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everything (is what you are to me)

Chapter 6: jealousy (the often irrational envious resentment of someone else because they need to keep their dirty manicured hands to themselves)

Summary:

a girl from seventh starts to take an interest in moss, and roy is *not* happy about it

warning(s): jealousy, mentions of insecurity, shouting, arguments

Notes:

hallo, back again!!! another shorter chapter, but i hope you enjoy this :)

thank you to my wonderful beta @Demonic_Angel_511 for putting up with me and proofreading/providing the first review of all of these chapters! couldn't do it without you <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The first time Roy noticed it happening, he wasn’t exactly sure what to think. 

He had been alone in the basement, hoping the phone would not ring, when he got a sudden feeling that he had to go upstairs. He didn’t know why. There was no reason for him to need to. Moss was up on Floor Seven, helping some girl with her computer. Roy had wanted to go up himself, but Moss had cast him a look and told him that he would sort it out just fine by himself. 

Rising from his chair, he took a look around the office. Jen was on her lunch break, so she probably wouldn’t be back for a while. Would it really hurt the clientele if they had to figure out their own computer problems for a while? No, it wouldn’t. 

He got up and found himself bounding up the stairs (even though the elevator had been fixed a couple of weeks ago) towards the seventh floor. When he got there he was panting a little, and had to take a moment to catch his breath against a hidden corner. He took a deep breath, brushing himself down and rounding the corner. 

Moss was standing by the far wall, next to the Floor Seven offices. He had his back to where Roy was standing. In front of him, her eyes fixed on Moss, was one of the Floor Seven girls. She was called Candy, a new girl that hadn’t been there more than a month. She must have been the one who had called for her computer to be fixed. She was twisting her long ginger hair around her finger, and as Roy watched on she began to laugh a fake, high-pitched laugh. 

That’s when Roy’s interest started to pique. As much as he loved Moss, the man’s humour (especially when it was intentional) wasn’t exactly what most would consider hilarious. He couldn’t see Moss’ face, and he didn’t dare move to be able to see it lest his boyfriend notice him. Candy was smiling up at Moss, a stupid smile that made Roy want to slap her in the face. She reached up and rested her hand on his upper arm. 

He didn’t bat her away. 

Nope. Roy had seen enough. He strode forward, clearing his throat just as he reached Moss. Both Candy and Moss looked over him. Candy lowered her hand from Moss’ arm. 

“What are you doing up here?” Moss asked. His words were accusatory, but his tone was soft. 

“I just wanted some food,” Roy said quickly. He was, of course, lying through his teeth. “Yeah, the best machines are on this floor.” 

“You could have just called m--” 

“Well I’m here now, aren’t I?” Roy interrupted. He turned to Candy as he put on his best fake smile. “Hi, I’m Roy.” 

“Candy,” she replied with a warm smile. “Have we met yet?” 

“No, I don’t think we have.” 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you anyhow.” 

The three of them made small talk for another few minutes, then Roy realised he couldn’t get away with this for very much longer and bid them farewell. He had to consciously remind himself not to kiss Moss as we walked away. 

He was cursing under his breath the whole time whilst he was feeding coins into the vending machine. Since he was only down the corridor from the two, he couldn’t help his eyes shifting to the side, watching them from the corner of his peripheral vision. They were talking and laughing together. Clenching his teeth together, he forced himself to look back to the vending machine. Inevitably he looked back, just in time to see Candy lean forward and tuck something into Moss’ top pocket. She stood on her tiptoes, planted a kiss on his cheek and smiled at him before turning on her heel and sashaying away back into the office. 

Roy grabbed his chocolate bar and walked the opposite way to Moss to get back downstairs.

He spent the rest of the day glaring at his computer screen, playing aggressive computer games and ignoring Moss and Jen. When five o’clock came around, he tried to get Moss to go back to his mum’s, claiming that he had housework to do, but his boyfriend had offered to help and he hadn’t known how to convince him otherwise. 

Curiosity was eating away at him. What had been on that paper that Candy had put in Moss’ pocket? Why had Moss let her kiss him on the cheek? Why hadn’t he stopped her in her tracks? 

All night, all through dinner and watching whatever movie they had put on that night (Roy had not been paying attention) Moss was on his phone. In fact he barely looked up from it. The screen was constantly lighting up, catching Roy’s eye. Even as he poked his head into the bedroom as he did his teeth, Moss was sat on the edge of the bed, still on his phone as he yawned and absent-mindedly rubbed one eye. He shook his head, finishing up what he was doing before going over and plucking the phone out of Moss’ hand. Moss looked up at him, mouth dropping open as he reached up to try and take it back. Roy clicked it off, holding it up high. Moss pouted at him. 

“Come on, it’s late,” Roy said. Moss made a face at him, folding his arms over his chest. “What are you even doing, anyway?” 

