How To Master The One-Scene Character Reveal (Industrial Scripts)
How To Master The One-Scene Character Reveal (Industrial Scripts)
How To Master The One-Scene Character Reveal (Industrial Scripts)
A THOUSAND WORDS
OUT OF SIGHT
Scott Frank adapted a novel by Elmore Leonard into OUT OF
SIGHT.
It’s a crime comedy about a bank robber who escapes from
prison and a US Marshal who tries to track him down.
Foley could and should easily blend into the crowd of bankers
surrounding him, all in their own suits and ties.
However, this would be a dull way of introducing the character.
Instead, he’s destroying his clothes, his uniform, in a symbol of
rebellion.
COLLATERAL
Similarly, the critically-acclaimed Michael Mann film
COLLATERAL, with a screenplay by Stuart Beattie, makes a
point of introducing hitman Vincent in as generic terms as
possible:
Then, entering a plane of focus is VINCENT. He walks towards us...an arriving passenger. Suit. Shirt. No tie.
Sunglasses and expensive briefcase say "confident executive traveler." The suit's custom-made but not domestic. His
hair and shades are current, but it would be difficult to describe his identifying specifics...grey suit, white shirt, medium
height. And that's the idea...
OVER his left shoulder, walking through milling travellers towards the distant wall of metal and glass, sunlight
streaming at him…
- suit, blonde crew cut – walks to camera. Same sunlight, but it hits him from the side. His trajectory is from the left.
His eyeline is slightly right. Just now, he looks down at a ticket in his hand…
right now something catches Vincent’s eye. And the two men bump into each other…
The way the script describes it, the camera on the page has
already decided to single out Vincent as someone who’s
important, separating him from the rest of the crowd despite his
nondescript appearance.
VISUAL CONTRASTS
One productive way to add dimension and intrigue to character
introductions is by giving them contradictions, oppositions, or,
put more simply, contrasts.
These can be used to immediately take a character beyond a
familiar stereotype and create a memorable first impression for
the audience.
A good contrast within a character creates a question that the
story can go on to develop, explain, and/or resolve.
Who is this person?
How do these two different sides of them coexist?
Much of the time, this kind of contrast can be established
visually.
Returning to a previous example, Indiana Jones is introduced as
a dashing adventurer, but then he’s reintroduced as an
intellectual archaeology professor, complete with suit and
glasses.
He wears two different uniforms and serves two different roles.
The climax resolves this contrast: Jones can’t destroy the ark to
save Marion because of its historical importance; however,
unlike Belloq, he knows that some things are beyond human
knowledge, and closes his eyes rather than look inside.
However, this contrast is established over two sequences. It’s
more difficult, but potentially more rewarding, to reveal it in
one.
The engine cuts off. Silence again. The Winnie’s door kicks open and out stumbles underpants man. He yanks off his gas
mask, lets it drop.
Underpants man looks at the RV. End of the line for that.
He listens hard. Out of the silence, we hear... SIRENS.
Dialogue can also give the audience a great deal of insight into a
character in a short space of time, not only indicating their
personality in the present but a fair amount of their backstory
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too, conveyed through their accent or dialect, vocabulary,
grammar, syntax, and so on.
Executed well, a dialogue-based character introduction can
become iconic in its own right.
For example, the two hitmen in Quentin Tarantino’s crime dark
comedy PULP FICTION, Jules and Vincent, are introduced
talking about the metric system-mandated differences between
MacDonald’s menus in Europe and in America.
It’s a mundane, trivial, and almost childish exchange, especially
for two men who go on, in the same sequence, to murder
several people.
Again, this creates an intriguing and memorable contrast.
CHINATOWN
Robert Towne’s screenplay for CHINATOWN is often held up
as one of the greatest screenplays of all time (Towne won the
Best Original Screenplay Oscar in 1975).
Towne took the film noir genre from classic Hollywood and
suffused it with New Hollywood cynicism, telling a story of a
sordid and dark conspiracy over California water rights.
It introduces Jake Gittes, the private detective protagonist, as he
shows photographs to Curly that depict Curly’s wife with
another man.
Curly punches the wall and sobs. Gittes stays seated and drily
replies:
GITTES
CURLY
She’s just no good.
GITTES
What can I tell you, Kid? You're right. When you're right, you're right,
and you're right.
Gittes leaves the bottle with Curly.
GITTES
You're absolutely right, I wouldn't give her another thought.
CURLY
(pouring himself)
You know, you're okay, Mr. Gittes. I know it's your job, but you're okay.
GITTES
(settling back, breathing a little easier)
Thanks, Curly. Call me Jake.
