Chapter Text
"Some men […] choose to seek greatness, while others are forced to it. It is always better to choose than to be forced.
A man who is forced is never completely his own master. He must dance on the strings of those who forced him."
― Robert Jordan, The Great Hunt
Siaun Sanche has no one else to call.
The fact isn't strictly true as the dean of one of the top law schools in The Westlands; her contacts list is full, few that she would close. Nevertheless, at 40 years old, she can boast a legal career, fighting for equal and human rights for decades. She could wake up several politicians and judges and see their council if she wanted to; a whole team would pick up the phone, introspective of timezones. As one of the most prominent former students of the school and graduate programme, her roots run deep.
However, that was part of the problem, somehow the roots that hold her so securely rotted away when she was too blind even to notice the murmurings. Somehow along the way, childish resentments of former classmates and dissatisfied juniors became something of a campaign of misinformation and bitterness. The efforts to undermine Siuan's authority are breathtakingly brutal, a hostile takeover in all but name. It's stunning how quickly former friends melt away.
"Is it time for a change of leadership at the famous and prestigious White Tower Law School?" screams one of the biggest papers.
"Is this the woman we want influencing and shaping young legal minds and policies, especially in such an obvious way?" the accompanying photo is far from flattering.
"There has been criticism for decades about this particular style of teaching and scholarship, despite the bestselling books and talks, is it justified?" her entire career is helpfully summarised in brief.
"The White Tower Trembles: Is there is massive schism amongst the ideologies, what will the future of the law and justice landscape look resemble, progressive rigidly authoritarian?" the words are overly dramatic but hold some truth."
Being publicly shamed as an academic rarely becomes more than an internal office politics unless private dissension exists. Nevertheless, the board has long grumbled about the size of Siuan's budget, range of scholarship and hiring practices. The review of her contract would be contentious, even before the many reports of her private surface. The White Tower has too many influential people, backers and royal graduates to ignore direct and indirect implications. Paid sabbatical with generous benefits is a polite way to outsource the problem.
"Let us do some discreet investigation, see where all this speculation and innuendo originates, then we can start with a clean slate in the new year, you can focus on the book you have been itching to write." the board chairman tries to offer a sincere smile.
"Will Elaida or I will be letting the school with this clean slate you seem to covet so much?" Siuan is too exhausted to be diplomatic.
"I always liked you far more than our debates would have you believe, Siuan, nobody deserves such reckless treatment. Our investigation will be thorough and respectful. We will get to the bottom of how somebody has easy access to private and confidential information. If there is inside influence, the appropriate measures will happen, regardless of the investigation findings; there will not be a coup, bloodless or otherwise, on my watch." It feels strange to hear the man quote one of the headlines.
"That may not be within your power, but thank you for making an effort to keep up apparencies." Siuan holds out her hand in an awkward gesture of parting.
His loyalties were as fickle as a Tar Valon spring, but her allies were few at this point.
***
Thousands of Miles and Three Time zones
The Honourable Moiraine Damodred is presiding over a massive case.
Of course, this isn't an unusual circumstance. The former classmates may no longer be strictly on speaking terms, but Moiraine's career is easy to follow in their circles. The minor noblewoman enacts her teenage dream to protect the most vulnerable through courts and guarantee a pathway to justice for some of the worst offenders, who believe power, influence, or distance makes them about laws. Siuan sometimes watches her trials and can see the girl who won many debate cases.
"She will come storming here regardless of if you reach out directly, Siuan", Leane points out, her tone gentle but firm.
Siuan can't get the images of her life suddenly being public out of her head, the headlines of social media, the snide comments from former rivals in law school. Now that her most sensitive and private information is displayed, she doesn't know who to trust. Every time she glances at a computer screen, she sees another headline about what the media is unhelpfully but possibly truthfully calling the legal scandal of the decade. Siuan fears that this action would also meet the threshold for a bloodless coup.
"Moiraine may see herself as all-powerful now, but there is nothing she can do to support me, much less change the outcome," Siuan argues hoarsely.
"Then why do you keep dialling Lan's number or wiping the message before sending. Please, don't waste what little energy you have ignoring Moiraine, who is your strongest ally, regardless of your current tensions." Leane points out reasonably.
At this point, she can't even bear to put anything on paper or send a text for fear of it getting into the wrong hands. Still, she would trust a few steadfast allies with her life, and the school's chief administrator is near the top of the list. Leane's mission becomes making Siuan as safe as possible, away from areas where she may be vulnerable such as public engagements and restaurants. In the span of her a few days, Siuan becomes subject to the whims of whatever the taller woman believes to be safe.
"Tensions. You always were a successful diplomat when we were younger; that's one way to construct things, I suppose, you were there to witness some of the worst." Siuan gives her friend a fleetingly sheepish look.
"Two things can exist at once, Siuan. Moiraine Damodred can be both the last person you want to enter Tar Valon and the person you need the most."
"Get out of here while I still have the power to assign your leave and a pay check. They wouldn't succeed in destroying me in the next 8 hours while you get something resembling sleep, Leane." Siuan gentles her voice with genuine affection.
Siuan waits until the footsteps echo before she lets the tears fall.
***
The Internal Border
"What the hell is going on Siuan, every graduate you have had in the last 15 years is blowing up my phone. The number isn't that easy to track down, which makes the feat even more impressive."
"What we should have predicted decades ago but we too arrogant to see the depth of resentment from the Red Queen," Siuan says, using the old nickname.
Siuan Sanche isn't particularly close to al'Lan Mandragoran; he was Moiraine's most loyal friend. Therefore, it was only natural that his loyalties would remain steadfast in one direction when the two women become estranged. Nevertheless, things remain civil; the legal circles fighting for human rights are only so large. They would cross paths, especially as Moiraine tries to keep contact with a minimum. Lan is far too qualified to be an intermediary and errand boy, but he has yet to complain.
"Are you in danger? I mean, physically, do you need me to send a security force in the next few minutes?" Lan asks quickly, sounding like he's starting to pace.
"It won't take long for these words to turn sinister. I'll be taking a sabbatical to 'focus on my book', which will be the polite headlines in the morning. I'll be making my way home with some of Garath's garrison, it should help." Siuan keeps the terms general.
"Moiraine is finishing and meeting with Rand, Neynaeve and others. The preliminaries for their final exams are in a fortnight. After that, we will be on the next route to your retreat. She will ring from the plane; I suggest taking the call. " Lan says, leaving no room for argument.
"How is your future wife, as competitive and stubborn as ever?" Siuan changes the topic.
"Naynaeve a'Mara is one of Moiraine's favourite protegee, nothing more. There is hope if you can tease me and find the energy to comment on such hypotheticals." Lan says gently, his voice gruff.
"Dark humour is in the marrow of my bones, Lan. You know this well enough." Siuan says before hanging up.
Siuan cannot say she feels relief, knowing that Moiraine is on her way, but the vice-like pressure on her heart doesn't feel so powerful. They make an unlikely pair, the graceful prodigy, directly in line to the Sun Throne and the precocious kid with no family to speak of and big dreams. Yet Moiraine was at the centre of every formative experience of her life, in both good and bad ways. It remains unknown and unknowable what pattern this twist of fate will bring than again, Moiraine did love her mysteries.
***
Two Flights and Security
"Tell me everything, now."
Siuan has decades of practice at concealing her true emotions; it's a necessity in the role but goes far back to life as a scholarship kid. However reluctantly, she also develops an ability to interact neutrally with a woman that was once her best friend and close to the centre of her universe. Moiraine, at 43, looks every inch at the regal noblewoman with a burning desire for justice.
"I'm not one of your clerks, Damodred. Besides, you will see things in graphic, excoriating detail soon enough. You better believe Elaida will take delight in that little piece of theatre and dramatics." Siuan lets out a weary sigh.
