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Shitpost Extraordinaire

@reashot

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To celebrate my mother day's Fic for reaching 100 likes and reblog. I can finally show y'all what the Arc kids are supposed to look like and who they are for the sequel:

Dusk Belladonna

Gender:♀️

Age: 10.

Semblance: Invisibility (she can made her self invisible for few seconds.)

Weapon: N/A. (She doesn't have or want one.)

Favorite foods: Anything with fish but prefers Tuna.

Likes: Mommy, Daddy, Being alone.

Dislikes: Dogs, crowds, stranger.

Character Desc:

Dusk Belladonna is the daughter Blake and Jaune which means she is also the daughter of both human and Faunus. In her timeline Human and Faunus achieved true equality and mutual respect with one another. It was not easy and although Dusk herself does not know the sacrifice needed to achieve it, even she knows that it's something to be cherished and protected. Quiet, reserved and preferring the company of close associates. She is still expected to one day lead Menagerie and all of Faunuskind. A decision that she is also unaware of. But her parents are against it. Instead wanting her to enjoy her childhood for as long as she can before the fated day.

Scarlett Rose-Arc.

Gender: ♀️

Age: 17.

Semblance: Petal Storm. (An upgraded form of Ruby's Semblance.)

Weapon: Crescent Rose MK. 20. (A.K.A. the Geneva Violator.)

Favorite foods: Strawberry Shortcake.

Likes: Spending time with family, weapons, fighting.

Dislikes: Bully, Bugs, Rainy day.

Character Desc:

Scarlett like Ruby is both a powerful fighter and a genius weapon inventor. Her weapon is the Crescent Rose MK. 20. A Scythe, Voulge, grenade launcher, assault riffle and sniper rifle combination weapon. In practice such a weapon should not be able to work but she and Ruby managed to made it work. This essentially turns her into a one woman army. But even though she’s a formidable warrior she still not yet able to beat her older brother Vermillion in a fight. Something which annoys her.

Victor Arc (formerly a Schnee)

Gender: ♂️

Age: 20.

Semblance: Glyph. (Has been shown able to summon a small army worth of Grimm.)

Weapon: Myrtenaster,

Favorite Foods: Sushi.

Likes: Seeing her mother dead, his little sister, cute things. (In that order.)

Dislikes: His mother, Atlas, Incompetent people. (himself)

Character Desc:

Victor Schnee or now known as Victor Arc was once a former Scion of the Schnee Household. Is the son of Jaune Arc and although he hates to admit it, he is also the son of Weiss Schnee. In his timeline the world is broken in every sense of the word. In his world. War has engulfed Remnant. And the scale of destruction is beyond comprehension. Continents shattered, sea boiled over, even the very air turned against you, All courtesy of the Superweapon created by the SDC. Of course many tried to stop the war from happening and all failed, Even Jaune Schnee died trying to stop it. His dead however is proven to be the catalyst for the tragedy. After his death something broke inside of Weiss. Despaired and Enraged by her husband’s death. Weiss reorganized the Kingdom of Atlas into the Atlesian Empire and declared war on everyone. With Victor serving as her right hand man. Working under her Victor is responsible for many of the Empire’s victory and her atrocity. He himself is directly responsible for numerous warcrimes and even genocide against the Faunus. Victor is also credited for killing Ruby Rose and for capturing Blake. Back home in Atlas he was hailed as hero for this feats. It’s only until much later that he regretted his action. And came to hate his own mother so far as to wanting her dead. While she's the one that broke the world, he still blame himself for helping her doing it.

Aurum Arc

Gender: ♂️

Age: 30-40.

Semblance: Ignite. (He is able to heat up the surface of any object he touch. If you seen the hot knife video on YouTube it’s pretty much like that.)

Weapon: Prominence Flame. (A Greatsword of the big-ass variety.)

Favorite foods: Homecooked meal. (he ain’t picky.)

Likes: Justice, protecting innocents, helping people.

Dislikes: Injustice, Villain, Laziness.

