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FIFTH EDITION
THE
BIRTH
PARTNER
A COMPLETE GUIDE TO CHILDBIRTH FOR DADS,
DOULAS, AND OTHER LABOR COMPANIONS
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written per-
mission of the copyright owners. All images in this book have been reproduced with the
knowledge and prior consent of the artists concerned, and no responsibility is accepted by
producer, publisher, or printer for any infringement of copyright or otherwise, arising from the
contents of this publication. Every effort has been made to ensure that credits accurately
comply with information supplied. We apologize for any inaccuracies that may have occurred
and will resolve inaccurate or missing information in a subsequent reprinting of the book.
The Harvard Common Press titles are also available at discount for retail, wholesale, promo-
tional, and bulk purchase. For details, contact the Special Sales Manager by email at
specialsales@quarto.com or by mail at The Quarto Group, Attn: Special Sales Manager, 401
Second Avenue North, Suite 310, Minneapolis, MN 55401, USA.
21 20 19 18 17 1 2 3 4 5
ISBN: 978-1-55832-910-2
Photographs by Shutterstock (pages 19 and 60) and Patti Ramos (pages 236 and 363)
Cover illustration by Susie So
Drawings by Gayle Isabelle Ford; except pages 115, 174 (top left), 176, 177 (middle), 194, 249
(left), 252, 259, 350, and 378 by Dolly Sundstrom
Cover and text design by Laura H. Couallier, Laura Herrmann Design
Page layout by Tabula Rasa
Printed in China
. . . from katie
To each family I have supported in birth, for teaching me as much about
myself as they did the importance of birth;
To my teachers and mentors in birth, especially Penny Simkin, for
inspiring me and challenging me to lean into this work and the rewards
it brings;
To my mother, Molly, who is a doula to so many in her life, and who
taught me the meaning of presence and empathy;
To my father, John, who understands my brain and how it works, and
who is steadfast in his love and support;
To my VBs, Kelli, Amy, Selena, and Beth, for loving me, supporting
me, holding me accountable, and reminding me to laugh;
To my husband, Todd, my partner, my champion, who encourages
and supports me every day;
To Tess and Sam, the children of my heart, for teaching me about
grief, resilience, and the importance of being cared for in birth;
And most importantly, to my children of this life, Hank and Lily, who
are my heart, my breath, and my greatest teachers.
PA R T I N G WO R D S 417
R ECO M M E N D E D R E S O U RC E S 418
INDEX 428
I
’d like to explain what led me to write this book, now in
its fifth edition. The first edition was published in 1989, after I
learned some truths about what it means to give birth and what
it means to be a birth partner who deeply loves the person giving
birth. One of these truths is this: how one gives birth matters to one’s
self-confidence and self-esteem, to the baby’s long-term health, and to
one’s relationships with their partner, baby, and other loved ones.
This is as true today, with this fifth edition, as it was in 1989 and for
generations (even millennia) before.
Here’s another very important truth: how a person is cared for and
supported during birth is a major influence, not only in how they give
birth but also in how they feel about the birth for years to come. Yet,
medical care before and during childbirth focuses almost exclusively on
the physical safety of the baby and birthing person and places little
emphasis on their emotional well-being, relationship with the partner,
and readiness to parent. Such matters are given low priority in our very
expensive health care system, which is beset by nursing shortages, pres-
sure to increase the use of medical and surgical interventions while
increasing efficiency, reduction of psychosocial support services, threats
of malpractice lawsuits, and other factors that work against personal-
ized, flexible, family-centered care.
I learned the importance of emotional care during labor when, in
the late 1980s, I conducted a study of people’s long-term memories of
their experiences giving birth to their first child. These people had
attended childbirth classes I taught between 1968 and 1974. They had
sent me their birth stories shortly after giving birth. For my study, I con-
tacted some of those people fifteen to twenty years later and asked them
two things: to write their birth stories again as they remembered them
and to rate their satisfaction as they looked back on their childbirth
experiences.
8 |
| 9
10 | PREFACE
PREFACE | 11
—Penny Simkin
12 | PREFACE
W
e have had our share of support throughout the
process of revising this book. We want to thank the
following extraordinary people who have made it possible
for us to accomplish this in the midst of our busy lives:
Two people in Penny’s office have been extremely helpful: Kathy
Wilson has kept the office running smoothly, kept track of finances,
paid the bills, handled sales and shipping, and supported Penny’s birth
classes, all while continuing her own career as a childbirth and parent-
ing educator; Dolly Sundstrom, who has many talents, provided new
drawings for this edition, helped with updating our Recommended
Resources (page 418), and kept Penny’s library up to date, all while
attending university to become a clinical psychologist. Both brighten
the office with their competence and good cheer!
Penny’s colleagues and friends at the Simkin Center for Allied Birth
Vocations at Bastyr University have challenged her to provide more cul-
turally sensitive education. She is particularly grateful to Annie Kennedy,
Carrie Kenner, Sharon Muza, Teri Shilling, Kim James, and Laurie Levy.
The Pacific Association for Labor Support, DONA International,
and Great Starts Birth and Family Education, a program of Parent Trust
for Washington Children, share our values and play an important role
in our professional lives, as we follow our passion. Thanks especially to
Linda McDaniels, associate director of Parent Trust, for her continuing
support and inspiration.
