an hour, making Kevin’s car and Cain’s old beat-up Chevy truck easily spotted.

“Ugh, the help is here.” Naomi remarked disdainfully as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Hey!” Dean snapped, “They have been nothing but nice to your sorry ass when they didn’t have to be. So once again, show some respect before I make this strike two.”

“I apologize Dean. It slipped out.” Naomi huffed a sigh.

“Slips out an awful lot.” Dean mumbled.

Cas couldn’t help but snort, “That’s what she said.”

Dean stopped, driver door ajar, left foot hanging out when he turned to Cas with a wicked grin, “I’ve rubbed off on you.”

“More than once.” Cas quipped as he leaned in and grabbed Dean by the side of his neck to pull him in for a quick kiss.

Dean smiled when they pulled back, “Touché.” Then he clamored out of the truck to open the door for Emma to climb out.

She had been drawing on her etch-a-sketch and was completely oblivious to the exchange that had just happened. Dean was sure Naomi had not gotten out of the truck in time and heard the exchange. When they started towards the door, Dean glanced at Naomi and noticed her wipe her eye and keep her head down until they got inside where she immediately excused herself to the bathroom.

Huh. Dean mused as he hung his and Emma’s coats on the rack next to Castiel’s. The family of three approached the bar where Jo was serving a drink to a regular guest. When she was finished, she grabbed two beers and an apple juice from the fridge under the bar and handed them to Cas and Dean.

She greeted Emma with a hug before asking Dean and Cas, “So, where’s the big bad wolf?” a gleam in her eye. She acted tough but she loved them like the adopted brothers they were to her. She was protective of them like the rest of the family.

“She made a b-line for the bathroom.” Dean nodded towards the restroom.

“Ah. Well don’t be surprised if mom is in a bad mood.” Jo commented.

“Why is she in a bad mood?” Cas asked, concerned.

Dean took a long pull from his beer; he knew why Ellen was pissed off. She had ripped him a new asshole for even listening to what Cas’s mother had to say when he told her and Bobby what was happening. It’s not that he didn’t agree with her, but he cared about what Cas wanted and what Cas wanted was a relationship with his mother; regardless of how unlikely that seemed to be.

“Mom told Dean that you both shouldn’t expect her to be nice to the person who treated you like shit your whole life.” Jo answered.

“I don’t expect her to be nice to her, hell I’m not that nice to her.” Dean defended. “She just doesn’t want to see you get hurt again Cas.” He concluded with a half-smile to his fiancé.  

Cas was grinning thoughtfully, “I don’t know how I found such wonderful people to become my family but I’m so glad I took Gabriel’s suggestion to the extreme. You all are my family, not Naomi. If she wants to change and make an effort with me then that’s great, but I don’t plan on letting her hurt me again.” Cas leaned down and kissed Dean where he was sitting.

When they broke away Dean smiled mischievously and reached down slip one hand in Castiel’s back pocket, squeezing his ass, “Do I need to send Emma to Ellen and Bobby’s for the night?” Dean asked with a wink. Jo fake gagged in the background while Dean flipped her off, his eyes never leaving Cas’s.

“Maybe.” Cas rested his arm around Dean’s shoulders.

“Daddy?” Emma said.

Dean let go of Cas’s ass and turned in his seat to look at his daughter. “what’s up baby?”

“Can I put something on the Jukebox?” She asked excitedly.

“Sure.” Dean chuckled and pulled out his wallet to dig a quarter out for her. He started keeping quarters in his wallet after the first time she showed interest in what she used to call the ‘music thing’. Dean had loved her interest in music and told her it was called a Jukebox. She loved the name and begged him to let her pick songs multiple times every time they came to the Roadhouse.

He handed her the quarter, and she ran over to the jukebox. Dean smiled as he watched her go. It would take her approximately 5 to 10 minutes to decide what she wanted to listen to and that was fine. She always made good choices even though she couldn’t read yet. Dean had taught her the album covers of all Led Zeppelins work, and then the rest of his classic rock favorites and some classic country he enjoyed.

Dean turned back in his seat towards the bar to find Ellen walking through the kitchen door carrying an arm full of pint glasses for the bar.

“Dean, Cas. Good to see you boys.” Ellen greeted them as she handed the glasses to Jo.

“You too Ellen.” Dean and Cas said simultaneously. It had been over a week since they had seen Ellen and Bobby due to ranch work. Ellen busied herself with telling Jo to take some drinks and chips to a couple of different tables before she wiped her hands on the towel that was slung over her should and turned to them.

“Alright, where is the woman that has the audacity to call herself your mother? Or did she decide to not come?” Ellen asked Cas. Her face set in controlled anger.

Dean snorted and took a drink of his beer as he turned to check on Emma who was still at the jukebox, leaving Cas to answer this question.

“She’s in the restroom.” Cas answered with a sigh.

“She’s hiding!” Jo yelled from across the bar. Ellen rolled her eyes and Dean and Cas laughed.

“I think Jo might be right.” Dean chimed in.

Just then Sam and Eileen came in with Robbie, Sam hauling the pack-and-play over his shoulder. Dean chuckled as he looked over to Emma who had just selected Led Zeppelin’s When the Levee Breaks as she noticed Sam and Eileen enter the bar. Her face lit up as she sprinted over to her favorite aunt and little Robbie. Dean and Cas knew she would spend the remainder of the evening glued to Eileen’s hip. It pulled at Dean’s heartstrings. She loved her cousin so much and was always doting on her baby dolls that Dean and Cas had gotten her. They both knew she would be an amazing big sister.

If only that was in the cards. Dean thought dejectedly. He downed the last of his beer as Ellen slid him another bottle. Cas sighed heavily; Dean knew Cas was thinking the same thing. They wanted to give Emma everything, including a sibling, they just didn’t know how they could do that.  Dean reached over and ran his hand along Cas’s thigh, squeezing lightly before laying a kiss on his cheek.

“I love you Cas.” Dean whispered with a half-smile.

“I love you too Dean.” Cas replied, reaching over and pulling Dean into a loving kiss. A silent conversation had passed between them that comforted them both. They just got each other like no one else did. Their tender moment was ruined by the restroom door knocking open and Naomi walking up to the bar.

Dean turned to glare at her as she cleared her throat expectantly.

“Have a seat your highness.” he said sarcastically, nodding towards the bar stool next to him.

“Ellen, this is the woman who birthed me then left me to be raised by nannies, Naomi. Mother this is Ellen, Dean’s adoptive mom.” Cas introduced her to Ellen who turned around to look her over.

Naomi glared at Cas for a moment before saying awkwardly, “How do you do.”

 Ellen only nodded before turning back to Dean and Cas. “Cas can you help me out for a few minutes, I need some veggies chopped for the burgers. They are by the sink in the kitchen.”

“Of course.” Cas said, giving Dean a quick kiss before getting up and heading into the kitchen. Cas knew this was Ellen’s way of getting herself alone with Naomi and he knew she would be kicking Dean out of earshot next.

“Dean, go help your brother get the table set up.” Ellen said.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” He quickly got up but stopped when Ellen handed him two beers to take to Sam and Eileen. He smiled and walked away quickly, not wanting to be near the beast that turned Ellen into a protective momma bear when it came to any of her kids, Cas included.

Naomi glared at her while Ellen pulled the bar towel from her shoulder and placed it on the counter, she then leaned on the counter directly across from where Naomi sat.

“You listen and you listen good.” She started. Naomi went to open her mouth to protest being spoken to that way, but Ellen beat her to it. “You don’t get to speak right now, I do. I don’t know where you get the balls to come invade Castiel’s new life and I don’t know or care why you are here. But I will tell you now that I know what pain you have caused that young man his entire life and if you came here to continue to do so, then you need to get the hell out of here now.” She took a deep breath while Naomi scowled at her. “You don’t get to come here and try to ruin the life he has built with Dean; I won’t allow that. Those boys love each other more deeply that I have ever seen, and they deserve to be happy.” Ellen concluded.

“Who are you to tell me how to treat my son.” Naomi seethed.

Ellen leaned in threateningly close. Naomi retreated slightly, leaning back in her chair. Clearly not used to being the one on the receiving end of a threat. “I was the mother he needed when he was at his lowest point. I put a roof over his head, gave him a job and showed him love and compassion when he needed it most. He is more my son than he ever will be yours. Now, if I see you treat my boys or my granddaughter with anything other than respect, I can guarantee they will never find out who did it.” Ellen stared her down while she straightened up, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have customers that need to be checked on.” And she walked away, leaving a stunned Naomi sitting at the bar alone.

Just then Cas walked back in from the kitchen carrying the tray of sliced lettuce, tomatoes, and onions along with the burger buns. He had wondered what Ellen had said to Naomi, but he assumed it was along the lines of don’t hurt my family or I’ll end you. And judging by his mother’s stunned expression as she stared after Ellen, he was right. He loved Ellen and was glad to have her on his team.

Cas sighed and walked up to his mother, “We are going to eat in a few minutes. Why don’t you come over and meet the rest of the family while we wait.”

Naomi looked more stunned than she already did. Though she would never admit it out loud, but between the confrontation with Ellen and Castiel showing her kindness and inviting her over to meet the rest of the family, it made her start to feel something other than hatred for Cas. Shame for how she always treated him was starting to set in and she didn’t know how to handle it. So, she just nodded and followed Cas over to where Dean, Sam, Eileen, Emma, and Robbie were sitting at the family table. Cain and Kevin were talking to some of the locals but would be joining the rest of the family for dinner when it was ready.  

“Sam, Eileen, this is my mother, Naomi. Mother this is Dean’s little brother Sam, his wife Eileen, and their son Robbie.” Cas introduced her, signing for Eileen as well as speaking.

“Hello. It is lovely to meet you.” She tried to sound polite, but it came out strained.

Dean had to hold back a snorting laugh. He knew that Ellen had just ripped her a new asshole and even though he couldn’t stand the woman, he wanted everyone to enjoy the holiday like they normally would without any drama.

“Hello.” Sam and Eileen said simultaneously, Eileen also signing her greeting.

“I don’t mean to be rude, what did you do with your hands?” Naomi asked in the politest tone Dean and Cas had yet to hear come out of her mouth. It was quite a shock for them.

Eileen continued to sign as she spoke, “I was born deaf, so I am fluent in sign language as is the whole family.”

“Oh.” Naomi said, taking the seat next to Cas after he slid in next to Dean. “Even Castiel knows it?”

Eileen nodded, “Yes, he’s just as good as Sam is and I’ve been with Sam for many years. Cas picked it up quickly.” Eileen smiled.

Naomi gave a strained smile, seemingly unsure of what to say to that.

A few minutes later Dean had excused himself to go check on Bobby who had insisted on grilling the burgers this time since Dean had cooked the last few times they had family get togethers. They came back out holding trays of burger patties while Ellen brought over a tray full of beers and another juice box for Emma. Once Cain and Kevin had joined them, they were all sitting back down and had their plates full, Cas introduces Naomi to Bobby and Jo, both of whom don’t have much to say other than a nod in her direction. The tension and awkwardness coming off Naomi was palpable as the table continued to ignore her and talk as they normally would.

The rest of the celebration was just as fun as they knew it would be even with Naomi there. After Dinner Dean and Jo broke out the karaoke machine and Emma came up to sing her favorite song from Tangled with Dean. Cas took a video on his phone of the whole performance as it was one of the most adorable things he had ever seen. Jo convinced Kevin to perform a fantastic version of Aerosmith’s Walk This Way, even some of the other bar patrons got in on the karaoke before Cas got up to serenade Dean with a sweet rendition of Elton John’s Your Song to which Dean blushingly adored it. Cas had caught Naomi watching them as he sang to Dean, and he thought he saw a sort of sadness appear on her face for a moment before he returned his attention to Dean, though he was sure he was just seeing things. He was sure his mother was incapable of sadness.

The final performance of the night was of Dean belting out Warrants Cherry Pie on top of one of the tables. Cas singing along but changing some of the lyrics and singing, “I’M HIS CHERRY PIE!” along with Dean during every chorus of the song as Dean sang directly to him.  Dean’s performance ended with him hopping off the table to the whole bar applauding him as he grinned widely and pulled Cas in for a passionate yet appropriate kiss.

They decided to head out not long after Dean’s performance; it was getting late, and Emma was dozing on Dean’s shoulder though it was only 9:30pm. That was late for them these days. They piled into the Tundra and headed back to the ranch; Naomi was oddly quiet in the backseat. Dean thought it might’ve been because Emma had fallen asleep not two minutes into the drive home, but he decided she wasn’t that nice of a person.

What he had noticed was her watching him and Cas all night, turning away quickly every time he caught her staring. Tonight was the first time he and Cas had decided that they were going to pretend she wasn’t there and just let themselves be in love and show it if they wanted too. Dean didn’t know if Cas caught what he had, he wanted to ask him later in the privacy of their own room, but he saw what almost seemed like jealousy every time he caught her looking. He definitely saw sadness, but he didn’t think it was for her now ex-husband Chuck, maybe it was something deeper.

When they got to the ranch Dean went out to check on the animals while Cas took Emma up to her room to get her into bed. Naomi followed far behind Cas. Dean watched them as they walked towards the house and Cas opened the door. Naomi kept her distance as Cas let The Colonel out to go with Dean for protection and then she followed him inside. Dean shook his head, he was getting tired of her bullshit, but he would wait it out because it’s what Cas wanted. The Colonel ran up to him excitedly and followed Dean as he checked on all the animals. Twenty minutes later they were inside, and Dean was locking the front door. Hean went into the kitchen to grab two bottles of water from the fridge as he heard The Colonel bound up the stairs and into Emma’s room where he would sleep on the end of her bed like he had done since the day he arrived.

Dean flipped off the kitchen light and started up the stairs. He walked into their bedroom to find Cas already in bed and reading a book with Miracle laying in between Cas’s legs with his had resting in his lap. Goose laid across the bed with his head on top of Miracles, Cas gently scratching behind Goose’s ear.

Dean shook his head and chuckled. “So am I supposed to sleep in one of the three large dog beds since my spot is clearly taken.”

Cas closed his book and snorted, “Your spot will never be taken. I did buy memory foam dog beds though so you will be quite comfortable.”

Dean threw his head back in a full body laugh as he rummaged through his drawers for his hot dog sleep pants. “I’ll remember that for my next mid-day nap.”

Cas laughed and moved Goose to the foot of the bed and pulled back the covers for Dean. He climbed in and got comfortable before asking, “Did you have a good time.”

