Chapter Text
“What the fuck, Rey?”
“Yeah, Rey, what the fuck? ”
If Rey ever had over-bearing parents, she imagines they would look like Finn and Poe, arms crossed and standing shoulder to shoulder with equally disapproving looks.
After that emotional reunion, General Organa whisked Ben away into the base for what will no doubt prove to be a deeply awkward conversation. Meanwhile, Finn and Poe dragged her out into the grassy field next to the hangar, far out of earshot, for their own confrontation.
“What do you want me to say?” she asks a little helplessly.
The past week has felt like a strange fever dream, a vision of another life. How could she possibly explain any of it?
“Maybe you could start with how the fuck any of this happened?” says Poe.
Rey swallows, then turns her gaze to Finn.
“You remember the man I told you about, who would visit me sometimes and bring me caf?”
Finn’s eyes grow comically large. “No. No! Kylo Ren is Coffee Guy?! ”
Of course she had told Finn about her mysterious friend, but only vague details. Never what he looked like or what they talked about. But Finn knew she had another friend who kept her caffeine needs well-supplied.
“Coffee Guy? Who the fuck’s Coffee Guy?” Poe demands.
“When I worked on the Finalizer, they used to call me in to clean up the rooms Kylo Ren destroyed when he got angry,” she explains. “The first time it happened, someone wandered in the room, out of uniform. They said they had forgotten something and we got to talking and . . . he started bringing me caf when he heard me complain. And then he started showing up each time I had a mess to clean up, and it just turned into this weird . . . friendship.”
Rey shrugs rather helplessly. Poe gives her a flat look.
“And that person was Kylo Fucking Ren ?” he says.
“ . . . yes?”
“How the hell did you not know? ”
“He was always out of uniform! No one ever saw Kylo Ren take his mask off. How is anyone supposed to know what he looks like?”
“It’s true," says Finn. "Everyone on that ship had their own theory about what kind of weird shit was going on under that mask. It’s actually weirder that he’s so normal looking.” He turns back to Rey. “What happened on Takodana? We waited for you as long as we could but . . . you never showed.”
There’s a heavy weight in his gaze— guilt , she realizes.
She quickly explains how they ran into each other in the forest, how the stormtroopers were shooting at him more than her. She skips over the part where Kylo Ren knocked her out and smuggled her into the ship. And she is going to take that kiss to her grave.
Poe pinches the bridge of his nose as if fighting off a headache. “I just—the most terrifying man in the galaxy brought you coffee and made small talk and somehow rescued you off Takodana and is Leia’s goddman son —and oh fuck, Han! ”
“ Shit !” Finn yells.
“What? What happened?” Icy fingers clench at her heart. “Is Han alright?”
Stars above, if something happened to Han because he was waiting for her . . .
“He dumped us off here and went back to Takodana to get you,” Poe explains. “In case you were stuck there. Someone’s gotta tell him–”
They take off back to the base, skidding to a halt inside just as Leia steps out of one of the side doors. “Meeting,” she says, face grim. “ now .”
“But Han—he’s–”
“Already been called, Dameron. This takes precedence.”
“You know what this is about?” Finn murmurs to her as they follow Poe and General Organa down a winding hallway.
She nods her head. “It’s not good.”
General Organa calls every droid and Resistance hand into a dark, cramped meeting room with a communications console in the middle. There’s hardly room to breathe with everyone squished in. Rey’s eyes dart around, looking for Kylo, but she doesn’t see him at first—he blends into the shadows in the back of the room, looking stone-faced. She tries to catch his gaze, but he keeps his eyes trained on his mother.
“I am about to tell you some very urgent, very shocking news,” Organa states. “I need everyone to stay calm and quiet until I’m finished.”
She takes a brief hard look at the crowd, whose quiet murmurs cease immediately.
