Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jeonghan was not happy, he was cold, tired and again he was cold. He'd experienced many winters over the course of seventeen years and he'd hated every single one of them. Yes the snow was beautiful but it was also a pain in the ass. It was all fun and jovial until it melted and soaked into your clothes and dripped into every possible orifice. Jeonghan had made it a resolution to be more optimistic going into the new year but it had lasted a whopping twenty-four hours, at least he tried.

Jeonghan wrapped his scarf tightly around his neck and quickly gave his room a once over before he walked down the stairs. He gave his mom a quick peck on the cheek as he passed her on the staircase and side-stepped his dad who was carrying bags of coffee beans under his arms. His family had owned a cafe for over ten years and every morning he was thankful for it -- easy access to coffee kept him a happy boy.

Their shop, Cafe Serenity, was a quaint two storey building tucked away in one of Seoul's residential districts and was easily distinguishable by its pastel blue exterior and wraparound patio. It stood out like a sore thumb among the various other industrial-looking architecture and it was the only cafe in the area with its own Victorian-styled flower garden -- they were fancy but not to the point where it was pretentious, Jeonghan loved it. He busied himself behind the espresso machine and whipped up two coffees, cappuccinos each with one sugar. He didn't bother with any design on the coffee's surface and popped a plastic lid on the two paper cups on the counter before grabbing his backpack from the floor where he'd unceremoniously dumped it.

Jeonghan zipped his parka up as far it could go and shrugged on his backpack all the while balancing the two coffees in each hand. The minute he stepped outside he shivered and quickly ran back in -- he'd said it a million times already but it was fucking cold. Bracing himself a second time he ventured outside and walked one building over to the bookstore nextdoor. He waited less than a minute before one of the store's heavy wooden doors opened and out came a tall boy dressed similarly with a messenger bag slung across his body. The boy's fox-like eyes were framed by rounded glasses and his head of chestnut brown locks were covered by a black beanie, a paperback novel was tucked under his arm.

"Fuck," Wonwoo said as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his parka.

"Morning to you as well, sunshine," Jeonghan said as he watched his neighbour walk carefully down the steps which were covered in a thin layer of ice.

"Winter needs to go," Wonwoo muttered as he took one of the steaming cups from Jeonghan's hands.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Jeonghan asked looking over at the dark circles behind the frames of Wonwoo's glasses.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead," Wonwoo answered nonchalantly as he took a sip from his coffee.

Typical Wonwoo.

They walked the two blocks down the road and made a left turn past a strip of small shops and boutiques -- every inch of the street was covered in a thick blanket of snow. They made a dash across the road before the traffic lights turned green, miraculously no coffee was spilt in the process. Jeonghan quickly shuffled under the cover of the train station scanning his T-money card, the platform was already brimming with people and the heavy snow was causing major delays. Jeonghan warmed his palms on the cup of coffee in his hands and curled into himself for warmth, fighting against hypothermia was not his idea of a good start to the school year. He looked down at his phone and immediately chewed at his lower lip, they were going to be late. Jeonghan ran a hand through his short brunette locks and let out a sigh, his warm breath creating a visible haze in front of him. He moved a few steps closer to Wonwoo in an attempt to leech off his body heat but it didn't help in the slightest.

"The train on platform thirteen will be arriving in one minute. We apologize for the delay and would like to thank you for your patience," a monotone voice announced over the speakers.

Jeonghan let out a sigh of relief at the announcement and felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. As he sipped his coffee Jeonghan's eyes began to scan up and down the platform aimlessly to distract himself. He immediately averted his eyes when two familiar faces appeared from the staircase leading down to the platform. Two tall boys wearing thick winter coats over their navy tracksuits came to a stop just beside where he and Wonwoo were standing. One had his backpack slung over one shoulder and earphones occupying each ear while the other a couple of centimetres shorter had a gym bag slung diagonally across his body while a large piece of toast occupied his mouth. Jeonghan ignored the taller one but gave a casual nod to the other. He treated the taller boy as if he wasn't there and he in turn returned the favour.

"The air's gotten thicker," Wonwoo commented under his breath as he looked over at the pair.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jeonghan said, eyes darting over to the boy beside him for a split second.

The taller boy beside him scoffed.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. Kim Mingyu, model student and regular member of the school swim team, looked like a daydream with his bronzed complexion and angular knife-like features but the boy was a pain in the ass -- more so than the snow. They'd been in the same classes since freshmen year and now in their third year of high school have miraculously not killed each other. The two were like water and oil and no matter how hard you shook those two components together they just didn't mix. Mingyu was competitive and Jeonghan was petty, they were a recipe for disaster and both parties knew that very well. Jeonghan tried to be civil with his classmate but Mingyu was pigheaded and the boy had a talent for bringing out the worst in Jeonghan. Every time they spoke Jeonghan wanted to hit the boy...in the face...with a shovel. Even when they didn't speak they somehow managed to get on each other's nerves, it was quite impressive really.

"Are you warm enough?" Wen Junhui, the shorter of the two swimmers, asked as he draped an arm around Jeonghan's shoulders.

"As warm as I can be without losing mobility," Jeonghan nodded as he tried to move under the excessive padding of his parka.

"I'm more than happy to share my body heat," Junhui whispered in Jeonghan's ear -- Jeonghan flinched.

"Too early in the morning for this, Wen Junhui," Jeonghan shook his head.

He and Junhui had been friends since Junhui's family had moved into the neighbourhood ten years ago. Junhui didn't speak a single word of Korean since he and his mother came from China but that didn't stop them from being friends. Junhui's mother owned a flowershop down the street so it was only natural that they would cross paths. With the help of Korean language workbooks from Wonwoo's family bookstore they'd managed to break the language barrier rather quickly. Junhui was a flirt and yes he laid it on a little thick but Jeonghan didn't mind it, he liked the playful smiles and delicate touches -- though he'd never openly admit it, no, he had too much pride for that. They weren't in a relationship but they were too intimate to be just friends -- they had no label but both parties were completely fine with it.

"You staying back to study today?" Wonwoo asked as the train finally approached the platform -- he completely ignored the flirtatious exchange happening in front of him.

"Maybe, maybe not," Jeonghan answered, whether he studied or not his grades never dropped. "I don't really need it."

"Humble, aren't we?" Mingyu's low voice muttered as the boy grabbed the beam over their heads once they filed into the carriage.

"It's the truth, does that bother you?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"People like you really make me angry," Mingyu shook his head before moving to the other end of the carriage.

"What's his problem?" Jeonghan brows knitted together.

"Would you blame me if I said I sympathise with the guy? I'd be frustrated too if I put in hours of study just to have a fellow classmate get the same results without even trying," Wonwoo said as he adjusted his glasses.

"Touché," Jeonghan nodded looking over at Mingyu who was gazing out the window, his jaw was clenched tight.

"Since your new year's resolution is already a bust, how about you start a new one?" Wonwoo turned to face the brunette.

"A new resolution? You're just lucky I even considered the first one," Jeonghan frowned.

"This is just a suggestion, do whatever you will with it -- I'm not forcing you," Wonwoo put up his hands in defense.

"I'm listening," Jeonghan said.

"How about you try and get along with Mingyu?"

"Impossible," Jeonghan replied.

"I second that," Junhui chimed in.

"Look, I know you two hate each other but give it a shot. Even if you don't end up being friends you could easily just find common ground and be civil -- you've literally got nothing to lose. The way I see it, the tension between you is just going to build and build until one of you finally snap. Mingyu is immature and you're triggering, fix it before you end up exchanging fists."

"I never pinned you as a pacifist," Jeonghan wasn't convinced.

"Again, just a suggestion," Wonwoo said as they reached their stop. "It's a new year, don't you think three years of this cold war is enough?"

"I'll consider it," Jeonghan answered, he gave a final look over his shoulder at Mingyu who quickly averted his eyes.

As they approached the school gates Jeonghan felt his mood turn more sour than it already was. The sight of the tall black fence that surrounded his school's perimeter always reminded him of a prison and in a way it was. Jeonghan liked his freedom, he liked being in control and he enjoyed living by his own rules -- which was exactly why he hated school. From the perfectly manicured lawns to the stuffy uniforms and seemingly endless list of assessments, Jeonghan hated it all. The systematic process of waking up only to be crammed inside a stale classroom just wasn't his idea of fun. He tried to convince himself that education was important but after three years of sitting behind a desk he couldn't lie to himself any longer. Despite his less than sunny disposition Jeonghan was a good student, an overachiever actually, he may have hated the educational institution but he wasn't stupid. He had the image of a model student down to an art and as a result no one knew about the salty creature who lived under his facade -- except for Wonwoo, Wonwoo knew everything.

They walked up the three flights of stairs to their classroom where they were immediately bombarded with loud noise. Jeonghan ducked just before a basketball flew past his head. Seungcheol, captain of the basketball team, gave a sheepish smile as Jeonghan glared at him on his way over to his desk. Jeonghan dropped his bag down beside his desk and assumed the position and by assume the position he meant finding a comfortable position so he could rest his head. He didn't get to enjoy his peace for very long before he felt fingers rifling through his hair, Jeonghan didn't need to look up to know who was touching him.

"Jun," Jeonghan gave a warning.

"A little prickly this morning, aren't we?" The hand fell away followed by a light chuckle.

Jeonghan lifted his head from the table quick enough to watch Junhui take a sip from his coffee cup. Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, he needed that. Junhui catching his friend's sullen look gave Jeonghan a wink and placed the cup back on his desk.

"Don't worry, I only took a small sip."

Jeonghan snatched the coffee back and chugged the remaining liquid, he wasn't taking any chances.

"Indirect kiss," Junhui whispered.

"Jun," Jeonghan gave a second warning.

"You two finished?" Mingyu walked past them to sit in the desk beside Jeonghan's -- the seating plan was decided through drawing lots, they were stuck with those seats whether they liked it or not.

"You jealous there Mingyu?" Junhui leaned over the back of his chair.

"Jealous? Have some common sense and leave your shameless flirting for when we're outside the classroom," Mingyu said as he pulled a laptop out of his backpack.

"Ouch," Junhui looked unaffected.

"I need more coffee," Jeonghan massaged his temples as the school bell finally rang.

As Mr. Song, his elderly and partially deaf history teacher, went on with the first lesson of the day Jeonghan felt himself slipping in and out of consciousness. He'd had the misfortune of having Mr. Song be his history teacher for two years in a row and going into the third with the senile educator was borderline abuse. Jeonghan massaged his nape and silently cursed hearing the vertibrae in his back crack and pop, the uncomfortable wooden chair was doing him no favours. He missed the comfort of his bed. Jeonghan spun the pen in his hand between his fingers with the occasional look at the wall clock that hung above the blackboard, time seemed to slow down whenever he was in Mr. Song's class.

"You seem to always be tired for someone who does nothing," Mingyu whispered as he typed away on his laptop.

"And you have too much energy for someone who does everything," Jeonghan shot back.

"That mouth of yours is going to get you in deep shit someday, Yoon Jeonghan," Mingyu shot the brunette a look from the corner of his eyes.

"I disagree with that statement," Junhui butted in.

"Last warning Jun," Jeonghan kicked the back of his friend's chair.

"What? I can't defend that pretty mouth on your behalf?" Junhui smirked before turning around and folding his arms behind his head.

"Absolutely revolting," Mingyu sneered.

Jeonghan shook his head smiling at Junhui's back.

By the time the period ended Jeonghan bolted right for the door without even a glance back behind him. He walked briskly down the hall and was about to turn the corner but an arm draped around his shoulders before he could make an exit. The familiar smell of Junhui's sandalwood cologne hit his nose. The taller boy's hand found its way back into his hair and didn't move.

"You working at the cafe today?" Junhui asked as they continued walking -- there was literally no space between them.

"Yeah, why?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"I'll drop by after my meeting with the swim team," Junhui said as they came to a stop in front of Jeonghan's locker, his head resting on Jeonghan's right shoulder.

"You know, as much as I enjoy seeing you rile up Mingyu, I think it might be time to grow up and try to get along," Jeonghan said as he put his history textbook inside the metal locker.

"What? Are you actually taking Wonwoo's suggestion seriously?" Junhui looked genuinely perplexed.

"New year, new me. Change isn't a bad thing," Jeonghan quoted the overused phrase with a shrug.

"So you say," Junhui's pursed his lips. "Jeonghan, I've known you for ten years of my life and in those ten years I've come to learn that you are the most stubborn person on the face of this planet, you're set in your ways -- change just doesn't happen. You still choose to peel a banana from the opposite end."

"Mingyu and my method of peeling a banana are two totally different ball parks, Jun," Jeonghan returned.

"Fine, you have a point," Junhui breathed.

"This weather is ridiculous," Jeonghan shivered as he rubbed his hands together.

"You always forget your gloves no matter how many times I remind you," Junhui held Jeonghan's pale elegant digits in his palms.

"It's not like I do it on purpose, I just forget after I'm done making my coffee in the morning," Jeonghan defended.

"Well aren't you lucky that you have me around?" Junhui smiled impishly as he held Jeonghan's fingers up to his mouth.

"For now, you're not going to be around for that much longer," Jeonghan pulled his hands away and disappeared down the hall.

"Jeonghan," Junhui mumbled as he watched the brunette walk away.

"Going back to China was a bad idea from the start," Wonwoo said as he opened the locker beside Jeonghan's.

"It's only for a year," Junhui defended. "I'm not leaving forever."

"You know how Jeonghan is, he'll worry about you even if it's an overnight trip," Wonwoo said.

"I'm definitely going to miss him," Junhui sighed.

"So are you going to tell him before you go?" Wonwoo shut the small metal door of his locker.

"Tell him what?" Junhui dodged the question.

"That you worship the very ground he walks on," Wonwoo offered.

"Maybe, maybe not," Junhui answered.

"You better do it before he realizes he deserves someone better than your narcissistic ass," Wonwoo nodded before walking off to his next class. "You're not the only fish in the ocean."

"You use a lot of fish metaphors for someone who can't eat seafood!" Junhui retorted, Wonwoo really didn't sugarcoat things.

"Cappuccino for Minseo!" Jeonghan called from the coffee counter.

He handed over the baby blue paper cup to a petite woman in a long trench coat before going back to empty out the coffee grounds from the portafilter. Being inside the heated interior of Cafe Serenity was a major upgrade from the drafty hallways of his high school. Unlike his school he was surrounded by the pleasant smell of roasted coffee beans and the sweetness of caramel sugar that wafted over from their in-house dessert kitchen. Jeonghan was in pure bliss...until he saw Mingyu come through the front door.

"Welcome to Cafe Serenity," Jeonghan said with a smile.

"I'm here to pick up a blueberry cheesecake," Mingyu said as he handed Jeonghan an invoice.

"Ah, so you're the son Mrs. Kim always talks about," Jeonghan nodded as he went to grab a cakebox from one of the refrigerators.

"Mm," Mingyu stared at Jeonghan as he moved around behind the counter.

Jeonghan tied a neat little pink ribbon on the box and sealed the top with a small Cafe Serenity sticker. He held out the box and Mingyu took it from the brunette's hands. Their fingertips grazed each other for a brief moment but Jeonghan could feel every callus as they brushed across his slender digits. Mingyu seemed to have noticed the contrast between their hands as he recoiled before turning on his heel.

"Be careful, I heard the snow's getting heavier around this time," Jeonghan said as he watched Mingyu's retreating figure. "Enjoy the cheesecake, I made that one."

Mingyu froze at the last statement but continued on his way. Jeonghan felt the corners of his mouth pull upwards in amusement. Maybe being nice to Mingyu wasn't so difficult afterall. He got back into the rhythm of making coffee and proceeded with his work until his father gave him a tap on the shoulder.

"Go on, I'll take care of closing," his dad said.

"Are you sure?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"Yes, I'm sure go wash up," his father ushered him down the narrow corridor that lead to the staircase.

Jeonghan gave his dad a look over his shoulder before heading upstairs. He treated himself to a long shower and allowed the scalding hot water to wash away everything from his day. By the time he stepped out it felt like he'd shed a layer of skin. He dressed himself in his favourite striped flannel pyjamas and blow dried his hair while brushing his teeth -- he was all about multitasking. When he settled in his room it was already nine o'clock at night. Just as he was about to start some light reading a knock on his door caught his attention.

"Hey," Junhui leaned through the threshold wearing his school uniform, he was holding a small bouquet of Baby's-breath in his right hand.

"You could've come over a little earlier," Jeonghan complained.

"Sorry, I had to help out my mom with the flower orders," Junhui smiled sheepishly as he set down the bouquet on Jeonghan's desk.

"It still surprises me that someone like you can create something like this," Jeonghan looked over at the elegant flower arrangement.

"Good to know you think so highly of me," Junhui sat down beside Jeonghan on the bed.

"Any particular reason why you decided to come over at this time of night?" Jeonghan asked.

"I just...I just wanted to get something off my chest before I left," Junhui chewed on his lower lip.

"What is it?" Jeonghan asked, he didn't like the way Junhui was acting -- it was like he was preparing to give bad news.

"I don't know how you'll react and it scares me," Junhui admitted.

"We've been friends for over a decade, Jun," Jeonghan whispered. "Unless you're telling me you're a fugitive on the run I won't be surprised."

Instead of using words Junhui moved his hands to cup each side of Jeonghan's head and leaned in, their breath mingled tickling his nose before he enveloped Jeonghan's lips in his. Jeonghan let out a surprised squeak. He could feel Jeonghan's temperature rise under his palms. Junhui finally pulled back and gave the brunette's flushed cheek a gentle caress.

"Jun," Jeonghan's eyes widened.

"Does that surprise you?"

Jeonghan swallowed.

"Didn't expect that, did you?" Junhui smiled down at Jeonghan.

"So you came all the way here to do that?" Jeonghan accused.

"Yep," Junhui shit-eating grin got even wider.

"Why now? You'll be leaving soon it's the worst possible timing, Jun," Jeonghan furrowed his brow.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder," Junhui defended.

"Not the time for fortune cookie bullshit either, Jun," Jeonghan plopped back on his bed.

"I really do adore you," Junhui laid down beside Jeonghan.

"Can I be honest here?" Jeonghan asked.

"Sure."

"I'm not all too shocked," Jeonghan said. "I just didn't expect you to finally admit it."

"Believe me, I thought about this for a long time, Yoon Jeonghan," Junhui looked him in the eye.

"What gave you the motivation to tell me?" Jeonghan asked.

"I want you, I don't want to see you snatched away from under my nose. I don't know if you've noticed but there is a lot of competition for your heart and I don't want to look back however many years later and regret this and ponder on what could have been."

"Have you seen me show any interest in your so called competition?" Jeonghan shuffled closer to Junhui. "You really aren't very observant. I let you drink my coffee, I don't let anyone else do that."

"Are you saying you love me too?" Junhui was all smiles.

"It's too early for that," Jeonghan covered Junhui's mouth with his palm.

"I think ten years is long enough don't you think?" Junhui said, his words muffled by Jeonghan's hand.

"You, sir, are manipulative," Jeonghan removed his hand.

"Birds of a feather flock together," Junhui chuckled.

"I don't remember you being so witty," Jeonghan touched Junhui's hair.

"I learnt from the very best."

"Damn right," Jeonghan said as he allowed their lips to lock a second time.

"Will you see me off at the airport?" Junhui laid down beside Jeonghan and reached for his hand.

"Yes," Jeonghan squeezed Junhui's hand in response.

"Don't forget about me while I'm gone, I'll come back and sweep you off your feet."

"You sound so confident."

"I like the chase, I think it'll be fun watching you slowly fall for me," Junhui admitted.

"You're one confident guy, Wen Junhui," Jeonghan looked over at his friend.

"I really do think we could be something amazing, you and I," Junhui gave the back of Jeonghan's hand a light peck.

"Just so you know this changes nothing. I'm still angry at you for leaving in the first place," Jeonghan huffed before turning away.

"What do I have to do to gain your forgiveness?" Junhui propped himself up on his elbow.

"Don't go to China," Jeonghan answered.

"Anything but that," Junhui clarified.

"Don't you dare flirt with other people, Wen Junhui," Jeonghan shot him a look.

"I won't," Junhui gave Jeonghan's forehead a peck.

"Good," Jeonghan said.

Junhui gave the feisty brunette another kiss on the forehead. Jeonghan still smelled like vanilla and caramel, a contrast to the boy's strong character -- Junhui loved it, he loved it so much.

"Call me the minute you land," Jeonghan said as he stuffed a hot pack into each of Junhui's coat pockets.

"I will," Junhui smiled down at Jeonghan as the shorter boy chewed at the corner of his lower lip.

"You better remember to message me, I'm not accepting emails," Jeonghan warned.

"I know, I know," Junhui smiled.

"I heard the air quality isn't too good over there so keep your nose and mouth covered when you're outside. There's a bunch of dusk masks in your backpack so use them and also-" Jeonghan's mouth was captured by Junhui's.

"I know, Jeonghan. You don't have to worry about me," Junhui assured.

"Three hundred and sixty-five days, Junhui," Jeonghan said. "That's a long time to be apart."

"I'll make the wait worth it, I'll come back and we can do all that sickeningly sweet couple stuff you always wanted," Junhui promised.

"You better, I'll have to live like a nun until you come back," Jeonghan pouted.

"I'll be back in no time, if I save up some money I can even visit you throughout the year. This won't be the last time you see me," Junhui pressed their foreheads together.

"Saying that won't make me miss you any less," Jeonghan complained.

"You're so honest today," Junhui noted.

"Would you rather I be aloof instead?" Jeonghan challenged.

"You can do whatever you want, my feelings for you won't change," Junhui pulled Jeonghan close, his lips pressed into the brunette's temple.

"I mean it, call me the minute your plane lands," Jeonghan whispered.

"I will," Junhui pressed another kiss on Jeonghan's temple.

"Last call for flight to Guangzhou, China at gate thirteen," a woman's voice announced over the loud speakers.

"I have to go now," Junhui looked down apologetically.

"Okay," Jeonghan nodded, he didn't look happy.

"Even if I'm not here just know I'm always thinking about you," Junhui said touching Jeonghan's cheek.

"I'm going to miss you," Jeonghan said.

"I love you," Junhui smiled.

"I love you too," Jeonghan replied, it felt strange hearing those words leave his lips.

"I'll be back," Junhui reminded for the millionth time.

"You better," Jeonghan said as he wrapped his arms around Junhui's neck.

"Bye," Junhui whispered as he gave Jeonghan's lips a final kiss.

"Bye," Jeonghan replied.

Junhui lied.

Flight QJ345 departing at gate thirteen from Incheon Airport never made it to its destination. Engine failure was the determined cause.

There were no survivors.

Chapter Text

It was so cold, so very cold yet his lungs were burning. He couldn't breathe, icy cold water entered his body with every inhale -- he was fading, he was dying. His eyes began to close, his limbs went limp and his heart began to falter. With his last ounce of strength he uttered his final words.

"I'm so sorry, Jeonghan..."

Jeonghan bolted up from his bed, his hand clutching at his heart. His breathing was ragged and his brow was slick with sweat. He put his head between his knees and took deep breaths keeping his eyes shut. The same dream had plagued him for weeks and it just didn't stop, it felt so real, too real. Jeonghan scooted up and rested his head against the wall behind him. It had been almost a month since Junhui's passing but for Jeonghan the wound was still very fresh. He'd been with Junhui's mother at the flower shop when they'd gotten the news, the poor woman fainted from pure shock. Jeonghan had been in denial praying that it was someone's idea of a cruel joke but that wasn't the case. Because of the airline's carelessness the aircraft had been given the clear to fly despite having an engine problem. The plane nosedived right into the ocean. Jeonghan cried, he'd cried until he made himself ill, so ill that he threw up bile.

"Jeonghan, sweetie," a knock on his door caught his attention.

"Yes mom?" Jeonghan answered, his voice sounded hoarse even to his own ears.

"Are you alright in there?" His mother's concerned voice asked.

"I'm fine," Jeonghan lied, he was anything but fine.

"Breakfast is on the table, at least take one bite," his mother's concerned voice urged before she walked back downstairs.

"I'll try," Jeonghan mumbled, he didn't have much of an appetite these days.

He gripped at his comforter staring blankly over at his desk where an empty vase sat beside his textbooks -- no one brought him flowers anymore, the vase no longer had a purpose. Jeonghan looked over at the framed photograph on his nightstand holding it up with pale fingers -- he'd gotten thinner, his knuckles stood out more than they used to. The photograph was of himself, Wonwoo and Junhui standing shoulder to shoulder wearing uniforms that were too big for their lanky frames. It was taken on their first day of freshmen year when Junhui had braces and Jeonghan still had long hair -- Wonwoo looked exactly the same, the only difference was the lack of dark circles under his eyes. Jeonghan's eyes focused on Junhui's smiling face and he felt his frown deepen. It still fucking hurt. Biting back tears Jeonghan swung his legs over the side of his bed and put on his slippers. He needed to get ready.

Jeonghan gave his hair free reign over what it wanted to do because in all honesty he didn't really care. He gave his brown locks a light tousle and got dressed before he went into the kitchen. The brunette eyed the cinnamon toast that sat on the dining table and felt a frown tug at his lips -- Junhui loved cinnamon toast. He picked up the piece of toast taking a single bite and promptly set it back down. One bite was more than enough. Just as he was about to head downstairs he froze at the top step and looked back over his shoulder. He forgot to grab his gloves. Jeonghan went back and pulled out a pair of gloves from the top drawer of his dresser, he ran his thumb over the soft woollen material. Junhui couldn't warm up his hands anymore. Jeonghan bit the inside of his cheek as he went downstairs. He made a cappuccino with one sugar and a simple hot chocolate for himself, his body just didn't seem to be able to process coffee the way it used to.

Wonwoo greeted him outside and Jeonghan handed his friend the cappuccino. From an outsider's perspective they looked completely fine but that was far from the truth, they were barely holding it together. Unlike himself, Wonwoo didn't cry in front of others, no, Wonwoo preferred to do that in private but even he couldn't hold his tears on the day of Junhui's funeral. They'd both stayed until the very end, greeting and thanking each guest for coming on behalf of Junhui's mother -- the poor woman had cried herself into a state of fatigue, it was hard to watch. He'd made it a habit to visit the older woman's flower shop a few times a week to check on her and keep her company. It was the least he could do.

"You've lost a lot of weight," Wonwoo commented as they walked to the train station.

"I know," Jeonghan replied, he'd heard that same comment plenty of times already.

"I really think you should talk to someone, Jeonghan." Wonwoo looked at Jeonghan from the corner of his eye. "Keeping everything bottled up isn't doing you any favours."

"I don't think I'm ready, I know it's been a month but I just...I just can't do it," Jeonghan licked his lips.

"Baby steps, Jeonghan, baby steps," Wonwoo gave him a pat on the back. "With every step you'll get closer to healing."

"I don't know if this wound will ever heal," Jeonghan mumbled as they made their way down to the platform.

Wonwoo didn't reply. Sometimes silence was better than words. Jeonghan needed a helping hand, not an open mouth.

They waited a little over two minutes and got on their usual train followed by their daily trek to school. Jeonghan gave Wonwoo a wave before disappearing into the main building and made his way down to the indoor pools located in the basement level. He walked past a few members of the swim team as they left and took a seat on one of the benches surrounding the pool's perimeter. Jeonghan had sat in the same spot on multiple occasions while he watched Junhui finish his training and had been there to hand the athlete a towel at the end of every session. It was sad knowing he would never have the opportunity to do it again. With a sharp exhale he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cold tiled wall behind him. It was so unfair.

"You okay there?" A familiar voice asked.

Jeonghan opened his eyes, Mingyu was staring at him wearing the school uniform and his hair was dripping wet. The boy looked like he'd just come out from the showers.

"I'd be lying if I said I was okay," Jeonghan answered, he didn't have the energy for sarcasm.

"I'm sorry about Junhui, must've been a shock," Mingyu said.

"You have no idea," Jeonghan took a shaky breath.

"I went to the funeral with some guys from the swim team, you looked busy so I didn't want to bother you that day," Mingyu balanced his weight from foot to foot.

"Thank you for coming, Jun would've appreciated it," Jeonghan swallowed a lump in his throat.

The swimmer moved over to the bench sitting beside the brunette -- their knees almost touching.

"Why did it have to be him?" Jeonghan asked as he looked at the rippling water of the pool, the smell of chlorine filled his nostrils with every inhale.

"That's life, you never know which day will be your last. It fucking sucks but that's the reality we have to accept," Mingyu sighed putting his hands in his pockets.

"Accepting it doesn't make me hate it any less," Jeonghan whispered as he felt a single tear escape from the corner of his eye.

"He was more than just a friend to you, wasn't he?" Mingyu asked.

"Much more," Jeonghan answered.

Jeonghan closed his eyes taking deep breaths, he refused to let someone hear him sobbing. He heard the sound of rustling fabric beside him before he felt a hand caress his face. Jeonghan opened his eyes to see Mingyu looming over him, the boy's thumb wiping away the tears that fell down his cheek. The boy's eyes were trained on him with an emotion he couldn't decipher.

"Again, I'm sorry about your loss," Mingyu said as he stared down at Jeonghan.

"Thanks," Jeonghan looked up at Mingyu through his dark curtain of eyelashes.

"I prefer seeing that lazy smile of yours, you look ugly when you cry," Mingyu said offering a small packet of tissues before turning his back and walking away.

Jeonghan scoffed feeling a smile tug at his lips, Mingyu's snarky remark somehow actually made him feel better.

Jeonghan hadn't intended on falling asleep in the library. He also didn't plan on leaving school when the sun had finally set but nonetheless that was the situation he was currently faced with. Luckily he didn't have a shift at the cafe or else his mother would've given him an asswhooping to remember. He vaguely remembered hiding out in the library in an attempt to wait out the heavy snowfall but had fallen asleep in one of the cubicles inside the study area. The quiet space combined with the gentle caress of the library's heating lulled him to sleep very quickly. He'd only woken up when he received a message from Wonwoo asking where he was.

Jeonghan shrugged on his backpack and walked down the three flights of stairs and silently cursed when he noticed the snow was now falling heavier than it did before -- he'd definitely made a mistake. He wrapped his scarf tightly around his neck and made his way out the front gates, unsurprisingly there were a number of students who were loitering around. He'd forgotten the fact that there were students who voluntarily chose to stay behind to study. He made his way to the station at a snail's pace because despite the unforgiving snowfall he refused to run, knowing his luck he'd probably slip on a patch of ice and end up being sent to the emergency room. Luckily he made it down to his platform with three minutes to spare, running on nothing but the hot chocolate he had in the morning, Jeonghan was ready for a hot meal the minute he got home. As he waited Jeonghan flicked through his phone checking his messages. Just as he was about to go back to his home screen Jeonghan's thumb hovered over Junhui's contact, the small display picture of Junhui's smiling face tugged at his heartstrings. He clicked on the boy's name and scrolled through the never-ending messages and felt himself smiling. Junhui's hobby was taking pictures of Jeonghan napping in strange locations, there were more photos than messages that were exchanged between them. The very last message he'd received from Junhui was bittersweet.

"I'm missing you already," Jeonghan read the message out loud, he could feel the lump forming at the back of his throat again.

Hearing the sound of the approaching train he pocketed his phone and cleared his throat while he waited for the two separate sets of doors to open. Jeonghan stepped onto the carriage and sat in one of the many unoccupied seats. He wasn't surprised by the lack of people on the train, it was nine o'clock at night on a weekday. Just as the carriage doors were about to close Jeonghan heard the loud thundering of feet before someone came barrelling in. He looked up to see a dishevelled looking Mingyu pressed against the other side of the carriage, the boy was breathing heavily as he slid down onto the ground just as the doors closed.

"You made it just in time," Jeonghan commented before closing his eyes.

As they rode the train together Jeonghan noticed something about Mingyu that peaked his interest. Cracking open an eye, Jeonghan looked over at the swimmer and noticed he was standing in the same spot as he did in the morning -- and every other morning for that matter. He'd never noticed it before but the taller boy seemed to always stand at the opposite end of the carriage looking out the window no matter how empty or full a carriage was, it was quite odd. Just as he was about to open his mouth to speak the train jolted to a stop causing Jeonghan to grab at his seat for dear life. Mingyu staggered as well but managed to catch himself on the beam above his head. The swimmer let out a curse under his breath. Before either of them could react the lights in the carriage flickered before leaving them in darkness. Jeonghan bolted upright, that didn't look good. He chewed at his lower lip as a nasally voice came over the train's speakers.

"I'm sorry to inform that there has been a power outage caused by severe weather conditions. This train will remain idle until the issue is resolved, we're sorry for the inconvenience and will try to get you home as quickly as possible. I will keep you posted of new information as it comes. Again, thank you for your ongoing patience and understanding."

"Fuck!" Mingyu shouted, the boy looked visibly distressed.

Jeonghan sat back down and hung his head. Great, just fucking great. He just wanted to go home. Pulling out his phone he left his mother a simple message notifying her of his situation and let out a deep breath, things couldn't have gotten any worse. Squinting through the dark carriage he could make out the lines of Mingyu's silhouette frantically pacing back and forth. The swimmer looked frantic. Jeonghan stood from his seat and slowly made his way over to the opposite side of the carriage using his phone as a flashlight. He touched the taller boy on the shoulder and immediately Mingyu shied away, his eyes darted wildly around the carriage and his brow was covered in sweat.

"Are you okay?" Jeonghan asked, his brows drew together in worry.

"No," Mingyu said through gritted teeth.

"You're Claustrophobic?" Jeonghan guessed.

Mingyu nodded once.

"Look at me," Jeonghan grabbed Mingyu's face.

The taller boy's eyes bore into Jeonghan's, his pupils shaking. He stroked the boy's cheeks gently and rhythmically as he took deep inhales and exhales urging Mingyu to follow. The swimmer's eyes drew shut, his dark eyelashes fluttered as he resisted the urge to panic. Jeonghan moved his hands to touch Mingyu's sideburns before raking through his hair and massaging the athlete's scalp. It was only when Mingyu's breathing began to even out that the boy had the courage to open his eyes again, his eyes focused back on Jeonghan's face.

"You're fine, just relax," Jeonghan said as he continued his gentle touches.

Just as he spoke the lights came back on and the train began to move. Jeonghan let go of the taller boy giving his shoulder a pat before going back to his seat. He picked up his backpack from the floor where it had fallen and settled it back into his lap. Jeonghan didn't speak or even look at Mingyu for the rest of the ride. It was just too fucking awkward. Once reaching his stop Jeonghan walked straight out and headed for the north exit, he was in the home stretch, a little more and he was back in the comforts if his own home. Unfortunately for Jeonghan he was greeted with a blizzard the moment he looked outside. There was zero visibility and the cold winds were rough -- it was like a scene right out of a documentary about the Antarctic, he wouldn't have been surprised if penguins began marching in front of him. Sticking his hands into his pockets Jeonghan chewed at his lower lip, it was a habit he just couldn't break. He was having an internal battle with himself, the reckless side of him wanted to make a mad dash and get home but his responsible side -- well...he didn't have a responsible side.

From the corner of his eye he noticed Mingyu biting his thumb nail as he too looked like he was having an internal battle. Before the boy bolted from the station's overhead shelter Jeonghan grabbed the swimmer by his wrist. Mingyu jerked around giving Jeonghan a quizzical look.

"Your house is too far, you're going to freeze to death," Jeonghan reasoned.

"I can't camp out here, I have to get home," Mingyu tried to break away from Jeonghan's grip.

"Mingyu, you're not going to make it. It's an accident waiting to happen. If you're uncomfortable staying at the station, you can come chill at the cafe until the snow lets up," Jeonghan found himself saying, he didn't think very highly of Mingyu but he didn't want the guy to freeze to death getting home.

"Fine," Mingyu agreed, surprisingly.

"You're agreeing?" Jeonghan asked incredulously. "You're not going to argue with me?"

"Are you retracting your offer?" Mingyu cocked a brow.

"No it stands, I just didn't expect you to cooperate," Jeonghan said letting go of the taller boy's wrist.

"How do you plan on getting us back to the cafe?" Mingyu looked over at Jeonghan waiting for a response.

"Haul ass and get there before the frostbite does!" Jeonghan shouted before making a dash out from under the shelter.

"Oi! Wait!" Mingyu trailed after him.

The two ran the three blocks through the heavy snow with only the streetlights above their heads lighting their way. Jeonghan wanted to complain but he resisted, he didn't want to risk getting a mouthful of snow. From the sound of crunching snow underfoot and rustling of fabric he could tell Mingyu was still behind him. When he finally saw the familiar sight of golden light radiating through Cafe Serenity's large windows, Jeonghan finally slowed to a jog and finally stopped in front of the white picket fence. Mingyu joined him a few seconds later, the boy's brow was covered in sweat despite the blistering cold -- the swimmer seemed to be able to heavily sweat no matter the climate, interesting.

"Come on," Jeonghan nodded toward the cafe's entrance.

They walked up the wooden steps to the patio where Jeonghan pulled out a key from his trouser pocket and unlocked the front door. He stepped aside allowing Mingyu to enter first before closing the door behind them. The interior of the cafe was perfectly warm and the lingering smell of roasted coffee beans and caramel sugar immediately improved his mood. Jeonghan removed his parka and threw it one of the mahogany tables gesturing for Mingyu to take a seat. The swimmer set down his bag and sat down in the dainty chairs, he looked completely out of place. Jeonghan smiled to himself as he went upstairs to give his parents a greeting and returned downstairs where he busied himself behind the espresso machine. Tiptoeing to look over the top of the machine he looked over at Mingyu.

"Did you want anything to drink?" Jeonghan asked.

"Anything that's not coffee," Mingyu said as his eyes scanned the cafe's interior.

"Hm," Jeonghan pondered as he thought.

He put some milk into a metal jug and stuck it under the steam wand and frothed up the content until it reached the right temperature. He poured the contents into a simple white cup and placed it on a saucer before grabbing a slice of blueberry cheesecake from the cake cabinet and setting it on a plate, he brought both over to Mingyu's table. Jeonghan returned back behind the coffee counter making a maple latte for himself and cleaning up his mess. He removed his sweater hanging it on the hook behind the counter before joining Mingyu at the table. The swimmer stared at him as he sat down.

"If you have something to say or ask, just spit it out," Jeonghan said as he blew on the surface of his maple latte before taking a sip.

"Blunt as always," Mingyu said, eyes trained on Jeonghan watching his Adam's apple bob as he drank.

"Get to the point, please," Jeonghan set down his cup.

"You've been acting awfully nice, you could say I'm a little suspicious," Mingyu said eyeing the half drunken milk, only three small crumbs remained of the blueberry cheesecake.

"I've always been nice," Jeonghan defended.

Mingyu didn't look convinced.

"Wonwoo suggested being nicer to you would make both our lives easier, I agreed," Jeonghan finally admitted.

"So you're just being nice because Wonwoo told you to?" Mingyu folded his arms over his chest.

"Yup," Jeonghan nodded.

Mingyu shook his head, he was completely taken aback by Jeonghan's honesty.

"Since we're here, I'd like to ask you some questions of my own," Jeonghan said crossing his leg over the other.

"Go on."

"Why do you hate me so much? I can literally count the number of times we've spoken on my two hands. I generally mind my own business unless provoked, so why the hate?" Jeonghan leaned back in his chair.

"Don't put words in my mouth, I never said I hated you," Mingyu muttered.

"Then why are you always such a dick?" Jeonghan questioned the swimmer.

"Me? I'm the dick? You've done your fair share of instigating and you know it, Yoon Jeonghan," Mingyu huffed.

"Instigating? I'll have you know that in all the times we've interacted, it's always you who opens your mouth first," Jeonghan wasn't backing down.

"Fine, I admit it. I was wrong, you happy?" Mingyu tapped his finger on the table, clearly agitated. "Everything about you irritates me so much."

"Everything? Elaborate because I'm having a hard time following," Jeonghan sipped the last of his maple latte. "I keep our interactions to a minimum and I don't even look in your direction or breathe the same air, how could I possibly bother you?"

"Exactly, you act as if I don't exist," Mingyu looked away. "This 'I'm holier-than-thou' attitude of yours is the reason why I can't stand you. The arrogant look and that smug grin you always flash when you beat me at something. I can't fucking stand it! We're both going down the same path yet somehow yours is a smooth flowery one and mine is lined with obstacles. It's not fucking fair!"

"I'm sorry but your circumstances are out of my control. I'm sorry you feel that way but it's not my fault. You can resent me all you want but it doesn't change the fact that I have nothing to do with you being unhappy."

"You're really a piece of work, you know that?" Mingyu said.

"I don't understand, what is it that you want from me exactly?" Jeonghan folded his arms over his chest.

"At least acknowledge my existence, I'm not an inanimate object," Mingyu stood from his chair and shrugged on his backpack.

"You have a mouth, Mingyu. Communication might not come as easy to you but at least try. We could've easily solved something like this if you'd have just brought it to my attention." Jeonghan ran a hand through his hair. "This literally could've been avoided if you just said so in freshmen year, Mingyu. You've had three years, that's a fucking long time, one thousand and ninety-five days to be exact."

"I'm sorry, I'm stubborn okay?" Mingyu didn't look Jeonghan in the eye, the boy was either flustered or embarrassed, he couldn't tell.

"Okay, then let's start fresh. Hi, I'm Yoon Jeonghan. I work part-time at my parent's cafe and I like to sleep. Nice to meet you," Jeonghan extended a pale elegant hand over to Mingyu.

"Hi, I'm Kim Mingyu," Mingyu replied after a short silence, his larger hand engulfing Jeonghan's.

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"No, it wasn't," Mingyu said.

"I promise I won't be an arrogant ass and you in turn have to improve your social skills because aside from that handsome face of yours, you're about as charming as...well...I have no comparison. That's how bad your social skills are," Jeonghan teased.

"You're really quite the piece of work, Yoon Jeonghan," Mingyu scoffed repeating his earlier statement, his lips pulled into a smile.

