Module 2. Attraction Love and Commitment - Docx 20240408 152347 0000
Module 2. Attraction Love and Commitment - Docx 20240408 152347 0000
Module 2. Attraction Love and Commitment - Docx 20240408 152347 0000
Quarter 2 – Module 2:
Personal Relationship – Attraction, Love, and
Commitment
Module 2
Personal Development
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Ramonito Elumbaring
Reicon C. Condes
Elaine T. Balaogan
Cristina C. Salazar
Priscilla V. Salo
Bernadette B. Patag
Rosanito S. Paras
Rochene I, Garcia
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Personal Development
Quarter 2 – Module 2:
Personal Relationship –
Attraction, Love, and Commitment
Introductory Message
This Self-Learning Module (SLM) is prepared so that you, our dear learners, can continue your
studies and learn while at home. Activities, questions, directions, exercises, and discussions are
carefully stated for you to understand each lesson.
Each SLM is composed of different parts. Each part shall guide you step-bystep as you discover and
understand the lesson prepared for you.
Pre-tests are provided to measure your prior knowledge on lessons in each SLM. This will tell you if
you need to proceed on completing this module or if you need to ask your facilitator or your teacher’s
assistance for better understanding of the lesson. At the end of each module, you need to answer the
post-test to self-check your learning. Answer keys are provided for each activity and test. We trust
that you will be honest in using these.
In addition to the material in the main text, Notes to the Teacher are also provided to our facilitators
and parents for strategies and reminders on how they can best help you on your home-based
learning.
Please use this module with care. Do not put unnecessary marks on any part of this SLM. Use a
separate sheet of paper in answering the exercises and tests. And read the instructions carefully
before performing each task.
If you have any questions in using this SLM or any difficulty in answering the tasks in this module, do
not hesitate to consult your teacher or facilitator.
Thank you.
This material was crafted to give you – learners, the right amount of assistance for you to absorb and
acquire all the necessary concepts and nature comprising oneself. Lessons are bounded on the
performance and content standard, learning competencies and level of the learners. This also used
languages appropriate to the understanding of the varied types of students’ learning acquisition.
Sequence of the lessons adhered to the arrangement of the competencies as reflected on the
DepEd’s curriculum guide for this course.
What I Know
Choose the letter of the best answer. Write the chosen letter on a separate sheet of paper.
1. What component of attraction refer to when people tend to be influenced by what they see?
physical appearance
proximity
reciprocity
similarity
1. Which component of love consists affective variables like emotional support and caring?
romantic love C. intimacy
commitment D. passion
1. Which among the choices below is NOT considered as one of the ways in expressing
commitment with others?
empathy C. respect
trust D. secrecy
1. What component of attraction is being described when people usually tend to choose others to
be with them because they have things in common?
physical appearance C. similarity
proximity D. reciprocity
1. What do you call a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties?
love C. commitment
respect D. attraction
1. Which of the following is NOT one of the types of love according to R. Sternberg?
infatuation C. companionate
reciprocity D. fatuous
1. It consists of physiological and affective variables like physical attraction and emotional
responses that promote physical changes.
commitment C. passion
intimacy D. romantic love
1. In this attachment style, the child used to receive right affection from parent.
Making time for one another is vital to keep the relationship healthy and the process of give and take
are great ways to sustain a relationship (Miller, 2008).
Indeed, any relationship needs to be dealt with mindful and careful consideration of things, whatever
kind of relationship it might be. Keeping a good relationship with people will help you grow in some
ways.
In this lesson, we will try to know how people express feelings and emotions toward others. By having
careful reflections on the ways, we do to express out attraction, love, and commitment.
What’s In
For you to realize how you express your affection with your various relationships, kindly
accomplish the activity that follows.
Below are different expressions of yours toward other people. Now, think of a particular person
that first comes in your mind when you feel such expression. Put their name under each face or just
write how you are related to them (example: “Jose” or if you want, just “best friend”). Write your
answers on a separate sheet of paper with a brief explanation. After the given time, explain your
answer to the facilitator or to your classmates.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
—Lao Tzu
Having and building relationship with others is natural, yet sometimes, it could be challenging and
confusing.
In this module, you will learn that there are elements hidden behind the idea of being in a
relationship with others, how it starts, and how it grows. By discussing and defining some important
concepts, you will be able to gain ideas on important these factors are to personal relationship.
Attraction
The Merriam-Webster dictionary, collegiately defined attraction as: the action or power of evoking
interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something; and a quality or feature that evokes interest,
liking, or desire.
