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Published:
2022-01-30
Updated:
2022-10-02
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9/?
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Forbidden Chats

Chapter 9: Drama Brought To You By The Disaster Lineage

Notes:

Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait, the last couple months have been busy and super stressful (but you probably don't want to hear about that). Anyway, enjoy this long awaited chapter.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

JEDI ORDER CHAT

|9999+ Members - 1% Active Comm|

|Controls - Buzz Kill|

|No Cursing Or Incorrect Grammar|

Most Dramatic: Has anyone else ever had the weirdest dream that seems so realistic and accurate that before you wake up, you believe it to be reality

Read More Books: That's how all dreams work Averross

Jinx Again: I once had a dream where I was a drop of water

Sane Padawan: And how did it end?

Jinx Again: Someone drank me

Red And Black: And I once had a dream where everybody shut up and went back to sleep!

Baby Of The Disaster: Well... someone's grumpy

Baby Mundi: When is she not?

Reading The Past: Brutal

Purple Wookie: Cal go back to sleep

Mother Of The Order: All padawans go back to sleep

Sane Padawan: Do the masters have an alert to inform them of our activities?

Baby Of The Disaster: Master Billaba most definitely put one on Caleb's comm

Baby Of The Disaster: And I'm not resting until I find my master 

First Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: Who captured him this time?

Obliviously Idiotic: Hey!

Water Boy: The answer appears to be nobody

Obliviously Idiotic: ...Though ...that might be better than my current situation

Second Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: Please tell me that you are not planning on letting yourself get captured just to avoid your padawan?

Obliviously Idiotic: I would never dare to do something like that

Sane Member Of The Color Lineage: You would

Baby Mundi: Wait... what exactly is going on?

Baby Of The Disaster: Nothing important, Skyguy is just being a wimp

Reading The Past: Shots?

Obliviously Idiotic: No I'm not!

Obliviously Idiotic: You're trying to kill me!

Baby Of The Disaster: A wimmmmmmmp

Tendril One: That's still happening?

Killjoy: It's only been twelve hours

Tendril Two: To be fair, the Disaster Lineage rarely stay on the same task for more than an hour

Purple Wookie: You can't keep avoiding your shots, Cal

Jinx Again: Aww look, baby Cal is still scared of getting his shots

Reading The Past: Shut up

Baby Mundi: Gasp of horror, such language

Sane Padawan: Didn't you two idiots cry the last time you had your shots?

Female Quinlan: Wait, hold up, rewind

Female Quinlan: Why is Ahsoka trying to kill Skywalker? 

Baby Of The Disaster: 'Cause I feel like it

Younger Mirialan: Its because he hasn't had his episode yet

Baby Of The Disaster: Way to expose me

Female Quinlan: That still doesn't explain why she is actively trying to kill him

Tendril One: Does anyone in the Disaster Lineage have a brain?

Tendril Two: The answer is no

Baby Of The Disaster: The good rations ran out days ago, we're all extremely bored, and we're not allowed to leave this stupid planet until he has his episode!

Buzz Kill: For a good reason

Buzz Kill: Now everyone shut up!

Red And Black: Thank you

[Jinx Again has changed Red And Black's username to Grumpy]

Grumpy: ...Whatever

A Pirates Favorite: We are still allowed to be up, right?

I Adopt Everyone I Meet: No

Mother Of The Order: Great going Averross, you woke up the younglings

Drunken Yellow Mess: How do you turn off this stupid thing?

Drunken Yellow Mess: All these beeping noises are giving me a headache

Sane Member Of The Color Lineage: You're hungover

Buzz Kill: Whatever you do during night hours is up to you

Water Boy: You do realize that you are technically giving the Disaster Lineage permission to do whatever in Sith hells they want?

Grumpy: It would explain why all you idiots allow for Grandmaster Vos to get as drunk as he wants

Baby Of The Disaster: Yes!

Baby Of The Disaster: @Obliviously Idiotic ready or not here we come!

Buzz Kill: You're not allowed to kill Skywalker

Buzz Kill: Or physically hurt him in anyway

Baby Of The Disaster: And you wonder why we call you a buzz kill

Younger Mirialan: You probably should not being saying that to the Master of the Order

Head Of The Disaster: Called worse, he has

Buzz Kill: Yeah, by you and your entire lineage

Other Zabrak: I can hear his creepy laughter

Most Dramatic: Ever notice how they only ever call us by our last names when we do something they don't approve of?

Obliviously Idiotic: That's not true, they only ever call me by my last name

Baby Of The Disaster: ...Can I kill him?

Buzz Kill: No

Baby Of The Disaster: Boooooo

Female Quinlan: Wait, I just had a thought!

Tendril Two: Bravo, we knew you could do it!

Female Quinlan: Shut up

Female Quinlan: Is it possible that the Sith are behind the delay of Skywalker's episode?

Sane Padawan: Well... that is a scary thought

First Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: Then the Sith are more powerful than we feared

Original Zabrak: The simpler explanation is Force Suppressants

Second Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: ...Anakin does eat different rations than everybody else

Obliviously Idiotic: I do?

Mad Medic: You burn more calories than the average species' combined 

Mad Medic: Therefore we had to create a rations that have the nutrients you need in a small package

Younger Mirialan: It took eight months to make

Obliviously Idiotic: ...Thanks?

Other Zabrak: Which makes it all the more likely for Force Suppressants to be planted within his rations without anyone's knowledge

Killjoy: Impossible! 

Read More Books: We would know if someone was tampering with such a thing

Water Boy: And how many people have broken into the temple within the last three months?

Read More Books: ...Noted

Obliviously Idiotic: That would explain the headaches

Baby Of The Disaster: You don't drink

Drunken Yellow Mess: That I shall bring over my best liquor for you to consume!

First Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: ...

Second Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: ...

Older Mirialan: ...

Killjoy: ...

Other Zabrak: ...

Original Zabrak: ...

Sane Member Of The Color Lineage: Water

Sane Member Of The Color Lineage: She means water

Female Quinlan: Let us all say a prayer for Aayla and the chaos her master brings with him

Quiet Life: ...How did he write that with no typos?

Depa's Son: So what was your dream about Master Averross?

Grumpy: Yes, let us find out the reason why we were so rudely awaken

Most Dramatic: Count Dooku somehow still had access to our chats and was using it to the Separatist advantage

Female Quinlan: Honesty, that sounds more like a nightmare

First Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: I was unaware you knew such big words Averross

Head Of The Disaster: Positive, you are, of this not being a vision?

Tendril One: Well that is a terrifying prospect

Baby Of The Disaster: Not as terrifying as the thought of being stuck on this stupid planet for one more day

Read More Books: It is entirely possible that we had forgotten to remove him

Quiet Life: But how could we have forgotten to do something so important?

Water Boy: We were quite busy with the start of the war

Tendril Two: And with removing ourselves from the Senate's private servers

Original Zabrak: Along with creating our own

Obliviously Idiotic: Thanks to me

Baby Of The Disaster: Bragging much?

Buzz Kill: And dealing with Skywalker sized migraines

First Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: Oh Force, that was the biggest one yet

I Send Way To Many Holos Of My Son: Or like how everyone forgot how we are supposed to be asleep right now!

Head Of The Disaster: In mama mode, someone is

Grumpy: Tired, someone is

Second Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: He is still in the Disaster Lineage Chat

Tendril One: I can hear you rubbing your chin   

Tendril One: ...wait, what?

Obliviously Idiotic: That is who that is?

Obliviously Idiotic: I thought someone had forgotten to remove Xanatos

First Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: For over twenty years?

Baby Of The Disaster: Can I kill him now?

Buzz Kill: No

Buzz Kill: How is it possible that you idiots could become more idiotic?

Most Dramatic: He's talking to you @Drunken Yellow Mess

Second Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: In all fairness... Yoda has the controls

Tendril Two: Someone else could have removed him

Buzz Kill: Like Skywalker, for example

Buzz Kill: WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF UPDATING THE SOFTWARE AND REMOVING ANY POSSIBLE BUGS OR ENEMIES FROM OUR SERVERS!

Sane Member Of The Color Lineage: You do realize this is Anakin, right?

Obliviously Idiotic: Well excuse me, it wasn't like I was in charge of the whole operation or anything

Female Quinlan: He also just admitted that he thought that the other person in the chat was Xanatos

Female Quinlan: Someone who had been looooong gone before he was brought to the temple

Mother Of The Order: How did none of you even think about who the other person was?

Obliviously Idiotic: And in case you forgot, I LOST MY KRIFFING ARM!

Mad Medic: *Hand

Second Brain Cell Of The Disaster Lineage: All because of your stupid brashness

Obliviously Idiotic: You were the one who gave me the lightsaber!

Baby Of The Disaster: A stupid excuse

First Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: Better than most of them

Sane Member Of The Color Lineage: That's a low bar

Quiet Life: Let's be real, it is a miracle that they even noticed there was another person in the chat

Second Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage: I resent how accurate that is

Grumpy: And I resent all of you

Baby Mundi: That's fair

Goblin: If I have to see one more message on my comlick, I will kill all of you idiots

Jinx Again: Well that is not a very Jedi thing to say

Younger Mirialan: Did you just use 'Jedi' as an adjective?

Buzz Kill: Master Piell is right... even if he phrased it wrong

Buzz Kill: This conversation has gotten out of hand, we will return to this in the morning

Obliviously Idiotic: Can you please tell Ahsoka to stop hunting me in the meantime?

Baby Of The Disaster: I won't listen

Buzz Kill: The 501st can return to Coruscant if, and only if, the whole company can agree that you will no longer answer your comms will 'Chaos answering'

Obliviously Idiotic: Buzzkill

Notes:

Anakin Skywalker: Obliviously Idiotic
Ahsoka Tano: Baby Of The Disaster
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Second Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage
Feemor: First Brain Cell In The Disaster Lineage
Yoda: Head Of The Disaster
Caleb Dume: Depa's Son
Depa Billaba: I Send To Many Holos Of My Son
Mace Windu: Buzz Kill
O-Mer: Baby Mundi
Ki-Adi Mundi: Killjoy
Jinx: Jinx Again
Finn Ertay: Quiet Life
Adi Gallia: Tendril One
Stass Allie: Tendril Two
Kaifa: Sane Padawan
Maris Brood: Red And Black/Grumpy
Aayla Secura: Sane Member Of The Color Lineage
Quinlan Vos: Drunken Yellow Mess
Barriss Offee: Younger Mirialan
Luminara Unduli: Older Mirialan
Rael Averross: Most Dramatic
Komari Vosa: Female Quinlan
Plo Koon: I Adopt Everyone I Meet
Shaak Ti: Mother Of The Order
Jocasta Nu: Read More Books
Cal Kestis: Reading The Past
Jaro Tapal: Purple Wookie
Kit Fisto: Water Boy
Even Piell: Goblin
Eeth Koth: Original Zabrak
Agen Kolar: Other Zabrak
Katooni: A Pirates Favorite
Mad Medic: Vokara Che

Can't really guess if I have used these nicknames before, now can you? Well, did you guess the new ones?

I have like ten other stories in the works, but do not worry I will continue to write this story as well, most likely this story will have the most updates. Also I just realized that Maris' username could be read as a reference to Les Mis (which was the play I was in and her name is very similar to Marius)... Anyway, I will see you when I see you!

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed!