UNIT 5

Relationships

Overview

Popular psychology suggests that while men and women seek different comforts in a
relationship there is one facet of a relationship that both sexes desire; namely, emotional
security. Contained in this sphere of emotional security are love, acceptance, and respect.
Conversely, in the absence of this emotional security there is a greater likelihood of
conflict emerging. Dysfunctional relationships are characterized by gender based
violence such as family violence, intimate partner abuse, spousal homicide, physical,
sexual and verbal abuse as discussed by Gibbons (2015). While our Caribbean literature
discusses in detail the benefits of relationships along with the dangers of interpersonal
and family violence, there is less detail but growing interest in the topics of sexuality,
homosexuality, bisexuality and sex change. In addition to providing you with an
understanding of these concepts in this unit, information will also be provided on the
legal framework in selected Caribbean countries which criminalizes homosexuality in
most Caribbean countries including Trinidad and Tobago and Jamaica. This Unit
explains the key concepts gender, sexuality, relationships, conflict and androgyny and
gives you the opportunity to share your opinion via the unit learning activities. In session
1 social learning theory is used to explain the development of gender and sexuality. In
session 2 the focus is on conflict management and this is examined through the lens of
psychoanalytic theory.

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Learning Objectives

By the end of this Unit, you will be able to:

1. Trace the influence of the media in the labelling of gender and sexuality over the
last 40 years.
2. Discuss how androgyny affects gender sexuality today.
3. Critically evaluate conflict management options.
4. Explore via the literature how males and females solve conflicts in various
environments and social contexts.

This Unit is divided into two sessions as follows:

Session 5.1: Gender and Sexuality

Session 5.2: Conflict Management

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 Readings & Resources

Required Readings
Abu, O. (2006). Theories in conflict Management, Lagos: National Open University of
Nigeria Retrieved from
https://archive.org/stream/THEORIESINCONFLICTMANAGEMENT/THEORI
ES%20IN%20CONFLICT%20MANAGEMENT#page/n15/mode/2up

Bornstein, R. (2017). The psychodynamic perspective. In R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener

(Eds), Noba textbook series: Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers.
DOI:nobaproject.com Retrieved from http://nobaproject.com/modules/the-
psychodynamic-perspective

Brown, C. S. & Jewell, J. A. (2017). Gender. In R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener (Eds), Noba
textbook series: Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. DOI:nobaproject.com
Retrieved from http://nobaproject.com/modules/gender

Recommended Readings / Other Resources

Ding, S. & Littleton, K. (2005). Children’s Personal and Social Development (Child
Development), New Jersey: Wiley-Blackwell. (Chapter 5 Gender Identity and the
Development of Gender Roles)

Gibbons, A. Y. (2015). Family Violence in the Caribbean, Presentation to the Expert

Group Meeting on Family policy development: achievements and challenges
United Nations Headquarters, New York, 14-15 May. Retrieved from
http://www.un.org/esa/socdev/family/docs/egm15/Gibbonspaper.pdf

Helgeson, V. S. (2012). Chapter 1 Introduction, Chapter 8 Friendship and Chapter 9

Romantic Relationships in The Psychology of Gender, 4 Ed., Pearson International
th

Kelley, J. (2015, November 9). Laws Intolerant of LGBT community, Trinidad and
Tobago Guardian Online. Retrieved from http://www.guardian.co.tt/news/2015-
11-09/laws-intolerant-lgbt-community

Kempadoo, K. (2009). Caribbean Sexuality: Mapping the Field, Caribbean Review of

Gender Studies, 3, 1-24.

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Session 5.1

Gender and Sexuality

Introduction
The academic literature on the psychology of gender is heavily skewed towards the use
of the terms sex, sex differences, gender and sexuality. These terms were discussed in
Unit 1. You would recall that sex is a biological construct of male and female while
gender refers to the social and psychological characteristics associated with sex
differences. Although the definitions offered are useful in offering concepts for reading,
discussing and analyzing these terms, not all social scientists agree with the definitions
proposed. To add to this complexity, LaFrance, Paluck and Brescoll (2004) stated that
there continues to be shifting boundaries between what is regarded as masculine and
feminine as well as what constitutes differences between the sexes with respect to their
identities, traits, abilities and performance. As you read this unit and engage with the
learning activities pay attention to the theoretical framework of the arguments which
leaned on biological explanations 60 years ago, but now has a closer alignment with
social constructionism. The term social constructionism was coined by Berger and
Luckmann (1966) to represent how meaning and knowledge are embedded in society
and social interaction with others. Therefore, what we think about gender, sexuality,
relationships and conflict is a composite of public sentiments on the issue and social
scientists placing these sentiments in a theoretical framework.