Having this definition, it could be said that attraction is a positive connection between two or more
people that share something in common, like interests, likes/dislikes, or desires. Some qualities may
catch your attention, and which could spark a certain kind of relationship.
When you have a positive attitude or evaluation regarding a particular person in relation to different
components, that is interpersonal attraction. For many, interpersonal attraction relates only between
two people having an intimate and romantic relationship. However, it is not only limited to such since
it may also transpire between friends, colleagues, family members, and others.
There are a lot of key components of attraction that may be the reason for someone liking others.
Some of those are:
Physical Attractiveness
Attractive people draw out a more positive first impression. Initially, people tend to be influenced by
what they see. Even the younger ones prefer to look at faces those adults consider attractive rather
than at opposite ones (Langlois, et.al. 1991). Our perception of beauty, though, differs from one
another since it can be influenced by culture, educational background, social status, etc. Everyone
has his/her idea of what or who is attractive based on physical appearance.
Facial features like the shape and color of the eyes, the nose, the lips, and even the cheekbones and
jaw have an impact when talking with another person or people; the built of the body, the color of the
hair, the complexion, the smoothness of the skin, and the smile also may be considered with impact
as these are the first things available elements presented even without interaction. It could also be
added that certain similarities in facial and bodily symmetry or resemblance with anyone they knew,
with someone they like, or with a person they used to talk with, could also be determinants of liking
another person or people.
Similarity
When you are asked by your teacher to select a partner for an activity, who do you usually choose?
Why? The common answer might be a friend who used to be with you, perhaps, because there is a
connection between the two of you that you do not have with others. We can say that you are “on the
same wavelength” that is why you find it easy to get along with him/her because you share the same
interests and opinions.
Many researches support that similarity causes attraction. Oftentimes, people classify other people
based on information they already knew about them. That is social categorization, wherein, people
mentally group others on where they belong and that with the same characteristics with them, like
group age, religion, personality, attitude, social status, or education. Thus, this social categorization
has a negative effect. When people rely too much on that mentality, it results to stereotyping, where
someone is being judged by others only because they were part of a specific group they knew and
not based on who he/she is.
Proximity
One of the important aspects of any relationship is distance. Proximity pertains to physical distance
with other people and it is related to functional distance (how often people interact or communicate
with each other). The more you encounter or interact with the person, the more you allow yourself to
get to know him/her better which leads to a better relationship like friendship or intimate relationship.
Most likely, the people always near you just like your classmate or neighbor has a big tendency to
become your friend.
Reciprocity
We tend to get along with people or with someone whom we have the same feelings toward. It is
called reciprocity. It is when feelings with someone are being reciprocated or returned in the same
way as you do. According to Brannan and Mohr, authors of one of the modules of in the book of
Together: The Science of Social Psychology, “Another way to think of it is that relationships are built
on a give and take; if one side is not reciprocating, then the relationship is doomed”. These may
happen in any relationship, with friends, classmates, family members, or romantic partners.
The attraction is something that may happen in different ways, with different people, and in
different circumstances, and may lead to a much deeper connection or relation with others.
Love
It appears that the word Love has many meanings. Some definitions in the Meriam-Webster
dictionary are:
1. (a) strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;
a. attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers;
b. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
2. An assurance of affection
Any discussion about love piques the curiosity and interest of young adults your age. It may differ
depending on one’s experience and knowledge of love, though. Sometimes, it may affect the
emotional and psychological being of a person, thus influencing his/her emotion toward another. This
emotional bond depends on the presence or absence of support from others.
According to Sue Carter and Stephen Porges, “love is one of the important components of a complex
neurochemical system that allows the body to adapt to highly emotional situations”. Some elements
are responsible for the deep and strong bonds of a person with others that resulted to love.
One of the accountable chemicals for the connection of two individuals like between mother and child
inside her womb and even after giving birth is Oxytocin (Keverne, 2006). It is a peptide also known as
the love hormone, a female reproduction hormone, which helps to deepen the connection between
mother and child through breastfeeding. It is transmitted to the brain tissue of the child that allows and
creates a strong bond between them. This is the reason why it is considered as the first form of love.
Together with Oxytocin, Endorphin, Serotonin, and Dopamine are so-called “feel good” chemicals that
promote strong connections/bonds between people since it releases during happy moments.
Another element that promotes love is Vasopressin. It is also a peptide that conveys the behavior of
an individual’s social engagement (Kenkel et al, 2012). One of its roles is to produce a behavior of
developing stable, loving, and long-term relationship with others.
