Abandoned and divorced: The NRI pattern

By Shamita Das Dasgupta

Two out of 10 NRI marriages reportedly end with the wife being abandoned. India has no laws
that protect wives whose NRI husbands get ex parte divorces and custody of children. Will
governments decision to issue two valid passports to women marrying abroad help this
situation?

In January 2010, the Government of India (GOI) Ministry of Women and Child Development
announced an unusual decision: it will issue two simultaneously valid passports to married
women who leave the country to live with their husbands in foreign lands. The second passport
would include information about a womans NRI (non-resident Indian) spouse, serve as her proof
of marriage, and be deposited with the Indian Embassy/Consulate in the country where she is
being taken to reside. This unprecedented move is to protect women who are deserted abroad by
their migr husbands; men who disappear without a trace after destroying their wives travel
documents, making it difficult for the women to return to India.

Although this indicates the governments concern about the issue, Indian women being
abandoned in a foreign country is only a small part of a much larger crisis. An astounding
number of NRI wives are abandoned not in a foreign country, but in India itself. These are
women who have never resided abroad, or who have been brought back to India deceptively
and/or coercively by their NRI husbands and discarded without any legal or financial means.

The pattern of NRI wife abandonment falls into three types: (a) a woman who is residing with
her husband in a foreign country suddenly finds her husband has disappeared leaving her in the
lurch; (b) a woman who has been residing abroad with her husband is either deceptively and/or
coercively taken back to India and left there without her passport, visa, and money and thus
without any way of rejoining her husband; and (c) a woman who is married before her husband
migrates to a foreign country but is never sent sponsorship for a visa to join him. Alternatively, a
man who is already living abroad may return to India to marry and then leave with promises to
send for his bride. However, the visa papers never arrive. Since a large number of such marriages
take place hurriedly, mostly when men come back to India for a visit, the women have been
popularly labelled holiday brides.

The phenomenon of wives abandoned by their NRI husbands has been growing invisibly for
more than a decade. Nearly every Indian state has women deserted by NRI men who live in
various foreign countries including Canada, UK, European and Middle Eastern countries, and the
USA.

Although there is little systematic research on the subject, the numbers reported in newspapers
are staggering. By a 2004 estimate, approximately 12,000 abandoned women live in Gujarat, and
according to a 2007 study, an estimated 25,000 wives of NRIs have been deserted in Punjab. In
2008, GOI Minister for Overseas Indian Affairs Vayalar Ravi stated that in Punjab alone, at least
20,000 legal cases were pending against NRI husbands, presumably for abandoning their wives.
In 2009, the chairperson of the National Commission for Womens (NCW), Girija Vyas,
commented that out of 10 NRI marriages, two result in the wife being abandoned after
honeymoon. (1) In Canada, there may be as many as 10,000 runaway grooms. According to the
Government of Indian, migr husbands have abandoned at least 30,000 women in India, a
number significantly less than what newspapers report and NGOs suggest.

Regardless of actual figures, there is little doubt that the number of wives abandoned by NRI
husbands is appallingly high. An added outrage is that the overwhelming majority of abandoned
women have no way of combating their husbands desertion. Many are forced to live with their
in-laws as virtual servants to avoid destitution and silently suffer countless indignities. Some
women are bringing up children who have never seen their fathers and a few have committed
suicide to avoid the uncertainties and social shame of being abandoned. While the fundamental
motivation of such behaviour in men might be to dissolve an unwanted conjugal relationship, in
all cases the main purpose of abandonment is to deliberately deprive women of financial and
legal recourses to pursue justice. Hence, abandonment has dire and far-reaching consequences
for married Indian women. It profoundly affects financial, emotional, physical, and social
conditions of a woman and renders her life and livelihood practically nonviable. Preeti Sandhu, a
mother of two who had been brought back to India on a vacation and abandoned at the New
Delhi international airport by her NRI husband, stated to a reporter, Where will I go? Can I
be a burden on my brother? (2)

The GOI and South Asian womens organisations (SAWO) in the US are acutely aware of the
issue of wives abandoned in India by NRI men. Unquestionably, in a society with scanty safety
nets for women and where divorced women still suffer significant social stigma, abandoned
wives suffer grim privations in India. Defining abandonment as an individual left without
resources by another on whom s/he is dependent for social and financial survival, SAWOs have
dubbed transnational abandonment of wives as the emerging face of violence against women in a
globalising world. However, the mainstream violence against women movement in the US is yet
to see eye to eye with SAWOs, believing that desertion of adult women does not meet the
parameters of either domestic violence or sexual assault. In contrast, the GOIs actions seem to
lend credence to SAWOs characterisation of the problem. In 2006, the GOI created a fund for
abandoned Indian women that would grant each applicant US$ 1000-1500 to legally pursue their
claims in the US, UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and the Gulf countries.

