Voice: (sings) A legend is sung of where England was young.

And knights were brave and

Sir Ector: (narrating) And below the hilt in letters of gold were written these words: "Whoso
pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil is likewise king born of England." Though many
tried for the sword with all their strength, none could move the sword nor stir it. Then the
miracle had not worked and England was yet without a word, and in time, the marvelous
sword was forgotten. This was a dark age, without law and without order. Men lived in fear of
one another for the strong preyed upon the weak.
(In a dark forest)
Merlin: (he's seen trying to get water from a well) A dark age indeed! Age of inconvenience.
No plumbing...no electricity......no nothing! (reaches for the bucket, but almost falls in) Whoa!
Oh, hang it all! Hang it all! (brings the bucket up, dousing himself in the process, but hears an
engine sound) Oh, now what? Now what? (sees his foot is caught in a chain) Leave-leave off!
Leave off! (almost falls over) Oh, you-you-you fiendish chain, you! (sees the damage done to
the trees) Ohh…everything complicated. One big medieval mess.
(Merlin enters the cottage, where he pours the water for the tea)
Merlin: Now, uh, let me see. (checks a pocket watch) He should be here in.....I'd say half an
hour.
Owl: (pokes his head out of a birdhouse) Who? Who! (exits the birdhouse) I'd like to know
who!
Merlin: I warned you, Archimedes, I am not sure. All I know is that someone will be coming.
(adjusts a small chair) Someone very reluctant.
Archimedes: Oh, pinfeathers!
Merlin: (moves the table to the chair) Fate will direct him to me where that I, in turn, may
guide him to his rightful place in the world.
Archimedes: Huh! And-and you say he will arrive in half an hour? (Sets himself on a perch
as Merlin sits down) Ha! Well, we'll just see.
Merlin: (lighting his pipe) And you will, Archimedes. You will. (burns his finger) Ow! He'll be,
uh…a boy. Small boy. Eleven, twelve years old. And a scrawny little fellow.
(the smoke creates a vision for Merlin to see, but it shows a brawny man)
Merlin: Oh, dear, oh, dear, that can't be the one. Surely not why that big lad must be on
close on to 20.
(he sees a scrawny blonde boy following the man)
Merlin: Ah. There he is. A scrawny little fellow about 12. He's a regular little grasshopper.
Look at him go. (laughing)
Archimedes: And where…where would you guess he is at this very moment?
Merlin: I am not guessing, Archimedes! I know where he is! Uh…less than a mile from here
just beyond the forest. And right on schedule, if-if all goes well.
(Meanwhile, the boy catches up to the man and clings onto a dead tree)
Man: Quiet, Wart.
Wart: I'm trying to be.
Man: (looking around) And nobody asked you to come along in the first place.
Wart: I'm not even moving.
Man: Shut up. (Spots a doe) Aha! Here we go. Oh, what a setup. (preps a bow and arrow)
Right smack through the old gizzard. (aims at the doe)
Wart: Whoa, wh-oh! (falls off the tree and lands on the man, causing the arrow to fly high
into the air as the doe retires)
Man: Why, you clumsy little fool! (starts chasing Wart)
Wart: Oh, Kay, please, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. Please.
Kay: If I ever.... (trips over a log that Wart jumped over) If I ever get my hands on, on you, I'll-
I'll ring your scrawny little neck, then help me, I will!
Wart: I'll get the arrow, Kay. I'm sure I can find it.
Kay: Oh. (laughing) Don't warn me you're going in there. Why, it's swarming with wolves.
Wart: I'm not afraid. (walks deeper into the forest)
Kay: Well, go ahead. It's your skin, not mine. Go ahead, go ahead.
(Later, Wart is searching for the arrow while a wolf spots and stalks him)
Wart: (spots the arrow high in a tree) There it is. Oh, there it is. (carefully climbs up the tree,
and as he tries to reach the arrow) Whoa! What…oh! (falls right through Merlin's roof, into the
chair arranged for him)
Merlin: Well. Then, you, you did drop in for tea after all. (checks his pocket watch) Oh, you
are a bit late, you know.
