Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Okay you made a mistake: GOD KNOWS I've made more than my share; it's fixable like I said that day at the bowling
alley..."

" Again " with this Gibson? Like I told YOU that day at the bowling alley: I LOVE ROBERT. I'm not divorcing him."

"JUST...what does he have that I don't have?"

The plaintive tune makes Andy's heartache. "Look...let's not get into that..."

"WHY? Say what you have to say," he insisted.

"Please let's NOT, okay? PLEASE?"

"Spit it out-I'm a grown man."

"DROP IT, Jack!"

"Answer the question! Is he better than me in the sack-bigger cock; better technique?..."

" ALL OF THAT " she finally conceded in frustration. "ALL of it. Don't give me that 'death stare': YOU ASKED. You
refused to let it drop. I begged you; so there it is. Another difference, maybe the most important is I'm in love with him. I'm sorry to put it
so...so RAW, but I need you to understand. I'm sorry. There it is."

"There it is," he repeated hollowly. "There it is...what the fuck is wrong with me?!" he exploded. I started up with YOU again, knowing
that you're in love with another man...I fucked Maya, knowing that she and Carina were together. My brain...my brain doesn't work right,"
he said miserably.

"You've had a rough beginning, Jack", she said gently, walking over to him. "Your actual parents, your foster parents...the hellish group
homes...how could you be expected to form a concept of what a healthy relationship looks like? You've never been shown ,
and neither have I. My road has been long and filled with potholes and dysfunction, but all of that had to happen for me to arrive HERE-
where I am today. A relationship, a healthy marriage is work: more work than I ever imagined!", she grinned. "All of those years being
single to suddenly accountable to someone...BIG ADJUSTMENT. Trust me on this: if Maya and I can do it, so can YOU.
Trust in how you feel about Inara...let your guard down and try not to be afraid of rejection. LET YOURSELF LOVE, John Gibson."

Janet Jackson-Again©

How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again

A wounded heart you gave
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many
I know you did

I come from a place that hurts
And God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
never fall again

Chapter Text

Steve Winwood-My Love's Leaving©

I can't believe she's going
I said please show me
What selfish seeds I plant along the way
Black harvest today

The empty bed she left me, cold on one side
Can't believe, only me
Shadows in purple thrill me
I cry myself awake each night
I can't believe that it's true
Here I am, where are you

Can I cope with today
My love is leavin' me
Still I'm hoping she'll stay
My love is leavin' me

He surely must be dreaming...they have TBD (their newborn daughter) and things have been good...really good. JJ actually
shocked him with how quickly she took to motherhood: the baby is thriving and JJ seemed genuinely happy. And now THIS:

"Listen really carefully to me now 'T': I promise you will get a proper name soon, it's just that my 'method' is to wait for the...
INSPIRATION to hit me, so to speak...a great name will occur to me and I'll run it past your Daddy. The thing is, Bubby Spit...
if I stay I'll ruin everything; I'll ruin you, and Daddy...and I refuse to do that. I torch everything I touch-not that I mean to, it just
seems to work out that way. And I don't mean only sometimes: I mean ALWAYS. You are so sweet, and gorgeous, and GOOD...I
won't be the type of Mom to you that you deserve, and believe me I'm doing you a big favor. It doesn't seem like it at this moment
but it's because I love you that I'm leaving. Your dad will do his absolute best for you, I know that. I hope that you won't hate me-
please don't hate me-you'll see one day that this is for the best. I love you, and I love your Daddy...I'm just flawed
I guess; my brain isn't wired right and I always do the wrong thing for some reason...I stay when I should leave, or leave when I
should stay...one regret that I DO NOT HAVE is giving birth to you." She stood and walked over to Dean, handing the baby to him.
He heard the entire monologue, as she intended him to.

"You're WRONG, 'J'...stay here with us-those predictions don't have to be...we can change our story..."