"I'm aware," Jeonghan nodded, he'd been told that many times over the course of his life.

"How Jun managed to put up with you I'll never know," Mingyu said.

"He's had over ten years of experience, we're kindred spirits," Jeonghan smiled sadly. "Well, we were."

"Sorry, shouldn't have brought him up," Mingyu apologised.

"No, it's fine. I have to come to terms with it sooner or later," Jeonghan sighed. "He's not here anymore. I can't deny the truth."

"I should get going, the snow's finally stopped," Mingyu headed for the door. "I'll leave before it turns into a blizzard."

"Okay, get home safe," Jeonghan stepped around the swimmer and unlocked the front door.

Just as Mingyu stepped outside the threshold he stopped for a brief moment before turning around. His dark eyes bore into Jeonghan's. The swimmer's brows wriggled as if he was questioning whether to say something or not. Jeonghan rubbed his hands together as he waited for the taller boy to speak. After he was met with silence Jeonghan opened his mouth first.

"I guess I'll see you at school," Jeonghan said as he started to close the door since Mingyu wasn't saying anything -- he was fucking cold. "I won't tell anyone about what happened on the train."

Mingyu's large palm pushed back on the door. The swimmer bent down until Jeonghan could feel his warm breath tickling his upper lip. That was when Mingyu gave his cold trembling lips a kiss. A fucking kiss. Jeonghan's eyes widened, he froze completely in shock. Mingyu extended back to his full height touching Jeonghan's lower lip before turning away.

"I lied, you're actually quite pretty when you cry," Mingyu said as he disappeared down the street leaving a shell shocked Jeonghan standing at the door.

"What the actual fuck?" Jeonghan mumbled as he closed the door.

Chapter Text

Wonwoo was worried, he was worried for multiple reasons. He'd been watching Jeonghan rather closely over the past month and with every passing day he was growing more concerned for his friend. At first it was the dark circles that caught his attention, Jeonghan loved sleep so the fact that his friend wasn't sleeping was already a red flag. Then it was the weight loss, Jeonghan had never been heavy to begin with but as of recent he'd noticed the brunette's cheeks looking more hollowed and his overall physique appearing more frail. Sure he voiced his concerns with the young barista but it seemed to fall on deaf ears, Jeonghan brushed it off despite the obvious signs. Wonwoo had given up on discussing it with Jeonghan out of pure frustration, they needed time away from each other. They'd been attached at the hip ever since Junhui's passing and the closeness was getting to both of them. They fed off each other's negativity and negativity was the last thing they needed.

Dumping his laptop inside his bag, Wonwoo gave Jeonghan a wave from the classroom door and he exited the school building. He walked out the school gates pulling his beanie lower over his head and buried his face into the thick scarf wrapped around his neck. Wonwoo popped his novel into the inner pocket of his coat and got on the first train headed back to his neighbourhood. He'd been travelling home alone a lot and the change had been rather difficult. As much as Wonwoo hated to admit it he didn't like travelling on the train by himself. Yes he liked his personal space but after years of having Jeonghan and Junhui as his travel buddies the trips felt longer and it was just so...lonely. He missed Jeonghan's pointless banter and he missed Junhui's shameless flirting -- he missed having friends. Giving each other space was his idea but as the days went by he was regretting it more and more. Being alone sucked.

Wonwoo adjusted his glasses and immediately flinched as the cold metal of the frames touched his face. He got off at his station and began his leisurely pace back to the bookstore. As he walked he noticed someone walking several metres ahead of him with a puffy white hat plopped on his head. From the distance anyone would've mistaken the hat as some type of furry animal -- it was just a strange choice of headwear. Wonwoo only knew one person who owned such an outlandish item. It was definitely Kwon Soonyoung.

Instead of making his presence known, Wonwoo kept silent. He was curious as to why Soonyoung, his classmate who lived in a different neighbourhood, was wandering around in the snow. Soonyoung continued to walk unaware of a stalking Wonwoo and passed by Cafe Serenity before heading down the road and straight into Junhui's mom's flower shop. Wonwoo cocked a brow. Why the flower shop? Curiosity got the better of him, the fox-eyed boy snuck over to the shop and scratched away the layer of frost on the store's glass window. Squinting past a display bouquet of roses he spotted Soonyoung behind the counter with his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hands occupied with a bunch of various flowers. The boy's slanted eyes were focused on the task in front if him while his lips were pouted in concentration. Wonwoo felt his lip twitch, it was a smile that lasted only a second before he shook it off.

From what he remembered, Soonyoung was Junhui's teammate from the swim team. Wonwoo was sure he'd seen the hamster-looking boy on different occasions but they've never actually talked -- they didn't have a reason to and Wonwoo wasn't exactly the easiest person to approach. His eyes intimidated people, he knew that. Despite his intention of heading home, his feet had other plans. They lead him straight inside the shop. Wonwoo was hit with floral scents the minute he was inside -- he'd missed the familiar smell of the flower shop. Soonyoung's head snapped up from the bouquet in his hands and the boy immediately bowed.

"Welcome to 'Honeysuckle!'" Soonyoung shouted as he tied a large red ribbon onto his finished bouquet, the boy's puffy head of hair bobbed along with the flowers in his hands.

"When did you start working here?" Wonwoo asked bluntly.

"Oh, you're Wonwoo, right?" Soonyoung snapped his fingers in Wonwoo's direction.

Wonwoo nodded.

"I don't work here, I volunteered to help Mrs. Wen until she finds a qualified florist," Soonyoung answered as he set his bouquet back down on the counter.

"You're doing this for free?" Wonwoo furrowed his brow.

"Yeah," Soonyoung nodded.

"Why?" Wonwoo pushed, he was skeptical.

"Because Junhui was my friend too, not just yours," Soonyoung's smile fell. "I know you were close with him but so was I. I just want to help take care of his mom, okay? I don't have any ulterior motives."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude," Wonwoo apologised. "I have a little bit of trouble picking my words. I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, it's okay," Soonyoung said as he fiddled with the ribbon in his hands.

"Where's Mrs. Wen?" Wonwoo asked looking around the small store.

"She's making dinner," Soonyoung answered. "I have dinner here with her and then I go home, usually Jeonghan joins us when he isn't working at the cafe. This way Mrs. Wen doesn't have to eat dinner alone."

"That's very nice of you," Wonwoo acknowledged.

"Thanks," Soonyoung looked down at his feet, he looked embarrassed by the praise.

"Oh, Wonwoo! Did you want to stay for dinner, sweetheart?" Mrs. Wen appeared from the staircase leading up to the living area.

"Um," Wonwoo hesitated.

He looked up at the older woman's hopeful expression and her pleading eyes. She looked so vulnerable. Wonwoo let out a sigh. He knew he couldn't say no. He didn't want to reject the poor woman. She was probably feeling lonely without her son. Wonwoo resisted the urge to cry. He cleared his throat.

"I'll stay," Wonwoo agreed.

"I'll go fix you a plate," Mrs. Wen smiled.

"Damn it, Jun," Wonwoo said under his breath. "Why'd you have to fucking leave."

"Come on, Mrs. Wen doesn't like waiting," Soonyoung ushered Wonwoo up the stairs -- the shorter boy's hands felt warm against his back.

"Okay," Wonwoo nodded, allowing Soonyoung into his personal space.

Soonyoung was pretty cute.

Jeonghan slammed his locker door shut and pressed his forehead against the cold metal. He'd gotten very little sleep the previous night and his recent withdrawal from coffee was giving him a pounding headache. Rubbing his temples he walked down the school hallway and went down the stairs. He passed the row of vending machines on ground floor heading for the exit when he saw Mingyu walking toward him from the other side of the hall. Jeonghan pressed his lips together into a thin line, he didn't need that right now. He pivoted around went back in the direction he came -- he didn't make it very far, a strong hand grabbed him by the wrist. Jeonghan sighed. Grudgingly, he turned to see a unhappy looking Mingyu looking at him.

"What was that just now?" Mingyu asked keeping a firm grip on Jeonghan's wrist.

"What?" Jeonghan played dumb.

"You obviously saw me," Mingyu's frown deepened. "So why'd you suddenly run?"

"I didn't run, I walked," Jeonghan tugged his wrist out of Mingyu's hold and folded his arms over his chest.

"Aren't we on the same page now? Or are you contradicting what you said yesterday at the cafe?" Mingyu's tone showed more than a light hint of annoyance.

"I was all up for it until you kissed me," Jeonghan started walking away.

"So that's it? You're angry because of that?" Mingyu stepped around him, blocking his path.

"Yes, I'm angry!" Jeonghan gripped onto the hem of his sweater.

"Why?" Mingyu questioned.

"Why?!" Jeonghan was gobsmacked. "You can't just spring something like that on someone and then leave! I am a mess right now if you haven't noticed! The first love of my life just died! I'm still mourning and you come along and pull a one-eighty on me! It's too much! I can't deal with any more baggage than I already have!"

"Jeonghan, breathe," Mingyu reached out only to have Jeonghan take several steps back.

"I don't need this, I don't need any of this," Jeonghan shook his head as he headed for the exit.

Mingyu blocked his path a second time.

"Look, I know you're hurting but you can't keep pushing people away and wallowing in self-pity," Mingyu's voice sounded lower than usual.

"I don't want to hear that from you, we literally became friends yesterday. Also, why do you suddenly care about what happens to me? We're practically strangers."

"Then talk to me so we don't have to be strangers," Mingyu lowered his face down to Mingyu's level.

"There's more to this narrative isn't there? You didn't tell me everything yesterday, did you?" Jeonghan accused.

"Come on," Mingyu captured Jeonghan's wrist and pulled him back inside -- right into the basement level pool area.

Jeonghan sneezed the moment the strong smell of chlorine from the swimming pool hit his nose. Mingyu loosened his grip on the brunette's arm and ran a hand through his jet black locks. The taller boy stared a rippling water for a brief moment before turning to face the young barista.

"You're right, I didn't tell you everything," Mingyu nodded once.

"Go on," Jeonghan said as he played with the hem of his sweater -- he was very uncomfortable.

"When I said everything about you irritated me, I wasn't kidding. I first saw you at freshmen orientation and my first thought was who was the pretty girl with the long hair. Turns out you weren't a girl. That messed with me, that messed with me a lot."

Mingyu paused looking down at his feet before continuing.

"I thought it was just my hormones playing tricks on me and all that adolescent bullshit. When you cut your hair in sophomore year I was sure that odd feeling in my stomach would go away...but it didn't. I decided that hating you would be my best bet, that way I could definitely see you as just another classmate but that didn't work either, there was nothing about you that I disliked enough to call 'hate.'"

"I don't like where this is going," Jeonghan shook his head.

"Every time you'd speak to me I'd be giddy even if it was just a sarcastic remark or a snarky comment. Jun knew, Jun knew how I felt about you. He never missed a chance to parade you in front of my face. You were also this untouchable being who I could never win against and it drove me insane! You're smarter, wittier and you didn't even try. I both envied you as well as adored you. I'm just as much of a mess as you, Jeonghan."

"Adore me? Why?" Jeonghan was perplexed, very perplexed.

"You're everything I'm not," Mingyu said in a hushed tone. "Cheesy, I know but there's no other way to phrase it."

"Are you telling me this now because Jun's out of the picture?" Jeonghan took a step back -- he knew he was reaching but he didn't care, he didn't want to deal with all that emotional bullshit.

"No!" Mingyu's voice echoed.

"Then why?!" Jeonghan shouted back.

"Because you need someone, Jeonghan," Mingyu walked toward the brunette.

"I don't need your charity," Jeonghan wanted to leave.

"This isn't a charity. I want to offer you a shoulder to cry on, I want to offer you a listening ear. You're not okay, I've been watching you for longer than you think and from what I can see you're absolutely miserable. You're stick thin and you haven't spoken a word about Junhui or yourself in a month."

"Don't act like you know me, Kim Mingyu."

"Then let me get to know you! Stop pushing everyone else away, me included! Look me in the eye right now and tell me you're fine! Tell me you're okay and I'll back off, no questions asked!" Mingyu's eyes searched Jeonghan's waiting for a response.

Jeonghan opened his mouth to speak but was met with a shaky breath. He clutched at his heart, his chin tucked into his neck. He could hear his heart pounding.

"I'm not okay," Jeonghan finally broke down, unshed tears finding their way to the surface.

"I knew it," Mingyu whispered as he pulled Jeonghan into his chest.

"I'm the furthest thing from okay," Jeonghan crumbled. "I miss him! He wasn't supposed to go so soon!"

Mingyu's large palm rubbed at Jeonghan's lower back while the other buried into his hair, the touch was completely different from Junhui's. Mingyu's touch was shy. Jeonghan pressed his face into Mingyu's collarbone, the scent of fresh cotton and soap was a smell that was both unfamiliar yet pleasant -- it was definitely not Junhui but...Jeonghan didn't hate it. Just as he was beginning to regain composure, Jeonghan felt Mingyu's lips press into his temple. He flinched and immediately started to squirm.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again without your permission," Mingyu tightened his grip refusing to let go.

"Mm," was Jeonghan's reply.

"Lean on me, I'm right here," Mingyu finally let go of the brunette, his hand sifting through the smooth brown locks one more time before dropping down to his side.

"Mingyu, I don't-" Mingyu pressed his finger against the seam of Jeonghan's lips.

"You took care of me yesterday and now it's my turn to take care of you," Mingyu said.

"Again, this one-eighty degree change in personality is freaking me out!" Jeonghan's head snapped up to look at the swimmer.

"I purposely picked fights with you because that was my only way of getting your attention. I just wanted you to acknowledge me," Mingyu admitted. "I just wanted those eyes on me."

"You're taking advantage of an emotionally unstable person right now, you know that?" Jeonghan sniffled.

"All's fair in love and war," Mingyu said.

"Enough with the stupid fortune cookie bullshit! You're worse than Jun!" Jeonghan started crying again -- yes it was a stupid thing to start crying about but he couldn't control his tears. After suppressing his feelings for so long the floodgates had opened and there was no stopping it.

Mingyu continued to rub Jeonghan's back.

"I'll fix it for you," Mingyu whispered in his ear.

"Fix what?" Jeonghan asked between sniffles.

"Anything that needs fixing, I'll mend it. Even if it's broken I'll find a way to fix it," Mingyu replied.

In that moment Jeonghan genuinely believed Mingyu could help him. He really did. Unfortunately, that moment was fleeting, Jeonghan pushed against Mingyu's chest creating an arm's distance between them. He wasn't that easily won over.

"Don't get carried away, Kim Mingyu. All these pretty words are still just that, words," Jeonghan looked the boy in the eye.

"You don't believe me?"

"It's not that I don't believe you, I just don't think this will turn out how you want it to," Jeonghan rubbed a hand over his face.

"We haven't even given it a shot, you can't possibly know the outcome," Mingyu argued.

"Why are you so persistent?"

"I know I'm nowhere close to being on Jun's level but give me a chance, I'll make up for all the lost time."

"Mingyu," Jeonghan slowly shook his head.

"Please," Mingyu looked like a kicked puppy, he'd never seen the swimmer make such a face before.

Jeonghan chewed at his lip.

"Baby steps, we can take it slow as you want," Mingyu closed the distance between them, holding out his pinky finger.

"A pinky promise?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"Cross my heart and hope to die-" Jeonghan covered Mingyu's mouth.

"Don't you dare say 'die,'" Jeonghan narrowed his eyes.

"Is that a yes?" Mingyu asked.

"Fine," Jeonghan linked his pinky with Mingyu's.

"I'll walk you home," Mingyu nodded toward the exit.

"Do you need me to hold your hand on the train?" Jeonghan teased as he wiped away the wetness from his cheeks.

"Why wait for when we're on the train?" Mingyu looked unfazed, he took hold of Jeonghan's right hand and placed it inside his jacket pocket.

As they walked Jeonghan kept his eyes in front of him. Mingyu's hand was warmer than Junhui's, the calluses and the possessive grip those large digits had on his fingers felt so very different. Biting the inside of his cheek he did the one thing he didn't expect from himself, he held onto the swimmer's hand. Mingyu looked over at him, the corner of the swimmer's mouth pulling into a smile which he hid by looking down at his feet. They travelled home together in comfortable silence.

Chapter Text

Making coffee was easy, the process was very straightforward and for Jeonghan it was like second nature. He'd been working behind the espresso machine ever since he was old enough to reach all the buttons and nozzles on said machine. He generally felt at home behind the coffee counter but on that particular Saturday morning he was a tad uncomfortable. Every time he looked up he would catch sight of Mingyu staring at him from one of the tables by the window. Normally, when a person caught someone looking at them the said person would look away but not Mingyu -- Mingyu continued to stare. Jeonghan didn't give Mingyu anything, he simply went back to making coffee. He still had no intention of getting into anything serious with Mingyu, he just wanted to see how long Mingyu was willing to wait before the boy finally gave up and moved on. They were both stubborn but Jeonghan was on a whole other level.

"Are you going to say anything to me at all?" Mingyu finally appeared in front of the counter.

"I greeted you when you came in, didn't I?" Jeonghan looked over at the swimmer briefly before cleaning up around the coffee station.

"Cold shoulder again? What'd I do this time?" Mingyu frowned.

"Look, thank you for walking me home and thank you for caring about me but I just..." Jeonghan braced himself on the wooden counter top. "I still really don't think this is going to go anywhere. I don't see you that way, Mingyu. I don't think baby steps will work either, we're different -- too different. I was a snotty mess and let's be real, pinky promises don't mean much after reaching a certain age. Let it go, won't you?"

"You're pushing me away again," Mingyu reached over to touch Jeonghan's hand.

Jeonghan recoiled.

"Personal space," Jeonghan said as he went into the back kitchen.

"Oh come on! Jeonghan, I know what you're trying to do! I'm not going to give up, you might think I'll probably get sick of you if you give me the cold shoulder over and over but I guarantee you that won't happen. Don't underestimate my tenacity, Yoon Jeonghan," Mingyu followed right behind him.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan took a deep breath closing his eyes. "You're great okay? You've got a lot of great things going for you, find yourself someone who isn't me. My heart's at full capacity okay? You're only going to get hurt if you keep up with this fruitless chase. I've got a million things going on right now, caring about someone else and being responsible for their emotional well being is not something I want to deal with."

"Do you hate the idea of being with me that much?" Mingyu took a step closer, he sandwiched Jeonghan against the wall.

"You're not Jun," Jeonghan simply answered giving Mingyu's chest a shove.

"Jeonghan!" Mingyu trailed after the barista despite the hard blow.

"I have to work," Jeonghan said tightening his apron before going back behind the coffee counter.

"Let me help," Mingyu suddenly said.

"What?" Jeonghan looked over his shoulder.

"Let me work with you for the day."

"No, Mingyu-" Jeonghan tried to protest.

"Please, I want to get to know you," Mingyu hit him with the kicked puppy look again -- Mingyu was a fucking manipulative palm tree.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan was exhausted, Mingyu wore him out quicker than anyone he'd ever dealt with.

"Is that a yes? Because I can keep arguing," Mingyu said looking completely unfazed.

"Go grab me a bag of coffee beans from the back," Jeonghan finally replied as he rubbed a tired hand over his face.

Jeonghan made himself some chamomile tea and sipped the hot liquid slowly. He looked up at the wall clock behind him and hung his head, closing time looked so far away. Just as he finished off his cup of tea he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was his dad. Jeonghan picked up right away.

"Hello? Dad?"

"Hi, son," his father's voice was muffled by some rather loud gusts of wind.

"Are you coming back soon?" Jeonghan asked, his parents had gone to visit his grandmother but they'd been gone a lot longer than they were supposed to.

"That's the reason why I called, we're having a little bit of an issue," his dad answered.

"What? Are you and mom okay?" Jeonghan began to panic.

"Oh no, we're fine. The car engine is having a little bit of trouble because of the cold, your mother and I are trying to find some local mechanics to fix the problem but we're having some issues finding the right parts. I can't guarantee we'll be back tonight, we might have to stay overnight with your grandmother," his father sighed.

"Oh," Jeonghan said, what was he going to do about the cafe?

"Close the shop early if you need to, sweetheart. I don't want you to handle everything by yourself, it's too much work for one person," his mother's voice chimed in from the other end.

"No, it's okay," Jeonghan found himself saying. "I have an extra pair of hands."

"You do?" His mother asked.

"Yeah, I do," Jeonghan looked over at Mingyu as the taller boy greeted a pair of customers who entered the cafe.

"We'll be back soon, hold for the fort for us until we get back."

"I will," Jeonghan replied.

"If you have time could you make some more strawberry shortcakes? I don't think we have any for tomorrow," his dad's concern for the shop's cake supply made Jeonghan smile.

"Love you, sweetheart. Don't overwork yourself and remember to eat something," his mother said before she hung up.

"The customers ordered a cappuccino, a latte with two sugars and a slice of lemon meringue pie," Mingyu said.

"Can you plate up the pie for me while I do the coffee?" Jeonghan asked.

"Sure," Mingyu nodded.

Jeonghan made the cappuccino and latte all the while watching Mingyu from the corner of his eye. He watched the swimmer delicately place the dessert on a round plate before giving it a small dusting of icing sugar. The taller boy proceeded to delivering it to the customer's table with a smile -- his canines were long, Jeonghan never noticed that about Mingyu before. Though to be fair he'd never seen Mingyu flash a smile wide enough to see his teeth. Jeonghan handed the two finished coffees over to the taller boy and once again returned to watch him deliver the beverages. Mingyu was wearing a light grey turtleneck and the thin fabric left nothing to the imagination. It emphasised the lines of his back and enlightened Jeonghan on how very wide the swimmer's shoulders were. Mingyu's torso reminded him of a triangle, wide at the top but tapered down into a narrow waist.

"What are you daydreaming about?" Mingyu appeared beside him.

"How good are you at baking?" Jeonghan asked looking up at the swimmer.

"I prefer cooking savoury dishes, so not much experience when it comes to sweet things," Mingyu said.

"I can work with that," Jeonghan nodded as he cleaned out the coffee portafilter.

"Why'd you ask?"

"I'm putting you to work," Jeonghan simply answered as he gave the last customers a wave as they left. "We're closing early today."

Jeonghan locked the front door and flipped the small hanging sign over, he nodded over at Mingyu signalling for the swimmer to follow. Jeonghan gave his hands a thorough wash and prepared all the ingredients he needed. Mingyu watched the brunette in silence as he mixed a bunch of ingredients into a large metal bowl. Jeonghan finally handed the swimmer a bowl of cream set inside an even larger bowl filled with ice. Mingyu held a whisk in his free hand giving Jeonghan a confused look.

"Whip it until it becomes fluffy," Jeonghan said as he placed the finished mixes into the oven.

"By hand?" Mingyu's eyes widened.

"Is it too much for you?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

Mingyu went straight to whipping the cream. Jeonghan watched from the opposite side of the counter that separated them. Mingyu's movements were clumsy as expected of someone with no prior experience making sweets but he quickly adapted. The veins in the swimmer's arms were in full view as he whipped the contents inside the bowl. Jeonghan mentally slapped himself before grabbing strawberries out of the refrigerator. He sliced the fruit thinly all the while being very aware of Mingyu's presence. The silence in the kitchen was deafening.

"What's your favourite fruit?" Mingyu suddenly asked.

"Strawberries," Jeonghan answered popping the fruit inside his mouth licking his lips.

"Your favourite colour?" Mingyu continued.

"I like colours in general."

"Favourite food?"

"I like chicken and anything with a good broth," Jeonghan answered.

"What about your favourite-" Mingyu had his mouth stuffed with a strawberry.

"This feels like an interrogation," Jeonghan said as he pulled on a pair of oven mitts.

"I want to know more about you," Mingyu stopped his whisking.

"Give me that spatula beside you," Jeonghan ignored Mingyu's words.

Mingyu handed the spatula to the brunette.

"What's your favourite dessert?" Mingyu persisted.

"I don't like sweet things," Jeonghan spread a layer of cream on a layer of cake. "Ironic, I know."

"What about your ideal partner?" Mingyu's eyes were glued on Jeonghan's hands as he continued putting together the cakes.

"Someone who can handle my sour mood in the mornings. Someone who loves me no matter how many sarcastic remarks I make and brings me a bouquet of flowers every week without any particular reason other than the fact that they just wanted to," Jeonghan smiled sadly as he described Junhui.

"I can do that," Mingyu walked over to Jeonghan, his arms circling the brunette's small waist.

"How many times do I have to remind you to give me personal space?" Jeonghan put down his spatula.

"Are you actually opposed to it though? You're not kicking and screaming to get away from me," Mingyu argued.

"Let go," Jeonghan escaped from Mingyu's hold.

"What's your favourite sport?" Mingyu pushed on.

"How many more questions are you going to ask?"

"I'll keep asking until I find something we have in common," Mingyu replied. "What's your biggest fear?"

"Losing someone I love," Jeonghan's hand formed a fist on the table.

"Me too," Mingyu whispered in the shorter boy's ear.

Jeonghan took a deep breath.

"I know I'm not Jun, I know that very well but I can make you forget," Mingyu approached Jeonghan until they were nose to nose.

Jeonghan shook his head.

"I can comfort you, hold you, keep you warm," the swimmer cupped his chin.

"When you say it like that, it makes me want to believe you," Jeonghan felt Mingyu's free arm tug at the strings of his apron.

"Then believe me," Mingyu pulled the apron over Jeonghan's head.

Jeonghan felt the swimmer's strong hands on his thighs before he was lifted onto counter top. Mingyu moved forward standing between Jeonghan's legs. The swimmer's breath tickled the brunette's nose the same way it did when they first kissed. Mingyu's mouth hovered over Jeonghan's, he was waiting for Jeonghan to initiate it. With a sharp inhale Jeonghan closed his eyes, bent forward and pressed his lips against the taller boy's. The strawberry shortcake was left forgotten behind them.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu mumbled between breaths.

Jeonghan didn't reply, he didn't want to. He could barely breathe as it was. He felt a tear escape the corner of his eye, he felt guilty -- he shouldn't have but he did. It felt like he was betraying Junhui but Mingyu's kisses were so sweet, he felt so conflicted.

"Shhh..." Mingyu pressed his lips into Jeonghan's temple.

"I need a minute," Jeonghan gave Mingyu's chest a push and hopped off the countertop.

Jeonghan ran up the stairs and straight into his room. He leaned against the door and slid down to the floor biting at the tip of his thumb. His heart was racing, he was more of a mess than he was before -- he didn't think that was possible. The sudden knock on the door did nothing for anxiety he felt.

"I'm sorry if I went too far, I'll take my leave now. I didn't mean to make things worse," Mingyu's voice sounded hollow.

Jeonghan immediately reached for the doorknob. He clutched at Mingyu's sweater as the boy prepared to leave. He didn't want to be alone. The house was completely empty, Jeonghan didn't like that.

"Don't go," Jeonghan's voice shook.

"You can't take that back, Yoon Jeonghan," Mingyu gave a warning.

"I know," Jeonghan nodded.

Mingyu pushed back on the bedroom door walking past the brunette. His eyes scanned the simple interior of the room before travelling back over to Jeonghan. He reached out with large calloused hands touching the shorter boy's neck and worked their way down to the buttons of his shirt. Jeonghan watched through half-closed eyes as Mingyu undid each button. The swimmer licked his lips as he got his first glimpse of Jeonghan's bare chest. His bronzed hand caressed the smooth unblemished chest with a gentleness Jeonghan didn't expect.

"Can I?" Mingyu asked, his eyes pleading for a yes.

"Make me forget," Jeonghan nodded.

Jeonghan allowed himself to be lead over to his bed. Mingyu settled down on the edge and pulled Jeonghan forward until the shorter boy straddle his hips. They eyes each other with unwavering gazes, they were so close Jeonghan could see Mingyu's eyes dilate. Mingyu's Adam's apple bobbed swallowing before slipping the shirt of Jeonghan's shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. The swimmer's hands clamped onto the shorter boy's waist and worked their way up his back feeling every vertebrae and finally descended back down to the fly of his pants.

"Aren't you the least bit flustered?" Mingyu asked as he pulled down Jeonghan's zipper.

"Should I be?" Jeonghan lifted his hips as Mingyu pulled down his jeans.

"You're such an intriguing character, Yoon Jeonghan," Mingyu removed his own shirt.

Jeonghan felt Mingyu's hand on the back of his neck directing him forward until their mouths locked together. Mingyu's tongue licked at the seam of Jeonghan's lips asking for permission, Jeonghan obliged and started doing some exploring of his own. His tongue grazed against the sharp canines before pulling away and taking a deep breath. Mingyu immediately changed their position and loomed over Jeonghan as he laid on the mattress.

"I'm getting excited," Mingyu hid his face in Jeonghan's neck, his breath hot and heavy.

"You might regret this," Jeonghan whispered.

"No, I won't," Mingyu lifted his head giving Jeonghan a look before settling between his legs.

Without any other warning Mingyu discarded his turtleneck flinging it haphazardly into a corner of the room. He undid his zipper and rubbed his thumbs against Jeonghan's hipbones. Jeonghan's breath hitched. Mingyu started slowly preparing the brunette all the while whispering sweet nothings into Jeonghan's ear. Pushing himself off the mattress Jeonghan wrapped his arms around Mingyu's neck looking him in the eye.

"This feels so wrong," Jeonghan mumbled.

"Not to me," Mingyu said as he pushed into the shorter boy.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan hissed, Mingyu was massive.

"How do you feel?"

"Full," was the brunette's answer.

They moved together and with every thrust Jeonghan felt Mingyu's temperature increase. The swimmer's neck dripped with sweat making it hard for him to hold on. He finally gave in and fell back onto the mattress where Mingyu bent over him keeping him captive between those large arms of his. Jeonghan knew he'd made a mistake, he should've let Mingyu leave, he should've said no. Now that he'd gotten a taste of the taller boy, he wanted more -- so much more. Mingyu's gentle touches and his low voice moaning in his ear was so very addictive.

"I'll fix everything for you," Mingyu echoed the words he'd said at the pool.

"Don't talk, not now," Jeonghan silenced Mingyu pulling the boy's face down to his.

Leaving cream and cake unattended was a bad idea. Jeonghan threw away the dried out cake and the sad mess of cream on the counter and made a new batch. He bent down to clean a small glob of cream off the floor and immediately groaned as he straightened up -- his back was killing him. Mingyu was still passed out in his bedroom but he had no intention of waking up the swimmer, he didn't know if he was ready to face the taller boy as of yet. Jeonghan liked working by himself, it was quicker that way and he had the time to just zone out and not think about anything. Just as he finished putting the final touches on the cakes he heard Mingyu's urgent steps trudge down the stairs before appearing at the threshold.

"You weren't in bed," Mingyu's face flushed, he looked embarrassed.

"So you assumed I just upped and ran away in the middle of winter?" Jeonghan raised a brow.

"I panicked," Mingyu admitted.

Jeonghan set the cakes inside their large refrigerator and turned back around. Mingyu's sweater was full of wrinkles and his hair was a mess, he was nothing like his usual put-together self. Jeonghan thought the boy was kind of cute looking disheveled and unkempt.

"Come here."

Mingyu approached the brunette immediately.

"You're quite the anomaly, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan said as he popped a strawberry between the swimmer's lips.

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Yoon Jeonghan," Mingyu savoured the taste of the tart fruit.

"What are we doing?" Jeonghan rubbed his hands over his face.

"I don't know but I don't think we're doing anything wrong."

"Is that so?" Jeonghan felt Mingyu's hands curl around his waist.

"Trust me, " Mingyu nodded.

"I'll try," Jeonghan answered as he clutched at the back of Mingyu's sweater, his eyes focused on a picture of him and Junhui hanging on the opposite wall.

Jeonghan's hands fisted the fabric as he looked away from the framed photograph.

'Sorry, Jun...' Jeonghan thought to himself as he held onto Mingyu.

Chapter Text

Walking into Junhui's mom's flower shop always gave Jeonghan an overwhelming feeling of comfort, not because it was warm inside but more so because of how Mrs. Wen greeted him the moment he stepped into the shop. The little woman would give him a smile that caused the lines around her eyes to crinkle, a sign that she'd spent the majority of her life smiling. Junhui looked so much like his mother -- it made Jeonghan both happy and sad. He set down the cake box he had in his hands onto the counter and allowed the petite older woman to engulf him in a hug, she smelt like freshly cut roses.

"Have you had lunch yet?" Jeonghan asked Mrs. Wen.

"I should be asking you that, Yoon Jeonghan," Mrs. Wen looked him up and down. "You're but skin and bones, dear."

"I'm eating a lot more nowadays, I promise," Jeonghan defended.

"You're just like my Jun, you lose weight far too easily. I couldn't fatten that boy up no matter how hard I tried," Mrs. Wen shook her head, her eyes showing a moment of sadness before she shook it off.

"He was an athlete, he couldn't get fat even if he wanted to," Jeonghan said.

"What have you been up to, sweetheart? I feel like I only see you go to and from school before you get stuck behind a coffee machine," Mrs. Wen directed him over to a pair of stools in the shop's corner.

"It's cold, I just don't feel like going out and doing things in this weather. Frostbite is a genuine concern you know," Jeonghan answered, it was partially true -- he hated being outside.

"Sweetheart, I know you're still hurting but I don't want your life to constantly revolve around looking after me. I've been a single mother for a long time and I've been living alone longer than that, I know how to care for myself -- I'm quite the independent woman. I know you're doing this because you're a good friend to my Jun but you have a life of your own to live. You can't just have me as your only friend," Mrs. Wen patted the back of Jeonghan's hand.

"I just don't like the idea of you being alone," Jeonghan bit the inside of his cheek.

"I have other women in the neighbourhood to talk to, dear. Your mother and I have a great time talking to each other and my customers are wonderful company. Don't worry so much, it'll age that handsome face of yours," Mrs. Wen pressed her finger against Jeonghan's furrowed brows.

"I know it's selfish but could you blame me if I said being with you makes me feel close to him?" Jeonghan looked at the older woman with an apologetic look.

"Seeing you also reminds me of my Jun, so don't you worry, son," Mrs. Wen smiled.

"I guess I should take my leave, I don't want to keep you," Jeonghan said as he stuck his hands inside his coat pockets. "Enjoy the red velvet cupcakes, I made those this morning."

"Take these with you," Mrs. Wen handed him a bouquet of Baby's-breath.

Jeonghan was at a loss for words.

"Jun said they were your favourite, right?"

"Yes, they are," Jeonghan took the delicate little arrangement.

"Did you know that Baby's-breath represent everlasting love in the language of flowers?"

"They do?" Jeonghan looked up at the older woman.

"Yes," Mrs. Wen nodded with a smile. "Now off you go, dear. Enjoy your Sunday before the day's through."

"Bye, Mrs. Wen," Jeonghan said before making a dash down the road and back into Cafe Serenity.

He quickly went up to his room and filled the empty vase on his desk with water and swiped away the dusk from its surface before putting in the fresh Baby's-breath. Jeonghan suddenly felt a lot better, seeing the vase being put back into use made him feel less empty. He touched the delicate little clusters of flowers and smiled, he never knew Baby's-breath had that deep of a meaning -- Junhui had such an innocent soul. He admired the flowers for a little while longer before he returned downstairs. He didn't work on Sundays but he also didn't want to stay inside his room by himself, the silence was deafening and he was growing tired of hearing his own depressing thoughts. Cafe Serenity was generally busy no matter the weather or day of the week, if it wasn't for the coffee and pastries then it was the 'Instagram-worthy' location of the cafe that drew customers in. Just as he was about to head back into the kitchen Mingyu came through the front door with his gym bag slung over his shoulder. He was dressed in black from head to toe under his parka, it was all athletic gear.

"You busy right now?" Mingyu asked, the taller boy's nose was red from the cold.

"No, why?" Jeonghan asked.

"Go out with me, today," Mingyu said and nodded at the exit.

"Where are you going to take me?" Jeonghan was cautious.

"A quick bite to eat, my treat," Mingyu said.

"Are you going to take no for an answer?"

"It's either yes or yes," Mingyu replied.

"Give me two minutes," Jeonghan sighed.

He ran back upstairs into his room and unplugged his phone before he stuffed it into his coat pocket along with his wallet. He put his keys into his back pocket and adjusted the vase on his desk one more time just as he closed the bedroom door behind him. Mingyu was right where he'd left him. Jeonghan gave his hair a light tousle and gave his dad a wave as he followed Mingyu out the door. Just as they were about two blocks away from the cafe Jeonghan felt Mingyu's hand reach for his. He didn't recoil but he wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with it either.

"Give me your phone number," Mingyu suddenly said as they walked.

"What?"

"Your phone number, I don't have it," Mingyu stopped to give the brunette a look.

"Give me your phone," Jeonghan reluctantly held out his hand.

Mingyu handed over his phone and Jeonghan quickly typed in his number before handing it back to the taller boy. The swimmer called the number immediately.

"Are you checking to see if I gave you a fake number?" Jeonghan asked incredulously just as his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"Yes," Mingyu nodded.

"That little faith huh?" Jeonghan shook his head as they continued walking down the street.

"Come on," Mingyu nodded over at a small stall.

The older woman stood behind the stall wore a beige apron and fuzzy earmuffs over her ears as she prepared hotteok in a wide flat pan while she added fish cake into a bubbling tray of tteokbokki with her free hand. Jeonghan watched as Mingyu made the order before handing him a container of teokbokki and savoury hotteok -- the swimmer remembered that he didn't like sweet things, Jeonghan was slightly impressed. He allowed Mingyu to lead him down a few more stops before they entered a small park. They sat down on one of the picnic tables under a large tree and ate in silence. It wasn't until he was halfway through his hotteok that he noticed Mingyu staring.

"Can I help you?" Jeonghan took another bite of his hotteok.

"I still feel like I don't know you," Mingyu said as he popped a piece of rice cake into his mouth.

"Are you going to start with the interrogation again?"

"No, I..." Mingyu rested his palms down on the snow scattered picnic table. "I don't know what I should do. I'm trying my best to be patient with you but it's fucking difficult when you're constantly changing your mind."

"Changing my mind?" Jeonghan asked cocking his head.

"Yes! One minute you're clinging onto me for dear life and the next you're treating me like I'm nothing. I told you I was fine with taking things slow but it feels like we're taking one step forward and a hundred steps back every time we make progress," Mingyu scrunched his napkin into a ball. "Yes, I'm stubborn and yes I don't take no for an answer very easily but I'm human too, you know. I have limits. I have feelings, Jeonghan!"

"Is that the real reason why you brought me out here? To guilt me into dating you?" Jeonghan frowned.

"You're doing it again, you're completely missing the point I'm trying to make, Jeonghan," Mingyu's annoyance was beginning to show on his face.

"Just because we slept together once you think this solidifies something between us?" Jeonghan stood from his seat. "I don't recall ever agreeing to be anyone of significance to you, Mingyu!"

"You said you trusted me!"

"I said I would try! I never made any promises!"

"Jeonghan, do you hear yourself? You're back pedalling and you don't even realise it! Jun is gone! He's not coming back no matter how many lies you tell yourself! You can't mourn him forever!" Mingyu snapped, his booming voice caused the snow to fall from the branches above them. "I'm here practically willing to jump through hoops for you! Why won't you acknowledge me! This push and pull is worse than when you were blatantly ignoring me! Do you know why?! Because now you're giving me false hope and then purposely turning a blind eye! That's messed up! Jun's not here anymore but I am!"

"Don't you dare speak of his name using that tone," Jeonghan said in a hushed tone before he took his leave.

He'd had enough of Mingyu.

Wonwoo yawned and removed his glasses before rubbing his tired eyes. Keeping track of the store's stock was a fucking nightmare when his father never kept track of any of the things they ordered. He unpacked the last box of their delivery and let out a sigh of relief when all of the books came out dry and undamaged. Plastic shrink wrap was a blessing -- for the preservation of the book but not so much for the environment. He stacked the new arrivals onto the shelf and cracked his back as he stepped back behind the register to finish off the paperwork. Just as he was about to close the bookstore's front door, Wonwoo noticed a large puff of white bobbing outside in the dark. Adjusting his glasses he squinted and turned on the porch light. Soonyoung was stood outside wearing his puffy white hat with a bright yellow jacket -- the boy had a very odd taste in clothing.

"Soonyoung, what are you doing?" Wonwoo asked from the porch.

"Oh hey!" Soonyoung waved a mitten clad hand. "My mom said she'd pick me up but she's not here yet. The snow's causing delays I think."

"Then come into the store and wait until she comes, you'll be a popsicle by the time she arrives if you stay out there," Wonwoo said waving the shorter boy over.

"Okay," Soonyoung waddled over, the yellow jacket he wore had so much padding that the boy's neck was nowhere to be seen. "Do you work here?"

"I live here, my old man owns the shop," Wonwoo answered as he poured a cup of tea for Soonyoung from the thermos he kept under the register.

"Thanks," Soonyoung accepted the steaming cup with a sniffle.

Wonwoo leaned against the wall and watched the shorter boy blow on the surface of the steaming hot liquid before taking a sip. Soonyoung's lips looked slightly chapped from the cold, his observation was proven correct when the boy pulled out a tube of carmex and applied a generous layer over his lips -- top and bottom. Swiping away at his runny nose Soonyoung's eyes wandered around the store before gazing back over at Wonwoo. Soonyoung flinched at the eye contact.

"Is something wrong?" Wonwoo asked as he walked across the room to reorganize a shelf.

"You've got quite a stare, Wonwoo," Soonyoung said.

"So I've been told," Wonwoo replied.

"You haven't been dropping by the pool very much nowadays," Soonyoung said.

Wonwoo froze for a brief moment.

"Junhui's not there, why would I go there without a reason?" Wonwoo answered, he sounded cold -- he didn't mean to.

"I'm-I'm sorry, I'm so stupid," Soonyoung started scolding himself. "Of course you wouldn't...sorry."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it alright? I know you're just trying to have small talk, I'm just bad company -- I'm well aware of it," Wonwoo turned to face the hamster-looking boy. "Like I said the last time we spoke, I have trouble picking my words -- I live in a bookstore yet I have a problem with words, ironic I know."

