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Writing Task 2 - Part 1

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LESSON 1: A ONE-SENTENCE ARGUMENT

I. One conclusion or many conclusions?


A typical essay consists of an introduction followed by several body paragraphs and a conclusion. This type of
conclusion summarises your overall argument and position thus ‘concluding,’ or finishing, your essay. However,
the body of your essay will contain a different type of conclusion. A more detailed explanation of the word
argument can help explain this idea.

An argument is defined as a reason (or set of reasons) given in support of an idea or position. This definition helps
to understand something rather confusing: your essay should present an overall argument, which is itself made up
several shorter arguments.

Each of these shorter arguments must be clearly explained, organised, and linked together, to create a whole.
These arguments form the ‘main ideas’ in your essay. If any of them are unclear, then you cannot present clear
progression, or clear position, throughout your essay.

The shorter arguments, or main ideas, that make up the body paragraphs of your essay should consist of a
conclusion and your reason for believing it. It is this type of conclusion that is referred to in the Task response
criterion (‘ the conclusion may become unclear ’ – band 6). These conclusions are often the first and last sentences
in a paragraph, but it is important to understand that you are presenting this type of conclusion every time you
make a point, or give your point of view. To avoid confusion, in later lessons, I will mainly refer to these as points
or main ideas, but first we’ll explore how they function as argument and conslusion.

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II. A one-sentence argument

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III. What makes a conclusion or an idea unclear?

QUESTION

Which statements present a clear, valid argument, and which statements are confusing and unclear? clear, valid
unclear or argument confusing

1. It is very cloudy, so there could be a storm soon.

2. Students' academic results will increase when they have a peaceful place to study.

3. Mountain gorillas are an endangered species, so they could be extinct within a few years.

4. Many people dislike sport because there are not many sports facilities in their area.

5. People become distracted when they are using a mobile phone, so it should be illegal to use one when driving.

6. There are a wide range of jobs that robots will never be able to do, and they will eventually replace humans in
most jobs.

EXPLAINATION

2) Students’ academic results will increase when they have a peaceful place to study.

Surely this will not apply to all students who have a peaceful place to study? What about other issues such as
teahers, books and resources?

4) Many people dislike sport because there are not many sports facilities in their area. How can a lack of sports
facilities show that people dislike sport?

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6. There are a wide range of jobs that robots will never be able to do, and they will eventually replace humans in
most jobs.

If there are so many jobs that robots cannot do, how can they eventually replace most humans?

It is sometimes more difficult to spot problems like this because the argument is made in separate sentences
within the paragraph with other ideas in between.

Look at the following examples:

1) Mountain gorillas are an endangered species. In fact, there are fewer than 800 left in the wild and their habit is
shrinking each year. They may even be extinct within a few years.

2) Robots will eventually replace humans in most jobs. It is more convenient for businesses to use the robots as
they do not need holidays or become sick. There are a wide range of jobs that robots will never be able to do.

The first argument is clear, but the second is confusing because it makes two contradictory points: robots will
replace humans in

most jobs, AND there are many jobs that robots cannot do.

If we apply critical thinking to our ideas before we begin writing, we can check whether they are logically
connected and make necessary changes to present them clearly:

Some people believe that robots will eventually replace humans in most jobs. After all, they can reliable than
humans and do not become sick or need holidays. Nevertheless, there are still a wide range of jobs that robot
will never be able to do.

A further common problem occurs when the writer makes a logical leap between ideas, and provides no
reasoning and expecting reader to infer too much. For example:

Students’ academic results can increase if they have a peaceful place to study.

To show the reader that this is a reasonable conclusion, the writer needs to explain how or why they believe this
may occur.

The environment we study in is important. If there is too much noise, it can be very difficult to concentrate. In
fact, even making sure that students have a peaceful place to study can improve their academic result.

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IV. Language problems
Sometimes an idea is unclear because of language problems. These may be related to grammar, vocabulary, or a
combination of both. Look at the following example:

Primary level children are more sharp and their grasping power to learn something new is fast.

In spite of the language problems, we can still follow the idea. As a result, coherence is not affected, and the
writer’s argument and position are relatively clear. However, the same cannot be said about this example:

Hence, it is convenient for them to influence people for any service.

Here, the language problems do interfere with the meaning and our ability to follow the argument. Even knowing
the context doesn’t help – the essay was discussing whether there are more benefits or more problems to being
famous – and the sentences before and after did not make the point any clearer.