Cas smiled and put his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I always have a good time with you love.”

They stayed in companionable, comfortable silence as Cas’s hand gently traced the line of Dean’s face. “I can see the wheels turning in your head Dean. What are you thinking about?”

Dean groaned, Cas knew him better than he knew himself. “Did you notice your mom acting weird?”

Cas sighed, “Yes. She watched us a lot. I was confused by the look on her face. She’s getting worse at hiding her sadness and whatever else she is feeling.”

“Maybe she will tell us one day.” Dean tried.

“Doubtful. Naomi doesn’t do feelings.”

“I hate this.” Dean pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Well, I’m spending the next two days finally going over all of her finances so hopefully she will be gone soon.” Cas said.

“Let’s hope.” Dean agreed, then pulled Cas in for a soft kiss. “Night Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.” Cas turned over and flipped the light on the nightstand off as Dean made himself the big spoon, pulling Cas flush against him. They fell asleep quickly, both exhausted from the busy day.

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Two days later found Cas with a pounding headache at the end of looking at Naomi’s finances. He had called both of his brothers, the law firm’s accountant, and then his brothers again, and he found no way to pull her out of the debts she owed that would be painless. The man who she had spent the last 6 months with (who gave her a fake name) took out several loans and got multiple credit cards all in her name without her knowing, causing her to be several hundred thousand dollars in debt.

All the money she won in the divorce was gone, her bank account had been emptied and closed, and her credit was in the red. She had absolutely nothing. He had been on the phone with the different credit card and loan companies since 8am this morning and it was now 5pm. He was exhausted. The only thing they could do was for her to talk to the police and give a description of the guy, claim identity theft, and declare bankruptcy. She would have to start over entirely, with absolutely nothing.

Emma had been outside with Dean helping him fix a hole in the chicken coop and helping with some barn chores for the last couple hours while Cas was in the office. He shut his laptop and stood up to grab the papers off the printer. He needed some Advil and a coffee. He just couldn’t figure out how she made so many horrible decisions when she used to work for his father’s law firm. He opened the office door and walked into the kitchen. His mother was sitting at the kitchen island with a notebook and pencil in hand. He noticed that she was wearing another pantsuit like she did every day. He wondered why she always wore that, perhaps she liked it, but he thought it couldn’t be comfortable; especially since they preferred to keep all the windows open and the A/C turned off most days, the wind coming off the mountains keeping the house comfortable.

“Hello mother.” Cas greeted her as he pulled a coffee cup from the cabinet and started making a pot of coffee.

She closed her notebook rather quickly and said, “Hello Castiel. Do you have any good news?”

Cas shook his head, “No mother, I’m afraid not.”

She frowned and nodded. She seemed oddly quiet about the whole thing. He assumed she would be angry and demanding, but she was anything but that.

Cas leaned his elbows on the counter and continued, “I’ve called everyone that could help and then I’ve been on the phone with the credit card companies and loan offices all day.” He sighed and ran a hand down his face. “One of the firm’s lawyers is going to call you. You are going to claim identity theft and give them a description of the man and the fake name he gave you. Hopefully they can find him, and he will be taken to trial. You didn’t personally sign any documents, correct? He forged your signature?”

Naomi wouldn’t meet Cas’s eyes, she stared at the table and fiddled with the necklace around her neck. Cas noticed the necklace immediately; he had never seen her wear anything like it before. It was simple, not the same ridiculously expensive jewelry she usually wore.

“I don’t know how he got my signature. I – I’m sorry Castiel. It was stupid of me to trust that man. I will be anxiously awaiting the call from the firm.” She said it all too professionally, like it wasn’t her son she was talking to but someone she hired.

Cas took her tone in stride, too focused on the fact that she had just apologized to him; something she had never done to him, and he was sure she never said it to anyone else. He tried to smile; he could see the shame on her face. “It’s going to be ok.”

She looked up in surprise at him and he smiled at her. She tried to return the smile; the expression looked off, but it was a start.

“That’s a beautiful necklace. I’ve never seen it before.” Cas complimented, trying to change the subject for the moment.

“It is, isn’t it. A dear friend gave it to me.” Naomi said as she looked at it fondly, seeming far away in her thoughts.

“Is it a locket?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Can I see it?” Cas asked.

“No!” Naomi shouted and jerked back in her chair and out of her daydreaming.

Cas startled a bit but thought she might have a good reason to be protective of it and he wasn’t about to pry when they were seemingly getting along. “That’s ok.” He said gently.

Naomi let out a breath, “It’s very old and theirs nothing in it.”

Cas knew she was lying but he wasn’t going to call her out on it. So, he changed the subject again.
“Did you only bring pantsuits? It can’t be comfortable.”

“It’s all I’ve ever worn. Along with dresses and silk pajamas.” Naomi admitted.

“Why don’t we go shopping tomorrow and get you some clothes that are more comfortable. You don’t really need pantsuits anymore.” Cas said with a chuckle.

He thought he saw a hint of a smile cross his mothers’ lips as she nodded and said, “That sounds fine. Although I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“I’m sure we will figure it out. Emma loves clothes shopping and has pretty good taste for a five-year-old.” Cas said proudly.

Naomi laughed lightly. A genuine laugh, not a fake mocking laugh. “That sounds nice.”

Cas nodded and turned back to the coffee pot to fix his coffee before heading outside to see what Dean and Emma were up to and to tell Dean the breakthrough he just had with his mother.

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July 7^th, 2011.

The next morning Cas, Emma, and Naomi were all heading to Bozeman to shop for some more casual, ranch appropriate clothing for Naomi. They arrived right when the mall opened, and the first thing Emma dragged them to do was grab some pizza from the food court. To say the shopping trip was stressful for Cas was an understatement. For the first two hours Naomi refused to try on or even consider anything Cas showed her. At the 4^th department store he was at his wits end with it.

“I have tried for the last two hours to find you something that you thought would be appropriate yet comfortable for the ranch and all you have done is shoot me down with everything I have shown you and refused to try anything on. So, either you let me help you and you settle for something that isn’t a pants suit, or we go home, and you can continue to be uncomfortable.” Cas said, exasperated.

“It is very odd to hear you refer to the ranch as “home”. Naomi mumbled.

Cas scoffed, “That is what you took away from what I just said?” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Emma was happily ignoring them, eating her ice cream cone, and admiring a sequin dress on the rack next to them.

“That’s not the only thing I took from what you said.” Naomi trailed off, “You never referred to our home as your home, even as a small child you always called it The House.”

“Or the prison.” Cas mumbled with a sarcastic chuckle.

Naomi sighed, “Yes, I knew about that one too. It was just odd to hear you say it for the first time.”

“The ranch is my home, my only home. I was merely a guest in your house growing up. This is the first time I’ve felt at home and like I belonged somewhere. Where I’m wanted and the people around me love me.” Cas confessed, emotion clear in his tone.

Naomi looked at the ground, shook her head and breathed deeply.

“Dean does love me, mother.” Cas said matter-of-factly, feeling like he knew exactly what she was thinking. But he wasn’t prepared for her response.

Naomi looked up with tear-filled eyes, “I have no doubt about that.” She whispered.

Cas took a step back in shock, mouth agape.

Naomi wiped her eyes and scoffed with embarrassment. “Shall we continue shopping? I will try on whatever you think is ranch appropriate. You’re the expert.” She tried to smile.

All Cas could do was nod and say, “Of course, mother.” Still dumbfounded by her response.

“Good…” She turned to Emma, “Emma, why don’t you help your Poppa pick out something for me to try on?”

“Yay!” Emma squealed as she took Castiel’s hand and dragged him down the aisle.

Cas could only follow, too lightheaded in that moment to do anything else. His mind was racing with thoughts of what Naomi had said. She had been refusing to call him Poppa when talking to Emma, and to see tears in her eyes after what he had said; he didn’t know what to think. Maybe they were finally making progress together. He hoped so.

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After their little confrontation, the shopping trip went much smoother. Cas was able to find her several blouses that his mother seemed to be ok with, she may even like them. He convinced her to try on several tasteful pairs of jeans since she refused to try on shorts. (She tried to make it seem like she hated them, but Cas caught her smiling as she admired herself in them.) He got her to trade in her heels for a few pairs of flats and a pair of knee-high boots. He convinced her she needed the boots for the ranch since there were snakes often seen during the summer. That reminded him that he really needed to convince Dean to get a barn cat to take care of the snakes and other pests.

Emma fell asleep on the car ride home, which was no surprise to Cas after a busy day of shopping. When they got home Cas was surprised to see Naomi carrying in her bags by herself. Cas chuckled as he watched her struggle up the stairs of the house. At that moment Dean came out the front door, surprised to see Naomi with her arms full of bags, he held the door open. Cas heard Naomi thank him and his eyes widened. Today was full of surprises.

Dean bounded down the steps towards Cas with all three dogs at his heels. “Looks like the shopping trip was a success.” He smiled as he reached Cas.

Cas turned from where he was unbuckling Emma to give Dean a quick kiss. “Yes, after a slight confrontation it went very smoothly.”

“Confrontation? You’ll have to tell me all about It after we get this sleepy girl inside.”

“Oh, I was planning on it. Here.” Cas handed Dean the new Barbie he had gotten Emma since she was so good the entire trip. He got Emma unbuckled and carried her inside before setting her down on the couch and covering her with a blanket. The Colonel jumped up on the couch and rested his head on Emma’s feet like he always did when she slept. Dean and Cas went out on the front porch, knowing Emma would come find them when she woke up, and Cas told Dean about the entire shopping trip.

“Damn, she really teared up and called you Poppa all within a few seconds?” Dean needed to clarify.

“Yeah, she did. Shocked the fuck out of me.”

“I’m sure it did. Why do you think she teared up after you said that I really do love you?” Dean asked.

“No idea. Maybe she regrets how she treated my dad, maybe she wishes she wasn’t alone, maybe she’s just coming around to everything. It could be anything.” Cas said.

Dean nodded along in agreement.

“Wait!” Cas exclaimed.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Yesterday when I was talking to her, I noticed her wearing a locket necklace I had never seen before. When I asked if I could see it, she jerked away from me and told me no before she tried to cover up the overreaction by saying it was old and that there was nothing in it.”

“You think there’s something in it?”

“Probably. Something she wants to keep me from knowing. Honestly no one may know about it.”  Cas trailed off, thinking. “Her parents were very old fashioned. Arranged marriages were common in her family and the circle of high class, rich friends they kept. They referred to themselves as purebloods much like they do in Harry Potter. They would only allow their children to marry someone they picked and approved of. They wanted to keep the money close. It was like a cult.”

“Jesus, that’s really fucked up.” Dean said. “I’m guessing you would’ve been an outcast in that bunch.”

“Yes. But I met my grandparents once when I was only a few years old. I only know all of this from Grabriel and Micheal who knew my grandparents better.” Cas stated.

“Was your dad part of it? Chuck doesn’t seem like that type of person and clearly Micheal’s marriage wasn’t arranged.”

“I never put much thought into it but you’re right. To my knowledge my dad wasn’t a part of that cult. I remember his parents being kind when I was a child. We weren’t raised like my mother was in that aspect. Sure, she expected certain things and to marry traditionally. But now that I think of it, we weren’t sent to boarding schools, and we didn’t have arranged marriages. That’s all I really know about her family. they weren’t talked about a lot when I was growing up and I never wanted to be apart of those conversations if they were.” Cas concluded.

“Maybe she will open up more the longer she is here. If you really want to know you could always call Chuck.” Dean suggested.

“I was thinking of that but I kind of want to hear it from her. If this doesn’t work out though I will definitely be talking to my dad.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” Dean agreed.

 They sat in comfortable silence for the next few minutes, Cas with his head on Dean’s shoulder as they swung gently on the porch swing, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Daddy!” They heard Emma call from the house. They both got up and headed inside, ready to play with Emma and start dinner.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 8

Under Pressure

August 2nd

“Dean!” Cain called back from atop his new horse, a black and white Paint gelding named Patches (he let Emma name him much to her delight.)

Dean came barreling over on Zeppelin, the horse snorting as he came to a stop next to Cain and Patches. Patches balked slightly at the sight and smell before them, Zeppelin stood his ground, as solid as ever.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean cursed.

***

They were at the very back of the ranch property, only about ten feet from the fence line that divided the ranch and the nine thousand acers around it that were still for sale. In front of them lay one of Dean’s cows, an older cow that he was only able to identify by the tag on her ear, tag number 87 or as Dean called her, Daisy.

“Fuck. First Coyotes and now a fucking Mountain Lion.” Dean said, jaw clenched in frustration. He pulled his phone out to call Sam to get him to bring the tractor out to move the cow and then bury her. Cain got off his horse to see if he could find any cougar tracks since it had been raining a lot over the last week, right as Kevin came running at a full gallop towards them.

“Dean! Cain!” Kevin yelled, slowing his horse down as he came closer to them.

“Damn it.” Dean cursed; Sam wasn’t answering his phone. He would have to text Eileen and hope her phone was near her. He sent off a quick text in the group chat he had with Cas, Eileen, and Sam, knowing that if Sam and Eileen didn’t see it, Cas would, and he would make sure Sam got the message.

“What’s wrong Kev?” Dean asked.

“I found an injured heifer and her calf when I was checking the herd. You can come check them, but I think we should bring them in to clean them up. especially the calf, her wounds are pretty deep.” Kevin explained.

“Shit. Yes, we definitely need to bring them in. I want to move the herd back to the pasture by the house. The herd is going to have to share it with the horses until we know this cougar has moved on.” Dean said the asked, “Cain, any tracks?”

Cain stood up from where he had been squatting near the fence, “Yeah, these are fresh tracks, just a couple hours old.  They seem to head north towards the mountain. This is a wooded part of the pasture, perfect for the cows to not even know it was here considering it was probably in a tree.”

Frustration and nerves filled Dean, they had luckily never had to deal with cougars and now with both a cougar and coyotes on his property, he was worried about his cows and horses but also concerned for his family. Dean’s phone dinged, “Sam said he’ll head this way with the tractor. Cain can you stay here to help Sam bury her while me and Kevin start moving the herd towards the house?”