The studies of Cohen 2007; Fisher et. al, 2009 explained that the serotonin production of newly-
in-love individuals increases up to 40% just like with the brain of a drug addict. And, when a person
experiences heartbreak, the brain processes just like an addict quitting a heroin habit.
Dr. Charles Strangor, he explained Robert Sternberg’s proposed Triangular Model of Love. It says
that there are seven (7) different types of Love, and each type consists of the combinations of
variables (Cognitive, Physiological and Affective variables) that are specified in Three (3) different
components/factors: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. (see figure 1)
Intimacy is consisting of affective variables such as closeness, caring, and emotional support;
Passion consists of physiological and affective variables like physical attraction, emotional responses
that promote physiological changes, and sexual arousal; and Commitment is a cognitive process and
decision to dedicate love to another individual with the willingness to keep the relationship lasts
(Brannan, D. & Mohr, C. D., 2020)
INTIMACY
Liking
alone)
COMMITMENT
Figure 1: Robert Sternberg’s Triangular (Theory) Model of Love, adapted from the book of Principles of Social Psychology
– 1st International Edition of Dr. Charles Strangor.
Since love has its different types, we could say that it may happen any time, to any individual, at a
different level with people around us like friends, classmates, neighbors, family members, etc. The
quality of a relationship is how both partners relate to each other. There are different ways in showing
love with our loved ones or partners and are emphasized in Three (3) attachment styles we display
when we interact with our parents, our friends, and our romantic partners (Eastwick & Finkel, 2008).
Secure Attachment Style – a healthy style wherein the children used to receive care and easily
communicate with the parents since they feel that they are always available to listen and keep them
safe. Anxious/ambivalent Attachment Style - when children are lacking or seeking more affection from
parents because they are too dependent on them. Avoidant Attachment Style – it is when children are
distant to the parent/s, sometimes due to unpleasant experiences. These attachment styles have a
big effect or impact on how an individual perceived and expresses behavior with or towards others.
Commitment
You already have an idea of what attraction is, how it happens, and how it grows, also the types
of love and how each type related and comprised with. Now, let us have the commitment and how
this thing may happen and how it will last.
Dr. Rajiv Jhangiani and Dr. Hammond Tarry reiterated the Slotter et al., 2011 that “commitment
refers to the feelings and action that keep partners working together to maintain the relationship”. Any
relationship will last through the cooperation of both parties, without this, the relationship will not last
and ends with breaking up.
Commitment is a choice, a long and not an easy process that needs to be participated by you
and your partner
What is It
Various people have a certain impact in different aspects of your life. It may be different in level and
differ from who or how that person relates to our life.
Expressing our attraction, love, and commitment to a specific person is different on how we express it
with a different set of people. A good example of this is how you might be open in expressing your
admiration with your romantic partner yet be discreet or reserved in saying or expressing your feeling
with your family members. This difference may be interpreted differently by others, as well. For
whatever reasons, even non-verbally, expressing our love to our support system (people dear to us)
is important and we should continuously communicate with them and never fail to express that we are
grateful with them being in our side.
Below are some collected ideas on how to exercise expressing affections and developed into a
commitment for any kinds of relationship. These may serve as tips on how to keep healthy
relationships with others.
Stay happy. Happiness gives you the feeling of satisfaction for both abstract and concrete things.
Be empathic. Empathizing with another is acting with greater cooperation and overall selflessness—
the desire to help, even at a potential cost to the self.
Always trust. Working with others toward a common goal requires a level of faith that others will
repay our hard work and generosity. Supporting their interests is also showing your trust.
Show respect. People are likely to give respect to others by being polite, honest, and by showing
kindness all the time.
Be a helping hand. In times of trouble (e.g., mentally/ emotionally), make him/her feel that he/she
always has you on his/her side.
Sources:
Charles Stangor, Rajiv Jhangiani, Hammond Tarry (2013) Initial Attraction; Similarity, Proximity, Reciprocity, Principles of Social Psychology – 1ST
INTERNATIONAL EDITION, 302-312
Brannan, D. & Mohr, C. D. (2021). Love, friendship, and social support. In R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener (Eds),
Noba textbook series: Psychology. Champaign,IL: DEF publishers. Retrieved from http://noba.to/s54tmp7k
What’s More
For you to be able to strengthen your understanding on our topic, let us have the activity which will
provide you an opportunity to identify how teenagers from the past expressed their affections
compared to your generation and its importance.