“Snoke is dead. Kylo Ren has killed him and defected to the Resistance. In retaliation, General Armitage Hux has both information regarding the location of this base and plans to destroy it and us with a super-powered weapon that makes the Death Star look like a laser pointer for tookas. I’ve already called back our fleet to begin immediate evacuations. I will need the majority of you to see to that evacuation immediately. Pack our things, wipe our data drives—you know what to do. I will need our pilots and officers to stay behind. As well as Rey and Finn.”
When she finishes, Rey expects the room to erupt in a roar of confusion and panic, but it stays dead silent in shock.
Until a voice calls out, “How do we know he defected? How do we know this isn’t a trap?”
Organa pauses for a moment, and then her eyes cast over the crowd to the man standing in the back. “Because Kylo Ren is my son.”
Then the room erupts into a roar of confusion and panic. Organa holds up her hand for silence, her mouth forming words that Rey can’t hear.
“ Shut! Up!”
Two voices carry over the panic simultaneously—Poe and Kylo. Poe has stood up beside Organa and Kylo has stepped out of the shadows, towering over every seated person with a glare that is honestly a little frightening. The clamor quiets again.
“We have very little time before General Hux blows this planet into dust with everyone on it,” says Kylo. “You don’t want to believe me, that’s fine, but your doubts are not worth the risk of every life in this room.”
“Also, your general gave you an order,” Poe adds, his own hawkish glare rather imposing. “So get your asses out there and follow it. She’ll explain what she needs to when we’re not in immediate danger.”
Caught between two formidable, angry men, the rest of the Resistance begins to file out, their complaints and questions reduced to a low murmur. Rey pities them—she knows what it feels like to go about your business and have your whole world upended out of nowhere. This morning they woke up, drank their caf, and laughed with their companions, and now they’re evacuating with their hearts in their throats and their lives in the hands of time and fate.
Once the last of the Resistance members leaves, General Organa turns to face who’s left. “We have no concrete data on this weapon or the base it’s on. There’s no time to send out a scout, either. I only have what Ben has told me. I realize that that’s not satisfactory for anyone in this room, and I understand your concerns. But I believe him, and not only that—this weapon can destroy entire planetary systems. It’s not worth the risk not to believe him.”
“I worked on that base before I was transferred,” says Finn. “It’s real, and it’s horrifying.”
“How big is it?” one of the officers asks—a man with dark eyes and short grey hair.
Kylo steps up to the console and brings up the holo of what looks like a sketch drawing of a ball. The middle of the ball is bisected with a gaping maw and a circle in the middle of it. Even in the middle of crisis Rey has to take a moment to bask in the strangeness of seeing his tall figure debriefing a room full of Resistance officers
“The entire planet is the base,” says Kylo. He points to the circle inside the maw. “This is the cannon. It draws power from stars in order to charge it.”
“With all that power you would need a thermal oscillator of some kind,” says the officer.
“There is one.” Finn reaches over and points to somewhere up and to the left of the cannon. “Precinct 47, around here.”
“If we can destroy that oscillator, we can destabilize the core and cripple the weapon.”
“That could also break the base apart,” says Kylo.
“With that kind of weakness, it must be protected by serious shielding,” Organa points out. “Our ships may not be able to penetrate them in time.”
“Then we disable the shields.” Poe starts to pace, and from the way his eyes jump around the crude sketch Ben must have created, Rey can see the magno-gears spinning in his head. “Rey and Finn have both worked on First Order ships with First Order tech. If we sneak onto the planet, then they can break into the base and disable the shields, and then we can destroy the cannon and the planet along with it.”
Destroy the planet and everyone on it. Just like the First Order wanted to do to the Resistance. The thought of it sends a sharp spike of dread through her. She almost wants to throw up.
“No!”
The word bursts not only from her mouth but also Kylo’s.
“No?” Poe’s eyebrows raise up. “You want to leave this planet-sized weapon of total destruction just lying out there for the First Order to retake?”
“Of course not, but you can’t destroy the whole thing. That would kill everyone on the planet!”