“Candy wants my help on a website she’s making,” Moss replied. Whilst Roy was distracted, he jumped up and took his phone back. “I told her I would.” 

“Yeah, the website isn’t the only thing she wants,” Roy mumbled under his breath. Moss fixed him with a sharp look. 

“What did you say?” 

“Oh nothing, just talking to myself,” Roy said. He cleared his throat, coming round to sit next to his boyfriend on the bed. “Just tell her you’ll talk to her tomorrow.” 

“She was just asking if we could go for coffee on Saturday to talk about it,” Moss replied, not looking up from where he was typing on his phone. “I’ll just let her know that I can and then I’ll put it down, okay?” 

“Yeah, okay,” Roy said.

Except it wasn’t okay. It was far from okay. Most of the night Roy lay awake, a million possibilities running through his head. They were going for coffee. Alone. Just the two of them. He’d already let her kiss him on the cheek, would he try to stop her if she went to kiss him on the lips? Anyway, everyone knew that “going for coffee” almost always ended in something more than coffee. They’d been texting all night, and presumably all afternoon as well. Moss had ignored him all night for this girl! Who he didn’t even know! 

Somewhere around one a.m, he looked over to Moss. His boyfriend was fast asleep, curled on his side with one arm thrown across Roy’s stomach. He still had his glasses on. Roy shook his head, reaching forward and gently removed them, putting them on the bedside table. For a little while, he watched his boyfriend sleep. 

He sighed, shaking his head as he lay down, wrapping his arms around Moss’ middle. It’d be fine. He knew Moss. 

***

For the rest of the week, Roy found himself noticing little things, here and there. All of a sudden he was noticing whenever Moss went upstairs to “help someone with their computer”. Every time Moss’ phone pinged and the man wasn’t there to see it straight away, he found himself resisting the urge to go over and look at the notification. As the week rolled on, he went up to the seventh floor vending machine so many times a day that he had to break out the old machine he’d built back when Jen was still new and Deynholm was in charge. Jen was starting to notice his constant sidewards glances, and kept trying to question him. Every time he resisted, though. 

By the time Saturday came, Roy couldn’t help himself. All week he’d been battling against his curiosity, and now it was all too much. He waited until Moss had left, of course. He knew exactly where his boyfriend was going, as he had told him the other day. He left it enough time for Moss to get there and sit down before he left the house and followed him there. 

He wore his ratty hoodie from the back of the cupboard, hood pulled up of course, and one of his old pairs of stupid sunglasses. He drove to the little coffee shop, parking around the corner, and when he got there he immediately clocked Moss, sat by the window with that horrible woman opposite him. Roy took a shaky breath before walking into the shop. 

Luckily Moss didn’t look up. He kept his head bent low, ordering quietly and taking a seat in the darkest furthermost corner of the cafe. For the next forty-five minutes, he watched as Moss and Candy talked together. God, she was showing all the signs of flirtiness. Leaning forward towards him, laughing at his terrible jokes (the shop was small and Roy could hear everything they were saying: trust him, the jokes were awful), constantly looking down at his lips. Every time she leaned forward and touched him, maybe a hand on his arm or his shoulder, Roy felt as if he could go over there and throttle her. 

Even though Moss didn’t seem to be doing anything, somehow Roy’s fears that had been building all week still weren’t allayed. He had been about to get up and leave, to go home and cry into his pillow until Moss got home and he had to invent some stupid story, when he had hit his knee on the underside of the table trying to stand. Of course it made a bang, making the limited clientele of the shop all look up and over to him. 

Including Moss and Candy. 

Despite the shades and hoodie, Moss knew straight away that it was Roy. Slowly, Roy looked up from the floor to see his boyfriend glaring at him from across the shop. He considered running, but he knew it was no good. He walked over to the door of the cafe, staring at the floor. He heard Moss say something to Candy, and then a moment later Moss was next to him. 

“Car, now,” Moss hissed fiercely. 

Roy was so scared that he complied immediately. 

The car ride home was entirely silent. Moss was staring out of the window, a smouldering glare that made Roy wonder how the glass hadn’t melted yet. A queasy feeling was growing in the Irishman’s stomach. It was a strange nervousness that he didn’t think he’d ever experienced before, but it definitely was not anything he wanted to experience again. It was only a three-minute car ride, but it felt like three hours. 

As soon as the front door closed, the argument started. 

“Why the flip were you sneaking around after me?” Moss demanded. Roy shrugged, taking the sunglasses off and shrugging his hoodie off. 

“Don’t know,” he murmured, addressing the floor rather than his boyfriend. 

“Well there must be a reason! You didn’t just happen to be in the exact same place at the exact same time I was meeting Candy when you’ve been snooping on my phone all week!” 