Indisputably, desertion of women is atrocious and can be extremely traumatic for the affected.
However, when abandoned in the US, it is possible to find legal representation. Each US state
has non-governmental organisations and free legal aid services that facilitate all womens access
to the legal system and ultimately, to assert their claims to an equitable financial division of
marital property. However, women sent back to India and abandoned have far less access to legal
recourses and financial resources. Indian immigrant men tend to abandon their wives in the home
country specifically to thwart the womens efforts to find justice and assert their economic rights.
Nor do these wives have the opportunity to protect their interests and rights in US courts and are
frequently only the passive recipients of whatever legal decisions their husbands extract from the
legal system.
Since under international law, an individual's country of residency usually has jurisdiction in
civil and criminal cases, most often after deserting his wife the husband starts divorce
proceedings in his country of residence, to wit the US, (3) and obtains an ex part divorce.

The process of such divorce is fraught with problems for women who are deserted outside the
country where their husbands reside. In many cases, the women may never receive the legal
notice of filing, a copy of the complaint, and the notice of appearance. Although serving such
notices is a necessary step for a valid divorce in the US, mens families or other hostile parties
may suppress such notices being served in India and/or forge the recipients signature to indicate
legally binding acceptance. Frequently, the divorce notices are served improperly - that is, not
personally.

Even when a notice is served properly, it may reach a woman late with only a couple of weeks at
hand to respond. Most women tend to be ignorant of the US laws and often do not have easy
access to appropriate legal advice in India. Local attorneys in India may also be unfamiliar with
US family law, which does not require anyone to prove that the breakdown of the marriage is one
party's fault and allows ex part divorce if one party has not responded to the court's notice of
appearance.

In India, family law allows one party of a married couple to contest divorce petitions even after
receiving the divorce notice. A woman or her attorney may not comprehend that by refusing to
receive or respond to a divorce notice from the US courts, she allows the divorce to be concluded
by default and ex-part after the required time has elapsed. Furthermore, used to the slow
moving Indian legal system, many attorneys do not anticipate the fast pace of the US courts. As
women fail to respond, appear in court, seek adjournment, or secure legal representation, they
lose out on receiving maintenance, child support, rehabilitation support, and an equitable share of
marital property.

Even when an abandoned woman has lodged legal complaints in India either before or in
response to her husbands legal case, courts in the US may be ignorant of or oblivious to such
proceedings, thus allowing men to get away scot-free with an ex-part divorce. In addition,
courts in the two countries involved may have different laws, may ignore each others
judgments, and thereby issue conflicting orders (for example, the Indian law of Restitution of
Conjugal Rights has no parallel in the US and is often ignored by the US courts). Such
jurisdictional disagreements and legal contradictions often jeopardise the financial and social
rights of women who are not in a position to protect them in the first place. However, if there are
no legal contradictions or split jurisdiction, the Supreme Court of India has shown willingness to
accept divorce judgments passed in a foreign country (see Pashaura Singh v State of Punjab,
November 13, 2009). It is not clear if the US courts will reciprocate.

So, how can India respond fittingly to the problem of transnational abandonment of women?
Governments, legislators, judiciary, and social activists in India and the US are still playing catch
up to the fast changing realities in a global world. Gone is the traditional notion that a husband
and wife should reside in the same household and in the same geographical location. Due to
increased worker mobility across the globe, families may not only live in different households,
they may not even inhabit the same continent. To regulate peoples conduct and relationships in
such conditions, a new set of appropriate private international laws would have to be generated
and implemented.

The Hague Conference on Private International Law (popularly known as the Hague
Conference), an intergovernmental organisation of nearly 70 member states, serves as one of the
primary reference points for multilateral conventions governing international family law
disputes. A number of Hague Conventions offer legal remedies that could provide abandoned
women in India with financial relief, custody, divorce, and ultimately, a semblance of justice.
However, like all international agreements, Hague Conventions are meaningless unless country
governments sign and agree to abide by these. India and the US are not signatories to many of
these Conventions.

Efforts by the GOI in response to the problem of NRI abandonment are half-hearted at best and
futile at worst. The grant of $1500 for legal fees is patently insufficient for women pursuing any
legal option in the US and unavailable to abandoned women in India where the sum could have
made a difference. The issuance of two passports to married immigrant women is also somewhat
hasty, as the loss of such documents in a foreign land, although frightening, is easily remedied by
applying to the appropriate authorities. Instead, the funds could have been better utilised by
encouraging migrating women to attend seminars to acquaint them with the resources available
in a foreign land and provide essential information to protect their rights. In addition, the GOI
could take a leadership role in forging bilateral agreements that address the issue of transnational
abandonment, split jurisdiction and recognition and enforcement of decisions related to divorce,
maintenance obligations and child custody.