Social Learning Theory

It is accepted that gender identity awareness occurs during the childhood phase of
development. Specifically, children become aware of, or are taught, about masculinity
and femininity and about gender roles. Everyday activities are rich in gender
expectations, for example, the types of clothes that children are dressed in by parents,
guardians or caregivers or the colour of their clothes. The choice of toys that they are
given are filled with expectations of the occupational and social roles that children are
expected to fulfil later in life. For example, giving a boy a chemistry set and a girl a doll
as birthday gifts. Attaching the labels of ‘strength’ to boys and ‘delicate’ to girls (Rubin
et al., 1974) or the type of play and bonding activities parents engage in with their boys
(such as camping) and girls (such as attention to clothes and shopping for them) have
been the subject of the academic literature (e.g. Lamb, 1987). Interestingly, Lytton and
Romney (1991) reported that fathers were more inclined to encourage their children into
gender based activities than mothers. Ding and Littleton (2005) remind us that various

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institutions provide gender labelling and socializing experiences to children. These
include children’s peers, the school, religion or the Church, and all forms of the media –
print and electronic, but particularly social media. According to Ding and Littleton,

The social learning process focuses on the role of the social environment in children’s
gender development: it argues that children come to identify and endorse stereotypes
because they are rewarded for gender-typed behaviour and/or they observe such behaviour
in the world around them. (Ding & Littleton, 2005, p. 150)

The details of how social learning theory links to gender development were presented
by the American Psychologist Walter Mischel in 1966. He believed that gender-type
behaviours are formed over time because they led to different consequences for one sex
than for the others. For example, if teenage boys are rewarded for being reflective in
thinking, argumentative and inclined to oppose ideas, one might develop the impression
that these skills are necessary for jobs in the boardroom or the courtroom. If one held the
notion that teenage girls are better in service industries and nurturing jobs such as
teaching or nursing, then girls are likely to be chastised for displaying the argumentative
skills that their male counterparts would need in the corporate world. In an article by
O’Neill and O’Reilly (2011) the authors noted that in the past, previous research (e.g.
Eagly & Karau, 2002; Rudman & Phelan, 2008) showed that masculine (agentic) women
suffered from a backlash effect in which they were sanctioned for violating the feminine
gender role stereotype. In contrast, O’Neill and O’Reilly (2011) reported that such
corporate women were deemed to be successful only if they were able to monitor their
emotions and regulate them according to the social context; for example, exerting
influence in the boardroom but showing less assertiveness out of the boardroom such as
in the home or when with friends.

In addition to the role of sanctions and rewards in shaping gender-type attitudes and
behaviours, such gender schemas are also acquired vicariously through observational
learning of other models in the environment, and by paying attention to the
consequences of those actions for those models. Rewards to the model will also cause the
observer to replicate the behaviour in the expectation of acquiring similar rewards.
Conversely, punishing the model will deter the observer from replicating that behaviour.
Social learning theory in the past explained the types of interpersonal and intimate
relationships one formed. In the past the ideal intimate relationship or even marriage
was conceived of as a heterosexual affair and young persons were socialized into
accepting heterosexual relationships as being legal, acceptable and held in high regard.
Later in the section on homosexuality we will discuss how the laws of countries such as
Trinidad and Tobago and Jamaican deterred homosexual relations by specifying the
punishment that would be forthcoming for a breach of the law and subsequent
conviction by the Court.