“This is war, Rey. People die. They’re First Order—they chose their side. It’s us or them.”
“ I was one of those people,” she snarls. “And I didn’t pick the First Order. I picked not to starve. There’s more than just officers and generals on that planet. There’s techies and mechanics and cooks and nobodies. Thousands of them. Not to mention people like Finn who didn’t even get to have a choice. People who saved your ass , by the way.”
“And I feel for them, Rey. I do. I hate this option, but we don’t really have time or manpower to take over a place that big and evacuate before we get blown to smithereens!”
“You know if you destroy Starkiller Base you destroy all evidence that it existed,” says Kylo quietly. “And therefore the proof you need to convince the Senate that it’s a serious threat to the galaxy.”
“We need that evidence,” says Organa. “The First Order can’t survive a war with both us and the entirety of the Republic. We could finally dismantle them for good.”
Poe just stares at Rey and Kylo for a moment before dragging his hand down his face. “You got any other ideas, then? I’m all ears.”
Kylo’s eyes slide to hers. “If you can get to the firing mechanism, could you disable it instead?”
“Yes.”
She doesn’t hesitate—she doesn’t even think. If she can’t disable it manually, she’ll just shoot something important.
Anything to have another option.
“I can get her there,” says Finn. “I know where it is.”
Kylo nods. “I’ll help. You’re going to need it.”
“Absolutely not!” Organa says sharply. “You are not going anywhere near that base. In fact, the only way you’re getting off the planet is with me on an evacuation ship.”
Kylo swings his incredulous gaze to his mother. “ What? That base is going to be heavily guarded. There’s no way that those two are going to make it on their own. They need me.”
“Right now you’re the biggest target in the galaxy. You being with them will draw everyone on that base to you. How is that helpful?”
“If I’m the biggest target in the galaxy, why am I going with you?” Kylo counters. “I didn’t kill Snoke to save you just so you can get shot to pieces in a dinky evac ship because of me.”
“And I didn’t get you back just so I could lose you all over again! The last time I let you walk away from me–”
“None of what happened to me was in your control, Mom! You can’t keep me with you like a rowdy toddler–”
“You are technically a prisoner of war right now, Ben, so yes I think I can–”
Rey leans in close to Finn. “This is awkward. Do you think someone should say something?”
“If you think I’m getting in the middle of that , you’re fucking crazy,” Finn murmurs back.
“Enough!” Poe yells.
“Oh, thank god,” Rey whispers.
“With all due respect, General, we do not have time for your family drama,” he continues. “We have much bigger problems—for example, just like he said, that that place is crawling with the First Order. Disabling the planetary laser is great, but they still have fighters and starships and a whole army of other stormtroopers we have to deal with!”
That seems to stop Organa and Kylo in their tracks. They turn back to Poe. Kylo speaks first.
“Hux has been stockpiling troops because he intends to use Starkiller Base to wipe out the Hosnian system,” he explains. “The whole system . Then there won’t be a government to report them to. But until that happens they are not going to deploy their forces. They don’t want anyone to even know they have a military until they’re ready for a complete hostile takeover.”
“They seem perfectly happy to blow their cover blowing us out of the galaxy!”
“Hux isn’t following the plan anymore. No one is. Instead they’re scrabbling to be the one to replace Snoke. And if they want to keep the First Order from splintering, someone has to do it fast. Hux isn’t thinking long-term takeover anymore; he’s thinking short-term power grab. We need to act while they’re still unstabilized. Which is why I should be there .”
Oh R’iia, here we go again.
“ No .” There’s a fiery, stubborn gleam in Organa’s eyes that Rey would not challenge for a million credits. “Rey, I assume Maz gave you the ship you came in on?”
Rey jumps as the General’s gaze turns to her.
“Y-yes, ma’am.”
