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    Silent Cry Within the Church: Overcoming Domestic Violence in Christian Homes
    Silent Cry Within the Church: Overcoming Domestic Violence in Christian Homes
    Silent Cry Within the Church: Overcoming Domestic Violence in Christian Homes
    Ebook179 pages2 hours

    Silent Cry Within the Church: Overcoming Domestic Violence in Christian Homes

    By Connie C. Smithson

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    About this ebook

    Domestic Violence is prominent among families in many churches. However, more times than not, when victims finally break their silence and confide in their Pastors, or someone in leadership, they are being given the advice to remain in an abusive relationship, because to divorce would not be pleasing to God. Silent Cry within the Church is geared toward violence among Christian couples, as well as, the children in the home who witness the violence.

    This book was written to not only shed light on Domestic Violence in Christian homes, but to show the correlation between child abuse and those who become perpetrators of Domestic Violence later in life. Contained within the pages of Silent Cry within the Church are the true testimonies of what victims of Domestic Violence have experienced in the church after bravely speaking out. In addition, Connie shares her family’s story of what happens when the victim does not speak out, and the church chooses to ignore the signs of abuse.

    Enclosed is also a wealth of knowledge surrounding Domestic Violence, including resources for getting help, the NC Domestic Violence Laws and a section offering words of encouragement for victims and survivors of Domestic Violence. Whether a victim, perpetrator, or child, the answer to violence within the home is the same for all—Jesus Christ. He alone is our deliverer and healer of the broken heart.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse
    Release dateMar 24, 2023
    ISBN9798823002172
    Silent Cry Within the Church: Overcoming Domestic Violence in Christian Homes
    Author

    Connie C. Smithson

    A current resident of Gates County, North Carolina, Connie Smithson also worked in the Rural County for many years as a CPS Investigator/ Social Worker and Domestic Violence advocate. She graduated from College of the Albemarle with an Associates of Arts Degree, as well as Elizabeth City State University, with a Bachelor of Science degree in Criminal Justice. After completing her Bachelor of Science degree, Connie went on to obtain her Master’s degree in Criminal Justice at Kaplan University. Today, Connie has dedicated her life to serving God wherever He leads. Recently, God led Connie to share her testimony surrounding her family’s experience with Domestic Violence and Ministry and to make churches aware of the cries either not being heard or being ignored by leadership in the church. It is Connie’s hope that this book will not only educate those who have a role in leadership in the church, but also victims of Domestic Violence, as well as, those who have direct contact with violence in the home, such as Law Enforcement, and Social Workers.

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      Book preview

      Silent Cry Within the Church - Connie C. Smithson

      SILENT CRY

      WITHIN THE

      CHURCH

      OVERCOMING DOMESTIC

      VIOLENCE IN CHRISTIAN HOMES

      CONNIE C. SMITHSON

      31641.png

      AuthorHouse™

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.authorhouse.com

      Phone: 833-262-8899

      © 2023 Connie C. Smithson. All rights reserved.

      No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

      Published by AuthorHouse 03/06/2023

      ISBN: 979-8-8230-0218-9 (sc)

      ISBN: 979-8-8230-0217-2 (e)

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

      and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

      CONTENTS

      Dedication

      Introduction

      Chapter 1 Marriage, Family, and the Church

      Chapter 2 Understanding Domestic Violence

      Chapter 3 Testimonies of Abuse

      Chapter 4 Silence Kills—My Family’s Story

      Chapter 5 Ending Violence Gods Way

      Chapter 6 Reporting Abuse and Neglect

      Know Your Rights—North Carolina Domestic Violence Laws

      Encouraging Words for Victims and Survivors

      Prayer for Salvation

      Resources

      About the Author

      Bibliography

      DEDICATION

      T O THE MEMORY OF my Aunt, Patty Jo-Riddick Pulley, the same evil that plagues many homes, took you from us far too soon. May you rest in peace, until we meet again.

      INTRODUCTION

      T HE FAMILY AS CREATED by God consist of one man and one woman. In God's plan for the family, man and woman were to come together as husband and wife for the sole purpose of helping one another and populating the Earth. It is Gods will that Christ be at the center of every marriage, and that the husband love his wife just as Christ loves the church and that the wife submit to her husband, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22&24). The Bible teaches that the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is head of the church. These scriptures taken out of context have caused many Pastors and church leaders to counsel women suffering abuse at the hand of their husbands, to stay in a relationship that has cost her–her very life. This book inspired by God, is designed to explain the family unit, the way God intended for it to be. In addition, Domestic Violence will be discussed and evaluated in great length, including statistics; laws; the cycle of abuse; children witnessing abuse; testimonies from survivors; my own family’s testimony of how silence kills; Jesus as the answer; and resources. Oftentimes, Domestic Violence is seen by Law Enforcement, the Department of Social Service’s and Domestic Violence Advocacy agencies with help made available, but too often it goes unnoticed in the church. It is my hope that this book will raise awareness within the church community and help leaders to better understand how to resolve the issue of Domestic Violence behind the stain glass windows, and as a result see men and women set free from the effects and causes of abuse.