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An Alternative view to Social Learning Theory
Not all theorists agree that children are like “sponges” simply absorbing stimuli in their
environment or accepting gender schemas without reacting to them. Children are
exposed to a lot of information via the television and social media and they are
sometimes prone to challenging the roles given to them. Some girls may reject ‘feminine’
clothes and prefer unisex clothing. Some boys may like a long hairstyle as opposed to a
short crew cut or they might like wearing jewelry such as chains and earrings. The
choices children make - and their tantrums to reject what is imposed upon them – offer
evidence of their reflective and cognitive thought processes in their daily experiences
and activities including their gender roles. More would be said about theory, gender and
sexuality in Session 5.2 when Psychoanalytic Theory is discussed.

LEARNING ACTIVITY 5.1

Informal Research – Gender based attitudes and behavior
in your environment
This activity encourages you to conduct informal research and to explore
the evidence for gender roles that exist in your community or immediate
family.
The following suggestions will help you with this task.
• Over a 1-week period, record via your Smartphone, a 15 minute
video that displays examples of gender based stereotypical
behaviour in your social environment, as well as behaviours that
do not conform to gender based stereotypes. For example, the
choice of clothing of citizens (masculine, feminine, unisex) that
you see on your way to work; the choice of bonding activity that
you as a parent or relative engage in with your children.
• Interview the children in your domestic circle and find out the
types of jobs that they would like to have when they grow up
and why they made the respective choices.
• You can also consider interviewing two of your elderly relatives
or 2 members of your community who can explain the gender
roles and expectations that were attributed to them and to boys
and girls generally when they were growing up.
• Conduct 2 other interviews with younger relatives or members
of the community as this would offer historical evidence of the
changes in gender schemas, attitudes, and norms in your society
over the decades.

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 • After you make your recording, create a Power Point
presentation of 5 slides. Embed the video and summarize the
evidence of what you recorded.
• Reflect on the academic literature on gender-based attitudes and
behaviour and assess the extent to which your subjects in the
video showed gender based behaviour or a movement away
from gender based behaviour.
Your Power Point presentation with your embedded video should be
uploaded to the course forum and played in your online web
conferencing session with your course instructor or tutor for discussion
and feedback.

Homosexuality
A simple definition of homosexuality is an attraction to people of one’s own sex.
According to Pickett (2015) the term homosexuality was coined in the late 19th century by
a German psychologist, Karoly Maria Benkert. It is suggested that the notion of
heterosexuality (attraction to people of another sex) was in keeping with natural law;
that is, what is natural to human nature. The abnormal, pathological element of
homosexuality was displayed by the inclusion of homosexuality as a mental disorder in
the early versions of the Diagnostic Manual for Statistical and Mental Disorders (DSM-I
and DSM II) created by the American Psychiatric Association. It was in 1973 that
homosexuality was declassified as a mental disorder in subsequent versions of the DSM
(DSM-III through DSM V). Drescher (2015 p. 566) reported that pathological theories
focused on pre or post natal causes for the development of homosexual tendencies and
behaviours. These included intrauterine hormonal exposure, excessive mothering,
inadequate or hostile fathering, as well as sexual abuse. Psychoanalytic theory is aligned
to the theory of immaturity. Homosexual feelings or behaviour at a young age is a normal
part of human development which a child is expected to outgrow. However, if there is a
developmental arrest that stunts growth, Drescher (2015) notes that adult homosexuality
emerges (p. 566).

LaFrance, Paluck and Brescoll (2004) discussed politics in the psychology of gender,
including the discourse on homosexuality. Lobby groups pressured countries to remove
laws that punished homosexual relations. In 1967 homosexuality in the UK was
decriminalized as long as it occurred in private between two men who are 21 years and
over. Lobby groups helped to ‘depathologize’ homosexuality (as discussed by Drescher,
2015). Current laws in the Caribbean still impose sentences upon conviction for
homosexual relations. Trinidad and Tobago deterred homosexual relations and
homosexual sex by specifying the punishment that would be forthcoming for a breach

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of the law and subsequent conviction by the Court. Kelly (2015) explained the position
of the laws of Trinidad and Tobago and noted that while there is no law that specifically
deems homosexuality as illegal, buggery (an act that is associated with homosexuality)
is illegal. Section 13 (2) of the Trinidad and Tobago Sexual Offences Act Chap. 11:28
defines buggery as sexual intercourse per annum by a male person with a male person
or by a male person with a female person. There are also laws that restrict the ability of
homosexual couples to get married in Trinidad and Tobago. In Jamaica, the legal position
is similar to that of Trinidad and Tobago. Are same sex relationships and marriages legal
in countries in the Caribbean? They are legal in the Netherlands so they are also legal in
the Dutch Caribbean islands of Aruba, Curacao and St. Maarten.