“Good. That makes it face and untraceable. You and Finn take it to Starkiller Base, sneak on board, and disable the cannon. Poe, you take our pilots and launch a small-scale attack on the base. This is a distraction, not all-out war. Piss them off, draw as many as you can away from the base, stay out of range—no one needs to be a hero, got it? Everyone comes back alive.”
“Yes, General,” everyone says in response.
“Ben, you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not. You’re so damned worried about me? Then stay by my side and protect me.”
Kylo’s gaze turns mulish, his eyes dark and furious. But he doesn’t argue.
“Alright, everyone. You know what to do. Get busy.”
Finn tugs on her arm. “Let’s go before we have to deal with him .”
Rey’s eyes find Kylo’s as she files out of the room. An hour ago they were kissing each other breathless on the sink. Now they’re both separated and she doesn’t know the next time she’ll see him again. A hundred horrible things could happen today—what if she gets shot trying to disable the cannon? What if his ship is blown to pieces with Leia on it? What if they both make it just so the Republic can execute him?
The anger softens as his gaze locks on hers. He gives her one nod of acknowledgement, ignoring the stares and mutters around him. For one moment the rest of the room falls away and all she sees is him–
And then Finn tugs her through the hissing doors and into the hallway.
Outside the room, the base is a flurry of panicked activity. People run in and out of doors, carrying cases and boxes, yelling orders to each other, running up and down the halls. Finn grips her hand tightly as they thread their way through the throng of people until they burst into the outdoor hangar. Even out here people scatter every which way like sand in the breeze.
“ Shit ,” he hisses suddenly.
“What?”
“My stormtrooper uniform is still on the Falcon . It’d be perfect for sneaking onto the base. You still have yours. We could have been undetectable.”
“We’ll just get another one,” says Rey. “Spare jumpsuits aren’t that hard to find once you get to the living quarters. You’ll have to be a grunt with me.”
“I can live with that. Your uniform is so much more comfortable than mine was.”
“ FINN!”
They both jerk to a halt when they hear Poe’s voice thundering behind them. The pilot runs up to them, already dressed in his orange flight suit. He digs his fingers into Finn’s jacket (well, his own jacket that Finn stole when he got cold on the Falcon ) and kisses Finn on the mouth .
Rey’s eyes go wide, and then she quickly averts her gaze.
“That’s a preview for later,” Poe says, eyes fierce. “And that later is going to happen because you’re coming back in one piece. You got that?”
Finn just nods, his eyes wide. “Y-yeah. Yeah, I got it.”
Poe turns to Rey and cups her face in her hands. She braces herself for a kiss of her own, but his lips only graze over each of her cheeks.
“You stay safe, too,” he says. “And watch out for him. I’ll be in the sky, being a giant pain in the ass.”
“Your specialty,” Rey teases.
“You know me so well already.”
He pats her cheek and sends Finn a long, passionate look before taking off to his own ship.
“Oh my Gods , what was that?” Rey demands.
“Nothing! I don’t know! Let’s get to the ship!”
Finn’s voice is unnaturally high, and a rosy tint spreads across his dark cheeks. He speed walks away from Rey towards their ship.
“Oh, don’t you dare tell me you don’t know,” she says, scrambling after him. “Just what happened while I was gone?”
“Nothing! That’s the first time he’s ever done anything like that.”
Finn jogs up the ramp of the ship, almost like he’s running away from her. Rey stays hot on his heels, smugly strapping herself into the pilot’s seat so he knows he can’t get away from the conversation.
“Did you like it?” she asks as he settles into the co-pilot seat.
“Fucking Stars, Rey! Can we focus on the all-important mission the fate of the galaxy is depending on us for?”
“Why can’t we do both at the same time?”
“Just start the ship, Rey! And maybe— maybe —I’ll tell you.”