Word choice can also have an impact on the validity of an argument. The following is typical of the many band 6.5
essays I see that feature extreme language:

On the societal level, the results may be catastrophic if this is the case.

A catastrophe is a sudden event that causes a great deal of trouble or destruction, but the topic of this essay is
whether countries are becoming more similar because people can now buy the same things in different countries.
It would be very difficult to provide a logical argument to show that this development is ‘catastrophic.’ Words like
this will only act as useful tools in your argument if you understand when and how to use them appropriately (use
less common lexical items with some awareness of style – 7 LR).

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GUIDELINES

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LESSON 2: CREATING DIFFERENT TYPES OF ARGUMENT

I. arguments Arguing by adding information

II. clarifying Arguing ideas by showing cause and effect

III. Arguing and giving by examples predicting a result or effect

I. Arguing by adding information


Now that we understand what a clear argument is, we can look at how to create one, paying particular attention
to the language needed to do this.

There are several different ways to build an argument. The choice will depend on the ideas that occur to you when
planning your essay – it cannot be decided in advance. This is because your ideas shape your argument, which
then determines the language you must use. This cannot happen in reverse, beginning with the language, which is
why a fixed template approach will not work.

When creating an argument:

One way to build a clear argument is by presenting the different reasons that, when added together, led you to
your conclusion. As you will see later on, in my planning, I use a plus sign (+) to show arguments like this.

Words and phrases often used in this type of argument are:

Firstly, Secondly, Thirdly, In addition, Similarly, also, etc.

Before writing your own argument like this, we will look at a model and use critical thinking to identify the ideas
within the argument and to understand how the ideas are connected.

Points to notice:

There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. Firstly, the money raised can be used to build new
roads or public buildings. Secondly, existing infrastructure, such as schools and hospitals, can be updated or

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repaired. Finally, these funds are needed to pay the salaries of all government workers, including firefighters
and the police. Thus, taxes help improve the community while also making it safer.

1. The 'evidence' is the reason why I believe a conclusion is valid or reasonable, so the three reasons given in this
paragraph are my supporting evidence. I used my experience and knowledge of the world to think of these, which
is what the task tells us to do. The conclusions, or the points I make, are my personal views about what this
evidence shows or tells us. Remember, each of these conclusions, or points, reveals my position on this issue – if
the reasons I give to support these points are unclear or illogical (as we saw in the previous lesson), then my
position and conclusions will also be unclear. If this evidence is missing, my ideas will be both unclear and
undeveloped.

2. The points I make (my conclusions) are broad, general ideas (e.g. Taxes help make the community safer ). In
contrast, the reasons given are more specific, and they provide concrete supporting evidence to support my ideas
(e.g. Taxes are used to pay the salaries of firefighters ). Notice also that I was able to provide supporting evidence
without using the phrase ‘ For example .’

3. Notice my use of referencing in this paragraph (the way that I refer back to previous ideas). In the practice
exercise, I used the word ‘taxes’ repeatedly, but if you look at my paragraph, you will see that I used synonyms to
avoid repeating this word. This helps with your Coherence and cohesion score, and shows how building your
vocabulary helps improve your writing score.

REMEMBER: DON’T USE THESE TEMPLATE.

Essay Structure
Introduction Main Body Paragraph 1 Main Body Paragraph 2

1- Paraphrase Question 1- Topic Sentence 1- Topic Sentence

2- Give your opinion and 2- Explain Topic Sentence 2- Explain Topic Sentence
outline the main ideas.
3- Example 3- Example

Conclusion

1- Summary of main
points and opinion

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OR

Introduction Main Body Paragraph 1 Main Body Paragraph 2


(Stronger Side) (Weaker Side)
Sentence 1- Paraphrase Sentence 4- Topic
question Sentence Sentence 10- Topic
Sentence
Sentence 2- Thesis Sentence 5- Explain
statement (state which why it is strong Sentence 11- Explain
one outweighs the why it is not strong
other) Sentence 6- Example
Sentence 12- Example
Sentence 3- Outline Sentence 7- Topic
sentence Sentence Conclusion

Sentence 8- Explain Sentence 13- Summary


why it is strong of main points and
restate position.
Sentence 9- Example

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Adding emphasis
The language used in this argument tells the reader that each reason is equally important. However, we
sometimes want to show that one reason is more important than the others, as in the following example.

There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. In terms of infrastructure,
the money raised can be used to build new roads or public buildings, or to maintain
existing structures such as schools and hospitals. More importantly , these funds are
needed to pay the salaries of all government workers, including firefighters and the
police. Thus, taxes not only help improve the community but also make it safer.