“You got it boss.” Cain said, pulling out his shotgun from his saddle holster to make sure it was loaded in case the cougar came back and he needed to protect himself. Since Cain had joined the crew, Dean had learned that he used to be an avid hunter and he and his late wife lived mostly off the land that they worked and lived on. After she passed, he quit hunting and took up tracking animals and observing them as a hobby. He rarely tracked predators, sticking to mostly Deer, Elk, Bison, and similar animals and then photographing them. It was something he took pride in considering his late wife always told him he was good with a camera, but he never believed her.

A few hours later Dean, Kevin, and the herding dog Goose, had brought in the herd without any hiccups. Dean was grateful for that considering he had to carry the small calf while riding Zeppelin because it couldn’t keep up with the herd due to her injuries. Dean saddled up Sam’s horse so they could separate the mother and calf that needed medical attention more easily with the four of them. Once they had the pair in one of the holding pens, Dean assessed the injuries.

“How bad is it?” Kevin asked Dean as he helped Cain hold the little calf still.

“Her momma did a good job protecting her. She needs a few stitches, but I can do those. I think she’s sore on her right hind leg which is where the wound that needs stitching is. She should be fine though. Her momma, Maybell on the other hand, needs to see Crowley. Those gashes in her shoulder are deep and I want to make sure she makes a full recovery without issues. I’ve cleaned it out and Sam is putting pressure on it to help stop the bleeding while Cain administers a low dose sedative that we keep on hand for situations like this. It’s just enough to keep her calm so we can do what we need to do.” Dean explained.

Just then Cas came out of the main barn carrying Dean’s animal emergency kit. He walked over and sat it next to him.

“Crowley said he was nearby so he will be here in 20 minutes fortunately.” Cas told Dean.

“Perfect. Thanks babe.” Dean smiled at Cas. “Is Emma awake?”

“She is but Eileen came over with Sam, so she is playing with her and Robbie.”

“Great, grab that leg and wrap your other arm around her stomach.” Dean instructed as he wiped clean the area he was going to suture. Cas did what Dean said and helped Kevin hold the protesting Calf.

***

A few minutes later Dean was done. They let the calf go and she ran to her mother. Kevin followed close behind Dean as he went to look over the wounds that Cain was able to clean out on Maybell. Cas watched as Dean taught Kevin everything he knew. Being a mentor looked good on Dean and Cas knew he enjoyed being able to pass on the knowledge he possessed. Cas couldn’t wait for Emma to be older and for Dean to be able to teach her everything. Emma already followed him around and was very inquisitive, but she couldn’t learn stuff like this yet. She loved to play with her doctor’s kit they got her, and she was always performing “operations” on one of the dogs or himself and Dean. They both thought she might grow up to be a vet one day.

Crowley had come and gone fairly quickly, praising Dean for the sutures he put in the calf and taking the time to properly clean the wounds on the heifer prior to him getting there. Cas had almost forgotten that Dean had spent a year working as Crowley’s assistant the year before they bought the Ranch so that he would have more than just basic wound care knowledge. It certainly has paid off.

Over dinner that night with the whole crew, Dean had told several stories about his experience working with Crowley, many about the pool games Crowley continually lost to Dean.

“To this day he refuses to play pool with me because in over 300 games, I never lost one.” Dean threw his head back in laughter. They were all sitting around the dining table in the main house, drinking and playing cards after their weekly taco bar night.

“That’s a lot of games man.” Kevin said with a chuckle.

“We went almost every night and usually played more than one game because Crowley’s a sore loser.” Dean snorted as he downed the last of his beer.

Dean looked over his shoulder to find Emma still in Robbie’s playpen coloring while he chewed on one of his teething toys and watching what she was doing. Eileen was of course nearby. But what caught his attention was seeing Naomi smile when Robbie squealed and giggled at Emma. That was the first time he had seen what he thought was a genuine smile.

Naomi was sitting with a cup of tea and her laptop at the kitchen island, pretending like she didn’t want to be a part of the conversations in the dining room. Dean could tell she wanted to join them, but she wouldn’t let herself, still hellbent on keeping up the appearance of distaste.

Dean had his arm around Castiel’s chair next to him, he leaned in close and asked, “Ready for bed?”

Cas looked at his watch, it was a few minutes past when Emma went to bed, and they were usually right behind her. “Yes, lets get Emma to bed and then ourselves too.” He finished with a wink.

Cas had to hold back a snorting laugh when Dean’s face lit up with the goofiest smile. Dean always got extra excited when it was Castiel’s idea to fool around.

“I hate to break up the party but we-“ Dean started with a mischievous smile. Cas interrupted him with, “We have to get Emma to bed that’s what we have to do.”

Everyone laughed and Kevin, Sam, and Cain joked about how that’s not really the reason they were ending the night’s card games. Eileen joked, “Don’t break anything.” with a wink as they left.

Dean rolled his eyes and mumbled “Yeah, yeah.” good naturedly.

Once everyone had left, they got Emma ready for bed, they read her a story and she fell asleep a few minutes later cuddling her squirrel. Cas walked across the hall and into their room to start the shower while Dean cracked Emma’s door after making sure The Colonel was comfortable on the end of her bed.

Before Dean had turned around from shutting his bedroom door he was yanked around by the arm and shoved against the wall. Cas silenced Dean yelp of surprise with a scorching kiss. It had been two weeks since the last time they had time to fuck, and the sexual tension between them was high.

“Damn Cas.” Dean mumbled when they broke apart.

Cas reached down and grabbed Dean’s hardening cock through his jeans. Dean whimpered quietly and bit his lip. He reached out and grabbed Cas’s bare ass, squeezing as he pulled Cas into him. He leaned down and sucked a dark mark on Cas’s collarbone.

“Mmmmm. Fuck Dean.” Cas groaned.

“Come on, let’s go take that shower.” Dean breathed heavily, arousal pulsing through his veins.

Cas nods and grabs Dean’s hand, tugging him towards the bathroom in a hurry. Dean chuckles when Cas pushes him against the cold bathroom counter while he frantically tries to get his belt and jeans undone. Dean pulls his flannel and black t-shirt off and throws them on the ground just as Cas yanks his jeans and boxers down to around his ankles, his aching cock slapping against his stomach. Cas sinks to the ground and wraps his hand around Dean’s cock, taking the head in his mouth and running his tongue around it. Dean sucks in a sharp breath and lets out a moan. Cas sucks his cock, hollowing out his cheeks and running his tongue up and down it before he pulls off with an audible POP. He stands and helps a shaking Dean step out of his jeans and pulls him towards the steaming shower.

“Fuck Cas.” Dean groans as he steps under the water and pulls Cas into a searing kiss. They made out for a moment, grinding their aching cocks against one another, desperate to get any type of friction. Cas had him pushed up against the shower wall when Dean decided to take over. He loved it when Cas showed his dominant side, but he was desperate to be inside Cas; the teasing was becoming too much.

“My turn.” Dean growled as he spun himself and Cas around, pinning Castiel against the shower wall, ass on display. A moan escapes Cas’s lips as Dean kicks his legs open and runs his hand down his ass and pushes one finger inside his tight hole. Dean takes his time, working his finger in and out while he sucked and licked up Castiel’s neck. After a few minutes he adds another and bites down onto Castiel’s shoulder, ripping a throaty moan from him. Cas is shaking as Dean works him open.

“Mmmm, Dean please.” Cas whined.

“Please what?” Dean asked as he pushed a third finger into his tight hole.

Ecstasy rolled through Cas’s body, “Please… F – fuck me.”

That’s all Dean needed to hear. He removed his finger and grabbed the bottle of lube on the side of the shower. He quickly lubed up his dick, then with a growl, he replaced his fingers with the blunt head of his throbbing cock and thrust deep inside. “Fuck yes.” his eyes rolled back at the feeling of Cas tight around him.

Cas let out a cry of pleasure as he pushed back onto Dean’s cock. Dean placed both hands on his waist and pulled Castiel’s hips back to meet his every thrust. They were both so close, the lack of sexual intimacy in the last few weeks pushing them quickly close to the edge. Dean ran a hand up Castiel’s side and wrapped his hand around his throat, gently pulling him up and into his chest. He reached down with his other hand and gripped Cas’s cock, jerking him in a pace that matched his thrusts.

Cas was a writhing, moaning mess in his arms, unable to do anything other than lean into Dean. Dean felt Cas clenching around his cock, and he knew he was about to come. Dean placed his lips in the crooks of Cas’s neck and sucked, sending lightning through him as he felt his orgasm rip through his body, his release painting the shower wall and Dean’s hand.

Dean followed close behind, falling over the edge as Cas tightened around him, shooting his release deep inside him. They rode out their orgasms together, Cas limp in Dean’s arms.

“Holy shit.” Cas panted as Dean pulled out, watching his cum leak out of Castiel’s stretched hole. Dean decided on a whim to do something he had never done before. He reached down and scooped some of his cum off Cas’s hole. Cas turned to face him in confusion, before he could ask what he was doing, Dean lifted his hand and sucked the thick cum from his fingers. Cas sucked in a breath, his cock giving a little kick. Dean stuck his tongue out slightly to show it sitting there and then slowly pulled Cas closer. Cas got the message all too quickly and pulled Dean to him in a searing kiss. He sucked the cum from Dean’s tongue and then passed some back to him. The kiss lasted only seconds but they both were moaning and grinding against one another. When they finally broke the kiss Cas spoke first. “Cum sharing, I’ve never done that.”

“Me either. Though I take it you enjoyed it.”

“I did. You definitely enjoyed it.” Cas said with a wink.

“Only if it’s leaking from your ass sweetheart.” Dean grinned and pulled him in for another long kiss.

They took their time washing each other, something Dean particularly enjoyed doing after sex. He loved to make sure Cas knew he was loved and taken care of. Dean was a giver and a caretaker like that.

Once clean and dressed for the night they climbed into their bed. Dean turned his nightstand lamp off and turned over, kissing Cas lightly before they snuggled into one another for the night. They fell asleep quickly.

Around 1am Dean woke up, his mouth dry as hell. He groaned and rolled over, reaching for his nightstand and the bottle of water he was sure he had put there. Nothing but the lamp and his phone were there. He groaned again as he realized he had forgotten to get one before they went upstairs. Reluctantly, he threw the blanket back and stood up. He grabbed the black AC/DC shirt that was sitting on the end of the bed and pulled it on. He slowly opened the door and stepped through, checking in on Emma before he headed downstairs. Halfway down the stairs he paused as he heard a sniffle. He waited a moment and heard another along with a quiet sob. The only other person in the house was Naomi so it had to have been her. What would she be doing up at this hour and why was she crying?

At that moment curiosity overtook Dean, and he decided to continue walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. Naomi had been looking down at something she held in her hand when she noticed him. She quickly closed the small item and stowed it inside the small box next to her, wiping her eyes with the napkin in her hand.  

“Oh, Dean. I didn’t expect to see you down here this late.” She said in an oddly nice tone.

It threw Dean off slightly, but he kept his face soft and neutral, not wanting to upset her further. He was now fully awake and very curious if he could get her to talk to him. He still didn’t care for the woman, but he would try, for Castiel’s sake.

“I just came down for some water and a piece of pie to help me sleep. What are you doing up this late?” Dean asked cautiously as he filled a glass with ice and water from the fridge then pulled the apple pie from the top shelf and came to stand across the island from her.

“It’s nothing Dean.” She tried to blow him off as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

“I call bullshit on that.” Dean sighs and turns to grab two plates out of the cabinet, then two forks and a knife from the drawer. “Come on Naomi. You can talk to me ya know.” He says as he cuts the two slices of pie and puts them in the microwave to warm up.

Naomi sniffled as she tried to gather herself. “You don’t want to know my problems. Besides, you hate me remember.”

“Hate is a strong word. And for the record,” Dean pulled the steaming hot pieces of pie from the microwave and slid one of the plates over, then setting a fork next to it, “I don’t hate you. I hate the way you treated Cas his whole life and the way you’ve treated basically everyone else. And I do want to know.”

“No, you don’t.” She whispered, shaking her head as her bottom lip trembled and she tried to blink away the tears. She took a deep breath as a sob wracked her body.

Dean was unsure how he should proceed. He wasn’t great with tears in general but seeing Naomi so clearly emotionally wrecked was a whole new ball game. He hesitated before he reached across the counter and rested his hand on her shoulder. She looked up from where she was sobbing into her hand, a look of surprise on her face.

Dean smiled sympathetically, “It’s ok. Whatever it is you can tell me if you need to get it off your chest. Sounds like telling someone what’s on your mind might be a good idea.”

He had never been this gentle with her, but she seemed so fragile and broken in this moment. He remembered how just a few months ago, when he had a meltdown and was hurting after reading Emma’s mother’s letter to him, that having Castiel there made it better. Of course, it wasn’t going to be in the same way, but he could at least provide an ear to listen and maybe some advice.

She just nodded, taking some steadying breaths as Dean squeezed her shoulder and dropped his hand. He took a bite of his pie and said, “Pie always helps too. Whenever you’re ready, tell me what’s wrong. I’ve noticed you acting a little odd around us for a while now.”

“You have?” she asked, her voice breaking around the words.

Dean nods and he shovels more pie into his mouth. “I’ve caught you wiping away a tear or running to the bathroom and disappearing for a while.”

“I guess I’m not hiding it as well as I though.” she mumbled.

Dean tilted his head in curiosity, “Hiding what?”

She takes a deep breath and meets his eyes, “B – being around you and Castiel has proven to be difficult for me.”

Dean’s brows knit together in confusion, “Why’s that?”

“I didn’t exactly grow up in a loving household with parents who showed their affection for one another so openly. In fact, I had never even seen them touch more than each other’s hands my whole life. They weren’t at all affectionate towards me either.” Naomi started.

“So, me and Cas showing each other love around you affects you.”

She nods, “It reminds me of someone, of memories that I had buried so deeply I had convinced myself they were only a dream.”

“Memories of chuck?” Dean asked, the only logical person he thought she was thinking of. Maybe she missed him.

“No.” She mumbled. “Of someone before I was practically forced into marrying Chuck.”

“You were forced into marrying Chuck? Like an arranged marriage?” Dean asked.

“Yes, out of high society standards and my family’s rank. My family kept throwing eligible bachelor after eligible bachelor in front of me and I hated them all. As hard as it is to believe I was a rebel in the eyes of my parents. But Chuck was different.” She started.

“Different how?” Dean asked.

