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2022-02-23
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My ascian Journey

Chapter 23: Spirit baby and pregnancy (Feb 2022)

Summary:

here i meet the child from Elidbus and me.
for more chapters check my twitter bio and click on the link, scroll down for older chapters like these.

Chapter Text

I feel like being the first one to write about this. Or I cannot search properly on Google. I think the latter, anyway…..

All I get is spiritual awakening and when a soul enters the body if I search on the internet. Only 1 question related to this I found on Quora. Questioning about spiritual pregnancy without a physical partner. One of those answers was, "Yes, it's possible, but the offspring would be spiritual too," i.o.w Soul only. WELL DUH! Though I am happy, I found more or less confirmation, but sadly no symptoms were mentioned, which I will be writing about. I will, however, verify this occurrence with John when another session is needed…

Very early in my relationship with Elidibus, I already had the urge to make spirit babies with him. He got extremely turned on when I said "Unsundered Ascian babies,"  even though for as long as I thought I was just a desired thing of a mortal brain. But I guess there was more at hand.

 Though, when I told my ex about this about my spirit baby, he mentioned he read a story long ago (and sadly can't find it back) about a woman who was spiritually pregnant with a new soul (after sex with a ghost). She had pregnancy symptoms and eventually gave birth, but nothing could be seen. And Honestly, I had the same, just not so extreme, because I thought it was just desires and my mind faking it/playing tricks on me and the possibility of a fake pregnancy. If I go through my monthly cycle, there were only 10 days that I wasn’t busy with it, which were 4–5 days included in my period. Then it started all over again, wanting to carry a child of the Emissary. This lasted until August 2021, iirc. (* reads back august*) yeah, Aug 4th, 2021, was the last time I was busy with kids with him. But perhaps the ear ringing was to say, "We already got one/ you are already pregnant” instead…………….

After every sex attempt of Elidibus being turned on with "Ascian babies," it felt he was really going for it, although I knew It didn't work anyway. But I guess I was wrong. After the sex, I often held my hand on my belly as if I was impregnated. And yes, I can feel his sperm as a wave of energy entering my womb.

In early 2021, this desire was so present I had the urge to breastfeed a baby, his baby, ours….so I like role-played with the baby Eli plushie, pretending it was our son instead, …. “son”……typical lol. It even triggered an echo vision later in March. Not sure if it had any relevance. This breastfeeding urge lasted until about May or early June, iirc. Yes, I think I stopped with it when he left for so long. I noticed another spirit was taking advantage of it to misuse the plushie. It felt that way, though. And somehow, it kept me awake instead of falling asleep, so I had multiple reasons to stop with it.

So let's sum up some symptoms.

  • the desire to be pregnant even if you are certain you don’t want anymore, living physical ones, I mean.
  • you look up on the internet if it is possible to get pregnant with a ghost or create newborn souls known as spirit babies.
  • after most intensive soul sex, automatically placing your hand on your belly indicates you are (getting) pregnant.
  • the desire to breastfeed a baby
  • waiting every month until “hopefully” you skip your period, which never happens, you still get your period. Only to be disappointed when your period hits, knowing full well it doesn’t work that way. I mean, I knew he couldn’t get me physically pregnant anyway.
  • 2/3 of the month, you are busy in your head with spirit babies.
  • you talk about possibilities with your spirit partner and how to get pregnant with him anyway.
  • when you get a sudden urge to give birth somehow, it might actually happen. I had no pain, but the urge to press it out was there.
  • months later, you meet your spirit baby in a dream.

These last 2 points I will give extra info about. I didn't bother to write down the date of such an event. It was short and painless, but the pressure to press it out of your body was clearly present, but alas, I didn't directly link it to actually giving birth, to begin with! But if you already have a child, you will recognize the feeling but without pain.

I believe it was in September, but ​ when I asked about it, he was already born before September. You see, what I didn't write about in the September dreams was my dream about giving birth to twins on Sept 18th.