Character Desc:

As the oldest of the 12 sibling, Aurum is also born the weakest among his siblings. Born prematurely many did not expect him to survive childhood. But he refused to give up. Motivated by stories of warriors of old and the story of his father. He continues pushing his limit. And to the surprise of everyone he not only survive past childhood but he actually starts growing taller and stronger compared to other children his age. So strong in fact that in the age of 15 he managed to kill a Dragon Grimm. By the age of 17 he joined the Arc Knights. And in the age 20 rose through the rank and become the youngest captain of the group. A rank that he still hold to this day. Despite his achievement however he still found himself lacking behind his father and he made a promise that he will surpass the Grandmaster, Jaune Arc himself.

Vermillion Rose-Arc.

???

Scarlett's older brother will finally make his true debut in the next fic. So till then just wait my lovely readers. You will be mildly surprised.

And if there's anything you want to ask just leave a message, I'll try to answer it as best as I can.

And do tell me which one is your favorite?

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Showerus Interuptus 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🚿

Pyrrha: Ruby. Stay away from my man!

Ruby: But Jaune and I are just friend. 😋

Pyrrha: I saw you two showering together... What kind of friend does that?!

Ruby: We're just saving water. And I don't see Jaune like you do. We're just good friends that's all. Honest. 😊

Pyrrha: What kind of friend. Rubs their naked bodies together in the shower as waters travel down their bodies.

Ruby: Uhh, when you say it. It is kinda weird. So I guess best friend? 😁

Pyrrha: B-best friend!? Prepare yourself Ruby. Grab your Crescent Rose. I would rather not kill an unarmed opponent.

Ruby: B-but Pyrrha? It's true. I'm just friends with Jaune. 😰

Pyrrha: You dare to mock me further!

Ruby: Eek! No I didn't mean it like that. Someone please help me! 😫

Jaune: Pyrrha, wait. Don't kill Ruby!

Ruby: Jaune! 🥺

Pyrrha: Stay away Jaune. I need to kill this little hussy.

Ruby: Hussy?! 🐺

Jaune: Well. You can try to kill her...

Ruby: Hey!!! 😠

Jaune: B-but if you do then I will never allow you to shower with me.

Pyrrha: ... I'm listening.

Ruby: (Oh no...) 🥺

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Taking The Black(guard)

Jaune: *having his heart broken by Weiss*

Bleiss: Why hello lover boy~ 💜

*wearing nothing but sexy lingerie*

Jaune: Bleiss, what are you wearing?

Bleiss: Ho, ho. Don't mind what I'm wearing. You should be minding how are you going to satisfy me (sexually) this evening?

Jaune: B-but I like Weiss.

Bleiss: Weiss. Don't tell me you're still in love with the ice bitch?

Jaune: Don't call her that.

Bleiss: Why. Didn't she just reject you earlier, Jaune?

She doesn't deserve you.

She doesn't even like you.

What's wrong with calling her a bitch?

Jaune: It doesn't matter Bleiss, that still not okay. You can't call a girl and especially your sister like that.

Bleiss: So noble... You are wasted on her. In fact I say all the other girls are wasted on you except for me of course.

Jaune: Uh, Bleiss...

Bleiss: That little jailbait Ruby. Definitely not suited for you. Her small size alone means she cannot take your full length.

Jaune: Look...

Bleiss: Her sister Yang too isn't right for you. Let's just say that her chest is the only thing she gets going for her.

Jaune: Bleiss... I think you should stop.

Bleiss: But I'm just finally getting to the best part. And Blake, the little hypocrite. I'm willing to bet that it was the white fang that actually glad to get rid of her.

Jaune: No Bleiss, look behind you!

Bleiss: Ohh.... Hi girls. *Nervous laughter*

RWBY: 😠

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The Last Of The Silver-Eyed Wolf.

Wolf Ruby: *happily playing with her chew toys*

(Boy, I sure do love being a wolf faunus. 🐺)

Wolf Summer: Ruby, we need to talk.

Ruby: *woof* I mean yes, mommy. What is it about? *Panting* 🐶

Summer: Oh Ruby, There is no other way to tell you this, but I have been told that we are the last of the silver-eyed faunus.