" I CAN'T , Dean..I know myself, Babe. I haven't ever not driven off of the cliff. I'll break her, and YOU and you'll both
despise me because I KNEW it would happen and stayed anyway. I love you both but I'm leaving." At the door, she turned and said
"Give her a nice name-something Nigerian : . Your parents will love that. And something Chinese for my parents.
'Bye Dean."

" JJ ! WAIT...WA-ITT!!"

He calls her non-stop for the next three hours: She never answered...

Chapter Text

Well...another 'happy customer' Vic can chalk write in permanent ink on her Relationship Leader Board ...and true
to form, Mayhorn did not take the news that his time as a 'man blanket' has come to an end. "YOU said that we weren't exclusive, so
it can't be about other women...I don't disrespect you, or 'cling;'...I just wanna know WHY...why the sudden brush off?" he'd insisted.

She responded that his knowing the reason for their ending wouldn't change a thing. He pressed, and she finally (in frustration) blurted "I
met a man, someone I think might be 'the guy', OK Mayhorn? That's all I wanna say about that because I'd like us to stay friends."

"I was kinda falling for you, Hughes. I thank that I was. But...it's cool-I'M cool. If you found someone special, good for you."

"Thanks. See 'ya, Mayhorn."

whipappealwhipappealwhipappealwhipappealwhipappealwhipappealwhipappeal

A Shift doesn't return to duty until 11 pm Thursday (it's fourteen minutes after noon on Tuesday), she has Lucas Ripley's POV (Privately
Owned Vehicle-a midnight black Land Rover that he rarely drives) heading to Safeway on S. Rainier Ave for some 'eats.' Babyface is cued up
on the stereo and she exercises her local chords:

"...And no one does it like me; And no one but you...Has that kind of whip appeal on me

Keep on whippin' on me; Work it on me...Whip all your sweet sweet lovin' on me
Keep on whippin' on me-Work it on me
Whip all your sweet sweet lovin' on me..."

Grocery shopping complete, she stops by Kaminsky's to look in on her parents and get two bottles of wine-her Mom scolds her for
not 'taking care of my Lucas' ..."Przyjdź Victoria: wziąć trochę pierogies do męża." (Come, Victoria...take some pirogies to your husband).

Vic says "Dzięki mama bye tatuś!" (Thanks, Mommy-'bye Daddy!" She's home twenty minutes later, just as Andy and Robert come out the
front door, bundled against the afternoon chill. They cahy=t briefly before the couple take off, explaining that their twins are ready to be
retrieved from Pruitt and Elena's. Vis is em> HOME : where she feels safest, most at ease, and at peace. The home of the man who
she KNOWS is 'the guy' resides. They aren't 'out' yet, but as soon as he pushes through the policy changes he has planned (none of them
will have to hide then: Andy and Sullivan, nor the two of them). For now, she is happier than she's ever been. Lucas Ripley has that WHIP
APPEAL: 'sho 'nuff':

(Whatever you want (whatever you want babe)
It's alright with me (it's alright with me)
'Cause you've got that whip appeal
So work it on me
It's better than love
Sweet as can be
You've got that whip appealSo whip it on me (baby)

whipappealwhipappealwhipappealwhipappealwhipappealwhipappealwhipappeal

Chapter Text

* BATTALION CHIEF WALLACE BODEN *

"Listen up, '51'! The Mayor and City Council have reviewed a request from the Police Department to provide EMTS to
ride with them in the specific zones where PD is being targeted. Already five officers and detectives are DOA because of
delayed medical response-whoever is behind this calls in a medical emergency from a scene some distance away, then open-
up on responding patrols at a separate scene. AS you know there aren't enough medics in the CFD, and outside agencies have
been contacted. This list details where the currently approved EMTS will be assigned and on what shifts. Review the lists and
prepare to receive our visitors. Those who are from outside agencies need updates on our policies and procedures, and to
familiarize themselves with our house. That's all...evening briefing at 1800hrs."

