Fanart inspired by @batfam-stuff-posts-0 quotes. <3

but of course mark s feels nothing for gemma that’s what he was born to do

Found that over at mastodon

math = satansim

By far the funniest transition timelines are the ones from trans men where the "before" picture is some teeny little guy with sad baby seal eyes and the "after" picture looks like Kratos

This is one of the top posts in r/transtimelines and it really sums up what I'm talking about

My irl saw this post and sent me this even crazier transformation today! The little guy to Kratos pipeline is real!!!

that guy straight up turned into Funky Kong

I’ve started playing dnd again and the campaign I’m in has the pitch that we all must be characters from written works. The plot is we got thrown out of our own stories and must find our way back.

I am Hamlet, a warlock who made a pact with his Dad’s ghost (it’s absolutely his Dad’s ghost, he wasn’t tricked at all, ignore the fiend patron type) to get revenge on his Uncle. But this post isn’t about him.

Because our cleric, the one entrusted with keeping the party full of heals, the only person with healing magic, is House MD.

“Wait Iz!” You cry. “House MD is a television show, not written fiction.” You’d be correct. Which is why our cleric House is not from the television show.

He’s from a fan fiction.

It’s as funny as it sounds.

“Inuyasha, you have to seduce Mr. Darcy.” A real thing one of us said last session.

Some of the party highlights are as follows:

-me, Hamlet Prince of Denmark, warlock. Bonds: revenge. Alignment: revenge. Flaws: too much revenge. Magical item: talking skull named Yorick who is definitely a magical therapist sent by Hamlet’s ghost dad, totally legit.

-Beowulf, barbarian, stuck the longest, who uses the arm of Grendel as a weapon.

-House, cleric, who upon casting “toll the dead” makes a siren noise somehow with his mouth. He is deeply upset and put off by this.

-Inuyusha, fighter, who as previously stated, has to seduce Mr. Darcy

Okay so about the Mr. Darcy bit:

The party having learned they are 1. Fictional and 2. There are holes in their stories that they fell through and the universe is losing stability, decide to find the source of the issue. Worms aka bookworms are eating holes in stories leaving portals we can travel though. And so in our pursuit of fixing things, we travel though a portal and find ourselves in the British countryside, being yelled at by a girl who thinks she’s our sister.

The party arrives at the Bennett’s house and it becomes clear to the party that we’re in some sort of courtly romance and since portals open tend to open when the plot is resolved, the gang decides the solution here is one of us has to be the leading lady and therefore must seduce Mr. Darcy (who is clearly the romantic lead with all the talk about him)

The problem? House fails his dice roll for knowing shit about Pride and Prejudice except that it’s a romance. Which means we have no idea which one of us is supposed to seduce Mr. Darcy.

We’re able to rule out some candidates.It can’t be House who is Caroline as he’s “clearly here to be paired off with someone else.” Nor Katniss who is Mary. Beowulf isn’t it (who has been cast as Mr. Wickham and is confusing everyone by suddenly becoming a much more pleasant person to be around). Which leaves Hamlet (Jane) and Inuyasha (Lizzy)

Hamlet has a 20 charisma score. The party desperately hopes it’s Hamlet.

Then we get to the ball, Mr. Bingley walks up to Hamlet and everyone including Inuyasha goes “oh goddamn it.”

So some shenanigans arise and we end up positioning Inuyasha in front of Mr. Darcy, who then bends and snaps (House taught him), impressing the man. But he walks off to talk business with some guards instead of talking to Lizzy and all the sudden we realize something is up.

Now it’s been a long time since I read Pride and Prejudice but it did strike me as odd our DM kept mentioning that people owned guns. It wasn’t too odd, hunting is a thing, but I couldn’t remember this much mention of a military and chalked it up to being a minor detail I forgot. At least I did, until Mr. Darcy opened a jar of flies, followed them to a man who was standing slightly askew and promptly decapitated him.

We were not in Pride and Prejudice it turns out. We were in:

So. The wife of the guy who primarily runs fixthenews had a baby recently, and he has been understandably busy as a result, and missed updating two weeks ago, and has missed updating this week. Yay for him and his wife, I hope he's getting to spend some good quality time with his new kid.

However, I don't have time right now to hunt down, summarize, and format six good news stories into posts every day. When the queue runs out after Friday, I will try to post good news I come across, but I won't be able to post on the same usual schedule, or with the same quantity of good news stories, until they update again. If people want to send me good news they'd like me to post, or some of your favorite recent good news, I would be happy to post that, too.

