When Crucial Conversations Go Social - Ebook From VitalSmarts
When Crucial Conversations Go Social - Ebook From VitalSmarts
When Crucial Conversations Go Social - Ebook From VitalSmarts
Use the 4X rule. Since others cant see or hear you, realize
theyll amplify the emotion of anything you write fourfold.
Trust your gut. When reading a response to your post and you feel
the conversation is getting too emotional for an online exchange youre right! Stop. Take it offline. Or better yet, face-to-face.
The day after the Presidential Election, my youngest brother posted a very derogatory comment on Twitter about the elections outcome. I jokingly tweeted back a smart-mouth tweet that I thought was funny, to which he answered very negatively. He blocked me and my children from Twitter and Facebook and I no longer have a relationship with my brother.
Dont forget that what you say can and will be held against you
An employee friended a supervisor in their workplace. The supervisor visited the employees Facebook page and discovered a poor comment. She fired the employee. A friend had her relationship with her child care provider go south. The provider and some of the providers family members became involved and engaged their small community in the dispute to say untrue and unflattering things about my friend. All parties involved engaged in crude and offensive language via Facebook and texts. Unfortunately this situation has been referred to the courts and to fraud investigators due to the social content. At this time the situation remains unresolved.
Keep in touch
A buddy moved states and I was reminded via Facebook of his birthday. I sent a Facebook message to express my admiration and told him that he inspires me. In person, I would not be that open with my feelings. His response was very generous and the friendship was strengthened.
Show support
My daughter had an issue with her 5th grade teacher. I considered the teacher a bully and was in and out of the principals office. I posted the issue and received some good advice from other moms. Long story short, I finally got my daughter moved to a new teacher and the principal apologized. My friends son died in a work-related accident. He lingered for a week or so before he passed, and Facebook helped keep me informed of how she was doing and how he was progressing. It was a traumatic time, but through Facebook we could stay informed and provide emotional support for my friend when she needed it most.
Engage in dialogue
I enjoy social media as a place for people of different viewpoints to share thoughtful input on difficult politics. For example, I grew up as a bleeding-heart liberal who never understood Republicans point of view. I have a much better understanding and appreciation for their point of view now because of my friends well-expressed points and critiques.
Have tolerance
A right-wing Facebook friend blamed a well-known media personality of leaning left and said she was dumb. I commented that in a democracy, all people, including media, have an opinion on politics. After a set of volleys and countervolleys, we resolved the issue of being tolerant to others views and opinionseven if one does not agree.
Apologize
Someone I knew from high school posted something like, I feel the darkness closing in. And I joked, Of course, we all do, since its been raining all week. He replied that he didnt have suicidal thoughts due to the weather. Yikes! I immediately private messaged him and apologized for minimizing his comment, that I didnt know he was talking about suicide, and that I was very sympathetic to his feelings.
My niece is an atheist and shared a post on how stupid Christians are to believe what we believe. I was offended and actually unfriended her because it was one of many very caustic posts on religion. She contacted me and apologized for offending me. We agreed that she would not include me in any further posts on her views and we refriended.
Another friend just typed, ? Our son was embarrassed by the first friends comment and avoids that person. However, he has remained friends with the second friend due to the tactful way the issue was handled.
Create safety
After purchasing a new car, I noticed there were some scratches and issues with cleanliness. I posted on the dealerships Facebook page that I was relatively pleased with the purchase with the exceptions noted. The following day the dealership took care of the issues and I left a subsequent Facebook comment on how pleased I was with their customer service. My son posted a joke on Facebook that was in poor taste. One of his friends told him he should be ashamed of himself.