"You know, Jun was right about you, " Soonyoung stared down at his cup of tea.

"Right about what?"

"That you're actually a warm person under that cold exterior," Soonyoung said with a smile -- his eyes formed small crescents.

"Warm?" Wonwoo scoffed.

"Yeah, he also said you'd never actually admit it," Soonyoung took another sip of tea.

"He sure loved to gossip, didn't he?"

"Can you recommend me a book?" Soonyoung suddenly changed the topic.

"Are you a reader?" Wonwoo raised a brow.

"I'd like to start," Soonyoung answered with a nod.

"What kind of books do you like?" Wonwoo asked the shorter boy.

"I like pictures," Soonyoung answered.

"Pictures?" Wonwoo's eyes widened.

"Yeah, I like pictures," Soonyoung smiled.

"Well, if that's the case..." Wonwoo began going through the shelves.

He tapped his fingers against the spine of the various books lining the shelves going from the adult section down over to the children's section but nothing really caught his eye. He looked back over at Soonyoung who was looking at an old poster on the back of the store's front door -- the boy looked intrigued. Feeling Wonwoo's gaze, Soonyoung turned around and gave the taller boy a smile. Wonwoo felt a little flutter in the pit of his stomach. With a click of his fingers he ran upstairs and went into his room and started looking through his personal collection of books. He searched high and low until he found what he was looking for. Dusting off the cover he returned downstairs where Soonyoung was finishing off the rest of his tea.

"Here," Wonwoo handed the book over to Soonyoung.

"It's thick," Soonyoung said upon seeing and feeling the weight of the book.

"It's called 'The Arrival' by Shaun Tan," Wonwoo said as he nodded over to the poster on the door. "It's the book you were looking at on the poster. He's an Australian artist and writer. That book is a graphic novel without any written word so plenty of pictures, it's actually a favourite of mine. I think you'd like it."

"I'm allowed to borrow this?" Soonyoung's eyes widened.

"As long as you don't dog-ear any of the pages," Wonwoo nodded.

"What's it about?"

"You can tell me when you're done reading it," Wonwoo replied.

"Sure," Soonyoung said just as a car horn beeped from outside. "Oh! That's my mom!"

"You better go," Wonwoo said as he opened the door for the shorter boy.

"I'm helping Mrs. Wen at the flower shop tomorrow after school. Do you want to go home together tomorrow?" Soonyoung asked as he pulled on his fluffy white hat.

Wonwoo felt his lip twitch.

"Sure," Wonwoo nodded calmly.

"Okay! See you tomorrow! I'll wait by the exit of the main building!" Soonyoung shoved the book into his jacket and pulled the zipper over it as he ran through the snow.

"Careful!" Wonwoo warned as the boy stumbled on his way over to the car.

"I know!" Soonyoung waved as his car disappeared down the road.

Closing the door behind him Wonwoo ran a hand through his hair and went over to pick up the plastic cup Soonyoung had used. Looking at the brim there was an imprint of the swimmer's lips from his lip balm -- Wonwoo smiled to himself. His impression of Soonyoung remained unchanged, the boy was very cute. Without the boy in the store he suddenly felt lonely again.

"He's so fucking cute," Wonwoo squatted on the floor all the while still holding onto the plastic cup.

"You alright there, son?" His father's low voice suddenly asked.

"Yeah," Wonwoo replied. "I'm doing just fine."

He really hoped Soonyoung was going to take care of his book.

Chapter Text

The library had always been Jeonghan's safe space, it had a quiet atmosphere and the heaters provided the perfect environment for him to enjoy a quick nap before he had to return home. Usually he had no problem dozing off but every time he closed his eyes his foot started impatiently tapping under the table. Just as he was about to give up and go home, a soft tap on the table caught his attention. Jeonghan looked up to see Wonwoo looking at him with his black beanie pulled low and a dusk mask covering his face. His fox-like eyes were the only things in view.

"Hey," Jeonghan said with a nod.

"Hey," Wonwoo returned.

The taller boy pulled a chair over from a nearby study desk and sat down beside Jeonghan. The two shared a moment of silence, both didn't know what to say to each other. Partly because they'd been avoiding each other for well over a week and the other part was because they also didn't know how to start off the conversation -- neither of them were very good apologies. Jeonghan took a deep breath before he decided to make the first move.

"I'm sorry," Jeonghan said before running a hand nervously through his hair. "I know I haven't been a very good friend to you these days."

"Nah, I'm just as guilty," Wonwoo said as he removed his dusk mask.

"I didn't mean to cut you out, I just think we needed some time away from each other," Jeonghan looked out the window. "We're a couple of pessimists, who knows where our joint negativity would've lead us."

"I agree with you, neither of us are very good at dealing with bad news," Wonwoo nodded.

"So how've you been?" Jeonghan looked over at Wonwoo giving him a light nudge with his elbow.

"Good," Wonwoo replied. "Soonyoung's been keeping me company."

"Soonyoung?" Jeonghan raised a brow. "How'd that happen?"

"I ran into him at Mrs. Wen's flower shop," Wonwoo said. "He's a good kid."

"Good kid? We're all in the same grade," Jeonghan pointed out.

"I don't know, something about the way he acts makes me think he's younger."

"I agree, Soonyoung still has that child-like wonderment in his eyes," Jeonghan draped an arm around Wonwoo. "I can't say the same for us."

"So what about you?" it was Wonwoo's turn to give his friend a nudge.

"Well..." Jeonghan's eyes began to wander.

"We're keeping secrets from each other now?" Wonwoo cocked a brow.

"How do I say this?" Jeonghan gnawed on his lower lip.

"Spit it out, you're giving me anxiety," Wonwoo pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"I kind of...slept of with Mingyu," Jeonghan said in a hushed tone.

"You slept with-" Wonwoo immediately had his mouth covered by Jeonghan's palm.

"Don't tell the whole fucking library," Jeonghan hissed as he looked around, luckily no one seemed to have noticed -- the old librarian gave them a look but quickly turned away.

"I told you to be civil with the guy, not sleep with him," Wonwoo said, his face did nothing to hide his shock.

"It's not like I suddenly decided to hop on his dick on a whim, Wonwoo," Jeonghan defended. "A lot more happened before that. Besides, I don't think there'll be a second time."

"Why not?" Wonwoo found himself asking.

"We fought," Jeonghan sighed. "But that's not really news, is it?"

"Care to elaborate? From the beginning would be good."

"You know how we just assumed Mingyu hated me because he was competitive?"

"Yes," Wonwoo nodded.

"Well," Jeonghan adjusted his chair. "Turns out Mingyu's just been sexually confused and frustrated for three years."

"That makes sense," Wonwoo looked unfazed, that sounded about right.

"He's just been trying to get my attention the only way he could," Jeonghan scoffed. "By being a dick."

"It's like one of those boys in kindergarten who bullies the girl they like," Wonwoo said. "What is he? Five?"

"My thoughts exactly."

"So what lead to the fight?" Wonwoo prodded.

"Jun," Jeonghan gave a brief answer but Wonwoo understood nonetheless.

"Ah, Jun," Wonwoo repeated.

"He's asking for a lot," Jeonghan's foot began its nervous tapping again. "Well...I think it's a lot."

"What is it that he's asking of you, though?" Wonwoo rested his elbow on the table, his attention completely on Jeonghan.

"He wants us to be something," Jeonghan mumbled.

"So a relationship?"

"I don't like that word," Jeonghan's eye twitched.

"So what you're saying is that you're still not over Jun but your pre-existing issue with commitment is making things even more difficult?"

"Sometimes your ability to read a situation really freaks me out," Jeonghan admitted.

"It's a very useless talent if you ask me," Wonwoo laughed but there was very little humour in it.

"I don't know what I should do," Jeonghan bit at his fingernails.

"Well first off, how do you feel about Mingyu?"

"He's a pain in the ass," Jeonghan answered.

"Figuratively or physically?" Wonwoo gave his friend a look.

"Mind out of the gutter please," Jeonghan slapped Wonwoo upside the head. "But honestly, he's pretty charming when he's not annoying the crap out of me."

"So you like him?"

Jeonghan let out a defeated sigh. "Yeah."

"So you know what you have to do right?" Wonwoo asked.

"Enlighten me, wise one," Jeonghan joked.

"Tell him how you feel, apologise and then set some ground rules."

"That sounds like something straight out of Wikihow," Jeonghan commented.

"It probably is," Wonwoo nodded with a straight face.

"Well thanks for that," Jeonghan yawned as he stood.

"You heading home now?" Wonwoo asked.

"I think I'll stick around for a little longer," Jeonghan replied. "You okay with travelling home by yourself for the second week in a row?"

"Nah, Soonyoung's helping out Mrs. Wen at the flower shop today so we're going home together."

"Awe, you got yourself a new transport buddy?" Jeonghan teased.

"Ha ha," Wonwoo rolled his eyes as they walked out of the library together.

"I'll see you around, drop by the cafe with Soonyoung if you have time," Jeonghan waved over his head as he watched Wonwoo disappear down the hall.

"I will," said over his shoulder.

Once he was left alone Jeonghan walked over to his locker to retrieve his parka. He walked down the three flights of stairs and just as he was about to grab himself a bottle of water from the vending machine the smell of chlorine hit his nose. He turned to look at the set of stairs leading down to the basement level and once again started chewing at his lower lip. He knew the swim team didn't have any training on Mondays but something compelled him to walk down the dark corridor. Just as he set foot into the pool area he immediately spotted someone in the water. The broad back and jet black hair made it pretty obvious who it was. Instead of making his presence known Jeonghan threw his parka onto one of the benches lining the walls and sat down cross-legged on the edge as he waited for Mingyu to come back from the opposite side of the pool. Unlike his usual self Mingyu looked less awkward in the pool, his long limbs powering through the water looked completely different from the way Junhui swam. Junhui's favourite style was always the butterfly, he'd loved watching the way Junhui would work with and against the water. Mingyu was equally as captivating, Junhui was graceful but Mingyu was pure raw power. When Mingyu finished his lap the taller boy stood at full height and removed his googles letting it hang around his neck. He was at eye level with Jeonghan.

"You're fast," Jeonghan said as they eyed one another.

"Why're you here?" Mingyu asked as water dripped down his face.

"What do you think?" Jeonghan cocked his head.

"I knew it, I shouldn't have said anything to you to begin with," Mingyu slammed his hand against the water's surface. "You don't care about me at all, do you? If you're just here to tell me to fuck off then just go."

"Mingyu," Jeonghan tried to get the boy's attention.

Mingyu looked over at him, he didn't look happy.

"I came to apologise," Jeonghan said.

"What?" Mingyu's sullen expression morphed into confusion.

"I wanted to say sorry," Jeonghan hooked a finger on the strap of the goggles around Mingyu's neck and drew him forward.

Mingyu swallowed.

"You were right about a lot of things, I was trying to push you away. It takes me a while to open up to people, I'm very...guarded. I'm sorry for treating you the way I did, you didn't deserve it. I should've been a lot more considerate of your feelings. I know I'm selfish but you have to understand that Jun has played a huge role in my life, ten years to be exact, I can't just forget him that easily. To be perfectly honest I don't want to forget him ever."

"Are you saying you want me to give up?" Mingyu's frown returned.

Jeonghan gave the taller boy's forehead a flick.

"I'm saying we should give this another go," Jeonghan said as he rubbed the spot he flicked. "But this time I'll try harder."

"You really mean that?" Mingyu's eyes widened. "You're not mad at me?"

"Oh believe me, I'm mad at you but I do mean what I said," Jeonghan nodded. "But on the other hand, I'd be angry too if someone turned a blind eye to how I feel. We've both said things we don't mean, anger makes you do a lot of irrational things."

Without any further warning Mingyu's arms reached to capture him by the waist before dragging him into the water. Jeonghan let out a yelp. The water was slightly colder than his body temperature, Jeonghan immediately gave Mingyu a betrayed look. The swimmer had a grin on his face as he bent forward and placed a gentle peck on Jeonghan's temple.

"Now we're even," Mingyu said as held Jeonghan by the waist.

"This isn't funny," Jeonghan glared up at the swimmer.

"It wasn't meant to be," Mingyu whispered in his ear.

Despite being annoyed by Mingyu's immature prank he allowed the swimmer to hold onto him. Mingyu's curious hands travelled up and down his body beneath the surface of the water and settled on each of his ass cheeks. It looked like the swimmer had no intention of moving his hands any time soon. Jeonghan wrapped one arm around Mingyu's neck while he touched Mingyu's face with his free hand. He stroked the taller boy's cheek with his thumb and Mingyu in turn started closing the gap between their faces. Their noses touched. Jeonghan licked Mingyu's lips before initiating the kiss. Jeonghan felt something hard prod against his thigh.

"Calm down there, tiger," Jeonghan chuckled as Mingyu tightened the grip on his ass.

"You're telling me to calm down while teasing me like this?"

"You pulled me into the water, I'm not taking responsibility for how your body responds," Jeonghan gave Mingyu's chest a playful shove and detangled himself from the taller boy.

Jeonghan climbed out of the pool and immediately looked down at himself. The wet fabric clung to every contour of his body and his shirt was very much transparent. He quickly looked back over at Mingyu, the boy was almost drooling as he stared at Jeonghan. Without a backwards glance, Jeonghan walked over to the storeroom just beside the coach's office. He rummaged through the shelves of gym uniforms until he found a pair of trackpants in his size and grabbed a polo shirt from the top shelf. Jeonghan stripped down and hopped inside one of the shower stalls. He flung his wet clothes into a corner and did his best to clean off the smell of chlorine but he didn't get very far. He barely got to rinse off before he felt a familiar pair of hands touching his hips. Those same hands descended further down and stroked his thighs.

"Can I help you?" Jeonghan asked as he allowed the water to run down his chest.

"Do you want me to beg?" Mingyu's breath was ragged.

"Maybe," Jeonghan answered.

"Please?" Mingyu's fingers slid down to grab Jeonghan's length.

Jeonghan hissed.

"Aren't you supposed to ask for permission and then touch?"

"Pretty please?" Mingyu nibbled at Jeonghan's earlob.

Jeonghan immediately went limp. He turned around and leaned against the tiled wall allowing Mingyu to pull him up. He wrapped his legs around the swimmer's midsection and was greeted by Mingyu's dick in between his cheeks. The swimmer licked his lips. Jeonghan watched Mingyu lather himself with some soap before he slowly positioned himself. Jeonghan dug his nails into Mingyu's back as the felt the solid length slowly enter him -- Mingyu's teeth bit into his shoulder in response.

"I don't think I'll ever get enough of you," Mingyu whispered.

Jeonghan didn't look Mingyu in the eye, he didn't know if that statement had any value. People said all sorts of crazy things in the heat of the moment, a lot of the time it was things that weren't true. Instead of a response he simply held on, he wanted to enjoy the moment. Jeonghan didn't want to think about what they were going to be in the long-run, he didn't want to think about their destination and in all honesty he didn't want to know the destination.

"Don't talk," Jeonghan pressed a finger against Mingyu's lips the same way he did the first time they slept together.

He didn't want to hear anything escape Mingyu's lips. The boy's words held far too much weight, he spoke too many sweet words -- words Jeonghan wasn't ready for. He closed his eyes and relished in the sensual touches and searing kisses that were branded into him by Mingyu's lips. Jeonghan wrapped his arms around Mingyu's neck and arched his back as he moaned into climax. The swimmer watched him completely entranced until he too followed Jeonghan into ecstasy.

Just like that they dried off and got dressed. Jeonghan retrieved his parka and threw his clothes into a plastic bag before shoving it inside his backpack. As they exited the school building he looked up at Mingyu who had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

"Happy that you got laid?" Jeonghan joked.

"Among other things," Mingyu answered as he reached out to clasp Jeonghan's hand.

As they made their way to the train station Jeonghan handed Mingyu his phone. The swimmer stared back at him with a blank expression.

"You got mine but I never got yours," Jeonghan said.

"Oh," was all Mingyu could utter.

Once Mingyu handed back his phone, Jeonghan snapped a quick photo of the swimmer's face.

"What was that for?" Mingyu asked.

"A picture so I can add it to your contact profile," Jeonghan smiled.

"I want one as well," Mingyu stepped around him forcing Jeonghan to stop.

"Any special requests?" Jeonghan asked.

Mingyu mumbled something but Jeonghan couldn't catch it.

"Louder please," Jeonghan demanded.

"Wink," Mingyu mumbled again.

"I'm not very good at it but sure," Jeonghan shrugged.

As requested Jeonghan winked into the camera as Mingyu took the picture. Jeonghan was just about to start heading down to the platform when he suddenly noticed something about Mingyu. Jeonghan's eyes widened as a small stream of red liquid ran down Mingyu's nose.

"M-mingyu! Your nose is bleeding!" Jeonghan pointed.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Mingyu turned away obviously embarrassed.

"No you're not! You're bleeding!" Jeonghan tried to get a better look but Mingyu wasn't letting that happen.

"I'm fine!" That was when Mingyu started running away.

"Oi! Mingyu! That's the wrong platform!" Jeonghan ran after the swimmer.

"Fuck!" Mingyu shouted.

Jeonghan didn't remember the last time he'd laughed so hard.

Soonyoung sneezed as they got off the train carriage and immediately rubbed at his nose, the tip had turned a rosy shade of red and his eyes began to water. Wonwoo felt the corner of his lip curl into a smile as he watched Soonyoung struggle to open his small packet of tissues with his mitten clad hands. Wonwoo took the tissues out of Soonyoung's hands and pulled out a sheet before stuffing it back in Soonyoung's pocket.

"Thanks," Soonyoung said, his cheeks turned the same colour as his nose.

"No problem," Wonwoo replied as they made their way out of the station.

"I finished that book you recommended."

"Did you?" Wonwoo looked down at Soonyoung. "How was it?"

"I liked it, I liked it a lot. The main character was an immigrant who travelled to an unfamiliar land without his family in search of a better life. Then you get to see all the backstories from the people he meets in the unfamiliar land. Everyone had their own story of suffering but they managed to find their happiness. The pictures said so much."

"I'm glad to hear that," Wonwoo's words were genuine, it was nice hearing someone else appreciate one of his favourite books from his childhood.

"Can I keep it for a little longer? I just really like it," Soonyoung gave Wonwoo a hopeful expression.

"I'm in no rush to get it back," Wonwoo shrugged.

"Thank you," said just before he sneezed yet again.

Wonwoo suddenly noticed something missing about Soonyoung's attire. The boy's fluffy white hat was missing. Without any hesitation he removed his beanie and placed it over Soonyoung's head and pulled it over the shorter boy's ears. Soonyoung gave him a bewildered look.

"Is that better?" Wonwoo asked.

"But what about you? Aren't you going to be cold?"

"I'm not as delicate as you," Wonwoo teased putting his hands in his pockets.

Soonyoung froze touching the beanie on his head before he caught up with Wonwoo. He couldn't explain the emotion he was feeling. The smell of crisp green apple immediately told Soonyoung of Wonwoo's shampoo preference, he liked it. As they got closer to Mrs. Wen's flower shop Soonyoung began twiddling his thumbs before giving Wonwoo's coat a light tug to get his attention.

"Yes?"

"Can I visit at the bookstore after I'm done at the flower shop?" Soonyoung asked before he started to back-pedal. "But it's fine if you're not, I totally understand if you're busy so-"

"Yes, I'm free and you're welcome to come to the bookstore. We can even drop by Cafe Serenity and Jeonghan can make you a hot chocolate and give you some cake. Sound good?"

"Yes," Soonyoung nodded once, his cheeks still a deep shade of pink.

"I'll see you in a little bit," Wonwoo said before adjusting Soonyoung's scarf.

"Okay," Soonyoung replied before he started walking away.

"Oh wait, one more thing," Wonwoo pulled Soonyoung back by the end of his scarf.

The shorter boy didn't have much time to react before Wonwoo planted a kiss on his lips. Soonyoung immediately made a strange noise that was in between a shriek and a mating call. Wonwoo held back his chuckle as he looked at Soonyoung's bewildered expression.

"See you in a few hours," Wonwoo said as he gave Soonyoung a light push in the direction of the flower shop.

Soonyoung looked back over his shoulder and saw Wonwoo shoot him a wink before the taller boy disappeared into the bookstore. Soonyoung touched his lips. Wonwoo had kissed off his lip balm.

Chapter Text

Jeonghan was alone, he was surrounded by nothing but a long stretch of beach and the sound of crashing waves. The sun was warm on his back and the cold ocean water licked gently at his ankles. Everything was so perfect yet he felt empty -- it was so lonely. That was when he felt it, a pair of arms circled around his torso. The familiar gentle touch could only belong to one person. The figure behind him let out a soft melodic laugh and rested his chin on Jeonghan's shoulder. The figure lifted Jeonghan's hand to his lips giving the back of it a peck before pressing another gentle kiss on his temple.

"Jun," Jeonghan said.

At that moment he turned around but to his dismay he was met with nothing but empty space. Junhui was nowhere to be seen. Jeonghan fell to his knees onto the sand. He couldn't see Junhui even in his dreams. That was so very cruel.

Jeonghan opened his eyes and rubbed away the dampness around his eyes with the sleeve of his flannel pyjamas. His own mind was playing tricks on him and he didn't enjoy a single second of it. Just when he thought he'd gotten better something always managed to pull him back. He didn't want to make himself suffer, really didn't. Jeonghan quickly got out of bed and checked the time on his phone. It was ten o'clock in the morning. A sudden surge of panic ran through his body but he relaxed when he remembered that it was a snow day. He didn't have school but he did have to make cakes for the pastry cabinet.

He threw on a comfy sweater and brushed through his hair once before he went to wash up in the bathroom. Jeonghan headed straight downstairs right after and went to pull the blinds on the cafe's windows. Just as he was about to head into the kitchen he managed to catch sight of someone sitting outside on the steps of the porch. Jeonghan unlocked the front door and the person outside immediately jumped letting out a surprised yelp.

"Soonyoung?" Jeonghan asked as Soonyoung dusted off the snow from his jacket.

"Hi," Soonyoung replied with a nervous laugh.

"What're you doing out here?" Jeonghan leaned against the door.

"I'm waiting for the bookstore to open," Soonyoung answered and pointed over to Wonwoo's house.

"I'm not sure if they're open today," Jeonghan told Soonyoung.

"Oh," the shorter boy lowered his head.

"Come in, you look cold," Jeonghan nodded toward the cafe. "I'll make you something."

"Are you sure?" Soonyoung was hesitant. "I don't want to intrude."

"No, it's fine. We're closed today, you can keep me company," Jeonghan said.

"I've never been in here," Soonyoung said as he looked around at the cafe's interior.

"Really? Haven't you ever visited with Jun?" Jeonghan asked.

"No, I've only seen the outside," Soonyoung said as he inspected a vase of flowers by the window. "I was supposed to come here with Wonwoo a few days ago but..."

"But?" Jeonghan urged.

"Nevermind, I don't want to talk about it," Soonyoung shook his head.

"Are you a coffee drinker or a non-coffee drinker?" Jeonghan changed the subject, he didn't want to make poor Soonyoung uncomfortable.

"Non-coffee drinker, caffeine gives me the shakes. I'm very sensitive to it," Soonyoung admitted.

"So a hot chocolate? Chai latte? We have a tonne of options, I highly recommend the green tea latte; it goes really well with the red bean mochi," Jeonghan said.

"Then I'll get the green tea latte and the mochi," Soonyoung nodded as he took a seat on one of the stools opposite the counter.

As Jeonghan prepared the green tea latte his eyes wandered back over to Soonyoung who unzipped his jacket, pulled out a book and set it down on the counter. Jeonghan immediately recognized the cover -- he only knew one person who owned that book, it was definitely Wonwoo's. He set down the steaming cup in front of Soonyoung as well as a plate of their store's handmade mochi before tapping his finger against the book's cover.

"Did Wonwoo lend this to you?" Jeonghan questioned the shorter boy.

"How'd you know?" Soonyoung looked up at him.

"That book is a first edition hardcover, it's signed by the original author if you check the first page. Wonwoo's the only one I know who has it, he got it for his thirteenth birthday," Jeonghan informed. "He doesn't lend books from his personal collection very easily, let alone a signed copy of a first edition. You're practically holding a piece of Wonwoo in your hands."

"It's that important?" Soonyoung's eyes widened as he touched the cover with his mitten-clad hand.

"He's deemed you worthy," Jeonghan chuckled.

"Jeonghan?" Soonyoung asked picking up his green tea latte.

"Yes?"

"What kind of things does Wonwoo like besides reading?"

"Wonwoo? Well, let me see...he likes video games, he'll play until ungodly hours of the morning or until he passes out. He kind of just takes it easy, he moves at a sloth's pace and he doesn't like doing things that require a lot of physical activity. Wonwoo doesn't really do much now that I think about it."

"Oh," Soonyoung set down his cup.

"Why the long face all of a sudden?" Jeonghan ruffled Soonyoung's hair.

"We don't have anything in common, I'm not good at playing video games or even technology as a whole and I like swimming which is a physical activity."

"A difference in interest really isn't a valid reason not to be friends with someone, Soonyoung," Jeonghan reasoned.

"I know but...he's smart and I'm...well...I have two braincells who battle each other for dominance on a daily basis," Soonyoung took a bite of mochi.

"Look, I don't know what's going on with you two but all I have to say is that Wonwoo probably likes you, a lot. Like I said before, he doesn't just lend his books out to anyone who comes asking."

Jeonghan's eyes wandered over to the windows. He could see Wonwoo's profile as the taller boy swept the snow off the bookstore's welcome mat before shuffling back inside. Jeonghan quickly looked over at Soonyoung whose eyes were firmly glued on Wonwoo's retreating figure -- Soonyoung pouted when Wonwoo was out of sight. Jeonghan immediately had a light bulb moment.

"Have you ever made a cappuccino before, Soonyoung?"

"No," Soonyoung answered.

"Come on, I'll teach you," Jeonghan gestured for the shorter boy to join him behind the machine.

Jeonghan tutored Soonyoung through all the steps and watched the boy carefully as he steamed the milk. He continued to watch as Soonyoung poured the foaming hot milk into the espresso and sprinkle chocolate powder on the surface. Jeonghan popped on a plastic lid and handed the finished coffee back to Soonyoung who gave him a confused look.

"Give this to Wonwoo, he'll be a lot nicer to talk to if he gets his coffee fix," Jeonghan explained.

"Do you think he'll let me in?" Soonyoung bent over to look at the bookstore through the window.

"I'm positive," Jeonghan nodded as he followed Soonyoung to the door.

Soonyoung clutched Wonwoo's book close to his chest and walked one door over to the bookstore. He took a breath, knocked at the door with his elbow since both his hands were occupied and waited until he heard the lock on the shop's door unlatch. A drowsy-looking Wonwoo greeted him wearing a loose sweater that perfectly showcased the taller boy's collarbone. His glasses were hooked onto the neck of his sweater deepening the sweater's neckline. Soonyoung swallowed.

"Soonyoung?" Wonwoo squinted through sleepy eyes.

"Coffee?" Soonyoung held out the baby blue paper cup.

"Uh...thanks?" Wonwoo took the cup from Soonyoung's mitten-clad hand, he still wasn't one hundred percent awake.

"Sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to return this," Soonyoung held out Wonwoo's book.

Wonwoo took the book and tucked it under his arm before turning his attention back to Soonyoung. The shorter boy was wearing his puffy yellow jacket again and on top of his head was the beanie Wonwoo had given him. The boy's colourful scarf and mittens in conjunction with the rest of his outfit was almost seizure inducing -- Wonwoo kind of loved it.

"You came all the way here just to return my book?"

"And give you coffee," Soonyoung nodded as he squirmed. "Jeonghan taught me to make it."

"Jeonghan?"

"Yeah, the sign said you were closed so I waited over at the cafe's porch," Soonyoung replied. "Jeonghan saw me and he let me wait inside."

"You waited outside in the cold just to return my book?" Wonwoo questioned.

"Yeah," Soonyoung nodded.

Wonwoo set the paper cup and his book down by the register and grabbed Soonyoung by the bicep pulling him into the bookstore. He wrapped his arms around the shorter boy and rubbed his hands up and down Soonyoung's back. He placed his palms over Soonyoung's cold ears before he pulled back and stroked the boy's cold flushed cheeks.

"You're so stupid," Wonwoo said as he pulled Soonyoung back into his chest.

"Wonwoo?" Soonyoung didn't know what to do with his hands.

"Are you still cold?" Wonwoo whispered in Soonyoung's ear.

Soonyoung shivered at the sensation.

"Do you want some tea? If you stay I can recommend some more books."

"Okay," Soonyoung nodded, he still had no idea what to do with his hands -- Wonwoo was so close.

Soonyoung felt his heartbeat increase as Wonwoo's face began to move towards his. He squeezed his eyes shut in preparation for what was about to come but it never did. He cracked open one eye to see Wonwoo staring at him, their foreheads were almost touching.

"I won't do it if you don't want me to," Wonwoo said.

That was when Soonyoung mustered up his courage. He closed the remaining distance and gave Wonwoo a quick peck before showing the taller boy a sheepish smile.

"I'll go pour you some tea," Wonwoo returned Soonyoung's smile.

"My lip balm," Soonyoung complained but really he didn't mind it at all.

"Jeonghan, sweetie?"

Jeonghan looked up from the kitchen counter look at his mother. The older woman had her hair pulled back into a neat bun while her dainty hands piped small buttercream roses onto small cupcakes laid out in front of her. Jeonghan cocked a brow waiting for his mother to continue her sentence.

"Yes?" Jeonghan urged.

"Why don't you leave the cakes to me and go out and have some fun, wouldn't you rather be doing something else?" His mother looked over at him with concern in her eyes, it was the only emotion she seemed to show as of recent.

"I don't know, there's really nowhere I want to go," Jeonghan answered.

"Well why don't you call up that new friend of yours? You know, the tall one, Mrs. Kim's son," his mother wasn't backing down.

"Mingyu? How do you know about him?" Jeonghan stopped what he was doing.

"He always dropped by to grab a blueberry cheesecake for his mom but for some reason he always came when you weren't working," His mother continued to pipe buttercream roses. "Did you boys not get along?"

"You could say that, we're just very...different. He and I couldn't really hold a conversation," Jeonghan said as he fiddled with the piping bag in his hands.

"So what changed?"

"He's been really nice since Jun passed away," which was partly true but he wasn't ready to tell his mother the real reason.

"Sweetheart, I'm a mother and mothers worry. It doesn't matter how old you are, I'm going to always worry about you. I know you haven't been yourself since Jun passed but do me a favour and go out today. I don't want to see you skulking around the house anymore, it breaks my heart," his mother took the piping bag out of Jeonghan's hands and stroked his cheek. "Please, for me."

Jeonghan suddenly felt very guilty.

"Yeah, okay," Jeonghan sighed, he couldn't possibly say no to his mother.

Jeonghan cleaned his hands over by the sink and dried them off on his apron before hanging it up on the hook behind the kitchen door. Rummaging through his pockets he found his phone and went through his contact list until he found Mingyu's number. He hesitated for longer than he was willing to admit before he pressed 'call.' Mingyu picked up on the first ring -- that was fast.

"Hello? Jeonghan?" Mingyu answered sounding all too eager.

"Hey, are you free today?" Jeonghan asked, his lips curving into a smile as he paced back and forth.

"Yeah, I am," Mingyu replied.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" Jeonghan walked up the stairs and made his way into his room.

He kicked the door closed with his foot and laid back down on his bed as he waited for Mingyu's reply.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Any ideas on where we could go?"

"Meet me at the station in half an hour."

"The station?" Jeonghan sat up on the mattress.

"Trust me," was all Mingyu gave him.

"Okay," Jeonghan said reluctantly.

Mingyu hung up after that and Jeonghan was once again thrown into silence. He laid back down and flicked through his camera roll until he landed on the candid picture he'd taken of the swimmer. The photo showcased the taller boy's tapered eyes which looked slightly confused while his mouth was parted revealing one of his unusually sharp canines. Jeonghan smiled at the photo before he scrolled up further into his camera roll. His thumb hovered over an image of Junhui taken from outside the flower shop as he was arranging a bouquet. Jeonghan didn't realise he had so many pictures of his first love. A part of him wanted to delete the images so he could stop torturing himself but the other part of him thought that idea was almost sacrilegious. Jeonghan decided to keep the photos -- he just couldn't bear the thought of losing anymore of Junhui. Pushing himself off the bed he went and got ready, he had plans.

Jeonghan actually enjoyed the process of getting ready to go out. He'd forgotten how exciting it was to pick out the socks he would wear with his outfit. He never really cared about whether or not the socks matched his clothes, just knowing he was wearing cute socks put him in a good mood. He really liked socks. Jeonghan buttoned up a white dress shirt and pulled on an oversized navy sweater before straightening out the pant legs of his white trousers. For the first time in a month he was actually happy with his appearance. He grabbed his phone and wallet and stuffed them into his pockets before enveloping himself in his favourite white parka.

"Mom, I'm leaving now," Jeonghan stuck his head into the kitchen.

"Have fun, don't stay out too late," his mother waved.

Jeonghan exited the cafe and made his way down to the station -- the platforms were almost empty, whether it was because it was in the middle of the day or because of the snow Jeonghan couldn't tell. He didn't have to wait very long before Mingyu showed up at the entrance wearing a long grey coat over black jeans and a navy blue turtleneck. Jeonghan felt his lip twitch. They were both wearing something navy -- an unintentional couple outfit, Jeonghan immediately regretted his clothing choice.

"You look good," Mingyu's eyes travelled up and down Jeonghan's body.

"Eyes up here, big guy," Jeonghan waved his hand to regain Mingyu's attention.

"I mean it. You always look good."

"Care to tell me where we're going?" Jeonghan asked as he tapped his T-money card and walked through the barrier.

"Paju," Mingyu said as he lead the way down to their platform.

"Paju?" Jeonghan cocked his head.

"It'll be fun, I promise," Mingyu assured as their train arrived.

They sat together on the almost empty carriage with a rather large gap between them. Jeonghan looked over at Mingyu who gazed out the window while his hands gripped the strap of his backpack as he sat. It was quite awkward, he didn't know what to say considering they still didn't know each other very well. Mingyu's interrogation at the cafe barely scratched at the surface of who Jeonghan was as a person.

"How's your day been?" Jeonghan broke the silence.

"Better now that I'm out of the house," Mingyu finally looked Jeonghan in the eye.

"Bad day?" Jeonghan reached over to hold Mingyu's hand.

"More like a bad parent who ruined it," Mingyu squeezed Jeonghan's fingers in return.

"Ah, parents. We can't choose them but we're stuck with them," Jeonghan joked but Mingyu's frown stayed on his face.

"I really wished I could choose them right about now," Mingyu shook his head.

"That bad huh?" Jeonghan scooted closer.

"I know they just want the best for me but is it really necessary to undermine my hard work?"

"They don't like you swimming?" Jeonghan guessed.

"Not as a career path, that's for sure," Mingyu scoffed.

"You're set on being a swimmer? No other alternatives?"

"I can't imagine doing anything else," Mingyu sighed. "It probably sounds stupid but I just don't see myself going down any other path, you know. I just don't."

"It's good to know that you have goals set in place," Jeonghan looked down at his feet. "I wish I could say the same."

"You don't have anything you want to pursue? Not even one?"

"I grow tired of things very easy, Mingyu. I've never been able to hold down a hobby for long because I lose interest within a week. I haven't really found anything that's grabbed me," Jeonghan admitted.

"There must be something that you want to do," Mingyu gave him a light nudge.

"I wanted to travel but my travel buddy isn't with us anymore," Jeonghan said.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't bring that up. I'm such an asshole, aren't I?" Jeonghan's laugh held no humour. "You don't deserve this. I'm the one who called you out yet here I am bringing up Jun while we're going out together."

"There's nothing wrong with what you said, just because I'm here it doesn't mean that Jun's name suddenly becomes taboo, alright?" Mingyu's brow furrowed. "You're allowed to talk about him, plain and simple."

"That just earned you some extra brownie points, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan smiled.

"I mean it," Mingyu tightened the hold on the brunette's hand.

They rode the rest of the train ride in silence and their fingers intertwined. Jeonghan took the time to take a better look at the swimmer while the boy stared out the window. The swimmer had a small beauty mark on his left cheek and as the boy continued to look out the window Jeonghan caught sight of a mole on the boy's nape. He bent forward to blow on the back of Mingyu's neck and immediately Mingyu clapped his hand over the area. Jeonghan chuckled devilishly as the swimmer shot him a look.

"I never knew you had a mole back here," Jeonghan touched the mole on Mingyu's nape.

"What are you going to do with this new information?"

"Use your imagination," Jeonghan whispered into Mingyu's ear causing the boy to take a sharp breath.

Mingyu lead the way out of the station and waved over a taxi which drove them another fifteen minutes before they reached their destination. Jeonghan stepped out of the taxi and squinted against the brightness. Despite being covered in snow Jeonghan could still make out the irregular shape of the buildings ahead. Interesting architecture, Jeonghan thought.

"Come on," Mingyu nodded toward the buildings.

"What is this place?" Jeonghan asked as he followed the swimmer.

"This is the Hyeri Art Village, it's well known for its large community of artists and architecture. My mom used to take me here when I was younger, there's plenty to see and do. There's some really good restaurants around here as well if you're hungry. We could even just stroll around if you're not into shopping."

"This place is huge," Jeonghan looked around at the various buildings as they walked.

"I loved coming here as a kid, it's so quiet compared to the city. The air is so fresh and you can actually see the stars at night," Mingyu had a child-like smile on his face.

Jeonghan found himself being very intrigued by the things around him especially when they passed a blue statue of a naked man -- dick and balls in full view. Jeonghan immediately turned to Mingyu who was looking at the statue with the same confused expression. He got on his tiptoes and moved close to Mingyu's ear.

"I'd say you and the statue have a few things in common," Jeonghan whispered and Mingyu immediately choked -- whether he choked on air or his own saliva, Jeonghan didn't know.

Jeonghan continued walking down the strip as Mingyu broke into a coughing fit behind him. Teasing Mingyu was still his favourite thing to do. They grabbed a pizza and some pasta from one of the various food places and walked until they found a bench away from all the other people at the art village. They set the pizza box between them and Jeonghan went straight for the pasta. The familiar taste of mushrooms and cream instantly made him happy. He looked over at Mingyu who watched him with an expression he couldn't decipher.

"What is it?" Jeonghan asked between bites of pasta.

"You look so happy when you eat," Mingyu smiled.

"Is smiling while eating a crime?" Jeonghan waved his fork.

"No, it isn't. I just haven't seen you smile like that before," Mingyu commented. "I'd like to see more of it."

"Are you trying to flirt, Kim Mingyu?"

"Is it working?" Mingyu gave him a sheepish smile.

"A little," Jeonghan looked down and played with the strings of pasta in his bowl.

"Am I allowed to have some of your pasta?" Mingyu eyes travelled down to Jeonghan's lips as he slurped up another strand of spaghetti.

"Come get it," Jeonghan held a strand between his lips and tilted his head forward toward the swimmer.

Mingyu mouth hung open, Jeonghan was very forward -- he kind of loved it. The swimmer bit onto the end of the spaghetti and nibbled until they were nose to nose. Jeonghan took the last bite and promptly kissed Mingyu's winter chapped lips before going back to eating. He let out a lighthearted chuckle as he watched Mingyu's face gradually turn red.

"What? You've never had a 'Lady and the Tramp' moment before?" Jeonghan teased.

"Nope," Mingyu answered before stuffing his face with pizza -- he was finding a way to distract himself from Jeonghan's unwavering gaze.

"I think that's the cheesiest thing I've ever done," Jeonghan once again started playing with his food.

"Are you willing to do it again?" Mingyu looked over at him with a timid look.

"I taste like mushrooms, are you really willing to do it a second time?" Jeonghan raised a brow.

"I like mushrooms," Mingyu smiled at the brunette.

Jeonghan didn't give the taller boy a response, instead he wrapped his arms around Mingyu's neck and pulled him down for an actual kiss. He chuckled the moment he saw Mingyu throw his slice of pizza back into its box -- Mingyu chose him over pizza, that was kind of a big deal.

Jeonghan walked back to his house from the station with a full belly and smile on his face. He'd had a very good day, so good he actually didn't want it to end. He'd said goodbye to Mingyu at the station and the taller boy had given him a kiss on the forehead before they went their separate ways. He barely even felt the cold as he walked through the snow. Just as he reached Cafe Serenity, Jeonghan noticed the flower shop's lights were still on. He shuffled over to the shop and looked through the front window to see Mrs. Wen moving boxes. He opened the front door and dusted off the snow before he took one of the heavy boxes from the older woman's hands.

"What are you doing, Mrs. Wen?" Jeonghan asked.

"Oh hello, sweetheart. I'm just organising some of Jun's things. I'm thinking of putting them in storage, it's awfully dusty up in his room," the older woman gave him a sad smile. "I just want to keep everything in good condition."

"Let me help," Jeonghan followed the older woman up the stairs.

"Is that okay, sweetheart? Do you have anything you need to do?"

"No, my time is all yours," Jeonghan assured.

He followed the woman up the stairs and bit the inside of his cheek as he approached Junhui's room. He hadn't entered the boy's room since his passing, he was nervous. Jeonghan hesitated for a moment before he stepped through the threshold. Jeonghan smiled at the familiar interior, Jun's room was so very different his personality. Jun was so bright and colourful as a person yet everything in his room was black -- ironically black was his favourite colour. The walls were mostly blank aside from a few small pictures hung above the boy's desk. Jeonghan touched the framed photograph on Junhui's desk and suddenly felt a lump form in his throat -- it was the same photo of himself, Wonwoo and Junhui on their first day of high school. Mrs. Wen must've noticed his change in behaviour because he suddenly felt the woman's hand rub at his back as she too looked at the photograph.