There is some degree of understanding of human behaviour such as sex relationships in

some religious organizations. For example, it is reported that the Vatican maintains its
stand that homosexual acts are sinful but homosexual orientation is not sinful. Pope
Francis issued a call for transsexual and homosexuals to be accepted and embraced by
the Catholic Church (Squires, 2016). This statement resonates with a comment by
Kempadoo (2009, p. 5) that the literature and discussions around sex relationships are
less about identity and more about activity. Within this context the words of Pope Francis
may be interpreted to mean that the sex-identity of a person is acceptable to the Catholic
Church but the sexual activities of those in same-sex relationships are not acceptable to
the Catholic Church. There is Caribbean literature on the prevalence and practice of
same-sex relationships and this can be found in the works of Alexander (2005) who also
discussed feminist and state practice in the Bahamas tourist economy (1997) and in the
publications of men who have sex with men (MSM) Gosine (2009 a).

Bisexuality
Bisexuality has been described in layman’s terms as the romantic attraction, sexual
attraction, or sexual behaviour of one person toward both males and females. This
preference is also referred to as pansexuality and is not a new phenomenon as sexologists
and anthropologists documented this preference in social relationships since the early
20 Century (Lyons & Lyons, 2004 as cited in Callis, 2014, p. 66). Callis (2014) discussed
th

pansexuality and bisexuality but also introduced the terms ‘queer’, ‘heteroflexible’, and
‘bi-curious’ as well as borderland theory which refers, “to the creation and maintenance
of identities that fall outside of cultural norms,” (Callis, 2014, p. 68). She attributed their
higher visibility and social acceptability when the media, as a reflection of society, began
to include television characters who were bisexual and LGBT in their programming.
Such popular programmes include Grey’s Anatomy, Bones, House and Glee. Music videos
also include bi-sexual characters and images. Callis stated that the term bi-sexual is
marked by fluidity and shifting boundaries which she refers to as sexual borderland. Her
insights into this sexual borderland and the world of the bisexual was derived from semi-
structured interviews with 80 individuals who self classified as straight, gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and queer and who resided in Kentucky, USA. What is the incidence of
bisexuality in the Caribbean context? Anderson-Minshall (2012) reported the results of
an Internet study which attracted a sample of 2,560 men in 33 Caribbean territories. The

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findings revealed that one in four Caribbean men described themselves as being
bisexual. One can reasonably speculate that this statistic would be higher than 25% if a
similar study were to be undertaken in 2017. Wekker (2006, 1993) discussed the case of
the Mati in Suriname. The Mati are working class women who typically have children
and engage in sexual relationships with men and women. Wekker explained that the
Surinamese ‘women-who-love-women’ often engage in heterosexual relations through
marriage, for child bearing purposes, or to avoid attention or stigma.

Sex Change
Some individuals, born definitely male or female, opt to have a gender preference. The
DSM-V discusses gender dysphoria, which is not a mental disorder, but is defined as a
condition where a person identifies himself or herself with the opposite of his or her
biological sex. They come to the attention of mental health authorities if gender
dysphoria causes depressed mood. Such individuals are often given counselling as part
of their gender reassignment or sex change programme. Jowelle de Souza of Trinidad
and Tobago is recorded by Wikipedia and known in local circles for being the first
transsexual woman in Trinidad and Tobago. Helgeson (2012, p. 7) defines transsexuals
as individuals who have a gender identity that does not correspond to their biological
sex but these persons have hormonal or surgical treatment to change their sex to
correspond with their gender identity. It is estimated that there are, “about two to three
times as many male to female transsexuals as female to male transsexuals” (Lawrence,
2008 as cited in Helgeson, 2012, p. 7). Born as a male, Joel de Souza, underwent gender
confirmation or sex reassignment surgery in Trinidad and Tobago in 1993 at the age of
19 years. She entered into the political arena in 2015 and had some support although her
detractors tended to be those in the religion arena (Wikipedia, 2017). Ms de Souza’s
reflections on gender and politics in Trinidad and Tobago can be seen in her YouTube
video cited below.