I dreamed about having twins, a boy and a girl. My ex, who I still live with, was there too, but not sure if he was the father or Elidibus. It was in a hospital. The boy wanted to be fed and smacked my boob while he said boo, boo. My ex was clumsy in the dream, like forgot to hold the head and such. Some diaper change was there, too, for the girl. But when we were finished, the diaper was full again. When I saw the babies, I believe 1 had white hair and the other very light blond. Not sure. iirc. Indicating Eli would have used my ex as a host. But I knew this couldn't be done in the waking world. This is possibly the second reason I didn't write it down. Because I already dismissed the option. And thus saw it more as a sign or message where you can look up the meaning of it than real spirit babies. These are all the details I was able to find back/remember.

Before I go to the months later and meet our spirit baby on Feb 1st

I want to share some info I found on Quora

Can souls give spiritual birth to other souls, or only God can create new souls?”

“This is a great question. To the best of my understanding, only the source creates new souls. Actually, it’s quite a delicate process, from what I have read. There is a special group of souls that assist in the (for lack of a better word) “birthing” process. We don’t know about the souls who are above the “nursing” souls who assist in bringing the new souls into consciousness, as they are non-incarnating souls who have never been interviewed. Even the nursing souls have never met them. I get the impression the area that hands off the unborn souls to the birthing souls is off-limits.

Imagine a glowing, pulsating globular ball of energy. It is protected by a denser energy membrane. The nursing/birthing soul carefully pierces the membrane and opens it up enough, so the newborn soul can emerge. It floats upward and becomes aware of itself for the first time. Every one of these newborn souls is unique, and the only thing they know, at this point, is that they are. Besides that, they don't know a thing. The nursing souls care for and nurture them to help them become more aware. When they get to a certain point, they are assigned to a “post-birth” teacher and small group, which starts their orientation as to who and what they are.

What I have just shared with you is what I have read from Michael Newton’s books. He has interviewed over seven thousand patients, under deep hypnosis, regarding their experiences in past lives, their death experiences, their experiences in the afterlife and what they do between lives (I have a lot of interest in that area), and their experiences melding into new fetuses, and being born.

To me, a form of energy that becomes aware of itself is not only the greatest gift in existence but also one of the biggest mysteries of all.”

 

This was on the same page as where I once found the Eternal spirits can have soul babies info, Let me repeat that bit. Saves you from looking it up again.

A spirit (soul) cannot create new spirits of their own volition.

The Creator participates in the creation of all new spirits and could do so independently but has chosen to include certain spirits and the mortal lives they attach to in the process.

Eternal spirits are those that have chosen to be together for eternity; they are the equivalent of parents in the spirit world. Two spirits of a certain level of status (having concluded approximately half of their physical lifetimes) can request the Creator to be eternal spirits. It is not a role desired or sought by every spirit; fewer than one-third of all spirits have this function.

The creation of new spirits involves a process that includes the Creator and human conception when two eternal spirits have been destined to be together in their physical lifetimes. The newly created spirits then are guided to the spirit world, where they spend the equivalent of a decade or two being nurtured and trained before attaching to their first physical lifetime.

Eternal spirits, and their spiritual children, are the most enduring of relationships in the spirit world. The “parents” participate in the creation of as many spirits as they believe they are capable of nurturing and mentoring, which they will do virtually forever, but, as with human children, they will be more intensive when they are younger.

My sources are two spirits who spoke to me through another person (not channeled). To learn about my experience with them and more of what they revealed to me.”

 

With this in the back of my mind, when I met my spirit baby, I knew the membrane could have been in my womb all this time. I am still figuring this out and hope to learn more about how and when it happened soon.

2 days (Feb 3rd) after I met my beautiful son with white hair. I came across this on Quora

Before I copy-paste that, I will post what I saw before I had that dream

before I fell asleep and met my son. Right before falling asleep. I saw with my eyes closed my soul in multiple colors, but no details, only a silhouette of a woman her/my arm and hand moved to her/my belly, and the hand went inside and came out with an energy orb floating on her hand. Then I saw a second entity, where his robes were part of his soul. I didn’t see any details, but I did see the beak part of Eli's mask, though I thought he was smiling. He also held an orb that came from his body. And the 2 orbs merged. Then I fell asleep and met my son.