The phrases in bold are used to show my position, which can be summed up as: there are several good reasons for
collecting taxes, and I believe that safety is the most important of these. Other phrases you may find useful when
making an argument like this are:

Moreover, Furthermore, What is more, Even more importantly.

Notice that I did not use a connecting phrase between the first two sentences – the link between them is made
clear through the use of referencing (‘the money raised’ refers back to ‘collects taxes’). As we have seen, some
writers go even further, omitting even more connecting words and phrases. As well as removing clear signposting,
this also creates a different tone in the writing, and sometimes goes too far.

To show the effect this has, read the following two versions out loud:

Version 1

There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. Firstly, the money raised can be
used to build new roads or public buildings. Secondly, existing infrastructure, such as schools and
hospitals, can be updated or repaired. Finally, these funds are needed to pay the salaries of all
government workers, including firefighters and the police.
Version 2

There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. The money raised can be used to
build new roads or public buildings. Existing infrastructure, such as schools and hospitals, can be
updated or repaired. The funds are needed to pay the salaries of all government workers,
including firefighters and the police.
As a reader, which style do you prefer? The second version represents the limit on omitting connecting phrases – if
we omit any more then we create problems with coherence and cohesion (the under-use of cohesive devices
mentioned at band 7). This style is far more difficult for language learners to master, and is not one that I
recommend you use – it will not boost your score. Your reader always needs clear signposting, and it is important
to remember that the examiner is looking for evidence of this.

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Version 3

There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. The money raised can be
used to build new roads or public buildings. Existing infrastructure, such as schools and
hospitals, can also be updated or repaired. Furthermore, the funds are needed to pay the
salaries of all government workers, including firefighters and the police.

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QUESTION: drop the evidence from the paragraph to match the correct conclusion or point.

 The money can be used to build new roads or public buildings.


 taxes pay the salaries of government workers including firefighters and the police
 Existing infrastructure such as schools and hospitals can be updated or repaired.
 All of the ideas in this paragraph.

Conclusion 1: There are several reasons why the governments collect taxes.

Conclusion 2: taxes help improve community

Conclusion 3: taxes make the community safer

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II. Arguing by showing cause and effect
Another way to prove that your conclusions about an issue are reasonable and logical is to show the effect of an
action. The ideas within an argument like this need to be connected in a different way. Rather than separate
reasons added together, these arguments show that one idea has an impact on a second, and perhaps even a
third, in a domino effect.

They are all connected, like links in a chain, which is why we also refer to this as a chain reaction. This type of
argument helps explain that you believe something is a good or bad idea because of the effect it can have, and
these provide the evidence in this type of argument. Generally, these arguments are based around facts or claims
made by the writer, which may come from a claim made in the question itself, or may be based on your own
knowledge or experience.

In planning, you use an arrow to show the connection between ideas in this kind of argument. Here are some
examples of phrases that are often used to present an argument like this:

This means that…; This causes…; This can lead to….; As a result, …; in turn; If…then…

The example in the next exercise demonstrates how an argument like this works.

In many big cities, the population exceeds the number of flats and houses available,
which means that many people do not have anywhere to live. This causes several
problems. Firstly, it can put pressure on local charities, who then have to find food and
shelter for the homeless.

Points to notice:

This argument relies on my ability to clearly explain a complex problem: a lack of houses leads to increased
homelessness, which then increases problems for local charities. A plan or map of this argument looks like this:

In many big cities the population exceeds the number of flats and house ⇒ many people
do not have anywhere to live ⇒ puts pressure of local charities ⇒ charities have to find
food and shelter for the homeless
This complex chain of events forced me to produce complex grammatical structures. Complexity is not something
you should aim to build into your writing through adding even more complex grammar points, creating overly long
sentences, or using high-level vocabulary. At the lower levels, candidates are not able to explain complex ideas like
this clearly and simply, while candidates at bands 7 and above can.

KEY IDEA : If you try to boost your score by writing long, complex sentences, the complex issues you
are explaining will be confusing to the reader, and your argument will be impossible to follow.
Explaining complex ideas in a clear and simple way will raise your chances of achieving band 7, not
lower it.

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III. Arguing by predicting a result or effect
You may want to prove that an action is good or bad by making a claim about the effect or result it will, would,
may, or could have. In this type of argument, you are offering this predicted result as a reason why you believe it
should, or should not, be allowed to happen. You may be sure of the result or effect of this action because you
have direct experience of it, or you may be expressing a future concern, or making a possible prediction.