“He still came from a family in the inner social circle my family kept, but he was raised differently, less strict and his views didn’t quite line up with my parents, but he came from good blood. He was a good match even with the so called flaws my parents thought he had. At the time I was 19 and saw it as an out. So, having no other option and wanting someone closer to my age, I chose Chuck, and we married within a few months. You see,” She paused, “I spent my life at all girls boarding schools in up state New York. I was the perfect student, trying my best to make my family proud and meet the expectations they had for me. They raised me like I raised Castiel and his brothers. I am beginning to see that perhaps that was a horrible way to raise children.”

Dean’s jaw dropped, “You’re saying that watching me and Cas has made you rethink your whole life; how your family treated you and how you treated your kids.”

“I never thought I would say it because I always believed it to be the only way, and it was something Chuck and I fought constantly about. But, yes. The way you both are with each other is something I have only experienced once, and I have never experienced the love you show to Emma every day. It really has opened my eyes. Especially the way Castiel treats her, as if she is his own blood. I don’t know how else to say it, but it’s shocking to me.”

“I can see how that would be a shock if you’ve never experienced it before. But who do we remind you of if it isn’t Chuck?” Dean was quite confused. He was glad she was opening up to him, he hoped she would be this open with Cas soon so he could start building their relationship and understand her better.

She took the last bite of the pie she had been slowly eating and dabbed at her eyes as the tears started flowing again, “When I went to the all-girls high school, I met someone.” She hesitated.

Well, that was not what Dean thought she was going to say. “You met a girl. You fell for a girl?”

“I did.” She said sorrowfully. “I met her on my first day there and we became instant friends. That first year, that’s all we were. Until I came back for my sophomore year, that’s where we started seeing each other as more than friends.”

Naomi was full on sobbing again, “I loved her Dean. We hid our relationship up until the second half of our senior year when the principal caught us kissing in the empty hallway before class. I was ripped away from her without so much as a chance to say goodbye. I had no idea where she lived, and she didn’t know where I lived. It was the 60’s, we had no way of communicating or getting in touch with one another since we didn’t share that type of information so we wouldn’t get caught.” She looked away as sobs tore through her body once again.

Dean felt so bad for her, something he never thought he would feel towards her.

“When Castiel came out as gay, I couldn’t accept it because it made me jealous that I never got to have that, but he could. I knew when he was a child that he was different and when he came back from that camp his father sent him too…. It only solidified my suspicions, and I hated him for it. It’s selfish and cruel and I now feel terrible about it. I don’t know how to tell him. I fear he will only hate me more than he already does.” she finished out of breath and in a whisper.

“That’s not how I see it.”

Naomi looked up as Dean handed her a new paper towel to dry her eyes. “What do you mean?” She dabbed at her eyes and in this moment, she looked like nothing but a broken person who had no idea how to ask for help or how to help herself, not the nasty woman that she had been her whole life.

“Well, I know Cas better than anyone does. And I can tell you that all he wants is for you to be honest with him. An apology would go a long way too; maybe even having a real conversation with him like we’ve been having.” Dean stated.

“I don’t know that he will ever forgive me.” she fiddled with the paper towel in her hands.

“Give him time. He will come around but only if you put in the work to truly change your relationship. Let me ask you this, me and Cas were the only people who were willing to give you any sort of help. Am I right?”

She nodded, “Yes. Gabriel laughed in my face and Michael wouldn’t even answer his phone.”

“The first thing you need to do is accept that you’ve been a shitty parent and have done some bad shit. Once you stop pretending that you aren’t the problem, you will start to make it right.” Dean said firmly but gently.

“I really want to. I don’t want to be a bad parent anymore. If I could go back, I would. It’s been engrained in me since I was a child that children should barely be seen, and definitely not heard and that anything not heterosexual was wrong and not to be tolerated. I was rebellious for a while when I was with her – but then my parents broke me down and brainwashed me into thinking what I had done was absolutely horrible and to never speak of it or acknowledge that it happened.” Naomi absentmindedly played with the locket around her neck.

Dean had noticed that she had yet to say the girl’s name. He assumed it was too painful to remember. He wondered if the locket had anything to do with the girl. “I think you need to look into getting some therapy to help you sort through all this change. And I know your parents probably shit on that too. But mental health is important and seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I think you’re right. I’m going to really start to work on my behavior towards Castiel. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to him about everything yet.” She admits.

“That’s fine for now. But I do think you need to talk to him sooner rather than later so he can understand and help you. All he wants is to help you and heal your relationship.”

Naomi nods, “I’ll try, I really will.”

“Good. I’ll hold you to it.” Dean smiled.

Naomi smiled genuinely for the first time in years, “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Dean paused for a moment, debating whether he should share this. He decided he would because maybe it would help her see why it was important for her to rebuild her relationship with her son. “Ya know I lost my mom when I was a kid. A drunk driver hit her car and killed her. If I could go back and change that night, tell her not to leave, hell I would beg her not to leave… I would. If I could have my mom back and have the chance to have a relationship with her, I would do anything. But that can’t happen.”

“Oh Dean. I had no idea. I am sorry about your mom.” she said genuinely.

“It was a long time ago, I was ten. But fuck do I miss her every day. You have a chance to make amends with your son and be in his life. I will never get the chance to have my mom back in my life. Don’t waste this. please.” Dean felt his eyes begin to burn. He hadn’t talked about his mother in a long time. The last person he talked about her to was Cas. This wasn’t information he shared lightly. He watched her as she processed what he said.

“I won’t waste it Dean. I promise.” She said strongly.

Dean smiled, “Good. I’m gonna head back to bed if you’re feeling ok now.”

“Yes, I will be heading up to bed as well.” She replied.

“Alright. Goodnight Naomi.” Dean said as he walked around the counter and headed up stairs.

“Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean walked down the hallway and stopped to check on Emma. Her nightlight glowing a soft pink in the darkness of the room. She was snoring lightly while her arm was wrapped around The Colonels torso, his head resting next to hers on her pillow. Dean smiled and cracked the door then headed back into his room. He moved Goose off his pillow and to the foot of the bed before climbing in and spooning Castiel’s back. Dean kissed his neck lightly and Cas pushed into him in his sleep. Dean squeezed his arm a little tighter and closed his eyes, grateful that he was able to have the conversation with Naomi so Cas could have a fighting chance at having his real mother be an actual mother. He knew he would want the same thing if he was given the opportunity.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 9

I Just Want to Dance with You

The next morning came too quickly in the form of Dean’s alarm blaring at 5:30am. Dean groaned and rolled over to slap the button on his phone. Cas snored lightly next to him, and Dean couldn’t help but be a little bit jealous that his fiancé got to sleep later than he did, even though it was only 30 minutes later. Dean rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He turned the shower on and waited for it to warm up before stepping in. He loved morning showers; they woke him up and got him ready for his day. A few minutes later he stepped out of the shower and dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist, and standing in front of the mirror to brush his teeth and trim up his beard that he thought was getting a little out of hand. It was about 2 inches in length, and he trimmed it down to long stubble; just enough to keep most of his face from getting sunburned during the summer.

By the time he was done he could hear Castiel’s alarm going off. He shook his head and chuckled to himself. Ever since they started sleeping together regularly, Cas had a hard time hearing his alarms. Dean got dressed while Castiel slept through his alarm. Once he was sitting on the edge of the bed putting on his socks, he reached behind his and slapped Cas’s ass hard. Cas startled awake and rolled over to glare at Dean.

“Mornin sunshine.” Dean said then leaned down and kissed Cas lightly.

“The morning isn’t good until I’ve had coffee.” Cas muttered as he sat up and wiped a hand down his face then turned his alarm off.

Dean snorted, “Well I never said good, I just said morning.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Come on. Let’s get you some coffee.” Dean pulled the blanket off Cas then they both stood up. Dean went down the stairs to get his boots on while Cas got ready for the day.

--------------------------------------------------------------

After breakfast and morning chores were done, Dean was in the kitchen making lunch while Cas sat at the island typing away for another help wanted ad for the ranch, and Emma was coloring in the living room while watching Tangled yet again. Naomi was sitting on the couch next to Emma watching the movie and trying her damnedest to learn how to interact with a child. Dean had to admit, she wasn’t horrible at it when she put the effort into being nice. He noticed she was mimicking the way he and Cas interacted with Emma. To say Cas was confused by the interaction going on between his mother and Emma would be an understatement.

“Dean.” Cas whispered, checking to make sure Naomi couldn’t hear him.

Dean looked up with an eyebrow raised in curiosity. “What are we whispering about?” He put the spoon he was using to stir the meatballs down and leaned on the counter on his elbows to get closer to Cas.

“What the hell is going on with my mother?” Cas asked, still in a whisper as he leaned in to meet Dean. Their faces were just inches apart.

Dean looked over to see Emma hand Naomi a crayon and a piece of paper and Naomi surprisingly took it and started to draw. “Yeah, about that. I was going to tell you tonight, but I guess now is fine.”

“Tell me what?” Cas asked, voice tense but still quiet.

“When I came to get a drink last night, I ran into your mom crying. We had a conversation, and she admitted to a lot of shit and told me something I didn’t see coming that she had thought she buried. She wants to change, and work on your relationship.” Dean explained in a whisper.

“What was the conversation about?  What did she bury? Why does she suddenly want to start trying to change? I don’t understand.” Cas said hurriedly, confusion etched in his features.

Dean sighed heavily, conflicted on what he should do here. “Cas normally I would tell you the whole conversation, but I really think it should come from her. it’s not my story to tell. But I will tell you that she admitted to being brainwashed and seeing the way we interact with each other, and Emma has opened her eyes to see the way she raised you and the way she was raised by her parents was horrible.” Dean said.

“Oh fuck. I can respect your decision Dean. I hope she’s genuine about it and it isn’t some ploy to get what she wants.”

“I really don’t think it’s a ploy. She was genuinely upset. I never thought I would see her like that.” Dean stated.

“Well, I guess we can just hope it’s genuine. Maybe she will talk to me one day.” Cas looked over at where his daughter and his mother were still coloring and talking. A sight he never thought he would see. “At least she’s putting forth the effort with Emma and that is important to me.”

Dean nods in agreement. “She will talk to you eventually.” He reached his hand out to take Castiel’s, “Just give her some time.”

Cas nodded and they both went back to doing what they were before.

 They hear the front door open, and Kevin enters, stomping the mud off his boots before toeing them off and walking towards the kitchen.

“Hey Kev. Want a meatball sub?” Dean was reheating some of the meatballs and marinara he had made for lunch last week and froze the leftovers.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” Kevin sat down next to Cas, eyes down cast on his phone through the whole interaction. Kevin was such a polite kid that whenever he did something out of the ordinary for him, Dean and Cas loved to tease him.

Cas looked at Dean with mischievous eyes, “Hi Cas how are you?” Dean mimicked Kevin’s voice.

“I’m good Kevin. Thanks for asking. Why don’t you have a seat and join us for lunch?” Cas teased with a smile on his face.

Kevin stopped typing and slowly looked up between Dean and Cas with wide eyes. “I – I didn’t mean-“

Dean and Cas both bust out laughing, “We’re fucking with you like every other time Kev.” Cas said, slapping him on the back.

“I hate you both.” Kevin blew out a relieved breath before joining them in laughter.

“Naahhhh, you love us.” Dean teased. “What are you so focused on though?”

“True. I think I found a horse. I’m talking to the seller. They want me to come try him this afternoon.” Kevin explains.

“That’s great. What breed is he?” Dean asked.

“He’s a Quarter Horse/Thoroughbred cross. He’s 15 years old and has been working as a trail horse at a ranch for the last ten years. He has cattle pushing experience and they did some roping for branding season with him. From what they have told me I think he will be perfect. He’s solid dark bay, no white markings at all.” Kevin turned his phone so both Dean and Cas could see the picture of the horse.

“Sounds promising but don’t get your hopes up until you do a test ride. Want me to tag along?” Dean asked.

“That would be great. I was actually going to ask you.” Kevin said.

“Cool. We can head out after lunch.” Dean placed 2 plates with subs and chips in front of Cas and Kevin.

“Thank Dean.” Kevin said as he took a bite.

“Emma, mother. Lunch is ready!” Cas called out. “Thank you love.”

“No problem, babe.” Dean grinned.

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A few hours later Dean and Kevin were heading home with the big bay horse. Dean test rode him first and gave Kevin his seal of approval. Then Kevin rode him and fell in love. The horse was big, standing tall at 16 hands with a more thoroughbred build. The horse was a little overweight though and Dean made a joke that being as tall as he was and on the fatter side, he reminded him of Hagrid from Harry Potter. Kevin laughed and decided that was the perfect name for him considering his personality was very sweet and his walk and trot were lumbering.

By the time they got home it was 5pm and time to tend to the horses and cattle. Dean pulled the truck and trailer around to the second barn that they used to call the mare barn but now also housed Kevin and Cains horses. Once they had the new horse unloaded, they walked into the barn and were surprised to see Cas and Sam feeding and watering the horses.

“What are you doing out here? Where’s Emma?” Dean walked up to Cas and kissed him chastely.

“Well, my mother offered to watch her so I could come help feed since you and Kev were gone.” Cas said in a tone of surprise. “I was just going to bring her with me but here we are somehow.”

“That’s progress.” Dean remarked.

“Weird is what it is.” Cas grumbled.

“She’s trying Cas. That’s something.”

“Since when are you on her side?” Cas barked.

Dean jumped slightly in surprise at Cas’s tone. “Since I watched her ball her eyes out and admit to being a shitty parent and wishing she could change the way you grew up. I wouldn’t have believed it either but after everything she confessed to me, I am more than willing to give her a shot. Especially after seeing her interact with Emma all morning and afternoon.” Dean snapped.

Anger flared in Castiel’s eyes. “That doesn’t mean shit Dean! You didn’t grow up with her!”

Dean could see the hurt and anguish in Castiel’s eyes behind the anger. It broke his heart, he hated to see Cas go through this again. He just wanted to take away his pain, but he knew he couldn’t this time. Cas and Naomi had to work this one out on their own. All Dean could do was be there for Cas and be there to pick up the pieces if he needed to.

“You’re right. I didn’t grow up with her. I don’t know what it was like.” Dean said, voice dangerously low. “But I believe that everyone deserves at least one chance at changing themselves and this is hers. If she fucks it up, I will not hesitate to throw her out myself.”

Cas shook his head in disbelief, his eyes burning as he tried to blink away unshed tears. “She isn’t capable of real change Dean. I’ve been scarred by her, and I don’t want the same for Emma.”