In the meantime, remember that there is plenty of good news out there if you look for it. These sites are good sources to start with:

https://reasonstobecheerful.world/

https://theprogressnetwork.org/

https://fixthenews.com/

Source

Please note: this was a midterm ballot question. This only passed because people showed up to vote for something other than president. Please don't ignore local races.

Reminder of the importance of midterms.

And if your reps aren't putting these measures on the ballot? The importance of primaries and locals.

My YouTube algorithm is so cooked man cause what the hell is even this

Wait. I know Jacob Geller this dude is legit. If I had to guess this video is probably about how supernatural things are literally real in the Indiana Jones universe, including God, given the first and third movies are literally about the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail, and yet the main character refuses to believe in any of it.

So did you watch the essay before writing this, or do you just have all his videos memorized?

? No, I haven't seen it, I just estimated what the video was about based on what I know of the Indiana Jones franchise and how it relates to religion

Demily has this amazing natural ability called "deductive reasoning" that many people seem to forget exist.

Batboys, who finally got Jason to agree to join them in their Farm Weekends at Kents, and who beforehand warned Kon and Jon that, well, Jason can be a little flippant, but it nothing personal, only to find out that Jason has an awful, tooth-rotting soft spot for Supers.

Batboys are flabbergasted. Jason never acts like this with them, so what the actual fuck. Tim checks on Jason's temperature, like, three times in the row, and gets his hand smacked. Damian stares at Jason, trying to figure out if the Pit madness had returned in a different light. They have no explanation for this.

*quotes Supernatural during sex*

“Do these tacos taste funny to you?”

“You breed with the mouth of a goat”

”I need you to let me touch it.”

“he was my gay thing”

“Dude, you can’t poke it with a stick.”

“Cas, get out of my ass”

“I’ve got genital herpes.”

these are not actual quotes

these are actual quotes

crisp glass of water moodboard

sparknotes blog you are so dear to me

Clock App Shenanigans

Currently fucked up considering that the central point around which 79's agonies are built—yq's promise to come back when he was stronger and save sj—is a child's fantasy. Because even if he had come back? What could he do? Sj was considered qjl's property, it was legally within his rights to do whatever he wanted with him. He had money, now, but qjl would never have given up sj. Being a cultivator wouldn't have put yqy above the law, and exerting his newly-acquired strength to save sj by force would have only earned him a warrant.

Yue Qi becoming a cultivator wasnt some magical cure to everything. There would still be work and planning necessary in order to get him out of there without huge consequnces. And the thing is, I think sqq understands this. I think he understood this when he burnt down the qiu estate, perhaps even long before that. He probably considered plans for it—what to do once Yue Qi came back. But even when he understood, he waited, because the important partof their promise wasnt who precisely did the saving, it was that Yue Qi would come back for him, that Yue Qi cared about him, even if he found a better life for himself

Yue Qingyuan, i think, doesnt understand this at all. I think he really believes if he was just a little faster, if hed just gotten there sooner, if he hadnt been trapped in the caves, if he hadnt messed everything up, then he would have been able to show up in time to whisk sj away. The sentiment of the promise isnt so important to him—of course he loves sj, he always has put him first in all things, it goes without saying bc every single thing he does and says is an "i love you"—to him, the part of the promise that sat most heavily was the responsibilty. Its not enough to come back without strength, its not enough just to care—he had to save sj, and he failed.

Had sqq known he'd tried, he'd surely have viewed his failure as an inevitability, and it wouldnt have bothered him at all. To yqy, his failure is crushing. It is the basis around which every pathetic facet of his personality will be built for the rest of his life.

#yeah this is it#sqq just wanted to know yqy hadn't forgotten him. that he had value and was worth saving#shen jiu vs his own value is a whole thing#and yqy doesn't get this because OF COURSE HE COULD NEVER LEAVE JIU BEHIND. THAT WAS NEVER A QUESTION TO HIM#he's constantly beating himself up because he thinks he failed to do what jiu needed from him even though the thing that jiu needs from him#is the loving jiu that he does so naturally that it doesn't even register to him as something he has to show on purpose#yqy guilt complex. yqy putting the sole blame on himself for things that were not his responsibility and not within his ability to solve#just because as kids he was the kid the other kids relied on. But *he was a kid himself*. - via @summerstormsandnoodles

the year is 2025

scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want

the spice girls are getting impatient

war is upon us

posts that are funnier if u have the dates from posts enabled