1 - 20 of 92 Works in Snarky Harry Potter

Pages Navigation

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    “No post on Sundays” Uncle Vernon announced happily, “No damn letters today-”
    Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. The next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets.
    “That does it!” he snapped, his beady little eyes focused solely on Harry, “It’s you that they want. And they won’t stop coming after us until you’re… gone”.
    Harry didn't like the sound of that.
    “But Vernon, we can’t! You heard what that- that despicable old man told us!”
    “Don’t worry, pet” Vernon said, his nasty grin triumphant, “I’ll leave him someplace so far away that those freaks will never trace him back to us. There’s an institute up north, for these- these hopeless cases and whatnot - St Brutus's Secure Centre for Boys. I’ll leave him there, and then we can get back to our nice, normal life”.

    Or, the one where Harry doesn't attend Hogwarts in first year but finds his way to the wizarding world anyway, and this changes everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    201,560
    Chapters:
    35/?
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    2,339
    Kudos:
    5,004
    Bookmarks:
    1,474
    Hits:
    138,402
  2. Tags
    Summary

    When a secret potions lab sealed since Slytherin’s time is unearthed beneath Hogwarts, Hermione Granger and Severus Snape are called in to unlock its mysteries. What begins as a tense collaboration soon becomes a dangerous battle of pleasure and wits as the room’s ancient magic traps them inside. Forced to work together to complete volatile potions left as a twisted test by Slytherin himself, Hermione and Snape find themselves confronting more than just Slytherin’s legacy—they must also face the simmering tension and undeniable chemistry growing between them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,850
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    270
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    3,041
  3. Tags
    Summary

    I hate writing summaries. Just fucking read it. 😈

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,231
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    523
  4. Tags
    Summary

    When Harry Potter had an eleventh birthday and officially re‐entered the wizarding world, every wixen in England was overjoyed, of course.

    But also, admittedly ...confused.

    Because Harry was supposed to be the "Boy‐Who‐Lived" wasn't he? ...Or was it she? He? She? No- er, wait-- blimey, it's just impossible to tell!

    -
    A.K.A., Harry grows up with a deep love for all things pretty, which changes both far more... and far, far less about the story than you would expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,382
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    777
  5. Tags
    Summary

    How ironic it is that what one person desires can become another's burden.

    After their initial meeting, Dumbledore understood that Voldemort would attempt to uncover Fushi's secret to immortality. As a result of their agreement, Fushi would attend Hogwarts to study magic. The question now is, how will Fushi manage to survive the third year with a serial killer on the loose?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,317
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    159
  6. Tags
    Summary

    This is a snapshot of a series I'm thinking of writing, if this gets any interest.

    Harry has been a Wayne for two years now, and that comes with some perks. He gets to go home to Gotham on the weekends, he's been training with them every holiday and weekend, and now he's got adult back-up when the wizarding adults in his life fail him.

    So how will he react after his first detention with Umbridge?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,520
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    624
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Luna finds something, or rather someone she maybe shouldn’t have in the Department of Mysteries. When she and Harry are inexplicably given a chance to redo the year, they decide to take their lives into their own hands. Fixing old mistakes and making new ones, the occupants of Hogwarts are not prepared for this dynamic duo nor all their little, and not so little, friends.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    110,708
    Chapters:
    35/?
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    1,311
    Kudos:
    3,470
    Bookmarks:
    1,431
    Hits:
    127,664
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Harriet knew that this summer was going to be hell the minute she left the platform and saw the Dursley's gleeful expressions. Harriet later would curse potter luck, the universe and all the deity's she could think of for being right as she falls off the cliff into the ocean below.

    Someone else please write this I have no clue what I'm doing T-T.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,150
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    4,812
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter has always been self-sufficient. From building an A.I. to help him figure out why the Wixen world was so insane, to his yearly adventures fighting against Dark Lords and insidious plots, the boy-who-lived was used to getting back with a bit of help from friends and a lot of help from his own intelligence and ingenuity. Now, he finds himself facing a battle that he can't just outwit.

    Coming face-to-face with his alive fathers'.

    One is a Superhero who is trying to wrap his head around the fact that he is now a dad.

    The other is a God who is giving a go at a redemption arc to prove he is worthy of his son's love.

    Both know nothing about parenting, let alone when their kid is a magically and scientifically gifted child with enough trauma to fill a dumpster and enough power to shape the fabric of reality.

    Join Harry, Tony, Loki, and a blended cast of characters for both fandoms as they navigate each other's lives and try to survive the dark days that are heading towards them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    242,733
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    620
    Kudos:
    2,719
    Bookmarks:
    1,067
    Hits:
    133,185
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Draco Malfoy is not an owl, really he isn’t. He simply assumes the shape of one on occasion when he wants to find a bit of privacy—a goal entirely thwarted because Harry Potter doesn’t understand you can’t just grab any old bird from the Owlery and force it to send your missives and deliver your packages.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,459
  11. Tags
    Summary

    It’s hard for me to talk about this. My time at Hogwarts is something I can’t help but cherish, but those last two years were really rough for me. For all of us. Your mother doesn’t want me to write this. I hope you understand her. The war took a lot from her, and she just wants you to remain untouched by it.