"You think she is in charge of this, even directing the wiretapping? Elaida has ostensibly the same training as we did, more in some cases. Why would she should throw all that away for vengeance?" Moiraine asks incredulously.
"Making the thought of making me suffer and stopping our plans is enough of an incentive. But, unfortunately, there is a gulf between knowing Elaida's motives and directly building the evidence chain. She has enough support to gather people willing to do her dirty work and take the fall. Elaida can guarantee backing from the Antor throne and government. The board won't want to alienate them." Siuan relays the facts grimly.
"The way the parade photos of you going to clubs, on dates, who cares who you choose to spend time with, a single woman who works more hours than should be possible?" Moiraine hisses out angrily.
"Many people, it would seem, Tar Valon is still a relatively conservative place, at least when it comes to law and education. Some of the biggest donors still hold traditional views about women's rights. Especially when it comes to power, especially for a scrappy kid who didn't try and cultivate the connections she wasn't born with, my social calendar is becoming bare a disheartening rate." Siuan reports her tone wintery.
"When I get my hands on these people..." Moiraine's voice trembles in a barely suppressed rage.
" You will do nothing drastic or public. We aren't in ancient times; you cannot lay claim to defending my honour. There are already too many people you remember the previous closeness between us former influential classmates." Siuan tries to fill her voice with authority she no longer feels.
"It is precisely because I have such a position of influence that there is no way to let such an injustice, not only for your sake but future generations of the law and gesture. Our association was never the fatal blow to my campaign that you believed it to be, even at the worst of times. What good is gaining so much social capital and power if I am unwilling to test its limits? Siuan Sanche represents more to me than a former lover." Moiraine insists.
***
Two Cities and Three Hours
Moiraine is seeing her have a panic attack over zoom, the indignity.
As these things tend to, they escalate quickly. As a result, all Siuan social media and online accounts are deactivated and left in the hands of IT experts. Furthermore, her hypothetical sabbatical is no longer voluntary, and her second in command is taking over immediate administration duties. As a result, Siuan couldn't access her files, despite having half-done work. Siuan Sanche isn't unfamiliar with feeling powerless, that work could define many aspects of her childhood, but it has been decades since she was that terrified child.
"Breathe for me, Siaun; we will be there soon. Trust that this is Lan's area of expertise. It's coming from inside our walls, but the principles are similar." Moiraine sounds like she is using her official court voice.
"You shouldn't even be talking to me; the line may not even be secure; they could argue about interference in your case..." Siuan shivers; her body can't get warm anymore.
"Lan's team makes the connection more secure than most government devices. There is nothing to influence; the verdict is with the processing officer. Elaida isn't foolish enough to attack me directly, at least not yet. If it comes to it, I will recuse myself from anything further." Moiraine explains seriously.
"I am your weakest link then, just like always. Isn't that one of the reasons you left along with my many sins." Siuan asks, her voice tightening around the words.
Siuan Sanche tries not to poke the old wound, knowing no good comes from such actions. She is an expert at compartmentalising pain, but there is something surreal about having Moiraine take charge after so many years between them and barely managing civility during those other times. But, of course, a lack of conversations never stops them from having the occasional passionate night in featureless luxury hotels worldwide. Sexual compatibility is not something that dims for them over time.
"We have enough problems now without relegating the past. I wouldn't be able to claim my titles or prestige if I let such an injustice stand. Even if there weren't broader implications, caring about you is as much part of my make-up as the Damodred brow ridge and impossible hair. Our disagreements and ideological grounds will never change that, Siuan." Moiraine looks like she blinks back tears.
"I couldn't think of anyone to call, especially now that Gareth is off serving is the duty and potentially has a new wife; I didn't want to bring anyone else in the chaos. So my every reference for coping revolves around you and getting through things together." Siuan confesses tonelessly, working to keep her face blank.
"Thank you for trusting in those bonds, even though we have put them under unimaginable stress." Moiraine smiles sadly.
"Like my uncles strongest fishing ropes, able to withstand many strains and storms." Siuan points out with genuine affection.
