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> MSPAR: Fail to troubleshoot computer in a timely fashion, with hilarious and/or sexy consequences.

Summary:

A transportalizer accident results in Vriska showing up at your house in a body much more similar to Ms. Roxy Lalonde's. Thanks to the twin disinhibiting effects of tipsiness and fan fiction, she proceeds to fuck you silly, to your mutual enrichment and enjoyment.

Notes:

I just banged this out because the muse took hold of me, so apologies if it doesn't quite scan.
Reader's gender, genitals, and pronouns are not mentioned in fic with the intent to vary as you so wish them. Vriska is femme and has a big dick and exactly one drink.

Work Text:

You blink, regaining your senses after the transportalizer mishap that just knocked you into the wall. In fairness, how could this possibly have been your fault? The alert that the previous transportalizer buffer hadn't been cleared didn't pop up, and moreover Vriska had decided to just drop in on you completely unannounced. You barely even had time to message her back with an "ok cool" followed by a "wait fuck let me check the transportalizer pad", much less to actually run all the way down to it to do so.

But back to your dazed form trying to stand after the accident and ensuing mild explosion. And suddenly in front of you there's Vriska after all. Well. She is conditionally immortal.

Only it's not quite her.

"heeeeeeeey nerd"

She's taller, for one thing. And her posture's usually better than that?

"can a 8itch get a fucken drink or smthn like immedi8ly"

... And she's usually pretty much a teetotaler.
Oh, Jegus. She got mixed with your friend Rose's mom's pattern. She's going to kill you. Well, not Rose's mom. But Vriska, and come to think of it Rose too if she ever finds out, will DEFINITELY at least lightly murder you over this. When sober.

"u just gonna stand aruond when ur 8est friend needs some 8ooze? cmon"

Somehow her voice is even more commanding than before, even without the mind control. (You've been under it; you can tell when she's in your head versus not.) You mumble some noncommittal apology and lead the way upstairs.
Finally in the kitchen you collect yourself enough to have a look at your 8estie's new 8ody. First, the things that didn't get changed. Still got her horns. Her pupula septoplex. Her noticeable bulge. Her clothes are mostly the same, scaled up, although her jacket has the retrofuturistic look of Ms. Lalonde's now.
The differences are more striking since you already know her. Like, she was already tall but now she's REALLY tall. She's practically towering over you. Her hair's as long as ever but straight and coiffed, like Rose's mom always has hers done up. She's also, for lack of a better word, absolutely stacked. In short, your friend has a serious case of early-onset MILFism, despite a notable lack of maternal instinct and a technical disqualification vis-a-vis total disinterest in biological parenthood. Unfortunately for you that has absolutely no bearing on the implications of the term, and as if you weren't already attracted to her.
About eight seconds into your reverie she notices your pause and checks out what you're staring at.

"oh guess tht explains the cravings, lol. u no i should pro8a8ly 8e way angier a8out this 8ut actully this 8od's pretty fuckin sweet, 8a8e. 8ut srsly i need somethin 8u88ly pronto and im 8ettin alcoholism works 8etter if you don't try to cut it out all at once"

You nod. Right. Drinks. Roxy's mom is usually fine with the cheap stuff so this, uh, MILF Vriska probably won't mind either. You rummage through the liquor cabinet and pull out a reasonable-but-not-special rose, and a martini glass. Count of one, two, and done, and--
Wait, did she just call you "8a8e"?

"hehe yeah whaaaaaaaat u think i didnt clock u for cute? hard not to ya kno." She glides over--a decidedly Vrisky maneuver--and deftly plucks the glass out of your hand, with a gentle smooch on your forehead. So now the girl you've been crushing on is suddenly a tipsy, curvy MILF who can still read minds. Okay. Your day is going to get so awkward so fast if you don't start thinking about other things.
"now why would it 8e awkword :::;) just bcuz i can see you thinkin 8out how smokin hottttttt i am?"

Well. Fuck.

"shure thing 8oo"

Wait, what?