* HENRIETTA WILSON ( 9-1-1) *

When the offer for not less than twenty-thousand dollars for a three-month tour (paramedics are being recruited to 'ride along'
with Chicago Police to provide immediate medical assistance when needed): she and her wife have bickered more and more lately,
and before they actually decide to legally separate this opportunity presented itself. Karen doesn't protest much, fully understanding
that the constant arguing is affecting their son Nathaniel negatively.

"Henrietta...just 'do you'. Why even consult me about it? What pisses me off is the insult to my FUCKING INTELLIGENCE: YES-I'm
aware that Eva has been accepted to that same venture, so PLEASE! Nathaniel and I will be fine; we'll miss you of course but we'll be
fine. YOU explain it to him. I'll probably take him to visit my sister in Seattle."

"She's, um...a therapist, right? Hell...I might for-go Chicago to tag along with my lil' family..."

"You KNOW that my twin is a former 'smoke jumper' turned psychologist. You go to CHI-TOWN."

"I really didn't know that EVA had certified as an EMT), much less to go to Chicago: I swear on our son.

In heaven's name why are you walking away
Hang on to your love
In heaven's name why do you play these games
Hang on to your love

* ANDREA 'ANDY' HERRERA (STATION 19) *

"I'm gonna go ahead and go to Chicago for a month, maybe two", she informs Robert one day after his shift ended (hers ended at
noon). "More time away from each other is less than optimal, especially NOW, with things being what they are, but...the city is so
dangerously short of EMTS. Also...THE MONEY: I'll be home for at least a year after the baby's born, and that windfall off-sets the
three-quarters pay while I'm on maternity leave, and after."

Robert examines her balefully, then says "You can admit that you don't want to be around me, Andy. Why should you be any different
than the rest of your 'family'; I mean THEY are who you owe your allegiance to. Why bother asking me; just 'do you', as you have been."

"I don't want to fight with you, Robert. We could both use a break from circling one another like feral cats, and I researched the cost
of childbirth these days...we could use that money, and I'm asking you because you're MY HUSBAND. And I'M TRYING...I slept in your
bed last night, didn't I? I want us to get past this, and I want some clarity on where WE go from here. I'm barely a month along, and in two
months not quite 90 days...it's EMT only, with PD in close proximity at all times."

"I'm tired; going to bed," is all that he said.

In heaven's name why are you walking away
Hang on to your love
In heaven's name why do you play these games
Hang on to your love

* EDDIE DIAZ (9-1-1) *

Bobby Nash carefully mulls over the news Eddie Diaz imparted less than two minutes ago. It isn't a "manpower" issue-there are plenty of
'probies' ready to step up, and qualified staff hungry for overtime...Captain Nash is concerned about Diaz' STATE OF MIND: since Emily Lopez
decided in favor of Luke Watkins instead of him in their ill-fated romantic triangle, Eddie has been somewhat distracted, a little...OFF...he
says to his Lieutenant "Be straight with me Eds...is this because of Emily?"

Without hesitation, Eddie answered, "Somewhat, Cap: yeah."

"You're not...what I mean is..."

  "NO, Bobby. No death wish. A change would do me good. Ana's looking to reunite after the Emily debacle, and...my mind's in a funny place.
I cared about her-CARE about her; not sure how I feel about Em...I need to get out of LA."

"There are 90-day rotations; if you return sooner I can update the paperwork...one thing though: you haven't told Christopher yet?"

"I needed your approval first."

"C'mon, Man." Bobby scratches his signature in the appropriate space. "Don't get lost in Chi-town, Ranger."

* LUCAS RIPLEY (STATION 19) *

Form by form he reviews the requests from within SFD to join the Chicago PD ride-alongs: most are from single members signing up for
the 90-day tours; the others are for lesser terms...the one titled ANDREA HERRERA SULLIVAN is for two months, subject to change...the
Chief speed-dials his best friend, immediately asking "SUL-what is this from your wife, Man? CHICAGO , is this the
right time for another separation after the 90-day trial, and the break-up earlier this year?", when Robert Sullivan answers.

