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Strange Aeons

@sindri42 / sindri42.tumblr.com

[Old description was painful to read; new one may or may not be written eventually]
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foone

If I got turned into a slime girl and I still had bones inside the slime I would walk into heaven and stab God in the face

The thing they don't tell you about becoming a slimegirl is that you have to pull out your own bones. One by one, like baby teeth*.

The slime HRT loosens your ligaments and tendons (which are slowly turning to slimegoo), and the bones remain. It's something chemistry related to do with how slimegirls are silicon-based and bones are calcium-based, so the bones don't slimeify like the rest of your body.

Keratin converts like most parts of your body, so your nails and hair melts into your general goo body, but bones remain, as intrusions in your increasingly undifferentiated flesh. What's worse, slime goo is the same all the way through: you can feel on the inside just as well as the outside. So you feel all your bones, constantly, like a blister in your mouth back when you were biology and not slime (some of us have been feeling our bones since we were born, which is why we're on slime HRT).

So you pull them out. You reach inside yourself and grab hold, and pull. Your goo holds it in, as it clings to the porous bone surface (and slimegirl bones only get more porous, as the goo tries and fails to break down the bone). Slimeified tendons stretch and eventually break, and finally the bone pulls free, dripping with bits of your go. The experience is somewhere between excruciating and orgasmic, in different amounts.

But you have to do it bone by bone by bone. 206 bones. It takes a while. Your body slimifies at different rates, so you have to keep pulling on different bones to see if they're loose enough to come out yet.

A mature slime girl could just filter herself through a fine mesh or screen and leave the bones behind, but by definition a slime girl with bones isn't yet mature. Being able to liquefy to that degree takes time to learn, and a key step on that journey is removing your bones. Your viscosity and density is controlled by your mind, but having your bones still in you keeps you from fully going liquid. Some slimegirls even temporarily lose all cohesion when they finally pull their final bone, as they realize they're no longer human, and no longer biology. Usually they manage to pull themselves together within a few hours, so it's recommended to let him stay that way unless they're in some immediate danger. It helps them adapt to their new form, psychologically.

BTW people sometimes ask questions about why slimegirls can't digest their own bones, when they can clearly (no pun intended) digest other bones: We've all seen a slimegirl eat a chicken whole.

First of all, this is an offensive question. Every slimegirl transitions at her own speed, don't rush them!

But the technical reason is because of the immune system. Parts of it remain active and get incorporated into your morphogenic matrix, and they recognize your own body as "you". So the crepulius filaments don't try to break them down into digestible particles, like they do with other bezoars.

Slimegirls often get help removing some of the larger bones. Femurs, for example, are very difficult to remove on your own.

The skull usually goes last. Once the slimeification process is complete, your skull is protecting nothing, just more slime. Slime girls don't have brains (no jokes please, it's juvenile), every cell contributes equally to cognition. Your skull pulls free with a loud sucking sound, and the last bits of your former body pours out the eyeholes and rejoins your new form.

Many slimegirls keep their skull around as a memento of their former self. Even more of them crush it as soon as they can. Good riddance to being a solid. You're free, in a way that someone trapped in a flesh body could never be. And you're never going back.

* unfun fact about baby teeth: they loosen and fall out because of the adult tooth behind them pushing them out. If you have no adult tooth back there, or too many adult teeth behind them, you can keep your baby tooth for a very long time. I had one of mine until I was in my 30s.

This is somewhere between body horror and pornography for me. Thanks.

Thank you, that was exactly the tone I was aiming for.

@foone is the process the same for Slime boys?

Oh yes. "slime girl" is just the species name, like catgirls and ladybugs. You can be a boy slime girl, or just a "boy slime", or a slime boy, how ever you prefer to be addressed.

Slimes don't have biological sex anyway (they can't, they don't have biology) but slimes have gender, since they're, you know, people. Not humans, not animals, but still people.

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tumblr staff finding out their site has crowdsourced a viral song, only to discover it is 100% unusable in any corporate marketing scenario

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chaser

Australian music industry: "God we wish local music was more popular"

Monkey paw: *curls*

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lizawithazed

the best part is a whole bunch of artists took him up on it so there’s just an entire thread of Grunkle Stan face-punching nazis and it’s beautiful

Unrelated, but entirely needed.

My friend @curzec got hers signed by Alex not too long ago!

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curzec

Sure did! Here’s the saga

Original drawing

Redrawn version signed!

MIGHT I ADD THAT THE PINES FAMILY IS CANONICALLY JEWISH!!! YOU PUNCH THAT NAZI STAN YOU PUNCH HIM RIGHT IN HIS UGLY FACE

Love Alex Hirsch

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In the 30s we figure out general relativity. It wasn’t until the 60s we realised plate tectonics.

We didn’t figure out that fungi weren’t plants, but instead their own separate kingdom until 1969, aka the same year we sent people to the moon

True. People please reblog with more examples.

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mobpsycho100

THEY HAVE GUNS IN JJBA??? I THOUGHT THEY JUST HAD MAGIC SHOUNEN POWERS TF NOBODY TOLD ME THEY HAD GUNS

sex pistols.

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neoflect

jude is wrong. his magic shounen power is not a gun. its literally a normal gun that you can buy anywhere. the bullets are also normal bullets. his magic shounen power is sex pistols which are the small bullet shaped people who shoot his bullets for him. youre thinking of hol horse, who is a different jojo character, whose magic shounen power is a gun.

the more i learn the less i understand

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sindri42

I dunno I think that Hol Horse is a pretty straightforward character once you realize he's an american in an anime

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devilcroc

the biggest questions detective pikachu answered

no one but professional trainers has a full team of 6 in the pokemon universe because it would be a fucking gigantic hassle to deal with 6 animals, let alone different types that need different things

some people don’t evolve their pokemon because imagine having a fucking cat and then you can choose to make the cat five times as big and strong. would you do this if you weren’t battling.

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sindri42

Technically if your cat isn’t battling it doesn’t evolve.

That does however give cat owners a strong incentive to not let their cat outside, because realistically any cat that is allowed to roam free is gonna rack up exp until it evolves.

I let my litten out one day and a week later incineroar rips my door off and demands wet food only

Caring for this incineroar for three days before my litten shows up. Who the fuck is this then?

this is the funniest addition anyone’s ever made to this post

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Update! Luigi's Attorney Dickey confirms that his "outburst" where he tells the cameras that this is unjust, was because he was never read his miranda rights and was under the impression at that time that he was being denied the right to a fair trial, an attorney, or any legal representation.

He is angry and terrified in that footage because they have failed to follow basic procedure to inform him that he has any rights at all. This is a major red flag of police corruption. This is UNACCEPTABLE and further means any interrogation they did of him is unlawful, and inadmissible in court.

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hollow-head

i invented a goth mermaid but i dont have a name for her yet

I'm glad you like goth mermaid. I decided her name is Obelia, which is the name of a sea creature that also sounds like a girl's name; derived from a word meaning basically 'spike;' close to Ophelia, which is a sort of goth name; and close to Oblina, who is one of my favorite cartoon characters. also forgot to mention she's a puffer fish and gets big and spiky when she's scared

(shoutout to @ingridverse for suggesting Bewariel. That is very funny and made me laugh.)

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ironlily-art

The Swiss have loved all-in-one blades since at least the 15th century.

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