It could have been an echo vision that I wasn't aware of.

 

The dream:

So the dream started in a shopping street with my ex. I would apparently have a 2nd child from him.

But I would have preferred a 2nd one with Elidibus if it had to be done anyway. We talked about this for a while and later walked into a shop.

Our son and my mother were there too.

Suddenly, a Turkish man came to me and spoke to me. "come," he said.

Mom: Go with him. I think he wants something from you.

He hit me on my ass, but it was not sexually intended or anything. But more of a "hurry up" kind of thing.

I walked with him.

Man: he's here.

Me: huh, Elidibus is here???

Man: yes, up there somewhere.

He pointed to an attic-like room. He wanted to help me pass through a maze of fences.

Me: wait, I'll fly through it.

I flew up, bending racks to the side. And ended up somewhere in a room with rooms, and I searched for Eli.

Me: Eli, are you here???

No reaction. I looked around and saw a little boy with snow-white hair. He didn't even have all his teeth yet or was just changing.

Me: do you know where Elidibus is?

Boy: he's not here.

I don't remember what I asked then, but the ending did.

Me: Are you the son of Elidibus?

Boy: yes,

Me: and are you the son of mine?

Boy: yes,

Me: come here.

I hugged him.

Boy: how do I feel?

Me: nice and huggable. He laughed from what I could hear.

Then I woke up.

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Now the Quora question, I will “bold” the part that is the same as I saw.

Supposing reincarnation is true, where do new souls come from?

Answer by Richard Martini

“I asked this question in an interview with a spirit guide. And what I mean by that is I was filming someone under deep hypnosis (I've filmed 40 so far, and they all say relatively the same things). A hypnotherapist trained in Michael Newton's method ("Journey of Souls") asked the guide – "So how do souls come into existence?" and the guide's answer was this:

"Between lives, physics works on a different level outside this plane. Souls can come into existence anytime, all the time. The process is hard to describe, (he said) but goes something like this: Two photons of light (for lack of a better word) are put together. One might have some female energy, and the other might have some male energy. It varies. That newly formed soul is tended over by people who do that sort of thing. Their function is like midwives watching over children. And then the guides and loved ones may add bits of energy to those photons, building and adding to what this soul will become.

And then, at some point, that soul is ready to incarnate in some form, on some level, perhaps not on earth, but another playground. At that point, the soul is assigned a spirit guide. (Everyone has one, some have more than one, but basically, the spirit guide looks over all of that soul's lifetimes.) The guide may occasionally join the soul during an incarnation but, for the most part, remains an impartial guide and observer.

Together with the soul, the guide comes up with a plan for what the soul will experience. Think of a blank canvas. And each color represents a different lifetime. And then after many, many lifetimes, you might look at the canvas and say, "I need some more of this color or energy over here… and I think I need to work on some more of this energy over there…."

And at the end of all of your lifetimes, there's this magnificent portrait of a soul. And then, at that point, depending on if it's the kind of work the soul wants to go into, they "graduate" from that level. And their graduation gift, if you will, is a new soul.

So after all their lifetimes, they're going to look after all the lifetimes of this new soul, using all the knowledge and experience they've gathered. And the process continues. People graduate from a guide to a council member, and then council members have councils, etc. It keeps going up.

When this guide was asked, "So what happens to a soul once it gets through all of these journeys?" he said, "I don't know. It's above my pay grade." (quoted from "Flipside: A Tourist's Guide on Now to Navigate the Afterlife.")

As noted, "not all souls incarnate here on Earth." So what's in these reports is that people who "normally incarnate elsewhere" have been showing up here, and they've come for some particular reason. The reports claim that it's almost always had something to do with advancement or consciousness expansion. (In the 1990s, Michael Newton estimated that 10% of the cases he was seeing claimed to have "off-world" experience. In "It's a Wonderful Afterlife," the President of the Newton Institute said their data shows that 30% of their clients say that they "normally incarnate elsewhere" or have some experience doing so.

