Chapter Text
A few days later found Chloe and Lucifer on a stake out for their latest case. Between the various twists and turns, there had been plenty of excitement to keep Lucifer entertained and distracted. Chloe as well. Now though, in the silence of the darkened car as they waited outside their suspect's apartment building, it was clear Lucifer still had a lot on his mind. The first hour or so had passed easily, as it usually did, with the pair exchanging quiet theories about the case and the suspect. However, instead of complaining about the forty-five minutes to an hour of silence that followed, Lucifer remained quiet, staring at the building with unfocused eyes.
Chloe found her thoughts creeping in his direction whenever she had a spare moment as she continued to try to wrap her mind around Lucifer in love. It just didn't seem like something he'd want. He always seemed perfectly content, if not excited about the way his life was currently going. He'd mentioned how he appreciated having this outlet for his "punishment" tendencies, but he'd never expressed a similar dissatisfaction with his personal life.
Now though… Now she could see some of that was more of a veneer than she would have ever suspected. When she thought back to certain moments, other comments he'd made. He seemed lonelier now to her. Like maybe just how he wanted some additional purpose, some additional substance to his professional life, he might want something more in his personal life.
Without him to interrupt the silence, she found herself reaching for a reason to herself. She leaned over to the glove box, popping it open with a sound that drew his attention. She grabbed a package of goldfish she'd taken from the house for herself and offered Lucifer a similar bag of cool ranch puffs. "Hungry?"
Lucifer's eyes lit up. "Ooh, don't mind if I do."
She smiled at his predictable reaction—sometimes he was so easy to please—and opened her own snack. "So, how's everything else going? Any more groundbreaking sessions with Linda?"
Lucifer snorted. "Certainly nothing new."
When Chloe just raised an interested eyebrow for him to elaborate, he sighed and said with a grimace, "Doctor Linda keeps pressing me to do something about this whole 'feelings' thing and she's very resistant to taking 'no' for an answer." His frown deepened as he stared into the bag of snacks, as if his choice of which puff to eat next was of utmost importance. "Or she wishes to speak of my parents. She says I can't keep avoiding things I find... that I don't want to talk about." Lucifer gave a superior sounding sniff before he huffed, "Seems to me I'm paying her so I can talk about whatever I wish to."
Chloe rolled her eyes, but didn't call him on his last words or let herself be distracted by his past, instead focusing on his resistance to actually taking action about his feelings. He'd said something before about having already confronted this person only to be rejected. "And you don't want to because they already said they weren't interested?"
Lucifer's eyes flickered to hers. "Yes."
Chloe narrowed her eyes, remembering again what he'd said about not understanding his feelings until recently. "Did you ask them on a date? Or just to sleep with them?" she asked shrewdly.
Lucifer shoved a puff into his mouth. "Why does it matter?"
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Plenty of people—ones who don't throw themselves at you at Lux—prefer to date before jumping into bed with someone."
"Your point?" he drawled.
"Just because someone rejected you for no strings attached sex doesn't mean they might not want to date you."
Lucifer's brow furrowed, as if such a thing had never occurred to him. He looked contemplative. "But surely when dating someone you have feelings for, you have sex."
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but…” She searched for the right words. “For instance, you never expect more than a night of fun with your... guests.” He nodded. “So how could someone tell that you wanted something longer lasting if you approached it the same way you did short term flings?" Then something else occurred to her. "Or do you not want to be in like, a typical romantic relationship? Like, dating, monogamy, the whole nine yards? Is that why you haven’t told them?”
Lucifer immediately shook his head, his voice was soft when he replied saying, “No, I believe I’d like that very much." He froze, as if he hadn't meant to reveal so much. He shifted back a bit before saying, offhandedly, "Dr. Linda thinks that I feel unworthy of meaningful personal relationships because I suffer from low self-worth due to my family's rejection of me and that is why I purposely only seek out superficial, short-term sexual partners: to avoid similar rejection.”
Chloe's eyes went very wide at that. “Oh.” Lucifer needed to stop just dropping heart-wrenching pieces of information out of the blue like that.
“I’m not sure if that’s the case," Lucifer continued, not noticing the effect his previous statement was having on Chloe. "I do enjoy sex and fulfilling people’s desires and everything that comes with that." He waved his hand in an all-encompassing gesture and frowned, "And I don’t fully comprehend how she can call me narcissistic and self-absorbed one minute and then tell me I have low self-esteem the next. But she also thinks it’s a defensive measure, to keep myself unattached because I’m used to being alone, which is likely true." He crumpled up the now empty puff bag in his hand and put it in the door's compartment. "Urgh, feelings are so much more complicated than I thought.”
“Yeah, I bet," Chloe said, having no idea what else to say to something like that.
They sat in silence for the next few minutes, both caught in their thoughts. Chloe pulled herself free first. "So, think you might say something to them after all?"
Lucifer gave her a fond look at her inability to let this drop. "Such as what, exactly?"
"How about 'would you like to go out on a date with me?'" she suggested, a teasing light in her eyes. "Simple, straightforward—always worked for me."