"You were a good friend to him, Jeonghan," Mrs. Wen said to him. "You still are a good friend to him."

"What do you need me to do?" Jeonghan cleared his throat and looked away from the photograph.

"Could you bring down these two last boxes?" Mrs. Wen pointed to the boxes sat beside Junhui's bed.

Jeonghan did as he was told and returned back up into Junhui's room as he helped wiped down the dust on the furniture. As he straightened out the remaining few knick-knacks on Junhui's desk a sheet of paper fluttered to the ground at his feet. He picked up the paper and quickly eyed the writing on it before turning around to look at Mrs. Wen.

"Do you know what this could be?" Jeonghan asked the woman.

"Oh that," Mrs. Wen put down the wet cloth she was holding and wiped her hands on her apron before she took the paper from Jeonghan. "Jun's bucket list."

"Oh," Jeonghan's hands formed fists at his sides.

"Did you want to have it?" Mrs. Wen asked as she handed the paper back to Jeonghan. "Your name is mentioned more than once on that list."

"Are you sure?" Jeonghan took the paper.

"Yes, dear," Mrs. Wen smiled as she went back to wiping dust off Junhui's dresser.

Jeonghan gave the older woman a hug as she escorted him out the door and walked back to the cafe with the paper tightly clutched between his fingers. He greeted his parents in the kitchen before he went upstairs and shrugged off his coat before falling backwards onto his bed. He reached for his glasses on the nightstand and skimmed through Jun's handwriting -- the boy's clumsy strokes rivalled his own child-like chicken scrawl. A smile tugged at Jeonghan's lips seeing three cats drawn on the corner of the paper. One of the cats had a pair of glasses while the other had a halo, the remaining cat had flowers drawn around it -- vain even in a drawing, Jeonghan laughed.

"Take Jeonghan and Wonwoo to China," Jeonghan began reading the various dot points on the paper. "Skydiving with Jeonghan, Backpack through Europe with Jeonghan."

The list went on. Jeonghan was fine until he reached the end of the list. The last dot point had been crossed out telling Jeonghan it had already been fulfilled. That was when he felt a tear escape the corner of his eye.

"Fall in love," Jeonghan read the dot point, his voice shook.

As he wiped away at his eyes, Jeonghan's phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw Mingyu's name flash on his screen. He opened the message and smiled. Mingyu was asking if he'd made it home okay. The swimmer also included pictures of their day together as well as the picture he'd taken of Jeonghan while he slept on the train -- something that Junhui also loved to do. He replied with a simple 'yes I did' followed by the pizza and spaghetti emoji as well as a heart. Mingyu sent him a simple 'goodnight' and the angel emoji.

Jeonghan set down the paper on his nightstand and turned his attention to his phone instead. He flicked through the photos Mingyu sent and stopped when he landed on a selfie Mingyu took while in bed. He didn't know whether the swimmer sent it to him on purpose or by accident but he didn't have to wonder very long before Mingyu called him.

"Delete it please," Mingyu said without a hello.

"Delete what?" Jeonghan played dumb.

"I'm begging you, delete it," Mingyu whined.

"I think I'll keep it, your collarbone looks good in that picture," Jeonghan teased.

"Oh god," Mingyu's embarrassment could be felt through the phone.

"This might just be my new lock screen," Jeonghan continued with his banter.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu sulked.

"Goodnight, Mingyu," Jeonghan hung up without warning.

He was definitely using it as his lock screen.

Chapter Text

Wednesdays were generally uneventful, there just wasn't anything interesting that happened on that particular day -- it was almost impressive how mundane Wednesday was. Jeonghan gathered his books and walked out of his Biology classroom before grabbing a small carton of strawberry milk from the vending machine. Just as he turned the corner, Jeonghan felt a heavy arm drape around his shoulders before his carton was snatched from his fingers.

"I haven't seen you in awhile," Choi Seungcheol, the basketball team captain, took a large gulp of Jeonghan's strawberry milk before handing it back to the brunette.

"You camel-looking bastard," Jeonghan's eyes screamed murder.

"It has also been awhile since I've heard an insult leave your lips," Seungcheol ruffled Jeonghan's hair.

"What do you want?" Jeonghan asked as he turned the combination to open his locker.

"You and Wonwoo have been M.I.A from almost every basketball game this month, streetball isn't the same without you two," Seungcheol draped his arms around Jeonghan's shoulders again.

"Have you thought that maybe, just maybe, that the reason we don't go is because it's fucking cold?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"You may have a point," Seungcheol nodded.

"Was there anything else you wanted to say? Because I have Calculus to go to," Jeonghan closed his locker door.

"Come out for a game once in a while, it's been boring without you there, it'll be like the good old days. You, me and Wonwoo -- the A-Team," Seungcheol said, he sounded sincere which was odd.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu's voice made Jeonghan jump.

"Oh hey," Jeonghan said as the swimmer came to a stop behind him.

"You'll come to the next game, right?" Seungcheol pushed on completely ignoring Mingyu.

"What game?" Mingyu interjected.

"Can you back off for a second? We're having a conversation," Seungcheol shot Mingyu a look.

"Mingyu, can you give us a moment?" Jeonghan asked tugging at the taller boy's sleeve.

"What's he talking about? Where are you going with him?" Mingyu's jaw was clenched tight.

"I'll see if I can make it to the game, okay?" Jeonghan turned to give Seungcheol an apologetic look before he dragged Mingyu into the boys' bathroom.

"What game?" Mingyu repeated.

"It's just a friendly invite to a streetball game, alright? Once upon a time I actually had a social life, Mingyu," Jeonghan answered calmly.

"I don't want you to go," Mingyu's brow furrowed.

"You can't make those kind of decisions for me," Jeonghan shook his head.

"Don't you see what he's doing? He's definitely got an ulterior motive, Jeonghan!" Mingyu shouted, his voice echoing through the empty space.

"Mingyu, listen to me," Jeonghan's patience was wearing thin.

"If you're just going to argue then I don't want to hear it," Mingyu pushed by Jeonghan before taking his leave.

Jeonghan didn't know what to say. He felt like he was dealing with a five year old. He pinched the bridge of his nose to calm the headache that was beginning to form and headed straight for class. He walked into the classroom and plopped down beside Wonwoo who was spaced out staring at the ceiling with a dumb smile on his face. Jeonghan clicked his fingers to get the boy's attention. Wonwoo cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses before turning to look at the brunette.

"What happened? You look like a Disney princess whose found her prince charming," Jeonghan noted as he pulled out his notebook.

"Prince? No, more like a friendly woodland creature," Wonwoo said as logged into his laptop.

"So I guessed it right, you and Soonyoung do have something going on," Jeonghan said.

"What'd he say about me?" Wonwoo suddenly turned curious. "More importantly, what did you tell him about me?"

"He asked about your hobbies, it looked like he was determined to find something you both had in common."

"So did he end up finding something?" Wonwoo questioned.

"Nope, you're like the north and south end of a magnet," Jeonghan answered.

"Shit," was all Wonwoo could say.

"But it's cute that you're letting him borrow your books, here I thought it was impossible for you to lend out anything as valuable as items from your personal collection. I asked you if I could borrow 'The Arrival' once and you told me to fuck off," Jeonghan was still very salty.

"What about you? Didn't you say that getting along with Mingyu was also impossible? If I remember correctly, you two were doing very inappropriate things in the male locker room showers," Wonwoo shot back.

"I told you that in confidence," Jeonghan gave Wonwoo's shoulder a slap.

"You shouldn't have," Wonwoo grinned.

"Anyway, I feel like I've hit another bump in the road with Mingyu," Jeonghan sighed. "Well, several bumps."

"Again? That's a fucking bumpy road you're driving on," Wonwoo didn't sound at all surprised, he'd been a spectator for almost all their fights for the last two years. "What happened this time?"

"Where do I even begin? He's an absolute sweetheart when it's just us but the minute anyone with a penis walks by he suddenly feels the need to act extra masculine. Don't even get me started on locations for our get-togethers, it's always some place far away and he refuses to go anywhere close to here in fear of people from school seeing us together," Jeonghan rubbed a hand over his face. "Just now he threw a fit because Seungcheol invited me out to play basketball."

"It's been awhile since Seungcheol's name has come up in a conversation," Wonwoo nodded. "And as for the other points I can conclude that someone is still very much in the closet."

"l mean, I'm fine with waiting until he's ready to come out on his own terms but I really don't think he ever will," Jeonghan frowned. "What's more it just makes his jealousy over Seungcheol all the more suspect. No matter how you look at it, Mingyu's behaviour just doesn't seem normal for a friend whose just overprotective. I can't keep lying to people when Mingyu's practically breathing down my neck."

"You're a mess," Wonwoo concluded.

"Me or Mingyu," Jeonghan asked.

"You're both equally tragic," Wonwoo replied.

"Thanks," Jeonghan rolled his eyes as he turned to face the blackboard.

"So what are you going to do?" Wonwoo asked as he jotted down notes.

"I'm not the one in the wrong here, why should I apologise?"

"So you're just going to wait for Mingyu to do the groveling?"

"Yes," Jeonghan nodded.

"Your stubborn streak is still unrivaled, Yoon Jeonghan," Wonwoo chuckled.

"I know," Jeonghan replied, he knew very well.

As expected Jeonghan travelled home on the train without Mingyu that afternoon -- the swimmer didn't wait for him by the main exit so Jeonghan took that as a sign and left on his own. He made it back to Cafe Serenity a little quicker than usual as the snow was beginning to disappear. The end of winter was near and Jeonghan felt very giddy. He tapped off his shoes on the porch and shuffled through the cafe's front before going upstairs and putting away his backpack. He hung his parka over the back of his desk chair and returned back down where he was greeted by a petite woman waiting by the counter. A pair of pearl earrings adorned each of her ears and a matching pearl necklace was strung around her neck. The woman's hands were enveloped by a pair of black leather gloves. Jeonghan smiled as he approached the woman.

"Hi, Mrs. Kim," Jeonghan greeted the woman, it was Mingyu's mother.

"Longtime no see, dear," the older woman returned his smile.

"How've you been?" Jeonghan asked.

"Oh I'm doing fine," the woman said.

"What can I do for you today?" Jeonghan went to put on his apron.

"Just the usual," the woman answered.

"No problem," he grabbed a blueberry cheesecake from the refrigerator and set it into a cake box and handed it over to the woman.

"So did you and Mingyu enjoy your yourselves the other day? He told me you were helping him train at the pool," Mrs. Kim took the box from his hands.

"The pool? Oh yes, he needed someone to time his laps for him," Jeonghan lied, Mingyu had told his mother something completely different from what they actually did on the snow day.

"All that boy thinks about is swimming, I don't know what me and his father are going to do with him," Mrs. Kim shook her head.

"Is Mingyu pursuing a swimming career really a bad thing?" Jeonghan prodded.

"It's a very unrealistic dream, dear. Mingyu's a bright boy, doing something like swimming is a waste of his potential," Mrs. Kim said. "His father would never allow him to go down such a path, we want him to be successful."

"I see," Jeonghan nodded, he now understood why Mingyu said it was suffocating at home.

"If everything goes as planned, Mingyu will go straight onto university and then follow his father into a corporate job, maybe even give me a grandchild or two if he can find himself a nice wife."

"Ah," Jeonghan didn't know what else to say, his suspicions were confirmed by Mingyu's mother herself. He was nowhere to be seen according to the picture Mrs. Kim had painted of Mingyu's future.

"I have to go, dear," Mrs. Kim looked down at her wristwatch. "Tell your mother I'll be back on Friday for tea with her at noon."

"I will," Jeonghan waved as the older woman left the cafe, a frown pulled at his lips.

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. He'd never really thought about where Mingyu stood in terms of his sexuality when they first started seeing each other -- he was too caught up in the sweet kisses. Since they'd never discussed where the relationship was going to go, both had thrown the topic on the back burner and Jeonghan was beginning to feel some regret.

"Jeonghan," his mother's voice caught Jeonghan's attention.

"Yes?" Jeonghan turned to look at his mother who had a paper bag in her hands.

"Can you run down to the flower shop and drop these off to Mrs. Wen?" She handed him the bag which smelt of strawberries and cream. "I made a few too many strawberry tarts."

"Sure," Jeonghan nodded.

Without bothering to go get his parka from upstairs, Jeonghan ran as quickly as he could down the street and entered the flower shop. He shivered upon arrival inside the small shop and smiled when he saw Junhui's mother sat on a white stool with papers laid out in front of her. He looked over her shoulder to see the papers and immediately felt his mouth go dry. Plane tickets, she'd bought plane tickets.

"Where're you going?" Jeonghan asked.

"Oh hello, sweetheart," Mrs. Wen gave him a sad smile.

"You're leaving?" Jeonghan set down the paper bag, his eyes searched the older woman's.

"I've been thinking a lot these days," Mrs. Wen sat Jeonghan down on the stool beside her. "As much as I tried to convince myself that I'm not lonely, I just can't keep up this happy façade any longer."

"Oh," Jeonghan squeezed the woman's hand.

"I don't have any family here, Jeonghan. As much as I love our little community I don't think I can be happy if I stay. Jun was my only family and now with it being just me in this shop I just feel so very lonely. You, Soonyoung and Wonwoo have been absolutely wonderful to me but you have your own families and responsibilities. I feel guilty knowing you're cutting your time with your friends just to make sure an old lady like me doesn't eat dinner alone."

"But I don't mind any of that at all," Jeonghan protested.

"I know you don't but I do," Mrs. Wen touched Jeonghan's face.

"Is this really what you want?" Jeonghan covered the older woman's hand with his.

"Yes, sweetheart," the older woman nodded.

"I can't make you change you mind, can I?" Jeonghan asked.

"I've booked my ticket, a one-way trip," Mrs. Wen smiled sadly.

"What's going to happen to the flower shop?"

"It'll become a nice little home for some other family," Mrs. Wen answered as he eyes scanned the shop. "I still have some time before I go, there's a lot to be done."

"That's slightly more comforting," Jeonghan nodded despite the fact that he didn't like it one bit.

He gave the woman a hug before he was sent home with a freshly cut bouquet of Baby's-breath like every other time he'd visited the flower shop. Once he got back to the cafe he wasn't in the mood to deal with customers. Since they were relatively empty, Jeonghan locked himself up inside his bedroom. His first instinct was to reach for his phone but once it was in his hands he realized he had no one to contact. Wonwoo was studying, he and Mingyu weren't on speaking terms and Junhui was...gone. With a frustrated sigh he buried his head into his pillow and screamed. He suddenly had a newfound hate for Wednesdays. Just as he prepared to return downstairs his phone rang. Seungcheol was calling. Reluctantly, Jeonghan picked up.

"Hello?"

"There's a game on tonight, you down? Stakes are pretty high, the bet's going for two hundred bucks if we win," Seungcheol said, the sound of laughter and shouting audible in the background.

"Whose playing?" Jeonghan found himself asking.

"Me, Minghao, Hansol and Jihoon," Seungcheol answered.

All were members of the basketball team. Jeonghan was rather happy with the lineup.

"The usual location?" Jeonghan pulled himself out of bed.

"Yeah, seven o'clock sharp. Wear black," Seungcheol sounded quite hopeful.

"I'll be there," Jeonghan hung up.

It was already a quarter past six, he had forty-five minutes before the game started. Jeonghan rummaged through his closet until he managed to find a pair of tracksuit pants and threw on an oversized black hoodie before pulling up the hood. He pocketed his keys and phone and straightened his new vase of Baby's-breath before he walked out of the cafe. Not telling his parents where he was going was rather out of character for him but in that moment he didn't care. The miniscule act of rebellion made him all the more excited to go out. The sun was long gone and the streetlights took its place. Jeonghan stuck his hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie and walked down to one of local parks where the basketball court was located. The chain link fence surrounding the court dripped wet from the melted snow while the snow around the basketball court's perimeter had turned an unattractive shade of grey. Jeonghan was immediately reminded of why he'd decided to skip games during winter.

"Aye! Over here!" Seungcheol waved a hand over at Jeonghan.

Jeonghan walked over to join Seungcheol and the rest of the team. He gave friendly handshakes to everyone before his eyes scanned the court. It was the same handful of people the usually played against, nothing new. For a split second his mind wandered back to Mingyu, the swimmer wasn't going to be happy once he found out Jeonghan went against his objections but then again Mingyu wasn't his keeper. He was free to do what he wanted and if Mingyu didn't like it, too bad. Jeonghan was doing it anyway. Tightening his shoelaces he looked over at Seungcheol shot him a smile before a playful wink. Jeonghan rolled his eyes and moved to the opposite side of the court -- he was there to play basketball, no other reason. Just before the game started Jeonghan heard his phone ringing in his pocket and promptly picked up.

"I just dropped by the cafe, your mom said you weren't home. Where are you?" Mingyu's voice sounded calm but Jeonghan could tell the swimmer was holding back his anger.

"I'm at a basketball game," Jeonghan answered, voice as neutral as Mingyu's.

There was a long pause.

"I'm coming to get you," Mingyu said.

"What? No!" Jeonghan was getting annoyed. "What are you? My babysitter? I don't need you monitoring me like a drone, just go home."

Mingyu said nothing, he hung up.

Jeonghan stared down at his phone, part of him regretted saying such cold words but the angry part of him pushed that thought aside.

"Alright, alright! All players on the court please! We're starting!" A tall boy shouted before blowing on a whistle hung around his neck.

Jeonghan licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair out of frustration. He cast unpleasant thoughts to the back of his mind and delved right into the game, he'd deal with Mingyu later.

"That's it, that's the end of the fourth quarter! Line up and shake hands, folks! Seungcheol's team wins!" The same boy from before blew his whistle and grabbed the ball from the opposing team.

"Oi, Jeonghan," Seungcheol walked over and handed him a bottle of water.

"Thanks," Jeonghan took the water, he was surprised the liquid hadn't frozen from the cold.

"Good job out there, me and the guys are using the winnings to go grab dinner. You coming?" Seungcheol asked as he watched Jeonghan wipe away the sweat on his brow.

"I think I'll skip, I don't have much of an appetite," Jeonghan said as he stretched his arms above his head.

"What's wrong? You've had that look on your face the entire game," Seungcheol reached out touching Jeonghan's cheek.

Jeonghan immediately pulled away taking a step back from the basketball player.

"It's nothing you need to worry about," Jeonghan brushed off as he turned to leave.

"Are you and Mingyu dating?" Seungcheol stepped around him.

Jeonghan froze. They never said they were dating so technically if he said they weren't it wasn't a lie.

"No, we're not," Jeonghan answered. "Why the sudden interest?"

"I don't know, I just thought it was weird that you two went from almost ripping each other's throats out to Mingyu suddenly following you like a lost puppy," Seungcheol folded his arms over his chest. "He's not bothering you, is he?"

"Don't jump to conclusions, Seungcheol," Jeonghan gave the boy's chest a firm push as he walked by.

"Then what is he to you? A cheap replacement for Jun? A rebound?" Seungcheol followed him.

"He's not a rebound," Jeonghan's tone was firm.

"Then what is he to you?" Seungcheol wasn't letting it slide.

"I don't know, Seungcheol! I don't know what he is to me, okay?! I wish I had an answer but I don't and if this is your way of telling me that you're interested then you can kindly fuck off! Everyone seems to love poking and prodding at my private life, can you do me a favour and take a few steps back?!" Jeonghan felt his composer crash and burn at his feet.

"Jeonghan, I'm sorry-" Jeonghan put up his hand silencing his friend.

"Go enjoy you celebratory dinner, forget this conversation ever happened. It's the least you can do," Jeonghan said to the basketball player before he turned on his heel and headed home.

Jeonghan felt like the walk back to the cafe took longer than it usually did, most likely because it was because he'd burnt off all his energy during the basketball game. He let out a rather loud sneeze before walking past the whute picket fence of the cafe -- he definitely didn't wear enough layers. Just as he reached the porch he saw a tall figure loitering by ine of the outdoor tables. Jeonghan frowned, it was Mingyu.

"What are you doing here?" Jeonghan asked, hands fisted at his sides.

"You looked awfully happy just now at the basketball game," was the first thing that left Mingyu's lips.

"So you were spying," Jeonghan accused.

"Look, I'm sorry for being dick earlier at school okay? I got up in my feelings, I was hotheaded," Mingyu approached Jeonghan.

"That's it?" Jeonghan wasn't buying it.

"What else do you want me to say? Can't we just look past this as just another instance of miscommunication? We've always had problems like this, haven't we?"

"You want to brush this under the rug and pretend that this is a normal occurrence for us?" Jeonghan was getting more and more frustrated.

"That's not what I'm saying," Mingyu's own frustration was beginning to surface.

"Then what are you trying to say, Mingyu?" Jeonghan waited.

"You know, you can be an outright headache sometimes, you know that? I came here to apologise yet you're pointing out everything wrong with what I just said. Why can't you just forgive and forget? Why are you so fucking sensitive?"

"Me?! I'm sensitive?!" Jeonghan was genuinely offended. "Need I remind you that I wasn't the one who walked out on our conversation this afternoon. Speaking of walking out, what about the number of times throughout this week that you've practically flung yourself in the opposite direction just because you didn't want anyone finding out about us, huh? You think I didn't notice?"

"You're just finding reasons to be angry now," Mingyu narrowed his eyes.

"Am I wrong? People finding out we're together would hurt your precious masculinity, wouldn't it? God forbid if your jock friends found out about our little rendezvous in the locker room or our little dates in the middle of bum fuck nowhere," Jeonghan knew he was making low blows.

"I think I've heard enough," Mingyu said as he brushed past Jeonghan.

"Your mom painted a rather clear picture of what you're doing with your life, Mingyu," Jeonghan's words made Mingyu stop in his tracks. "I was never going to be a part if that picture was I? I'm just here for your experimentation until you move on and live your life by their rules, right?"

Jeonghan waited, the silence told him exactly what he wanted to know. He'd hit the nail right on the head. Mingyu wasn't making any objections.

"Get home safe," Jeonghan looked over his shoulder briefly before he headed inside.

Mingyu left without as much as a goodbye.

Chapter Text

Spending lunch period alone roaming the halls wasn't Jeonghan's idea of fun but it was far better than sitting in the cafeteria. The sticky communal tables and the loud noise combined with the odd smells of body odor from his peers almost made him nauseous. After his fight with Mingyu the two had cut off communication completely. According to Jeonghan's phone log he hadn't spoken to Mingyu since last Wednesday -- it had been well over a week. Sure he felt some regret after giving himself time to calm down but he was also unable to shake off the fact that Mingyu had made no protest to his accusations.

"Hey, you got a minute?" Seungcheol's voice caught Jeonghan's attention.

"That depends on what you want," Jeonghan answered as he kept walking.

"I want to apologise for how I acted last week after the game," Seungcheol said.

"Okay," Jeonghan didn't slow his pace.

"I pushed you into a corner, you have no idea how bad I feel about that," Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan by the wrist.

"I get it, I forgive you," Jeonghan yanked himself out of the basketball player's grip.

"Then why do you look like you're going to cry?" Seungcheol cocked his head.

"I..." Jeonghan swallowed. "I have issues okay? I'm not exactly in the best condition right now and I don't feel like explaining myself alright? "

"I didn't say you had to," Seungcheol gave Jeonghan's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"I just need some peace and quiet, that's all I'm asking," Jeonghan blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"Come here," Seungcheol pulled Jeonghan into his chest and rubbing his back.

"What are you doing?" Jeonghan struggled.

"I'm just giving you a shoulder to lean on, okay? I'm not doing anything more than that and I'm not expecting anything in return. You just look like you need it," Seungcheol said as he held onto the back of Jeonghan's head.

Jeonghan wanted to protest but the warmth radiating from the other boy did help ease the tension in his body. He closed his eyes taking deep breaths before allowing his arms to grip at the back of Seungcheol's sweater. Seungcheol was comforting him as a friend nothing more, nothing less -- he had no reason to feel guilty, absolutely none. When he finally opened his eyes he felt his heart sink into his stomach. Mingyu stood on the other side of the hall staring right in his direction. The swimmer's jaw was clenched tight as he turned and disappeared down the stairs. Jeonghan suddenly felt ill all over again. Mingyu had definitely read the situation wrong.

"Mingyu! Wait!" Jeonghan pulled himself away from Seungcheol and trailed after the taller boy.

Mingyu quickened his pace.

Jeonghan cursed as he almost lost his footing on one if the steps as he continued to pursue the swimmer. He followed Mingyu down the hall and quickly broke into a jog as the taller boy disappeared down into the basement level. Jeonghan stopped running when he was at the entrance leading to the indoor pool. Mingyu stood by the edge with his back turned to the brunette. Jeonghan bit at his lower lip.

"You know, if you didn't want to be with me anymore you could've just come right out and said it," Mingyu pivoted around.

"Mingyu, you've got this all wrong," Jeonghan tried to explain.

"I don't think so, Jeonghan. You made your position very clear regarding us being together and what you pulled just now was fucking self explanatory!" Mingyu's composure shattered.

"You're not even going to let me explain?" Jeonghan searched Mingyu's eyes.

"Explain what, Jeonghan?! That you're ready to look for someone who doesn't have to hide who they are?! I get it, you hate having to snoop around and I know it sucks that I can't give you the kind of relationship you want but have you ever tried to see things from my perspective?" Mingyu grabbed Jeonghan by his biceps. "I've spent my whole life living according what my parents want, this was the first time I ever acted out on my own. Going after you was the first time I actually did something for myself."

Jeonghan opened his mouth to speak but Mingyu quickly continued.

"I didn't care about any of the other things, I only cared about you," Mingyu finally let go of Jeonghan.

"Are you able to look me in the eye and tell me that we'll still be something once we leave this place?" Jeonghan looked up at the swimmer. "After graduation is there going to be an us?"

Mingyu hesitated before he hung his head.

"I didn't think so," Jeonghan shook his head.

Jeonghan knew he should've left at that point but feet didn't want to move. Instead he brought his hands up to touch Mingyu's face forcing the taller boy to meet his gaze. The boy's eyes were filled with a sadness Jeonghan had never witnessed before. He gave Mingyu a sad smile as he touched the boy's cheek.

"You know, losing Jun was one of the worst things that's happened to me," Jeonghan began. "I was an absolute mess, completely miserable but then you came along with that headstrong persistence and your sweet words. It hasn't been very long but during the time we were together I was able to forget about all things that were making me unhappy and you were at the root of it. You have no idea how thankful I am to you, Mingyu."

"I think we were both way over our heads, we never had a serious discussion about any of these issues when it should have been the first priority. To be perfectly honest with you I thought you were going to turn me down when I first told you how I felt. I got so caught up that I didn't realise that we're splitting off into opposite directions."

"I'm sorry for what I said to you that night, I know I can't take it back and I won't hold it against you if you can't forgive me; but let me make this clear, what you saw between me and Seungcheol was nothing more than a friend lending me a shoulder, okay? If we're going our separate ways, I want us to part without any misunderstandings."

"I saw this coming but I didn't expect it to feel this horrible," Mingyu reached out to cup Jeonghan's hand which was still on his cheek.

"If we don't end things now we'll only just hurt each other more," Jeonghan whispered. "We're a sinking ship, we have to let go before we go down with it."

"What will we be after this?" Mingyu asked.

"I don't know," Jeonghan shook his head. "I have absolutely no clue."

"A little more to the left," Wonwoo said as he watched Soonyoung pin up a poster on the bookstore's back wall. "A little more, keep going. Perfect."

"Can you help me down?" Soonyoung asked the taller boy as he struggled to get down from the stool he was standing on.

Wonwoo grabbed the shorter boy by his waist and lowered him down before giving Soonyoung's hair a gentle tousle. Wonwoo flattened the empty boxes from the store's new shipments and cracked his back while inspecting the finished display he and Soonyoung had spent the entire afternoon preparing. He was rather satisfied with how the display turned out considering how little effort he usually put into the displays when he did them alone. Soonyoung had a keen eye for detail. Volunteering at the flower shop had really benefited the shorter boy.

"Did you hear? Mrs. Wen is going back to China soon," Soonyoung said as he dusted off his hands.

"Yes, I did," Wonwoo nodded, Jeonghan had told him.

"I guess that means I won't be needed there for very much longer," Soonyoung frowned.

"You really liked it there?" Wonwoo asked.

"It was the first time I've ever dealt with flowers in my entire life, sure I still have problems naming and identifying them but it was really therapeutic for me. Picking out complimentary colours, choosing the wrapping paper and tying the bows -- I just really enjoyed it."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I think I might try and find myself a real florist job," Soonyoung nodded to himself.

"I've always wondered, what's your favourite flower, Kwon Soonyoung?" Wonwoo pulled Soonyoung close.

"Sunflowers, no contest," Soonyoung answered wrapping his arms around Wonwoo's neck.

"Why sunflowers?" Wonwoo bent down and pressed their foreheads together.

"Because they will always be searching for the sun," Soonyoung answered. "Like me, I'll always be looking in your direction."

"So you're telling me that you're my own little sunflower?" Wonwoo tightened his hold around Soonyoung's waist.

"Ever since that day you kissed me out in the snow," Soonyoung nodded.

Wonwoo rubbed his thumb over Soonyoung's lower lip before he went in for a kiss. Soonyoung's eyes immediately closed out of habit but Wonwoo kept his gaze on the younger boy. He'd noticed awhile ago that Soonyoung always held his breath when their lips locked and his stubby eyelashes would flutter as it got harder for him to hold it in. Soonyoung was so very endearing and Wonwoo loved teasing him. No matter what pranks he played on Soonyoung, the shorter boy never stayed angry for long. Soonyoung didn't hold grudges and he was tolerant -- Wonwoo almost felt bad that such a sweet soul had fallen for him.

"Tell me, what was your first impression of me?" Wonwoo pulled back giving Soonyoung a moment to catch his breath.

"Well, I don't know if you remember but we met the first time after one of the swimming competitions held at school," Soonyoung said. "You came with Jeonghan to cheer on Jun. You shook my hand but didn't really speak to me after that."

Wonwoo nodded. He didn't do very well in terms of first impressions.

"I have to admit you kind of scared me at first," Soonyoung chuckled. "You had that serious look on your face so I just assumed you were the sullen type but then I saw your smile. I really liked it."

"What do you like about it?" Wonwoo knew he was being needy but he didn't care.

"I like the way your nose scrunches when you're genuinely happy and I like that mischievous glint in your eyes when you smirk. I don't get to hear it very often but I like the sound of your laugh as well," Soonyoung smiled up at the taller boy whose fox-like eyes bore into his very soul.

"I never knew you were such a smooth talker," Wonwoo cupped Soonyoung's head between his large hands.

"Your book recommendations are doing great things for my vocabulary," Soonyoung gave the taller boy a sheepish grin.

"I'll lend you my entire collection if you keep uttering words like that, you know I'm a sucker for well contructed sentences."

"I'll say as many beautiful words as it takes to keep that smile on your face," Soonyoung rested his head on Wonwoo's chest.

"This is so very sickeningly sweet," Wonwoo commented.

"You're enjoying every second of it," Soonyoung said.

"You have no idea," Wonwoo kissed the top of Soonyoung's head.

"I have to get home now but are we still on for food after school tomorrow?" Soonyoung asked as he went to grab his backpack.

"Yes, yes we are," Wonwoo replied as he pulled his black beanie onto Soonyoung's head, he'd given up on getting his beanie back.

"See you tomorrow then," Soonyoung waved his hand as he began walking back to the train station.

"Bye," Wonwoo leaned against the threshold with a dumb smile on his face as he watched Soonyoung disappear down the road.

Just as he was about to walk back into the bookstore, Wonwoo saw Jeonghan making his way back to the cafe. His friend's back was hunched over and the look on his face could've only be interpreted as one of pure disappointment. Wonwoo knew things weren't going very well for the brunette since he'd caught the uncomfortable exchange between the two lovebirds while he was closing the shop last Wednesday. He had intended to leave the two be since it was none of his business but they'd both been so loud it was impossible not to eavesdrop. After listening to both sides of the argument Wonwoo had felt physically exhausted even though it wasn't even his problem. No one was right or wrong, the two boys were just dealt with shitty a situation where neither of them could win.

"Hey! You free to talk?" Wonwoo asked as Jeonghan approached the cafe.

Jeonghan looked hesitant.

"Come on, I insist," Wonwoo nodded into the bookstore.

Jeonghan walked up the stairs of the bookstore and gave Wonwoo a glance as he stepped inside. He plopped himself down on a stool by the register and promptly removed his scarf. The young barista looked exhausted, his usual porcelain complexion had turned sallow and he looked even thinner than before. Wonwoo frowned as he poured both of them some tea from his thermos. Jeonghan didn't even flinch when the hot liquid scalded his tongue, he was just that out of it.

"I'm guessing you just got some bad news?" Wonwoo sat down on the stool opposite the register.

"Really bad news," Jeonghan nodded.

"I feel like every time the two of us are together it's always something negative," Wonwoo tried to lighten the mood.

"Mingyu and I ended it today, it's too hard," Jeonghan said as he fiddled with the cup in his hands.

"Ah," Wonwoo replied, he saw it coming but he still felt bad hearing it come from Jeonghan's mouth. "What happens now? Are you able to be friendly with each other?"

"I don't know," Jeonghan shook his head. "I don't know if I'll be able to control my emotions if I see him with someone else."

"You are quite impulsive," Wonwoo agreed.

"Thanks," Jeonghan rolled his eyes, Wonwoo really needed to work on his consoling skills.

"I really wish I had some helpful things to say to you but I don't have much experience with love," Wonwoo gave Jeonghan a pat on a back.

"No, it's okay. I can't come crawling to you for help every time I mess up. You're not my therapist, though sometimes I feel like I really should go see one," Jeonghan sighed.

"You know, sometimes a good book is all you need to distract yourself," Wonwoo stood up and began scanning the shelves.

The fox-eyed boy adjusted his glasses as he looked at one of the lower shelves before coming back with the one he'd chosen. Jeonghan took it from Wonwoo and cocked a brow at the title. It was a children's book.

"Charlotte's Web?" Jeonghan asked.

"Jun really liked that book, remember?"

"Yeah, I used to read it with him when we were younger. He used it to practice his Korean," Jeonghan nodded, Junhui would highlight and write notes in the margins of the pages whenever he came across words he didn't understand.

"Take it, allow your mind to wander. Don't think about the negatives," Wonwoo said as Jeonghan headed for the door.

"I'll try," Jeonghan said as he waved to Wonwoo.

Jeonghan walked into the cafe and kissed his mother on the cheek as he headed upstairs. He turned on the light in his room and laid down in bed curling himself into a ball. He really didn't know what he was going to do. His head was muddled and his heart felt heavy. First Junhui, now Mingyu. He really didn't have any luck when it came to love. Jeonghan placed the book Wonwoo had given him down by his nightstand and quickly caught the sheet of paper that fluttered out from under it. He unfolded the crinkled sheet of paper and frowned, he'd forgotten that he was in possession of Junhui's bucket list. Jeonghan's eyes travelled down the paper before going back up to the very first dot point.

"China," Jeonghan mumbled.

He chewed on his bottom lip as he tapped his thumb against the paper in his hands. There were so many things Junhui had wanted to do, many things that he wanted to share with Jeonghan. The brunette pushed himself off the mattress and headed back downstairs. He jogged down to the flower shop and peeked through the glass door before letting himself in. Mrs. Wen's flinched at the sudden noise before her features relaxed into a smile.

"Hello, sweetheart," the woman set down the bouquet of roses she was working on. "What can I do for you?"

"Do you have room for an extra person in your new home?" Jeonghan asked, he was so very nervous.

"Extra person? Jeonghan, you want to go with me? Why dear?" Mrs. Wen pulled him over to the counter.

Jeonghan held up Junhui's bucket list.

"Oh, Jeonghan," Mrs. Wen clutched her heart.

"He didn't get to do any of these things, I want to do it for him. I think it's the only way I'll get closure," Jeonghan said. "I also have some selfish reasons for doing this, I think I need some time away from here. I want to start fresh, it's suffocating being here, Mrs. Wen."

"I have no objections as long as your parents agree as well," Mrs. Wen patted the back of his hand.

"Thank you," Jeonghan pulled the woman into a hug.

Jeonghan finally had a goal, he was going to fulfill Junhui's bucket list.

"Are you sure you've checked the engine? Can you have your crew check it again just in case? What if the plane has a loose wing? Can you do like a wriggle test?" Jeonghan sighed as he watched a flustered Soonyoung pestering the airport employees by the gate.

"He's very persistent, isn't he?" Wonwoo shook his head as Soonyoung followed the male employee who looked rather uncomfortable with Soonyoung's unending plethora of questions.

"He's just looking out for me and Mrs. Wen, I think it's adorable," Jeonghan smiled.

"He's been emailing the airline for a week straight, they stopped replying after a while," Wonwoo chuckled as Soonyoung moved onto harassing a different employee.

"You're really leaving, it really hasn't hit me yet. I just can't imagine not seeing you every day, we've been right next door to each other for over ten years," Wonwoo said.

"We're living in the digital age, you can facetime me whenever. Sure sharing homework answers won't be possible anymore but we can keep in touch in a lot of ways. Plus, you've got Soonyoung," Jeonghan nodded over at the shorter boy who was pressed up close against the window as he inspected the plane waiting outside.

"All passengers heading to Guangzhou, China on flight AF456 please make your way to gate seventeen," a woman announced on the loud speakers.

"That's us, sweetheart," Mrs. Wen stood from her seat.

"Okay," Jeonghan let out a nervous breath, he eas really leaving.

"Jeonghan," Wonwoo grabbed him by the sleeve.

"What?" Jeonghan turned around.

Wonwoo nodded over at the opposite wall. Mingyu stood looking over at them. Jeonghan felt his heart ache.

"Go on, I'm just going to say some final goodbyes," Jeonghan said to Mrs. Wen before he walked over to Mingyu.

"What are you doing here?" Jeonghan asked the swimmer.

"I don't know," Mingyu answered, the taller boy looked so tired.

"Well it's nice to see you," Jeonghan said.

"Do you hate me that much? Why are you leaving?" Mingyu asked.

"I don't hate you, I'm going for my own reasons. Don't blame yourself," Jeonghan gave the taller boy's hand a squeeze.

"Are you coming back soon?"

"No," Jeonghan shook his head, Junhui's bucket list was a long one -- it was going to take a while.

"I hope you get there safely," Mingyu said.

"Can you do me a favour?" Jeonghan looked up at the taller boy.

"What is it?" Mingyu asked.

"Be happy," Jeonghan got on his tiptoes and gave Mingyu's parched lips a quick peck.

He waved at the swimmer as he picked up his carry-on and headed for the gate and didn't turn back. He didn't want Mingyu to see him cry.

"I love you," Mingyu whispered long after Jeonghan had disappeared.

Chapter Text

Six Years Later

"Have you received my draft yet?" Jeonghan asked with his phone braced between his ear and shoulder.

"Yes, I did. I'm surprised you actually managed to get it done before the deadline, something good happen?" Wonwoo asked from the other end of the phone.

"What can I say? Living in Paris does amazing things for one's creativity," Jeonghan said as he poured himself a glass of wine.

"How'd the book signing go?" Wonwoo asked.

"Good, a few mishaps from the language barrier but that's a given," Jeonghan answered.

"You're definitely coming back to Korea for the next release right? You can't back out again this time," Wonwoo said.

"I know," Jeonghan sighed.

"I've got a meeting with the publishers, I'll call you back," Wonwoo hung up.

Jeonghan set down his phone and and stared blankly at the glass in his hands. He swirled the dark red liquid before downing it in one go. Never in a million years did he think he would ever become a writer, a children's writer at that. He'd always thought it was Wonwoo who would go onto writing his own books but his friend was a reader, not a writer. Jeonghan had started off sending Wonwoo small anecdotes with small doodles he'd drawn on napkins before he began sharing them on his social media accounts. He didn't expect to gain a following off of it but that was exactly what happened.

Jeonghan had been sceptical when he received his first email from a publishing company during his second year living in China. He'd left the email in his inbox and did a thorough search to check the company's legitimacy. After asking Wonwoo for a second opinion he'd emailed them back. Jeonghan signed a one year contract where he'd provide the publisher short stories accompanied by simple drawings. His first breakthrough was when he'd released a story called 'Goodbye,' a story about a rabbit whose friend, a cat, passes away. It was inspired by his own experience losing Junhui but because of how delicately it dealt with the topic of death, the book became a hit with families with small children. His second big break was another book released only a month later with the same rabbit moving away from his friend, a golden retriever -- it was loosely based on his relationship with Mingyu only without the crushing heartbreak. He'd roped in Wonwoo as his editor promising that it was only temporary but Wonwoo ended up keeping the role since the pay was good.

Jeonghan walked over to his dining table in his small apartment and sat down. He set down his glass and looked over at the bookshelf where all of his stories were lined up. He'd written so many that he no longer kept track of what number he was on. Letting out a deep breath he opened up his laptop and looked up his flight information, he was heading back to South Korea in the morning -- it felt so surreal. He hadn't gone back in so long. Jeonghan went and packed up the last of his items before he went into his bedroom and took Junhui's bucket list off the cork board by his desk. He'd crossed off everything on the list. Jeonghan carefully folded the paper and slipped it into his backpack. He had accomplished everything Junhui wanted.

Arriving at Incheon Airport was an interesting experience. After living in foreign countries for so long it felt strange hearing the Korean language everywhere around him. He walked through immigration and picked up his bags before heading straight for the arrival gate. Just as he stepped out his eyes gravitated to an excited looking Soonyoung waving a bouquet of blue Baby's-breath while Wonwoo held onto his free hand. Jeonghan had to remind himself constantly that Wonwoo was Soonyoung's boyfriend and not the shorter boy's mother.

"Thank you," Jeonghan said as Soonyoung offered him the bouquet.

"How was the flight?" Wonwoo asked him as he took one of Jeonghan's bags.