"Lan and I will be there soon. So turn off all your tablets and phones, don't even play online chess. Dust off those Cairhien romances that you pretend not to enjoy; Dragon will enjoy curling up and having your undivided attention." Moiraine instructs a smile when thinking of the demanding rescue cat.
" Or resent having me in her domain for such extended periods. She still lounges on that massive cat tree you send from the peace accords." Siuan doesn't mention that that was one of their rare periods of civility.
"Send me photos." Moiraine instructs before signing off.
Siaun Sanche takes a shuddering brief and does as instructed. All her work devices are still in the office, she doesn't have that much technology in her home, but there is still enough for concern. Her small nondescript house in this region is smaller than most of the living spaces in the city, the land surrounding it is remote. Nevertheless, there is vaguely comforting to smell the salt and brine on the air, hearing the kingfisher delighting in their catches. This place will never provide a sense of home, but perhaps there can be safety.
***
Winding Country Roads and Pride
Moiraine resembles some avenging warrior out of legend.
A small part of Siuan Sanche wants to protest her and Lan coming to the remotest part of Tear; it takes considerable effort and time. For the most, her home region and city is a distant memory. Education was her ticket out as soon as her uncles realised how easily she could pace the children at the local school. Of course, Siuan misses the place, but in a more abstract sense after so many decades away. The one good thing is that people associate as a Westland and White Tower School. People aren't following her out here so far.
"I have contracted the security firm that Lan works for, they will be sending the people we have one retainer," Moiraine says, briefly sweeping into the room.
"You are staying here until your legal teams and get some injunctions in place. The threats of violence and direct attacks are escalating, even in the hours, it took us to get here." Lan agrees, trailing in Moiraine's footsteps and carefully closing the door behind him.
Siuan isn't entirely sure what possessed her, but one minute she is sitting calmly waiting for her visits, the next she is up and throwing her arms around, hugging Lan's lean from tightly. To his credit, it only takes him a second to adjust before he pulls her in closer, whispering words of kindness and compassion. Something is reassuring about his calmness and steadiness. Somehow she is a student again, facing the challenges of time away from her small, isolated home region.
"They are threatening to destroy me, and I believe them, having both the power and the desire. Everything we worked for could be ashes before the year was out." Siuan whispers against his broad chest.
"The next few weeks are going to be horrific, but the people responsible for this campaign will not get away with such attacks. We will defend the principles you fought for since you and Moiraine raised hell as students." Lan whispers into her hair.
"Don't be naive; it doesn't suit you; people have been discussing cheaper ways to run the school for years. That was before being handed an encyclopaedia of information about my life, desires and mundane details that should remain private." Siaun moves closer against him.
"What's your alternative, Sanche. Hideaway in your remote home village, letting the rumour dismantle the institution like insects. Your eyes and knees wouldn't handle such a life anymore." Moiraine draws her attention from the other side of the room.
"They are making horrible insinuations about my honour and integrity; not all of us have trust funds the size of developing nations GNP' to hide behind, Moiraine. The White Tower is the centre of who I am and its unlikely I will never return in the same capacity again." Siuan fumes at her, advancing further.
"Perhaps, that does not mean that we won't mount a vigorous defence and bet The Red Queen at her favourite game, weaving a narrative. You haven't slept in at least three days, crash for a few hours while we set everything up. Even if you just lie there thinking up new and innovative ways to insult me." Moiraine says briskly while a sad glimmer in her eyes.
"Moiraine...." Siuan begins helplessly
"Sleep Siuan, we will talk in a while."
Siuan Sanche hasn't taken such orders in years, but there is a relief in watching the two people move around the room confidently. For a moment, it feels like the old times, before all the arguments and hateful words. Siuan can almost see the ghosts of their student days in the corners of the room. Moiraine's authoritative and commanding voice still can provoke a reaction, even when it drifts from the other room. Finally, her shoulders start to ease, and sleep is a welcome respite.