Ruby: Oh, I guess that is a bad thing then?

Summer: It is Ruby. And right now the government is setting up a mating program to help maintain our population. And guess what Ruby, they already prepared one for you.

Ruby: *wolf gasp*

NO!!!

My Body, My Choice! And I choose to refuse to procreate!

I do not consent to this. You can't just ask me to give birth like a common tramp, I am a proud wolf faunus. I will only give birth when I decide I want to.

And right now I don't want a damn mutt to take care of. In fact, I'll probably abort the little bastard anyway if I somehow get pregnant. So no mom I don't want no government assigned mate.

Summer: Wow Ruby, a simple no would be enough. I mean he is standing right there you know.

Ruby: !!! 😧

Jaune: Hi. My name is Jaune. Nice to meet you.

Ruby:

Jaune: What?

Ruby: I mean breed to meet... I mean nice to breed you.... I mean nice to meet... So I can breed... I mean, what I wanted to say is that it is nice to meet you. (Please don't be weirded out)

Jaune: Right... So I heard you didn't want to mate with me? And I completely agree with you. If you want I can ask someone else to be your mating partner.

Ruby: *woofy gasp*

No!

Jaune: No? But I thought you don't want to.

Ruby: I changed my mind.

My species needs to be saved from the brink of extinction. And I want no one other than you to be my baby daddy.

In fact we can do it right now.

*pounce Jaune*

Summer: Well I guess I better leave you two alone with making grandchildren.

Jaune: Oh dear....

Ruby: *slurp*

My what big di*k you have Jaune... 😋

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Happy Belated Valentine Day Post.

Jaune: Weiss, seeing that Valentine day is close and we both have no date. Would you like to go out with me?

Weiss: Eww. As if vomit boy. Not even if you're the last handsome boy on Remnants.

Jaune: Wait. You think I'm handsome?

Ruby: Weiss, weiss, you want to go out on a date with me? ❄️ 🌹

Weiss: Eh, why not. Better you than with Arc I suppose.

Ruby: Yay! C'mon let's leave this loser behind. 😊

Jaune: Wait, come back.

Wait..

Wait...

*sniffs*

Well at least they're both happy.

Happy Valentine for them I guess.

*walks back home alone contemplating unaliving himself along the way*

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: Mom. I'm back.
Mama Arc: Oh there's my boy. And I see you didn't bring your date here?
Jaune: I'm sorry mom. But I think the male Arc like ends with me.
Mama Arc: Oh you're such a little kidder.
Your date actually came earlier and she's currently waiting upstairs in your room.
Jaune: *gasp*
Really?!

Sorry for posting this so late. I was busy... Anyway if this gets enough traction I'll continue it.

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But I'm Your GF!/Finally Some Arkos.

Pyrrha:

*glug*

*glug*

*exhale*

Barkeep, another!

Junior: I think you had enough.

Pyrrha: *throws glass*

Junior: Motherfu....

Pyrrha: I will tell you when I have enough!!!

Now pour me a drink, you sorry excuse for a bartender!

Junior: Okay sheesh. Don't blame me when you end up dead in a ditch.

*pours a stiff one*

Pyrrha: *glug*

*exhale*

See! That wasn't so hard now was it!

And leave the bottle.

Junior: *rolls eyes*

Hey Blondie you might want to keep your girlfriend from drinking herself to death. Just a small piece of advice.

Jaune: Uhmm... Pyrr. Don't you think you need to stop.

Pyrrha: *downs the entire glass*

And whose fault is that I have to drink so much in the first place?

Jaune: Me. But you only asked me to talk about my day?

Pyrrha: And you always talked about Ruby, Ruby, Ruby! I'm your girlfriend, Jaune!

Why won't you talk about me more!?

Jaune: Well I can't help it. Ruby is my friend and we share a lot of interests together.

Pyrrha: But I'm your partner.

I've been there for you from the start. I helped you with your training.

She didn't do anything!

Jaune: Hey now, Ruby sometimes helps me out too.

Pyrrha: Why are you always defending her!?

