Youar

enoty
ourbr
ain-j
eff
rey

Yourbr
ainsendsy
ouf
alsemessages,
buty
ouar
en’
tdef
inedbyt
hem.

Doyoueverf
indy
oursel
fcaughtupint
hingsyoudon’twantt
obedoing,
orf
eel
hel
plesswhen
you“
go”somewhere,
emotional
lyandmental
l
y,thaty
oudon’twantt
obe?

Weallexper
iencet hesesl
i
psanditresul
tsf
rom decept
ivebrai
nmessagesthatbr
eedf al
se
t
houghtsorharmf ulimpul
ses,
whichleadusastr
ayfrom ourtr
uegoalsandi
ntent
ions.Notonl
y
t
hat,
butdeceptivebr ai
nmessagescauseprobl
emssuchasov er
thi
nki
ngandanxiet
y.

Consideroneoft
heaut hor
s’cl
ient
s.Hewasat al
entedBroadwayperfor
merwhenhisdecepti
v e
brai
nmessagesst ar
tedtocoercehimint
obeli
evinghewasunwor thyofanygoodcomingto
him.Eventual
l
y,t
hisledtohim suf
fer
ingf
rom i
ntensest
agef r
ightaswellasf
earofrej
ect
ionfor
year
s.

Asidefr
om stemmingfrom hi
schil
dhoodexperiences,hewasimpactedbyonespecifi
c
experi
encewhenhewast wentyyearsol
d:hefrozeinf r
ontofafamousBr oadwaypr
oducer
.
Andsincethen,hi
sbrai
nhadbeeni gnor
inghi
sposi ti
vequali
ti
esandhoninginonhis
i
mper f
ecti
ons.

Hepaidat
tent
iontothesedi
scomfor
ti
ngf al
semessagesand,asaresul
t,hestar
tedavoi
ding
audi
ti
onscomplet
ely–anunhealt
hychronicresponsewhi
chonl
yrei
nfor
cedt hemessagesin
hi
sbraint
hathewasnogood!

Buthei
sn’
tdef
inedbyt
hesedecei
tf
ulmessages,
andy
ouar
en’
tbyy
our
sei
ther
.

Event
houghitmayappearthatwehavenochoi
cebutt
ofol
l
owwhatourbr
aint
ell
sus,
wemust
rememberourbi
ologyi
sn’
tourdest
iny
.

Youar
en’
tfat
edt
oli
veali
febasedony ourgenes.Youactual
l
yhavet
hepowert
obr
eakt
hrough
manyoft
heobst
acl
esyouinher
itbychangi
ngthewayy ourbrai
nwor
ks.
Br
ainwi
ri
ngmakeshabi
tshar
dtochangeandcausesi
ntense,
uncomf
ort
abl
esensat
ions.

Whyisi
tthatwhenweknowweshouldn’
tbedoi
ngsomet
hing,
li
kesmoki
ngorbingi
ngonice
cr
eam,wekeepdoingi
toverandov
eragai
n?Whydobadhabit
sfeel
soimpossi
blet
oquit
?

I
t’
sbecausewhenweactoutanunhealt
hybehavi
or,i
tprov
idesuswithasenseofr
eli
effr
om
di
str
essi
ngsensati
ons,i
nturnwi
ri
ngourbr
aintoconnectt
hisbehav
iort
oat empor
ary“hi
gh,
”
whi
chstrengt
hensthehabi
t.

Note,forexample,
theauthors’
cli
ent,
anexecuti
vewhowaschroni
cal
l
yfeel
i
ngst
ressedt
hat
every
onear oundhim wasalwaysseeki
nghishel
pandadvi
ce.

Torel
i
evehi
sstress,
heturnedtodri
nki
ngagl assofwine.Thetr
oubl
ewas, thi
sresult
edinhim
oft
endowni
ngtwoormor eglassessothathecouldconti
nuetofeel
therel
axingeffect
.Thi
s
rel
i
efmadehim cr
aveal
coholeachtimehef el
tstr
essedandthenthecr
av i
ngbecameconst ant.

