A GODLY FAMILY

A Research Paper.
Presented to Mr. Josiah Wambua
Independent Baptist College of Ministry

In Partial Fulfillment
Of the requirement for the course
Christian Home.

By.
Peter Kitonga
August, 2010.
Thesis statement: The underpinning of a Christian home or family is Christ Jesus. He is

to be considered in every decision and choices in that family. He is the head above any

other and His Authority is final.

Introduction: Unlike any other family the Christian family is unique and special

compared to a pagan and any other religious family group. This kind of family was first

ordained by god himself and blessed it right from the Genesis of events. Unlike other

non-Christian families which view family as man’s idea based on some feelings and rules

and principles a Christian family first takes Gods views of a family above any other

philosophy. First the Christian family scrutinizes the facts about what God says about

family that that becomes the faith within the family and afterwards feelings are

considered. But a Worldly view of a family is based on feelings and logic i.e. falling in

love, we have babies and finally because they live together. This mainly results to

statements like:

 I no longer love her/him.

 I am in love with someone else.

 Since we have no children we are not yet a family

 Therefore, we can separate because it is not working.

 Since we are not living together anymore we are no longer a family.

 The judge gave us divorce papers so we are no longer a family. Etcetera

separate because they are glued together by a supernatural force; Jesus Christ own power,

love and grace. The underpinning of a Christian home or family is Christ Jesus. He is to

be considered in every decision and choices in that family. He is the head above any

other and His Authority is final.

God Himself formed marriage which is the genesis of every nuclear family

(Genesis 2:24) “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave

unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” compare with (Mathew 10:7). Therefore as

usual if we know not how to operate anything we should consult the manufacture who in

most case has already given a manual in this case God knew we were going to need His

instruction on how to coup with each other in a family. The Bible is the manual we are

supposed to use to know how to deal with some sensitive components of the family that

bring together the family members that if not considered carefully they may lead to

conflicts with in the family and tragic endings of family. As Mr. Small quoting Mr.

Socretes says in his book “…By all means marry. If you get a bad wife, you will become

a philosopher…” he then adds by saying “… it is not a popular opinion which concerns

us however, but the Christian ideal as set forth in the Holy Scripture” [1]. What Small is

say is as a Christian family all members should be treated and respected equally but given

different roles to play. A blending of these roles so as the members play any role they

wish is always the source of tribulations in the family. Every member of the family has a

specific role to play given by God in his word the Bible and should not cross over the

duties of others as his/hers will also be respected by the other members of the family. The

father is the head of the family unquestionably; the mother second in command and the
children respect both of them equally as their parents. This can not work the other way

round and will end with battles within the family. As in a government, in the family there

are laws to follow and regulations to observe and authority to respect failure to which the

party to which the role was given to, the person who was accountable will face the

consequences.

First of all, the role of the father as the head to the family is the most important

but not the only important role. In different communities and ethnic groups around the

globe the debate of who should lead the family. In (Genesis 3:16) God puts man = male

to role over a woman. The circumstances that lead to Him telling the man that he is the

head of a woman, was not as result of the prior sin of Adam and Eve but it was in his plan

right from the start. As Paul says, man was created first then the woman. These is not

only when they are at home but in everything anywhere everywhere. Not changing roles

on Sunday and the wife becomes the head of the man at church because she is the pastor.

He add up in (1Corrithians 11:8)   “For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of

the man. v.9   Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”

In fact, this is why women are not supposed to be pastors (Ephesians 5:23) “For the

husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the

saviour of the body”. The reversed roles will definitely lead to a conflict at Home.

However, that is not a reason for any man to exercise lordship over a woman by treating

them less important but a responsibility as the apostle Paul attest that men should leave

with women with understanding of who they are so as their prayers should not be

hindered (1Peter 3:7) “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge,

giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the
grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”. And in a sensitive speech husbands

body belongs to the wife as their bodies belong to them (1Corrithians 7:4) “The wife hath

not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not

power of his own body, but the wife.” They are to love them as themselves

(Ephesians 5:28).