Predictably, Lucifer smirked at her words. "Oh did it now? How many people have you seduced with that line, Detective?"
"More than you have, evidently," Chloe said, an easy smirk on her face in reply.
Lucifer laughed. "Evidently." After his laughter died down, his eyes grew intent on hers. "And you think I should approach the object of my affections again? With that line? You don't believe it would be... pushing boundaries, to ask again for something in addition to friendship?"
Chloe smiled. “It seems to me maybe you weren't clear about what you wanted the first time—and you owe it to them to give them a real choice."
Lucifer smiled back. "Then perhaps I will."
Chloe's smile widened, pleased as she always was when he took her advice and smiled at her like he was now, like he was just genuinely happy—like she had made him happy, no pretenses or affectations or exaggerations. Just Chloe, plain Jane, Decker.
Reluctantly her eyes landed back on the apartment garage entrance as she tried to remind herself that they were technically on the clock regardless of how unlikely it would be for their suspect to make a move. She reached over to take a sip from her water bottle, suddenly feeling restless. She was happy for Lucifer, she really was, and if he wanted to be in a real relationship, he should go for it. But what this conversation really made her realize, more than anything, was that she didn't want him to go for it with some random stranger that somehow had managed to capture his interest. She wanted him to go for it with her.
She mentally groaned. She thought she was over the part of her life where she wanted someone who was so clearly not interested in her. A little voice in the back of her head wasn't ready to give up hope quite yet—after all, she and Lucifer were pretty close and she had no idea who it could be so maybe...
No, she told herself sternly. None of that. There were plenty of people in Lucifer's life she'd never met—all of whom fit in with his lifestyle far better than a workaholic single mom. Maybe if she could just put a name and a face to them, she could get a grip and forget about it. But Lucifer probably hadn't mentioned who it was on purpose. She should just keep her nose to herself.
“So who is it?” Chloe wasn't sure how long she lasted, but the question popped out anyways. So much for self-control.
Lucifer had been studying the few other cars on the street and turned to his head toward her at her question, obviously having lost the thread of what they'd been talking about. “Hm?”
“The person you’re in love with?" She wanted to respect his privacy, she did, but at the same time it was tearing her up inside, not knowing. She tried to give him an out though, "I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to...”
“Oh, I suppose." He blinked slowly at her. "You sincerely want to know?" He seemed surprised by her interest. "You haven’t already…?”
“Yes," Chloe replied quickly, fighting down a flush and giving a little shrug. "I’m curious.”
“Of course, Detective, but…" He looked truly bewildered, like she was missing something obvious and he thought maybe she was simply pretending not to get it. He leaned forward, obviously trying to gauged the sincerity of her question. "You must already know.”
Frustration crept down her spine and her jaw tightened. She hated feeling like she was missing the obvious or that she should know something she didn't. It always made her feel stupid. She crossed her arms. “Look, if you don’t want to tell me—”
“It’s you," he blurted out as if it was the most obviously thing in the world, as if there was no other answer he could possibly give. "Of course it’s you, Chloe.”
Chloe's eyes went wide as she tried to make sense of what she'd just heard, because he couldn't really mean... The hard swallow of his throat, the twitch of his hands as if he wanted to open the door and flee, the look in his eyes that he always had these days when he looked at her—they all betrayed the truth of his words.
"Me?" Chloe's voice broke on the word, unable to believe him even with the evidence in front of her.
"Yes," he replied simply, solemnly.
"Oh," she said, trying to regain her bearings despite feeling like the floor had disappeared beneath her. Lucifer starting to lean away from her was what finally broke through to her. She automatically reached out to keep him close. Her hands cupped his jaw and the grit of his stubble against her hands helped ground her even further in the moment. Because this was happening. Because he said it was her.
"Good," she said, somewhat nonsensically, before she closed the remaining distance between them, sealing his lips with hers. She pressed firmly against him, her hands sure—as if worried he might evaporate if she let him. She pulled back, leaving a scant inch of space between their lips when he didn't respond. Her eyes flicked open to see his staring at her in shock. As her breath brushed his lips, she inhaled sharply—panic starting to fire through her nerves.
Before she could worry that this might have been a mistake, his eyes closed and his mouth was slanting over her own once again. One of his hands covered her own on his cheek while the other landed on her other arm, by her elbow, pulling her closer. His lips were soft, his intent obvious as he nipped at her bottom lip. She had always understood him when it mattered most and her lips obligingly parted. He wasn’t surprised or hesitant at all this time as he licked into her mouth, meeting her moan with his own as the kiss grew steadily more heated and intense.
Eventually they parted to catch their breath, foreheads pressed together as neither seemed to want to go far. Lucifer regained the ability to speak first. His voice was wonderfully low and just a bit raspy as he said, "Detective?"
"Hm?" Chloe hummed, eyes still closed, still trying to make herself believe in the reality of her hands on him.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?"
She easily mirrored the smile evident in his voice as she answered, "Yes. I would."