Thisverythi
nghappenswhenev
erwepayat t
enti
ontoourbrain’
sdeceptiv
emessages.For
example,i
fthebrai
nsendsamessagelike“I
’
m notgoodenough,”andwet ryt
oforceful
l
ygetr
id
ofthethoughtbyacti
ngoutast
resshabit–li
kesmokingacigaret
teorlooki
ngforother
people’
sreassur
ance–thenwewi l
lbehookedonthosetemporaryfi
xes.

Thatistosay,we“feedt
hemonst
er”whenwerespondtofal
sebrai
nmessages.Weseek
temporaryal
l
ev i
ati
onwhenwetr
ainourbr
aint
oconnecttheunheal
thybehav
iort
oafeel
i
ngof
rel
ief
.

Thisunhealthywiri
nginturncausesdist
ressi
ngsensations.Themostdi sconcer
ti
ngthi
ngabout
ourbrai
n’sdeceptivemessagesar et
hephy si
calandemot ionalsensationsthatt
heyeli
cit
,which
feelv
eryreal.Forinst
ance,themessage“ I
’
m unlovabl
eanddi sgusting”forsomepeoplemi ght
resul
tinapot entphysi
calsensati
ontoexcessiv
elydietorpurge,therebyputti
ngarealstr
ainon
thei
rphysicalhealt
h.
Everyt
imewenurturethevi
ciouscy
cleofdecept
ivebrai
nmessages,
wemaket
he
uncomfor
tabl
efeel
ingsevenmor er
eali
nthelongterm.

Themind’sabi
l
ityt
ochanget
hebr
ain,
cal
l
edsel
f-
dir
ect
edneur
opl
ast
ici
ty,
enabl
esy
out
orewi
re
yourbr
aintoworkfory
ou.

Soi
sther
eanywayofconquer
ingt
hesedest
ruct
ivebr
ainmessages?Yes,
ther
eis.

Thegoodnewsi
swecanar m our
selv
eswithsel
f-
dir
ectedneur
opl
ast
ici
ty,
meani
ngwecan
changehowwet
hinkbyconst
ructi
vel
yfocusi
ngouratt
enti
on.

Neuroplasti
cityi
st heabil
i
tyofourbr ai
nregi
onsandconnectionstoadoptnewr
olesand
f
unctions.Ifyout akecontr
ol ofthisabil
it
y,y
ouwill
beabl et
ohav easayinhowyourbrai
nis
wir
ed.Self-dir
ectedneuroplastici
tyinvol
vesusi
ngfocusedattent
ion,
combinedwi
thdedicat
ion
t
of ol
lowt hroughony ourchoi ces.Buthowdoy oudothis?

Byconstr
uctiv
elyfocusi
ngyouratt
ent
ion,youareenabli
ngy our
selftoexposet
hedecept
ive
messages,rat
herthanbeli
evi
ngtheyrepr
esentyourrealsel
f.Wheny ouknowhowtodot hi
s,
youareactual
lyrepr
ogrammingyourbrai
nt oworkforyou,notagainstyou.

Onewomanut i
l
izedthisphenomenonwhenshewasr
ecov
eri
ngf
rom ast
roket
hatr
ender
edhal
f
ofhermuscl
esuseless.

Thepeopl eatther
ehabil
it
ati
onfacil
it
yhel
pedherfocusheratt
entiontowardident
if
yingthe
frustr
ati
ngsensat i
onsthatcameupwhenev ershewasn’tpr
ogressingasquickl
yasshewant ed
to.Shel earnedtor
eigninthedecepti
vemessagesthatt
oldhertogi v
eupbyr egar
dingthem as
false.Thisempower edhertooptformoreposi
tiv
eresponses,
whi chpushedhertocontinueon.

