UncleTantra

This is definitely a film aimed directly at an audience of illiterate comic book fans and delayed adolescents who use non-stop action to convince themselves that they're actually able to think.

Fortunately I didn't pay to see it. That would have been out of the question, because Tom Cruise is in it, and I just don't support cultists. But for those who aren't quite as discriminating, you might actually like this movie. After all, *somebody* spent.$291 million to make it, figuring that there would be brain-dead idiots out there willing to watch it.

Truth be told, there are a couple of attractive women in the movie, and that made it possible for me to keep it running in the background while I did other things. Other than that, I honestly can't think of any reason to recommend this movie unless you're one of Tom Cruise's fellow Scientology cultists and *need* to watch it so they don't kick you out of the cult and list you as a Suppressive.

There. Now I've finally written enough words to meet the minimum requirements for IMDB. Now to send it off to see whether they'll actually publish it.

It's really sad when a once-excellent director not only can't think of anything new to make movies about, but actually *remakes* his previous films in an attempt to still appear relevant. Hopefully this stinker will put the final nail in his coffin, so that we don't have to suffer the endless sequels this film was obviously supposed to spin off.

It's really sad when a once-excellent director not only can't think of anything new to make movies about, but actually *remakes* his previous films in an attempt to still appear relevant. Hopefully this stinker will put the final nail in his coffin, so that we don't have to suffer the endless sequels this film was obviously supposed to spin off.

Ridley Scott thinks this film was a failure at the box office because of phones. He's wrong. It's a failure because he managed to make a long, boring movie from a long, boring script mansplained together by two Boston Bros (Matt Damon and Ben Affleck), who clearly wanted to be patted on the back for writing something "sensitive" about the plight of women 'way back in the past, back when you could write about such stuff without having to worry about it affecting the bottom line of your movie.

It left me pondering *not* the mysteries of Me, Too but greater questions, like "Why oh why is Adam Driver a movie star?" or "How can Ben Affleck become even ickier than usual, simply by 'going blond'?" or "Which is a greater failing, Matt Damon's inability to grow facial hair, or his inability to act?" The only thing that enabled me to get through the movie was Jodie Comer.