This type of argument uses the language of speculation, and such sentences often begin with ‘If’ or ‘When.’ The
language tells us how likely it is that the action will occur, and how confident the writer feels about the result of
the action. Thus, when it is used accurately and appropriately, the language you use helps to make your position
clear and, if it is used inaccurately, it can make your position less clear.

KEY IDEA : Many people try to use complex grammatical structures such as conditionals in
their writing to boost their Grammatical range and accuracy score. However, this will only
work if the structures are used accurately and appropriately - in other words, when they help
to clearly explain your argument and your position.

Points to notice about conditional sentences

 The likely actions are in the simple present, and use if or when
 The less likely / unlikely actions use the simple past
 The less certain results use may / could / possibly / etc.
 The 100% sure results use will , * would, or the simple present
 Remember, these sentences require 2 clauses, and one clause (B) is ‘conditional’ upon the other (A).
 We can say: 'If A happ ens then B will result'. This is a very firm prediction about the result.
 We can also say: 'If A happen ed then B would result.' Although the first event is less likely to happen, we are still
making a firm prediction about the result. We are saying that 'A' is less certain (it may not happen), but if it DID
happen, then B would definitely result from this.

The first sentence from this exercise makes a very strong prediction about the result of the government's action:

If the government helps homeless people, this will solve all of their problems.

It is highly unlikely that all of the problems that homeless people face will definitely be solved in this way. In
formal writing, it is better to be more cautious about claims or predictions that you make. The language used to
show this is known as ‘hedging language’, and it is important in making an argument and in making your position
clear.

In your essays, do not make a firm prediction about a result unless you are very sure that it will definitely or
would definitely happen. Review conditional tenses if you are not confident about these grammar points, as well
as modal verbs. Pay particular attention to how and when could, may, might, should, will, and would, are used.

QUESTION 1: Look at the following sentences (1-6) and identify the action and the result.

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1 ) If the government helps homeless people , this will solve all of their problems .

2 ) When homeless people are given free accommodation , their health often improves as a result .

3 ) If the government built more affordable housing , this could improve the situation for many people .

4 ) When homeless people have nowhere to shelter , winter is extremely difficult for them .

5 ) Very few people would be upset if taxes were increased to help the homeless .

6 ) If people are unemployed for a long time , they can eventually become homeless .

QUESTION 2: Look at the tense used for each action in the sentences above and decide how likely it is to happen.

 this happens in the real world.


 This is possible in the future.
 This likely to happen in the future.

1) If the government helps homeless people....

2) When homeless people are given free accommodation....

3) If the government built more affordable housing....

4) When homeless people have nowhere to shelter....

5) ....if taxes were increased to help the homeless.

6) If people are unemployed for a long time...

QUESTION 3: Now look at the tense used for each result. How sure does the writer feel about each result?

100% sure 75% sure 50% sure

1) ....this will solve all of their problems.

2) ....their health often improves as a result.

3) ....this could improve the situation for many people.

4) ....winter is extremely difficult for them.

5) Very few people would be upset....

6) ....they can eventually become homeless.

QUESTION 4: Fill in the blanks to help make this predicted result more cautious.

If the government helps homeless people, this ………. Solve ………….of their problems.

(could / may / might / is likely to AND many / some / most)

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LESSON 3: MORE COMPLEX ARGUMENTS
I. Arguing by showing contrast

II. Combining ideas different types of argument

III. Joining and giving ideas examples together to vary sentence length

I. Arguing by showing contrast


KEY IDEA : Candidates at C1 and C2 (bands 7 to 9) have mastered the language from A1 to C2; they use
high-level language accurately and only at the appropriate time. You will show C1 and C2 skills by
clearly explaining a complex argument, not by using as much high-level grammar or vocabulary as
possible.

We can provide strong reasoning or give extra support for an idea by making a point about a contrasting idea or
argument. This can be a useful way of finding extra ideas when you are stuck. To get ideas like this, ask yourself, ‘
What would happen if we didn’t have / do this ?’ or ‘ What happens when we don’t have / do this ?” For example,
‘ What happens if the government doesn’t help poor people ?”

