Chapter Text
It was barely the beginning.
Xin Zhao had yet to understand that fully, it took time to register the latest changes in his life. First the whole thing about being injured, then later confessions and now he had slept for a few hours with the King of Demacia. From Noxian jails to the royal bedroom, there was a stretch and somehow he did it.
It slowly caught up with him a few days after that sweet night. Sadly he wasn’t able to stay long or his absence would be noticed but it was enough to give him hope. And then to realize they could repeat that so many times since it didn’t look like anyone noticed.
But one at a time, slowly.
A week wasn’t exactly long to wait and it wasn’t so short either. More than once Xin Zhao found himself quietly wondering about that time. He had had a first taste, now he needed more. At least now he already knew how nice it had been to hold his lover as they slowly fell asleep. Pure joy, so peaceful. No doubt it was going to be the same once they found time to do so. All he had to do was to be patient and plan this carefully just like the first time.
Plus it wasn’t their only time together. Just like that first day after their night together, King Jarvan had found an excuse to meet. They took care not to draw too much attention but it remained quite normal for a royal guard to stay close to said King.
At least once per day, twice if possible after enough time.
Sometimes it was just a kiss behind closed doors if King Jarvan managed to catch him long enough, more often they had to settle for a few longing gazes at each other during councils or anything that involved the court or other people.
Oh he remembered one exact time when they could go to the library. These occasions weren’t so often because again, the King was busy and he didn’t have much free time. So they ended up at that far library, first enjoying some liquor and once Xin Zhao had soothed his own worries, they got a little more affectionate. From mere hand holding to passionate kisses and embraces, as alcohol helped. He remembered it because it was such a dear time, yet another occasion for privacy and so far they had never been bothered. It was there that they discussed their plans for the following night together, choosing carefully a day without any kind of difficulties.
Soon they would be together again, soon they would find peace with each other.
~
Don’t get used to it…
For sure, it wouldn’t have terrible consequences if Xin Zhao did get used to these nights but he wanted to prevent this, at least by safety. What they were doing wasn’t safe, far from it. Only thanks both their cautiousness could it take place, which already required a lot of attention to details.
No need to risk it all by being careless, it wasn’t difficult to guess how bad it could turn if anyone found him in King Jarvan’s bed. Maybe being in the bedroom wasn’t that strange because his duty could require him to do many things but beyond that, it would doom them without a doubt. So yes he preferred not to get used to it, not to let his guard down.
He thought about it because that same evening they were going to meet again once night had fallen.
A mere night together, a few hours to sleep in each other’s arms until Xin Zhao felt like he had overstayed his welcome.
Tonight.
In all honesty, he was really forward to that time. It made sense because they found privacy that they could never get any where else. The library wasn’t the same, hidden corridors and quiet offices weren’t the same. The bedroom truly had its own kind of intimacy that they both relished as soon as they put doors between them and the rest of the world.
How many nights already ?
Not that many but Xin Zhao kept counting them, cherishing every single one to its worth. So far they had slept together four times. Four times they had been able to slip away from the harsh reality of the kingdom for a few hours, finding peace and love with occasional blushes and sweet words. Yes, even after the first night Xin Zhao struggled a little at staying calm once they got under the blankets. It was so soothing to be right there and yet he would always get that same fluster no matter what.
Ignoring the truth wouldn’t help his case.
He’s just so…
No words could efficiently describe that feeling. All he knew was the consequences of such feelings, the fluster that never left, these lovely butterflies thrumming back to life once he got the privilege to lie down against King Jarvan’s bare chest. This was the origin of everything, privileges. Or how he considered it. Love wasn’t a privilege, it merely happened and now they were blessed by such deep mutual care, it felt like the last piece of the puzzle. Although it wasn’t love that reduced him to such a mess of concealed reaction, more like a need for skin and presence. Not even in the crude sense it could have, Xin Zhao merely wanted curl up against the latter, to snuggle until they found sleep. It felt so natural and so he felt ashamed of himself.
Stop.
These thoughts weren’t useful while he was on duty, he risked to get caught idling – which never happened but better be safe than sorry. Never caught slipping and it wasn’t about to start, not when he had a new reason to fulfill his duty.
Patience, again. He had to wait until that evening, when at last it would be safe enough to slip into the royal quarters. Only then would he feel like himself, free to love.
One night after the other.