True to his word, Finn keeps his mouth mulishly shut while Rey flicks switches. Excitement and fear bubble in her gut as the base gets smaller and smaller below them. She could kiss Poe herself for giving her a distraction from it. Always on the run, always looking out for herself, Rey has never had the worry of other people on her mind like she has the last few days. It hits different than the stress of basic survival. So much of Finn’s safety, of Poe’s or Kylo’s or the Resistance’s, lies outside of her control.
Not to mention that what does lie in her control is shrouded in vague mystery. She knows nothing about Starkiller Base, about the layout, about the tech in the firing mechanism. What if she can't figure it out? What if she doesn’t even make it?
How much blood is on her hands if she fails?
“You know we could trade secrets,” Finn offers.
Rey shakes herself from her dooming thoughts. “What secrets?”
“Me and Poe for you and Kylo Ren.”
Her mouth opens and closes in soundless shock. “Me and Kylo? Don’t be ridiculous!”
“Don’t bullshit me, Rey! I see the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you when you’re not paying attention. I’m not stupid. When the hell did that start up?”
“Well—I–”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
Both Finn and Rey scream, the safety belt the only thing keeping them from slamming their heads into the ceiling when they jumped.
Behind them Kylo Ren hunkers in the doorway, the darkness of his clothes nearly blending in with the rest of the unlit ship.
“What— how –” Finn squeaks. “Why are you here?!”
“I’m not letting the two of you get shot to pieces twenty meters into that place,” says Kylo. He pats her shoulder. “Let me in the pilot seat.”
Rey’s mouth falls open. “In your dreams .”
“Do you have a plan for flying past the shields on the planet?”
“Well, I–” Rey stops. No, she did not. “I was going to figure it out on the way there.”
Kylo Ren gives her a flat look and crosses his arms.
“When exactly did I have time to come up with a plan?” she retorts. “We just left the base not ten minutes ago!”
“Well lucky for the three of us, I already have one,” says Kylo. “And I need to be the pilot because it’s . . . risky.”
“Great,” mutters Finn. “I love to hear that.”
Maybe it’s bravado, maybe it’s seeing Kylo Ren maskless and vulnerable, but whatever fear Finn held onto as a stormtrooper has dissipated.
“What’s risky about it?” Rey asks, wary.
“The shields have a fractional refresh rate. They detect anything that comes less than light speed, so . . . they can’t detect you if you land coming out of lightspeed.”
“ Land on the planet –”
“ Coming out of lightspeed? ”
Rey and Finn yell simultaneously, looking up at Kylo Ren with identical shocked expressions.
“What?” he demands. “You have any other ideas?”
“You think you can pull that off?” Finn asks. “Or are we going to smash into that planet like a bug on a windscreen?”
“I can pull it off,” Kylo says with bravado that clearly is partially faked. “My dad was—is—a good pilot, and my uncle was one of the best.”
“Well, then I’m your co-pilot,” says Rey. “Finn, get out of my seat.”
“Wow,” Finn drawls, but he jerks the seat strap off and stands up, muttering the whole time. “There’s only two seats here. Where am I supposed to sit now?”
“There’s the bed,” offers Rey, sliding into his seat.
“Or the fresher,” Kylo adds.
“The fresher! You want me to ride out a hyperspace landing on the toilet? ”
Rey bites the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at the sheer outrage on his face.
“Sorry, Finn,” she says instead. “You can have the co-pilot seat on the way back?”
“The toilet , Rey. I’m going to remember that later.” He fixes her with another dark stare before ducking through the doorway down the tiny hall to the fresher.
“You’re in trouble now,” Kylo murmurs to her.
“Why am I in trouble? This was your idea!”
“Clearly he’s blaming it on you.”
Finn’s voice echoes down the short hallway. “What the hell happened in here? This place is a mess! ”
Rey’s gaze jerks guiltily to Kylo, her cheeks heating up in a flush she’s grateful Finn can’t witness. A flush of his own travels down the side of his neck.
“Turbulence,” she calls out in reply.
“In space?” Finn ducks back out into the hallway and leans over Rey’s chair, his voice by her ear.