This type of argument can be useful when writing about whether a development is positive or negative. The words
and phrases you might find in this type of argument are:

If …does not….then; Without ….,

Look at the following example:

In many big cities, the population exceeds the number of flats and houses available, which means that many
people do not have anywhere to live. This causes several problems. Firstly, it can put pressure on local charities,
who have to find food and shelter for the homeless. If the government does not step in to help people who are
struggling financially, then this puts even more stress on community programmes, and causes homelessness to
rise even further.

Points to notice: The tenses used here (the simple present and the conditional) indicate that the writer has some
experience or knowledge of this topic, and feels very confident that these effects will happen. Remember, if you
are less certain, you can show this by using modal verbs ( can, may etc.) like this:

If the government does not step in to help people who are struggling financially, then this can put even more
stress on community programmes, and may cause homelessness to rise even further.

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II. Combining different types of argument
At the moment, our paragraph is quite short. However, if we want to add another negative effect resulting from a
lack of housing, we need to be very careful. A common mistake at band 6 is to simply add a new idea, like the final
sentence in this extract:

In many big cities, the population exceeds the number of flats and houses available, which
means that many people do not have anywhere to live. This causes several problems. Firstly, it
can put pressure on local charities, who have to find food and shelter for the homeless. If the
government does not step in to help people who are struggling financially, then this puts even
more stress on community programmes, and causes homelessness to rise even further. In
addition, it means that house prices and rents remain very high.

The final sentence here creates a referencing problem – the pronoun ‘it’ confuses the reader, and so the
conclusion becomes unclear. A pronoun generally refers back to the last noun or idea mentioned, which in this
case is either the rise in homelessness, or ‘ If the government does not step in to help people ’.

The reader understands this as:

If the government does not step in to help people who are struggling financially, this means that house prices
and rents remain very high .’

Or

If homelessness rises further, this means that house prices and rents remain very high .’

In both cases, the link between these ideas is not clear, so a referencing problem like this often results in a band 6
‘unclear conclusion’.

The writer actually intended to add another negative effect of the issue mentioned in the first sentence of this
paragraph and make the following more logical argument:

‘ When the population exceeds the number of houses and flats available, this makes house prices high.’

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To show that we are adding a new point to a much earlier idea, we need to use a synonym or paraphrase to refer
back, like this:

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III. Joining ideas together to vary sentence length

High-level writers show an awareness of style, and try to vary the length of their sentences. Using a mixture of
long and shorter sentences makes reading easier and also makes your writing less repetitive. Try reading this
paragraph aloud to see how this variety helps:

In many big cities, the population exceeds the number of flats and houses available, which
means that many people do not have anywhere to live. This causes several problems. Firstly, it
can put pressure on local charities, who have to find food and shelter for the homeless. If the
government does not step in to help people who are struggling financially, then this puts even
more stress on community programmes, and causes homelessness to rise even further. In
addition, a lack of accommodation means that house prices and rents remain very high. Thus,
housing problems have an impact on everyone in the community..

The first sentence of the paragraph makes a claim, and the remaining sentences either explain the
effects of this claim, or a reach conclusion about what these effects tell us. Remember, the effects can be
seen as the supporting evidence or reasoning in this type of argument.

Are there any new symbols you can use when planning?

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NB: As this image shows, this is a very complex argument. It combines arguing by showing cause and effect,
arguing by showing contrast, and arguing by adding information. Because of this complexity, there is a greater
chance of language errors, and it is particularly difficult to explain the progression of the argument clearly and
simply. When planning, you need to be aware of how complex your argument is before you begin writing so that
you can take extra care when connecting your ideas, particularly when referring back to a much earlier idea.

VOCABULARY NOTE

We can say that A causes B or that B is the result of A . Reversing ideas like this is a useful way to avoid repeating
the same language and structures. Here are some other variations:

 Eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise can cause obesity.
 Obesity can be caused by eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise.
 Obesity i s often the result of eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise.
 Eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise can result in obesity.
 Eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise can lead to obesity.
 Obesity can result from eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise.

QUESTION: fill in the blanks with the correct verb or preposition?

1. A poor diet can ……….. health problems such as Type 2 diabetes.

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2. Type 2 diabetes can be caused ………..eating food that is high in sugar.