Tell me Jaune are you sleeping with her. Is that it?

Because that makes a lot of sense.

Jaune: Me with Ruby? No way!

We're just friend.

Pyrrha: J-just a friend?!!

I saw how you looked at Ruby. What kind of friend look at each other like that?

I also saw you cuddling with her on a sofa in the break room and on a bed.

Jaune: Ruby likes to cuddle, that's her way of showing affection and she sometimes gets very lonely at night.

Pyrrha: What?! She only ever did it with you!

Jaune: What can I say. Ruby just felt safer around me for some reason. That's what best friends usually are.

Pyrrha: Best friend! Best friend! Tell me Jaune does best friend shower together after training?

Jaune: Simple. She's my shower buddy. We're just showering together because we want to do our part to save water.

Junior: By the brothers, kid. What's wrong with you.

Pyrrha: Y-you are u-unbelieavable!!!

*stands up from her chair*

Hey everyone!

*belch*

My boyfriend is cheating on me with his best friend!

Jaune: Please, calm down Pyrrha...

Pyrrha: You don't get to calm me down. You cheater!

You think you can just do whatever you want just because you have a big dick!

Hey everyone did you know that my boyfriend's dick is so goddamn big that it should come with a choking hazard sign!

And he is such a great lover that he can make you cum multiple times with just his finger!

Crowd: *gasp*

Junior: Well that's my cue to stay away. You're on your own kid.

Jaune: Okay Pyrrha. Please come down from there let's talk about this at home. We don't need to make a scene.

Pyrrha: Then how come you never asked me to cuddle or shower with you?! Don't you know that I love you so much?

Jaune: I know that. And I'm sorry for making you feel that way. But rest assured that whatever feeling I have for Ruby is nothing like I have with you.

Pyrrha: *cry*

I'm sorry babe.... I know you and Ruby are just friends. And I agree that Ruby is a nice girl to hang out with.

It's just that every time you talk about her and be all happy about it. I felt a little neglected. I want to hang out with you too you know.

Jaune: Well maybe we can hang out together. All three of us.

Pyrrha: *sniffs* I-I mean if she's cool with it.

*doze off*

Jaune: Then I guess we will ask her together.

Pyrrha: *snore*

Jaune: Oh, I guess you're asleep now.

I'm sorry for everything my girlfriend does Junior. You can put it on my team's tab.

Junior: Urgh. Tell you what kid, it's on the house. Just get her the hell out of here.

Jaune: *heave*

???: Hey handsome. Here's my number if You want to hook up later.

Jaune: Uh... Thanks?

Back at the dorm

Ruby: Jaune, Pyrrha? What happened we were worried sick waiting for you... And why is she smelled like uncle Qrow before noon?

Pyrrha: Ugh...

*belch*

Ruby, keep your hands off... hrugh... My man.

Ruby: Excuse me?

Jaune: My guess is she just has too much to drink.

Ruby: Then we better put her to bed. I mean the rest of the team is already in one after they get tired of waiting.

Jaune: Thanks, Rubes.

*puts Pyrrha to bed*

By the way do you want to have a late night shower with me before we get to sleep? I've been sweating all night.

Ruby: Well... I mean it is good for the environment if we shower together...

So okay.

Pyrrha: * a single tear rolling down her cheek*

Jaune... You liar...

Then the both of them shower together. And nothing is going on between them inside the shower because they're just really good friends.

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Blake History Month.

Ruby: *cuddling together with Jaune*

I so love being together with you, Jaune. ❤️

We are so totally the canon ship in the series, don't you think so too? 😀

Jaune: I don't know if we're canon or not.

But what I know for sure is that I love spending my time together with you.

Ruby: Oh Jaune~ Kiss me lover boy. 💋

*yank*

Blake: Oh no you don't.

Ruby: Blake! What the Salem is the matter with you?! 😡

Blake: The gub'ment cancel black history month. So now I'm thinking of celebrating my own black history month.

And for my first topic it will be titled "Reparation" as in I will be taking Jaune as compensation for my ancestor's enslavement.

*yoink*

Jaune: Wait, what just happened?