That means either more people that have off-world experience are finding a way to a hypnotherapist's office, or more people are reading up on the topic and seeking out answers to why that might be – but I'm just reporting the data.”

 

So, in short, I saw the same thing happening! With myself and Elidibus! This was a very big confirmation that what I saw was real.

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Other things on Feb 1st

So I can feel presences in my dreams now that are touching me, that are actually in my RL room. In the dream, it wasn't sure it was Elidibus. Also, the invisible entity spoke too much Dutch.

Elidibus can understand fully and speaks a little bit of my own language. But I believe not as much as that. He prefers English.

When I woke up, I felt the same presence touching me. It wasn't Elidibus nor my spirit guide. I told it to fuck off by making my eyes look fierce, and it backed off a bit only. So I poked the body pillow and said, "Hey, bed buddy, I need your help for a change, help to get rid of this entity." And he gladly helped. Afterward, the guide hugged me. And for the first time ever, I distinguished the difference in energies touching me.

Sometime later that day, I searched for some stock photos of toddlers where our son looked the most at.

Me: he looked a bit like this, but then snow-white hair. And blue stripes on his shirt instead of gray.

quilitus

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Dm’s with Jezzah

Me: Jezzzzzaaaahhhhh!. I already have a kid with Eli, so please read the dream.

Jezzah: Remember when I told you I had dreams about Emet and me having twins???

Me: no?

Jezzah: It was a while ago, back in the old group. I would have many dreams of being pregnant and having Emet's offspring. Twins.

Me: That you were pregnant, I knew that. But I don't recall having twins? Anyway, read the dream.

Jezzah: I did. I came to tell you I have the same feelings about your dream as mine.

Me: which is it?

Jezzah: It's legit. It's a future that's waiting for us on Etheirys.

Me: Omg, I'm squeaking so hard here ahhhhhh XD.

Jezzah: I seriously need to reconnect with Emet. I feel he has been busy and distant for a while. Emet and I are going to have twins. It's the Gemini energy.

Me: nice

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On Feb 2nd, I asked my HS some questions regarding our son.

That little boy in the dream who said he was the son of Elidibus and me. Is this true?: Yes

Does he already exist as a soul?: Yes

Will I give birth to our son In this life on earth?: No

Or when I leave this life and go back home?: Yes.

It's up to me to choose whether to reincarnate or grab a host body. As discussed, we both get a host. Then we will have our child physically and with that precious soul.

Me: Elidibus was a workaholic again. Though, when he returns from a big job, he must do it by the 16th. He will visit me for the entire day on the 17th. I also gained info about our son, ahhhhhhh XD. But it is clear it's a spirit baby. As I asked if spirit babies depict themselves as toddlers, I gained a big fat yes. I will have a life on Etheirys after this one. It was for me to decide if I wanted to reincarnate or grab a host. I said a host (to keep my memories) and mold it into my own image, and he would do the same. Then our child will come physically to life, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Also, something else. Recently I have been time traveling a lot in my dreams, and I hope to go back 1 day and see the final days in full color. As horrifying as it may be. Or perhaps the sundering and see how the unsundered were saved or something. Just anything from that era would be awesome.

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Feb 3rd

Zio: That's amazing! Congratulations on a beautiful boy

Me: :D

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On Feb 4th, I believed I gained a connection with Elidibus, but it was my male spirit guide which I called "bed buddy" That name is not in the way you are thinking. He helped me sleep often. And for as long he didn't sexually harass me, he was allowed to stay, but he fucked it up. He tricked me by imitating Elidibus and answered the verification questions in what Elidibus would answer. Sadly, I fell for it. And I even had sex with this one. When I asked him if we had a son. I gain a "no."

I was like, “What?!” “Are you bed buddy?!” and gained a yes.