Amazi ngly,
brainscansr ev
ealedthatbyfocusingont hi
ngsshevaluedanddisregar
dingthe
deceptivebrai
nmessages, sherewir
edherbr ainsothatnewbrai
nr egi
onsbecamedev otedto
mov i
ngherbody .Thatistosay,sel
f-di
rect
edneur opl
asti
cit
ychangedherbraintoenablehert
o
recoverfrom thestroke.
Thissel
f-
direct
edneur
opl
ast
ici
tyi
sthebasi
sfort
heaut
hor
'sFourSt
epsPr
ogr
am,
aswe’
l
lseei
n
thenextbl
ink.

Ther
ear
eFourSt
epst
odi
smant
let
heassoci
ati
onsbet
weenunheal
thyt
hought
sandhabi
ts.

Nowt hatyouknowt here’sawayt ochangey ourbr

ain’
sunhelpf
ulwir
ing,you’
reprobably
wonderinghowtogetst ar
ted.For
tunat
ely,ther
e’sasystemat
icmethodt ohelpyou, cal
l
edt he
FourSteps.TheFourSt epsareaguidetoappl yi
ngself
-dir
ect
edneuroplast
ici
tytoy oursituat
ion,
sothatyoucanbr eakt hebr ai
ncir
cuit
slinkedwithunhealt
hyhabit
sandr ei
nforcethoset hat
supportheal
thyactions.

Specif
ical
l
y,t
heFourSt
epsfocusyourat
tent
iont
orel
abel
,ref
rame,
ref
ocus,
andr
eval
uet
he
decepti
vemessagesi
nyourbrai
n.

I
t’si
mpor tanttonotethat,i
ntheprogr
am,youshoul
dn’
tatt
emptt ostopthebrai
nmessages
fr
om ar i
singasdoingsoi salmosti
mpossi
ble.I
nst
ead,t
heaim ofthestepsi
st oteachyouhow
todiscountthefal
sebr ainmessages,
inor
derto“f
ocusyourat
tenti
onont hi
ngsthatare
genuinel
yi mport
anttoy ou.
”

Whenyoucommitt
oenli
sti
ngt
heFourSt
eps,
your
ewi
rey
ourbr
aini
nli
newi
thHebb’
slawand
t
hequant
um Zenoef
fect
.

Ther easonwecr eatebothgoodandbadhabi t

s–suchasl earningtowalkagainaf
terastr
oke
orlearningtodri
nkal coholwhenunderst ress–canbeexplainedbyHebb’ sl
awandt he
quant um Zenoeffect.Hebb’slawpositsthatwhenpart
icul
arbr ainar
easarerepeat
edly
acti
vat edbyacertainbehav i
or,l
i
kebr eat
hingdeepl
ywhenwear eupset
,acir
cuiti
sformed,
whichwer ei
nfor
ceeacht i
mewer epeatasimil
arbehavi
or.

Thequant
um Zenoeff
ectoccur
swhenwe,
byfocusi
ngouratt
ent
ion,
hol
dtheact
ivat
edbr
ain
areasi
npl
acelongenoughsothatt
her
ewi
ri
ngcanhappen.
SobyusingtheseFourStepsandchr
oni
call
yconcent
rati
ngonsomet
hingheal
thyandhel
pful
,
youwi
lleventual
l
ycreat
eandst r
engt
hennewbrainci
rcui
ts.

Now,
let
’sgot
hrought
heFourSt
epsonebyone.

St
ep1:
Rel
abel
byi
dent
if
yingy
ourdecept
ivebr
ainmessagesandcal
lthem whatt
heyr
eal
l
yar
e.

I
tmayseem obv
ious,
butbefor
eyoucanchangeanythi
ng,youf
ir
sthavetoknowwhatyouwant
.
Sot
hefi
rstst
epincombatt
ingyourdecept
ivebr
ainmessagesi
stoident
if
yandrel
abel
them.

