It may seem like there’s nothing you can do about

stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will

STRESS
never be more hours in the day, and your work
and family responsibilities will always be
demanding. But you have a lot more control than

Stress you might think.

Management:
If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re
putting your entire well-being at risk. Stress
wreaks havoc on your emotional equilibrium, as

How to Reduce well as your overall physical and mental health. It

narrows your ability to think clearly, function

and Relieve
effectively, and enjoy life.

Effective stress management helps you break the

Stress hold stress has on your life, so you can be

happier, healthier, and more productive. The
ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work,
While it may seem like there’s nothing you can do relationships, relaxation, and fun—and the
about stress at work and home, there are steps resilience to hold up under pressure and meet
you can take to destress and regain control. challenges head on. But stress management is
not one-size-fits-all. That’s why it’s important to
experiment and find out what works best for you.
The following stress management tips can help
you do that.

Tip 1: Identify the sources of

stress in your life
Stress management starts with identifying the
sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as
straightforward as it sounds. While it’s easy to
identify major stressors such as changing jobs,
moving, or going through a divorce, pinpointing
By Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith, M.A.
the sources of chronic stress can be more
complicated. It’s all too easy to overlook how your
own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors contribute
What is stress to your everyday stress levels.
management?

Sure, you may know that you’re constantly emotionally.

worried about work deadlines, but maybe it’s your
How you acted in response.
procrastination, rather than the actual job
demands, that is causing the stress. What you did to make yourself feel better.

To identify what’s really stressing you out, look

closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses: Tip 2: Cut out unhealthy
Do you explain away stress as temporary
ways of dealing with stress
(“I just have a million things going on right Many of us feel so stressed out, we resort to
now”) even though you can’t remember the unhealthy and unproductive ways to cope. A lot
last time you took a breather? of these unhelpful strategies can temporarily
reduce stress, but in the long run, they actually
Do you define stress as an integral part of
cause even more damage:
your work or home life (“Things are always
crazy around here”) or as a part of your
Smoking, drinking too much, or using drugs
personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy,
to relax.
that’s all”)?
Bingeing on junk or comfort food.
Do you blame your stress on other people
or outside events, or view it as entirely Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or
normal and unexceptional? phone.

Until you accept responsibility for the role you Withdrawing from friends, family, and social
play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level activities.
will remain outside your control.
Sleeping too much.

Filling up every minute of the day to avoid

Start a stress journal facing problems.

A stress journal can help you identify the regular Procrastinating.

stressors in your life and the way you deal with
them. Each time you feel stressed, make a note of Taking out your stress on others (lashing

it in your journal or use a stress tracker on your out, angry outbursts, physical violence).

phone. Keeping a daily log will enable you to see

[Read: Self-Medicating Depression, Anxiety, and
patterns and common themes. Write down:
Stress]

What caused your stress (make a guess if

If your methods of coping with stress aren’t
you’re unsure).
contributing to your greater emotional and
How you felt, both physically and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones
that leave you feeling calm and in control. online.

Tip 3: Practice the 4 A’s of Avoid hot-button topics. If you get upset over
religion or politics, cross them off your
stress management conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about
the same subject with the same people, stop
While stress is an automatic response from your
bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the
nervous system, some stressors arise at
topic of discussion.
predictable times: your commute to work, a
meeting with your boss, or family gatherings, for
Pare down your to-do list. Analyze your
example. When handling such predictable
schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If
stressors, you can either change the situation or
you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish
change your reaction.
between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop

When deciding which option to choose in any tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of

given scenario, it’s helpful to think of the four A’s: the list or eliminate them entirely.

avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.

Alter the situation

Avoid unnecessary stress If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter
it. Often, this involves changing the way you
It’s not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that
communicate and operate in your daily life.
needs to be addressed, but you may be surprised
by the number of stressors in your life that you
Express your feelings instead of bottling
can eliminate.
them up. If something or someone is bothering
Learn how to say “no.” Know your limits and you, communicate your concerns in an open and

stick to them. Whether in your personal or respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings,

professional life, taking on more than you can resentment will build and the stress will increase.

handle is a surefire recipe for stress.

