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Reviews
The Floor: All Hail the King of the Floor; Tonight, I'm Going to Make History (2024)
Someone's got to say it...
Was there collusion involved here? What the hell was that? "Gee Rob, Fashion Designers is my weakest category. You know, I know nothing about Fashion Designers, Rob. I eat food, Rob and even some International Food, you know. Let's see, I know I'm up against a young woman who's wearing a dress designed by one of those designers and has said she knows all about them and who looks like she doesn't eat a lot of food of any kind, much less International Food to begin with. After careful thought and deliberation, Rob, you know- I'm going to choose Fashion Designers. Gee I hope I don't stand there like an idiot for the last 20 seconds of the round, but I'll take that chance, Rob!"
Did they make a deal to split the money?
They Called Him Mostly Harmless (2024)
90 minutes
This is what happens when a story can be told in one hour, yet the filmmakers need to fill 90 minutes. The whole background of the Facebook group members and their drama was such obvious filler that it ended up taking away from the finished product. The officer originally investigating the case had it right when he said that he skips the drama part when reading the Facebook tips that were coming in. If only we were so lucky.
Apparently reviews have to be stupidly long now so, much like the documentary, it's necessary for me to add a lot of filler in here in order to make the required length. See how annoying it is?
Nowhere (2023)
Saw it but-
Didn't hear it. The person in front of me on a plane was watching it and even with no sound available to me, I decided to Google it to find out the title since I missed it. I googled 'woman in container at sea'. Again, even with no sound I could see how stupid this movie is:
If you have cell service, you ain't that far out to sea.
Putting masking tape over a couple holes won't work.
Pouring water out of the container via a 1 inch diameter rubber tube wouldn't work since it would take 24 hours to lower the water level 1 inch assuming no more was coming in.
I don't believe that standing up in 3.5 feet of saltwater makes for an easy childbirth ot everyone would do it.
And that's with no sound. I can't imagine the stupid stuff she must say.
The Consultant (2023)
Wheelchair Woman
When you see the employee in the wheelchair get turned away, do yourself a favor and walk away yourself.
This is a mess of a series that could have been at least watchable but instead gets lazy and stupid.
For instance, when the aforementioned wheelchair employee gets turned away, it turns out to be the only time the door is locked at the business.
Four thieves can be killed in a jewelry store in broad daylight and it doesn't make the news and also no one goes back to check it out.
The boss has a driver/bodyguard but he vanishes with no explanation.
The main character gets a new bestie in the last episode for apparently no reason and no attempt at an explanation.
I'm sure the book was better because it has to be.
Secret Chef (2023)
Cheffie...
Is dang annoying. And after seeing a picture of the actress behind the voice (I know it's altered a bit), I'm wondering why they didn't just have her there in person. Please. Do it for season 2 if there is one.
The premise of the show is pretty good. Some chefs anonymously prepare food for each other then get rated on it.
I will also say, because I have 241 characters left, that I didn't like the elimination on episode one. At least one person gets unfairly eliminated in my opinion. I don't want to spoil it, 82 characters left, but unfair it was. 42.
So in conclusion, this is a show that is good. Fin.
Justified: City Primeval: You Good? (2023)
Name only
This characters name is Raylan, but that's about the only similarity there is between the original Raylan and this one.
Let's just say that his latest love interest is no Ava. And the bad guy would've been tossed out of Boyd's gang. Probably beaten to a pulp as well for spending way too much time wearing a kimono in his underwear.
There was a scene where Sweetie (?!) tells a totally pointless story about meeting Miles Davis. I guess that is supposed to pass for character development.
Good thing the judge only wrote down the dirt using the 'one page per person' method or else when they tear a page out, they'd be giving out extra information.
It's too bad that these writers didn't go on strike before they typed out this mess.
I guess it's true that you can't go home again.
Justified: City Primeval: Backstabbers (2023)
Just sad
This show and episode bear very little resemblance to the original. There are story problems.
Story problem: The Armenian, who owns one of the most profitable hot dog stands in the world, is falling down drunk one minute and the next minute he is perfectly controlling his Corvette down the road.
Another: Raylans daughter adds nothing but distraction and annoyance to the story.
Another: At least two people have the same lawyer. I guess this saved having to hire another actor.
Almost forgot: in episode 2, the 14 year old Willa can order a drink at the bar. I guess the bartender is as baffled as everyone else about what her age is supposed to be.
That's just this episode. Not sure if I can watch them all at this point. The 'what could have been' feeling is overwhelming.
Tenet (2020)
No one talks like this
The female characters in the movie seem to speak without inflection, at low volume, and with zero personality. The male characters aren't much better but at least you can hear them. Unfortunately, even if you can get past this, the plot makes little sense.
Reacher (2022)
T-2000?
This show would make more sense if they would just explain that he's actually a T-2000 sent from the future by Cyberdyne Technologies that forgot all about John Conner.
If you go into it with that thought, you'll enjoy it more.
Nine Perfect Strangers: Sweet Surrender (2021)
In this episode on this date:
Nothing much happened. What did happen could have been condensed into a two minute "what you missed" lead in to the next episode.
McCartney 3,2,1 (2021)
Genius
To me, this is the equivalent of having Davinci or Einstein telling you what he (in this case,they) was thinking during their most creative period. It's completely fascinating and Rick Rubin does an excellent job of asking the right questions.
Gisaengchung (2019)
Another flaw
If the guys sense of smell is so fine tuned ( panties in the car), why can't he smell the food and drink stuffed under his couch 1 foot away from him?
Giri/Haji (2019)
Good for 4 episodes
Then the lack of logic starts.
Spoilers
The female by the book detective decides to drive Britain's Most Wanted Criminal and family to the beach and then out to dinner.
Despite the UK being country with the most CCTV, our hero never gets videoed despite being all over the city.
The daughter can identify her uncle who is face down in a dark alley from 30 feet away.
And I know every new series must include gay characters, but what did they add to the story here? Other than to add probably one whole episode to the series I mean?
The Investigator: A British Crime Story (2016)
British Geraldo
This seems to me to be the British version of Al Capone's vault. Lots of speculation, no there there. All stretched out over 3 episodes
Goliath: Tongue Tied (2018)
Are you kidding?
Things I learned:
When being chased by the cartel in Mexico, make sure your lady wears a bright red shiny dress.
After shooting a heavily armed cartel member in the head, leave his weapon and proceed using your handgun containing an unknown number of bullets.
Want rid of your lady friend in a crowd in Mexico? Just pawn her off to a couple of guys in the crowd. Extra points if she's covered in blood.
When being shot at by cartel members, just fall into some tall brush. They never check to see if you're actually dead.
Don't trust a cartel bigwig who's into surgery for a hobby.
But best of all, when you know the newly elected mayor of LA is a fraud, DO NOT TELL ANYONE. Newspapers are not interested in that stuff. Just keep it to yourself so you can have a season 3