Wart: Oh, I-I am?
Merlin: And my name is Merlin. (pours the hot water into the teapot) Come, come, who are
you, my lad?
Wart: Oh, my name's Arthur, but everyone calls me Wart.
Merlin: Oh.
Wart: (sees Archimedes looking silent) Oh, what a perfect stuffed owl.
Archimedes: (stutters, shocked) Stuffed? Well, I-I beg your pardon!
Wart: He's alive! And he speaks.
Archimedes: And certainly a great deal better than you do so. (flies into his birdhouse)
Merlin: Oh, come, Archimedes. Come, come now. (gives Wart a cup of tea to give to
Archimedes) I-I want you to meet the Wart. Now, you must forgive him. He's only a boy.
Archimedes: Boy? Boy! (chuckling) Well, I see no boy. (takes the teacup)
Wart: Oh, I'm sorry that I.....
Merlin: That's alright. (chuckling) He's much too sensitive.
Archimedes: Sensitive? Right? Who? What? What?
(Merlin pours Wart some tea)
Wart: How did you know that I was…
Merlin: Oh, th-that you would be dropping in? Well… (incidentally pours tea into his beard) I
happen to be a wizard. A soothsayer, a prognosticator. I have the power to see into the
future. Centuries into the future! I've even been there, lad, and I've seen all these facts.
(gestures to plans and models) They're only plans and small models, of course, you know.
(takes a train model) Now this, for instance, is a steam locomotive.
(Merlin pours tea into the model, and with a push, it moves on its own)
Merlin: (laughing) There she goes. Pretty good, right?
(Wart turns the model around and picks it up)
Merlin: Now, that won't be invented for hundreds of years!
Wart: Oh. You mean you can see everything before it happens?
Merlin: Yes, everything.
Archimedes: Ah, ah, ah, ah! Everything, Merlin?
Merlin: Uh…no, no, not everything. I, uh, I admit I didn't know whom to expect for tea. But as
you can see..... (gestures to the hole in his roof) I figured the exact place! (inadvertently
whacks Wart in the head)
Wart: You're very clever, sir.
Merlin: Yes. Well, never mind the----the-the sir. Just, uh, plain Merlin will do so. Now, then,
would you care for sugar?
Wart: Oh, yes, I would, please.
Merlin: Alright. (claps his hands) Sugar? Sugar!
(the sugar bowl jumps toward Merlin)
Merlin: No, no, manners, manners, manners! Guests first, you know that!
(the sugar bowl jumps to Wart and stuffs some sugar)
Merlin: Alright. Say it, lad.
Wart: If!
Merlin: Have you had any schooling?
Wart: (munching on tea cookies) Oh, yes! I'm training to be a squire.
(the sugar bowl stuffs sugar into Merlin's cup)
Wart: I'm learning the rules of combat and swordsmanship…and jousting and horsemanship.
Merlin: Oh, yes, yes, very good. That-that is--uh-no, no, no! I mean a real education.
Mathematics, history, biology, natural science, English, Latin, French… (sees the sugar piling
up) No. If! If! Blast it all! IF!!
(the sugar bowl retires)
Merlin: Impudent piece of crockery. (dumps the sugar and dusts the rest off with his beard)
Boy, now, you can't-- (magically beckons his chair where he can sit down) You can't grow up
without a decent education, you know.
Wart: Oh, I suppose not, sir…Merlin.
Merlin: Well, I am going to be your tutor.
Wart: But I have to get back to the castle. They'll want me in the kitchen.
Merlin: Oh, well, then, very well. (takes a suitcase) We'll pack and be on our road. You…you
watch now. You'll like this. (pauses for a bit) Higitus figitus zumbakazing! (incidentally twirls
his beard, but gets out) I want your attention, everything!
(the household objects turn toward him)
Merlin: We're packing to leave. C'mon. Let's go.