WATCH VIDEO
IGDS UWI St Augustine Unit. (2016, Feb 28). GDS Public Forum —
Reflecting on Gender and Politics — 3 Jowelle de Souza. [Video File].
Retrieved from
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jowelle+de+souza+i
nterview

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 LEARNING ACTIVITY 5.2
Reading and Reflection
Please read the article available at the link below.
LaFrance, M. Paluck, E.L. & Brescoll, V. (2004). Sex Changes: A Current
Perspective on the Psychology of Gender. In A. H. Eagly, A.E. Beall &
R. J. Sternberg (Eds.), The Psychology of Gender 2 ed. (pp. 328-344).
nd

London: The Guilford Press. Available at:

http://media.open.uwi.edu/PSYC2026/U5/eagly_2_PSYC2026_read
ing.pdf
By reading this article you will be able to:
• Challenge the notion that sex is purely a biological process and gender
is a sociocultural process
• Summarize how women were viewed relative to men since the 1970’s
• Define androgyny
• Recognize the shifting boundaries between masculinity and femininity
After reading the article discuss in 150 words in the Question and Answer
discussion forum what is meant by the statement, “Biological processes
are now viewed as both effects and causes of gender-related behavior.”
(LaFrance et al., 2004, p. 331) Respond to the post of one other colleague
in the discussion forum indicating your agreement or disagreement with
his or her opinion.

How Androgny Affects Gender Sexuality Today

Generally it is simple to distinguish male from female usually on the basis of the
reproductive organs and other distinguishing physical characteristics such as facial hair,
tone of voice and physique. When the distinctions are somewhat blurred the term
androgyny is used often alongside words like ‘ambiguous’ and pathological. The term
used to describe individuals with male and female genitals changed over time, from the
French philosopher Michael Foucault’s use of the term hermaphrodite to more
contemporary terms such androgynous, intersex and transgender. Foucault recorded the
life of Herculine Bardin who lived in 19 Century France. LaFrance reported that,
th

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 Barbin was among the first to be officially diagnosed with hermaphroditism
and the accounts left in ‘her’ memoirs offered the first personal account of
the hermaphroditic experience. (LaFrance, 2005, p. 162)

LaFrance et al. (2004, p. 330) suggested that the concept ‘androgyny’ initially offered a
way out of the problems associated with bipolar measurements of masculinity and
femininity but it failed to achieve this goal on several grounds. First, the shifting
construction of what the terms masculinity and femininity actually mean. Second, there
was little definitive evidence that androgynous individuals were less healthy than sex
typed individuals. Third, the value attached to androgyny responds to the context; for
example, it changes from abnormal and pathological to acceptable and praiseworthy
when an androgynous athlete wins an Olympian medal. Gradually, the term androgyny
was replaced with contemporary terms intersex and transgender in the last 2 years. These
terms illustrated the choices individuals made regarding how they wanted to live: as a
man, a woman or sometimes a man and other times a woman. Helgeson (2012, p. 7)
defined intersex persons as those persons who are born with ambiguous genitals. These
persons generally have surgery to alter their genitals so that they can be consistent
biologically. One famous intersex athlete is South African Olympian Caster Semenya
whose case is the subject of Learning Activity 5.3.

LEARNING ACTIVITY 5.3

Case Study – Reading and Video
Please read the article available at the link below.
Smith, R. (2016, Aug 19). Who is Caster Semenya? Should the ‘intersex’
athlete be ALLOWED to compete as a woman?, The Express UK,
Retrieved from
http://www.express.co.uk/sport/olympics/700091/rio-2016-
olympics-caster-semenya-intersex-runner-gender
By reading this article you will be able to:
• Have a better understanding of the genetic and physiological
markers used to distinguish gender.
• Recognize that gender is one label amongst others (age, race,
class) and other labels (such as an Olympian athlete) might be
more important than the label of gender.
• Gauge public sentiments and stereotypes towards persons who
do not conform to gender norms and have the label
androgynous.
• Recognize that androgynous persons are not resigned to living
in the shadows but are pursuing their activities under the glare
of the public spotlight.

