Work Text:
Question 1. (1 Point) True or False: Your Name is Danny Fenton
A. True
B. False
Question 2. (1 Point) Teenagers need on average 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night. How many hours do you sleep?
A. More than 8
B. Less than 8
C. …
D. You don’t remember the last time you slept in your bed
Question 3. (4 points) Jazz bought you a CAT Study Guide at the beginning of the school year because it was important to start preparing early. It’s been gathering dust for months now; you’ve been meaning to work on it but you just never found the time. You crack open the book to the math section.
The question is, as follows:
Two trains are driving toward one another. The first train leaves Town A at 6 am traveling at 60 miles per hour. The second train leaves Town B at 8 am traveling at 70 miles per hour. The distance between Town A and Town B is 455 miles. What is the EXACT time that the collision will occur?
A. Jazz lifts a finger in warning
B. Jazz winces
C. Drop your pencil; this is useless, there’s no point, because Jazz is brilliant and you are not and you are going to fail—
D. Maybe start looking for job openings at the NastyBurger
Question 4. (6 points) You hold in your hands the answer sheet to the CAT test. What do you do?
A. give it back; you are good and honest and cheating is wrong
B. you look inside; no one has to know but you
C. you look inside; you haven't had time to study. you haven't had time to do anything at all except protect this town from ghosts. Don't you deserve a little compensation? Something to make life easier for you?
D. You look inside; if you fail your future is over. NASA is already slipping out of your reach but if you fail this test then you could kiss your dreams goodbye. This is for your future. This is for your future
Question 5. (2 points) There are 42 secret herbs and spices in the Nasty Sauce that, if overheated, will combust. In the unlikely event that this happens, what is the estimated blast radius?
A. An entire city block
B. 200-300 ft
C. Both A and B
D. Enough to take away everything you cared about
Question 6. (2 points) Jazz once taught you that there are five stages of grief. Which one are you feeling right now?
A. Denial; no this can’t— this isn’t happening… how could—
B. Denial; You, Sam, and Tucker were supposed to hang out in the park tomorrow
C. Denial; Your parents said they were going to be working on the Boomerang
D. Denial; Jazz said she had something to tell you
Question 7. (4 points) True or False: This is all your fault
A. True
B. False
Question 8. (2 points) You are 14 years old and recently orphaned. The court has decided to appoint you a guardian. Who do they pick and why is it Vlad?
A. Vlad because he is his parents’ old friend and you guess that he counts as fictive kin now
B. Vlad because he is rich and powerful and has all the influence in the world
C. Vlad because Aunt Alicia was too isolated and too far and she said no—
D. Vlad because he was the only one who wanted you
Question 9. (10 points) Grief clings to your flesh and sinks deep within your bones. Who do you blame for this hurt?
A. The heart; it squeezes and aches and it won’t stop hurting . If the heart is where love resides then surely that must be where grief is too?
B. The amygdala; the heart is a pump, it feels nothing, but the amygdala is the part of the brain that deals with emotions like happiness and fear, and sadness.
C. The Ghost Portal; if it wasn’t for that stupid portal then the accident would have never happened and the ghosts wouldn’t have escaped. You would have lived a normal and boring life, playing video games, hanging out with friends, and studying for important, life-changing tests. The portal is the catalyst. The portal is at fault.
D. Phantom; you see, the framework of a ghost’s core lies in feeling. Tie in a strong enough will, the raging emotions that come with a violent death, and enough ectoplasm, and ta-da! A ghost! They’re such emotive creatures, you know? Almost cartoonish in their desires because feelings and emotions and want is all that they have to anchor them to this world. It’s almost like Tinkerbell, but instead of size being a factor, it’s their permanence that makes them so unstable that they can only feel one emotion at a time. You are half-ghost and half of you is hurting so, so much and it refuses to feel anything but hurt.
Question 10. (2 points) Vlad straps you down onto an operating table and places an anesthesia mask over your face. What do you do?
A. Count backward from 100, 99, 98, 97—
B. Close your eyes because when you open them this will all be over
C. 93, 92, 91, 90—
D. Scream because oh god oh god this hurts you feel like you’re being ripped in two and—
Question 11. (2 points) Who or what are you?
A. Da…nny?
B. Phantom
C. …. not whole…
D. Betrayed
Question 12. (2 points) A half cannot exist by itself. You have never existed by yourself. You are fading fast. What do you do to make yourself whole again?
A. Rip the gauntlets off from your chest
B. Bury yourself in your human skin. Carve a place deep enough so that your human self can never rip you out again.
C. Don the gauntlets and take Vlad’s ghost half from him as well. If you cannot be whole then so can’t he .
D. Possess Plasmius. Sink your teeth into his core and eat away at every bit of energy he has. If you cannot exist as a half then you will make yourself whole
[Addendum: An error in the test has been found. Please cross out Answer Choice B as it is not a viable answer.]
Question 13. (2 points) True or False: Danny is a variant of the name Daniel which means “God is My Judge.” A hero and a child and a traitor. Is this you?
A. True
B.False
Question 14. (2 points) True or False: Vlad is a variant of the name Vladimir, composed of the Slavic for “to rule” and “great.” A lonely man, a powerful man, he will carve his place into the world through hell or high water. Is this you?
A. True
B. False
Question 15. (8 points) Two halves can make a whole, but two minds cannot coexist as one. Who do you pick?
A. Danny; You have been Danny longer than you have been anyone else and you do not know how to be anyone else but him.
B. Vlad; You hate him. He is you. Half of you.
C. Both; people are but reflections of the world around them, a patchwork of other people’s influence on their lives. You are Danny but you are also Vlad.
D. Both; you hate them both and they are both you. You will take the worst facets of themselves and turn it on the world because it stood still and watched as it let you become this abomination.
Question 16. (2 points) Daniel comes from the word “Dan” meaning “Judgment” and “el” which refers to “God.” Even if it was an accident, you were created in Danny’s image. Now that you and he are split in two, all you are left with is “Judgment.” Circle all who are guilty.
A. Vlad, who tore you from yourself
B. Danny, who discarded you like you were nothing
C. Everyone, because there is no such thing as innocence
D. …Yourself
Read the following poem and answer the next question:
Fire and Ice
By Robert Frost
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Question 17. (1 point) You no longer have any humanity to tie you down. How do you want the world to end?
A. Fire
B. Ice
C. It doesn’t matter
D. As long as it goes down screaming