Dean took a step towards his fiancé and took his hand in his, “Everyone is capable of changing if they truly want to and are given the chance Cas.” Sadness filled Dean’s eyes and voice, “If I could bring back my mother and have a relationship with her, I would. But I can’t. You have that chance. Believe me, if I didn’t think Naomi was capable of change, I wouldn’t even be entertaining the idea of giving her a chance. She knows what would happen if she hurt Emma in any way, we have made that very clear.”  

All the fight faded from Castiel as he remembered that all he ever wanted was to have a relationship with his mother. He knew Dean was right and he trusted him. “Sometimes I hate how fucking right you can be.” Cas grumbled, a tear escaping his eye and sliding down his cheek. “I trust you and I will give her a chance, but I don’t like it. One wrong step and I’m done.”

“That’s reasonable. You have to know I never expected to be defending her.” Dean squeezed his hand lightly, grounding Cas back to the earth.

“I know.” He said quietly.

“Come here.” Dean pulled him into his arms, cupping the back of his head with one hand.

“I’m sorry for getting so upset.” Cas mumbled into Deans shoulder.

“It’s understandable Cas. Don’t sweat it.” Dean kissed the top of his head.

Cas smiled at him. Dean smiled back and leaned down, claiming Cas’s mouth in a sweet kiss. They kissed lightly for a moment before Cas ran his tongue across Dean’s lower lip, asking for entrance. Dean immediately opened to him as he walked him back until Castiel’s back hit one of the stalls. Dean slotted one of his thighs between Cas’s legs and they made out for a few minutes, Cas’s hands lost in Dean’s longer than normal hair and one of Dean’s hands coming to gently wrap around Castiel’s throat. They were interrupted by Sam clearing his throat. Cas went to pull away, but Dean just pulled him closer, smirking against his mouth.

“Uhhh guys, still here.” Sam interrupted again.

Dean held up his middle finger and broke their kiss, hovering a breath away from Castiel’s lips, “Get the fuck out of my barn. We’re about to take a roll in the hay.”

Cas chuckled as Dean claimed his mouth in a heated kiss. There was a collective groan between Sam and Kevin as they exited the barn, leaving Dean and Cas to defile it however they pleased.

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Friday August 12^th, 2011.

Over the next week Naomi surprised them both. She was the opposite of the person she had been when she first came here. Cas was still speculative, and Dean didn’t blame him. He couldn’t believe it sometimes either. It seemed like Naomi was trying to have a relationship with Emma and show she was capable of being a decent human in hopes it would make Cas see her differently.

As much as Cas loved that she was building a relationship with his daughter, it hurt to see her put effort into that relationship but theirs was staying much the same; strained, awkward, and in limbo with too much pain and unsaid thoughts, feelings, and secrets between them. Cas wasn’t pushing her; he saw her taking steps to better herself like booking a weekly appointment with a therapist that were over the phone or virtually from her computer and trying to keep interactions with both him and Dean civil if not even friendly. Cas was struggling. He needed a break.

It was Friday afternoon when Naomi came into the kitchen and asked Dean and Cas something neither of them saw coming.

“Dean, Cas?” Naomi started as she came up to the kitchen island and sat down in one of the seats.

They had been standing next to one another, talking over next week’s grocery list and feed order for the ranch when she came in. They both turned to look at her.

“What’s up Naomi?” Dean set down the papers in his hand.

“I was wondering if I could watch Emma tonight for you boys to go on a date?” She asked.

Dean stared at her blankly while Cas looked confused.

“Y – you want to do what?” Cas stuttered.

“Well, I know you boys haven’t been on a real date or gone out since I arrived. I thought you two might like a night out. I would like to spend some extra time with Emma as well. I told her we could make some cupcakes tonight if you decided to go.” She smiled and it was a real, genuine smile filled with hope. Nothing like the fake front she put on for so long.  

Dean smiled gently and opened his mouth to answer her, but Cas cut him off. “Mother, you hate that I am gay. You won’t even acknowledge that me and Dean are engaged and are going to spend the rest of our lives together, raising a family and building this ranch. How can you sit there like everything has changed and offer for us to go on a date? That goes against everything you stand for.”

Naomi looked down and took a deep breath, “I’m trying Castiel. I am trying to change and to make things right.”

Cas bit his bottom lip and shook his head, trying to control his anger and pain. “You’re trying but not with me. You’re trying with Emma and believe me I’m glad you are. But talk to me please.” Cas felt his throat tighten, a lump making it hard to swallow. “Try to heal the relationship with your son. The only one of your sons who let you into their house. The only son who offered you help.”

“I’m trying Castiel and I’m grateful you and Dean allowed me into your home. I have a lot of healing to do, and I will talk to you, but I need to figure out my own mind first.” She tried; her eyes bloodshot when she finally looked at him. “You wouldn’t believe me if I were to tell you why I’m seeing things differently.”

“Yeah, you’re right I probably wouldn’t. Because you aren’t changing. You’re just making excuses to not talk to me because I’ve always been a burden to you even when I’m the one who took you in. Let me know when you really are ready to change.” Cas turned and stormed out of the kitchen and into the office.

Dean saw Naomi’s tears spill onto her cheeks. “I’m sorry. He’ll come around. But you need to talk to him. It hurts him that you opened up to me and not him.”

“I know.” She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked up at Dean, “My offer for tonight still stands. You two deserve to go out and I promise I will take good care of Emma while you are gone.”

“Oh, we are taking you up on that whether Cas likes the idea or not. I know just where to take him to help him relax too.”

“Good. Emma seemed excited to make cupcakes with me.” She smiled again.

“She loves cupcakes. I’ll leave Sam and Eileen’s numbers on the notepad on the fridge. They will be home tonight if you need anything.”

“Thank you for trusting me with this Dean.” she said in a small voice.

Dean smiled and patted her shoulder as he walked by, “Your welcome.”

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That night they kissed and hugged Emma goodnight and headed out for their date. Dean had called Sam after Naomi offered to watch Emma and told him what was going on and that he told Naomi to call him if she needed anything. Dean knew exactly where they were going but told Cas he wanted to surprise him.

“You ok Cas?” Dean asked as they drove the Impala down the dark and winding Montana roads.

“Yeah. I just…” Cas trails off with a frustrated sigh.

“Just what?” Dean pushed.

“I’m glad she’s putting in the effort to be a grandmother to Emma and spend time with her and be nice to her. I’m just hurt that she talked to you and not me. That’s not your fault though.”

“I know that’s hurtful. But I’m sure it’s easier to talk to someone you just met about it then to talk to the son that lived through your bullshit while you try to figure out who you really are and how to be a better person.” Dean glanced over at Cas.

“You’re right. It still hurts though. I don’t know that she will ever tell me the real reason behind her wanting to change.” Cas admitted.

“Well, if she doesn’t, then I will. Like I said, I think it needs to come from her. But you will know eventually whether it comes from her like it should, or from me.” Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and brought it to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “Now let’s stop talking about your mom and focus on our date.” He winked at him.

Cas smiled and agreed.

“You’re sure I can’t talk you into telling me where we are going?” Cas inquired.

“Nope. But we are almost there, and you will know.”

“Fine.” Cas grumbled good-naturedly.

A few minutes later Dean was pulling into the club Donna owned. “Oh Dean. This is perfect.” Cas leaned across the seat and kissed him sweetly.

“Thought you might enjoy going dancing.” Dean parked the car and shut off the engine.

“Sit tight sweetheart.” Dean told Cas as he got out and ran around to the passenger side to open the door for him.

“Thank you.” Cas smiled as he took Dean’s hand, and they headed inside the building. They got their reentry wristbands at the door and walked to the back of the building where the bar was, glancing at the people who were line dancing to a country song on the dance floor.

The bartender greeted them, and Dean ordered them some drinks and tacos. “Is Donna here tonight?" Dean asked the bartender.

“Yeah, she is. You know her?” He asked.

“We are old friends. Can you tell her Dean and Cas are here, so she better get her ass out here and say hello.” Dean smiled.

The man laughed and opened a door behind the bar and calling out to her. Half a minute later Donna comes running out the door and around the counter.

“Dean Cas! Been too long!” She threw her arms around Dean and then Cas. “It’s so good to see you boys.”

“Good to see you, Donna.” Cas kissed her cheek.

“How have you been?” Dean asked as she sat down next to them to talk while they ate.

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“Well, it sounds like you both deserve a night out after all that.” Donna threw another fry into her mouth as she listened to Dean and Cas tell her everything that happened since they last saw her. they hadn’t been to the club since before Christmas.

“No shit.” Dean agreed.

“I won’t keep you any longer. Your drinks and food are on the house.” She stood up and grabbed the empty plates in front of them.

“Donna, we can’t let you do that.” Cas tried to protest. Dean would’ve, but he knew better.

“Cas shut up and enjoy your date. This is my present to you both.” She smiled and started to walk away only to stop on the other side of the bar, “But don’t have too much fun.” She winked.

“I don’t know that I will ever get used to our friends and family doing things for us without expecting anything in return.” Cas mused.

“You will. Takes a long time to unlearn things you’ve spent your whole life doing though.” Dean commented.

“True. Let’s go dance.” Cas stood up and grabbed Dean’s hand, dragging him to the dance floor as Boot Scootin’ Boogie started to play.

They danced for an hour as the DJ played country dance song after country dance song. Finally, a slow dance song came on and Dean pulled Cas close as couples from all walks of life came onto the dance floor. The club was busy tonight but not too busy. They weren’t crowded onto the dance floor, there was plenty of space but there were dozens of couples around them.

“I haven’t heard this song in years.” Cas said as Bryan Adams Heaven, started playing through the huge speakers.

“Yeah, me too.” Dean smiled. He pulled Cas close to him, wrapping one arm around his waist and holding his hand with the other. Legs slotted together; they swayed as Dean sang the song to Cas. Cas loved listening to Dean sing, it was one of his favorite things. Dean spun him gently then brought him back to him several times, this last time he rested his forehead against Cas’s, breathing him in.

Cas closed his eyes and breathed deeply as Dean led him slowly around the dance floor. He took a step closer, bringing their bodies’ flush against one another again. Dean sighed and pushed his crotch against Cas’s, leaning down and sucking at the sensitive spot on his neck. Cas tightened his grip on Dean’s shirt and ground against him. suddenly Dean gripped Cas’s hips and spun him around, pulling Cas against him and grinding his cock into his ass. Dean kept his hold on his hips as Cas reached down with one hand and laced his fingers with Dean’s, then reached up to cup Dean’s stubbly face with the other.  

They dirty danced their way through the rest of the song, Dean holding tight to Cas as they swayed and spun around, his lips never leaving Cas’s. They were still dancing when the next song came on though neither of them recognized it.

“Dean.” Cas breathed.

“Hm?” Dean hummed as he continued to kiss up and down his neck.

“I think we should take this to the Impala.” Cas suggested.

Dean chucked into Cas’s ear, “You read my mind sweetheart.” He spun Cas around and pulled him towards the entrance.

They stumbled their way out the door and through the parking lot, desperate to keep their hands and lips on one another. Once they reached the Impala in the back of the dark parking lot, Cas shoved Dean against the back door, latching onto his neck while undoing his belt buckle. Dean moaned as Cas wrapped his hand around his cock, stroking slowly.

Dean grabbed the back of Castiel’s head with one hand and pulled him in for a passionate kiss while popping his belt and unbuttoning his jeans with the other. He shoved Cas’s jeans down enough to free his cock and rocked his hips into Cas. Cas pulled Dean’s cock free of his jeans and rocked his hips into him, rubbing their hard lengths together. Cas broke the kiss with a gasp, leaning his forehead against Dean’s as he boxes Dean in with both his hands placed on the doorframe next to his head. Dean took both their aching cocks in his hand and started to stroke, twisting on the upstroke.

“Ah, fuck Dean.” Cas panted.

Dean picked up speed as Cas rocked his hips in rhythm with Dean’s strokes. He was getting close, and he could tell Dean was too by the grunts he was making.

“Cum for me Cas. Let me use your cum as lube for my cock.” Dean groaned deeply.

Cas made filthy sounds as he shot hot ropes of cum all over their cocks. Dean followed shortly after, adding to the mess that now dripped from his hand. They stood panting and coming down from their highs for a moment. Dean started to chuckle lightly, and Cas joined him. Cas pushed off the impala and put himself back into his jeans. “Well, that was…” Cas trailed off.

“Intense.” Dean said, turning to open the back door to the Impala, reaching in to pull out an old towel. He cleaned his hand off and pulled his jeans back up.

Cas looked around to see if anyone saw them and he was relieved to see that there was no one in sight.

Cas smiled and grabbed Deans waist, pulling him in and kissing him slow and languid. “Thank you, Dean. tonight was perfect.” Cas said when he pulled away.

“Don’t mention it babe. We needed a break.” Dean squeezed Cas’s ass playfully.

“We did.” Cas agreed.

“I love you.” Dean said with a gentle kiss.

“I love you Dean. Let’s get home.”

“Agreed.”

They let each other go and Dean went around and opened the passenger door for Cas then went back around and got in the driver’s side. Baby roared to life, and they headed out of the parking lot and back home.

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They pulled into the ranch about 12:30am. Dean parked the Impala then went around and opened Castiel’s door. They walked hand in hand to the house and up the steps. Dean stopped Cas before he opened the front door, “No phone calls while we were gone means it went well.”

Cas nods but his lips are tight. “I know.”

“I know this is hard for you, hell it’s hard for me too. But I had Sam and Eileen bring Robbie down to have dinner with them and you know they would’ve called us if anything was slightly off.” Dean explained.

“You’re right. I trust Sam and Eileens judgement. If they thought everything was going smoothly, then I’m sure everything went smoothly.”  

“That’s the spirit.” Dean smiled, grabbed Cas’s hand and opened the door. He really hoped that little peptalk wasn’t going to bite him in the ass.

“Damn it!” They heard Naomi curse from the kitchen. Dean and Cas looked at each other in confusion as they heard water running and clanking of dishes.  They walked into the kitchen to see Naomi elbow deep in suds, trying to scrub a burnt saucepan.

Dean cleared his throat, “Naomi?”

She was startled and turned around. “Oh, your back! I was just trying to get these dishes done before you both got home.”

“Thanks. How did it go?” Cas asked.

The pan slipped from Naomi’s grasp and clattered in the sink. She jumped at the sound and stepped back.

Dean walked over and took the sponge from her hand. “I got this, go talk to Cas.”