In 2009, the GOI hired an attorney-adviser residing in California to deal with the legal issues of
Indian women abandoned transnationally by their NRI husbands. Since US laws differ from state
to state, it is virtually impossible for one person in one particular state to deal with legal cases in
all 50 US states. The allocated funds could have been better spent by developing a network
of legal experts across the US to assist abandoned women outside the country, supporting
judiciary education, and trying test cases in one or two targeted states to create credible case
laws. Such case laws would inform attorneys in different states and might ultimately bring about
necessary legal changes to protect women from unjust legal outcomes.

Womens organisations are organising independently around the issue of abandoned wives.
SAWOs in the US and NGOs in India established a network called Aman: Global Voices for
Peace in the Home, on December 7, 2006. Led by Swayam in West Bengal and Manavi in New
Jersey, Aman has more than 30 organisational members and is focused on responding to women
abandoned by their NRI husbands. However, as the network began to operate, the difficulties in
working across continents and discrepant legal systems came to the fore. The problems generated
by wife abandonment often did not span just two jurisdictions but three or four. Currently, Aman
is still recruiting womens organisations to widen and strengthen its network. Simultaneously, it
is providing assistance to affected women individually and attempting to create strategies and
suggestions for change at policy levels.

For abandoned women, another serious problem is transnational child custody. After coercing
their wives to go back to the home country with the children, NRI men in the US can secure ex
part divorces and full legal custody of their children by default (that is, if one parent or his/her
legal representative does not appear in court). Subsequent to being awarded custody, the men
have lodged abduction complaints against the mothers at the federal and state levels. As a result,
the women have been charged with international parental kidnapping and left to deal with related
warrants and the status of a fugitive from law. With such complaints against them, the mothers
have been effectively banned from re-entering the US or face arrest and jail time upon re-entry.
At least in two known cases, the fathers have travelled to India and kidnapped the children back
to the US.

Transnational abandonment of wives is a particularly challenging issue because of the legal

complications it generates, the difficulties in arriving at a just solution, and the complexities in
dealing with cultural as well as legal expectations of different nations. Unfortunately, the
desertion of wives and children has grown significantly in the wake of increased mobility of
Indian workers. As Indian men and women migrate to foreign countries, the enjoyment and
infringement of their rights occur in transnational spaces that is, spaces that extend beyond
national boundaries and encompasses psychological, legal, emotional, cultural, and economic
areas spanning different nations. Due to such straddling of boundaries, special issues and
problems arise for individuals and families who live in transnational domains. Changes in
international advocacy, law and policy are required to ensure justice and a viable life, especially
to women in this situation.

Divorced without a hearing

Ketan (4) a long time permanent resident in the US came back to India to get married. His
brothers and widowed mother approached Sharmilas parents, who had advertised in the
newspapers for a match for her, and arranged for the wedding. Sharmilas parents, who were
educated but not well to do, were delighted at the prospect of having their eldest daughter
well settled in the US. Furthermore, they were happy that the grooms family did not demand
an exorbitant dowry. The wedding took place within a week of Ketan landing in India and the
newlyweds moved in with his mother in a home she shared with her sons. Ketan was supposed
to stay in India for eight weeks and promised to send for her as soon as he reached the US.

Within three weeks of their marriage, Sharmilas mother-in-law began to disparage her family
for not providing worthy gifts for them at the wedding. The altercations reached a stage where
one of Ketans brothers slapped Sharmila in front of everyone and forced her to apologise for
arguing with his mother. Ketan ignored the mistreatment of his wife and was impervious to
her complaints. By the time he left for the US, Sharmilas relationship with him was showing
signs of serious strain. However, she believed that when they would live in the US by
themselves, such tensions would be behind them.

As soon as Ketan left, his mother turned Sharmila out of the house without any money.
Sharmila was forced to go back to her fathers home and accept his financial support. She
had resigned from her teaching position in a school in preparation of her marriage and
migration, and was now penniless. Within a few months, Ketans letters, phone calls, and
emails to her dwindled and eventually ended. Sharmilas frantic letters to him were returned
unopened, her emails bounced, and phone calls reached a disconnected line. After only a year
and a half of their marriage, Sharmila received a notice to appear in a US court to respond to
a divorce petition filed by Ketan. Panic-stricken, she consulted a lawyer who advised her not
to respond to the notice to stall the divorce proceedings. On his advice, she lodged a
Restitution of Conjugal Rights case in the local high court. Within four weeks of the first set of
papers, Sharmila received the notice of divorce enacted in the US, which had been granted in
her absence. She had received no maintenance or property settlement.

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