A. Talk to a 50-year-old individual on how teenagers express their attraction, love, and commitment
toward others during their times.
B. Ask your parent/guardian or an older one for what they have experienced from the past and
what are their observations in today’s generation on their ways of showing and expressing their
attraction, love, and commitment with others.
C. After doing A & B, compare it with your own opinion and share it by presenting your work with
your classmates and/or teacher/facilitator.
D. You are opted to use any materials that you think may help you show you creativity in
presenting your list. You can use but are not limited to any sheet of paper. Please also be reminded
that the maximum number of pages for your work is 2-3 pages.
E. Your work will be graded based on the clarity of idea and the way you presented in class or with
your teacher.
1.2 As Appreciation
Giving something to a person dear to you is a sign of appreciation. This is also counted as
expressing affections towards others. The value of an object or thingis measured by its appreciation
than its monetary amount. Now, let us show appreciation to others by giving them something that is
precious to you.
Think at least two (2) objects or things that are very much important to you. Write the name of each
object in a 1/8 sheet together with its recipient. After the given time, share your reasons with your
selected classmate or if applicable, with the members of your family.
What I Have Learned
One of the objectives of this module is for you to understand the concept and importance of letting
yourselfexpress your attraction, love and commitment to others. Some up your gained ideas and
knowledge by completing the statements in each box below.
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I realized ________________________________________________________________________
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My plan _________________________________________________________________________
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What I Can Do
In this activity, you are going to express your best way of expressing your attraction love or showing
commitment to someone by creating a mini poster out of cut-outs from magazines, newspapers, or
other printed materials. Your mini poster should be done on a short bond paper and must showcase
your ways of expressing affections to develop a long term-relationship. Write a brief explanation of
your work at the back of your mini poster.
Name: {Title} Section:
Assessment
Multiple Choice. Choose the letter of the best answer. Write the chosen letter on a separate sheet of
paper.
1. What do you call the feelings and action that keep partners working together to maintain a
relationship?
a. Affection a. Commitment
b. Attraction b. Love
1. According to Sue and Porges, it is one of the important components of a complex neurochemical
system that allows the body to adapt to highly emotional situation.
a. Affection c. Commitment
b. Attraction d. Love
1. It happens when the feeling is being returned by someone the same way as you do.
a. Physical appearance c. Reciprocity
b. Proximity d. Similarity
1. Which of the following is a cognitive process and decision to dedicate love to another individual
with willingness to keep it lasts?
a. Affection
b. Attraction
c. Commitment
d. Love
1. It is an element that help promote love that produces a behavior of loving and lasting
relationship.
a. Oxydicin
b. Endorphin
c. Serotonin
d. Vasopressin
Additional Activities
The following components of attractions are the reasons of someone in liking others. Based on you
own characteristics and understanding of yourself, how do you usually get easily attracted to
someone? Arrange the components of attraction by putting numbers 1 to 4, 1 will be your most
common and usual reasons you got attracted and explain your reasons. Write your answers in a
separate sheet.
Components of Rank Reason
Attractions
Physical
Attractiveness
Proximity
Reciprocity
Similarity
References
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/attraction.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love
Jhangiani , Dr. Rajiv, and Dr. Hammond Tarry. Principles of Social Psychology – 1ST
INTERNATIONAL EDITION : Charles Stangor, Rajiv Jhangiani,
Hammond Tarry : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming.” Internet Archive, Accessed June 8, 2020,
https://archive.org/details/PrinciplesOfSocialPsychology.
Brannan, D, and C. D. Mohr. Love, Friendship, and Social Support. Noba. IL: DEF publishers.
Accessed June 8, 2020. https://nobaproject.com/modules/lovefriendship-and-social-support.
Carter, S., and S. Porges. Biochemistry of Love. Noba. IL: DEF publishers, 2020. Accessed June 9,
2020, https://nobaproject.com/modules/biochemistry-oflove.
Notes to the Teacher As facilitator kindly ask the learner to answer the questions to deepen their
understanding on the topic before allowing him/her to proceed with the activity. You may ask the questions
below or opt to use your preferred questions. 1. What type of love are you experiencing right now? Why
did you say so? 2. How do you show your attraction, love and commitment to your loved ones? Enumerate
each. 3. Given the chance to advise others how they can express their commitment for the relationship to
last, what would that be and why?
Notes to the Teacher As facilitator kindly ask the learner to discuss his/her output by sharing the result and
his/her insights with the activities or you may ask questions. (sample questions) 1. What are your ways in express
your attraction for someone? 2. How you express your love to someone?