Thisstepinv
olvesdevel
opi
nganawar enessofwhatyourbrai
nisdoingasit’
sdoi
ngit
,oft
en
ref
erredtoasculti
vat
ingmindful
ness.Mi ndf
ulnessi
sanexperi
enti
alprocess,
soyouneedto
putsomeef for
tint
oitandpracti
ceitbeforeitcanbeusef
ultoyou.

Ahelpf
ulexercisefordevel
opingmindful
nessistofi
ndaprivat
eplacejustforyourselfandthen,
whi
leconcentratingonyourbreat
h,noti
cewheny ourt
houghtsdri
fti
nandoutofy ourmi nd,
wi
thoutplaci
ngj udgmentonthem.Bringyouratt
enti
ononlytothefactthattheyari
se, andas
t
heydo,retur
nt oy ourbr
eathi
ng.Thi
sexercisewi
llhel
pincr
easeyourawar enessoft houghtsas
t
heycomeaboutdur i
ngyourday.

Remember ,t
heaim atthi
sstageist
ogainanawarenessoft heprocess,
notthecontentofthe
decept
ivethought
s–j ustwatchwhatcomesup,
wi t
houtattachingmeaningt
oi t
.Then,when
you’
vepinpoint
edyourdeceptiv
emessages,
youshouldlabel t
hem forwhatt
heyactuall
yare.

Consideranexampleofsomeonewhoof tengotstuckcontinual
l
ythi
nki
ngaboutherfutur
e,
suchasendingupal onelyol
dwomanl i
vi
ngi nanur si
nghome.Asshedwelledonthese
thoughts,
she’
dgetallcaughtupinherover
thinki
ng.However,whenshest
artedrel
abel
ing
thesemoment sas“spinni
ng”or“
ruminat
ing,
”ithelpedhersepar
ateher
sel
ffrom hert
hought
s
foramoment ,andshewast henabl
etomov eon.

Themosteff
ect
ivewaytoseeyourf
alsemessagesforwhatt
heyr eal
l
yarei
stotake“ment
al
not
es”oft
hem i
none-ortwo-
wordstatement
s,suchas“worr
ying”or“mi
ndwanderi
ng.
”
Thiswil
lhel
pyouext
ernal
i
zet
hemessagesandunder
standt
heyar
ejustpar
tofy
ourbr
ain,
not
yousel
f.

Step2:Ref
ramey ourdecept
ivet
hought
sbychangi
ngy
ourper
spect
iveandseei
ngt
hem as
fal
se,f
orei
gninv
ader s.

Nowt hatyouknowhowt oi
dent
if
yandlabelyourdecept
ivet
hought
s,howcanyouchangey
our
r
elat
ionshiptothem?Youcanusethemethodofreframi
ng,whi
chinvol
vesal
ter
inghow
i
mpor tantt
hedecepti
vet
hought
saretoyou.

Take,f
orexample,someonetheauthorshelped.Hehadr ecurr
ingthought
sthatifhedidn’t
checkcert
aint
hingsatacert
ainti
me, somet hi
ngbadwoul dhappent osomeonei mportantto
hi
m.Althoughhecouldadmitthatt
het houghtswerefalse,hefel
turgedtoattendtothem, asit
appear
edtobet heonlywaytori
dhimsel foftheawfulsensati
onstheygenerated.

Fortunat
ely
,helearnedtoresi
sttheimpul
sestocheckt
hingswhenhest
art
edrel
abel
l
ingthe
thoughtsas“fal
seforei
gninvaders.
”Healsowasablet
or ef
ramet
hem i
nordert
oper
ceiv
e
them aspartofhisunhel
pfulbrai
nwiri
ng.

Theaim ofr
efr
ami ngi
stounder
standt
hatf
alsebr
ainmessagesareseparat
ef r
om thereal
you.
Knowingthi
splacesabuff
erbet
weenthemessagesandautomat
ical
lyengagingindetr
imental
behav
ior.

Youcanalsoref
ramebyusi
ngphr
asessuchas“
it
’snotme;
it’
sjustmybr
ain”orbypi
cki
ngup
onyourt
hinki
ngerror
s.