Naomi nodded gratefully. She wiped her hands off and sat down next to Cas. “It went well. I will admit that I have never cooked before so by the time Sam and Eileen came over, the kitchen was a mess and everything I attempted to cook was burned black. Eileen offered to cook spaghetti, so dinner was later than I planned but I still got Emma in bed on time. The cupcakes we made are in the fridge and only the bottoms are burnt. She missed you but I enjoyed my time with her.” Naomi was smiling, a genuine smile. Though she looked ridged next to Cas, unsure of his reaction.

Cas’s jaw clenched, he was glad everything went well and that she was able to enjoy her time with his daughter, but it left him feeling mixed emotions of happiness and resentment. He settled on a tight, “That’s good.”

There was an awkward pause before Naomi cleared her throat and asked, “Did you both have fun?”

Before Cas could answer, Dean smiled mischievously over his shoulder at him and said, “You have no idea.”

“Dean.” Cas lightly scolded with a raised brow. Dean laughed and threw his soapy hands in the air in surrender.

“Yes, we had a great time.” Cas forced himself to smile at his mother. A tight-lipped smile but a smile, nonetheless.

Naomi rolled her eyes at Dean, “Well whatever you two got up to, I’m just glad you had fun.”

Cas cocked his head to the side in confusion. She must be playing me. She can’t seriously be ok with me being gay and accepting me and Dean together. Especially with Dean’s little innuendos. He thought and intended to say as much to Dean when they got upstairs.

“Alright, that pan is finally clean. Let’s go to bed babe.” Dean threw the towel he dried his hands on onto the counter and pecked Cas on the cheek. “Night Naomi! Thanks again.” He called as he walked up the stairs.

Cas stared after his fiancé for a moment before he stood up and awkwardly bid his mother goodnight. Once upstairs, he checked on Emma who was fast asleep like always, The Colonel laying at the foot of her bed like always. He walked into his and Deans room. Dean was already in a pair of sleep shorts and no shirt when he walked over to their joined dresser and pulled out his own sleep shorts. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” Dean slid under the blanket and pulled back the other side for Cas.

“I still think my mother has something she’s hiding. I don’t see how she can practically laugh for her, at your sexual innuendos that involve me. It doesn’t make any sense.” Cas sighed as he climbed into bed beside Dean.

“I know but like I said earlier, people can change if they really want to. Fuck, it surprises me as much as you.” Dean rubbed his hand up and down Cas’s arm as he cuddled into Dean’s shoulder.

“I just don’t know what to think anymore.” Cas sighed in frustration.

“Just see where this goes. We have a plan if it goes south and right now it’s not. So just see what happens.”

“You’re right. Night love.”

“Night Cas.” Dean reached over and flipped off the lamp on the bedside table.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 10

Something About Horses

August 23^rd, 2011

A little over a week later Dean was sweating his ass off in the back pasture, the mid-August sun beating down on his bare shoulders. He shed his shirt an hour ago while repairing the fence for the billionth time. Something Dean loved about Montana was that the weather was rarely unbearably hot, but right now they were having a heat wave, and he was a hot mess. “Fucking hell, it’s hot out here.” He grumbled as he took the small towel from his back pocket to wipe the sweat from his face.

“I miss the snow.” Kevin said from the ground where he was tightening some wire around the bottom of a post.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Cain commented from where he sat atop his horse, shotgun in hand and head on a swivel as he surveyed their surroundings. Dean chuckled. Cains humor was about as dry as the Sahara Desert and he was quiet, rarely adding to the conversation unless he really wanted to. Dean was never sure if he meant to be funny or if he was just saying what was on his mind. He was a man who could sit in silence with anyone for hours and not feel the discomfort of awkwardness in the slightest.

They spotted cougar tracks in the pasture closer to the house, so while Kevin and Dean fixed the fence, Cain was protecting them in case the cougar decided to make an appearance. Right now, they could hear coyotes off in the distance and Goose was sitting in Dean’s saddle on Zeppelins back, the horse not having a care in the world that the dog was barking occasionally at the sound of the coyotes. Goose was a good dog, curious but listened well and Dean preferred he stay on Zeppelins back when coyotes can be heard, not wanting to take the chance of them coming closer to attack his dog.

Dean is driving the new post into the ground when his phone rings. He stops, breathing heavily as he pulls his phone out. It’s Jody, the sheriff who worked on his and Sam’s case when he was a child. They kept in touch over the years since he moved away from Kansas, and she occasionally came to the roadhouse to visit. He wondered what she needed as he answered the call.

“Jody! Good to hear from you.”

“Hi Dean. How are you doing?”

“I’m good. Cas is good and so is everyone else. Is there something I can do for you?” he asks.

“There is something actually. I got a mare a few weeks ago from a horrible neglect case and she won’t let anyone near her. She’s terrified, Dean. She was nothing but skin and bones when we got her out of there. They had to keep her lightly sedated the whole time the vet treated her wounds, but once she was healed enough, she was put into a small pasture at the shelter, and she won’t let anyone in.”

Dean listened; he thought he knew where she was going with this, but he had to make sure first. “That’s rough Jody, but where do I come in here?”

“I’ve had trainers, and several vets look at her. They all agree that she is a safety risk and to wild. I don’t agree. I think she deserves a second chance. She is only 4 years old Dean.”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, yeah, he knew where this was going. “You want me to try with her.” he states.

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you could help her.”

“I don’t know Jody. I’ve got a lot on my plate, and I have a kid now.”

“I respect that. I really do Dean. But please come look at her. I will pay for your hotel in town and the gas to get you here if you just come, look at her and give me your expert opinion. I will do whatever you think is best for her. I just think she has a lot to give if she is given the chance with the right person.”

“Ok. Me and Cas will come down. I’m not promising anything, but I will come look at her.” Dean sighed, he felt for the mare, she was young and maybe Jody was right. Maybe she just needed to be with the right trainer. Much like Crowley has done, Dean is Jody’s go to for hard cases. He was willing to give her a chance.  

“Thank you so much Dean. I really appreciate it.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Dean paused, the howl of the coyotes echoing around them. “Hey, do you have any donkeys at the shelter right now?”

“I do actually. Two from a neglect case a few towns over. They’ve been up for adoption for a few months now.”

“Perfect. I want to look at them too. I need some donkeys to help with some coyotes that want my cows.”

Dean heard Jody laugh, “Oh they will be perfect for you. They are really sweet but very territorial. I’ll have to papers ready for them.”

“Great. We will leave tomorrow so we’ll see you in a few days. Send me the hotel info.”

“Will do. thank you, Dean.”

“No problem. Talk soon.” Dean hung up the phone and groaned. He knew the likely hood of coming home with this mare he knew nothing about was high. He had a soft spot for any animal in need. But he was determined to use more caution than he used to, he had Emma to think about and that had caused him to be more cautious than before.

He turned to Kevin and Cain, “We’re getting some donkeys to help with the coyote situation. Me and Cas will leave tomorrow to head to Kansas to pick them up. can you both plus Sam hold the fort down until we get back?”

“You got it boss.” Cain said at the same time Kevin said, “Absolutely.”

Dean nodded. He had a few calls to make to set up some deliveries and to ask Ellen and Bobby if they would come stay at the house and watch Emma. Though he already knew the answer would be yes, Ellen and Bobby never missed an opportunity to spend time with Emma and she adored them.

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The next day.

“Are you sure about this Dean?” Cas asked from the passenger seat of the largest work truck they had, a Chevy 2500, Dean’s three-horse trailer being towed behind it.

“No idea but I have to try.” Dean replies. They are about two hours into a roughly 17-hour drive. “We have to get some good sleep at the hotel though because with a horse that is untouchable, we have to be strategic about our stops. Since we can’t unload and walk her around, we have to stop at places with pens I can back up to and let her out and then chase her back in. it’s going to be rough I’m not going to lie to you Cas.”

“I’m ready. I just hope you aren’t taking on too much.” Cas was worried Dean was taking too much on, with the cows, the brood mares and stallions, and they were starting on building the new arena in September. Not that the area should take that long to build, they had no plans to cover it just yet, but it was labor intensive with the sturdy wood fencing Dean wanted to put up and the roping chute that would be in as well added extra work. Cas was desperate to find another hand to hire before they started building.

“Nah I’m not. I’ll probably hand her off to Kevin if she responds well and I can get her started.” Dean said.

“Yeah, that could work.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, the sounds of the road and the radio playing quiet rock music through the speakers filling the silence.

“Ya know you still haven’t found a horse yet. It’s been a long time Cas.” Dean starts.

Cas sighs, “I know. I just haven’t found one that calls to me. do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I get it. I found Zep pretty quickly and it was an instant connection. Sometimes you have to work for the connection though. keep that in mind babe.” Dean smiles over at Cas before turning his eyes back to the road.

“I know. I’ll start looking and trying some when we get back home.” Cas takes Dean’s right hand and laces their fingers together, squeezing lightly.

“Sounds good.”

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They drove a little over halfway there before stopping for dinner and to sleep. They woke early the next day and arrived in Lawrence Kansas around 1pm. They pulled into the ranch that the shelter and sheriff’s office used for the animals they rescued. Dean parked the truck and trailer next to the barn and they both got out.

Jody came out of the barn to greet them, “Dean! Cas! It’s so good to see you both again!” She hugged Dean then Cas and they talked about Emma and the rest of the family for a few minutes. Then Jody shows them the donkeys who take an instant interest in them. They feed them carrots and Dean signs the adoption papers for each one.

“Alright, let’s hear about this mare you’re trying to pawn off on me.” Dean teases.

Jody rolls her eyes and pulls out her phone. As she scrolls through her photos she explains, “She’s a mustang, born right after her momma was rounded up. She was purchased with her mother and that’s the place we rescued them from. The person who bought them threw them in a pasture for the last four years and just left them to fend for themselves. She’s had zero handling since she was born. Her momma was adopted by one of my deputies since she showed interest in humans and a willingness to learn. She is doing great, and I think her baby could do the same.” She turns her phone so they can both see the screen and she scrolls through some pictures of when they first rescued her an the progress her body made over the following weeks.

“Damn. You weren’t kidding about her being skin and bones.” Dean commented.

“Poor thing.” Cas cringes as he looks at the pictures. His heart hurts for this innocent animal.

“I don’t know about a mustang Jody. They are great animals but if she’s been through enough trauma, her wild nature might not let her be willing to let us help her.” Dean says.

“I know. Just try… Please.”

“I’ll try. Where is she?”

“Right this way.” Jody leads the way around the back of the barn to where 6 small pastures are lined up. Each one has a horse in it, and they quickly spot the mare. She’s ratty looking, long mane and tail matted and caked with mud; her body equally as dirty but she looks to be a solid white horse under all the mud. She stands tall, Dean guesses a little over 15 hands but knows Jody will have all that information for him. The second they approach her small pasture and lean on the fence, her head pops up and she makes eye contact with them, her nose flaring, eyes wide with fear as she begins pacing, ears pinned to her head.

“This is how she always is. This pasture is her home now and she doesn’t want anyone in it but she’s too afraid to come any closer unless you enter the pasture first, then she charges you. She will pace back there and snort and throw a fit until we leave.” Jody explains.

“Hmmm.” Dean studies her, the way she moves and carries herself. The way she eyes him like he might strike her at any moment. “Are you sure she’s completely untouched?” He asks.

“We believe so from how she acts. The old owner wouldn’t confirm or deny anything.”

“Usually, untouched mustangs are obviously afraid but still tend to show some curiosity in humans. They haven’t had any negative interactions to cause such immediate and volatile reactions like this from this far away. Usually, they would ignore us from this distance. She seems like she has suffered abuse from a person for such-“ Dean is cut off as she unexpectedly charges the fence they are standing at, coming within a few feet of them, ears back, snorting and squealing as she strikes out with her front hooves. “Violent reactions.” Dean finishes his sentence as Jody and Cas take a step back, but he stays on the fence, unafraid of her. He knows if he shows fear and steps back in this moment that he will have lost any chance of helping her.

Dean turns and walks the few feet to Jody, and they started talking about the mare, Dean wanting as much information as he can get on her before he makes his final decision. Meanwhile Cas watched the mare. She is standing at the fence, pawing at the ground, snorting, and throwing her head in her rage.

“Easy.” He says in a low and soothing tone. The mare turns to look at him, her breath coming in hard pants as her nostrils flare and she snorts at him. “Easy girl. We just want to help.”

For the first time since they arrived at her fence, she stopped stomping and her ears pricked forwards in curiosity as she listened to his voice. “No one understands you, do they?” he asks, not breaking eye contact with the horse as he takes a step towards her, the wood fence still separating them.

She throws her head around and takes a step towards him, her chest pushing against the fence, her hot breath blowing across Cas’s face.

“Dean.” Jody smacked him on the arm and pointed towards the pasture he has his back to, “Look.”

Dean quickly turns to see Cas and the horse only inches away from each other. He can hear Cas talking to her quietly but has no idea what he is saying. What he did notice was that this mare was willingly close to him, and her ears were forward and her eyes not nearly as wide as they once were. He turned fully to watch the interaction, trusting that Cas had learned enough from him to know his and the horses’ limits. He wanted to see what would happen.

“No one knows what you’ve been through.” Cas says as the mare stomps a foot and pushes her nose into his chest. He chuckles lightly, not wanting to scare her. “That’s something we have in common. We both have been misunderstood for so long, and then you find your place and the people who want to take the chance to help you heal and want to love you. But it’s hard to let people in when you’ve been hurt so many times before.” He feels this immense pull towards this animal, this connection, something he’s never felt before. He’s not afraid of her, she doesn’t want to hurt him, she won’t hurt him, he knows this somehow. He reaches out slowly and rests his hand on her forehead. She drops her head and her eyes close for a moment. She lets out a big breath and Cas can feel her relax in her touch as he runs his hand up and down her face. She lowers her head and pushes into his touch.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Dean says, a smile pulling at his lips. He pulls out his phone and starts snapping a few photos, wanting to capture what he knows is a special moment.

“Wow.” Jody says, smiling at Dean.

Cas lowers his head and leans his forehead against hers, closing his eyes, “Your safe now. Let’s get you home.” Cas stands up straight and drops his hand. The mare shakes her head, licks her lips, and walks calmly away to graze some grass. Cas turns to find Dean and Jody beaming at him.

“That was amazing Cas.” Dean says.

He smiles at his fiancé then turns to Jody, “I would like to take this one step further and adopt her instead of just Dean taking her on to train then rehome her. I found my horse.”