3. Type 2 diabetes is often the ………… of eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise.

4. Eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise can result …………….. many health problems.

5. Eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise can …………………. to Type 2 diabetes.

6. Type 2 diabetes can ……………… from eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise.

ANSWERS:

1. A poor diet can cause / lead to health problems such as Type 2 diabetes.

2. Type 2 diabetes can be caused by eating food that is high in sugar.

3. Type 2 diabetes is often the result of eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise.

4. Eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise can result in many health problems.

5. Eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise can lead to Type 2 diabetes.

6. Type 2 diabetes can result from eating too much fast food and a lack of exercise.

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LESSON 4: EXPLAINING AND CLARIFYING IDEAS
I Explaining an idea - when and how
II Perspective
III Jumping to a conclusion
I. Explaining an idea - when and how
As part of your argument, you may need to give an explanation. You can do this to explain the meaning of a key
term, explain the context for your ideas, or explain a complex idea in a simpler way. A question I am often asked is,
‘ How do I know when I need to explain an idea ?’

In lesson 3, we wrote about the topic of homelessness, and the issues surrounding this topic are generally the
same in many parts of the world. However, with other topics, this is often not the case, which is why your ideas
sometimes need to be explained further. For example, when writing about eating healthily, one person might
make the following argument:

It is important to eat fruit every day, because it contains vitamins that help keep us healthy. Therefore, I
completely agree with the idea that schools should encourage all children to eat fruit.

However, someone with an intolerance to fruit, who gets a severe stomach ache and skin problems after eating it,
may write:

Eating fruit makes people feel unwell, and it even affects their ability to work. Therefore, I completely disagree
with the idea that schools should encourage all children to eat fruit.

Anyone without the same intolerance is likely to be confused by the first statement in this argument. Again,
language plays a key part: this is not a fact that is generally true for everyone , yet the use of the simple present
suggests that it is. Using modal verbs ( may, can, etc.), as well as words and phrases like ‘ sometimes ’, ‘ for some
people, ’ helps to clarify ideas like this. For example:

Eating fruit can make some people feel unwell, and it can even affect their ability to work. Therefore, I
completely disagree with the idea that schools should encourage all children to eat fruit.

In this version, the writer has presented a fact that logically supports their argument, and helps the reader
understand why they hold this position.

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Your test question will sometimes do this too:

The first sentence in this writing task presents a fact to support the argument being made in the second sentence
– that this type of pollution is ‘ the most important ’ problem that big cities face.

Fact and opinion


It is important to be able to tell the difference between a fact and an opinion. A fact is something that can be
objectively measured and verified, while an argument or opinion cannot. In the test question, we know that the
first sentence is a fact because we can verify it by counting the number of cars on the roads. We cannot verify the
second statement because it is an opinion; we can only discuss it, and decide whether it is a valid argument or
not. This is what your essay must do, which helps to explain why there is no right or wrong answer in task 2.

KEY IDEA : In writing task 2, you will be presented with an argument that you must discuss and
respond to, there is no right or wrong answer. The question will sometimes supports the
argument being made. You do not need to discuss this fact, but you should not ignore it – it is
there to make the context for your essay clear.

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II. Perspective
It is important to be aware when you are writing about things that are universally, or generally true, and when you
are writing about things that are only true for you. This matters for bigger ideas too – your city will not necessarily
look the same as my city, and it will not operate by the same rules, which are based on your culture and history.
Thus, your ideas on city living, society, and life in general, will reflect your own background and experiences, and
when you are writing, you need to help the reader see these issues from your viewpoint. Perspective matters.

To the person in these images, the tree and the house appear large or small, and easy to see or difficult to see,
depending on where they are standing, and what is happening around them. This neatly illustrates the meaning of
the terms viewpoint, point of view, and position. Thus, a rich person, who has always lived in a luxurious
penthouse, will not have the same perspective on city life as a homeless person living in the same city. Similarly,
someone with severe food allergies will not see the topic of food and diet in the same way as a person without
these problems.

If you live in a city where the justice system is unfair, this will inevitably affect your opinions about this topic, so
you need to explain the context for your argument when discussing this issue. If you are writing about traffic
problems, and you live in a very busy city like Ho Chi Minh City, you need to help the examiner to see the problem
as you see it – from your perspective. You can do this by explaining the context for your ideas, like this:

Crime and punishment are extremely emotive issues in my country, where….

The traffic in my city is …, so….

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Language note

In academic writing, or when writing about a serious issue, we often begin by defining key terms. This can help to
explain the context for the ideas in your argument. For example, if you are writing about the topic of ‘success’, you
could begin by defining what this word means to you, or in your culture, which may be different to the examiner’s
interpretation of the word.

Sometimes, we rephrase an idea in order to make it clearer. For example, in lesson 4, we wrote:

Many cities have more people than houses. This means that many people do not have anywhere to live.