      CHAPTER ONE

      MARRIAGE, FAMILY, AND THE CHURCH

      A DAM AND EVE WERE the first man and woman created by God, after creating them, marriage was instituted, as God made them husband and wife. The husband-wife relationship ordained by God is the foundation for the family. The husband and wife become the father and mother of children, and this makes up the family unit, as God said it should be. Jesus in Matthew 19, affirmed Gods institution for marriage, when He said in verse 4, " Have you not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female." God gave Eve to be Adam’s wife, and she became his equal. This is how marriage was intended by God, for the husband and wife to be equal and to carry out different roles in their daily living. The equality between a husband and wife are emphasized in the New Testament. The book of I Corinthians Chapter 11 plainly states in verses 8, 11, and 12 " For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man." V.11 " Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." V.12 " For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by woman, but all things of God." In the book of Ephesians Chapter 5 husbands and wives both are given instructions for how they are to treat one another. Wives are to submit to their husbands, as unto the Lord. This means that first and foremost, the wife is to submit to Christ as Lord and Master, not the husband. Verse 23 reads, "that the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church, and He is Savior of the body ." This simply put is saying, if the husband is following the Lord in a proper way, the obedience she shows her husband is to be regarded as obedience provided to Christ. Likewise, Husbands are to love their wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it. In other words, the answer to marital problems, is for the husband and wife to make Christ the center of their marriage, always putting Christ first. God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship through which the husband and wife experience love, respect, companionship, and physical relationship.

      The husband, wife, and children are only one type of family unit. In addition, there is another type of family that believers in Christ Jesus, become a part of, and it is the church family. Believers are members of God's household, or God's family. The term church family best describes the relationship that people share when they attend the same church. Believers not only attend the same church, listen to sermons and worship God together, they go through life together, just as with their biological family. It has even been said that believers are closer to their church family than some of their own blood relatives, because believers are considered brothers and sisters in Christ, and immediate, as well as, extended family members who are not believers, have little in common with them other than their blood line.

      Members of the church family are often there to provide support during the hardships of life. They also come together for events such as, marriage, the arrival of a new baby, baby dedication services, and baptism. Another aspect of the believer’s involvement with their church family is found when they disciple one another, engage in Bible Studies and share the love of God, growing deeper in their relationship with God. As wonderful as being a part of a church family seems to be, there are times when believers are hurt, or disappointed by a fellow believer.

      The enemy works overtime to try and bring division to the church. Although, believers are taught, and the word clearly states that believers are to show love and forgiveness, they are still human, living in a body of flesh, and while the sin nature does not or should not have control, believers are still capable of slipping and saying or doing the wrong things at times. Seeking God's word for wisdom on how to navigate those difficulties is always best practice for the believer. When the church family finds they are struggling, it is best to talk through it, pray, and ask God for His help. There is also another, important element of the church family, and that is the Pastor.

      The Pastor is considered the Shepherd of the flock, the glue that holds it all together. As a Pastor, the expectations, are high. First, the Pastor must exercise a saving faith in Christ Jesus as Lord and Savior. Second, he or she is responsible for living their life in relationship to the Lord. They are to be faithful stewards of Christ, thereby living a biblically balanced life. This will in return help them to serve others in a most effective way. Pastors have many duties to carry out. Their responsibilities go far beyond preparing a message for Sunday morning and midweek Bible study. When someone is hospitalized, they are a first responder, when someone gets married, they have a wedding to perform, when death comes knocking, the Pastor is either there or getting the call to come at once. When there are marital problems, the Pastor is expected to be available, when someone is depressed and contemplating suicide, they reach out to the Pastor. The Pastors phone never stops ringing—it is often like a 24-hour hotline.

      Out of all the circumstances mentioned, one of the greatest tragedies the Pastor deals with is Domestic Violence, among individuals that make up the church family. Primarily because he or she has the obligation of counseling both, the victim, and the batterer, who most likely are going to leave and go home together. If there are children involved, the Pastor has the responsibility of calling Child Protective Services, if the violence occurred in front of the children. While Domestic Violence in the church puts the Pastor in a position of having to make some strenuous decisions, the greater impact of Domestic Violence in the church is felt by the man or woman sitting on the pew, teaching Sunday school, serving on a board, singing in the choir, working the nursery or perhaps leaving with the Pastor to go home, with the same bruises they came to church with, as well as, the risk of threats, degrading remarks, and belittling comments that were screamed at them the night before. The ones who cry alone at home embarrassed

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