The wives alternatively are to be subjective followers to their husbands as the

bible commands them to be submissive to their husbands. They are to be hardworking

and a help to their husbands at all time, anywhere and everywhere (Genesis 2:18) “And

the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an

help meet for him.” Compare (Genesis 2:20) The Bible also shows an example of a

virtuous woman. An example all women should emulate. Verse 11 of Proverb 31 says her

husband trusts in her. This shows that when the wife is trust worthy she is to help the

husband in His absence and take over his responsibilities as the head of the family. Vs. 12

shows how reliable she is and she is to be relied upon to good not only once but all the

days of her life. Vs 13-19 show how hard working she is in both business and also at

home in such a way she considers a field and buy it and her candle does not go out at

night. She manages her home so perfectly such that her husband never ceases to praise

her at the gates and she is a testimony of the husband to others. Vs 22 shows how she

dresses decently and with fine cloths she has made for herself and for the family and vs.

20 how hospitable she is to the poor. Vs 26 show her control of speech and how she

portrays wisdom in her talking. Vs. 27 she takes nothing she has not earned which could

also mean she does not steal or takes what is meant to entice her to sin. She is a example

and a role model to her children such that they call her blessed and even to her husband.
She fears the lord (Proverbs 31:30)   “Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain: [but] a

woman [that] feareth the LORD, she shall be praised”. Unlike, other families who’s

husbands desire a beautiful wife as a qualification of a good wife the Bible say beauty is

vain if she fears not the lord. Husbands are commanded to give her the fruits of her hands

in verse 31.

Children main role is to obey their parents. Nothing complicated but something

that could change their whole life if they are not raised in the order God commands. This

is done through disciple and teaching them the fear of God. They Bible promises them

long life if they obey and even insist that it is the only commandment with a promise. So

in a short phrase it is not for the benefit of the parents or looking down on the children

but to their own benefit. (Ephesians 6:1) “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for

this is right. Vs.2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with

promise;) vs.3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

vs.4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture

and admonition of the Lord.” Fathers in verse 4 means both parents and they are

commanded not to provoke their children to wrath but train them by bringing them up in

the lord. If the children obey eh Bible promises them peace in vs. 3 and long life vs. 3.

However, there is a sense in which disagreement may also be for good. Mr. Small

says “ it is through differences and disagreements that we arrive at new truths, widen our

horizons, grow in understanding and in tolerance. This is true of life as a whole. But it is

especially true in the home. Conflicts is the raw material out of which some of the finest
[2]
things in marriage and family living are forged.” The goal is to work through them the

Christian way and again without Christ in a home simple conflict in a Christian home is a
Total-mayhem in any other home. In fact, to many none Christian homes is a place where

you don’t want to go after work but Dr. Rice Begins his chapter explaining a Christian

Home as ( the dearest place on earth, the nearest place to Heaven is a happy Christian
[3]
home”. Then reminds us that…”Home can be almost a hell on earth”. This is if we do

not surrender it to God. [4] In a counseling session Mace asked “tell me, what happens in

a Hindu home when husband and wife disagree? That never happens” he was told, “and

why is that?” he asked, “Because from childhood that Indian wife is taught that her

husband is a god therefore the husband can not be wrong in anything. So they never

disagree.” That may be a solution to many but to a Christian home the lesson here should

be with God’s faithful obedience a family not only the wife will never disagree.

Therefore, surrendering the family to one God may be a Good solution Not only between

man and wife but also with the children included.

Conclusion: As the Bible instructs us so are we to surrender the family to the

commandments of God. Father duty is to be heads of the family while their wives second

from them. Fathers or husbands in conjunction with their wives should also practice to

disciple their children to bring them to the fear of the lord and as the family move closer

to God so will they move closer to each other till they bled into a close-knit family.

Fathers are the head of the family and their wives are not slaves but partners and

submissive helpers in life. All is all God is the chief of every family and with out him or

his law family is just another organization operating by sheer luck and not by God

blessing.
 Endnotes:

1. Small, Dwight Hervey. Design for Christian Marriage. Fleming H. Revell

Company Old Tappan, New Jersey. Pg. 17

2. Small, Dwight Hervey. Your Marriage Is God’s Affair. Fleming H. Revell

Company Old Tappan, New Jersey. Pg. 125

3. Rice R. John. God in Your Family. Sword of The Lord Murfreeshoro, Tennessee

37130. Pg. 55

4. Mace R. David. Success in Marriage, Abingdon Nashvelle. Pg. 33

Small, Dwight Hervey. Design for Christian Marriage. Fleming H. Revell Company

Old Tappan, New Jersey.

Small, Dwight Hervey. Your Marriage Is God’s Affair. Fleming H. Revell Company

Old Tappan, New Jersey.

Rice R. John. God in Your Family. Sword of The Lord Murfreeshoro, Tennessee

37130

Mace R. David. Success in Marriage, Abingdon Nashvelle.