“I haven’t!” Roy retorted. He looked up. 

“I know when someone touches my things, Roy.”

There was a pause. 

“Okay, one time, but it had been pinging for twenty minutes!” he admitted. Unconsciously his voice was starting to rise. “And I’m glad I did!” 

“For goodness’ sake, I told you I was just helping her with her website!” Moss replied. His voice was full of anger, but not raised in any way shape or form. “She’s done nothing to make you like this.” 

“Oh for God’s sake, she’s been flirting with you all week!” Roy shouted. 

Moss stopped. His mouth hung open a little as he stared at his boyfriend. He blinked at him. 

“W-what?” he whispered, his voice breaking a little. All of his anger seemed to have left him. 

“How have you not noticed it!?” Roy continued. Still his voice was loud. “She’s been touching you, leaning towards you, she even fucking kissed you on the cheek the other day! The way she speaks to you over messages looks like how someone speaks to someone they’re dating!” 

“Well, well, well…” Moss stammered. His eyes were starting to fill with tears. “Well, you’re just jealous that she’s not giving you all the attention!” 

I’m not fucking jealous! ” Roy screamed. “I couldn’t give less of a shit if she doesn’t like me! You have ignored me all week ‘cause you’ve been too busy talking to her!” 

“Why can’t you just trust me?” Moss said, his voice small and quiet. Roy threw his head back, laughing a little. Moss stared down at the ground, quickly wiping away the tears that were starting to fall. 

“Coming from the man who used to regularly say he doesn’t trust me.” 

“I do!” Moss complained, although he was addressing the floor rather than his boyfriend. “I trust you more than anyone in the world, and it hurts that you think I’d ever do anything like that to you.” 

“You’re so… oblivious!” Roy yelled. He threw his hands up, pacing the room. “Yeah, maybe you don’t want to, but she’d lead you on and lead you on, and before you knew it you’d be in bed with her without ever realising it!” 

“I wouldn’t,” Moss whispered, but he said it so quietly that Roy didn’t even hear it. 

“You’re feeding into her sick little game! By interacting with her and appeasing her, you’re basically telling her that you’re interested in her! She fucking… she fucking likes you, Moss, and you don’t even know! You think everyone is just here to be nice and lovely to you and they never want anything more than a friendship, but trust me, she would very much like to--” 

At this point, Roy had got just a little too close to Moss and had thrown his hands up a little too quickly. Moss winced harder than Roy had ever seen anyone wince before, his hands flying to cover his head. Roy stopped, suddenly realising that…

God, he had been jealous. 

His anger drained away immediately, and he felt truly awful as he looked at Moss essentially cowering there in front of him. Moss didn’t know. Moss didn’t make this girl like him, or make her flirt with him. Moss just wanted to help her with this website. It wasn’t his fault he struggled with recognising when people were showing their feelings towards him. Roy stepped forward, reaching forward and gently resting his hands on Moss’ arms. 

“Hey,” he murmured, making a conscious effort to lower his voice. He could feel Moss trembling. “Hey, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to shout so much. I just got really mad when I shouldn’t have done and I took it out on you.” 

Moss didn’t reply, but he lowered his arms and reached forward, wrapping his hands around Roy’s waist. He leaned his head against his boyfriend’s chest. Roy wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, holding him close. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, resting his head against the top of Moss’. “I should have trusted you.” 

“I’m not even attracted to her!” Moss said with a small, sob-filled laugh. 

“I know, baby.” 

“You shouldn’t have followed me.” 

“I know I shouldn’t have.” Moss leaned away, looking up at his boyfriend. His eyes were damp and there were still tears running down his cheeks. Roy reached up and brushed the tears away with his thumb. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I was jealous, but not because she was giving you attention. It’s because she was taking your’s away from me.” 

“Do you want me to stop helping her?” Moss asked. Roy took a moment to think about it, and then sighed heavily.  

“No,” he said eventually. “No, I trust you. Just… have a quiet word with her, yeah? Give her the NDA, let her down gently. It’s not fair on her to keep chasing something she can’t have.” 

Moss nodded. He dried his eyes, turning his head and resting his cheek back against Roy’s chest. 

“I’m still annoyed at you,” he mumbled. 

“Don’t blame you. I’d be annoyed at me too.” 

“I might watch the telly all day and banish you to the bedroom.” 

“That’s fine.” 

They kissed quickly, and Moss unwrapped himself from his boyfriend. He walked over to the sofa, sitting down and clicking the telly. He turned and fixed Roy with a look. 

Roy nearly started to see the funny side as he sloped off to the bedroom.

Notes:

i really hope you enjoyed this!! if you enjoyed, please leave a comment or a kudos, they really make my day! next update is out on tuesday :)

stay safe and happy, y'all xx