“You got some explaining to do when this is all over,” he whispers. “I’ll take my chances in the bunk.”
Kylo gives her another side-eyed look before his fingers fly over the console, flipping switches and typing in coordinates.
The next moment, the ship launches into hyperspace, the stars elongating into bright lines that fascinate Rey no matter how many times she sees it.
“How did you get General Organa to let you go?” Finn asks from the bunk. “She seemed dead set on having you with her. You didn’t, like, mess with her head, did you?”
Rey jerks her gaze back to Kylo. “Can you do that?”
He snorts. “Yes. But no Force user in this galaxy or the next could get my mother to do something she didn’t want to do. I just told her you two would be dead on arrival if I didn’t go with you. And that I’d go with or without her blessing.”
“I bet she loved to hear that.”
“She was pissed. But what else is new?”
A thread of resentment runs through his tone. Rey doesn’t know what happened when he turned or what led up to it. It surprises her to see evidence of past struggles between him and his family when Organa embraced him with such tenderness. In her naive, orphan heart she thought Kylo had somehow been stolen from them. But maybe things with his family are not as simple and sweet as she thought.
Still, part of her remains deeply envious of it.
Rey reaches out and lays her hand on his forearm. “I’m glad you’re here.”
His gaze flickers over his shoulder to where Finn lies on the bunk. “That makes one of you. But . . . thanks.”
They spend the rest of the short trip discussing strategy. Rey, still wearing her first order jumpsuit, will sneak in first through one of the service entrances. Then, she will slice into the nearest computer for a map of the base, steal a second jumpsuit for Finn, and smuggle him in while Kylo slips in and disables the planetary shields. Then Kylo will use himself as a distraction while Rey and Finn disable the firing mechanism. If they can’t get back to this ship, they steal whatever TIE fighter they can and take off to Dantooine where the rest of the Resistance will meet up.
It’s not the best plan. It’s not even a great plan. There are so many ways it could go wrong. But it’s the only one they have on such short notice. It will work because failure is not an option.
The console beeps, signaling their impending destination.
“Hunker down, everyone,” says Kylo, hands gripping the steering. “This is not going to be an easy landing. Get ready, Rey.”
Rey tightens her safety belt just as they burst out of hyperspace and straight for a large cliff.
“ Pull up! Pull up!” Rey shrieks.
“I am pulling up!” Kylo yells, the ship veering sharply upwards, the bottom scraping against the rock. From somewhere behind them comes a loud thump and a curse from Finn.
Trees fly past and break against the viewport. Rey winces at the damage it must be causing the sleek hull. If Maz ever gets this ship back, it certainly won’t be in the condition in which she lent it.
“You have to pull up!” she yells.
“If I pull up any higher, they’ll see us!”
Kylo yanks on the brakes, and they skid across the ground, sending pure white scattering everywhere. The ship itself slows to a halt just on the edge of another cliff.
For a moment they all sit there, trying to push their hearts from their throats and back into their chests.
“Well,” says Kylo. “Another happy landing. Come on.”
He unbuckles himself and leaps from the pilot’s chair. Rey follows suit.
“Finn, are you alright?” she calls.
“Yeah,” groans Finn, sprawled onto the floor. Kylo stops to pull him to his feet before slapping the button for the door. “Lets never fucking do that again.”
Rey rushes over to him, checking his face and limbs for anything broken. Finn’s hands come up to grip hers.
“Rey,” he says, voice soft and serious. “What happens if we can’t trust him?”
It’s a question that has haunted the back of her mind this entire trip. So much depends on Kylo. She doesn’t truly believe that he would go through so much just to betray his family again. But naivety was one of the first things to die after her parents left.
“Then we have each other,” she says.
“Come on, you two! We don’t have time to waste.” Kylo’s voice comes from below the ramp.
“Let's get this over with,” Finn sighs.
Together, they walk down the ramp into the deepest cold Rey has ever felt.