In my planning, you can use an equals sign ( = ) to represent this:

Many cities have more people than houses = many people do not have anywhere to live.

Rephrasing the issue in this way helped you to show a different way of looking at it; it changed the focus and
helped to highlight how this issue affects the people involved. Other phrases that can be used like this are:

This means, ……which means, …. In other words,….

Whenever you use these phrases, what follows should be an explanation, or a different way to interpret what you
have just said. However, the verb ‘to mean’ can also be used to show a consequence or result of something, like
this:

Increasing house prices means fewer people can afford to buy a house.

When planning, you would use an arrow to show the connection between these ideas:

Increasing house prices ⇒ fewer people can afford to buy a house

QUESTION: In the following extracts how are the phrases 'in other words' or 'this means' being used?

a) To explain the meaning of something


b) To show different way of looking at something
c) To show the result or consequence of something
d) We cannot say because it is being used inaccurately

1. If you have a lot of money you can buy whatever you want, which means that food will never be a problem for
you.

2. In addition, sharing the cost of education and healthcare would also prevent people from taking it for granted.
This means that having to pay for the service is equivalent to being more sincere.

3. Local businesses might suffer as they do not have the resources to beat off competition from multinational
companies, and they might be eventually put out of work. This not only means a loss of jobs, but also a loss of
traditional products, which is cause for even greater concern.

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4. The possibility of finding the same shops selling the same variety of items in almost every corner of the world
can be alarming. In other words, every country has its own culture with its own particular foods, which allow us to
identify it from every other country.

The answer

1-B, 2-D, 3-C, 4-D.

 In sentence 1, the writer is showing a different way of looking at the issue of having a lot of money.
 In sentence 2, the problem may be one of vocabulary (the word ‘sincere’ is inaccurate here) but this is not an
explanation of the previous sentence.
 In sentence 3, the writer is showing two results or consequences of what happens when local businesses close.
 In sentence 4, the second sentence is providing a reason for the previous sentence, so ‘This is because’ would be
more accurate.

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III. Jumping to a conclusion
In the writing task we saw earlier, the argument being made about pollution in cities is a logical conclusion to
reach given the fact about car numbers. When candidates don’t allow enough time for critical thinking, they tend
to jump to a conclusion that does not seem logical to the reader and so is rather confusing. The phrase ‘jump to a
conclusion’ means reaching a quick decision when you don’t have all of the evidence you need, or before
considering the evidence. Here is an example of this:

John has arrived late for work every day this week. Clearly, he is not committed to his job.
The first sentence is a verifiable fact – we can check the time that John arrived at work every day. However, the
second sentence jumps to a conclusion about what this fact tells us about John’s attitude towards work. There are
several reasons why John may be arriving late, such as problems with transport, a problem or illness at home, he
may even have arranged with his manager to stay late to finish an important project and start the day later than
normal. The fact in the first sentence requires further investigation before a valid conclusion can be reached about
what it means. Similarly, in the writing test, if you do not stop to think, you will not gather the evidence needed to
reach a valid, logical conclusion that you can then explain clearly. Even more importantly, if you jump to a
conclusion about what the test question means, then you are likely to lose marks for Task response.

Read the paragraph and try to guess what the topic of the writing task was.

First, let us consider the disadvantages of this trend towards driving more. If people drive more
and more, our fossil fuels are likely to be depleted in the very near future. By 2050, it is
estimated that human beings will have used up all of the natural resources if people keep using
their vehicles more. Spending more time driving to work also means that people will have less
time at work to do meaningful tasks. If it takes a person about 30 minutes to get to their
destination, then they will lose approximately 15 hours a month. That invaluable amount of time
could be better spent. In addition, the more time people spend driving, the more carbon
emissions there will be in the atmosphere, which will further exacerbate our current
environmental problems.

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It difficult to follow the logic of this argument – could not understand how fossil fuels and natural resources could
be logically connected to losing work time. Looking at this paragraph, these ideas needed to be explained even
further.

As you can see, driving is not mentioned in the question at all, but work is. This writer had spent a considerable
amount of the paragraph explaining an issue that is not mentioned in the question (car driving and its impact on
the environment), and then trying to connect this to the issue that is mentioned (work).

he had focused on cars and driving as he lives in a very busy city, with major traffic problems, and where the vast
majority of people drive to work or school every day. His perspective led him to interpret this question as,
‘everyone is now driving even more when travelling to work.’ In his city, the logical effects of this are that fossil
fuels are being depleted, traffic is made worse, and work time is also being lost. Although you are being asked to
use your own knowledge and experience to answer the question, the examiner needs help to be able to see the
issue in the same way as you do.