CURLY
Thanks. You know something, Jake?
GITTES
What's that, Curly?
CURLY
I think I'll kill her.
Gittes isn’t shown reacting, but he soon talks Curly out of it:
GITTES
You gotta be rich to kill somebody, anybody and get away with it. You
think you got that kind of dough, you think you got that kind of class?
Curly shrinks back a little.
CURLY
… No…
GITTES
You bet your ass you don’t. You can’t even pay me off.
Gittes eases Curly out of his office, and as they walk to the door:
GITTES
I don’t want your last dime.
GITTES
(continuing)
What kind of guy do you think I am?
CURLY
Thanks, Mr. Gittes.
GITTES
Call me Jake. Careful driving home, Curly.
GITTES
You can’t always tell what’s going on there. I thought I was keeping
someone from behind hurt and actually I ended up making sure they were
hurt.
CAPOTE
CAPOTE, a screenplay by Dan Futterman based on a book by
Gerald Clarke, similarly deals with language. (Futterman was
nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay in 2006.)
The film, directed by Bennett Miller, depicts author Truman
Capote during the writing of In Cold Blood, one of the first books
to blend fiction-like prose with true crime.
It introduces Capote at a party, recounting an anecdote to his
friends:
The friends are standing in the crowded kitchen – people are coming in and out – talking and drinking and laughing.
TRUMAN
So Jimmy Baldwin tells me the plot of his book, and he says to me: the
writing’s going well, but I just want to make sure it’s not one of those
problem novels. I said: Jimmy, your novel’s about a Negro homosexual
who’s in love with a Jew – wouldn’t you call that a problem?
Laughter.
CHRISTOPHER
Susan’s father had a minor heart attack, so she’s writing more erotic
poems about death and sex.
BARBARA
It’s so tiresome.
WILLIAMS
Hmm. What rhymes with angina?
Laughter. We see Truman watching everyone laugh. GRAYSON notices, leans in to him. As the rest of the group
continues talking, we come closer, hear their conversation.
GRAYSON
How’s your writing?
TRUMAN
Oh, I’ve got a million ideas of what to write next – I just have to choose one.
GRAYSON
Really?
TRUMAN
No.
TRUMAN
When a movie is made of my life I know exactly who I want as me…
(beat)
Marilyn Monroe.
ACTION IS CHARACTER
David Mamet, the playwright and screenwriter responsible for
some very dialogue-heavy films including GLENGARRY
GLEN ROSS, said:
“a good film script should be able to do completely without dialogue.”
DRIVE
This is clearly on display in the arthouse neo-noir thriller
DRIVE. Nicolas Winding Refn directed from a screenplay by
Hossein Amini, adapted from a James Sallis book.
It opens with a car chase sequence in which the Driver helps
two burglars escape the police.
Just as each James Bond film opens with a self-contained action
scene, establishing or re-establishing this film’s particular
conception of the character, DRIVE uses this one-scene
character reveal to establish its own original take on the classic
character of the getaway driver.
A few brief visual details build up the Driver’s mystique before
he’s fully revealed:
• a map
• a view of the city
• a basketball game in progress
• the Driver’s jacket with a gold scorpion on the back (not
specified in the script, but an inspired choice of wardrobe
nevertheless; the Driver is the scorpion, nocturnal, quiet
but lethal)
• his disembodied voice outlines his conditions
He picks up a car from Shannon’s garage and drives to “work”.
In the chase that follows, the Driver has to make many rapid
decisions. He evades the security guard but a police helicopter
tracks them down.
All the while, he’s under pressure from his dangerous
passengers:
In the back seat, the two armed robbers rip off their masks. They look like tough, uncompromising professionals, the
kind you don’t want to let down.
TRAINSPOTTING
The Danny Boyle film TRAINSPOTTING follows a group of
heroin addicts in Edinburgh.
The screenplay, by John Hodge adapting the Irvine Welsh novel,
features a very effective and memorable use of thought as
character introduction.
Rather than making the audience wait to gradually discover
Renton and his motivations, Hodge has Renton himself describe
his life philosophy in voiceover over scenes of him and his
RENTON (V.O.)
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family, Choose a
fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc
players, and electrical tin openers.
RENTON (V.O.)
Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose
sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows,
stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end
of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an
embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to
replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.
Renton is hit straight in the face by the ball. He lies back on the astroturf. Voice-over continues.
RENTON (v.O.)
But why would I want to do a thing like that?
RENTON (V.O.)
I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There
are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?