Blake: We'll see ya Ruby.

*whoosh*

Ruby: ....! No, wait Blake, come back here with my man! 😭

Monty said we can be together!

Jaune: Don't worry Ruby I will call you back to make sure I'm okay.

Blake: Not so fast Jaune.

After I'm done with him. Not even you want to have him back. Nya, ha, ha.

Jaune: Eeek!

Ruby: Curse you Blake! Curse this gub'ment for cancelling black history month!!!

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Under The Desk Surprise.

Yang: *approaches Jaune*

Hey Jaune, Is Ruby still you know?

Jaune: Why don't you ask her.

*slides back from his desk*

Wolf Ruby:

Yang: ...!

Wait, ain't you supposed to be a wolf faunus?

Jaune: I don't think that's the important part... Oww!

Ruby! What did I tell you about using your teeth?

Ruby: *gag*

Soowwwyy.... 😢

*wags tail*

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Comparing Childhood...

Ruby: Despite what my happy & bubbly personality will lead you to believe. I don't have what you normie might call a "perfect childhood."

I lost my mother very early in my life. Our family was devastated. Yang has to step up and be the mother of our family.

Yang: Although I like to add that my birth mother abandoned me when I was a child and that I almost died once trying to find her ungrateful sorry ass.

Blake: That's nothing. I was taken from my family (by my own choice) And was taken in by a bunch of terrorists (of which I willingly joined). And is forced to commit heinous acts (with glee) against the (vile) oppressive humans.

Weiss: You think that's bad. My family is cold and distant. Growing up I know every brand of alcohol on the account of my mother drank so much of it. I have nothing to comfort me but my butler and my massive, obscene family's wealth. Sniff... *Snorts into a thousand lien paper*

Ruby: Right... So Jaune do you have any hard childhood yourself. If so what's its like?

Jaune: Oh me? I don't think I have one. I guess I am what you call a normie.

Jaune's Actual Childhood...

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Jaune's Cake Brings All The Girls In The Yard. 🍰 😋

Jaune: Hey girls I got a cake for us to share. You girls want one?

RWBY:

Ruby: *Tackles Jaune to the ground and bites his "cake"* Nom! 😋

Jaune: Ah!! Ruby, what are you doing? Not that "cake!"

Ruby: Hmm... Tastes good. Lean with a hint of bounciness to it. My favorite kind of cake. 😊

Jaune: Why are you describing my "cake" like that? I mean my... Ouch!

Yang: *nom* Wow, Rube. You were right it does taste kinda good.

Jaune: Yang, why are you biting my "cake" too?

Blake: Geez, Jaune she's just wanting to know what your "cake" tastes like.

Now if you excuse me I'm going to take a bite too.

*nom*

Jaune: Oww! Et tu Blake?

Weiss: Oh quit your complaining Jaune, you have four girls taking a bite of your "cake" you should be thanking us...

Speaking of which it's my turn now.

*nom*

Jaune: Not you too, Weiss! Please tell me what is going on right now?

RWBY: NO!

Alas Jaune's plea for mercy went unheard as the girls took turns taking a bite of Jaune's big, juicy, thicc "cake."

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The Bloodline Must Continue!

Papa Arc: Jaune mah' boy.

Jaune: What is it, dear pahpa?

Papa Arc: Uh... Don't call me that. Anyway, You need to get married to preserve the Arc's family bloodline.

Jaune: But I don't want to get married.

Papa Arc: Too late, son!

Behold!

I present to you your list of suitress

*shows long rows of beautiful scantily clad women*

Jaune: Uhmm......

Can I take a rain check?

Papa Arc: No son you need to make your decision now!

For too long you have dallied with your decision to give me a grandchildren.

Jaune: Dad I'm still twenty!

Papa Arc: And that is the reason why! When I'm your age I'm already making babies non stop with your mom.

Jaune: Dad, please don't talk about mom like that.

Papa Arc: What, that I had sex with her? Well guess what, son. Back then you need to use a crowbar to remove me from your mom.

Jaune: Ahhh!!! I'm not listening. La, la, la...

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