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 Now view the video AdamAndEveNotSteve. (2017, Jan 9). Gender Row
Athlete Caster Semenya marries girlfriend in lavish ceremony. [Video
File]. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV61G-
XxVbw
In this video, some of the dilemmas of being androgynous are
mentioned.
After reading the article and watching the video you are required to
critically reflect on the public’s reaction to androgynous persons and to
prepare a post for use as a newspaper commentary. In this post, you
must:
1. Summarize in 150 words the comments offered by the
public in response to the newspaper article and the
commentary in the video. Are the comments favourable or
unfavourable? Do the commentators demonstrate an
understanding of the word androgynous?
2. Given your understanding of the psychology of gender and
androgyny, offer in 150 words your scientific understanding
of the term androgyny and the need for social tolerance of
androgynous persons.

Respond to the posting of at least one of your peers.

Session 5.1 Summary

In this session the discussion examined the differences between the biological and social
construction of gender. The various resources presented offered a wealth of information
that collectively challenged the binary view of sex as being exclusively male or female.
Instead, a case was made for a more flexible approach to understanding gender identities
and sexual orientation as individuals self-classify their gender and on occasions “choose”
their sex via gender reassignment. Precise definitions of terms such as intersex,
homosexual and bisexual that are often taboo in our West Indian conversations or loosely
defined were given a more precise definition from the published literature. The ways in
which laws and stakeholders in society either accommodate the variety of gender
identities now prevalent in society or discriminate against individuals with
unconventional gender identities, relationships and sexual preferences were mentioned.
In the next section the focus will be on conflict management, and while the discussion
emphasizes love, friendships and dissolving relationships in conventional heterosexual
arrangements, there is also intimate partner abuse and conflict in homosexual and bi
sexual relationships. In her report on Family Violence in the Caribbean Gibbons reminds us
that, “With the growing acceptance of same-sex intimate partnerships and marriage,
family violence also encompasses such confrontations within lesbian, gay and
transgender couples and their families.” (Gibbons, 2015, p. 2)

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Session 5.2

Relationships and Conflict

Management

Introduction
In Session 5. 2 the spotlight is on other aspects of relationships not dealt with in Session
1. What emerges from Session 5.1 as a prevailing theme in the unconventional
relationships is a sense of flexibility (as shown in the case of the Surinamese Mati) in
which individuals vary their behaviour to enable reproduction, happiness and survival
in response to changing situational demands. In this session, the discussion revolves
around the concepts of friendship, love, dissolving relationships and conflict
management.

Psychoanalytic of Psychodynamic Theory

This perspective focuses on the importance of childhood experiences as being crucial in
shaping children’s gender development and their adult personality. Freud believed that
the two main drivers of behaviour were sex and aggression with aggressive behaviour
being the manifestation of unconscious psychological processes such as wishes or
desires. Hence, actions that are driven by these unconscious forces may not always ‘make
sense’ to the aggressor. Persons who cause conflict in their relationships can undergo
treatment in the form of psychoanalysis to better understand himself or herself with the
assistance of a suitably qualified therapist. The therapist can help in extracting the
subconscious memories or repressed memories that resulted from traumas that drive the
offending behaviour. Some of these traumas include losing a parent at an early age and
being sexually or physically abused. Bornstein (2017) reported the emergence of object
relations theory in which the mental images or introjects of significant persons in one’s life
—such as parents– and the interactions with these significant others, serve as templates,
scripts or blueprints for relationships later in life. Thus secure attachment to parents and
family members, warm and positive nurturing will more likely lead to the formation of
similarly loving relationships later in life rather than conflicting relationships. This
introduction of mental imagery and family experiences into the framework of objects
relations theory is similar to imprinting in social learning theory.