I became so fucking angry at him, despised him terribly, and felt that he was a disgrace to all of his kind. I told him to leave me alone forever and that I rather have no one around me than be with him. He left and never returned (thank god).

Quickly after, I gained a very honest female spirit guide in return, and she pledged to be honest with me. (and thus far, I am very satisfied. She lets me know if Elidibus is there or not when he promises to visit by pulling my ass downwards (a "no" answer normally), but with more intention/force, so it's clear he is there).

But yeah, on Feb 6th, I contacted my HS again and asked if what happened was true, and sadly it is. But the rest of the questions I will do later. Since some other things happened first.

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On Feb 5th, I researched my Higher selves name, "Ayantano," and what it could mean. I never thought it actually would have Azem references.

what does ayantano mean

 

Me: Ayan – shepherd.

Ayantano – travel

Describes Azem in a nutshell. No explanation is needed.

What if Tano is written as Thano instead:

Me: Ayantano = Eternal Traveling Shepherd?

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Feb 6th

Ok so, I asked my spirit guide if she could contact the baby's soul nanny. (I call it a nanny for now, for lack of a better term). And she was able to.

My follow-up question was if my son could visit me and, if so, take place in my womb area.

And that happened. I really could feel a small entity entering my womb.

Though I will verify this later, I hardly had any doubts about this.

I asked him what his sensation would be for yes and no answers.

Yes, it is like a tickle or touch at my womb opening XD (it feels this way). And a no is like a small muscle tension at my hip.

I got him the second time now at the moment of writing this. It's truly a beautiful experience.

I asked him if he would like to come over every evening when I meditate. So far, he seems to be enthusiastic.

He can't stay the entire day, which is ok. He is being taught by the caretakers (until he is fully grown as a soul) About life in a physical body.

Also, to develop other skills that I can't teach, lol.

As far as I could ask. Elidibus visits him regularly. But the little one also misses him a bit when Eli is away.

I asked many other things. It seems he was born in August. I need to check what I wrote before here in Discord, though. (this, however, was a week earlier in July, I think he was told the date in August when he came to consciousness)

And I asked if he could come over the entire day on the 17th when Elidibus will be here too. He loves it too. And I am certain he will come, the little one, and Eli too. He has to know though lol.

So later, I said to needed to get out of bed and asked if that was ok.

I believe I received a hugging sensation from the inside, and then I felt some energy leaving my womb through the birth canal.

I believe he hovered above me for a few seconds before he left. I was able to say, "I will see you tonight."

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Later that day, I asked my HS and Elidibus some questions about today and the past few days.

I asked the new female spirit guide to pick up my astral son and bring it to me. Well, see if she could do that first, and if it could, then let my son go to me in my womb. The spirit nanny (that's what I call it)Would have brought him. But is this true?: Yes

Wasn't this my imagination? no

Or was it another entity pretending to be my child? no

On Feb 4th, in the night, while meditating, I thought I had connected with Elidibus through my bed buddy. Is this true? Or hugely answered in my favor? I later got the answer that it was bed buddy. Is this true?; Yes

Was it him the whole time? Yes

Did I have sex with him? Yes

Have all questions about the child been asked by me and Elidibus to Bed buddy? yes

If yes: How about having a 2nd child on Nov 4th during the bond anniversary. Was that bed buddy too? Yes

If yes, why did he answer that? Did he go along with what I hoped Elidibus would say? Yes

If yes: have all questions been answered by bed buddy? Yes

Ask the real Elidibus when our child was conceived (created in this case).

If possible, on the day off, so the exact date: Mar 14th, 2021

How long does a soul pregnancy last?; 4.5 months

And when the soul of our child is born/came to consciousness. Exact date if possible. Jul 28th, 2021

Ask if Elidibus wants a 2nd one later;  Yes.