“Of course, the horse you want is not a trained, safe horse, but a four-year-old, traumatized mustang.” Den shakes his head and chuckles. “It’s fitting though. You see yourself in her don’t you.” It’s not a question. Dean knows what Cas sees in the mare, the same thing he saw in Zeppelin years ago when he got him, a piece of his own soul walking around outside his body on four hooves.

Cas nodded, “Yes. She just needs someone that understands her.”

“I can think of no better person. This will be fun. I get to help you train your first horse.” Dean tried to sound optimistic though he still felt a little hesitant.

Jody got the papers ready, and Cas signed on the dotted line. They spent the next few hours watching Cas as he sat on a mounting block in the middle of the pasture, letting the mare walk around him and sniff him as much as she wanted. An hour in and she was napping with her head resting against his shoulder as he stroked his hand along her chin.

“I’ve never seen this happen this fast.” Dean commented to Jody.

“Me neither. He’s so calm with her. She must feel very safe with him.”

Dean nods in agreement. He watches as Cas works on getting her used to a halter and lead rope, running both over her neck and putting the halter on without hooking it. Dean is in shock that the mare is letting Cas throw a rope around her neck and put a halter on her. They decide to stop on a positive note for today and come back tomorrow to work with the halter and lead her for the first time, then, they will load her and the donkeys up and head back to the ranch.

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The next day they went back to the ranch where the donkeys and mare were, and Cas worked with his Mustang some more. She greeted him with a soft nicker and took a carrot from his hand. Cas was able to halter her and lead her around much to Dean’s surprise. With guidance from Dean, Cas was able to load her into the trailer after the donkeys without any issues. If she kept up this good behavior, they would be able to make it back home without any problems.

During the first day of their trip, they were able to successfully stop at a few preplanned stops that had quiet places for them to unload the mare and donkeys. At the first stop the mare was understandably scared, but with Cas walking her around and talking to her in a low, soothing tone, she calmed down and even grazed at some of the grass in the nearby field. Dean had called ahead and made a reservation and made sure the small paddock with a run in was available at a small Inn near Rapid City South Dakota. They arrived late and unloaded the donkeys and mare and got them settled in a paddock with plenty of hay. They were exhausted and fell into bed as soon as they got into their room.

The next day they had around a seven-hour drive to Winchester Ranch. They woke early and loaded everyone up into the trailer, made sure each animal had plenty of hay and water, and headed out. They would be able make the final stretch while only stopping once to get lunch and switch places. Cas drove the first 3 and a half hours and Dean drove the remaining.

When they pulled into the driveway Cas sent a text to Ellen to bring Emma outside so she could see them pull in. They were both excited to see their baby girl and they knew from their conversation with her the night before, that she was more than ready to see them.

As they pulled up to the house, they could see Emma standing on the porch with Ellen and Naomi, she was smiling, jumping up and down and waving like crazy, still clutching that stuffed squirrel she loved so much. Dean rolled down his window as they passed in front of the house and they both waved and called to her. Once they were parked in front of the broodmare barn and the truck was shut off, Emma came running up with Ellen and Naomi not far behind. Dean was out of the truck first and she threw herself into his arms with a high-pitched, excited squeal.

“Dadddddyyyyyyyy!” she clung to his neck as he spun her around.

“I missed you princess!” Dean told her.

She pulled back though still in his arms and grabbed his face with both of her tiny hands, “You were gone soooooooo long.” She drags out the ‘o’ in so and leans her forehead against his.

He laughs, “We weren’t gone that long.”

Cas comes around the truck smiling and says, “We missed you like crazy though.”

Emma’s head whips in his direction and she exclaims, “PAPPAAAAA!” and reaches for Cas. He takes her and throws her in the air before catching her and hugging her tightly.

“I missed you an extra lot.” She says into his shoulder.

“She did good boys. It’s good to have you back.” Ellen said as she hugged them both.

“I am glad you made it back safely.” Naomi said, her eyes red rimmed.

Cas titled his head in confusion at her seeming sadness. He couldn’t figure out what she could possibly be sad about. Though he thought it was about time he pried a little. “Mother, are you ok?” He set Emma down on her feet and she ran over to where Dean was showing Ellen the donkeys that were still in the trailer.

“I’m fine Castiel.” She wiped her eyes quickly and tried to smile.

“Bullshit. You’ve been crying.” Cas narrowed his eyes to her.

“It’s nothing Castiel. No need to worry.” She waved him off.

Frustration and anger began to rise inside him, but he decided to try a gentle approach, squashing down his frustrations with a deep sigh, and saying instead, “You can tell me you know. I will listen and try to understand.”

All she could do was nod, biting her bottom lip as fresh tears fell. “I can’t.” she said, barely audible. She looked up at him, a lifetime of emotions and apologies in her eyes but he needed to hear her say the words. She had too. “I’m sorry.” She murmured before turning and practically running to the house.

Cas stared after her, jaw slack with nothing but silence tumbling out. He knew her apology was because she didn’t want to talk to him at that moment, but he yearned to hear a real apology from her one day for all the ways she hurt him growing up, and continued to hurt him by refusing to let him in. His patience was running thin, but he was determined to hold out.

He shook his head and took a deep breath, then he turned his attention to his family standing by the trailer.

Ellen watched from a safe distance with Emma as Dean and Cas unloaded the donkeys and the Mustang mare. Once Dean got the donkeys into their quarantine pasture where they would spend the next week or so, he helped Cas get the mare settled in one of the small paddocks where she would quarantine and get settled in; then she would go out with the brood mares.

“What are you gonna name her Pappa?” Emma asked as he hung the halter on the gate to her paddock.

“I was thinking Angel. What do you think?” Cas squatted down in front of her.

“I like it. Why did you picks it?” she asked, her natural curiosity taking over.

“Well, me and your uncles are named after angels. Angels are strong and resilient. They are warriors.” Cas looks to the too skinny mare who is sniffing the ground and checking out her new home. She’s still covered in dried mud and her mane and tail need a good brushing and trimming. She desperately needs a bath but that will not happen for a while, she has to trust him enough first. “She’s a fighter, she’s strong and she made it this far in some not-so-great conditions. So, I think naming her Angel is a good fit.” He smiles at his daughter.

She smiles and nods, “I loves it Pappa. She’s strong like me!”

Cas chuckles, “You are very strong aren’t you.”

She nods vigorously and bounces on her feet.

“Come on.” Cas stands and takes her hand, “Let’s go back to the house.”

They walked hand in hand back up to the house. When they reached the porch, they found Dean standing there scratching his head and staring at something they couldn’t see.

“Dean? What’s wrong?” Cas asked.

Dean’s head snapped in their direction, “Where the hell did this come from?” he points in the direction of the offending thing.

Cas furrowed his brow and walked up the steps while Emma giggled at his side like she knows something he doesn’t. He reaches the porch and sees what Dean is pointing at. On one of the patio chairs lays a sleeping solid black cat. “Where did that come from?” he echoes Deans question.

“I don’t know. I walked up the stairs and BOOM! Cat.” Dean says dramatically.

Cas snorted. “Emma, do you know how this cat got here?”

She giggles more and nods, then walks over and proceeds to pick up the small cat.

“Emma don’t-“ Dean started but she had already picked it up and was cradling it like a baby. The cat didn’t do much more than crack an eye and snuggle into her warmth.

They both looked on in confusion as Emma smiled up at them, “This is my cat. He has three legs, see.” She points to where the little cat is missing one of his back legs, then continues, “And Uncle Sam found him!” she announces.

 Dean grunts and Cas laughs, shaking his head having known all the stories of Sam bringing animals home his entire life.

“Where is he?” Dean asked no one in particular. He was in no way mad about the little cat, especially if it made Emma happy. But he was still going to give his brother a hard time about bringing home yet another animal. 

As if he was summoned, Sam walks through the front door and onto the porch, “Hey guys! Glad your b – aack.” He draws out the word ‘back’ awkwardly as he catches Cas trying to suppress laughter and Dean’s slight glare.

Sam laughs lightly, slightly scared for his life. “So, I see you’ve met the newest member of the family.”

“Yeah. I come home to a cat on my porch – AACHHOOOO!” Dean sneezes. He has a slight allergy to cats. “Emma says you found him. please enlighten me.” He finishes with a sniffle.

“Well, we were at the bar yesterday, I was there helping Ellen with stocking and Emma walked out to the dumpster with me to throw some trash away, and we found this guy.” He gestures to the cat still cuddled in Emma’s arms and purring loudly. “Heard him crying after I threw the bag in and he was under the dumpster, not moving and mostly lifeless.” Sam paused when Cas and Dean both looked down at the small animal. Now they both noticed how tiny and frail he was. “I pulled him out and we took him to Crowley. He checked him out, vaccinated him and gave him a really good bath to get all the gunk off him. He fell in love with Emma and Emma with him. Crowley says he's healthy, just extremely skinny and needs a good home. Emma begged to bring him home.” Sam finished.

Dean’s heart melted and he sighed.

“Can we keep him, Daddy? Pweeeeeaaaassseeee.” Emma looked up at him with big eyes and a pouty lip. How could Dean say no to that.

“Yeah, we can.” Dean gave in, a smile forming on his lips. 

“Yay!” Emma exclaimed.

“He’s tired right now because he’s been hunting all morning.” Sam commented.

“What do you mean?” Cas asked.

“Once we got some food in him last night and this morning, he got some energy back. All day today he’s been hunting around the outside of the house and in the barn. He’s killed three lizards and four rats just today. Missing a leg doesn’t slow him down at all.”  Sam explained.

“Damn. He’s a little reaper.” Dean laughed lightly.

“Hey!” Cas smacked Dean’s chest.

“Ow, what was that for?” Dean asked, rubbing his peck.

“Sorry.” Cas apologized, “That’s a perfect name for him. Reaper.”

“Oh, shit you’re right. I’m a genius.” Dean smirked.

Cas and Sam both rolled their eyes. “Welcome to the family Reaper.” Cas reached down and scratched under the cat’s chin, feeling him purring contentedly.

“ACHOO!” Dean sneezed again.

“Allergy meds?” Cas asked with a chuckle.

Dean nods, wiping his running eyes, “Allergy meds.” And walks inside the house.

“We will have to go get him a collar and name tag tomorrow.” Cas says to Emma.

“Can I pick it?”

“Of course! He’s yours, right?”

“Right!”

“Crowley said he’s between 10 months and a year old so he may get bigger, but his growth may have been stunted a little bit because of the condition he was found in.” Sam explains.

“I’m sure with all the rats he will be hunting, he will fatten up quickly.” Cas laughs.

Emma puts the cat back on the chair and he curls up, going back to sleep while they head inside. Castiel’s life may be overrun with animals and his mind may be confused about where he stands with his mother and what their relationship will look like in the future. But he knows one thing for sure, he loves his life, the life he built on this ranch with Dean and now Emma. And he wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

Chapter Text

Under the Willow

Chapter 11

Hidden Talents

Monday September 12^th, 2011

“Dean I don’t know how much longer I can take this.” Cas grumbled as he paced along the length of the barn isle while Dean was trimming and reshoeing a few of the horses.

Dean looked up from where he was working on Zeppelins hoof. “Start slow. Maybe ask questions that don’t pertain to her directly.”

“Like what?”

“You never really knew her side of the family, right? Like her parents or any cousins?” Dean pulled the last nail from the shoe and pulled the shoe from the hoof, then he let Zeppelins foot gently drop to the ground. He stood up and took the metal shoe over to his anvil so he could reshape it to the hoof. The clanking of metal on metal as he reshaped the shoe echoed around them as Cas talked.

“No. From what little I’ve been told I only met her parents twice and that was at very public events. The one thing my dad put his foot down on was keeping her and his children as far away from her parents as much as possible. Though I have no idea why she was ok with that if she just treated us the same way she was raised.”

“Maybe they were worse to her than the way she raised you. And she only agreed to it because she was actually grateful to be away from them but raised to never admit something like that.” Dean suggested.

Cas immediately stopped pacing, “It would make the most sense. Although I can’t imagine what she would have gone through if she was treated worse than the way she treated me and my brothers. Well, mostly me.”

Dean put down his hammer and hung the shoe on the end of the anvil and walked over to Cas, putting one hand on his shoulder and lifting his chin with the other, “Look, we are leaving Friday to go camping for your birthday. Why don’t you offer to let her come with us? Maybe being out in the wilderness will help her relax more and you can get any information from her.”

Cas snorted, the thought of his mother ever willingly going camping was laughable, utterly ridiculous and he knew it would never happen.

“I know you think she will turn the offer down, but you never know unless you ask. Her answer might surprise you.” Dean felt like he was talking out his ass. He was because he knew the likelihood of Naomi agreeing to go camping with them was about as likely as him meeting the queen of England herself. But he had to at least suggest it, because if she said no, he feared there would never be any hope of her mending her relationship with Cas. And he wasn’t ready to give up that hope, no matter how impossible it seemed.

Cas sighed, “Fine. I’ll ask. But I already know the answer.”

“Even so. Just ask.” Dean smiled hopefully.

Cas nodded and turned to leave the barn, heading back inside the house to ask his mother a question he was sure he knew the answer to. In the short walk from the barn to the house he tried to figure out how to ask his mother to join them. Their conversations were still strained, limited to simple niceties and conversations about the weather. He walks into the house to find his mother unloading the dishwasher. She was learning that everyone on the ranch had a job and everyone had to pull their weight so that everything ran smoothly. Dean or Cas would make lunch or dinner, and Naomi would clean up after since she had no clue how to cook. It worked well for now.

Walking up to the kitchen island, Cas took a deep breath before speaking, “Mother.”

Naomi turned and smiled slightly, “Oh, Castiel. If you’re looking for Emma, she is in her room playing. She came down for a snack and I gave her some goldfish and juice.”

“Great. Thank you but I’m not looking for Emma.” Cas said.

Naomi’s smile faltered, “Oh. Well then, I will leave you to it.” She turned back to the dishwasher.

“No, I mean I was looking for you.” Cas stated.

Naomi froze. She turned back towards him, her gaze guarded and said, “What can I do for you?”

“As you know we are going camping for my birthday this weekend.” Cas started.

“Yes, I am aware.”

“I know you will say no but I thought I would ask anyway. Would you go camping with us?” Cas looked at her, face neutral as he waited for the response he was sure was coming, and the painful disappointment he wished he couldn’t feel.