We also want to acknowledge our dedicated and talented fellow
board members of PATTCh (Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic
Childbirth), who recognize the alarming incidence of traumatic birth
and join us in seeking ways to prevent it and to treat its potential nega-
tive emotional aftermath when it occurs. Our current board, Leslie
Butterfield, Annie Kennedy, Phyllis Klaus, Kathy McGrath, Suzanne
Swanson, Onion Medina Carillo, Mora Oommen, Sharon Storton, and
Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, have come together with us in this cause,
which is also one of the causes of this book.
| 13
14 | ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS | 15
T
he Birth Partner is intended to be both a useful guide to
prepare you for your role as birth partner and a quick refer-
ence during labor. It will be most helpful if you can read the
entire book before labor. Then, if there is time, you may
want to review parts of it during labor.
There may be times during labor when you need immediate help
and want to find something quickly in this book. Anticipating which
information you may need on the spot, we have printed such topics with
a dark orange background so they will stand out as you fan through the
pages. Fan the pages of the book and find those with dark edges. These
sections are as follows:
Chapter 1
Supplies to Take to the Hospital or Birth Center (page 33)
Supplies for a Home Birth (page 35)
Chapter 2
Signs of Labor (page 68)
If the Bag of Waters Breaks Before Labor Begins (page 71)
Timing Contractions (page 77)
Early Labor Record (page 79)
Chapter 3
When Do You Go to the Hospital or Settle in for a Home Birth? (page 95)
Normal Labor—in a Nutshell (page 138)
16 |
Chapter 5
The Take-Charge Routine (page 202)
On-the-Spot Coaching (page 206)
The Emergency Delivery (page 209)
Slow Progress in Active Labor and the Birthing Stage—
with or without Back Pain (page 221)
Incompatibility with the Nurse or Caregiver (page 233)
Chapter 7
Prolapsed Cord (page 290)
Chapter 8
When Are Pain Medications Used? (page 331)
Chapter 9
Know What to Expect During Cesarean Birth (page 346)
Please also refer to Recommended Resources (see page 418) to find other
recommended publications and online resources, including some videos.
| 17
18 |
one
| 19
E
arly in pregnancy, it seems that nine months are forever and
there is plenty of time to do everything that has to be done.
It is all too easy, especially for busy people, to postpone “getting
into” the pregnancy. Now, suddenly, the baby is almost due.
Time has flown by. As the pregnant person’s birth partner, you realize
you are being counted on you to help them through childbirth. Do you
feel ready? Can you help? What do you know about labor? Do you know
what to do when? What should you do now to get ready for the baby? The
last months of pregnancy are a perfect time to learn these things, but
you had better start right away—a month or two before the due date is
truly the “last minute,” especially as many babies arrive early. This first
20 |
| 21
22 | PA RT O N E : B E F O R E T H E B I RT H
24 | PA RT O N E : B E F O R E T H E B I RT H
26 | PA RT O N E : B E F O R E T H E B I RT H
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
36.
37.
38.
39.
40.
Betyde mee lyfe or death I desperatly ran,
And ioyned mee in battayle with this earle so stoute,
But fortune so him fauoured that hee the battayle wan,
With force and great power I was beset about:
Which when I did beholde, in midst of the whole route,
With dint of sword I cast mee on him to be reuenged,
Where in the midst of them my wretched life I ended.
41.
42.
Loe, heare you may behold the due and iust rewarde
Of tyranny and treason, which God doth most detest:
For if vnto my duety I had taken regarde,
I might haue liued still in honour with the best,
And had I not attempt the thing that I ought leste:
But desyre to rule, alas, did mee so blinde,
Which caused mee to doe agaynst nature and kynde.
43.
F. Seg.[1778]]
[When I had read this, we had much talke about it. For it was
thought not vehement enough for so violent a man as king Richard
had bene. The matter was well enough liked of some, but the meetre
was misliked almost of all. And when diuers therefore would not
allowe it, “What,” quoth[1779] one, “you know not wherevpon you
sticke: els you would not so much mislike this because of the
vncertaine meeter. The cumlines called by the rhetoricians decorum,
is specially to bee obserued in all thinges. Seing than that king
Richard neuer kept measure in any of his doings, seeing also hee
speaketh in hell, whereas is no order: it were against that[1780]
decorum of his personage, to vse either good meetre or order. And
therefore if his oration were farre worse, in my opinion it were more
fit for him. Mars and the muses did neuer agree. Neither is to be
suffered, that their milde sacred arte should seeme to proceede from
so cruell and prophane a mouth as his: seeing they themselues doe
vtterly abhorre it. And although wee read of Nero, that hee was
excellent both in musicke and in versifying, yet doe not I remember
that euer I sawe any song or verse of his making: Minerua iustly
prouiding, that no monument should remayne of any such vniust
vsurpation. And therefore let this passe euen as it is, which the writer
I know both could and would amend in many places, saue for
keeping the decorum, which he purposely hath obserued herein.” “In
deede,” quoth[1781] I, “as you say: it is not meete that so disorderly
and vnnaturall a man as king Richard was, should obserue any
metricall order in his talke: which notwithstanding in many places of
his oration is very well kepte: it shall passe therefore euen as it is,
though too good for so euill[1782] a person.”[1783] Then they willed
mee to reade the blacke Smith. “With a good will,” quoth I: “but first
you must imagin that you see him standing on a ladder ouer shrined
with the Tyburne, a meete stage for all such rebelles and traytours:
and there stoutly saying as followeth.”]
The wilfvll fall of the blacke Smith,
and the foolishe ende of the Lorde
Awdeley, in Iune, Anno 1496.[1784]
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
Such is the courage of the noble hart,
Which doth despise the vile and baser sort,
Hee may not touch that sauers of the cart,
Him listeth not with ech jacke lout to sport,
Hee lets him passe for payring of his porte:
The iolly egles catch not litle flees,
The courtly silkes match seelde with homely frees.
12.
13.
14.
16.
17.
18.