"Good, turbulence at descent was a little rocky but overall like any other flight," Jeonghan answered as they made their way back to Wonwoo's car.

They loaded up his bags into the back and Jeonghan took the liberty of sitting in the backseat. He didn't want to disturb the happy couple. They rode for the first fifteen minutes in complete silence until Soonyoung cleared his throat.

"How long are you planning to stay in Korea? Are you leaving after the book signing or are you sticking around for a little longer?" Soonyoung asked.

"I'm not too sure, It's been a while since I've seen my parents. I kind of just want to relax and catch up with people, maybe even stay permanently," Jeonghan said.

"Wonwoo said you crossed off everything on Jun's bucket list," Soonyoung gave him a timid look. "Is that why you're considering moving back here?"

"I guess you could say I'm just testing the waters first, I haven't made a solid decision yet," Jeonghan answered.

"I hope you do stay, though. Talking to you through a computer screen just isn't the same," Soonyoung said before turning back around.

Jeonghan felt a little bad hearing Soonyoung's words but he wasn't going to let that sway his decision. If he wasn't happy in Korea then he wasn't going to stay, he'd spent the last six years of his life living without anyone holding him down. Getting back into a routine was going to be difficult, he didn't know if he'd be able to handle it.

Jeonghan felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia wash over him the closer they got to his old neighborhood. The entrance to the train station hadn't changed in the slightest and the small little food stalls around the area smelt the same. Wonwoo drove down the road and stopped the car in front of Cafe Serenity where the Victorian garden immediately came into view. The rose bushes were larger than Jeonghan remembered and the patio furniture had been upgraded. He took his bags out of the car and thanked Wonwoo and Soonyoung before he headed up to the wooden steps. He gave the glass door a light tap and immediately his mother came running. The older woman flung her broom to the side before unlocking the door and pulling Jeonghan inside.

"Miss me?" Jeonghan asked his mother whose grip was surprisingly strong.

"You need to call us more, Yoon Jeonghan," his mother griped as she pulled his face down to get a better look at him.

"I'm sorry," he apologised and returned his mother's hug.

"Hi, son," his father poked his head out from the kitchen, the man was covered in flour and his fingers were messy with dough.

"Hi, dad," Jeonghan chuckled, the man was always going to prioritize the store's pastries over everything else.

He dumped all his stuff upstairs and went to wash up in the bathroom. It felt so strange being in his own room again after so long. His mother must've done regular maintenance of his room as there were no traces of dust anywhere and the bedsheets smelt fresh and clean. He hung his coat up on the hook behind his door and headed back down to join his dad in the kitchen.

"Are you still any good at piping? I hope you haven't gotten rusty," his father handed him a bag of cream.

"These are the type of things I can't forget, I've been making buttercream flowers since I was in the second grade, dad," how dare his father question his skills as a pastry chef.

"Then be a good boy and make your old man some buttercream flowers for those cupcakes," his dad said as he went to put another tray of cupcakes in the oven.

As expected his first attempt wasn't as pretty as he wanted but his second turned out pretty decent. By the fourth buttercream rose he'd managed to perfect his craft. Jeonghan worked alongside his father as they caught up and chatted while they sipped at the cups of tea his mother had left them on the counter. It felt nice, like he was seventeen again. Jeonghan didn't remember the last time he'd had a heart to heart with his parents. The smell of roasted coffee beans and powdered sugar were all so very comforting. By the time the sun had gone down Jeonghan had piped buttercream flowers on a total of thirty-six cupcakes, iced three strawberry shortcakes and one very large blueberry cheesecake. Seeing the familiar desserts brought back memories...memories of a tall boy with dark hair who held the universe in his eyes.

"Jeonghan, could you lock up the front when you're done? Me and your mother are calling it a night," his father hung up apron before walking upstairs.

"Sure," Jeonghan nodded.

He put all the cakes into the display cabinet at the store's front before doing a quick check of the cafe's front. The floors had been swept clean, the tables were wiped and so had the windows. All that was left to clean was the coffee machine. Jeonghan really felt like he was back in high school, everything felt so familiar. Just as he opened the front door to check on the patio furniture, he heard a small gasp followed by sniffling. Jeonghan's eyes widened when his gaze met that of a small boy wearing a blue coat sitting on the cafe's top step. The boy looked terrified and his flushed cheeks were stained with tears. Jeonghan was shocked.

"Are you alright there, bud?" Jeonghan asked.

"I'm sorry Mr. I'll leave," the boy looked about five years old.

"Wait, hold on," Jeonghan bent down so he was eye level with the boy. "What are you doing out here by yourself?"

"I shouldn't talk to strangers," the boy shook his head.

"Oh, good point. Your parents taught you well," Jeonghan nodded.

"Not really," the boy pouted.

"Are you lost?" Jeonghan asked.

"I'm..." The boy looked down at his feet before looking back up at Jeonghan. "Yes, I'm lost."

"Do you know your address? Do you have your mommy or daddy's phone number on you?" Jeonghan cocked his head.

"I don't know," the boy sniffled.

"Do you want to come in? I might be able to help you find your parents," Jeonghan said as he stepped aside.

The little boy looked hesitant but the brightly lit interior and the cake cabinet had the little boy's full attention. Jeonghan kept his distance since he didn't want to make the younger boy feel uncomfortable. Stranger danger was very real and he didn't want to scare the kid, the poor thing was probably scared enough as it was.

"Do you want me to call the police? They'd be of more help than me," Jeonghan pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Please, don't! I'll be in trouble!" The boy immediately clutched at the hem of Jeonghan's sweater.

"Are you sure?" Jeonghan couldn't believe he was listening to a five year old -- what was wrong with him?

"Please," the little boy's pleading eyes tugged at his heartstrings, he was a pushover for little ones.

"Are you cold? Hungry? Thirsty?" Jeonghan began asking.

"A little," the boy nodded.

"You're cold, hungry and thirsty?" Jeonghan chuckled.

"Yes," the young boy nodded.

"Take a seat," Jeonghan gestured over to a table by the window.

Jeonghan watched the five year old pull out a chair for himself before he carefully climbed up and sat down. His little boot clad feet swung beneath the table, Jeonghan was squealing internally. He went over to the coffee machine where he heated up some milk under the steam wand. He peeped over the top of the machine and eyed the little boy whose eyes travelled around the cafe's interior. Something about the little boy's caramel complexion and his tapered eyes felt so familiar but Jeonghan couldn't put his finger on it. He cut off a slice of blueberry cheesecake and brought it over to the table. The little boy's eyes lit up when he saw the dessert. Jeonghan handed him a fork and the boy dug in.

"Am I allowed to know how you ended up at my doorstep?" Jeonghan leaned his elbow on the table as he watched his little guest eat.

"Mommy and daddy were really loud. They were shouting in the living room," the boy said between mouthfuls. "I didn't like it so I left."

"I see," Jeonghan nodded.

"You're really different from my daddy, Mr," the boy said.

"How so?" Jeonghan was curious.

"He's always angry, he gets angry at mommy all the time because she goes to fairs."

"Fairs?" Jeonghan was confused for a moment before he put two and two together. "You mean affair?"

"Yeah, I don't know why daddy doesn't want mommy to go to fairs. They're really fun."

"Oh dear," Jeonghan felt bad for his little friend -- the kid had no idea.

"What's your name, Mr?" The boy sipped a mouthful of warm milk.

"I'm Jeonghan, Yoon Jeonghan. You can call me Jeonghan-hyung. I feel old being called Mr," Jeonghan said as he wiped the boy's mouth with a napkin.

"Your name sounds a little like mine, my name is Kim Daehan," the boy smiled.

"That's a very strong name you have, your dad must have high hopes for you," Daehan was precious.

"I like this shop," the boy's attention suddenly shifted, as expected of a five year old.

"You do?" Jeonghan continued wiping the boy's mouth as he ate.

"Yes! It looks like the cafe in 'Hani the Rabbit,'"Daehan nodded.

Jeonghan felt a genuine burst of happiness in the pit of his stomach. The kid read his books.

"The garden outside looks the same as the one Hani the rabbit and Junnie the cat played in," Daehan said. "The tables look like the one Mango the golden retriever liked sleeping on."

"You like reading?" Jeonghan asked.

"Yeah," Daehan finished off the rest of his milk.

"Talking to you has been really fun but I need to get you home, little man."

"I don't want to," Daehan frowned.

"Is it because you don't want to listen to your parents fight?" Jeonghan ruffled Daehan's jet black hair.

"Yeah."

"I know it's hard but you have to go home, your parents must be worried sick," Jeonghan reasoned.

"Yes but..." Daehan twiddled with his fingers.

"You're scared they'll be angry at you when you go back?" Jeonghan guessed.

Daehan nodded.

"Of course they'll be angry but they're only angry because they care about you," Jeonghan said.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," Jeonghan nodded.

Daehan rummaged through his coat pockets and handed Jeonghan a piece of laminated paper. Jeonghan read through the simple text and felt his smile fall right off his face. In bold block letters was the name Kim Mingyu followed by a phone number and an address. Daehan was Mingyu's son. Fuck. He cleared his throat and shook himself out of his state of shock before he grabbed his house keys. He helped Daehan off his chair and ushered the boy out. His heart beat like a jackhammer in his chest -- it almost hurt. They walked together side by side with Daehan having to occasionally quicken his pace to catch up with Jeonghan's longer strides. After a few blocks Daehan reached out and held onto Jeonghan's pinky finger. Just as they turned a corner he felt Daehan's small hand grab another one of his fingers.

"Your hands are really soft," Daehan commented.

"Are they?" Jeonghan's voice was monotone, he still couldn't believe he was with Mingyu's son.

"Yeah, daddy's hand is really rough," Daehan nodded. "His face is really prickly too."

"I know," Jeonghan said and immediately back pedaled. "I mean, that's nice to know."

"It tickles when he kisses my cheek," Daehan continued.

Jeonghan also knew that.

"Does your dad like swimming?" Jeonghan knew he was being nosy but he didn't care.

"Swimming? Daddy doesn't swim," Daehan answered.

"Oh," Jeonghan frowned, that was sad to hear.

"Daddy works a lot, I don't see him much."

"He must be a hard worker," Jeonghan said as they approached a strip of modern looking houses. "Does this place look familiar to you?"

"Oh! The one with the blue mailbox is my house!" Daehan pointed with a pudgy finger.

Jeonghan turned to face the younger boy and squatted down so they were on the same level. He held the boy's hands in his and gave the young boy a smile.

"I'm going to say goodbye to you here, okay?" Jeonghan said.

"What?" Daehan frowned.

"Don't tell your dad that you met me, okay?" Jeonghan begged.

"But why?"

"Because I'm scared of him too, I'm a stranger and your dad might think I'm a bad person, " Jeonghan knew he was making up excuses but he really didn't want to get involved with Mingyu, not again.

"But you're not a bad person," Daehan was persistent...just like his dad.

"Yes but your dad doesn't know that. This'll be a secret, just between us," Jeonghan held out his pinky finger.

"Will I see you again?" Daehan linked his pinky with Jeonghan's.

"Yes," Jeonghan nodded -- lying to a child was bad but he needed to get the hell out of there.

"Okay," Daehan smiled.

Jeonghan waved at the little boy as he waddled up to his house's front door before he hid himself behind a brick wall two houses down. He listened to the sound of a door opening before a woman's panicked voice met his ears. A deep male voice followed right after.

"Kim Daehan, don't you dare pull something like this ever again! Do you have any idea how worried I was?!" Jeonghan's breath hitched, that was the first time he'd heard Mingyu's voice in six years.

"Sorry, daddy," Daehan's shaky voice apologised.

"Come on, let's get you warmed up," Mingyu's angry tone turned tender.

When he heard the front door close Jeonghan stepped out of his hiding place and looked at the house. He swallowed the lump in his throat and stuck his hands inside his pockets. Mingyu had a family. He had a child. Jeonghan turned his back to the picturesque neighbourhood and headed back home. As he walked he noticed wetness trickle down his face, at first he thought it was rain but after touching his face he quickly realised they were tears, his tears. Why was he crying? He didn't have a reason to, they'd broken up well over six years ago so why did he feel so sad for Mingyu?

"I told you to be happy," Jeonghan muttered as he continued his lonely trek back to Cafe Serenity.

Chapter Text

"Can you move that to the bedroom?" Jeonghan asked one of the movers who was carrying his nightstand.

He wiped the layer of sweat off his brow and continued to carry boxes full of his belongings into his new apartment. Yes he'd previously said he wasn't one hundred percent on board with moving back to Korea but a chance encounter with an online ad had changed all that. He'd managed to find a listing for a two bedroom apartment in an upscale apartment complex for a dirt cheap price because it had belonged to a newly divorced woman who wanted to get rid of the property as fast as she could. A quick phone call and a face to face meeting later Jeonghan landed himself an apartment. The woman who sold him the apartment was a lovely lady, too bad her husband decided that gambling was more important than this wife and marriage.

"That's all your stuff delivered and accounted for, your invoice should come in a couple of days," the man in charge of the moving team said before handing Jeonghan a clipboard and a pen.

Jeonghan quickly read through the document before signing his name at the bottom.

"Thank you," Jeonghan nodded and escorted the men out of his new place.

Once he was left alone, Jeonghan scanned the unfamiliar surroundings and took a deep breath. He'd lived by himself for a while now yet being alone in the apartment felt so...odd. Jeonghan headed straight for the bedroom where he unpacked all of the small knick knacks he'd collected throughout his travels and put the photograph of him, Junhui and Wonwoo up on one of the shelves of his bookcase. Just as he was about to put away the box he'd unpacked, a rattling was heard -- he'd seemed to have missed an item. He reached in and pulled out a smaller photo frame, he immediately smiled. It was the photo he and Mingyu had taken on their snow day outing six years ago. He ran his hand down the photo and chuckled at their matching navy blue outfits. They both looked so happy. He set down the frame and checked the time on his phone, it was six o'clock at night and he still had his book signing to go to. He quickly changed into a loose white button-down shirt and a simple pair of black trousers before grabbing his coat off the back of the couch.

Jeonghan sent a message to Wonwoo notifying his friend that he was on his way before he travelled down to the residential parking lot and got in his car, well, technically it was his dad's car since he hadn't committed to buying his own yet. The drive to the Kyobo bookstore in Gwanghwamun was...interesting, the hazardous driving style of the taxis on the road reminded him of his time in China with Mrs. Wen. It was both nostalgic and absolutely fucking terrifying. Luckily he made it to the book signing location without a fatality. He was greeted by Wonwoo at the bookstore's entrance, the taller man was dressed in a black turtle neck and in his hand was a brown leather folder.

"Just in time, the signing is starting soon," Wonwoo said as he directed Jeonghan over to an area that was sectioned off.

"How many people am I seeing today?" Jeonghan asked as he sat down at a table set up behind a partition.

"According to list there should only be one hundred people who are allowed entry," Wonwoo opened his folder. "Everyone who gained entry needs to get their name checked off as they come in."

"That's a little strict isn't it?" Jeonghan thought, his other book signings weren't like that. He just kept signing until there was no one left.

"You underestimate your own popularity, we'd be here all night if we don't put a cap on the number of people in the signing," Wonwoo said, he had a point.

"Okay, then let's get started," Jeonghan cracked his knuckles and picked up his pen.

As expected the children who came were more excited to see him then their parents. Chatting with small children was always an enjoyable experience for Jeonghan since they treated the characters in his book as if they were real people. The twinkle in their eyes as they spoke about their favourite book in his series made Jeonghan smile ear to ear. Occasionally there were older fans and more often than not he would always receive a proposition for something that wasn't an autograph -- that was the one aspect he hated but other than that the experience was positive. By the time he'd reached the final person it was nine o'clock and he had consumed three cans of energy drink to keep up with his young audience. He waved goodbye to a little girl and her mother and stretched his arms over his head, the bones in his neck and back sounded like he was making popcorn -- that probably wasn't healthy.

"Are you able to make an exception? Just five minutes, I promise it won't be long," Jeonghan heard a familiar voice.

"I'm sorry sir but the signing is already over, I can't let you through," one of the bookstore employees said.

"Hey, let them in! I'll take full responsibility for the consequences," Jeonghan gave the employee a light tap on the shoulder, it was only one extra person and he was in no rush. It wasn't like he had someone waiting for him back home.

"Thank you so much for-" Kim Mingyu in all his bronzed glory walked around the partition.

Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. He was fucked.

"Jeonghan?" Mingyu's eyes met his.

"Hi," Jeonghan said, he suddenly forgot how to breathe.

"Oh hi, Jeonghan-hyung!" Daehan's excited voice shouted. "Remember me?"

Jeonghan looked down to see Daehan waving at him with a pudgy hand. The small boy was dressed in light blue overalls and a white baseball cap while a copy of Jeonghan's book was clutched in his other hand. Mingyu looked questioningly over at his son before turning his attention back over to Jeonghan. There was a patch of sweat forming at the back of Jeonghan's neck and he was painfully aware of how intense Mingyu's stare was.

"Well this is quite the predicament," Jeonghan tried lighten the mood.

"You're the author?" Mingyu's eyebrows drew together.

"The one and only," Jeonghan nodded, the air was so very tense.

"This is just fucking peachy," Mingyu ran a hand through his jet black locks.

"Daddy, that's a bad word," Daehan pulled at the hem of his father's sweater.

"Sorry," Mingyu ruffled his son's hair.

"Still want to do the signing?" Jeonghan asked.

"Yes!" Daehan answered first.

"Alright, come over here," Jeonghan waved his hand and Daehan immediately ran over.

"How come you didn't tell me you wrote it?" Daehan pouted as he handed Jeonghan his copy of the book.

"It completely slipped my mind, I was busy trying to get you home, little man," Jeonghan said as he signed the front page.

"I didn't tell daddy about you, I kept my promise," Daehan whispered to him.

"Thank you," Jeonghan smiled, though the secret wasn't a secret anymore.

Mingyu wasn't stupid, he could put two and two together. Jeonghan was just scared of how Mingyu was going to react, maybe that was why he was dragging out his conversation with Daehan for so long. He didn't want to face the boy's father.

"Hey, Daehan. Do you want to check out that shelf over there? They're all new stories from 'Hani the Rabbit,' go and take a look. I'm going to talk to your daddy for a bit, okay?" Jeonghan pointed to a small shelf to his right.

"Yes!" Daehan made a dash for said shelf and plopped himself down on the floor.

"I need an explanation, from the beginning. How do you know Daehan and how does Daehan know you?" Mingyu asked the minute they came face to face.

"Remember that night he ran away from home?" Jeonghan asked. "He got lost and wandered down to Cafe Serenity."

"That explains a few things," Mingyu mumbled.

"Explain what?" Jeonghan was curious.

"He kept talking about blueberry cheesecake and a blue house," Mingyu breathed.

"Ah, of course he did," Jeonghan smiled sadly, Daehan was just like Mingyu.

"Thank you for taking him home, you have no idea how thankful I am," Mingyu held out his hand for a shake.

"No worries," Jeonghan took it and immediately felt the familiar temperature difference between their hands, Mingyu's was always warmer than his own -- the calluses brought back memories he'd buried in the back of his mind.

"You still look the same," Mingyu said, he didn't let go of Jeonghan's hand.

Jeonghan looked down at their hands before his eyes travelled up to look at Mingyu's face. His ex-lover's jaw was sharper than Jeonghan remembered and his eyes held a cautious reservation that the old Mingyu didn't. Mingyu was still as handsome as he was in the past but the overall warmth that radiated off the swimmer was no longer there, he just seemed cold and withdrawn. Jeonghan could feel a lump form in his throat but quickly recovered before it got the better of him.

"How are you?"Jeonghan asked.

"Do you want a default answer or the truth?" Mingyu sounded so tired.

"The truth," Jeonghan nodded.

"I'm exhausted," Mingyu replied.

"Come on," Jeonghan nodded over to the table he used for the book signing.

Jeonghan pulled up an extra chair and gestured for Mingyu to sit down. They sat together in silence both not wanting to address any of the things they wanted to ask each other. It was difficult to have a conversation when the last time they spoke was well over half a decade ago.

"What happened to you after high school? I didn't expect you to settle down so fast let alone have a child," Jeonghan said as he watched Daehan pick out another book from the shelf.

"I was dating a girl in my first year of university, I guess we weren't being careful enough so she got pregnant. She didn't tell me until she was in her third trimester and during that time we'd broken up. I didn't want to leave her with the responsibility all on her own since it was also my fault. We got married and I put everything on hold," Mingyu spoke but there was no emotion. "No amount of studying can prepare you for parenthood."

"Daehan overheard your fight the night he ran away," Jeonghan said.

"Daehan told you about my wife's affair, didn't he?" Mingyu guessed.

"He said fair, not affair but yes, he told me," Jeonghan nodded.

"Children really are open books," Mingyu shook his head.

"Are you okay? What's going to happen now?"

"We're getting the divorce settlement papers ready. She wants the house and the car, nothing has been finalised yet but she's just making more unreasonable conditions as time goes on," Mingyu scoffed.

"What about custody? Is she being unreasonable about that as well?" Jeonghan turned to Mingyu.

"She doesn't want custody of Daehan," Mingyu frowned. "She wants everything but Daehan."

"Well shit," Jeonghan furrowed his brow, what a bitch.

"Never in a million years did I think these books where written by you," Mingyu said as he held up a copy of the book from the table in front of them.

"And never in a million years did I think I'd be signing that book for your son," Jeonghan retorted.

"When did you come back?"

"The day I found your son at my doorstep," Jeonghan answered.

"When will you leave?"

"I won't be," Jeonghan said, his mouth felt dry.

Mingyu turned to him, he looked like he wanted to say something but he couldn't find the words. Jeonghan pressed his fingers against the seam of Mingyu's lips and shook his head. Maybe it would have been better if Mingyu didn't say anything. Jeonghan pulled out a business card from his coat pocket and jotted down his personal phone number. He hesitated for a split second before also writing down his new address on the back and slipping it into Mingyu's larger hand.

"If you need someone to talk to or even a babysitter, give me a call," Jeonghan told the taller man, Mingyu was no longer a boy. "I work from home so my schedule is pretty empty. Let me do something for you, I know it probably doesn't mean anything to you but I'd like to make up for all the turmoil I put you through."

Mingyu immediately typed the number into his phone and pressed the call button. Jeonghan's phone immediately started ringing.

"Are you making sure I didn't give you a fake number?" Jeonghan mused, it was like the first time he'd given Mingyu his number in high school.

"Yes," Mingyu nodded, he wasn't smiling.

"I really would like to catch up with you properly," Jeonghan said.

"So do I," Mingyu nodded -- Jeonghan doubted Mingyu actually meant it but he gave his ex-lover a polite smile.

"I know you probably don't want anything to do with me," Jeonghan let out a heavy breath. "But...I don't think running into each other again was a coincidence. Maybe this is the universe's way of telling me I should make amends. I still regret my actions till this day, I was so horrible to you. I'm not expecting forgiveness if that's what you're wondering, I know what I did and I am willing to correct them in any way I can."

"I never thought I'd see the day where you would admit you were wrong," Mingyu said.

"I had a long time to reflect."

"I'll call if I need anything," Mingyu pocketed Jeonghan's business card before he called for Daehan. "Come on, we have to get home. You've got kindergarten in the morning."

"But I haven't finished reading yet!" Daehan pouted.

"Go on, I'll bring them to you next time we see each other," Jeonghan gave the young boy a nudge toward his father.

"Pinky promise or I won't believe you," Daehan held out his stubby little finger.

"Do I have to?" Jeonghan teased.

"Daddy says you can't break pinky promises," Daehan was precious.

Jeonghan looked over at Mingyu whose lips were pressed into a thin line. Jeonghan couldn't read his ex-lover's expression at all. That worried him more than he was willing to admit.

"Pinky promise it is," Jeonghan linked fingers with the five year old before the young boy grabbed his face and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips.

Jeonghan was too shocked to react.

"Sealed with a kiss, you can't go back on it," Daehan waved his pinky finger in Jeonghan's face before he ran over and took Mingyu's hand.

"I didn't teach him that," Mingyu said, he suddenly looked flustered.

"Get home safe," Jeonghan nodded. "Both of you."

"Bye, Jeonghan-hyung! Don't forget our promise! We kissed on it!" Daehan waved as Mingyu lead the way out.

"Bye," Jeonghan watched the father and son walk away.

He very much wanted to follow them but he had no place in their little family. He was just someone Mingyu used to know.

Wonwoo yawned as he got out of his car, he cursed when he hit his head against the top of it on his way out. Being tall had its perks and also its drawbacks. He rubbed his head as he walked into Mrs. Wen's old flower shop and smiled at the upgraded exterior. The manilla coloured two storey building had looked a little rundown when it still belonged to Junhui's mother but it had since gotten some much needed renovations and a fresh coat of paint. It was now a warm pastel yellow. The shop was still called 'Honeysuckle' but it now doubled as a small plant nursery in the back garden.

He'd thought Soonyoung was kidding when he'd announced that he was going to buy back Mrs. Wen's shop a year ago but his hamster-looking lover had jumped the gun and did just that. There was no prior discussion and sure they bickered because of the rushed decision but Wonwoo had quickly accepted it, Soonyoung already bought the place -- what else could he do? It had cost an arm and a leg for renovations but they were both extremely happy with the outcome. Though Wonwoo only moved down the street it felt like he'd finally become independent...except for when his old man came over unannounced to chat.
Just as he reached the entrance Wonwoo was greeted by Soonyoung who had a straw hat around his neck and his hands were clad in gardening gloves. The yellow apron Soonyoung wore was the same shade as the shop.

"Wonwoo come in, hurry up!" Soonyoung waved his dirt covered glove at his lover.

"Not even a hello first?" Wonwoo gave Soonyoung's temple a kiss before he was dragged through the shop and into the back garden.

"Do you see that?" Soonyoung pointed at a small patch of dirt in the garden.

"Soonyoung, I'm blind as fuck," Wonwoo squinted as he pulled out his glasses.

"Do you see them now?" Soonyoung asked as they squatted together side by side.

"The little green things?" Wonwoo cocked his head.

"Yeah, aren't they cute?" Soonyoung looked down at the little sprouts with pure adoration.

"What are they supposed to be and why don't you ever look at me like that?" Wonwoo knew he was jealous of a plant but he didn't care.

"They're sunflower sprouts," Soonyoung said.

"Sunflowers?" Wonwoo looked back down at the little green things poking out of the soil.

He searched his mind thinking for possible reasons as to why Soonyoung suddenly decided to grow sunflowers in their garden, then it hit him. Sunflowers were Soonyoung's favourite flower. The conversation he had with the shorter boy suddenly came back to him. Wonwoo hid his face in his hands, he could feel himself turning red.

"Sunflowers will always search for the sun," Wonwoo recited the words Soonyoung had said to him that cold day during winter.

"I'll always be looking only at you," Soonyoung finished the rest of the sentence.

"Let's make a baby," Wonwoo suddenly dragged Soonyoung inside the shop.

"Wonwoo, for the millionth time! I have a dick and no uterus!" Soonyoung shouted as Wonwoo threw him over his shoulder like sack of potatoes.

"We're not trying hard enough," Wonwoo replied as he went up the stairs with Soonyoung in tow.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Soonyoung chuckled as they reached the top step.

"I know it's impossible but let me dream," Wonwoo set Soonyoung down and pressed a kiss to his lover's forehead.

"If we really did have a child would he or she even be able to see anything? With my eye shape and your shitty vision our kid would be severely disadvantaged," Soonyoung wrapped his arms around Wonwoo's neck.

"You say such romantic things, Kwon Soonyoung," Wonwoo chuckled as they headed into the bedroom.

Unpacking was labour intensive, Jeonghan didn't remember owning so much crap. The majority of the stuff in his new apartment was very much brand new since it was unfurnished when he received the keys from the old tenant. He counted himself blessed that his home country had the luxury of IKEA. He'd bought relatively minimalist looking items for his apartment but the one thing he didn't scrimp on was his bed. Since it was where he spent most of his time, Jeonghan splurged on a good mattress and a sturdy bed frame. Sure he could've put the money toward something more practical but once he'd experience the wonderfulness that was memory foam he couldn't resist. He piled the flattened cardboard boxes against the wall just by the front door and sat down on the sofa -- he still couldn't believe he'd run into Mingyu.

Jeonghan sat and chewed on his bottom lip as the conversation he'd had with the taller man played over and over in his mind. He had so many things he wanted to ask Mingyu but he also needed to keep in mind that the man was allowed to have some privacy. Mingyu didn't own him anything. Though Mingyu had accepted his business card, Jeonghan didn't get his hopes up. He'd been a shitty lover and he was willing to admit it. There were nights where he'd sat alone going through the timeline of their turbulent relationship and wanted to slap himself for being so selfish and irrational. He'd only cared about protecting himself and no one else, instead of giving Mingyu a helping hand he'd given the poor boy an open mouth.

There were so many things he'd done in his teens that he wanted to slap himself for. Jeonghan mentally screamed everytime he thought about the night he'd torn into Mingyu. Not once did he try to sympathise with the swimmer, he didn't think about the fear of rejection or the crushing expectations Mingyu must've struggled to live up to in order to please his overbearing parents. Jeonghan sat and laughed at his bitter reality, he was probably going to die alone. Who in their right mind would want to love someone as selfish as him?

As he pulled himself off the sofa Jeonghan heard a noise come from his front door. Jeonghan looked up at the wall clock, it was midnight. Who the hell was visiting him at this time? He walked over cautiously to the door and pressed the button on the intercom, the small display showed a broad chest before the person on the other side bent down and showed his face. Mingyu looked into the camera, his face giving away nothing. Jeonghan hesitated clutching at the hem of his shirt but opened the door in the end. Mingyu's eyes met his, they stood frozen.

"Mingyu what are you-" Jeonghan never got to finish his sentence.

Mingyu pushed Jeonghan back and grabbed his face before sealing their lips in a searing kiss. Jeonghan broke contact to take a sharp breath before his lips were reclaimed by Mingyu's. Jeonghan moaned at the sensation of Mingyu's warm tongue tangling with his own. His hands clutched at the back of Mingyu's sweater as the former swimmer's tongue found its way to his ear and licked at the shell before biting on his earlobe. Jeonghan let out a yelp at the sharp sting but quickly shivered as Mingyu soothed the area with his tongue.

"Mingyu, stop," Jeonghan breathed. "Think about what you're doing."

"I know exactly what I'm doing," Mingyu whispered.

"I don't think you do, don't do this to yourself a second time. I don't want to hurt you anymore," Jeonghan held Mingyu's face in his hands.

"Let me make my own bad decisions," Mingyu covered Jeonghan's hands with his own.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan shook his head.

"I'm not some scared little boy living under his dad's thumb anymore," Mingyu moved in close until their noses were touching. "I know what I want."

Jeonghan's breath hitched as Mingyu's fingers slipped under the hem of his sweater and snaked their way up his spine. Mingyu's fingers touched all the sensitive areas of his back as he backed them over to the bedroom. The touches were hot as if Mingyu was branding him with every little lick and nibble, Jeonghan had to continually remind himself to breathe. Mingyu pushed him back on the mattress where he was immediately straddled by the taller man's strong thighs. The former swimmer pulled Jeonghan's sweater over his head before discarding his own. Mingyu's eyes were half-closed in arousal as he took in the sight of Jeonghan's porcelain chest. Mingyu's curious hands stroked every inch of his body before they moved and pulled away at his sweatpants leaving him vulnerable and completely bare.

"You have no idea how many times I've dreamt of this body," Mingyu whispered in his ear.

"You can still walk away Mingyu, forget this, forget me," Jeonghan touched Mingyu's lip with his thumb.

"Over my dead body," Mingyu said before reclaiming Jeonghan's lips.

Jeonghan squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the sensation of Mingyu's finger begin to stretch his him out. He let out a moan ahen Mingyu's fingers grazed the spot inside of him that caused him to see stars. His ex-lover's breathing became laboured as he listened to the sounds that escaped Jeonghan's lips, his dazed expression could only be described as one of pure lust. Mingyu licked his lips and positioned himself against Jeonghan's opening.

"Scream for me," Mingyu said as he slipped into Jeonghan with one long thrust.

Jeonghan did just that. His nails dug into Mingyu's back before he sunk his teeth into the taller man's shoulder. Mingyu hissed but that only made him harder. Nothing about their lovemaking was sweet or slow, it was urgent, rough and borderline animalistic. Jeonghan couldn't get enough and neither did Mingyu. Mingyu made his final thrusts hitting that same spot over and over before Jeonghan collapsed limp into the mattress. Mingyu followed right after with a climax if his own and curled over to rest on Jeonghan's sweat slicked chest.

"The things you do to me," Mingyu mumbled as one of his hands reached out to intertwine with Jeonghan's.

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan said as he felt Mingyu slowly pull out of him.

"Am I allowed to stay tonight or is that too much?"

"You can stay," Jeonghan said despite his better judgment.

"Would you believe me if I said this is the happiest I've been since Daehan was born?" Mingyu asked.

Jeonghan didn't say anything in return, he simply covered his face with his hand before openly sobbing. The hot tears that ran down his face didn't stop, no matter how many times he swiped at them they continued to fall in droves. He actually felt lightheaded, so much that he felt his breathing falter. Mingyu immediately moved to cup Jeonghan's face in his hands, his eyes filled with concern.

"What's wrong?" Mingyu's thumbs wiped away at Jeonghan's tear streaked face.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for leaving you. Saying that this is the happiest you've been just makes this all the more painful for me. You've gone through so much on your own. To think you're still willing to look in my direction is genuinely baffling, Mingyu. I can't even forgive myself, how are you able to?"

"We broke up with each other remember? We made that decision together, I was a coward who didn't want to give up his comfortable lifestyle and you didn't want to settle for anything less than what you wanted and there was nothing wrong with that. You can't blame yourself for some stupid choices we made as teenagers."

"But that event planted a seed that eventually lead to you being unhappy," Jeonghan argued. "I sowed it. I sowed that seed."

"No, you didn't. Don't you dare throw yourself under the bus," Mingyu shook him by the shoulders.

"We're both going to continue arguing back and forth like this until one of us gives up, aren't we?" Jeonghan managed to smile through his tears.

"I'm just as stubborn as the day we parted," Mingyu pulled Jeonghan to him by the waist.

"We haven't changed at all," Jeonghan tangled his hands into Mingyu's hair.

"We won't change, because we're engraved in each other's hearts," Mingyu pressed a sweet kiss onto Jeonghan's lips.

"Thank you," Jeonghan whispered against Mingyu's lips.

They were two very simple words but they were enough to convey the emotions he wanted to say to Mingyu. He wanted to thank Mingyu for never blaming him for how their relationship ended, thank you for persevering so they could meet each other again and thank you for choosing to finally pursue his own happiness.

"Let me fix this, I'll fix everything for you," Jeonghan pushed Mingyu down on the mattress and ran his hand up Mingyu's toned chest. "It's my turn to help you heal."

"Jeonghan," Mingyu whispered.

"It's a promise," Jeonghan held out his pinky finger.

Mingyu swallowed. He linked his own pinky with Jeonghan's. Mingyu's mind flashed back to the promise he'd once made with Jeonghan at the pool all those years ago. This was their second pinky promise only this time Jeonghan was doing the protecting.

"You have to seal it with a kiss," Mingyu said.

"What?" Jeonghan chuckled. "I thought you said you weren't the one who taught that to Daehan."

"I lied," Mingyu smiled for the first time since they saw each other again.

"You're so incredibly handsome when you smile," Jeonghan said before he gave Mingyu a peck.

"So do you," Mingyu returned.

"I have a question," Jeonghan said as he looked over at Mingyu.

"What is it?"

"Whose going to take Daehan to kindergarten tomorrow if you're here," Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"Oh fuck," Mingyu didn't think about that.

Jeonghan chuckled as he buried his face into Mingyu's shoulder.

Chapter Text

Jeonghan liked his new apartment, he liked it a lot but he much preferred spending the majority of his day at Cafe Serenity. The apartment was just too quiet and the constant background noise from his television just couldn't compare to real human interaction. With his recent release and book signing out of the way he had all the time in the world to just relax. He'd arrived at the cafe around dawn to help his dad make croissants and sourdough bread for their daily sandwich specials and lugged in the coffee bean delivery from the front porch. He'd forgotten how physically draining the cafe life was.

"You really don't have to come and help us every day, sweetheart," his mother handed him a mug of hot chocolate while he put the croissants on display.

"I want to do it," Jeonghan insisted. "I might've complained back then but I really do miss being back in the kitchen."

"You're really staying?" his mother touched the back of his hand.

"Yeah," Jeonghan nodded and covered his mother's hands with his own.

"I never got to ask you this properly but...why did you suddenly want to finish your senior year in China? We've never had the chance to go into detail."

"Hm," Jeonghan set down his mug, there were a number of reasons. "I just wanted to get away from here, there was so much negative energy, it was just suffocating. Part of it was also because I wanted to fulfil Jun's bucket list, he wanted to do so many things, mom. There were places he wanted to go, things he wanted to do and he wanted to share those moments with me. I felt like fulfilling his wishes was my way of getting closure."

"Did you get the closure you were seeking, sweetheart?" His mother touched his cheek.

"Partially, I still feel like I haven't completely gotten full closure but I'm so close," Jeonghan admitted.

"Don't rush it, it will come in due time," his mother gave him a reassuring look as she went to serve customers.

Removing his apron, Jeonghan took one of the strawberry shortcakes from the kitchen and set it inside a cake box. He walked down the street over to 'Honeysuckle' and opened the front door before he greeted Soonyoung who was spraying one of the small plants by the register. The hamster-looking florist smiled at him and waved him over to the stool opposite the counter.

"Strawberry shortcake?" Soonyoung guessed as he took the cake box from Jeonghan's hands.

Jeonghan nodded as he sat down.

He looked around at the interior of the shop and immediately felt a small lump form in the back of his throat. Soonyoung and Wonwoo had restored the shop back to what it was when Mrs. Wen still owned it. The antique farmhouse theme of the walls and the quirky little sunflower shaped frames that lined the back wall made him feel just as warm and safe as Cafe Serenity did. He suddenly missed Mrs. Wen, he hadn't called her in over a week.

"I really love what you and Wonwoo did for this place," Jeonghan said while watching Soonyoung handle a bunch of peonies.

"This little shop held so many great memories for me," Soonyoung touched the newly lacquered wood of the counter. "Jun and Mrs. Wen, Wonwoo, you -- all the people who've impacted my life have all been connected through this little flower shop. Buying it back was the dumbest yet best decision of my entire life."

"I thought that was Wonwoo," Jeonghan teased.

"Oh no, I never had any doubt about Wonwoo," Soonyoung shook his head. "He's my sunflower."

"You two are so sickeningly sweet, I'm surprised neither of you have diabetes," Jeonghan let out a lighthearted chuckle.

"How'd your abrupt meeting with Mingyu go?" Soonyoung suddenly asked.

"How'd you know about that?" Jeonghan looked over at the florist.

"Wonwoo saw Mingyu leaving the bookstore at your book signing," Soonyoung answered.

"We had a little catch up session," Jeonghan said.

"What else?" Soonyoung pushed.

"What makes you think anything else happened?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"Did anything happen or not?" Soonyoung didn't let it go.

"We...kind of...slept together," Jeonghan dragged the sentence.

"Oh," Soonyoung's hands froze -- he no longer gave a shit about the flowers. "Isn't Mingyu, you know, married?"

"He's in the middle of a divorce," Jeonghan pointed out.

"Who told you that?"

"His son," Jeonghan nodded.

"He has a kid?" Soonyoung snipped off three peony heads with his scissors, he was shocked.

"Yeah, a five year old, he's really cute," Jeonghan said.

"This is just messy," Soonyoung shook his head.

"My situation or your bouquet?" Jeonghan pointed at the two remaining peony heads in Soonyoung's hands.

"Both," Soonyoung replied.

"I know it's crazy but I think I'm willing to give Mingyu and I another shot. I haven't been this happy in a long time."

"So what are you going to do now?" Soonyoung went to grab more peonies.

"I promised I'd treat him right this time round," Jeonghan bit his lower lip. "These past six years have been hard on him."

"Invite him out for a swim," Soonyoung snapped his fingers.

"A swim?"

"Yeah, me and Wonwoo are going to the aquatic centre tonight. Invite him along, he probably hasn't been in the water in ages. It'll be like a little mini high school reunion, maybe you two can have a little private session in the shower stalls. It'll be like we're back in high school," Soonyoung shrugged.

"Wonwoo really isn't good at keeping secrets," Jeonghan pursed his lips.

"No, he is not," Soonyoung agreed.

"You know, that's not a bad idea," Jeonghan thought. "It's a Friday so Mingyu won't be working tomorrow. Plus Daehan won't have to attend kindergarten on a Saturday either. We definitely won't be having any explicit shower activities but I think swimming might be a good stress reliever. I know for a sure fact that Mingyu definitely needs it."

"Just call him! Just do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!" Soonyoung pounded his fist against the counter top. "Stop pondering and grab your man by the balls! Well, not literally unless he's into that sort of thing but just stop hesitating. You're never going to be happy if you keep letting these opportunities slip by. Just do it!"

"Thank you, oh wise one," Jeonghan laughed as he called Mingyu's contact.

"Hello? Kim Mingyu speaking."

"Hey," Jeonghan smiled hearing Mingyu's professional tone.

"Jeonghan?" Mingyu's tone softened.

"Are you free tonight? You don't have to work overtime today right?"

"No, I don't. Work ends at five," Mingyu replied.

"Soonyoung and Wonwoo are heading to the aquatic centre in the evening. You want to join us?" Jeonghan bit his lip as he waited for an answer.

"Soonyoung? Soonyoung from my high school swim team? That Soonyoung?"

"Yeah."

"I can't even remember the last time I went swimming," Mingyu sounded a little disheartened.

"Then it makes all the more sense to go," Jeonghan insisted. "Daehan doesn't know how to swim right? You can teach him how to. It'll be great."