If yes, ask when, because this time, I want to experience the pregnancy consciously; Nov 29th, 2022

Does Elidibus receive my love for him whenever I am busy with it? Like kissing and hugging the body pillow despite the distance of where he is? no

Why can't I receive anything anymore? I try, and I try, but I get nothing but imposters, well, bed buddy lately. I hope he's gone now. But why can't I receive Elidibus's replies anymore like I used to?

Please imprint the answer in my soul and mind.

Sadly, I don’t get an answer to this yet.

I must note that the dates given about our son can be just random dates. If I go to John again, I will ask when the soul is created and born. But I don't have any connection problems for now, so I won't go either. Though I must say I never received a different answer, I asked the dates multiple times, and they have stayed the same thus far.

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Some DMs with Zeke

I told Zeke as soon as it happened about the son of Elidibus and me but gained a reply on the 6th

Zeke: Hello, Congratulations on your second son, also. o/

The rest of the conversation happened days later but is not really relevant.

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Feb 8th

About a week ago. I noticed 5:55 on the clock in the car.

It's an angel number that stands for a big change. " The 555 angel number meaning is that significant change is imminent. Change is a part of life, and when we see the number 555, something tells you that a transition is in your life and all around you."

But I also came across this.

Angel number 555: 

The meaning of angel number 555 manifests in the connection of soulmates, no matter if they get to meet in their life or not. Their strong romantic and intimate bond is what the guardian angels are trying to enhance and lead you towards. So, we can say that it is a symbol of pure love and deep soul bonding. 28 Nov 2021

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Feb 9th

Saw 1111 on the clock when my astral son went back to his caretaker,

guided back with my spirit guide.

Meanings of 1111

https://www.yummymummykitchen.com/2021/10/1111-meaning.html

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Feb 10th

So I ask my bird (Griffo), "Are you made from aether?"

Griffo: yes!

------------------------------

Feb 11th

https://twitter.com/tamaffxiv/status/1491808174164172807

I quite literally read this with Venat's voice.

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Another final day's dream. In combination with a war that broke loose. Yesterday as well (aside from the war)

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Feb 13th

so I'm in EW with my alt, and when I saw Venat on the boat again. I turned somehow slightly emotional ;-;

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Feb 16th

I think I found an answer to how the WoL got to the past on the Real Etheirys. Hydaelyn/Venat did that.

   

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Feb 18th

I can at least say that after kicking out a male spirit guide who misused me (yes, they can do that), I gained a female one in return that behaves very well. I appreciate it. I feel safer now. And she helped me to let me know that Elidibus arrived yesterday. As I gave her instructions on how to let me know.

She goes aside fully when Eli is there. And when I think Eli is there while he isn't, I get a no answer from her.

She is very honest, and I hope it will forever remain this way. And I gave her the name Linala, after that girl I met in a Phase dream in June 2021, and she likes it.

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Feb 20th

Well, I was right on Emet-selch length with only 1 cm off.

Credit to the one who made it: https://twitter.com/Cris_Aither/status/1495337942973562880

I realized just now they are wearing shoes. If those are thin soles, then 599 is still correct, lol.

And even though I never said it. But I already thought they would go to 610 cm or even 615, but not taller. I never checked that Hermes was taller than Emet, though.

(May 3rd, 2023 update: Lahabrea... cough...)

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Feb 21st

I asked these questions to Elidibus and my higher self later on.

Are the face glyphs magic limiters that prevent them from burning through their own soul: No

 

Can the ancients burn through their own souls when using too strong magic and thus destroy their souls: No

 

Are the face glyphs used to identify you: No

Are the unsundered saved from the sundering by going into the rift: Yes

 

Does it take sex to make a new soul? no

 

I never had sex with Eli in March 2021 until 30 or 31 of March.

Is Mar 14th correct that his child was conceived? Yes

 

As I saw (before I had our son's dream), is it enough to make a new one? So that was 2 energy Orbs to fuse. Yes

 

So is this going to merge completely with or with

out?: Without our souls melting together.

 

But with energy orbs: yes

Can it also be done with penetration? Yes

So the kind of sex I have with Eli. Yes

 

Just melting those energy orbs together is enough, and the rest is additional. That is what it comes down to.