FIX VERSION

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POINT TO NOTICE

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LESSON 5: SUPPORTING EVIDENCE AND GIVING EXAMPLES
I.What is supporting evidence

II. Common problems with examples

III. Other ways of supporting your ideas

I. What is supporting evidence?

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II. Common problems with examples

Problem 1: Template filling and invented examples

In most of the band 6 essays, each paragraph contains a separate sentence with an example. These are often
invented statistics that sound odd, and they rarely help to explain or support the main idea in the paragraph. Such
examples are provided mechanically, often at the very end of the paragraph, as though the writer is thinking, ‘
now I need to write an example ,’ rather than, ‘ how can I prove this point ?’

Reading the following essay was about helping older workers to get a job. Do you think the example (in bold)
supports or explains the main idea?

To tackle this long-term problem, governments should provide a corporate tax incentive when
they hire experienced people. That is to say that a lower income tax on the profits of companies
would allow employers to hire the right people to perform the right job, without the need to
lower HR fees. For example, a similar initiative was launched by the United States government
in San Francisco, California, which has resulted in Tesla’s yearly corporate taxes to reduce by
35%.

The main ideas are not adequately developed and remain confusing and unclear. How does lower income tax help
companies to hire the right people? What is the relevance of lower HR fees? The example provided does not help
the reader to understand any of these points, nor why the writer has concluded that ‘governments should provide
a corporate tax incentive when they hire experienced staff’.

The second body paragraph also followed the same pattern: two sentences that are not logically connected
followed by a very clearly invented example. The writer confirmed that he had been taught to use this same
template approach in every essay. As a result, although the last sentence looks like an example, it does not
perform the function of an example, because it doesn’t support, or help to explain, any of the previous ideas.

Problem 2: Examples that are not examples

On the other hand, if good transportation is provided to the public they will travel by public
transport. For example, if fast metro trains are provided to people who go to work and students
who go to school or colleges in the morning. In addition, if there are buses on different routes
that cover all the important destinations, such as downtown, hospitals, schools, factories area.
An example of this is, in London, people prefer to travel by buses because buses are fast and
they go to famous places of the city.
This paragraph is another good example of why a template approach will not work: there are cohesive devices
here (in bold) that have been used as a fixed framework for the paragraph, but they are not logically connected to
the ideas in between. As a result, ideas are again presented as ‘examples’ but they do not perform this function:
they do not help to explain or support the writer’s points or claims:

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As we can see, the examples given do not support the claims being made. This shows that simply writing ‘ For
example ,…’ or ‘ An example of this is …’ at the start of a sentence is not enough. The ideas that follow these
phrases must provide evidence to support the previous idea, like this:

If good public transportation is provided people will use it. For example, cities like London,
Tokyo, and Singapore have excellent underground trains that are filled with people traveling
to work, school or college every day. In addition, if there are buses on different routes that
cover important destinations, such as hospitals and factories, these would also no doubt be
used in preference to private cars, reducing traffic as a result.

In this version, the connecting phrases are used because they are needed, and because they fit this argument. As
a result, they work as effective signposts, helping the reader to follow the development of the argument, and
showing how the ideas are connected.

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III. Other ways of supporting your ideas
A s we have seen, your main ideas or points are often broad and general, while your supporting evidence is more
specific. To demonstrate this, let's look again at a par agraph from an earlier lesson:

Paragraph 1
There are several reasons why the government collects taxes. Firstly, the money raised can be
used to build new roads or public buildings. Secondly, existing infrastructure, such as schools and
hospitals, can be updated or repaired. Finally, these funds are needed to pay the salaries of all
government workers, including firefighters and the police. Thus, taxes help improve the
community while also making it safer.

QUESTION: Read through the paragraph and identify two ‘general ideas’ and three examples of 'specific
evidence.’

Paragraph 2

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In many big cities, the population exceeds the number of flats and houses available, which
means that many people do not have anywhere to live. This causes several problems. Firstly, it
can put pressure on local charities, who have to find food and shelter for the homeless. If the
government does not step in to help people who are struggling financially, then this puts even
more stress on community programmes, and causes homelessness to rise even further. In
addition, a lack of accommodation means that house prices and rents remain very high. Thus,
housing problems have an impact on everyone in the community.

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