Be willing to compromise. When you ask
Avoid people who stress you out. If someone someone to change their behavior, be willing to

consistently causes stress in your life, limit the do the same. If you both are willing to bend at

amount of time you spend with that person, or least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding

end the relationship. a happy middle ground.

Take control of your environment. If the Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in
evening news makes you anxious, turn off the TV. your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing

If traffic makes you tense, take a longer but less- your best to anticipate and prevent them. If

traveled route. If going to the market is an you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty

unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping roommate just got home, say up front that you

only have five minutes to talk. Accept the things you can’t
Find balance. All work and no play is a recipe for
change
burnout. Try to find a balance between work and Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You
family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, can’t prevent or change stressors such as the
daily responsibilities and downtime. death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a
national recession. In such cases, the best way to
cope with stress is to accept things as they are.
Adapt to the stressor Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run,
it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself.
change.
You can adapt to stressful situations and regain
your sense of control by changing your
Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many
expectations and attitude.
things in life are beyond our control, particularly
the behavior of other people. Rather than
Reframe problems. Try to view stressful
stressing out over them, focus on the things you
situations from a more positive perspective.
can control such as the way you choose to react
Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it
to problems.
as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to
your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone
Look for the upside. When facing major
time.
challenges, try to look at them as opportunities
for personal growth. If your own poor choices
Look at the big picture. Take perspective of
contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on
the stressful situation. Ask yourself how
them and learn from your mistakes.
important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in
a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset
Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in
over? If the answer is no, focus your time and
an imperfect world and that people make
energy elsewhere.
mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free
yourself from negative energy by forgiving and
Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a
moving on.
major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting
yourself up for failure by demanding perfection.
Share your feelings. Expressing what you’re
Set reasonable standards for yourself and others,
going through can be very cathartic, even if
and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful
situation. Talk to a trusted friend or make an
Practice gratitude. When stress is getting you
appointment with a therapist.
down, take a moment to reflect on all the things
you appreciate in your life, including your own
positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy Tip 4: Get moving
can help you keep things in perspective.
When you’re stressed, the last thing you probably
feel like doing is getting up and exercising. But include walking, running, swimming, dancing,
physical activity is a huge stress reliever—and cycling, tai chi, and aerobics. But whatever you
you don’t have to be an athlete or spend hours in choose, make sure it’s something you enjoy so
a gym to experience the benefits. Exercise you’re more likely to stick with it.
releases endorphins that make you feel good, and
it can also serve as a valuable distraction from While you’re exercising, make a conscious effort

your daily worries. to pay attention to your body and the physical
(and sometimes emotional) sensations you
While you’ll get the most benefit from regularly experience as you’re moving. Focus on
exercising for 30 minutes or more, it’s okay to coordinating your breathing with your
build up your fitness level gradually. Even very movements, for example, or notice how the air or
small activities can add up over the course of a sunlight feels on your skin. Adding this
day. The first step is to get yourself up and mindfulness element will help you break out of
moving. Here are some easy ways to incorporate the cycle of negative thoughts that often
exercise into your daily schedule: accompanies overwhelming stress.

Put on some music and dance around. Tip 5: Connect to others

Take your dog for a walk. There is nothing more calming than spending
quality time with another human being who
Walk or cycle to the grocery store.
makes you feel safe and understood. In fact,
Use the stairs at home or work rather than face-to-face interaction triggers a cascade of
an elevator. hormones that counteracts the body’s defensive
“fight-or-flight” response. It’s nature’s natural
Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot stress reliever (as an added bonus, it also helps
and walk the rest of the way. stave off depression and anxiety). So make it a
point to connect regularly—and in person—with
Pair up with an exercise partner and
family and friends.
encourage each other as you work out.

Play ping-pong or an activity-based video [Read: Social Support for Stress Relief]

game with your kids.

