Fic for Dean's Birthday
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The kitchen isn’t stocked as well as it should be, and Dean curses himself for being so careless. He used to know no greater guilt than when Sam came to him, hungry, and Dean had nothing to give him. What if they run out of food? What if something happens and they’re stuck down here with only the stuff in the kitchen and the little Dean has saved and hidden for emergencies? It wouldn’t be enough, not even for one of them.
Dean has to lean against the counter and count until ten a couple times. It’s okay, it’s okay. He can still fix this.
Series
- Part 1 of Fic for Dean's Birthday
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and the cave that is therein by KelpietheThundergod for deathswaywardson
Fandoms: Supernatural
24 Jan 2020
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It feels kind of unfair to Sam, for Dean to be sitting here rubbing elbows with Cas when Eileen’s just left. Not that Dean doesn’t think she’ll be back—the girl’s tough as nails. It sucks, though. Dean likes her, and she makes Sam happy.
Dean can’t make himself leave though. Maybe it’s selfish—and stupid; he’s exhausted and could use the sleep. But Cas hasn’t left his side in hours, and Dean’s a greedy creature. Even when they’re right next to each other like this there’s an ache. Like Dean is still missing Cas. Like it just ain’t close enough.
Series
- Part 2 of Fic for Dean's Birthday
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They soak for long enough that Dean actually falls into a light doze. It’s nice to just enjoy the water and the quiet for a while. It’s only been a handful of days, but Castiel has missed holding Dean like this and being close to him. His warmth and the beat of his heart are grounding, anchoring, and to Castiel it will always be special to know him this intimately.
- A short story written for Dean's birthday and set in the universe of my dcbb About Five Times The Distance
EDIT July 2020 NOW WITH FANART :D !!!
Series
- Part 2 of About Five Times The Distance
- Part 3 of Fic for Dean's Birthday
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Summary
It’s okay during the day—well no, it’s not okay. Sam will clap Dean on the back or shoulder, Jack will brush against his arm when they’re standing side by side at the stove. And what used to feel so normal—good even—will feel like too much to handle.
Eileen and Sam will hold hands or give each other cheek kisses, and Dean will have to bear feeling so happy for his brother and yet so jealous at the same time. That’s just it, during the day, Dean’s distracted and has reason to keep a tight lid on his crap. But at night—
He keeps himself awake until he absolutely can’t keep his eyes open anymore. Then he lies alone in his bed in the dark, and the monster comes—like a hermit crab, it tries to claw its way out of its shell, out of him. It knows nothing but want, and fear of what it wants.
Unable to stand it, Dean’s fingers will curl into the sheets and his heart will race and his throat will feel like there’s a scream lodged in it. Not even his old trick with the hot water bottle can lull his body into believing it's not alone. It’s not working anymore, not since his body got a taste of the real deal. Not since he’s been hugged and kissed and his hand has been held.
Series
- Part 4 of Fic for Dean's Birthday