***
Siuan didn't sleep much, but it was enough to clarify a particular point.
"You may be a genuine princess and fancy yourself a knight of just causes, but you a not riding to my rescue, Moiraine Damodred." is not the most diplomatic start.
"You are prideful enough to let old grievances stand in the way, mounting a defence to this slander?" Moiraine scratches in a way that her juniors learn to fear.
The two people in this room were unaffected by such a countenance.
There was the rub though, the problems between them weren't old; they ran deep, like a living thing, taking root, the rate at the core of who they were. So the noblewoman from a minor principality and the scholarship kid become friends rather than foes. Both of them were paid to speak and argue points of law and language for a living, but neither could find the words to solve the argument ended whatever was developing between them.
"Speak some sense into her, Lan. There is no way for a judge of your standing to intervene without catching the political fallout. Heck, we helped to write some of the ethical guidelines." Siuan glowers between the two.
"I would have better luck convincing the tides not to turn and the sun to cease rising. Besides, you are focusing on us being here for you as an individual, Siuan, which isn't strictly true. The 'Princess' is riding to save the realm, not just one individual." Lan points out with a smile before moving to the other room.
"For the 8000th time, I am not a princess, barely in the line of succession, and not making the list of influential royals anymore. Of course, the grey hair and fluctuating weight may have something to do with that." Moiraine jokes, moving carefully but sitting down on the couch.
"You have another case starting in two weeks and still have the final arguments for this one, Moiraine. Beyond making our alumni pages look good, you are no longer obligated to the school or me." Siuan says, ignoring the fact she knows the schedule.
"The doxing and coordinated attack against you, the investigation of the school and scrutiny on the board is only the beginning; they want to destroy you in every conceivable way, which I wouldn't stand for, but undermining the vision for justice is almost more crucial. You are the queen in a chess game from hell." Moiraine says grimly.
"You vowed never to be in the same room as me till the Wheels Next Turning, I believe was your exact phrase. Are we papering over that for now, Judge Damodred? Don't we teach that words matter?" Siuan asks, her voice caught between bitterness and hurt.
"I don't remember those words equating to standing by and letting a fearsome bully harass you into a foxhole. The situations were entirely different, I'm not ignoring the divisions." Moiraine insists, her eyes flashing.
"Always the tireless crusader even for the lost causes that make no sense or reason didn't they do a magazine profile like that once?" Siaun asks sharply.
"Hush. Elaida do Avriny a'Roihan never forgave us for the justice reforms' direction, especially when it comes to methods of interrogation and authority. She despised us idealistic students and has been looking for weakness every since. But, if her allies succeed, it could back the courts' and future lawyers and legal scholarship generations. The White Tower belongs to all those who came through the doors." Moiraine is quiet but absolute in her convictions.
"The sad thing is Elaida believes herself in the right, just like you did when you undermined my authority in pursuit of redemption for those royalists." Sian points out, bringing up the topic they were avoiding.
"I stand by the decision but was wrong to force your hand publicly. Elaida's methods and ideology are rotten to the core." Moiraine concedes sadly.
"Are you proposing a truce for the greater good, Damodred?"
"No. I'm saying that we are like your uncle's favourite rope, stronger than outward appearances and able to withstand obstacles for a common purpose. That is the extent of the poetry that runs through this noble woman's bones." Moiraine holds out her hands invitingly.
"You aren't going to save me, Moiraine." Siuan accepts the gesture.
"You are not going to be the next victim of a public vilification campaign, Siuan. There is too much good work still to be done." Moiraine tugs gently a pulls her into a hug.
Siuan resisted and at first, but Moiraine Damodred always was something of an irresistible force. So the first thing that strikes her is that the fundamentals of her former friend and lover are the same. She still fits against Siaun shoulder's and her long hair still has the soft while from when they shared a bed more nights than not. Even the way she shifts to reposition their weight before murmuring words of comfort bring back a cascade of memories, most of them wonderful, a few of them terrible, a statement that encompasses the whole of their long association.