Keep in mind that the people you talk to don’t
have to be able to fix your stress. They simply
need to be good listeners. And try not to let
Deal with stress with mindful worries about looking weak or being a burden
rhythmic exercise keep you from opening up. The people who care
about you will be flattered by your trust. It will
While just about any form of physical activity can
only strengthen your bond.
help burn away tension and stress, rhythmic
activities are especially effective. Good choices
Of course, it’s not always realistic to have a pal

close by to lean on when you feel overwhelmed place to handle life’s stressors.
by stress, but by building and maintaining a
network of close friends you can improve your Set aside leisure time. Include rest and
resiliency to life’s stressors. relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow
other obligations to encroach. This is your time to
take a break from all responsibilities and recharge
Tips for building relationships your batteries.

01. Reach out to a colleague at work. Do something you enjoy every day. Make
time for leisure activities that bring you joy,
02. Help someone else by volunteering. whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or
working on your bike.
03. Have lunch or coffee with a friend.

04. Ask a loved one to check in with you

Keep your sense of humor. This includes the
regularly. ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing
helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
05. Call or email an old friend.
Take up a relaxation practice. Relaxation
06. Go for a walk with a workout buddy. techniques such as yoga, meditation, and deep
breathing activate the body’s relaxation
07. Schedule a weekly dinner date.
response, a state of restfulness that is the
08. Meet new people by taking a class or opposite of the fight or flight or mobilization
joining a club. stress response. As you learn and practice these
techniques, your stress levels will decrease and
09. Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or your mind and body will become calm and
sports coach. centered.

10. Join a support group—either in-person or

via on online therapy platform. Tip 7: Manage your time
better
Tip 6: Make time for fun Poor time management can cause a lot of stress.
and relaxation When you’re stretched too thin and running
behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. Plus,
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive
you’ll be tempted to avoid or cut back on all the
attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by
healthy things you should be doing to keep stress
carving out “me” time. Don’t get so caught up in
in check, like socializing and getting enough
the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to
sleep. The good news: there are things you can
take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is
do to achieve a healthier work-life balance.
a necessity, not a luxury. If you regularly make
time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better
Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling “highs” caffeine and sugar provide often end with
things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the
one day. All too often, we underestimate how long amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and
things will take. sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed
and you’ll sleep better.
Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to
do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-
the high-priority items first. If you have something medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an
particularly unpleasant or stressful to do, get it easy escape from stress, but the relief is only
over with early. The rest of your day will be more temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand;
pleasant as a result. deal with problems head on and with a clear
mind.
Break projects into small steps. If a large
project seems overwhelming, make a step-by- Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your
step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will
time, rather than taking on everything at once. increase your stress because it may cause you to
think irrationally.
Delegate responsibility. You don’t have to do it
all yourself, whether at home, school, or on the Tip 9: Learn to relieve
job. If other people can take care of the task, why
not let them? Let go of the desire to control or stress in the moment
oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of When you’re frazzled by your morning commute,
unnecessary stress in the process. stuck in a stressful meeting at work, or fried from
another argument with your spouse, you need a
Tip 8: Maintain balance way to manage your stress levels right now.

with a healthy lifestyle That’s where quick stress relief comes in.

In addition to regular exercise, there are other The fastest way to reduce stress is by taking a
healthy lifestyle choices that can increase your deep breath and using your senses—what you
resistance to stress. see, hear, taste, and touch—or through a
soothing movement. By viewing a favorite photo,
Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are smelling a specific scent, listening to a favorite
better prepared to cope with stress, so be piece of music, tasting a piece of gum, or hugging
mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with a pet, for example, you can quickly relax and
breakfast, and keep your energy up and your focus yourself.
mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals
[Read: Quick Stress Relief]
throughout the day.

Of course, not everyone responds to each

Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary
sensory experience in the same way. The key to

quick stress relief is to experiment and discover

the unique sensory experiences that work best
for you.

Last updated or reviewed on February 5,

2024

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