 

Our 2nd child will be on Nov 29th with having sex.

Yes, with sex for pleasure for both of us.

 

Is Eli coming by on Feb 28th?

At 10:42, yes, and until 13:21 (the time he left, I asked when he was there)

 

When will he come again, even if it's just for a few hours?

Mar 3rd 10:45 a few hours until 13:29

Mar 10th 10:34 a few hours 13:35

Mar 13th 10:44, left at 14:00

 

I got a huge agenda for up to halfway through May when he comes over.

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Feb 22nd

Oh, F'ing god. What I yelled in a dream:

“I want to be pregnant (pause, realized wtf I was saying) from Elidibus only! “

Feel free to find this funny. Because it's true, lol. Hopefully, I can fully experience a spiritual pregnancy when it allows.

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22-02-2022

Tomorrow's date symbolizes that the human race is ready to attain spiritual wisdom. We are ready to move to a higher level in our evolution as a human race.

Numerological value is 4+4+4=12=3 which is the holy trinity and the number for perfection.

We are ready to enter a time where we can live in our highest state of awareness and purity on Earth.

 

100% old soul here, lol

also interesting about the eyes https://www.michaelteachings.com/soul_age_index.html

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I just did this guided meditation https://youtu.be/AGVKKmVCoC8

I recommend it. At some point, I saw very close a face resembling Titania. Very clear, like dreaming. But it disappeared quickly after.

Later, my body shocked itself, quite literally, but went into a trance back again soon after.

Maybe It's because this meditation is so good, or that's 22022022 today

Or both.

A bit more curly hair and the eye was more open, aimed at me. That's what I saw.

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Feb 25th

Got Eli over the entire day. 2h left before he needs to go.

Going to spend those few hours well.

So the last 1,5h of him being here was occupied with sex (and he didn't mind my ex joining it for a short while). And some emotional after-talk. When I said something about that, I didn't want to wait so long again for him to visit me. I didn't have the intention of crying at all. But I burst out in tears. These were his tears. He feels so sorry that he is so busy and absolutely does want to be with me more. He feels so guilty when he can't. I offered him to take me with him when my body was asleep if he found time to do so, and I would remember something of it like a dream. He liked the idea. But this isn't the first time I asked this. It happened only once in September when he brought me to his work or whatever he was doing.

I really hope he is going to try it.

Also, I asked if he or his colleagues could trigger a dream for me that I would see my real face glyph in such detail that I could draw it immediately when I woke up.

When he needed to leave, he didn't want to go. And he cried, and I could feel his pain in my chest. And I cried, too, as a result. It was very hard to say goodbye this time. I asked if he would remain connected with me when he left, and he said he would. But I rather, out of self-protection, wanted him to reconnect with me the next day instead, so no other entity could misuse the connection I had with him for the rest of this evening. He understood.

When he left after a goodbye kiss. I was somehow heartbroken, missing him big time. My spirit guide came to console me, and I asked her if he left, and he did.

But I burst out in tears. I gained a spontaneous reaction from him telepathically. Which I adore absolutely. After a quick verification, it was him indeed. I thanked him for connecting with me again from his workplace, and he said again to reconnect tomorrow with me. I can only hope it works......

Sadly, it seems it didn't work. Otherwise, I would have notified it.

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Feb 28th

I don't know how I came to the subject, but I asked if Elidibus knew anything about the ancient female body.

Well, he does because of the number of sisters he had.

A period cycle was about 2 months. (57–60 days)

Bleeding 9 to 12 days.

And sex was legal/accepted at the age of 13.

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So I asked Eli to let our son come over, and that happened. I let him take place in the womb to communicate with our son. After greeting and giving my son some appraisal, I came to the idea if it is possible to recreate the sensation of giving birth to a soul. And so that happened. It is really like a painless birth. It did feel like my womb was sorta opening, but that was the spiritual variant. And my son came out to attend the process for the experience. He felt like a ball or orb, perhaps. Afterward, I let my son go back home to his nanny. According to Eli, he was happy to come over.