    It’s important you know: no one will be able to read this. By the time this book reaches your hands, I’ll have charmed it a hundred times over so that no one else can even glimpse a single word. And even if they could, it wouldn’t matter. No one person could read this and understand it in the way that you will.

    This is for your eyes only.

    WBWL SIXTH YEAR AU

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,200
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2,058
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Harriet's eyes darted around the graveyard, seeking some escape from the oppressive aura of Voldemort’s presence. "You’re mad," she said, her voice barely audible. "You think you can just... take me back?"

    A sinister laugh escaped Voldemort’s lips, a sound devoid of mirth. "Mad? Perhaps. But madness is a luxury of the unburdened. I am bound by the necessity of reclaiming what is mine."

    --------------------------------------
    In a dark twist of fate, Harriet Potter recieves an unsettling truth in a graveyard duel with Voldemort. The dark wizard reveals a deeply unsettling bond: Harriet is an unintended horcrux, a fragment of Voldemort’s soul residing within her. This connection ignites a dark obsession within him, transforming his quest for domination into a personal fixation.
    --------------------------------------
    Let's get started.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,845
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    89
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    2,708
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Preschool teacher Harry Potter receives a donation from Riddle Technologies. He meets Tom Riddle, CEO, and Riddle may just find himself smitten with Harry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,448
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    268
    Kudos:
    2,058
    Bookmarks:
    503
    Hits:
    42,778
  14. Tags
    Summary

    or: The Art of Identifying the Things which No Longer Serve You

     

    When Uncle Vernon stops for petrol in some town called Cokeworth on their way back from a forced-upon-Harry trip to Aunt Marge's farm, Harry decides to indulge himself in some fresh air while Dudley bullies his parents for more snacks for the road.

    His peace and quiet get quickly interrupted, however, by a strange man with a basket full of violets attached to his bike and way too much interest in every single secret Harry has ever held dear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,025
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    312
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    1,577
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Creating horcruxes is a tricky business.

    So… what happens when it gets screwed up? What if the soul shard was left unprotected or—even worse—attached to another soul? Well, it wouldn’t be good for the horcrux, that’s for sure. And god only knows what it’d do to the other soul…

    Harry Potter grows up in an abusive home while also dealing with a Shadowy Voice in his mind. What does that sort of thing do to a child? Will he ignore his Other Voice and join forces with his long-lost twin brother, the so-called ‘Boy-Who-Lived,’ as heirs apparent to the Light? Or will he succumb to the voice in his head, and begin following the path of Darkness?

    Or maybe he’ll choose something different. Can Harry maintain his fundamental goodness while traveling a journey full of theft, Unforgivables, murder, and mayhem?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    198,951
    Chapters:
    30/?
    Comments:
    991
    Kudos:
    1,403
    Bookmarks:
    475
    Hits:
    66,350
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Harry jako pięciolatek życzy sobie bardzo mocno, by cofnąć czas. Magia spełnia to życzenie trochę zbyt dobrze.
    Harry i James to bracia. Świat czarodziejów wkracza powoli w wojnę, a Harry próbuje zabić zauroczenie pewnym Ślizgonem.

    Language:
    Polski
    Words:
    73,245
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1,975
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand.” -- Mother Teresa

    Draco cannot seem to get a certain image of Hermione Granger out of his head, which has made working with her a challenge. With his new obsession affecting his ability to focus, he decides to try to woo the troublesome witch and rid himself of his infatuation altogether. But, how is he supposed to court a witch who doesn't like flowers?

    Or...

    Draco tries to woo Hermione with Fruit -- and it's effective.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,088
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    399
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    12,292
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Lily Evans-Potter had a secret that changed the course of everything.
    Due to this secret Harry Potter disappears from his muggle family when he is only eight years old, changing the course of the future and a prophecy shatters into dust.
    Lord Voldemort is able to rise to power sooner and the Wizarding World is on the verge of collapse. The Order of Phoenix has to find allies to help them win this war before Lord Voldemort takes over.
    But what they find inside the Court of the Unseelie Fae could be their salvation or their doom.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,811
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    436
    Bookmarks:
    148
    Hits:
    4,847
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Hogwarts Third Year, Harry Potter is walking to visit Hagrid but finds a crying Millicent Bulstrode on the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    516
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    147
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Draco and Potter bump into each other, and, well, Potter seems to take it upon himself to start following Draco around everywhere. Even inviting himself into Draco’s house uninvited. Why? Both Harry and Draco do not know.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,452
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,014

Filters

Filter results:
Submit

Include

?
Include Ratings
Include Warnings
Include Categories
Include Fandoms
Include Characters
Include Relationships
Include Additional Tags

Exclude

?
Exclude Ratings
Exclude Warnings
Exclude Categories
Exclude Fandoms
Exclude Characters
Exclude Relationships
Exclude Additional Tags

More Options

Crossovers
Completion Status
Word Count
Date Updated
Submit

Clear Filters

Pages Navigation