There was a brief moment of silence.

"I'll meet you at the aquatic centre," Mingyu finally said.

"Great, see you there," Jeonghan smiled.

"See you."

"I miss seeing you in skintight lycra," Jeonghan added just in time to hear Mingyu choke on his own saliva -- teasing Mingyu was still his favourite pastime.

Jeonghan slipped his phone back in his pocket before looking over at Soonyoung. The florist gave him a very unimpressed look.

"What?" Jeonghan asked.

"You say me and Wonwoo are sickeningly sweet? You and Mingyu are a whole walking mess of raw sugar," Soonyoung lobbed a peony at Jeonghan's head. "I think I have cavities after hearing that conversation."

"I know," Jeonghan couldn't stop smiling.

"Daehan, stay still for one second," Mingyu let out a tired breath as he slipped on a pair of swimming trunks for his five year old.

"Where are we going?" Daehan asked as he pulled at the stretchy fabric of his swimming attire -- he was intrigued.

"Swimming, Jeonghan invited us," Mingyu answered before swinging his packed gym bag over one shoulder.

"I can't swim," Daehan said as they headed for the car.

"I'll teach you," Mingyu simply said as he buckled Daehan into the backseat.

As they drove Mingyu became painfully aware of how very little he and Daehan spoke. Being a young dad hadn't been easy. He'd left his wife, Hyoyoung, alone with Daehan for majority of the kid's infancy since he was the one bringing home the bacon -- the breadwinner. Did he love his son? Of course he did but he also needed to make money to support his son. Long work hours in a corporate job obtained through his father's connections paired with a shotgun wedding wasn't exactly the recipe for a happy marriage. Mingyu knew it was a shitty move but he'd purposely stayed back at work just so he didn't have to see Hyoyoung more than he needed to -- he was that unhappy. He never really thought about how it would affect his relationship with Daehan until they were left alone together. He suddenly had another regret to add to the ever growing list.

"Daddy?" Daehan's voice brought Mingyu out of his deep line of thought.

"Yes?" Mingyu looked at the five year old through the rear view mirror.

"Mommy's not coming back, is she?" Daehan played with the hem of his shirt.

"She's..." Mingyu didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"How come she doesn't pick me up from school anymore? Did I do something wrong?" Mingyu's grip tightened on the steering wheel, his son was on the verge of tears.

"It's not because of you," Mingyu said.

"Why isn't she home?" Daehan pouted.

"Daehan," Mingyu's brow furrowed.

"Do you hate me?" Daehan's voice was just above a whisper.

"Why would you ever think that?" Mingyu stopped the car.

"You're never home too," Daehan answered. "I know you and mommy don't like each other. You keep telling me you love me but you're never there."

"Let's talk about this when we get home, okay?" Mingyu looked over at Daehan before he pulled into the aquatic centre's parking lot.

Daehan held onto Mingyu's pinky finger as he paid for admission before they walked over to the pool area. The smell of chlorine and the warm heated interior brought back memories he'd long forgotten. Daehan sniffed curiously at the air before scanning the space. His son immediately let go of his finger and made a mad dash the minute he spotted who he was looking for.

"Daehan! Don't run!" Mingyu called after the boy but it fell on deaf ears.

Mingyu stood by the entrance while his eyes trailed after his son. He watched Daehan squeal as he was scooped up by a wet Jeonghan wearing long skintight swimming leggings that were cut low enough to showcase the brunette's abdominal 'v.' He watched the brunette pepper his son's face with kisses as the five year old continued to squeal with delight. Jeonghan must've noticed him staring as he winked at him before turning his attention back to Daehan.

"Are you going to join them or are you just going to stand there?" A low voice made Mingyu flinch.

"Wonwoo?" Mingyu admonished looking at an unamused Wonwoo holding a floatie in one hand while a pair of goggles rested on his forehead.

"Yeah, no shit," Wonwoo replied.

"Haven't seen you in years yet you're still an ass, no character development whatsoever," Mingyu scoffed as they walked together over to Jeonghan.

"Why improve on something that isn't broken?" Wonwoo challenged. "You finally decided to get your head out of your ass, about time."

"You know nothing about my situation," Mingyu sneered.

"I know enough," Wonwoo retorted. "You got Jeonghan's hopes up and then you disappointed him. Sure, you might not have had it easy either but you decided to live out a lie. Look how unhappy you are now, all of this happened because you didn't cease any opportunities."

"Why are you telling me this?" Mingyu's jaw was pulled tight.

"I'm telling you this once and only once," Wonwoo stopped in his tracks. "This is your one and only opportunity to get Jeonghan back, if you miss this opportunity you're never going to have another. You might meet other Jeonghans in your life but you will never run into another Yoon Jeonghan. Don't mess this up or you're going to continue being miserable."

"Why do I have to listen to what you have to say?" Mingyu frowned.

"I was there when he lost Jun and I was there when he lost you, don't be fucking cocky with me. He might've forgiven you but I haven't completely gotten over that hill yet," Wonwoo said as he threw his floatie into the pool.

"That would've sounded a lot more threatening without the floatie," Mingyu mumbled as Wonwoo doggie paddled over to Soonyoung on the other side of the pool.

"Hey, you okay?" Jeonghan's hand touched his.

"I'm fine," Mingyu turned to face the brunette.

Jeonghan still had droplets of water dripping off his body and his unblemished torso was very distracting. Mingyu had to clear his throat a few times to compose himself.

"Daehan's a little down today, did something happen?" Jeonghan whispered in Mingyu's ear before nodding over at the young boy who had wandered over to Soonyoung.

"Let's just say we both came to the realization that we aren't very close," Mingyu ran a hand through his hair. "He's noticed his mom's gone and now he's questioning whether I even care about him."

"You told him you love him, right?" Jeonghan folded his arms over his chest. "Right?"

"I told him we'd talk about it later," Mingyu admitted with an embarrassed scratch of his head.

"Mingyu, your son is asking for a confirmation of love, that's all he wants," Jeonghan held Mingyu's face in his hands and gave the taller man's head a shake. "He wants his dad to tell him everything is going to be okay and that he's important. Kids are very straightforward, they tell you exactly what they need."

"I'm a terrible father, aren't I?" Mingyu sighed.

"No, you're not. You're just an inexperienced one," Jeonghan assured. "I can see it but you probably don't, you're treating Daehan the same way your own father treated you. I didn't want to say anything since it wasn't my place to but I really think you need to hear it. Break the cycle, you don't want Daehan to go through what you did, right?"

"Oh fuck," Mingyu's pupils shook, he'd never even thought of that -- he was acting like his own father.

"Don't stress about this too much, you have plenty of time to rectify this," Jeonghan assured the former swimmer.

"I don't know how to be a good dad, Jeonghan. I've been bullshitting my way through all of this, I don't know what to do. My main job up until now has been to provide a roof over his head and put food in his stomach."

"Baby steps, that's what you told me, remember?" Jeonghan smiled as he held Mingyu's hands. "You just need a starting point. Plus, you have me here. I'm not that great at parenting either but I'm willing to give a helping hand or a nudge here and there. I promised I'd be there for you. I'm not taking any of it back."

"Where do I start?" Mingyu looked into Jeonghan's eyes for answers -- baby steps sounded great.

"First, you need to get your clothes off and teach your son to doggy paddle. Chances are he'll learn it faster than Wonwoo will," Jeonghan pointed over at Wonwoo and Soonyoung who were bickering in the shallow end while Daehan sat on the edge with his little feet splashing in the water.

"How long have they been here?" Mingyu was curious.

"A while, Wonwoo can't float. He keeps sinking so Soonyoung bought him a floatie," Jeonghan answered.

"I don't know if Daehan even wants to talk to me right now," Mingyu sighed.

"You're still his dad, he'll always see you as his protector. I'm no expert but from what I've learnt, children love receiving praise and affection from their parents. Hug him more often, ruffle his hair and give him more kisses. You don't need words, show him through your actions."

"He has so many questions, Jeonghan. Questions that I'm not prepared to answer without hurting him," Mingyu began stripping down into his swimming jammers.

"Children are more resilient than you think, you just have to hold their hand through it," Jeonghan nodded.

"How do you know all this?" Mingyu cocked his head.

"I'm a children's writer," Jeonghan reminded the taller man.

"Ah," Mingyu had forgotten that little titbit.

Jeonghan walked over to join Daehan at the pool's edge and touched the boy's soft jet black locks to get his attention. Daehan looked up at him with a smile but it quickly faltered when he spotted Mingyu a few metres away.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Jeonghan asked as he too began splashing his feet in the water.

"I think I made daddy angry," Daehan whispered.

"He's not angry," Jeonghan assured.

"He isn't?" Daehan looked hopeful.

"Let me tell you a little secret," Jeonghan slipped into the water and faced Daehan. "Your daddy's not very good at showcasing his emotions. His communication skills aren't that great either, when he doesn't know how to react he either doesn't say anything or he runs away. Sound familiar?"

"He's like me," Daehan nodded.

"He is," Jeonghan agreed.

Jeonghan looked over at an awkward Mingyu who stood hesitant as he stared at the rippling water of the pool. He waved his hand and gestured for the former swimmer to join him and Mingyu obliged. The brunette watched Mingyu slip into the water in one swift movement and submerge himself before resurfacing and slicking back his hair. Jeonghan licked his lips but quickly reminded himself that it wasn't the time to be lusting after the man.

"Should we start teaching him the basics?" Jeonghan asked, he grabbed for Mingyu's hand under the water and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah, sure," Mingyu sounded slightly monotone but Jeonghan could tell it was just nerves.

He pushed himself a few metres away as he watched Mingyu hoist Daehan off the edge and balanced the five year old on his hip to familiarise the boy with the water. Daehan's arms instinctively wrapped around his father's neck as his little eyes darted around nervously at the depth of the water. Jeonghan thought it was extremely endearing how Mingyu rubbed his son's back as he paced back and forth in the water -- he was patient, he was gentle and he didn't push.

"The kid's already made more progress than Wonwoo," Soonyoung appeared beside Jeonghan, the florist looked absolutely exhausted.

"How's the love of your life doing?" Jeonghan asked.

"See for yourself," Soonyoung nodded over at Wonwoo who smacked himself in the eye trying to put on his goggles.

"What is he doing?" Jeonghan's lip curled over his teeth as he watched Wonwoo continue to retrieve his floatie as it floated away.

"His best," Soonyoung answered.

"He isn't the most graceful creature in the water, is he?" Jeonghan chuckled.

"Nope, he's definitely a land animal," Soonyoung had to agree.

"You already know he's a lost cause so why'd you even try to teach him to swim?" Jeonghan was very curious.

"I wanted to see him half-naked and dripping with water," Soonyoung answered, his cheeks flushing a bright shade of red.

"Ah, for perverted reasons," Jeonghan wasn't judging, he was in the same boat.

"Daehan's cute, the kid's like a miniature Mingyu but without the attitude," Soonyoung directed his attention back to the father and son.

"He hasn't experienced the cruelty of the world yet," Jeonghan folded his arms over his chest. "I really don't want him to, the kid's got enough things to worry about right now."

"You sound like an overbearing mother," Soonyoung accused.

"What can I say? The kid's easy to love, just like his dad," Jeonghan smiled secretly to himself as he watched Daehan hold onto Mingyu's hands as he kicked in the water.

"Yep, definitely more progress than Wonwoo," Soonyoung sighed as he looked at his lover who had given up and was lying down the the pool's edge while his floatie continued on its path to escape several metres away on the other end of the pool.

"He's shit but at least he tried," Soonyoung concluded before he went over to fetch his lover.

Jeonghan shook his head in amusement at the lovebirds. He turned his head to look back over at Mingyu and Daehan only to catch sight of flash of black power into his direction before a pair of small arms wrapped around his neck. Daehan's hysterical laughter penetrated his ear as the five year old looked up at him, his long eyelashes were matted from the water and his little round cheeks had turned pink from excitement. The boy looked so happy.

"Got you!" Daehan cupped Jeonghan's face with his chubby hands before purposely bending in for a kiss.

Jeonghan quickly dodged it but Daehan didn't give up, the little boy refused to let go of Jeonghan's face until he was finally able to plant a kiss on the brunette's lips. Jeonghan admitted defeat, the kid was persistent. From the corner of his eye he managed to catch Mingyu's unimpressed look before the swimmer shook it off.

"You jealous?" Jeonghan teased the taller man.

"Daehan, what did I tell you about the kissing?" Mingyu's authoritative tone surfaced as he approached.

"You said I can only kiss people I like," Daehan immediately pointed at Jeonghan. "I like Jeonghan."

"I don't think I explained it to him right," Mingyu rubbed a hand over his face.

"I don't think he cares," Jeonghan pointed out as Daehan went in for another round -- Jeonghan gave the boy extra points for his confidence.

"Do I get one as well?" Mingyu looked at Jeonghan.

"I don't know," Jeonghan met Daehan's gaze. "Am I allowed to kiss your dad?"

"Just one," Daehan held up one finger.

"You heard the boss," Jeonghan smiled as he puckered his lips.

"The boss is stingy," Mingyu mused but he went with it.

For the first time in a while Jeonghan felt like there were butterflies in his stomach. The passionate kisses were great and all but it was the sweet little pecks that he absolutely adored. There was something so sweet and pure about them that just took his breath away. He opened his eyes quick enough to see Mingyu's defiant look as the former swimmer bent in for second kiss before a chubby palm smacked him square in the face.

"I said only one!" Daehan complained.

"Ah fuck!" Mingyu clutched at his face.

"Daddy, that's a bad word," Daehan said, his voice held not regret.

Jeonghan laughed so hard he snorted.

"Let's never do this ever again," Wonwoo's breathing was ragged as he walked into the locker room with Soonyoung.

"You did good, you actually didn't drown this time," Soonyoung gave Wonwoo's back a light pat as they headed into the showers.

"I didn't almost die, that hardly counts as improvement," Wonwoo argued as he watched Soonyoung rinse off under one of the shower heads.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm not asking you to become a pro overnight," Soonyoung walked over and brushed his hand through Wonwoo's wet brown locks.

"Daehan can do the breaststroke, I doggy paddled," Wonwoo was not happy.

"You're good at other things," Soonyoung reasoned. "Swimming's not your forte."

"What am I good at?" Wonwoo cocked a brow.

"You're a force to be reckoned with in the bedroom, that's for sure," Soonyoung answered as he went back into the shower stall and turned on the hot water.

Wonwoo sat with his head hung low as he processed what Soonyoung just said. He could feel his internal temperature rising and the sight of Soonyoung under the steaming hot water was giving nothing to the imagination. Wonwoo licked his lips as the streams of water snaked their way down Soonyoung's back and follow the lines of his Venus dimples, he suddenly didn't feel tired anymore. He pushed himself off the bench and stepped into Soonyoung's stall before locking the door behind him. Soonyoung turned around with lips pouted in confusion.

"You better not be planning on doing what I think you're doing," Soonyoung put up a hand in warning.

"Don't I get anything for being such a good sport just now?" Wonwoo whispered into Soonyoung's ear.

"We're not doing it here," Soonyoung's objection was weak but it was still an objection.

"Please?" Wonwoo grinded himself against Sonyoung's front.

"Oh no," Soonyoung felt his own body responding -- that wasn't fair at all.

"Your lower half is a lot more honest than your top half," Wonwoo teased as he kissed the tip of Soonyoung's nose.

"Make it quick," Soonyoung said as Wonwoo pulled at his swim jammers.

"I'll try but I'm not making any promises," the mischievous look in Wonwoo's eyes only further turned Soonyoung on.

"You better not drop me," Soonyoung warned as Wonwoo hoisted him up by the waist.

"Never," Wonwoo replied.

Soonyoung clutched at Wonwoo's neck as his lover's experienced fingers found his opening and started preparing him for what was to come. Wonwoo lathered his fingers with soap as a makeshift lubricant while his tongue licked at Soonyoung's neck as a distraction. It seemed to be working as Soonyoung let out a satisfied noise before digging his blunt nails into Wonwoo's back. Wonwoo hissed at the sensation but that only aroused him further. He pressed his forehead against Soonyoung's until only a hair's breadth of space was left between their lips. Soonyoung swallowed as Wonwoo's sharp eyes bore into his, the intensity of his lover's gaze was one of the many things that had him forever begging for more. Soonyoung closed the remaining distance and moaned as Wonwoo pushed into him.

"Sorry," Wonwoo mumbled as he pushed his mess of wet hair out of his eyes. "I'm not being very gentle."

"That's completely fine by me," Soonyoung assured as he licked at Wonwoo's parted lips. "I know your actions hold no malice."

"Why is it that when you say such simple words they somehow manage to always sound so beautiful?" Wonwoo began thrusting into his lover.

"You really do get turned on by the strangest things, Jeon Wonwoo," Soonyoung's breaths became uneven.

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for your words," Wonwoo's pace quickened.

"Then I'll make it my life goal to continue giving you as many beautiful words as I can," Soonyoung smiled tenderly at his lover.

"Soonyoung," Wonwoo bit his lower lip as he felt his climax rear its head.

"Wonwoo," Soonyoung nibbled at Wonwoo's earlobe as his lover hit at his sweet spot over and over.

They clung onto each other for dear life as they followed one another into ecstacy. Soonyoung muffled his own erotic screams by biting into his forearm while Wonwoo gritted his teeth. Wonwoo released his hold on his shorter lover allowing Soonyoung's feet to finally touch the ground. He kept a possessive hand on the small of Soonyoung's back while they allowed the hot water to wash off the smell of sex that clung to them along with the chlorine.

"Jeonghan's never going to let me live this down if he finds out we did it in the locker room," Soonyoung shook his head.

"What makes you think he'll find out?" Wonwoo asked.

"Because you can't keep secrets," Soonyoung accused.

"I'd argue but I'd be lying," Wonwoo simply replied.

The two quickly finished showering and got dressed. They exited the locker room and gave a wave over at Jeonghan and Mingyu who were still busy swimming with Daehan. Soonyoung felt a small pang in his heart as he watched the happy five year old splash in the water.

"Daehan's cute," Soonyoung said as they exited the pool.

"You're finally on board with making a baby?" Wonwoo asked.

"Wonwoo, let it go," Soonyoung rolled his eyes.

"How about Daehan? I'll go distract Jeonghan and Mingyu, you can go grab the kid," Wonwoo suggested.

"We're not stealing Mingyu's baby!" Soonyoung slapped Wonwoo's shoulder.

Jeonghan had no regrets about going swimming, absolutely none. He liked seeing Mingyu back in his element and the pure look of joy that was in the former swimmer's eyes when he was swimming with his son was indescribable. It was only a brief moment of happiness but it made Jeonghan feel like he'd accomplished something -- he'd played a part in bringing Mingyu that joy. He wanted to do more.

Jeonghan took a final sip of his green tea and set his mug into the sink. He'd wanted to ask if Mingyu wanted to spend the night at his apartment but decided against it in the end -- that was a very selfish request and Mingyu had Daehan to take care of. He'd left the father and son with a simple goodbye before returning to his apartment. Being alone in the space suddenly reminded him of how very lonely it was. With nothing to do Jeonghan brushed his teeth and prepared to go to bed but just as he went to turn off the lights a knock came from the front door. He rushed right over and pressed the button for the intercom. He smiled at the sight of Mingyu holding Daehan on his arm and an overnight bag in the other. Jeonghan flung the door open -- there was absolutely no subtlety to his movement.

"Got enough room for two more people?" Mingyu asked with a sheepish look.

"More than enough," Jeonghan answered as he stepped aside to let them in.

Chapter Text

Waking up in the morning with an extra body in the bed was an odd experience, let alone two. Jeonghan found himself being sandwiched between two equally possessive pairs of arms while long legs curled over his own -- he wanted to move but he'd given up after both Daehan and Mingyu grunted in disapproval. Jeonghan had woken up well over half an hour ago but because of the sleeping father and son he'd been forced to stay in bed. He really didn't mind it all too much since he got to see Daehan mirror his dad's sleeping face, the little boy's mouth was wide open and his long eyelashes brushed over his chubby cheeks like a dark curtain. The boy must've noticed Jeonghan's gaze as his eyes immediately fluttered open before giving the brunette a sleepy smile.

"Morning," Jeonghan brushed his hand through Daehan's messy mop of hair.

"Hi," Daehan yawned.

"Did you sleep well?" Jeonghan asked as he gently pried Mingyu's arms and legs off his torso.

"Yes," Daehan nodded as he got up on his knees to stretch.

"You hungry at all?" Jeonghan slipped off the edge of the bed.

"Yes," Daehan repeated.

"Come with me, little man," Jeonghan held out his arms.

He carried the five year old out into the kitchen where he set the boy down on top of the counter before grabbing a small strawberry yogurt drink from the fridge. Daehan stared curiously at the light pink liquid for a moment until he finally decided to take a sip. The boy's eyes lit up as he took another sip.

"You've never had this before?" Jeonghan asked as he drank his own yogurt drink.

"Nope," Daehan licked his lips.

"So what did you want for breakfast, little man?" Jeonghan wiped at Daehan's mouth with a tissue.

"I can pick?" Daehan's eyes widened.

Jeonghan nodded.

"Pancakes," Daehan said.

"Pancakes it is," Jeonghan began rummaging through his cabinets.

"Really?"

"Yes, why so surprised, little man?" Jeonghan questioned as he poured flour into a metal bowl.

"Mommy says I have to eat what's given to me," Daehan answered.

"She has a point but you should be allowed to ask for what you want once in a while," Jeonghan touched Daehan's cheek before whisking in eggs, milk and vanilla extract into the flour.

"Jeonghan-hyung," Daehan tugged at his sleeve.

"Yes?"

"Are you my mom now?" Daehan was dead serious.

"No, I'm not," Jeonghan was so taken aback by Daehan's words he dropped his whisk.

"Then what are you?"

"That's a good question," Jeonghan chewed on the inside of his cheek, these were the hard-to-answer type of questions Mingyu was talking about.

"Think of me as an uncle," Jeonghan finally answered.

"But other uncles don't kiss me or daddy," Daehan pointed out.

The kid was smart.

"Should I stop?" Jeonghan asked.

"No," Daehan pouted, he almost looked offended.

"So I'm allowed to kiss you and your daddy?"

"Only once a day for daddy," Daehan nodded. "For me, there's no limit."

"That's a little unfair for your daddy, isn't it?" Jeonghan laughed.

"He's a big boy," Daehan was sassy.

"Did you want your pancakes with maple syrup or strawberries and cream?" Jeonghan was so smitten with the five year old he'd almost forgot about Mingyu.

"Both!"

Jeonghan made the boy a stack of pancakes and sat by the kitchen counter while he dug into his breakfast. He only turned his attention away when Mingyu sauntered into the kitchen wearing nothing but his pyjama bottoms. Jeonghan walked over to the taller man and tiptoed to give him a peck on the cheek. Mingyu's warm hands found their way around Jeonghan's waist before pulling the brunette close. Mingyu buried his face into the crook of Jeonghan's neck and let out a contented sigh -- the brunette still smelt like vanilla and caramel. It was a scent that both gave him comfort as well as make his mouth water.

"Go and sit next to Daehan, I'll fix you up a plate," Jeonghan gave Mingyu's lower back a nudge.

"Pancakes?" Mingyu asked.

"You don't like pancakes?" Jeonghan asked.

"No, I do. It has been a long time since I've had a proper breakfast," Mingyu admitted as he watched the brunette set a plate of perfectly round pancakes in front of him.

"Let me guess," Jeonghan said as he handed the taller man a knife and fork. "Coffee was your breakfast?"

"Yeah, working a corporate job means substituting meals with coffee a lot of the time," Mingyu nodded.

"No wonder everyone is always so miserable, abstaining from food in exchange for a beverage is borderline torture."

"You're not wrong," Mingyu cut into his pancakes.

"I never got to ask, what is it that you do as a job? I don't think you ever spoke about it," Jeonghan noted.

"I work in public relations, it's a bland job but it pays the bills," Mingyu answered as he shoveled a mouthful of food.

"You did what you had to, you have a wife and son to take care of," Jeonghan touched Mingyu's cheek.

"Had, had a wife," Mingyu brought Jeonghan's fingers to his lips.

"Where do we go from here?" Jeonghan looked at Mingyu with mixed emotions of both hopefulness and anxiety.

"I don't know but I like the idea of waking up with the bedsheets smelling like you," Mingyu smiled flashing his canines.

"No flirting in front of Daehan," Jeonghan warned before he went to clear away the dishes.

"Daddy," Daehan whispered pulling at his father's sleeve.

"Yes?"

"Can we stay here?" Daehan asked.

"Only if Jeonghan wants to keep us," Mingyu answered, he really wanted Jeonghan to keep them.

Mingyu chased down his last bit of pancake with a cold glass of milk. He helped Daehan brush his teeth before cleaning his own and got changed. He went to check his phone. Mingyu felt his mood turn sour seeing his wife's name on the screen. The woman had messaged him at ungodly hours of the morning and there were a number of missed calls from her as well. As much as he didn't want to deal with Hyoyoung, she was still legally his wife and the mother of his child -- she wasn't a very good one but a mother no less.

"What do you want?" Mingyu asked of his wife after finally deciding to call her back.

"Mingyu, we need to talk," Hyoyoung's voice was softer than her usual hysterical self -- Mingyu was suspicious.

"About what?"

"Us," Hyoyoung replied.

"We've already been through this, Hyoyoung," Mingyu gritted his teeth.

"Mingyu, I know you're angry but I think we should give the marriage another try," Hyoyoung's voice sounded like she was holding back her anger.

"We've submitted the divorce papers, you can't pull the victim card over and over!" Mingyu was getting more and more irritated.

"I'm not playing the victim!" Hyoyoung finally snapped.

"You've realised that having everything provided for you is too good to throw away, right? You don't want to lose your cash cow, do you?" Mingyu taunted.

"Mingyu! You're being a fucking asshole! All I want is work things out, why can't you be a good husband for once?!"

"Be a good husband?! All I've been to you all these years was a good husband! If it weren't for you falling pregnant I wouldn't have spent the best years of my life like a prisoner in my own home!" Mingyu shouted into the phone before he heard a small gasp.

Mingyu turned to see Daehan standing by the bedroom door. His son had dropped the apple he'd been holding and his lower lip began to quiver. Fuck. There was no doubt that Daehan had heard that last bit of his conversation. Just when he'd thought things couldn't get worse, Jeonghan appeared just behind Daehan to pick up the fallen apple. The brunette's frown told Mingyu exactly what he wanted to know. He hung up on Hyoyoung and slowly moved toward Daehan who backed away and ran into Jeonghan's arms. Jeonghan in turn held the five year old close to his chest and hushed the boy as he sobbed. Mingyu suddenly felt very small under Jeonghan's penetrating gaze.

"That was uncalled for, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan shook his head, disappointment evident in his face.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I was angry, okay? I didn't mean it," Mingyu approached the two but Daehan immediately screamed and kicked.

"I think it's best if you give him some space right now," Jeonghan said as he paced back and forth in the kitchen.

"You know I didn't mean it right, Jeonghan? You know me."

"Do I?" Jeonghan furrowed his brow.

"I-" Mingyu clenched his fists, he knew he'd messed up.

Instead of making any further attempts to redeem himself, Mingyu grabbed his coat and his keys before storming out of Jeonghan's apartment. Jeonghan didn't even have time to register what had just happened until he realised he was left alone with Daehan. Did Mingyu just leave? He looked down at Daehan whose cries had dulled to a hiccup. The boy's chubby little hands tangled themselves in Jeonghan's shirt while his face was pressed into the brunette's chest.

"You okay now, bud?" Jeonghan patted Daehan's back.

"He hates me," Daehan whispered resting his cheek on Jeonghan's shoulder.

Jeonghan pursed his lips, what Mingyu said was seriously fucked up and Daehan did not deserve to hear it. Jeonghan was no stranger to spitting out cruel words so judging the former swimmer would make him a hypocrite but that didn't change the fact that he was angry. He gave Daehan's temple a gentle peck before setting the boy down and squatting down so they could see each other eye to eye. He needed to do some damage control.

"You listen to me, okay?" Jeonghan wiped away Daehan's tears with his thumbs while he held the five year old's face in his hands. "Don't you doubt for a moment that your daddy doesn't love you. People say all sorts of crazy things when they're angry. Your daddy has a lot on his mind, remember what I told you yesterday? He's a big dummy who isn't very good at controlling his emotions."

"But-but..." Daehan hiccuped.

"Grown ups can be really stupid sometimes, we say things that are hurtful because we don't want others to see our own weaknesses," Jeonghan sat down in a cross-legged position in front of Daehan. "We put up walls using harsh words because we want the other person to feel as hurt as we do. It's dumb and selfish but in the moment we don't realise how hurtful our words and actions can be."

"Will daddy come back?" Daehan asked.

"He will," if he didn't, Jeonghan was going to drag him back on his ass.

"Where did daddy go?" Daehan sniffled.

"Let's go find out," Jeonghan said as he went into the bedroom and took his phone off the charging cord on his nightstand.

He dialled Mingyu's number but there was no answer. He called a few more times and still the man didn't pick up. Jeonghan let out a sharp breath and changed into a pair of jeans before pulling a hoodie over his head. Looked like he was going on a witch hunt. He put a coat on Daehan and grabbed the overnight bag Mingyu brought over. They made their way down to the residential parking lot and Jeonghan helped the five year old into the back seat and buckled his seat belt. With no idea as to where the taller man could've gone, he decided to head straight to Mingyu's house. Jeonghan frequently checked on Daehan the entire ride and from what he could see the young boy didn't look happy, it actually broke his heart. Watching his mom and dad going through such a messy divorce must've been ten times as hard at his age. All the kid had ever known was the concept of 'mommy and daddy,' not 'mommy' and 'daddy' as two separate entities. Jeonghan himself felt dizzy thinking about what role he was playing in his current situation. He technically hadn't discussed what he was to Mingyu so he still had no official title. Jeonghan really had no clue where he stood.

"Jeonghan-hyung," Daehan's little voice called.

"Yes?" Jeonghan kept his eyes on the road.

"You're not going to leave like mommy right?"

Jeonghan swallowed, that got him right in the heart -- and it hurt.

"I'm here for as long as I can," Jeonghan knew the answer was vague but he didn't want to make any promises -- promises were dangerous.

Jeonghan drove past Cafe Serenity and continued winding through the next neighbourhood over and stopped at the two storey house with the blue mailbox. Jeonghan felt some of the weight fall off his shoulders seeing Mingyu's car in the driveway. He helped Daehan out of the vehicle and walked up to the front door and gave it a knock but quickly pulled his hand back when it swung open -- the door wasn't locked. Jeonghan hesitated for a moment standing at the threshold but Daehan dragged him by the hand.

"Daehan, slow down! You're going to fall-" Jeonghan stopped dead in his tracks to see Mingyu standing in the corridor...with a woman's arms around his waist and smeared pink lipstick on his lips.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu separated himself from the woman.

"I'll leave," Jeonghan simply said as he turned on his heel.

"Wait, Jeonghan!" Mingyu shouted.

"Jeonghan-hyung?" Daehan's voice echoed his dad's.

"I need some space," Jeonghan gave Mingyu's chest a light push.

"Jeonghan, listen to me," Mingyu grabbed the brunette by the biceps.

"Mingyu, let go," Jeonghan's voice was weak.

"Let me explain," Mingyu touched Jeonghan's face.

"You know, I thought I'd done the right thing that night I took Daehan home. I walked away telling myself that I shouldn't interfere. When you appeared at the bookstore I thought it was a sign that we should give us another chance."

"We can have another chance," Mingyu's dark eyes searched his.

"This is too messy, Mingyu," Jeonghan shook his head.

"Jeonghan, don't go," Mingyu begged.

"And what? Stay and talk over tea and biscuits with your wife?" Jeonghan asked.

"This is a huge misunderstanding," Mingyu tried to calm the brunette.

"Look, neither of us are in the right frame of mind right now, I don't want to argue with you and I don't want to do or say anything that'll hurt you. I've learnt from my mistakes. I want you to give me the same respect and let me leave," Jeonghan massaged his temples. "I don't think I can deal with this here and now. Give me a little time to cool off, please."

Mingyu reluctantly let go of Jeonghan's arm.

"Thank you," Jeonghan nodded as he climbed back into his car.

Mingyu watched the brunette reverse out of the driveway, he managed to catch the tears streaking down the man's face as he drove away -- Mingyu cursed before pounding his fist against the side of his car. He returned back inside where a timid Daehan stood at the foot of the stairs. His son didn't say a word and returned to his room, like he always did when he knew his parents were going to have another fight. It broke his heart knowing that it became routine for his son to hide in his room. He clenched his jaw out of habit and walked into the living room where Hyoyoung stood with a mug in her manicured hands while her pointed toe heels tapped impatiently against the wooden floors.

"Who was that?" Hyoyoung's calm tone didn't fool Mingyu.

"Why should I tell you?" Mingyu sneered.

"I'm your wife, Mingyu! I deserve to know!"

"How long are you going to use that against me?! We're divorced!"

"Not yet, we aren't! Who was he?! Why did you run after him?! What is he to you?!" Hyoyoung threw her mug at the wall, the pieces shattered and cascaded across the floor.

"You can already tell just by looking, can't you?" Mingyu was so sick of Hyoyoung's antics.

"I can't believe it, the rumours were true," Hyoyoung's arms fell limp at her sides. "Everyone kept telling me you had no interest in women but I didn't believe them. You were so sweet to me when we first started dating, what happened to you?"

"What happened to me?" Mingyu felt his temperature rising. "What do you think happened?! We were only dating for a few weeks and you lied about taking your birth control, that's what happened! You think I wanted to marry you?! You think I wanted to give up my swimming scholarship and work in a cubicle from nine to five?!"

"I loved you! I only lied because I wanted us to be together and Daehan made that happen! Remember how happy we were when he was born?!" Hyoyoung was playing dirty, she was using their child for emotional blackmail.

"Don't you dare bring Daehan into this," Mingyu warned.

"We can still fix this, Mingyu. We can still salvage our marriage if you just forgive me this one time," Hyoyoung reached out to touch Mingyu's arm but he took several steps back.

"You think I want to take you back after I found you with my coworker in our bedroom?" Mingyu scoffed. "I don't think so!"

"I was lonely! You think your circumstances are bad?! Think about what I had to endure! I spend day in and day out with a five year old as my only companion. Every time we get invited anywhere it's always me on my own because you refuse to go with me!"

"So what?! You can use me as an accessory?!" Mingyu shouted. "I don't love you! I only married you because of my father breathing down my neck, I never wanted this! I. Like. Men. Do you hear me?! Men! And guess what, sweetheart! You're not one!"

"You are unbelievable," Hyoyoung's jaw dropped. "You wasted no time in getting together with that guy just now, did you? Do I mean that little to you?!"

"You cheated on me, remember? Or is your memory that bad? I've been more happy these last few days than I was the entire length of our marriage and you had to mess that up by pulling that shit just now in the corridor! Jeonghan's not going to give me the time of day to explain after seeing that," Mingyu gritted his teeth.

"Jeonghan? You care about this Jeonghan person that much?! Well then too bad, if I can't be happy then neither should you!" Hyoyoung wiped away her crocodile tears. "I'm through with begging."

"Since you wanted the house and the cars, I'll oblige this one time and agree to your conditions. Take it, all of it. I don't want any of it," Mingyu walked around his wife. "All I want is Daehan. Keep everything else, it's yours."

"You've finally done something worthy of being called a good husband," Hyoyoung made a final jab as she walked into the kitchen.

Mingyu held back his anger and swallowed back the bitter taste that lingered in his mouth. He walked up the stairs and walked down the corridor to Daehan's bedroom and gave his son's door a knock before opening it. Mingyu felt like crap seeing his son hiding himself in his little reading corner with a blanket over his head while a book was laid open in his lap. Mingyu sat down on the fluffy rug under his feet and tilted Daehan's face up by his chin. The boy's lower lip quivered but he wasn't crying.

"I'm sorry," Mingyu whispered pressed his forehead against Daehan's.

"It's okay," Daehan kissed the tip of his dad's nose.

"I know you probably think I'm the worst dad in the world, I think the same of myself too," Mingyu said. "I'm sorry for never being there for you, I'm sorry for being so careless and selfish."

"It's okay," Daehan repeated.

"How are you able to forgive me so easily?" Mingyu held Daehan's chubby little hands in his.

"Jeonghan-hyung said adults can be dummies, they say mean words because they don't want people to think they are weak. When you're angry you say things you don't mean," Daehan recited.

"Jeonghan told you that?" Mingyu asked.

"Yeah," Daehan nodded before looking down and twiddling his fingers. "Can we go see him now?"

"I don't think Jeonghan wants to see us right now," Mingyu told the boy.

"Please?" Daehan's lower lip jutted out into a pout and his eyes started to water.

Mingyu mentally cursed. He slowly pulled out his phone and called Jeonghan's number. His heartbeat felt like a jackhammer in his chest and he swore it skipped a beat when Jeonghan's voice answered on the other end.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu breathed the man's name.

"Yes?" Jeonghan's tone was unreadable.

"Where are you?"

Jeonghan didn't reply for several seconds.

"Cafe Serenity," Jeonghan finally answered.

"Can I meet you there?" Mingyu braced himself for the rejection.

Another long silence.

"Sure," Jeonghan answered, it looked like he'd calmed down.

"Thank you," Mingyu said before he hung up and turned to look down at his son. "I'm going to ask you this once and I want you to answer me truthfully, alright?"

"Yes," Daehan nodded.

"Me and your mommy aren't going to be together anymore, you know that. I want you to know that you won't see her very much from now on, you're going to be living with daddy. Are you okay with that?" Mingyu tried his best to explain the situation.

"I know," Daehan nodded.

"Think about it carefully, Daehan. You won't be living in this house with both of us, it's just going to be you and me," Mingyu said.

"And Jeonghan-hyung?" Daehan's eyes lit up.

"I don't know, Daehan. I don't know," Mingyu frowned.

"Oh," Daehan mirrored his dad's expression.

"But we can try and get him back, Jeonghan-hyung doesn't fall for just anyone," Mingyu smiled sadly -- the stubborn brunette was hard to please.

"Try harder, daddy," Daehan said with a straight face.

"Will you help me?" Mingyu asked his son.

"Yes," Daehan nodded, his dark eyes lit up when he smiled.

"I'll pack us some bags, we're getting out of here," Mingyu pushed himself off the floor.

He packed only two bags. One for himself and one for Daehan. He had no idea where they were going to stay but he sure as hell didn't want to stay under the same roof as Hyoyoung for another minute. He slung both bags over his shoulder and carried Daehan on his hip as he walked over to Cafe Serenity. Though it was no longer winter it was still chilly out when the sun began to set. Since they'd woken up at noon they didn't get to see a whole lot of sunlight before it was dark again -- he'd wasted an entire day. He set Daehan down, the little boy waddle up the steps and pull open the glass door with a grunt. Mingyu followed behind him slowly and watched an apron clad Jeonghan bend down and pull his son into a hug before ruffling the boy's hair. The brunette's eyes turned to meet his and his smile fell.

"Mom, can you show Daehan the kitchen? He wants to see how you make the cakes," Jeonghan said to an older woman who bore a striking resemblance to her son.

"Hi, sweetheart!" Jeonghan's mother gushed and immediately whisked the boy away.

"Now we can talk," Jeonghan said, he didn't look happy.

"What you saw at the house was a huge misunderstanding, Jeonghan. She forced herself on me, I didn't initiate any of it. I might've been angry but it was at myself, I didn't do anything out of spite," Mingyu dropped the bags on his shoulders and approached the brunette.

Jeonghan took a few steps back and removed his apron before walking back to Mingyu and dragging him outside by the hand. Mingyu allowed himself to be lead away, they walked several blocks until they reached the entrance to a familiar park. It was the same one they'd gone to that one winter day all those years ago. Jeonghan pushed Mingyu down onto one of the park benches and held the taller man's face in his hands.

"I need you to answer some questions and I want to hear clear concise answers," Jeonghan said.

Mingyu swallowed.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

"Yes," Mingyu nodded.

"Do you still have feelings for your wife?"

"No."

"Do you see us becoming something in the long run?"

"I do."

"What am I to you?"

"Someone that I refuse to let slip through my fingers a second time," Mingyu reached out to pull Jeonghan close.

"I'm not expecting you to confess your undying love to me because I know that just isn't realistic," Jeonghan touched Mingyu's face with his fingertips. "I don't want us to rush into anything and I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to make time for me. First and foremost you're a father and I know Daehan will always be your first priority. I don't know how I'm going to fit in the picture but I'd very much like to be a part of it."

"You're not breaking up with me?" Mingyu was shellshocked, he was sure Jeonghan was going to kick his ass to the curb after what he'd witnessed.

"I trust you," Jeonghan simply said.

"Jeonghan-" the brunette covered the taller man's lips with his palm.

"I won't blame you for anything if we part ways a second time, I don't want to hurt you like I did back then."

"Why are you being so patient with me?" Mingyu pulled Jeonghan's hand away from his mouth before stroking the elegant digits.

"Because you deserve to be happy," Jeonghan answered.

In that moment Mingyu felt like the weight of the world fallen from his shoulders. He could finally stand tall for the first time since he'd shackled himself to a life that was a neverending tunnel -- he'd finally found the light at the end. Mingyu stood up and pressed Jeonghan close to his chest as he whispered sweet nothings into the brunette's ear.

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" Jeonghan asked.

"No," Mingyu replied.

"Did you and Daehan want to stay with me?" Jeonghan wrapped his arms around Mingyu's neck.

"Only if you want us."

"I do."

Jeonghan lead Mingyu back to the cafe with their pinky fingers intertwined. It was a cheesy thing to do but neither of them cared. Once they were back inside the cafe, Mingyu followed Jeonghan into the kitchen where his son sat on a stool while he watched Jeonghan's father pipe small buttercream roses onto a round cake on his work bench.

"Dad, I'm leaving now," Jeonghan gave his old man a pat on the back.