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Friendship and Love
Friendship in this section is examined in a broad context and can cover those in non-
romantic homosexual or heterosexual friendships. Platonic relationships exist easily in
the workplace and the community and these may be the precursor to marriage or an
intimate relationship. To examine friendships that an individual develops, one can count
the number of friends that a person has in his or her network (the quantity of friends) or
examine the nature and function of the friendships such as the closeness and degree of
intimacy that might be present (the quality of the friendship). With the explosion of social
media platforms, individuals have much larger social networks in their virtual world
than they can form in actual life. The emphasis appears to be on the quantity of friends
that a person accumulates on Facebook which has a counter of friends or ‘followers’, or
likes and dislikes of posts. Instagram and other social media sites offer similar social
networks. A dispositional level of analysis was developed by Wright (2006) to explain
how a person’s sex or gender role can have an influence on their choice of friendships
and how support is expressed. Using the findings by Sheets and Lugar (2005) as
examples, Helgeson (2012) explained that dispositional analysis research led to findings
that women’s relationships are more intimate than men’s because they are more likely to
self-disclose than men and to share personal details. While females emphasise self-
disclosure, men bond on the basis of shared activities (such as sports and hobbies). It was
also suggested that women are more likely to respond to the problems of their friends
with sympathy while men respond with advice (Tannen, 1990 as cited in Helgeson, 2012,
p, 263). Helgeson (2012, p. 276) concluded that, “women have higher expectations of
friendships than men.”

There are an increasing number of friends with benefits relationships (FWBRs) which are
defined as, “relationships between cross-sex friends in which the friends engage in
sexual activity but do not define their relationship as romantic.” (Hughes, Morrison &
Asada, 2007, p. 49) Hughes et al. noted that these relationships are distinctive because
they combine the rewards of friendship with the benefits of a sexual relationship while
avoiding the responsibilities and commitments that accompany the usual sexual
relationships. To find out more about friends with benefits, read the resource
recommended in Learning Activity 5.4.

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 LEARNING ACTIVITY 5.4
Reading and Reflection
Please read the article below.
Hughes, M., Morrison, K. and Asada, K.J.K. (2005) What's love got to do
with it? Exploring the impact of maintenance rules, love attitudes,
and network support on friends with benefits relationships, Western
Journal of Communication, 69(1), 49-66, DOI:
10.1080/10570310500034154. Available via UWIlinC
By reading this article you will be able to:
• Identify the main characteristics of friends with benefits
relationships (FWBRs).
• Distinguish how friends with benefits relationships (FWBRs) differ
from other forms of relationships.
• After reading the article interview two of your friends for their
insights on (FWBRs). Reflect on how friends with benefits
relationships (FWBRs) differ from other forms of relationships. Is
this form of relationship likely to be a popular option in your social
network or community? Your reflection should be in 200 words; you
should post it in the graded discussion form, and you should also
respond to the posts of ONE of your peers.

Dissolving Relationships, Conflict Management and

Conflict Management Treatment
Relationships can be positive and functional as previously described in this Unit but not
all relationships maintain their smooth pathway. Persons who fall in love can also fall
out of love. In general, relationships may have a lifespan so it dissolves after its main
purpose or function has been attained. In a study conducted with US college students it
was found that females had shorter friendships than men did with their closest friends
(Johnson, 2004).

Psychologists focus a lot of attention and research to understand what makes

relationships functional and dysfunctional. The amount of time that men and women
spend in conflict management in their respective relationships, and whether there are
sex differences in the way that men and women express conflict or resolve their conflicts.
In reviewing the evidence Helgeson (2012) reported that since women spend more time
with their friends than men do, females report spending more time resolving conflicts in

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their non romantic relationship. Such relationships have been described as ‘fragile’
relationships (Thomas & Dauman, 2001 as cited in Helgeson, 2012, p. 276).

If conflict is inevitable in human interactions, how do men and women express and
resolve their conflict? It has been reported that women are more likely than men to make
compromises when conflict arises, and this occurs across many cultures (Holt & DeVore,
2005 as cited in Helgeson, 2012, p. 326). In her review of the data Helgeson, (2012, pp.
327-331) reported that men are more likely to use a forceful style when expressing
dissatisfaction than women. Expressions of conflict examined in an Israeli sample of
couples by Schwarzwald, Koslowsky and Ishak-Nir (2008) revealed two broad
categories: soft tactics (e.g. expression of disappointment or expression of appreciation
for compliance) and harsh tactics (e.g. threats, getting angry or emphasizing obligation).
In studies that asked couples to discuss their contentions in a laboratory setting for
analysis, women displayed more emotion about negative affect than men (Levenson,
2004). Gay and lesbian couples were more effective at addressing conflict than
heterosexual couples as they used more affect or humour and were less dominant when
discussing their conflict (Gottman, Levenson, Swanson et al., 2003).