Onecommont hinki
ngerrorisal
l-
or-
nothing(black-or
-white)t
hinking,whichi
nvol
vescl
assif
ying
i
nformati
oninext r
emes, suchascal
lingasituation“perf
ect”or“ruined.
”Oneoftheauthor
s’
cl
ient
s,usedthisthi
nkingerrort
oinform heractions,whichmeantt hatifshewasn’
tablet
odo
somethi
ngper f
ectly,
shewasunl i
kel
yt otrydoingitatall
.
Anothercommoner roriscatast
rophi
zing,
whichmeansblowingyourcur
rentexper
iencesoutof
proport
ionorpr
edict
ingt hatsomethi
ngbadisgoingtohappen.Peopl
ewhoov er-
analyzeand
engagein“what
-if
”thinki
ngf al
lpreyt
ocatast
rophizi
ngalot
.

Ref
rami
ngwi
l
lhelpy
our ecogni
zingt
heseer
ror
sandy
ou’
l
lfi
ndsol
acet
hatt
heyar
en’
treal
;they
ar
emerel
yal
it
tl
eparty
ourbr ai
n.

St
ep3:Refocusbyplaci
ngyourat
tent
iononaheal
thy
,const
ruct
iveact
ivi
tywhi
l
ethedecept
ive
br
ainmessagesarepresent
.

Li
kemostofus,yourat
tent
ionispr
obabl
yeasi
l
ycaughtbyavari
etyofdecept
ivethoughtsand
i
mpulseswhichcauseyoutobecometr
appedi
nrepet
it
ivecy
clesofunheal
thybehavior
,suchas
over
eati
ngandover-
thi
nki
ng.

Thet
hir
dstep–r ef
ocusi
ng–canbeusedtoal
levi
atethesedest
ruct
iveat
tent
iongr
abber
sand
i
tent
ail
sfocusi
ngyouratt
ent
iononapr
oduct
iveacti
vi
ty.

Thepurposeofr
efocusi
ngistobui
ldupy ourassur
ancethat,
throughexper
ience,youcan
cont
inuewit
hyourdaydespit
ethepresenceofdecepti
vethoughtsandimpulses.

Tor ef
ocus,you’
l
lneedtochooseaconst
ructi
ve,hel
pful
behav i
orthatmaint
ainsyouratt
enti
on.
Howev er,
sincei
t’
spret
tychal
lengi
ngtot
hinkupway sofref
ocusingwheny ou’r
er i
ghti
nthe
middleofdeali
ngwithdecept
ivebr
ainmessages,i
t’
sbesttojotdownal i
stofrefocusact
ivi
ti
es
beforethefal
semessagescropup.

Someexampl esofengagi
ngandhelpful
act
ivi
ti
esmightbetogofora“mindf
ul”walkby
concentr
ati
ngony ourf
ootst
eps,t
hescener
yandenvir
onment;doi
ngashortworkout,
readi
ng,
orcall
i
ngaf r
iend.Makesureyouwri
tedownplent
yofacti
vi
ti
essothatyouhaveago-toli
st
wheny ouneedit.

Youshouldrefocusevenwhil
et hedecepti
vethoughtsarehappeni
ng.Manypeoplefal
selyt
hink
thatt
orefocusmeanst odist
ractyoursel
ffr
om thedeceptiv
ethought
stoescapethem or
removethem.Instead,i
t’
saboutmanagi ngyourresponsestot
hedist
ressi
ngthoughtsand
feel
i
ngsandallowingthem t
obepr esent.Ifyoutr
ytoforcet hethought
sandsensat
ionstogo
away,y
ou’ref
eedingthem at
tenti
on,strengtheni
ngthatresponsei nt
oyourbr
ain;
whereas,i
fyou
l
etthem beandchoosehealthyacti
vit
ies,yourmindwill
nat ural
l
yr ef
ocus.