"Already? I was teaching Daehan how to make buttercream roses," his father protested.

"Don't worry, I'll bring him back another time. He's not going anywhere," Jeonghan said before turning to Mingyu and giving him a wink.

"Tell mom I'll be back during the week, I have to get my boys home," Jeonghan said as he went to grab Daehan.

"Jeonghan-hyung, whose this?" Daehan's little finger pointed to a framed photograph of himself and Junhui hanging on a nearby wall.

"That was a very good friend of mine," Jeonghan answered. "He passed away."

"He's...dead?" Daehan pouted.

"He is," Jeonghan nodded. "Some people aren't as lucky as others."

"What's his name?" Daehan asked.

"Junhui, Wen Junhui," Jeonghan smiled saying the name, it was a name he never got tired of saying. "Why so curious, little man?"

"I think I saw him before," Daehan said.

"You've seen him?" Jeonghan's brows furrowed.

"Daehan's seen my high school year book, it had a page dedicated to Jun," Mingyu came to stand beside them.

"Ah," Jeonghan nodded, that made sense.

"You ready to go?" Mingyu rubbed Jeonghan's lower back.

"Yeah, let's go," Jeonghan allowed himself to be lead.

He could finally call Mingyu his lover. No more past tense, they finally had a title. Jeonghan put himself in the driver's seat and Mingyu hopped into the passenger side after getting his son settled in. It felt strange having two extra people in the car, he'd been alone for so long that the addition of the father and son seemed like a crowd.

"I don't have a car or a house anymore but somehow I feel like I haven't lost anything, is that weird?" Mingyu's eyes took in the profile of the brunette's face as they drove.

"No, it's not," Jeonghan answered. "I've felt the same way about a lot of things I've left behind."

"Oh," Mingyu's face fell.

"I'm not talking about you if that's what you're thinking," Jeonghan gave Mingyu's hand an assuring squeeze.

"Then what is it that you're talking about?" Mingyu asked, he was nosy.

"I've travelled to a lot of places, I've worked all sorts of jobs and met people on all walks of life yet I never felt any sort of remorse when it was time to leave," Jeonghan explained. "Nothing compared to the pain of saying goodbye to you, every other goodbye that came after you paled in comparison."

"Is that so?" Mingyu felt his heart pounding anew.

"Yes," Jeonghan nodded.

"Daddy, are we there yet?" Daehan's sleepy voice asked followed by a yawn.

"Almost," Mingyu turned to see his child's eyes slowly closing as he swayed.

Jeonghan pulled into the gated complex and drove into the underground parking lot where he helped carry a drowsy Daehan while Mingyu handled the heavy bags. They took the elevator up ten floors and Jeonghan lead the way back into his apartment where Daehan immediately stripped himself down to his underwear and climbed back under the covers without a word to anyone.

"He's an actual copy of you," Jeonghan laughed as he watched the five year old create a fort of pillows around himself.

"I'd like to think he's me but without the all the flaws," Mingyu said as he too watched his son.

"You're not flawed, you've just been given more challenges to overcome," Jeonghan lead Mingyu over to the couch and gave the man a light push on the centre of his chest.

Mingyu fell back against the leather couch, his mouth fell open in surprise as Jeonghan straddled his lap and worked his long elegant fingers into his hair and massage his scalp. Mingyu closed his eyes at the strange sensation, the brunette's talented hands were somehow turning him into a limp noodle. Mingyu was sure it was witchcraft.

"Feel better?" Jeonghan asked as he pressed a kiss to Mingyu's lips.

"Yeah," Mingyu breathed. "How'd you do that?"

"I had a roommate from Switzerland who worked as a masseuse," Jeonghan said and immediately swatted Mingyu's chest after seeing the man clench his jaw. "He was just a roommate, nothing happened."

"Oh," Mingyu relaxed.

"Still possessive as ever, aren't we?" Jeonghan teased.

"Why'd you travel so much?" Mingyu's hands gripped Jeonghan's hips.

"See for yourself," Jeonghan bent back and grabbed a folded piece of paper off the coffee table.

Mingyu eyed the paper for a moment taking in the ragged state that it was in. The corners had been torn up and the constant touching and handling had warped it's flat surface. The long list of things written on the paper had been crossed out while a doodle of three cats were scribbled in the corner. The cat drawings were no doubt Junhui's. His former teammate on the swim team would graffiti the stupid things on everything. Mingyu's eyes travelled back to Jeonghan who gave him a smile.

"Junhui had a lot of things he wanted to do, since he couldn't do them I decided to fulfil them on his behalf," Jeonghan said as he looked at the tattered paper.

"So that's why you started with China," Mingyu acknowledged as he reached up to cup the side of Jeonghan's face. "What's the plan now that you've completed the list?"

"I don't know, I didn't think it through, I only thought about finishing it. It never occurred to me that I'd actually get it all done at some point," Jeonghan replied leaning into Mingyu's touch.

"We're a couple of idiots without a clue," Mingyu concluded.

"If you're not in any rush then we can slowly figure things out together," Jeonghan pressed himself against Mingyu's chest. "I can wait, I can wait as long as you want."

"I'd like that," Mingyu closed his eyes, he felt incredibly warm.

"Jun told me he didn't want to leave for China without telling me his feelings, do you know why?"

Mingyu shook his head.

"He didn't want to look back however many years later and regret and ponder on what could have been," Jeonghan's voice was barely above a whisper. "I did just that, I left without a proper goodbye and I've spent all this time wondering and pondering about you, about us."

"I say you made the right decision, because of your choices you managed to make something of yourself," Mingyu defended.

"Is it really an accomplishment if I have no one to share it with?"

"Are you sure? I'm a single parent who has no idea what I'm doing and now I'm homeless. I have nothing to give you," Mingyu's eyes searched Jeonghan's.

"You don't need to do the giving, you've done enough. Just let me take care of you, both of you," Jeonghan looked over through the bedroom doorway at Daehan before smiling at Mingyu.

There was no response from Mingyu. The taller man's head was downcast and his hands had fallen limp on either side of the sofa. Jeonghan tilted his lover's face up to see tears slowly streaking his sun-kissed skin. Jeonghan cocked his head, he was concerned.

"What's wrong?"

"You weren't the only one who was wondering about what could have been," Mingyu said as he captured the brunette's lips.

Jeonghan allowed Mingyu to do whatever he wanted, he threw any reservations he had out the window because in that moment it was all about them, no one else. A small moment of bliss that was theirs and theirs alone, free from prying eyes, free from interference -- it was beautiful.

"I prefer seeing that smile of yours, you look ugly when you cry," Jeonghan repeated the words Mingyu said to him all those years ago.

"Soonyoung, it's dark," Wonwoo peeped outside at the backyard where the florist was crouched down in front of his sunflower sprouts. "Don't you think it's time you come in?"

"You can head in first," Soonyoung said without looking at Wonwoo.

"Are you sure?" Wonwoo furrowed his brow, that didn't sound like Soonyoung.

"Yeah," Soonyoung replied as he continued to stare at the sprouts.

Wonwoo walked over to Soonyoung and squatted down beside his lover. He adjusted his glasses and touched the back of Soonyoung's head only to have his hand swatted away before Soonyoung scooted a few steps to his right. Wonwoo frowned, something was definitely bothering Soonyoung.

"Did I do something?" Wonwoo asked.

"No," Soonyoung said but he didn't look Wonwoo in the eye.

"Did I say something?" Wonwoo continued.

"No," Soonyoung repeated.

"Soonyoung, I can't fix anything if you don't tell me-"

"It's not you!" Soonyoung shouted before running back inside the shop.

Wonwoo stood still, he was rather shocked by the sudden outburst. Soonyoung rarely ever raised his voice like that. Instead of confronting the florist Wonwoo walked into the shop and followed his lover upstairs. The door to their bedroom was locked, he didn't bother with trying to get it open. Wonwoo sat cross legged on the floor and pulled out his phone before sending Soonyoung a message instead.

'Can you unlock the door?'

'No.'

'Are you angry?'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'I don't want to talk about it.'

'Can I help in any way?'

'It's not your problem, it's mine.'

'We're a couple, your problem is also my problem. I want to help you.'

That was when Soonyoung unlocked and opened the door, it was only just a crack but it was open. His lover's eyes peeped through the gap but Wonwoo could tell that his lover was still very upset.

"I don't want a baby, never have, never will," Soonyoung said. "I don't see myself as a parent, Wonwoo."

"That's it? That's all?" Wonwoo admonished.

"Yeah," Soonyoung nodded.

Wonwoo pushed against the door and promptly crushed Soonyoung against his chest. That silly little reason was why Soonyoung was hesitant about telling him his feelings. Wonwoo chuckled as he held onto the back of Soonyoung's head. Soonyoung was so stupid...he loved the man in his arms so very much.

"You're not angry?" Soonyoung looked confused.

"You thought I was serious about the baby thing?" Wonwoo continued laughing. "I don't want to be a parent either, Soonyoung. I don't like sharing. Having your attention all to myself is all I want in life. Saying I wanted to make a baby was just an excuse to get you in bed."

"Oh," Soonyoung buried his face in Wonwoo's chest. "Well now I'm just embarrassed."

"Don't be," Wonwoo kissed Soonyoung's forehead.

"Do you ever get tired of loving me?" Soonyoung sighed as Wonwoo stroked his hair.

"No," Wonwoo became serious. "Like you said, a sunflower will always search for the sun. You might see me as the sun but it goes both ways, we'll continue searching for each other."

"I can hear Jeonghan screaming in the distance," Soonyoung chuckled, they were so very cheesy.

"I love you," Wonwoo said.

"The screaming just got louder," Soonyoung smiled. "I love you too."

"Want to go make a baby?" Wonwoo teased.

"Let's aim for triplets," Soonyoung said as he unbuttoned Wonwoo's shirt.

"Wonwoo! You home?! I'm taking some eggs and milk from your fridge!" A low voice bellowed from below.

"Dad, go home!" Wonwoo shouted back, he really didn't like living so close to his father.

Chapter Text

It had been well over a week since Mingyu and Daehan had moved in and they'd managed to find a routine despite the lack of order. A few boxes still sat unpacked by the door and Daehan's bed frame had yet to be delivered from the old house so they all still slept together in the main bedroom. Sure it was chaotic but Jeonghan actually didn't mind it, the noise made the space livelier. He was quite satisfied.

Jeonghan had planned on being productive, he'd made a goal to get started on his new book but all those plans got pushed to the side. He'd offered to take Daehan to kindergarten like usual while Mingyu borrowed his car to go to work but the five year old had woken up with a bad cough and a high fever. Jeonghan scrapped everything and gave the boy his undivided attention. He'd expected the boy to be fussy like any other small child who was sick but Daehan had surprised him. The little boy didn't cry or whine about anything but instead had simply stayed curled up on the sofa with a blanket pulled close. Something about the boy's calm behaviour didn't sit well with Jeonghan. It just wasn't how a five year old should be acting.

Jeonghan finished making a small amount of rice porridge and mixed some honey and lemon juice together with warm water before bringing it over to the small boy on the sofa. Jeonghan reached over to touch Daehan's forehead but the five year old shied away. Jeonghan frowned, that uneasy feeling in his stomach wasn't going away.

"Daehan, come out from under there for a moment," Jeonghan patted the boy's head through the fleece blanket.

Daehan shook his head.

"I can't feed you if you don't come out," Jeonghan said.

"I'm not hungry," Daehan protested but his tummy gave a grumble in disagreement.

"Daehan, I just want to help you get better," Jeonghan settled himself down beside the young boy. "You love cuddles, why are being so cold today? Are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm not," Daehan sniffled under the blanket.

"Then why are you hiding, little man?"

"I don't want to waste your time," Daehan answered.

"Waste my time?" Jeonghan's brows knitted together. "Why would you be wasting my time?"

"Mommy told me," Daehan's voice was so soft Jeonghan barely heard it. "Good boys don't cause trouble for adults."

"Did she?" Jeonghan pursed his lips, he didn't like that one bit.

Jeonghan pulled the blanket away from Daehan's head and lifted the boy before settling the five year old on his lap. He cradled Daehan's head against his chest while he patted the five year old's back. He'd always thought Daehan was a little too...aware for someone his age. The boy rarely ever lashed out or screamed when he was upset which was an oddity for a child in his age group and Jeonghan was slowly understanding why.

"You're allowed to be a little demanding when you're sick," Jeonghan kissed the top of Daehan's head -- it smelt like baby shampoo and soap.

"Demanding? What's that?"

"You can ask me for things you want," Jeonghan explained.

"I can?"

"Yes," Jeonghan continued to stroke the boy's hair. "I'm here to take care of you. You're not causing me any trouble."

"You won't tell me to go to my room?" Daehan's hands fisted into the fabric of Jeonghan's sweater.

"I wouldn't want you to be alone when you're sick, that's not a very nice thing to do to someone who needs to be taken care of," Jeonghan shifted in his seat as Daehan wrapped his little arms around his neck.

"I can ask for extra cuddles?" Daehan hid his face in Jeonghan's neck.

"Of course," Jeonghan swallowed back the lump that formed in the back if his throat.

He didn't know much about Daehan's home life prior to his parents divorce but he was slowly putting together the pieces. The young boy seemed to lack a connection with both his parents. From what Jeonghan gathered, Daehan's mother wasn't very affectionate to her son, he was sure there was no abuse but just a severe lack of interaction. Daehan was scared of causing trouble for people and it broke Jeonghan's heart. The little boy was nervous just asking for extra cuddles, that didn't sit well with Jeonghan.

"Can you tell me a little about your mom?" Jeonghan popped Daehan in the spot beside him and reached for the rice porridge which had cooled down to the right temperature.

"She's pretty," Daehan replied as Jeonghan spooned porridge into his mouth.

"Anything else?" Jeonghan prodded.

"She likes pretty dresses, red ones are her favourite," Daehan took another spoonful of porridge.

"What about the things she does for you? Do you like her cuddles? Her kisses? Food that she cooks for you?"

"She..." Daehan's bottom lip quivered.

Jeonghan didn't ask any more questions. He had everything he needed to know. His mom wasn't the homemaker type of woman, Jeonghan totally respected that -- he just didn't approve of the way she'd raised Daehan.

"You've had it rough, little man," Jeonghan kissed Daehan's temple. "Both your mom and dad didn't give you enough attention, did they? Very naughty of them."

"Mommy was always busy, she said I should stay in my room until she called for me," Daehan was struggling to keep a straight face. "But she never does."

Okay that really got him. Jeonghan shook his head.

"You didn't get to see your dad a lot too, is that right?"

Daehan nodded.

"Do you have any favourite moments with your dad?"

"Daddy's never home," Daehan replied.

"Not even one?" Jeonghan pushed.

"When we went swimming," Daehan finally answered.

"Oh dear," Jeonghan cupped the child's face in his hands. "You are such a good boy, you know that? When I was your age I would cry over the smallest things. You're a lot stronger than I am. You had to be strong because you didn't have anyone to lean on but let me make this clear. You are allowed to cry, you're allowed to ask for things you want and you are allowed to speak your mind, okay?"

"But mommy said not to talk back to adults," Daehan shook his head.

"You're not talking back if you're saying it nicely," Jeonghan defended. "Let me spoil you a little more."

"Jeonghan-hyung," Daehan swallowed as his eyes began to water.

"Cry if you need to," Jeonghan assured and immediately the boy let out a gut wrenching scream that morphed into loud sobs.

The little boy let out every bit of sadness that he'd suppressed. Jeonghan didn't say a word, he held the five year old and rubbed his back all the while telling him that it was okay. The poor kid was brought up in a household with a severe lack of warmth. He was constantly seeking for his parents' approval and he lacked proper attention and affection from both parties. Jeonghan felt frustrated as well, the early stages of a child's life was when they learnt how to trust and in Daehan's case both his parents had failed in that category. Jeonghan ran a hand through his hair, he was going to have a long talk with Mingyu when the man came back from work. They needed to change some things.

"Feel better?" Jeonghan looked down at Daehan who finally calmed down.

"It hurts," Daehan pointed at his throat, his cough was not making things any easier.

"Here you go," Jeonghan handed the little boy the small glass of lemon and honey. "Sip slowly."

Daehan finished the glass and promptly went back to clinging onto the brunette like a koala. Jeonghan didn't mind it at all. He leaned back against the back of the sofa and hummed a simple tune while Daehan played with the short strands of his brown locks. The little boy gazed at him.

"What is it?" Jeonghan cocked his head.

"Can we cuddle a little more?" Daehan asked in a timid voice.

The boy was voicing his needs and wants. The boy had listened very tentatively to his words.

"As long as you want," Jeonghan kissed Daehan's forehead.

Jeonghan sighed. He and Mingyu definitely needed to have a talk.

Mingyu was exhausted, he'd had the misfortune of having to deal with a headache of an issue regarding something his company president had done in a drunken stupor at a club. Because of the old bastard's actions the entire public relations team had to do major damage control. Their stock value had gone down and two people in the PR team had already jumped ship. That meant more work to be distributed between their already small team of people.

Mingyu loosened his tie as he took the key out of the car ignition and walked into the elevator. Living in Jeonghan's apartment was comfortable, very comfortable. He'd woken up every morning to the brunette preparing little lunch boxes for Daehan before sending Mingyu off. He really did enjoy his new routine but he couldn't help but feel...inferior. He drove to work using Jeonghan's car, his son was walked to and picked up from kindergarten by the brunette and at the end of the day Jeonghan still owned the place they were living in. Jeonghan had told him that it was okay for him to take a backseat while he figured out what his next move was but Mingyu was beginning to think he was never going to happen. He had no direction and he also didn't have any motivation.

When he entered the front door Mingyu immediately caught sight of Jeonghan sitting cross legged in front of the coffee table on the living room floor. Daehan was wrapped in a blanket right beside him and his son had a small paint brush in his hand. Jeonghan turned and gave him a smile and walked over to give him a peck on the cheek. The brunette grabbed him by the elbow and lead him into the bathroom. Mingyu cocked a brow at the brunette.

"We need to talk," Jeonghan said.

"About what?" Nothing good ever came after those four words.

"Daehan," Jeonghan answered.

"What's wrong with Daehan?"

"He was sick today so I didn't take him to school," Jeonghan started. "I noticed a few things that just aren't right. Poor little guy didn't want me to take care of him even when he was coughing his lungs out because he said he didn't want to bother me. Any idea why he'd feel that way?"

"What are you trying to say?" Mingyu felt like Jeonghan was trying insinuate something.

"He learnt that from somewhere, I'm not saying that it's your fault. I just want to understand what made Daehan think the way that he does," Jeonghan held up his hands in defence.

"I don't know, Jeonghan. I wasn't exactly there either," Mingyu felt slightly annoyed.

"Mingyu, have you ever had any proper time with him? Just the two of you? Before the whole divorce debacle?" Jeonghan licked his lips. "He doesn't seem to have many memories he can clearly recall of both you and his mother, that's a little concerning."

"I was working, Jeonghan," Mingyu's words were curt.

"Even on weekends?" Jeonghan tried to be calm, he really did.

"Jeonghan, I don't want to do this right now. I just got home, can we talk about this later?"

"Later? I think something like this can't wait for later, Daehan is your son," Jeonghan was starting to get annoyed also.

"I'm aware," Mingyu shot back. "I'm really not appreciating this condescending tone of yours, Jeonghan."

"Condescending? How am I being condescending? I'm just trying to bring something to your attention. Your five year old son is sick and he didn't make a single fuss all day because he was scared of causing me trouble. A five year old shouldn't be apologising for being dependent, you know why? Because he's a child," Jeonghan took a sharp breath. "You can't use the excuse of being at work every time, Mingyu. Weekends exist, that period between the evening and Daehan's bedtime also exists. You can't tell me that you've had zero time to be with him in the five years he's been alive!"

"Jeonghan," Mingyu furrowed his brow. "You're not a parent, you have no idea what it's like. You did not go through the things that I went through. Don't act like you do. I know I haven't been a good father figure but I don't need you telling me how to raise my child. Just because you're giving me a place to stay, doesn't mean you can stick your nose into my business."

"Why are you bringing that up?It has nothing to do with this discussion and I'm not using that against you! I'm not telling you how to raise Daehan, I'm just bringing up a concern that I think might benefit him in the long run. I want you to give him more attention, I'm not asking for a lot. It isn't even something that should be discussed," Jeonghan couldn't hold back his temper. "I asked your son about his favourite memories with you and he had only one, that time we took him swimming -- that's it. While I'm at it, don't you think it's strange that he didn't shed a single tear when you told him that he wasn't going to be able to see his mom or his old home anymore? Ever asked yourself why? Well let me answer that for you, it's because he has no attachment to either. He had no good memories there and he had no close relationship with his mom. He should be screaming and crying for his mom or dad but he's not! Don't you feel bad for him? He's been such a good boy because he wants your validation but all you're giving him is a pat on the back. That's not enough."

Jeonghan wiped away the tear that slipped down his cheek, he knew he was getting way too emotional but he couldn't help it. He felt so bad for the little boy and he was frustrated by Mingyu's attitude. He pushed past Mingyu and grabbed his coat. Jeonghan knew he was being a coward for running away but he didn't want to spend another minute arguing with Mingyu. He'd promised not to hurt the man and he was keeping it even if Mingyu didn't give him the same courtesy. He needed to cool his head and if running away was the solution then so be it.

"Jeonghan! Wait!" Mingyu tried to halt the brunette.

"You're acting just like your father," Jeonghan threw over his shoulder. "Do you realise that?"

"Jeonghan-hyung?" Daehan scurried off the sofa but quickly had the front door close in his face.

The five year old stared at the door for several more seconds until he registered what happened. He started crying.

"Daehan," Mingyu called.

The five year old turned to look at his dad for a moment before climbing back onto the sofa.

"Daehan, come here," Mingyu stood at the end of the sofa.

His son ignored him.

Mingyu suddenly felt like shit. He removed his suit jacket and threw it onto the armchair beside the coffee table. He reached out and touched the boy's head only to have it swatted away by Daehan. His son was not happy. Mingyu ran a hand through his hair as he thought about how to approach the situation. He was still wrapping his head around the fact that Jeonghan had disappeared as well as the realisation that he'd messed up...again. He rubbed his hands over his face and groaned.

"Daehan, can you talk to daddy? Please?" Mingyu tried again.

"I don't want to!" Daehan said between sobs.

"Daehan, come here," Mingyu stayed calm.

Daehan wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt before shaking his head.

"You're not in trouble, I just want to hold you," Mingyu held out his arms.

Daehan looked hesitant but he slowly crawled over to his dad and allowed himself to be cradled. Being held by his dad was so very different from the way Jeonghan had held him. Where Jeonghan would rub his back and kiss his head, his dad's hands stayed idle. Instead of the sweet smell of vanilla and caramel, his dad's scent was stronger, harsher -- one of those grown up perfumes that he didn't like. Daehan didn't look up, he hated the way his dad's eyes bore into him. It reminded him of the countless number of times his dad would meet his gaze when he came home from work only to disappear again. He didn't have fond memories of that look.

"Are you sick?" Mingyu touched his son's forehead.

"Yeah," Daehan nodded.

"Did you eat anything? Have you taken any medicine?"

"Jeonghan-hyung made me porridge and gave me cough syrup," Daehan answered with a sniffle.

"Are you feeling better?" Mingyu pushed Daehan's hair back.

"Yeah," Daehan nodded again.

"Daehan, do you ever feel sad because of me and your mom?" Mingyu asked, he could feel his heartbeat accelerate -- he wasn't ready to hear the answer.

"Yes," Daehan replied without an ounce of hesitation. "All the time."

"Ah fuck," Mingyu cursed.

"Bad word, daddy," Daehan reminded.

"Daehan, what have I done that makes you sad," Mingyu swallowed. "Tell me."

"When you and mommy fight and tell me to stay in my room. It's lonely," Daehan answered.

"Anything else?"

"When you don't say hello to me after you come home. When you tell me you're too tired to read me a bedtime story and when you don't come to see me get awards at school. I'm really smart, daddy," Daehan's bottom lip quivered. "I'm really smart."

"Keep going," Mingyu bit the inside of his cheek, he felt like an absolute piece of crap.

"You use big words that I don't understand. You don't listen to me when I try to show you something and you never let me follow you anywhere. I want to go with you, daddy," Daehan whispered.

Mingyu pressed his lips into Daehan's forehead and apologised over and over. Jeonghan was right, he was absolutely right. No child of Daehan's age was that self-aware. He didn't realize now much he'd neglected his child. Mingyu had spent so much time avoiding his wife that he'd also alienated his poor son. He never thought about how Daehan must've felt, he was too busy wallowing in his own self pity. That was when he came to the bitter conclusion.

"I'm so sorry," Mingyu also began to cry.

Mingyu kissed his son's flushed cheeks and held him tight. The boy in his arms in turn gave his dad's chin a light peck and settled back into his father's chest. His poor Daehan had been so very strong even though both he and his wife didn't do a very good job. The little guy had suffered in silence.

"Don't cry, daddy," Daehan said. "I promise I'll be good."

"No, Daehan. You've always been a good boy, it's daddy whose wrong. I promise I'll change, I promise I'll be here for you. Don't be afraid to come to me for anything," Mingyu held Daehan's chubby little hands. "I love you."

"I love you too, daddy," Daehan whispered.

Mingyu closed his eyes as he rocked his son back and forth. Now he needed to get Jeonghan's forgiveness. It wasn't going to be easy.

Jeonghan stuck his hands inside his pockets as he sat alone on a park swing. He had thought about taking the car but had decided against it since Mingyu needed it for work the following day, he hated himself for still caring about the man even though he should've been angry. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his list of contacts and scoffed. He had no one to talk to. Soonyoung and Wonwoo were probably being happy and domestic and other than Mingyu he didn't have any other contacts in Seoul. Just as he was about to get up and leave his screen lit up with a message. It was from Mrs. Wen. Jeonghan opened it immediately. It was a picture of a bunch of blue Baby's-breath, the message under it read 'missing you very much.' Jeonghan called the woman right away.

"Hello?" The older woman's sweet voice greeted.

"Mrs. Wen?"

"Oh Jeonghan! Hello sweetheart!" The woman's voice made him smile. "How have you been?"

"I've been better," Jeonghan sighed.

"What's wrong dear? Aren't you happy to finally be back home?"

"I am but..." Jeonghan pressed his lips together. "I...I'm having some issues."

"Tell me what's bothering you, sweetheart. I'm here for you," the woman cooed.

"I ran into Mingyu again. We had a heart to heart and we're dating again but we keep stepping on each other's toes. He's got a son, he's going through a divorce and now he's living with me. It's a lot to take in, I think I bit off more than I can chew."

"Well, that was definitely not what I expected to hear, I just thought you'd run into some writer's block," Mrs. Wen tutted.

"I actually am having writer's block now that you mention it," Jeonghan frowned, another problem reared its head. Great.

"Is this the same Mingyu boy you broke up with before you left with me for China?"

"Yes," Jeonghan breathed.

"Do you care about this boy?"

"I do," Jeonghan replied.

"What is it that made you want to be together again?" Mrs. Wen questioned.

"I just...I can't explain it. When I saw him again for the first time my heart wanted to leap out of my chest. When I found out he had a family it felt like someone had trampled on me while I was down." Jeonghan bit the tip of his thumb. "I just didn't expect to fall for him all over again. I get butterflies in my stomach when I see him smile and it feels like I'm seventeen again. His son is so very precious too, the boy can count up to thirty. His name's Daehan and he is the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

"Everything you've said up till now has been positive so why are you so down, Jeonghan?" Mrs. Wen asked.

"We're still fighting as much as we did back then, I'm trying my hardest to be level headed but it's hard when Mingyu doesn't want to cooperate. He's stubborn, he's sensitive and he won't admit to his mistakes," Jeonghan huffed.

"Sweetheart, you've basically described yourself," Mrs. Wen laughed.

"Oh god, you're right."

"As someone who was also a parent once, I can say that raising a child is not easy especially when you're in an unhappy marriage. I know you have Mingyu's best interest in mind but it's hard for a parent to hear that they're not raising their child right. It doesn't matter if your advice is valid or not, hearing the criticism still hurts. Mingyu probably wasn't ready to hear it, he's getting divorced, he's now the sole caretaker of a child and now he has to get used to a completely new dynamic with you back in his life. That's quite a lot of stress for one person, don't you think?"

"You're amazing at analysing a situation, Mrs. Wen," as he rubbed his tired eyes. "I really don't know what I'd do without you."

"I'm just returning the favour, sweetheart," Mrs. Wen said. "You're a wonderful human being, you just lose sight of what you want because you're so focused on the destination that you don't pay attention to the obstacles in your way."

"That's actually quite accurate," Jeonghan admitted.

"I need to head off, sweetheart but call me again any time if you need to talk. I hope everything works out with Mingyu."

"Thank you," Jeonghan smiled, he really did love the older woman.

"I hope you're staying warm, it may be the end of winter but it's still very cold at night," Mrs. Wen added.

"It's okay, the cold doesn't bother me as much as it used to," Jeonghan assured, he'd been immune to the cold for a while now.

"I still expect you to wear your coat, Yoon Jeonghan. Don't forget your gloves either," Mrs. Wen really was Junhui's mother.

"I will, goodnight," Jeonghan said.

"Goodnight, dear," Mrs. Wen hung up.

Jeonghan sat looking his phone screen for several seconds as he thought about his next move. He didn't want to go back and face Mingyu yet but at the same time he needed to go home. With a sigh he swallowed down his pride and called Soonyoung.

"Hello?"

"Can I crash at your place tonight?"

"Something happened with Mingyu?" Soonyoung guessed.

"Bullseye," Jeonghan answered dryly.

"Sure man, just a word of warning though," Soonyoung said. "Junhui's old room is the guest room."

"That's...fine," Jeonghan replied.

"Come over whenever, me and Wonwoo aren't sleeping any time soon. If want to talk I'm all ears," Soonyoung said.

"Thank you, I'll be there soon," Jeonghan ended the call and pocketed his phone.

He hadn't been in Junhui's room since the night he'd helped Mrs. Wen put the boy's belongings into storage. It was going to be an odd experience.

Chapter Text

Crashing waves and the feel of gritty sand between his toes told Jeonghan exactly where he was. He was back on the lonely stretch of beach and the cool ocean breeze was once again caressing his face. The sun on his neck felt so very warm, the tingling sensation on his skin brought back memories of the time he'd spent in Spain working as a barista. Jeonghan closed his eyes and waited.

A pair of strong arms circled around his waist and a chin came to rest on his shoulder. Only one person ever held him like that. Jeonghan leaned his head against the person who held onto him and touched the man's large hands. He knew this situation too well, if he turned around the man behind him would disappear and he would wake up. Jeonghan intertwined his fingers with the man's larger ones and brought the digits to his lips.

"Jun," Jeonghan whispered.

Like always Junhui never said a word, he simply pressed a kiss to Jeonghan's temple and continued to hold onto Jeonghan's waist. Junhui always seemed to appear whenever he needed him most. Jeonghan was sure the boy was watching over him. It hurt him knowing he could never see Junhui's face but feeling the warmth of the taller boy's body pressed against his back and the rhythmic beating of his heart made up for all of that. Jeonghan watched as Junhui turned over his hand and began writing something on his palm with his finger. It tickled but Jeonghan didn't flinch or pull back, he sounded out the Chinese characters Junhui had taught him one day during their summer break in sixth grade.

"I...love...you," Jeonghan muttered the words Junhui tried to convey to him.

Junhui placed his large palm over Jeonghan's heart.

"I love you too, I won't ever stop loving you," Jeonghan let out a shaky breath. "But there's also Mingyu, what should I do?"

Junhui began scribbling onto Jeonghan's palm with his finger again, this time it was in Korean.

"Love...us...both," Jeonghan read the letters as Junhui wrote them out.

"Jun," Jeonghan turned around and immediately regretted it, he'd forgotten the rule -- he looked back. Junhui wasn't there anymore.

Jeonghan's eyes slowly opened, he pulled himself up and massaged his temples. His hands always felt so warm after he dreamt of Junhui, it was as if the boy had actually been there to keep them warm. Jeonghan looked down at his palm, Junhui's touches had felt so real. It was so difficult to believe it was only a dream when they were to vivid. He could still recall the feel of the boy's soft hair tickling his neck while he held him from the back. Jeonghan looked around at the blank walls of the bedroom he was in and experienced a brief moment of confusion before he remembered that he wasn't in his own bed. He was in Soonyoung and Wonwoo's guestroom a.k.a Junhui's old bedroom. Jeonghan's fingers touched the wooden headboard until he felt the familiar scratches that marred the smooth surface. A small cat was scratched onto the wood. Jeonghan smiled, Junhui had done it during a sleepover when they were twelve.

"Jeonghan, you up?" Soonyoung knocked on his door.

"Yeah," Jeonghan replied. "Come in."

"How'd you sleep? Did you have a good dream at least?" Soonyoung stepped into the room wearing a pair of gardening boots and a small spade in his glove clad hands.

"It was bittersweet," Jeonghan answered as he climbed out from the covers.

"Do you want breakfast?"

"No, I'm good. I've bothered you guys enough," Jeonghan said. "I'll make the bed and then I'll head back."

"Are you sure?" Soonyoung fiddled with his spade.

"Yes, don't worry about me," Jeonghan nodded.

"Okay but if you need anything just come find me, I'll be in the plant nursery out the back," Soonyoung threw a concerned look over his shoulder and headed downstairs.

Jeonghan made the bed as promised and took a look around at the room. The renovations had done wonders for the place but Jeonghan really missed the faded yellow walls. He touched his palm against the wall and pressed his forehead against it. He knew it was stupid but he truly felt like Junhui was still there. Jeonghan pocketed his phone and wallet as well as his keys before saying a quick goodbye to Soonyoung on his way out. Despite wanting to go home, Jeonghan decided to wander around the city instead. He still hadn't figured out how to apologise to Mingyu. He'd never been the type to lack in words but everything seemed to be different with Mingyu. The man made him forget how to string sentences together, made him tongue-tied and left him a bumbling mess. In the end he headed home, he missed Mingyu and he missed Daehan.

Jeonghan could feel his heartbeat in his throat and there was a dull ringing in his ear that just didn't go away. He unlocked the door to the apartment and braced himself. To his surprise Mingyu was sitting on the sofa while a shorter man sat in one of the armchairs with his hands clasped together in his lap. The shorter man's face lit up when he saw Jeonghan walk through the threshold.

"Jeonghan," the shorter man said.

"Jihoon?" Jeonghan furrowed his brow, why was Lee Jihoon, his publishing commissions editor, with Mingyu?

"Didn't we say our meeting was on Wednesday?" Jeonghan asked Jihoon as the petite man came to give him a hug.

"I'm not allowed to visit you outside of work?" Jihoon's smile was playful. "I heard you were back in Seoul, I miss having a drinking buddy."

"I guess you've already met Mingyu?" Jeonghan looked over at his lover whose eyes were narrowed into slits.

"Oh right, him," Jihoon looked over at Mingyu with disdain.

"Jihoon tells me you guys are close, really close," Mingyu said, his jaw was pulled tight -- that wasn't a good sign.

"Yeah, he was the one who made my debut as a writer happen," Jeonghan answered. "I owe him everything."

"Yes, Jihoon told me that also," Mingyu frowned.

Jeonghan could feel the tension between the two men and it was thick. He didn't like it at all.

"I came to visit you since I heard you were moving back permanently," Jihoon handed him a bag with a rather expensive looking wine bottle inside. "A housewarming present."

"Thanks," Jeonghan accepted the gift.

"You free right now? I'd like to talk to you about some changes for the next publication of your book series," Jihoon touched his elbow.

"Well," Jeonghan looked over at Mingyu, the man didn't look happy.

"Go," Mingyu said to the brunette. "It's for your work, just go."

"Great, grab your coat," Jihoon smiled and quickly threw a look over his shoulder at Mingyu as he ushered the writer out of his own apartment.

"Jihoon, I think we should leave this for another time," Jeonghan resisted the pull on his arm from the petite man.

"We need to talk, now," Jihoon's expression turned serious.

"Fine," Jeonghan answered.

"Come on, follow me," Jihoon once again dragged the brunette by his arm.

Jeonghan ran a hand through his hair giving a cautious glance over his shoulder at his apartment door before he joined Jihoon into the elevator. They walked into the residential parking lot where Jeonghan stared at Jihoon's massive black Jeep for a moment. The man's car was a far cry from his physical appearance. The brunette climbed into the passenger side and Jihoon drove out of the complex. As they drove, Jeonghan noticed the way Jihoon would occasionally look at him before focusing back on the road. The petite man definitely had questions for him.

"So when did he come back into your life?" Jihoon asked.

"It's been a little under a month," Jeonghan answered.

"So why is he suddenly living with you?"

"It's hard to explain," it wasn't actually, Jeonghan just didn't want to tell the story.

"Isn't this the same Mingyu who was living by his dad's rules and didn't have the balls to come out? The same Mingyu who you've been hung up over for the last six years? That Mingyu? What makes you think it'll work out this time if you've already broken it off once?" Jihoon's grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"Anger doesn't look good on you, Jihoon," Jeonghan commented.

"What gives you that impression?" Jihoon kept his eyes on the road.

Jeonghan pursed his lips. Yes he and Jihoon had been friends ever since the man had reached out to him regarding the publishing deal. They'd been each other's confidant though despite Jeonghan being in different countries throughout their professional and private life. He'd relied on the shorter man for support on nights where he'd felt alone and Jeonghan in turn made sure Jihoon didn't end up as a hermit with no human contact -- the shorter man was an absolute workaholic. They'd never once crossed the boundary of being just friends, their relationship was purely platonic.

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" Jihoon kept his eyes on the road.

"A while, almost a month," Jeonghan answered.

"To think I've spent all this time telling you to move on only to find out you're back together with that guy," Jihoon's tone was curt.

"Sorry," Jeonghan apologised. "I don't know what else I can say, I think he and I can do it right this time."

"Are you sure? You've never been the guardian to a small child before, it's not going to be a short term commitment," Jihoon argued.

"Why is Mingyu having a child a relationship deal breaker?" Jeonghan rolled his eyes. "He has a child not the plague."

"What if he changes his mind and wants his child to be raised in a household with a mother figure? What are you going to do then?"

"Jihoon, can you be supportive instead of throwing negativity left and right?" Jeonghan looked over at the smaller man.

"I'm sorry, I'm a pessimist by nature. I worry," Jihoon apologised. "I just hope you know who you're getting involved with. A relationship is ten times harder with a child in the mix, you're never just going to be a couple. It's like having a permanent third wheel until that third wheel turns eighteen and moves out. I don't want to see you unhappy."

"I was depressed and lonely but that all changed because of Mingyu and Daehan," Jeonghan assured. "I'm very content with everything right now, I don't mind the idea of taking care of a small child."

"I know you're more than capable of making decisions for yourself but I really want you to think this through," Jihoon sighed. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Thank you for looking out for me and I really do appreciate it but I can handle it on my own," Jeonghan smiled weakly. "I'm not a child, Jihoon."

"I know but that doesn't mean I have to like it," Jihoon grumbled.

"What about you? Shouldn't you be on the lookout for someone too? Don't you get lonely sometimes?" Jeonghan quirked a brow.

"No, I am perfectly happy," Jihoon scoffed at the thought of dating. "I don't have time for that shit."

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" Jeonghan said, his voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I'll drive you back to the apartment, I think this conversation has reached a plateau," Jihoon turned the car around. "I really hope you know what you're doing, Jeonghan."

"I do," Jeonghan nodded, he was so very sure.

"Call me if you ever need to talk," Jihoon patted Jeonghan's shoulder as they made it back to the apartment complex. "I really meant it when I said I missed you as a drinking buddy."

"Thanks for looking out for me, in and out of work," Jeonghan waved as Jihoon rolled up his car window.

Jeonghan made his way back inside his apartment and as he stepped through the door he met Mingyu's gaze. His lover was sitting in the exact same spot on the sofa as before. He wore a cold expression which was only emphasized by his already sharp features. Jeonghan removed his coat and hung it in the coat rack before he approached the taller man.

"You two seem awfully close," Mingyu said without even a hello.

"We are," Jeonghan frowned at Mingyu's tone.

"Too close to be just friends," Mingyu crossed his arms over his chest.

"Mingyu, don't," Jeonghan breathed through his nose, he really didn't need this right now. "Whatever it is that you're thinking just stop it."

"Stop what? You obviously have something going on with that guy," Mingyu pointed at the door.

"Are you serious? You're just going to blatantly accuse me of being involved with someone else behind your back?" Jeonghan was flabbergasted.

"I don't know about you but judging by how he talked to me and the way he touched you, I think it's a little suspect," Mingyu narrowed his eyes.

"There's nothing going on between me and Jihoon, he and I have been friends for years. He's just looking out for me okay? You're the new guy in my life, he's just making sure I don't get hurt," Jeonghan tried to explain. "He's cold towards people he doesn't know, it's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Next you're going to tell me that you and him are fuck buddies but, you know, it's not a big deal," Mingyu mocked.

"Really, Mingyu? I'm really not liking this jealous side of you," Jeonghan shook his head. "Why are you making such a fuss?!"

"Because a man came to your apartment and told me, to my face, that I'm not good enough for you," Mingyu spat.

Jeonghan mentally cursed, Jihoon didn't mention that to him during the car ride at all.

"Okay, I agree that what Jihoon said to you was out of line but that doesn't change the fact that there is nothing going on between us! We're just friends!"

"Oh right, should I act surprised when I find you two together in our bed next? Huh?!" Mingyu shouted.

"I'm not your ex-wife! So stop treating me like I am! I'm not cheating on you, Mingyu! You need to get a grip and stop letting paranoia get the better of you! Just because Hyoyoung did that to you, doesn't mean I will! Don't lump us into the same category, that's just plain disrespectful!"

"You certainly sound like her!" Mingyu's words hit him hard.