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Dreams of February

Feb 10th

the dream was originally quite long but contained too many personal things initially. So I do the ending alone.

In this dream, halfway somewhere, my character from FFXIV was also in the dream. She was somewhere, but I didn't see her until the end.

When I finally spoke to her, I said, "Go quickly. There is something wrong with the Aether and Dynamis! Separate them if needed."

Then it was necessary to break free from the dream. i.o.w becoming lucid. I tried to escape. I tried to get higher and higher, but every time an obstacle came over my head.

Determined, I kept looking for a way out. Eventually, I found a passage that was covered with bushes, and I put it aside.

Me: ah, a residential area I can leave.

And sure enough, I flew down the street and then up into the sky without worry.

I flew over gigantic houses and a gigantic climbing frame (ancient size). Very nice unique houses. My character had separated the planet with a tool into 2 parallel versions. 1 from Aether (blue) and 1 from Dynamis (orange) to stop the chaos.

Me: I'm going to see how things are going.

I flew onto a device on the coast. My character was there, and she activated it. You saw a hologram appear of what happened, and the 2 parallels went together again.

Me: oh no, breaking up gone fine, but bring it back together again -

I flew down to the ground. The hologram had gone on the tiles and become real. It was a kind of decoration that glowed, but not positively.

Me: - causing the final days! (FD)

the sky turned orange with fire.

Me: This will happen in the game, isn't it?! Another FD?

I flew up

I tried to warn everyone from above but was constantly attacked by meteors.

Me: warn everyone, the final days are back!

After yelling a few times and having trouble avoiding the meteorites, I came up with something.

Me: this has got to stop, Zodiark?? But who should sacrifice himself then? Me? no, …. Elidibus!!!!!!!

I screamed his name with everything I had and then woke up.

 

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Feb 11th

so I was cycling with my mother at night. We went to a random house for shelter. My sisters were there too. After being there for a while, it was announced that war had broken out in another country next to or close to ours (Belgium/France/Germany).

Later, the air alarm went off with us.

That gave the indication that it also affected us. My mother and one of my sisters stood on a high staircase to look through the skylight, and that was in the hallway.

Me: Mom! The air raid siren is going off. We have to keep everything shut.

Mom: no, come and see!

I climb up to see what she sees.

I saw the final days again. Meteors fell from the sky.

Me: no, no, no, no, ahhhhh

I grabbed my head with my hands and was losing my shit.

I cried out of memories of the FD

then I woke up.

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Feb 15th

I don't remember how I got to this point in the dream. But it looked like a past life event when I was still with Hades, only I was older here (or I was defector Azem here). Emet was only a shade of memory here, but I feel Hyth was the real one.

I first saw Hyth on an open lawn.

Me: Hyth!

He looked around. I wanted to kiss him to greet him on the mouth, but he didn’t want that.

Hyth: must you always kiss when you see someone?

Me: oh, just one

Hyth: no, ty. Hades will arrive shortly. You can kiss him instead.

Me: Fine

I believe he disappeared, and later in that same field, I yelled

Me: HYTH!!!

And he appeared again.

Me: there you are.

He appeared out of nothing. His hair was lighter purple and more purple than pinkish, and His eyes were also lighter.

I'm missing a piece here. I did some things with him and talked until Emet arrived. But it was more of a shade.

Emet kissed me and sat on top of me. I could feel the weight well. He was half invisible and really only saw a shadow.

Later he got off me and was gone. He would wait for me in a restaurant. I walked to it with Hyth. I was wearing a wide black dress, and I saw myself from above at the entrance. Only here, it became dream nonsense. Emet was now someone else, it seemed. Had a chainsaw and cut my dress smaller on the sides. Diagonally so from the front, it ran into a point. It was literally 3 angles from above.

Here it ended.

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And that was the February chapter of year 2022. I hope you like it!, for newer chapters check my weblog!