EASY A
A teen comedy update of Nathanial Hawthorne’s The Scarlett
Letter, EASY A is written by Bert V. Royal (although it’s not a
direct adaptation in the same way that TRAINSPOTTING is).
It’s about a 17-year-old girl, Olive, who tells a lie about losing
her virginity that spirals out of control.
Its one-scene character reveal has Olive deliver a monologue
into a webcam.
This becomes a framing device, allowing the script to use her
voiceover move around in time. (The resulting video she makes
also factors into the plot.)
Although there’s an in-plot justification for this monologue it
also, as with Renton in TRAINSPOTTING, gives the audience
access to her unfiltered thoughts:
OLIVE (V.O.)
Let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind, ample
breast size and the occasional corny knock knock joke, do enter this video
blog into evidence in the case against me. Because I'm being judged by a
jury of my peers, I will attempt to insert `like' and `totally' into my
confession as much as possible. So here it goes… I confess I’m, in no small
part, to blame for the vociferous gossip that has turned my Varsity letter
scarlet, but – for anyone hoping that the sizzling details of my sordid past
will provide you with a reason to lock the door and make love to a dollop of
your sister’s moisturizing lotion – you’ll be gravely disappointed.
(beat)
Look, I just need to set the record straight and what better way to do that,
than to broadcast it on the Internet. So, here it is -- Part One: The
Shudder-Inducing and Clichéd, However Totally False Account Of How I
Lost My Virginity To A Guy At A Community College In A Neighboring
Town.
(Beat.)
Olive’s charm and personality are what sell the story and endear
her to the audience. She is also highly self-aware, mocking her
vapid peers and the omnipresent social power of the internet,
but also a little self-conscious (“ample breast size”).
With this monologue, Olive is seeking to tell the story from her
perspective, to take control back of the narrative of her life.
This pre-emptive framing is important, so the audience see her
point of view and don’t judge her before the story has even
begun.
Olive knows and acknowledges that her reputation has come
under scrutiny, and this sets up a conflict between her private
and public lives.
While all characters should have rich inner lives, structuring a
character’s introduction around their thoughts isn’t an easy
shortcut to complexity.
Voiceover is one of the most poorly applied (and often unfairly
maligned in general as a result) technique in screenwriting.
Hearing direct, unfiltered thoughts of a character creates a very
different effect than a dialogue-based character reveal, which is
about showing how a character talks to other characters.
Who could or would Renton give the “choose life” monologue
to?
NIGEL
Her name has become legend. Her magazine is in the Bible for anyone
interested in style, taste and sophistication. Without a doubt one of the most
elegant women ever to walk the planet.
However, we can only see her from the point of view of Andy,
her assistant, who stands behind her on the podium (literally, in
her shadow).
EMILY
Miranda has two assistants – I’m the first, and we’re interviewing for the
second, junior assistant.
(pauses, dramatic)
Miranda is an amazing woman, a legend. Working for her sets you up to
work anywhere in publishing.
The interview is cut short when Emily finds out that Miranda is
on her way:
EMILY
Oh my God. No. No, no, no.
ANDY
What’s wrong?
EMILY
What the hell is she doing here?
EMILY
(all but screaming)
EMILY
Her driver text-messaged. Her colorist has the flu!
NIGEL
Man your battle stations!
GUARDS, ASSISTANTS and SECRETARIES cower, DISTINGUISHED EXECUTIVES bow their heads in respectful greeting.
As she’s about to get in she sees a lowly EDITORIAL ASSISTANT in the elevator. He immediately leaps out.
CLICHE AVOIDANCE
Stuck on crafting a one-scene character reveal, or indeed finding
an opening for their story in general, the amateur screenwriter
reaches for the most obvious idea: show the character waking up
in the morning, turning off their alarm, and rolling out of bed,
ready to start the day.
This makes a certain amount of sense.
Figuring out a character’s day-to-day life can be a useful exercise
in the process of developing them and their world.
However, when this type of scene stays in beyond the first draft,
without care, eyes will start glazing over.
It may be a useful writing exercise, but most of the time it eats
up screen time and reveals very little valuable information to the
audience.
As with any cliché, there are exceptions, scripts that still execute
them well, to the point of transforming the overly familiar into
something new.
Picture the tiredest, meanest, grouchiest son of a bitch self-hating loser you can. Now give him a two-year-old suit from
C & R Clothing.
HALLENBECK
You’re on my property, kid.
KID #3
Sidewalk belongs to the government.
HALLENBECK
Excuse me.
He leans over and vomits on the lawn. One hand gripping the car fender. The sprinkler goes round and round.