Instead, her features softened, and she smiled a genuine smile as she nodded, “I would love to go. My therapist said I should try to do some of the things I used to love again. Camping sounds like a great start.”

Cas stood there, stunned, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to process what she had just said. His brain finally settled on, “Ok. Cool, yeah. We leave Friday. Be sure to pack the boots we got you and some layers along with the heavy jacket.”

“I will. Thank you for inviting me, Castiel.” If Cas didn’t know better, he would think she seemed almost excited, but that couldn’t be. Naomi Novak never got excited about anything.

“You’re welcome.” He paused, still unsure about the whole exchange they just had, “I’m just gonna-“ he pointed towards the office and awkwardly walked that direction. He needed to think about what had just happened.

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Friday September 16^th, 2011. 9am.

A few weeks prior to the trip, they took Emma out to buy her some hiking boots since they were going to the same location Cas, Dean, and everyone else went when Cas had first arrived, and the hike to the small lake was an hour from the truck. They left early that morning and arrived at the lake a little before 9am. They were only staying for one night since a storm was coming in on Sunday, Cas’s actual birthday, and they would be celebrating at the roadhouse with the family like always. They didn’t have too much gear to carry and much to their surprise, Naomi volunteered herself to carry the tent she would be sleeping in, her small duffle, and the sack with wood in it. Dean carried his and Emma’s duffle bags along with their tent, and Cas carried the bag with food and water along with the camping utensils and frying pan and other items they brought to keep Emma comfortable for the night. Emma surprised them as well and walked the entire way to the lake without asking to be carried. She was having too much fun playing with Miracle and The Colonel to feel tired. They left Goose back at the ranch so he could help Cain and Kevin if they needed it.

When they arrived at the lake Emma let out a loud gasp at how beautiful it was, then fell into a fit of giggles when The Colonel promptly ran into the lake and began drinking water and running around in it.

“And that’s why I brought towels with us.” Dean said to Cas. Cas just shook his head and laughed along with Emma.

“This really is a beautiful spot Dean. thank you both for letting me come.” Naomi said with a huge smile on her sunglasses clad face.

Dean and Cas both turned to each other with looks of shock. Not only had Naomi thanked them so easily, but she seemed genuinely happy and the tone of voice she used was nothing like her normal voice. It was calm, and lost some of the old money, transatlantic accent she was raised to speak with. She sounded almost normal and it shocked Cas to his core.

“You’re welcome.” Dean answered for them both.

“Let’s start setting up.” Cas suggested, trying to busy himself to clear his head.

Emma grabbed her bag and pulled out the few barbies she brought with her and began playing on a stump a few feet from where Dean and Cas had started to set up their new, large tent. A few minutes later Cas looked over to see what his mother was doing and had to do a double take when he saw her with her tent almost completely set up.

“Dean.” Cas elbowed him in the ribs.

“Ow! What-“ Cas cut him off with a nod in Naomi’s direction as she nailed the stakes into the ground.

Dean’s eyes went wide. “How the fuck does she know how to put a tent up? I thought she would be sitting on a log complaining the entire time we were setting up.”

“I don’t know. We never went camping, hell we never left any large city for vacations when I was a kid. I don’t know where she learned that.”

“This is an opportunity for you to learn something about her. See if she will talk about where she learned how to do this. Then ask about her family. I think she will talk about it. Weirdly this is the happiest we’ve ever seen her.” Dean suggested, putting the last pipe into the sleeve of the tent.

“I agree. Her losing her accent is something I’ve never heard her do.” Cas says.

“I didn’t know she knew how to speak like a normal person. I thought she was just perpetually stuck in the 1950s.” Dean intoned, hammering the stakes into the ground as Cas handed them to him.

Cas chuckled, he had thought the same thing about Naomi, stuck in 1950s of her own accord. but now he wondered if it was engrained into her from a young age. He knew practically nothing about her side of the family. it was possible, and he intended to find out.

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They spent the rest of the day teaching Emma how to fish and Naomi kept them in a constant state of shock the entire time. Not only did she know how to properly set up a tent, but she also knew how to fish, bait a hook, and clean a fish. And the newest shocker of the evening was that she knew how to chop wood. The longer they stayed out in the woods, away from civilization and any large city, the more Naomi smiled, the more her trained accent fell away and left a normal, almost pleasant voice.

Cas was deeply confused, feeling as though the mother he knew his whole life was a different person than the woman sitting on a log across from him, roasting a marshmallow over the open fire and teaching Emma how to get it crispy but not burnt.

Dean was sitting next to him in shock as well, surprised but happy to see a real change in her. Now was his chance to make Cas talk to her. His hope that leaving them alone to talk while he put Emma to bed would be fruitful. Cas deserved it. He deserved answers.

“Alright little lady, time for bed. tell Grandma Naomi and Papa goodnight.” Dean stood up, meeting Castiel’s strained gaze and nodding in Naomi’s direction.

Cas knew what he meant, he just wasn’t sure how to start the conversation. He wasn’t used to conversing casually with his mother. This was new territory for him. He watched as Emma hugged Naomi and she kissed his daughter’s head with a smile. It was a sight that he just couldn’t wrap his head around. She never hugged him as a child, at least not that he could remember, and he had a great memory. Emma came over to him and threw herself in his arms. Even with the war raging inside him, he couldn’t help but laugh and smile when his baby blew a raspberry against his cheek. He tickled her belly, and she giggled. He then pulled her in and hugged her tightly before she ran off with Dean to brush her teeth and go to bed.

He and Naomi sat in awkward silence as the cold breeze made the warm fire crackle around them. They were all bundled up in thick coats and winter pants and boots. There was snow on the mountain caps around them, but it wasn’t cold enough for the snow to stick on the ground where they were; the days still reaching the 60s.

Cas looked at his watch as his mother fiddled with the hem of her jacket. It felt like an hour since Dean and Emma went to the tent. It had really only been five minutes. Cas sighed, Now or never.

“Where did you learn all this?” Cas asked, looking over at his mother.

Her head snapped in his direction as if he had pulled her from deep within her thoughts. “Hm? Learn what?”

“All this.” Cas gestures around them, “How did you know how to set up your tent? How do you know how to chop wood? How the fuck did you know how to clean a fish? That one – that one really shocked me considering you can’t cook.” It came out of his mouth quickly, like if he didn’t get it out fast enough, she might shut down before he could finish the question.

She laughed, a genuine laugh that bubbled up from deep in her chest. Cas felt the corner of his mouth quirk up. He tried to stop the laughter but after a moment he found himself laughing along with her. “I’m sorry.” She held her hand in front of her mouth while she tried to rein in her laughter. “It is quite ridiculous isn’t it. Someone who burns water can properly clean and prepare a fish in the wilderness.”

“I can’t say it’s a bad look on you. Just incredibly surprising.” Cas shrugged.

She looked over at him, her walls down for once, and he saw pain, bittersweet longing, and sadness in her expression. “I used to love camping. I learnt everything when I was a teenager from a very dear friend.”

“Who?” He dared to ask.

She clutched the locket around her neck, and he knew it must contain a photo of who she was talking about, and he was sure the man was not his father. He knew that she didn’t meet Chuck until she was 19 and out of high school.

She shook her head. “No one you know dear.”

His eyes widened in shock at her calling him ‘dear’. She had never called him anything other than Castiel his whole life. In her words he knew she wasn’t going to open up about this mysterious person who taught her how to do all these things. So, he decided to stick with his original goal: to find out about her family.

“Can I ask you something?” He started.

She stiffened, and he knew she thought he was going to push about this “friend”. She nodded, nonetheless.

“Tell me about your family.” he said.

She visibly relaxed, clearly more comfortable talking about her family than who taught her to camp. “What do you want to know?”

“What were your parents like? You always say you raised us like they raised you, but I don’t know that I believe that.”

She blew out a breath, “You would be correct to an extent. And reflecting back on my life and the way we raised you and your brothers compared to the way I was raised is quite different. Your father insisted that the way I was raised was wrong and I didn’t believe him until recently. It was one of the main things we fought about. Especially with you.”

“Why especially with me?” Cas asked.

“Surely you know by now that you were an accident Castiel.” She chuckled.

He nodded, “I figured as much considering the age gap between me, Gabe, and Michael.”

“You are the result of one of the few times after we had your brothers that we actually got along for more than five minutes.” She paused, clearly remembering a time when her and Chuck got along. “Your father had broken his tibia and was home for two months straight. He refused to have one of the butlers tend to him, he insisted it be me. At first, I was furious. Then the longer we spent time together cooped up in our bedroom the longer I was reminded of our first year together and one thing led to another, and I found out I was pregnant with you a few weeks after he went back to work.”

Cas smirked, “You were that bored.”

She snorted, “Well the house didn’t have internet yet, and we didn’t have cell phones. What else were we supposed to do all day.”

Cas grimaced, “Thank you for that mental image mother.”

She threw her head back on a laugh, “I may have been raised by uncaring and cruel overly religious prudes, but I myself have never been a prude Castiel. But bad feelings and fights got in mine and chucks way most of the time.”

“I’m sorry your marriage was like that. I can’t imagine being trapped like that.”

“It was better than the alternative.” She mumbled.

“The alternative?”

She shook her head, “That’s a conversation for another time.” she deflected before turning the conversation back to her parents. “You asked about how I was raised. I know now that the way I treated you was deplorable, and I am truly sorry for that. You deserved better, you deserved a better mother, a better life.”

For the hundredth time that day, Cas was shocked. Shocked that she admitted to treating him horribly, shocked that she apologized. “Thank you, mother. I really appreciate you saying that.”

“Your father kept me as far away from my parents as he could. And after we had your brothers, we stayed even further away. I didn’t mind because I was resentful towards my parents. But I was blind to his reasoning. It was not because I wanted it, it was because he didn’t want them treating his children the way they treated me growing up.”

“Now I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Cas felt bad for Naomi. He hoped she would tell him more; he had no idea about any of this so far.

She continued, “I see now more than ever the damage they caused me, both mentally and physically. I was raised by servants, trained and brainwashed to do certain things and be a certain way in all aspects of my life. I lived at boarding schools since I began school. When I was home, they weren’t there, and if they were I was getting physically reprimanded for the smallest things.”

“They abused you.” Cas stated. She nodded.

“I quickly learned to stay on their good sides. But even then, sometimes it wasn’t enough. much like I did with you, they never showed me affection.” She paused, looking away from him for a moment before meeting his eyes again, tears shining in hers in the firelight. “I wish I could go back and change the way I treated you; I wish I would’ve hugged you, taken care of you when you were sick, told you that I loved you. Because I do Castiel. I love you and your brothers; I grew to love Chuck in my own way. But my upbringing clouded the way I saw things and I fucked up horribly.” She was crying now. “I’m so sorry Cas, I’m so very sorry for everything.”

“Mom I –“ Cas wasn’t sure what to do, so he did the only thing he felt like he should as his heart broke for the woman he never thought it would break for. He stood up and wrapped her in his arms, hugging her tightly. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his chest. Cas realized that he was happy with the information she gave him for now. He would ask more questions later, but for now, they had made progress, and he was happy with that. There were still things he needed answers to, things that didn’t make sense like why she seemed to hate him so much for being gay. He thought it had to run deeper than just her religious parents and the way they raised her. but there was time for those questions.

He let her sob into his chest for as long as she needed, and when she was done, she pulled back, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Cas pulled away but kept a hand on her shoulder, “I forgive you, mom. Thank you for telling me all that.”

She nodded and sniffled, “There is more, plenty more but I don’t think I’m there yet. I need more time.”

Cas nodded, trying to understand. If it were him, he would want to get everything out at once, but he understood that they were different people with different needs and timelines. “We’ve got time.” He smiled lightly.

“Well, I think I will turn in. I’m exhausted.” She stood and so did he. “Goodnight Cas.” She kissed her hand and placed it on the side of his face. He closed his eyes at the contact, his inner child healing slightly at the gentle touch he never received from her before. He had a feeling she was going to be more affectionate with him and something inside him welcomed the idea. He hadn’t realized how much he had craved a motherly type of affection until he met Ellen, and she showed him how a mother should act. To see Naomi trying to find her footing with him as his mother was going to be difficult, but he wanted her to try. This was what he always wanted, a relationship with his mother. He felt a positive shift in their relationship, and he hoped it stayed that way.

She paused as she reached her tent, “Cas?”

“Yes mom?” he held his breath, unsure what she wanted to say.

“I don’t want your daughter to know the old me, the person you grew up with. I don’t want you to hide her from me. I know I failed you, but I won’t fail her or any other children you and Dean bring into your life. You’re a great dad. You and Dean have shown me that two men are more than capable of raising a child with more love and kindness than I’ve ever seen. I’m proud of you Cas.” She smiled and her voice trembled.

Cas’s eyes stung with unshed tears, emotions he didn’t know how to handle tore through his body. He nodded, “Thank you mom. That really means a lot to me.”

“I mean it. Goodnight again.”

“Goodnight.” He mumbled, emotion bubbling over as he let a few tears fall as he watched her go into her tent. He sat for a moment and just let himself feel whatever these emotions were, confusion, elation, melancholy, but mostly pure happiness. When he felt more stable, he made sure the fire was going to die out naturally and safely, then he went to his and Dean’s tent and stepped in, quietly zipping it back up behind him.

“Fuck.” He cursed as he tripped over Miracle at the end of the blow-up bed. Dean chuckled in the quiet night.

Cas rolled his eyes as he stripped off his jacket. It was significantly warmer in the tent with the small electric heater Dean had brought along to keep Emma warm. The sound of the small generator running outside the tent to run the heater could be heard, thankfully it wasn’t too loud. He looked over to where Emma was asleep on a small blowup mattress with The Colonel tucked under her arm, her own personal space heater. He smiled and then kicked his shoes off before crawling under the blankets next to Dean.

“Sounded like that went well.” Dean said sleepily.

“It did. I’m still shocked she apologized and admitted to any of it. But it’s a start and I’m happy with it.” Cas curled into Dean’s arm.

“I’m glad babe. She’ll get there, you both will.” Dean tilted Cas’s chin up and kissed him lazily. They kissed for a few minutes, basking in each other’s presence.

“Thank you for pushing me Dean.”

Dean smiled, “Your welcome. Let’s get some sleep. You know Emma’s gonna be up early.”

Cas snorted, “I know.” He snuggled up closer to Dean and closed his eyes, “Goodnight love.”

“Night Cas.”