"It's handled, Rip-thanks. Things haven't been good, lately, and I sense that we're heading for...I don't even wanna think about it...
this gives us a chance to BREATHE, to take stock...at least she slept upstairs last night, and I saw some of her toiletries in the master
bath awhile ago...

Ripley asks "And why are you whispering?"

"I'm in our bedroom, changing from my work-out..."

Stirring, but with her eyes still closed, Andy murmured "Hoosdat, Babe?", sleepily.

"Battalion", he lied, then stepped out of the bedroom when she muttered "M'kay", and turned over.

"It's handled, Rip," he repeated in a lower tone of voice. "I think it's a good move, and she DID at least ask me."

"So...approve it?"

"Yeah. Please."

Gotta stick together
Hand in glove
Hold tight, don't fight
Hang on to your love

Chapter Text

Central Texas in August is unbelievably HOT...there was some humidity in the air, but that was to be expected,
there is a slight breeze, thanks to the Greenbelt and it felt GOOD against my tingling skin. Trey will be ready or
round three soon and I intend to be ready for him. I knew he was coming tonight. The anticipation alone was
almost enough to send shivers through me, despite the heat. After rounds one and two, how in THE WORLD can
it get any better?

I couldn't possibly imagine it getting any better. His touch was like fire leaving his fingertips and piercing my skin.
His dark eyes could set my soul on fire. The wisdom and depth they held told a thousand stories. I met him overseas,
and My heart was pounding, waiting, almost leaving me breathless. Every time I thought of him, I would get a quiver iny
stomach. How could one kiss set me on fire like that? My hand instinctively rose to touch my lips. It was as if just touch-
ing them brought him back. I licked them in hopes of tasting him one more time. My teeth played with my bottom lip,
while my tongue made little, almost imaginary circles. Oh, where that mouth had been and the things it had done. I feel
like a schoolgirl!!

Now he guided me onto my side, in a sort of 'spoon'; I hook one arm over his shoulder and neck so that his teeth can
freely tease my nipples even as the walnut-sized tip of his member splits my wet, nearly hairless folds. It took less than
a minute for us to regain our rhythm; Trey is really big down there, and yes we've been lovers for fours years I'm almost
always sore the next day...his hands are gentle but firm on my hips (he LOVES my HIPS!) and his thighs connecting with
my ass makes it bounce and shake-I KNOW HIM-he's watching it!! His magic fingers tease my aching clit, still hard at
work behind me...I whine when he abruptly pulls out of me, and am quickly placated when he placed gentle kisses
from my ankles to my knees to my thighs and FINALLY..."OOOOH!" I moan (more like BLEAT?) when he parted my legs
and covered my entire pubic mound with his mouth! Yet another reason why I love him: he doesn't particularly enjoy
this act and yet he DOES IT enthusiastically, causing waves of desire through my body. That is but one of the ways he
how he proves his devotion...his tongue traced around my clit, making each pass more intense than the last. When he
he, at last, sucked my clit fully into his mouth I came in spasms. After cleaning my thighs we kissed as he re-entered
me and pumped me hard until we both came profusely.

It isn't just the criminally good sex (I may have to arrest him!) he provides-he watched my back for three years in Iraq
and Afghanistan, which is where we met and fell in love. He proved more than once that he'd die to save me if he had to
he protected me: he protects me still. There is no other man for me-THERE NEVER WILL BE...

Tu no losabes, Mi amor-ESTOY OBSESIONADA

"You love me without fear...you trust me without questions. You need me without demands, you want me with no
restrictions...Because you accept me without expecting me to change and love me for who I am: I AM YOURS FOREVER-
PARA SIEMPRE.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When you find a love (to your love)
Don't let it walk away
When you find your love (to your love)
You've got to make it stay (hang on)

Hang on to your love
Don't let it walk away
When you find your love
Got to make him stay