Vriska (Vrs. Lalonde?) downs the glass in a single gulp and advances on you. You barely have time to register her motion before your face is nestled snugly between her tits. "hehehehehehehe. yea u r pretty cute that far down actualy. and from what's racin around in ur head id say youve 8een wanting me to fuck you for a LOOOOOOOONG time." She grips your butt and gives it a firm squeeeeeeeeze, enough that you can't help but moan directly into her sternum. "so we gonna do this? u want me to pound u into next fuckin week? cuz i sure wanna see you cum under me 8a8e :::;)"
Yes. Fuck yes. You want this even more 8adly than you thought. You wave vaguely in the direction of the lounge but by the time your gesture catches up with your vocal affirmation she's already moving you bodily towards the couch, whereupon she sits with a loud, satisfying *plop*. Did we mention her hips? Because she's got them for days. They're probably each the size of your head. Which makes it all the more hot that she's holding you in place straddling them. "aright cutie y dont u get me warmed up? cuz once i am u r NOT gonna 8e drivin for much longer~~~~~~~~" You have no idea how she said the tildes out loud and you don't care because you're already unbuttoning her jacket and slipping your pants off. It'd be an impressive feat of dexterity to dwell on if we weren't busy moving the story along to the part where your best-friend-turned-wine-aunt is about to be railing you with her big fat MILFcock. So instead we shall focus on your head, greedily sucking on Vriska's D cups, and the stiff cock already trying to poke your groin. She purrs as you lick and grope at her chest, petting and caressing your head. "oooh 8n't you the slut of the hour" she coos, unbuttoning her pants to let her girldick breathe. She's already totally stiff and it smacks you right in the stomach when she frees it from her pants. "ur head is just FULL of intresting thots, u kno. and no i won't mind if u call me Mommy, not as long as a 8itch looks this 8angin". You whimper and nod, moving a hand down to make sure her erection isn't going to disappear anytime soon, and taking the oppportunity to slather her with lube, because for some reason it's very obvious to you exactly where she's going to put that gorgeous thing-- "noooooooow im thinkin i want ur ass ridin this thing, that gonna work for you cutie~?" she purrs. You release her breast from your mouth and nod a breathy "Yes, Vri- Mommy" as you rotate yourself on top of her thighs. Her cock nestles right between your cheeks, and you feel it warm and throbbing against your ass. And hey, this might not be quite the fashion you imagined it in but you definitely DID imagine her doing exactly this to you someday and that day might as well be today, you think, before Vriska interrupts your reverie by hoisting you up by your thighs and just as swiftly dropping your lubricated ass straight onto her cock.

The sudden sensation of being filled so deeply knocks the breath out of you for a moment. No amount of fantasizing and training and even foreknowledge of how big she is could prepare you for the fact that in MILF mode, Vriska's cock is even MORE immense than you knew. "now don't keep Mommy waitin 8a8e," you hear, and she takes hold of you by the shoulders and starts *thrusting*. Gently, at first, since she's still seated, but enough to make you moan ecstatically as she nestles her shaft deep in your tight ass, and as her balls slap ever so gently against your thigh gap. You lean forward and do the best approximation of twerking you can get at this angle, because it just feels too fucking good to actually focus on the movement -- just 'Mommy' Vriska's big dick plugging up your cute butt.

Suddenly she leans forward and grabs you more firmly. "now im getting preeeeeeetty close here so im gonna 8end you over 8a8e, Mommy wants to pin you down when she cums ::::)"
And indeed that's just what she does. Maybe you forgot just how much upper body strength she's got but in one smooth motion Vriska manages to spread your legs, stand up, pitch you forward with your hands on the floor, and kneel behind you again without ever withdrawing from your asshole. "fuuuuuuuuck u r the 8est, slut. i m DEFFINITELY gonna 8e doin u again sometime," she breathes, thrusting deeper and deeper into you with each word, until finally, not two breaths after the sentence, she makes one final absolute balls-deep thrust into your body, and stays there. You feel her twitch and spurt inside you, load after load of creamy cum warming your insides. It feels like hours before she finally relaxes her deathgrip on your flank and lets you collapse, just a bit, onto the floor, still pulsing a few drops of cum at a time.

And then another voice comes to your ears, from much farther away.
"Well, it's obvious that isn't actually my dear mother, but honestly I'm not sure if that makes this situation better or somehow even worse."
Your eyes flick open and Rose is standing above both of you.
"I tried knocking but there wasn't an answer, and now I think I have some idea of why."
You try to clamber up but Vriska holds you down, grinning so wide you can feel it telepathically.
"so? u wanna do somethin a8out it grimdork?"
"I suppose the question is more *what* I'm going to do about it, because after all, walking in on your friends having sex is one thing, and even, I'm given to understand, having sex with your own parents in particularly distressing cases. But I think 'a facsimile of my mother who is yet completely unrelated to all parties' is not previously covered in the literature."
Rose squats down to look at you face to face, with a hint of a twinkle in her eye.
"Yes, I do think we're in firmly unexplored territory here. And as anyone who's read canon knows, that is by far my favorite realm."