"I can see why she wanted the divorce, this side of you is absolutely disgusting. If only you were more like..." Jeonghan had to catch himself.

"What? Like Jun?! Then I'll make things easy for you," Mingyu said. "I'm leaving today. You won't have to see my disgusting existence anymore. I'll have all of my possessions as well as Daehan's out of here by the evening."

"Six years and you still haven't changed your ways," Jeonghan shot a pained look over at Mingyu.

"I'm sorry for disappointing you," Mingyu threw over his shoulder.

"Typical," Jeonghan locked himself in the bedroom, he buried himself under the covers and cried.

He'd come home with the intention of giving an apology and instead he got a breakup. That was fucked up.

"Well that's a little concerning," Soonyoung mumbled as he flicked through the pages of the newspaper in his hands.

"What is it?" Wonwoo asked his lover as he loosened his tie.

"Well, according to this week's horoscope there's going to be problems regarding romance for both Aries and Libra. Those are Jeonghan and Mingyu's signs," Soonyoung looked up from the newspaper, his lower lip pouted in concern.

"You don't actually believe in that shit, do you? It's just a bunch of swill written by forty year old men living in their mothers' basements," Wonwoo kissed Soonyoung's temple before joining his lover at the dining table.

"I think it might be right this time," Soonyoung frowned. "You know how turbulent their relationship was in the past, who knows what kind of issues they might have now -- they're two very strong personalities who are just bound to clash. Jeonghan slept over last night because of a fight with Mingyu. I'm worried for them."

"I know but we can't stick our noses into their business, Soonyoung. Some people just aren't as lucky as we are," Wonwoo touched the florist's hands. "Some sunflowers aren't lucky enough to find their sunshine."

"I hate horoscopes," Soonyoung concluded as he plopped the newspaper down on the table.

"A lot of people do," Wonwoo ran his fingers through Soonyoung's head of smooth locks.

"Have you ever questioned your feelings for me?" Soonyoung's question caught Wonwoo by surprise.

"Why would you ask that?" Wonwoo frowned.

"I can't turn on the laptop or use it without asking you a million questions, I always forget to put the your white work shirts into a separate batch of laundry, I can't cook very well and I'm constantly relying on you for the smallest of tasks," Soonyoung played with the ring on Wonwoo's pinky finger. "I feel like I tricked you into being with me."

"Soonyoung," Wonwoo placed a hand over the florist's. "All the things you listed are all parts of you that I absolutely adore. I like having you depend on me, that shows me that you trust me. Sure I've gone to work a few times wearing a shirt with questionable colours staining the fabric but that doesn't bother me. If it weren't for you I'd have lived a bland life eating packaged ramen day in and day out. Without you I'd be a sunflower without my sunshine. I'd wither away into nothing."

"You mean that?" Soonyoung pressed his forehead against Wonwoo's, it was their silent way of saying 'I love you.'

"I do and I hope Jeonghan and Mingyu find their happiness like we did," Wonwoo glanced over at the discarded newspaper. "No forty year old man's false horoscope is going to stop them. As much as I still resent Mingyu for being such a coward back then he's somewhat redeemed himself, they still managed to find each other even after six years. If that's not divine intervention then I don't know what is."

"I really hope you're right," Soonyoung sighed. "Those two have been through so much already. They deserve to be happy."

"Do you know what Jeonghan used to say?" Wonwoo looked over at Soonyoung.

Soonyoung shook his head.

"He said that he and Mingyu were like water and oil, no matter how hard you shook those two components together they just didn't mix," Wonwoo said.

"Oh," Soonyoung didn't like the sound of that.

"But if you think about it, as long as you don't force those two components to mix they'll continue to peacefully reside beside one another without any issues," Wonwoo draped an arm around Soonyoung's shoulders.

"You're right," Soonyoung physically relaxed.

"They'll figure it out. I know they will," Wonwoo assured. "Sure it'll take a little compromising and some squabbling but they'll get there."

Soonyoung held onto Wonwoo's hand, he just hoped that Jeonghan and Mingyu didn't do something stupid...again.

Chapter Text

Jeonghan tapped his pencil against his sketchbook and looked over at his wall clock. It was three o'clock in the afternoon, he'd sat down at his desk with the intention of starting a new story but nothing happened. He was having the worst case of writer's block he'd had in years. Coming up with a story line had never been so difficult. He closed his sketchbook in frustration and flung his pencil on the desk, the broken graphite tip leaving streaks of grey on the wood. Jeonghan ran a hand through his hair and paced back and forth in his apartment before his foot caught on something on the floor. He bent down and picked up the fabric under his toes and flipped it the right side out -- it was one of Daehan's socks. Jeonghan's frown deepened.

He set the tiny blue sock down by his dresser and walked over to the spare bedroom. Jeonghan missed hearing the five year old's laughter, he missed the way the boy would touch his hair while being held and he definitely missed the boy's father. Jeonghan didn't even get to say a goodbye to the five year old and that left a bad taste in his mouth, did Mingyu hate him that much? He curled himself into a ball on the sofa and the let the sound of the television play in the background. The noise gave him the illusion that he wasn't alone.

"What do you mean?! I submitted those documents to you well over a week ago!" Mingyu shouted into his phone.

"Well I can't seem to find them, do me a favour and go send me a new copy," his superior said, there was no sign of remorse in her voice.

"What if I don't?" Mingyu challenged.

"You won't be returning to work on Monday if I don't get that document," the woman answered before hanging up on him.

"Fuck!" Mingyu threw his phone onto the bed and yanked his tie off from around his neck.

Everything was going wrong, there was not a single thing that was going right in his life. He was so tired. Mingyu unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt which dug into his Adam's apple and poured himself a glass of water. The only emotion he seemed to feel as of late was frustration and anger. He was so angry that he didn't even celebrate when his divorce was finalised. He took a look around at the tiny apartment he'd rented and frowned, the place was a massive downgrade from what he was used to but it would do until he found a proper place for him and Daehan.

"Daddy," Daehan's little voice called as the boy tugged at his shirt sleeve.

"Not now, Daehan," Mingyu yanked his arm away as he opened his laptop -- he needed to get those documents to his supervisor ASAP.

"But daddy-"

"Go to your room, I'm busy," Mingyu repeated.

"O-okay," Daehan stuttered before scurrying off to his room, the boy's face carried a look of disappointment as he walked away.

Mingyu searched through his list of emails until he found the right one and promptly forwarded it to his supervisor. He sent it two more times to be safe and closed his laptop before he leaned back against the uncomfortable sofa behind him. He looked at his watch before looking over at Daehan's bedroom door. He immediately regretted sending his son away, he'd already reverted back to his old habits -- he'd done exactly what Daehan asked him not to. He pushed his son away. Mingyu pulled himself off the sofa and walked over to Daehan's room and gave the door a knock. There was no answer. Mingyu tried again. He was once again met with silence.

"Daehan, are you okay?"

There was not a peep from Daehan.

"Daehan, I know you're mad at me but could you at least answer daddy?"

Mingyu's brows drew together. He opened the door and immediately felt the blood drain from his face. Daehan was faced down on the floor, he wasn't moving. Mingyu fell to his knees and laid the five year old in his lap. Daehan's face was burning red and his forehead was slick with sweat. His son was trembling and his breathing was laboured. Mingyu sat froze, he didn't know what to do. His hand palmed frantically at his pockets until he found his phone. He knew he was panicking but he'd never dealt with something like this before, it was the first time he'd had to care for Daehan alone. Mingyu quickly called for the first person he could think of.

"Mingyu?" Jeonghan answered.

"Something's wrong with Daehan! He's running a fever, his breathing is shallow! He's sweating so much but he's shivering! He's-" Jeonghan cut him off.

"Calm down, Mingyu! Text me your address and I'll be there, just calm down. Daehan will be fine," the sound of keys jingling could be heard from Jeonghan's end.

"Okay, I will," Mingyu swallowed, his mouth felt so very dry.

"I'm on my way, just hold tight," Jeonghan reassured before he hung up.

Mingyu texted Jeonghan the address and set his phone down on the hardwood floor. He wiped away the layer of sweat from Daehan's brow and pressed a kiss to the boy's damp hair. His poor son had tried to tell him he was still ill yet he'd pushed him aside all because of a stupid document. Mingyu had no doubt in his mind that he was a bad father, nothing could convince him otherwise -- not even Daehan. He chewed on his lower lip as he held back tears, he really was turning into his father.

"Hello? Mingyu? Hello?!" A loud knock came from the front door about fifteen minutes later.

Mingyu pulled himself up from the floor with Daehan in tow and flung the door open. A frantic Jeonghan stood on the other side wearing a grey sweatpants and a black hoodie. His short brown locks were damp, the man looked like he'd come straight from the shower. Jeonghan zeroed in on Daehan before he nodded toward the staircase.

"Come on, there's a twenty-four hour clinic about ten minutes away from here. I'll drive," Jeonghan lead the way out.

Mingyu hopped in the back seat with Daehan and Jeonghan drove them to the clinic. The drive was silent, neither of them wanted to speak -- what could they have possibly said? Jeonghan stopped the car in front of the clinic and Mingyu got out with Daehan in his arms. The brunette watched the father and son disappear into the building and considered driving back home but the minute he started driving away he felt a pang in his chest. He couldn't do it, he still cared too much to just leave, especially when Mingyu was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Sure he was still angry but he wasn't angry enough to ignore the man. It also didn't feel right leaving until he knew for sure Daehan was okay.

Jeonghan turned his car around and parked in the nearest spot he could find. He walked into the clinic and squinted against the blaring fluorescent lighting and searched around until he found Mingyu sitting in one of the grey plastic chairs in the waiting area. He got down on one knee in front of the taller man who had his face in his hands and pried away the calloused digits. Mingyu's eyes met his before they looked away. The man's eyes were bloodshot and tears streaked his cheeks. Jeonghan reached out to wipe away at Mingyu's cheek but the man recoiled. Jeonghan persisted and tried again, this time Mingyu leaned into his touch before grabbing hold of Jeonghan's hand.

"Why am I such an idiot, Jeonghan?" Mingyu's voice shook. "Why can't I learn from my mistakes?"

"Shhh," Jeonghan hushed. "It's okay, everything is going to be fine."

"No, it's not! Everything is going to shit because of me! I'm supposed to be his dad, I'm supposed to be the one protecting him yet I've failed to do so! It's not even the first time! I promised him I'd change but I keep pushing him away! He shouldn't have to go through all of this!" Mingyu sobbed. "All I do is make people unhappy, first my wife, then Daehan and now I've done it to you as well, it all leads back to me -- I'm the problem."

"Mingyu, calm down!" Jeonghan held the man by his shoulders. "Stop and just breathe. Close your eyes and take a deep breath, okay? Can you do that?"

Mingyu nodded once. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as instructed. He felt Jeonghan's hands filter into his hair before the fingers started massaging his scalp -- Jeonghan touched him the same way he did when they sat together on the sofa. Mingyu could feel his shoulders sag as Jeonghan worked out every knot he had. Mingyu got goosebumps when the brunette began to whisper in his ear.

"You're doing fine," Jeonghan said. "You're doing just fine."

"I'm not, Jeonghan, I'm not," Mingyu rested his head against the brunette's shoulder.

"Daehan's going to be fine, he's seeing a doctor now. He's in safe hands," Jeonghan assured.

"Kim Mingyu-shi?" A woman's voice made the two men look up.

"Yes?" Mingyu stood from his seat.

"We just finished up with Daehan, all his symptoms point towards just the common flu. It's nothing serious but it seems that Daehan hadn't had his flu shot yet so I highly recommend you come back at a later date to get that sorted out," the doctor said as she looked down at her notes. "He's a little dehydrated so we gave him a little drink full of electrolytes to help remedy that. I also recommend you keep him home for a couple of days, chances are he caught the flu from one of the other children at his school. Make sure to give him warm liquids, nothing cold and if he feels uncomfortable give him a shower, the steam helps his nasal passage and makes it easier to breathe. I'll write down a prescription for you and you can head home."

"Thank you," Mingyu let out a relieved sigh.

"I'll go bring Daehan over, you wait right here."

"See? Nothing to worry about," Jeonghan rubbed Mingyu's back.

"Daddy!" Daehan cried as the doctor brought him over.

Mingyu held out his arms and Daehan immediately reached for him. He kissed his son's forehead and rocked back and forth as the boy's pudgy hands wrapped around his neck.

"Come on, I'll take you guys back," Jeonghan nodded toward the exit.

"Jeonghan-hyung, are we going back with you?" Daehan asked as they headed toward Jeonghan's car.

"No, you're not, Daehan," Jeonghan answered.

"Oh," Daehan's eyes began to water again.

Mingyu stared at the back of Jeonghan's head as he settled into the back seat with Daehan. The drive back to his temporary apartment was somehow quieter than their drive to the clinic, Mingyu didn't know how it was even possible. The trip seemed shorter as well because all too soon they were already back at the complex. Jeonghan cut the ignition and looked at the father and son through the rear view mirror. The brunette tapped his thumb against his steering wheel. He knew he shouldn't have given into temptation but he did it anyway.

"Did you want to come back to my place tonight?" Jeonghan finally asked.

"Please," Mingyu answered.

Jeonghan started the car once again and headed back toward his own apartment. He shouldn't have made the offer but he had a moment of weakness, he was only human. Even on the way up inside the elevator there was complete silence, even Daehan didn't make a peep. The five year old was perceptive. Jeonghan unlocked the door and stepped aside letting Mingyu and Daehan through before he shut the door and pressed himself against it. He watched Daehan squirm away from Mingyu and walk toward him. Jeonghan bent down, he scooped the five year old up and pressed their foreheads together, Daehan was still very warm.

"Are you feeling okay? Are you thirsty? Hungry?" Jeonghan asked.

"No," Daehan yawned rubbing his eyes.

"Do you need anything? Is your nose stuffy? Are you cold? Hot?" Jeonghan knew he sounded like an overbearing mother but he couldn't help it.

"Just sleepy," Daehan said with another yawn.

"Did you want me to tuck you in?" Jeonghan kissed the boy's temple.

"Yes," the boy's hands found their way into the brunette's hair.

"Alright," Jeonghan walked over to the spare bedroom.

He helped Daehan remove his jacket, shoes and socks before pulling back the comforter. Daehan settled right into the middle of the mattress and allowed Jeonghan to build a fort of pillows around his small frame before covering him with the comforter. The five year old stared at him for a moment as if waiting for something.

"What is it, little man?" Jeonghan asked as he touched Daehan's smaller hand.

"Am I allowed to stay here again? I don't want to go," Daehan held onto Jeonghan's pinky.

"I don't know, Daehan," Jeonghan admitted. "I don't know."

"I promise I'll be good," Daehan mumbled before his eyelids began to close.

"It's not you, little man," Jeonghan whispered. "It's me and your daddy who need to be good."

Jeonghan gave the five year old's forehead a final kiss before he closed the door. He walked back over to the sofa where Mingyu sat leaned against the backrest with his forearm draped over his eyes. The man looked so tired. Jeonghan walked over to the sofa and pried Mingyu's arm away, their eyes met. Mingyu swallowed.

"You okay?" Jeonghan asked.

"No," Mingyu answered. "Why do I keep screwing up, Jeonghan?"

"Mingyu-"

"I keep complaining about being unhappy yet every time something good happens I end up ruining it by being a fucking asshole!" Mingyu's eyes began to water out of sheer frustration. "I just want to be happy!"

"Stop being so hard on yourself, Mingyu!" Jeonghan shook his head at the taller man.

"Why do keep giving me chance after chance? Me being in this apartment right now is already too much, why do you keep letting me back in?" Tears fell freely down Mingyu's cheeks. "All I cause you is trouble, why don't you just let me go?"

"I can't let you go," Jeonghan shook his head. "I won't let you go."

"Why, Jeonghan?" Mingyu grabbed the brunette by the shoulders. "Why?"

"I need you," Jeonghan answered as his hand reached up to touch Mingyu's lips. "No matter how angry I get, the minute you leave I automatically feel like a piece of me is missing. This past week without you or Daehan has been one of the loneliest weeks I've ever had. The bed is too big without you, my mornings are too quiet without Daehan -- I miss sharing my life with you."

"I keep saying such terrible things to you, Jeonghan. I'm so bad for you," Mingyu leaned in their noses touched.

"I don't care," Jeonghan whispered.

The two stood chest to chest, Mingyu's arm circled around Jeonghan's waist. The smaller man felt so perfect in his arms.

"I'm sorry," both said in unison.

"Mingyu-" Jeonghan tried to speak but Mingyu's finger pressed against his lips.

"Don't apologise anymore, please listen to what I have to say," Mingyu said. "You were one hundred percent right about everything, every point you brought up was correct. I was being a total ass for arguing with you, I was in denial. I didn't want to hear the things I was doing wrong and I got angry because I was being confronted with the issue. I lashed out because I didn't want to admit that I was wrong. You didn't deserve to be treated like that I had no right to speak to you the way I did. All you tried to do was help my relationship with Daehan."

"Mingyu," Jeonghan whispered.

"All you've been doing is being considerate of me ever since we saw each other again so don't think for a second that you have to apologise," Mingyu touched Jeonghan's bottom lip with his thumb.

"You shouldn't be the one shouldering the blame either, we both let our emotions get the better of us," Jeonghan defended.

"Because of your advice I was able to talk to Daehan properly for the first time. I found out things about him that I wouldn't have known if it weren't for you bringing it to my attention. I found out he doesn't understand me when I speak to him using big words, I found out he doesn't like it when I don't say hello to him when I come home from work and that he wants me to read him a story before bed. They are all things I can fix now because of you."

"I still should've waited until you were settled in before I bombarded you with the issue," Jeonghan said.

"It was a valid issue, Jeonghan. Just now I reverted back to my old ways, I pushed Daehan away when he needed me. I neglected to listen to him and look what happened. Without you I don't think I can function, I can't do this alone, Jeonghan. I need you," Mingyu gave him a pleading look.

Jeonghan's mouth felt dry.

"I know with our clashing personalities we're never going to be that picturesque couple who never fight but I can confidently tell you that that doesn't bother me in the slightest. We hate as hard as we love and to me that's far from being a problem. Sure there are times where you drive me crazy but you bring me so much joy just sending me off to work in the morning."

"You mean that?" Jeonghan swallowed.

"I do, I mean every word of it. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions that day Jihoon came to see you. I'm still very...insecure about a lot of things after my marriage, Jeonghan. I was just so...so jealous that I just wanted to find someone to blame. I'm so sorry."

"I didn't react rationally either, Mingyu. I added fuel to the fire, it was immature of me," Jeonghan said. "So very immature."

"Please just give me this last chance to make things right," Mingyu traced the line of Jeonghan's jaw with his fingertip.

"You're okay with constantly having to pick up the clothes I scattered all over the bedroom? Waking me up every morning even though you have to get ready for work? Putting up with my childish teasing?" Jeonghan intertwined their fingers.

"Yes," Mingyu nodded.

"Pinky promise on it, no take-backs," Jeonghan held out his pinky finger.

"No take-backs," Mingyu repeated as he crossed his pinky with the brunette.

Jeonghan watched through half-closed lids as Mingyu leaned in close. The familiar feel of the man's warm breath tickling his chin was one of the things that forever reminded him of their very first kiss. Mingyu hesitated for a moment as if he wanted to say something.

"I was supposed to tell you this the day I saw you off at the airport but I didn't have the courage to," Mingyu brushed his lips against Jeonghan's.

"What was it?" Jeonghan asked.

"I love you," Mingyu said as he closed the remaining distance.

Jeonghan wanted to enjoy the kiss but instead he cried. Mingyu loved him. Him, the selfish asshole who ran away to a different country because he didn't want to deal with reality. The same selfish ass who pushed his way back into Mingyu's life and wrote himself into a narrative that wasn't his to be a part of. Jeonghan wrapped his arms around Mingyu's neck and leaned into the man's ear.

"Are you sure? You can't take back those words now, I won't let you," Jeonghan whispered between shaky breaths.

"I'm not taking it back," Mingyu assured.

"Positive?" Jeonghan watched Mingyu's hands pull his sweatshirt over his head, Jeonghan shivered as the cool air of the apartment caressed his bare chest.

"Positive," Mingyu's eyes travelled down the length of Jeonghan's bare torso before returning to meet the brunette's gaze.

Jeonghan ushered Mingyu back into the bedroom where he gave the taller man a final push against his chest. Mingyu landed on the mattress with a soft thud before Jeonghan straddled his hips. The brunette undid the buttons on his shirt one by one until his toned chest was on full display. Jeonghan licked his lips upon seeing the unblemished bronzed skin of Mingyu's torso. Without warning Jeonghan made quick work of Mingyu's trousers and yanked at the man's boxer briefs.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu whispered the brunette's name as Jeonghan wrapped his lips around his lover's length.

Jeonghan licked a line up the rigid member before looking up at Mingyu. The taller man's eyes were half-closed and he was starting to sweat. That was when Jeonghan went for it, he swallowed down the shaft of Mingyu's cock and chuckled when he heard Mingyu curse. Mingyu reached out and pulled Jeonghan up by his hips and Jeonghan in turn wrapped his legs around Mingyu's torso. The brunette moaned as Mingyu's tongue licked inside his ear before biting down on the delicate flesh of his earlobe -- the man knew his weakness all too well. Jeonghan pushed against his lover's chest once more keeping himself on top. He reached for the bottle of lube in his nightstand and promptly lathered up Mingyu's length as well as himself. Jeonghan knew he was being impatient and stupid but he didn't care, he didn't have time for the stretching and preparation bullshit. He positioned himself over Mingyu's cock and bit his lip as he slowly pushed himself down on the rigid length. The delicious burn and the feeling of being filled up by Mingyu made his knees weak. Jeonghan moaned when his ass came in contact with Mingyu's warm skin, he'd taken the man up until the hilt.

"This part of me definitely remembers you," Jeonghan licked Mingyu's lips as he gave the member a squeeze with his rear.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu hissed, his blunt nails dug into the skin of Jeonghan's hips.

The rough treatment only turned Jeonghan on further. He knew he was teasing Mingyu again but he just loved seeing the way the man's face contorted in arousal. Jeonghan didn't get the upper hand for long before Mingyu flipped them over and loomed over the brunette. Jeonghan gasped as Mingyu pinned his arms above his head while his cock began its slow rhythm. Jeonghan's breath hitched as Mingyu started licking and biting at his nipples, the contrast between the two sensations made his toes curl. Once Mingyu released his grip on his wrists Jeonghan tangled his hands in Mingyu's dark head of hair and pulled his face up for a kiss. As always Mingyu's temperature was always higher than his own, the man's tongue felt almost scalding as it teased his. Jeonghan dragged his nails up Mingyu's back and bit down on the crook of his neck as the taller man quickened his pace. Mingyu was relentless, he hit the spot inside of Jeonghan over and over while the brunette tried his best to suppress his moans -- he didn't want to wake up Daehan and he, for a sure fact, did not want the little boy walking in on what they were doing.

"The things you do to me," Mingyu breathed as he wrapped his fingers around Jeonghan's cock.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan gritted his teeth, Mingyu's palm was so hot against his shaft.

"Keep saying my name, Jeonghan," Mingyu urged. "Let me hear it come from your lips."

"Mingyu," Jeonghan repeated as the man in his arms circled his thumb over his sensitive tip.

"I'm right here," Mingyu gave Jeonghan's ear another nibble before he increased his pace a third time.

Jeonghan could feel his own climax build as Mingyu edged toward his final thrusts. He wrapped his legs tighter around Mingyu and watched his lover throw back his head as he came inside. Jeonghan felt himself being filled up, the sensation was overwhelmingly warm. Mingyu didn't pull back, he kept his position and fell on top of the brunette who kissed his forehead and pushed back the sweaty mess of hair that hung in his eyes.

"Relax, let me take care of everything for you," Jeonghan said. "You don't have to do a single thing."

Mingyu simply nodded as he listened to the steady beat of Jeonghan's heart. He let out a contented sigh as the brunette's fingers massaged his back until he gave into the allure of sleep. He wanted to savour the afterglow with Jeonghan but he just couldn't keep his eyes open. We wanted to fight the urge to sleep but quickly threw it aside, he now had Jeonghan all to himself -- this was only the start of their many nights together. He no longer had to worry. As much as he wanted to join Mingyu in slumber his mind wouldn't let him. He quickly crawled off the mattress and pulled the comforter over Mingyu. Jeonghan fumbled through the mess of discarded clothing on the ground and found his sweatpants before slipping them back on. He turned on his desk lamp and sat down before stretching his arms over his head. He grabbed a pencil and started doodling. Jeonghan smiled when the small sketch of a golden retriever came out looking more than half-decent. It had been a while but his hand still remembered.

Mango the golden retriever had been a character he created after Mingyu. Mingyu and Mango sounded rather similar but just different enough that it wasn't obvious -- it was a detail only he, Wonwoo and Soonyoung knew about. Though the character had been reoccurring during the early stages of his book series, Jeonghan had decided to cut the character out because it just felt like he was hanging onto the memories of Mingyu -- it didn't feel healthy. Jeonghan stared at the small doodle of the golden retriever and tapped his pencil against the paper. He looked out the doorway at Daehan's bedroom door and smiled before he went back to sketching. He drew a much smaller golden retriever beside his earlier sketch and set his pencil back down on his desk. Jeonghan covered his face with his hands, he was just so fucking happy. Just as he was about to join Mingyu back on the bed his phone vibrated from his nightstand. Jeonghan climbed back into his side of the bed and removed his phone from the cord. He immediately felt his smile fall from his face when he saw the reminder pop up on his screen. It was the anniversary of Junhui's passing.

"You're still up?" Mingyu's sleepy voice asked as he scooted over to Jeonghan.

"Yeah," Jeonghan answered as he stared at his phone.

"Something wrong?" Mingyu touched Jeonghan's elbow.

Mingyu pushed himself up and turned the brunette's hand over to look at his phone screen. He read the little notification and looked back up at Jeonghan's face. He touched Jeonghan's chin and directed the brunette's face over so they saw each other eye to eye.

"Do you have a tradition you do for Junhui every year? Is that why you've set up a reminder?" Mingyu asked.

"Yeah, I do," Jeonghan nodded. "But I don't have to, it's okay if I don't."

"No, let's do it together," Mingyu countered. "I don't mind. I really don't."

"I always visit the beach on the anniversary of his passing, doesn't matter which country. I always do," Jeonghan said.

"Then we'll go to the beach, all three of us," Mingyu brought Jeonghan's fingers to his lips.

"Are you sure?" Jeonghan still looked concerned.

"Yeah," Mingyu nodded. "I told you it wasn't taboo to mention his name and I should stick by what I said. I showed you a very ugly side of me that day I stormed out and I want to make it right. I'm sorry again for talking to you the way I did."

"Stop," Jeonghan placed a palm over Mingyu's mouth. "You came from an unhealthy relationship that ate at you emotionally, I don't want to hear any more apologies from you. I just want us to move forward and we're never going to move forward if we keep dwelling on things that have already happened."

"What time do you want to head for the beach?" Mingyu pulled Jeonghan's palm away.

"That's more like it," Jeonghan smiled.

"Ten o'clock?" Mingyu suggested.

"Eleven o'clock," Jeonghan countered.

"Ten o'clock," Mingyu pushed.

"Ten-thirty," Jeonghan bargained.

"Fine, ten-thirty," Mingyu gave in.

"Goodnight," Jeonghan slipped under the covers.

"Since we're both awake, you want to have another round?" Mingyu's hands found themselves back inside the waistband of Jeonghan's sweatpants.

"I wish I could but I have to wake up early tomorrow," Jeonghan yawned dramatically.

"Okay fine, we'll go at eleven," Mingyu sighed.

Jeonghan chuckled as Mingyu flung his sweatpants across the room.

Chapter Text

Soonyoung cut the uneven stems off the last small bunch of Baby's-breath and tied a string around the arrangement. He set it aside on his work bench and proceeded to make another bouquet only this time consisting of six sunflowers from his garden. He bound the six stems together with a piece of twine and attached a note to the bouquet despite knowing no one was ever going to read it. He, Jeonghan and Wonwoo had made it a tradition to pay their respects to Junhui every year since their friend's passing. It was a simple gesture but it was something that brought them together.

"Soonyoung, you ready to go?" Wonwoo shrugged on his coat.

"Yeah," Soonyoung nodded as he grabbed the two bouquets.

"Jeonghan said he'd meet us at Daecheon beach, he's going with Mingyu and Daehan," Wonwoo said looking down at his phone.

"He's taking Mingyu with him?" Soonyoung's eyebrows shot up into his forehead.

"I guess they finally made up," Wonwoo opened the door for his lover.

"I don't know, Wonwoo. This is a pretty big deal," Soonyoung said as they climbed into the car. "I don't think Jeonghan's ever let anyone tag along, it's always just been me, you and him."

"I think he's moving on," Wonwoo touched Soonyoung's hand as he reversed out of the driveway.

"You might be right," Soonyoung smiled as he cradled the two bouquets in his arms.

As they drove, Wonwoo would occasionally look over at his lover before turning his attention back to the road. The man definitely had something on his mind. With a deep inhale he opened his mouth.

"If anything were to ever happen to me do you think you'd remember me the way Jeonghan remembers Jun?" Wonwoo suddenly asked as they headed for the highway.

"Wonwoo," Soonyoung furrowed his brow.

"I know it's not a question you want to hear but what if?" Wonwoo glanced over at his lover. "What if we weren't able to be together, what would you do?"

"Me? What would I do?" Soonyoung repeated the question.

"Yes," Wonwoo swallowed, he kept his eyes on the road -- he didn't know why he was so nervous to hear the answer.

"I'd continue living," Soonyoung intertwined his fingers with Wonwoo. "I would live it to the fullest, I'd do all the things I wanted to do and be the happiest I can be till the day I die. So that I can tell you about all the wonderful things I've accomplished when we meet again on the other side. No matter what road I take, I'll always come back to you."

Wonwoo didn't make a peep. He pressed his lips into a thin line. Soonyoung's words hit him like a tonne of bricks. His heart felt so full, he couldn't imagine leading a life without Kwon Soonyoung. He really couldn't. If anything really were to happen to them, Wonwoo wanted Soonyoung to be the one to live on -- despite his cold facade, he was much weaker than his lover. He wouldn't survive a day without Kwon Soonyoung.

"I love you," Wonwoo said as he brought Soonyoung's hand to his lips.

"I love you more," Soonyoung replied as they continued their drive. "I'm your sunflower, remember? I'll always be looking for you."

"I won't ever forget," Wonwoo assured. "Never."

"Daehan be careful! You might fall in the sand!" Jeonghan shouted as he watched the five year old dash excitedly across the wide space.

Jeonghan bit his lower lip nervously as the curious little boy explored the wide open beach. Daehan was still very much sick which only made Jeonghan more worried. Just as he was about to follow the five year old, Mingyu caught him by the elbow. Jeonghan turned around and gave the taller man a confused look.

"Let him be, it's his first time at the beach," Mingyu wrapped his arms around Jeonghan's waist.

"What if he gets hurt?" Jeonghan squirmed.

"He'll be fine," Mingyu assured.

"Daehan's a little big for his age, isn't he? I noticed he was towering over all his other classmates when I picked him up from kindergarten," Jeonghan turned to look at Mingyu.

"He was a massive four point seven kilograms when he was born," Mingyu chuckled. "He was heavier than me by a good one hundred grams. He was the heaviest baby in the entire hospital."

"Your poor wife," Jeonghan mused but in all honesty he really did feel bad, he couldn't imagine having to give birth to such a large baby.

"Are you sure you want to keep us?" Mingyu reached up to touch Jeonghan's jaw.

"I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life," Jeonghan answered.

"We're both unbelievably needy," Mingyu whispered into Jeonghan's ear. "Me and Daehan need constant attention."

"I'm more than willing to give you that," Jeonghan leaned into Mingyu's chest.

"Hey, Jeonghan!" Soonyoung's voice made the two men turn around.

"Hey," Jeonghan smiled as Soonyoung trudged across the sand.

"Baby's-breaths, just as requested," Soonyoung handed Jeonghan one of the bouquets.

"Thank you, I know they aren't easy to find this time of year," Jeonghan said as he looked down at the delicate little buds.

"It's fine, it was a small request. You rarely ever ask me for anything," Soonyoung said as his eyes wandered over to Daehan who was collecting shells by the sand.

"I think this might be the last time I do this," Jeonghan kept his eyes on the bouquet.

"Are you sure?" Mingyu chimed in hearing the brunette's words.

"Yeah, I don't think Jun's going to be able to rest in peace if I keep trying to hold onto him like this," Jeonghan nodded.

"I'll go find Wonwoo, it'll give you guys some space," Soonyoung sauntered away to find his lover.

"You really don't have to stop this tradition just because of me, you know," Mingyu insisted as they moved closer to the water.

"I think it needs to be done, I'm never going to be happy if I don't move on," Jeonghan said as he pulled a pen and tattered piece of paper out of his pocket.

Jeonghan unfolded the paper and smiled. He looked down at Junhui's bucket list, originally he'd thought he'd accomplished everything listed but he'd come to a realisation that morning. He'd completed all but one, the very last dot point that Junhui had originally crossed off himself.

"Fall in love," Jeonghan muttered.

Jeonghan did not doubt for a fact that the feeling he had toward Junhui was love, that would forever remain unchanged but now he had Mingyu. Junhui might've been his first but Mingyu was his last. Jeonghan looked up at Mingyu before he uncapped the pen in his hand and drew a line across the last dot point, right over Junhui's. He couldn't explain it but it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He stood taller, felt lighter and it just felt...right.

"Thank you for offering me shelter that one day in winter," Mingyu said as they looked at each other. "Without that slice of blueberry cheesecake and warm milk, we wouldn't be where we are right now."

"Thank you for taking me back despite everything," Jeonghan sniffed, he was getting emotional.

"We were young, we didn't know anything," Mingyu argued. "Stop blaming yourself for things we did as teenagers."

"I wish I could promise you that I'll change but we both know that would be a lie," Jeonghan chuckled.

"I don't want you to change, I want you as you are," Mingyu said. "Let's continue being ourselves, I've spent the past six years playing a role I never wanted, I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy let alone someone I love as dearly as you."

"I forgot to say something to you yesterday," Jeonghan placed his hands on Mingyu's chest.

"What was it?" Mingyu's eyes searched Jeonghan's.

"I love you too," Jeonghan whispered against the seam of Mingyu's lips and bent forward for a kiss.

Jeonghan felt the taller man's hand at the back of his neck prolonging their intimate little moment. As they pulled apart Jeonghan gave the tip of Mingyu's nose a peck before walking up to the water. He held out the bouquet in his hands and flung it into the crashing waves.

"I'll always love you," Jeonghan felt a tear escape the corner of his eye as he watched the flowers float away. "Goodbye, Wen Junhui."

He felt light, weightless as if he was floating away. At that moment he opened his eyes, it was as if he'd slept for a million years. His eyelids were almost too heavy to keep open, well, they were until he caught a glimpse of Jeonghan for the first time since they'd parted ways. The man looked so beautiful, right, Jeonghan was no longer the boy who used to live down the road -- he'd grown up. Junhui raised his hands up and gasped, he could see right through his palms, then it came to him...he wasn't among the living. He'd drowned, he'd been taken down into the dark depths of the ocean.

He tried calling out to the man he loved but to no avail, Jeonghan couldn't hear him. He started to panic as he continued to float away, he didn't want to go. He wanted to stay, Jeonghan needed him -- who else would keep him warm during the winter months? Junhui clawed at the air, he screamed and shouted as he reached for Jeonghan but the brunette still couldn't hear him. That was when he saw Mingyu. His former teammate circled his arms around Jeonghan's waist and placed a delicate kiss on the brunette's temple. Junhui scowled as he watched their intimate moment, he felt his heart sink.

Junhui's eyes moved back over to Jeonghan who was smiling ear to ear, ah that's right, he was only there to protect the man until he found someone else who could take his place. That day had come, it had finally come. Junhui placed a hand over his heart, he stopped fighting the pull. He felt tears streaking his cheeks as he smiled down at his first love. Jeonghan no longer needed him, he needed to let go. As he felt himself fade, Junhui's eyes met with a young boy who stared directly at him from the edge of the water. The boy shared a striking resemblance to Mingyu. Junhui smiled at the little boy before making a final request.

"Tell Jeonghan that Junhui loves him," Junhui said as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to be carried away. "Please, tell him I love him."

Daehan stared at the strange sight in silence. The little boy gave a determined nod as ran across the sand and tugged at Jeonghan's coat frantically trying to get the man's attention. Jeonghan lifted the boy up and cocked his head.

"Something wrong, little man?"

"The man in the sky!" Daehan pointed at the clouds.

"Man in the sky?" Jeonghan looked up at the sky with a look of confusion.

"Yeah," Daehan nodded. "He spoke to me."

"What did he say?" Jeonghan played along, kids really did have crazy imaginations.

"He said he loved you," Daehan said.

"Who?" Jeonghan felt his breath hitch.

"Junhui! He told me to tell you," Daehan said before frowning, the boy's pudgy hands touched Jeonghan's face. "Are you okay? Why are you crying, Jeonghan-hyung?"

"I'm fine," Jeonghan shook his head reassuring the five year old. "I've never been better."

"You ready to head home?" Mingyu wrapped an arm around Jeonghan's shoulders.

"Yeah," Jeonghan smiled as he looked at the small patch of sun that peeked through the blanket of grey clouds. "Let's go home."

TWELVE YEARS LATER

"Daehan! Your train's coming in ten minutes! You're going to miss it!" Jeonghan called from the bottom of the staircase.

"I'm coming!" Daehan's low voice called back.

Jeonghan smiled, the boy sounded just like Mingyu when he was seventeen, it was low and gruff with a hint boyishness left over from childhood.

The brunette tied an apron around his waist as he walked over to the espresso machine and frothed up some milk under the steam wand before pouring the contents into two paper cups with hot chocolate powder. He tossed in a handful of small marshmallows for both before putting a lid over the steaming cups. Jeonghan quickly ran back to the kitchen when he heard the familiar 'ding' of the oven and took out the tray holding two slices of cinnamon toast. He wrapped the toasted bread into napkins and brought it over to the hot chocolates.

"Jeonghan, have you seen my blue towel anywhere?" Mingyu's voice asked as he emerged from upstairs.

"It's around your neck," Jeonghan said as Mingyu came over and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"I swear it wasn't there a minute ago," Mingyu's brow furrowed as he looked at the piece of blue fabric.

"What time are you coming back today?" Jeonghan asked as he watched Mingyu stash his towel inside his large black gym bag.

"Maybe around seven o'clock, lots of kids signed up for swimming lessons this summer," Mingyu answered as he grabbed one of the hot chocolates and toast.

"Hani-appa! I lost my goggles!" A rather tall seventeen year old Daehan came down the stairs, his slipper clad feet shuffled on the hardwood floors.

"Around your neck, sweetheart," Jeonghan pointed with an amused grin.

"Ah," Daehan laughed sheepishly as he removed them from around his neck, he really was a clone of his father.

Jeonghan watched while his son slipped on his shoes haphazardly as he approached the front door, his free hand grabbing his hot chocolate and toast. Jeonghan smiled, it was hard to believe the small boy now towered over both him and Mingyu. The boy's growth was expected but Jeonghan didn't think it would be so drastic. Like Mingyu, Daehan loved swimming and also like Mingyu the boy wasn't very good at manoeuvring his long limbs on land but he was a force to be reckoned with in the water. Despite the physical changes, Daehan was still the sweet little boy who thought potatoes grew on trees -- yes, Daehan was a special little thing.

"I'm leaving now," Daehan bent down and stuck out his cheek.

"Don't you think you're a little old now to be getting kisses from me?" Jeonghan asked.

"Nope," Daehan smiled, his sharp canines in full view.

"Bye, sweetheart," Jeonghan gave the boy's sun-kissed cheek a peck.

"See ya, old man!" Daehan threw over his shoulder at Mingyu as he ran down the road to the train station.

"That cheeky little-"

"Stop," Jeonghan smacked Mingyu's chest playfully as they watched their son run down the street.

"I feel like he loves you more than he loves me," Mingyu pouted.

"Don't worry, I don't play favourites," Jeonghan smiled as he wrapped his arms around Mingyu's neck.

"Do I get a kiss before I go as well?" Mingyu cocked a brow.

"Have you ever left without one?" Jeonghan challenged as he got on his tiptoes and sealed their lips.

"Get a room!" Wonwoo's low voice shouted.

The couple turned around to see an unamused Jeon Wonwoo walking with Soonyoung on the sidewalk.

"Sorry, he hasn't had his morning coffee yet!" Soonyoung waved his hand as he and Wonwoo walked back to the flower shop.

"Bye," Mingyu turned his attention back to Jeonghan.

"Bye," Jeonghan replied as he watched his lover climb into his car.

He stood on the patio and watched the car turn a corner before returning back inside Cafe Serenity. He returned to his spot behind the coffee counter and leaned against the back wall. If someone were to tell Jeonghan that he'd one day take over his parents' cafe, he would've scoffed and told them that was nonsense. He'd loved writing but the life of a writer was just so...bland. He missed socialising, he missed meeting new people so when the opportunity arose, he'd taken it. His parents got to retire knowing their business was in good hands and Jeonghan in turn got to do what he loved -- even more so than writing.

It had taken a lot of convincing on Jeonghan's part to get Mingyu to quit his office job. They'd fought...a lot but in the end Mingyu agreed and pursued something he actually wanted and a junior swimming coach met every requirement, sure Mingyu's salary wasn't as high as it used to be but Jeonghan didn't mind in the slightest -- his lover was happy. Jeonghan went and frothed up another small jug of milk under the steam wand and poured the contents into a mug. He blew on the surface of the hot liquid and took a sip as he looked around at the cafe, the small glass vases on each table was occupied by small bundles of Baby's-breath.

Jeonghan smiled as he continued to enjoy his warm cup of milk.