In a study of homicides in Trinidad and Tobago during the period 1999-2002 it was found
that of the 633 murders reported to the Trinidad and Tobago Police Service in that 5 year
period, 95 (15%) were domestic homicides which occurred in the home and resulted from
a dispute or altercation (Hood & Seemungal, 2006, p. 15). Newspaper articles lament the
increasing use of gender based violence in domestic relationships. Kowlessar (2013)
documented data collected by the Crime and Problem Analysis Branch of the Trinidad
and Tobago Police Service and presented by the then Minster of Gender, Youth and Child
Development. The statistics revealed that in 2010 there were 940 reports of domestic
violence, of which 68.2 per cent were for assault by beating. It was also noted that many
cases of gender-based violence go unreported by victims for fear of being “re-victimised
in the process.” The process refers to agency response to reports of violence.

Conflict Management
“Conflict management must be viewed as part of a larger process of ensuring that man
lives in peace and in an orderly way; conflict should also be channeled towards positive
effect in every human society.” (National Open University of Nigeria, 2006, p. 2). One of
the aims of conflict management is to limit and avoid future violence by promoting
positive behavioural changes in the parties involved. Dispute resolution can be a formal
process when implemented in schools, the workplace or in the legal system but is often
more informally used in a domestic context. The resource guide of the National Open
University of Nigeria identified 3 approaches to managing conflict: the judicial approach,
the power-politics approach, and the conciliatory approach. You can read the key points
of each of these approaches in the resource at the link below:
https://archive.org/stream/THEORIESINCONFLICTMANAGEMENT/THEORIES%
20IN%20CONFLICT%20MANAGEMENT#page/n15/mode/2up

PSYC2026 – Gender and Psychology UNIT 5 – 2017_06_08_v1 84

Some everyday measures that can be followed to diffuse tensions and manage or prevent
conflict from escalating are mentioned in the video resource below.

WATCH VIDEO [ACTIVITY HEAD]

CCP, INC. (2014, Mar 5). Four tips for Managing Conflict, [Video File],
Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJiJ95mHftE

In this video, the reasons why conflict emerges are mentioned, along
with tips for resolving conflict.
After watching the video, you are required to critically reflect in 200
words how you would apply these tips to resolve conflict that arise
among your group members when you are preparing for the
collaborative, group based graded activities required in this course. Post
your comments in the discussion forum on the course page.

Session 5.2 Summary

This session focused on the dynamics of conflict, what it is, why it occurs and how it can
be managed. Conflict is regarded as being inevitable as it is normal in human
relationships, but it must be managed carefully to prevent distress or even a lethal
outcome. A gender based approach to understanding expressions of affect including
love, relationships, and conflict was outlined. Strategies for conflict management were
provided and you were encouraged to use these strategies for managing conflict in the
virtual classroom and in group-based activities.

PSYC2026 – Gender and Psychology UNIT 5 – 2017_06_08_v1 85

Unit 5 Summary

In this Unit the focus of discussion was the broad theme of relationships with key
discussions on the topic of gender and sexuality, as well as conflict management. The
main theories used to explain the development of gender-based attitudes and behaviour
were social learning theory and psychoanalytic theory. Despite the main premises of
these theories it is important to remember that neither theory is superior to the other
with respect to explaining how relationships emerge, why they dissolve and how
children derive their notions of masculinity and femininity. What is important is that
children and young persons do not allow gender based stereotypes to be a block to their
progress, aspirations and ambitions but are willing to forge new ground. By explaining
the borderlands of sexuality, it is providing the reader with a new understanding of
topics such as bi-sexuality and homosexuality which were once taboo. The next Unit
examines Gender Affect. It will outline the components of emotion, motivation as well as
gender and aggression. There is overlapping content between Units 5 and 6. From Unit
5 you were able to learn about gender differences in the expressions of conflict and this
will be elaborated upon in Unit 6.

PSYC2026 – Gender and Psychology UNIT 5 – 2017_06_08_v1 86

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