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Reviews
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)
Better than expected
I grew up with the original turtles and was a huge fan of the animated series and loved the first two live action movies.
I've watched the different incarnations over the years and they have been, if I'm brutally honest, a bit toss! Other than knowing the dreamteam of Seth Rogan & Evan Goldberg were behind the project, I had little hope for this movie. However, all that changed upon viewing it....
There are some arguably major changes to key characters from the comics and early lore that will no doubt rile hard-core fans but I thought they worked well for a modern take. One of those being Splinter... *SPOILER ALERT* Instead of being a martial arts guru from the get-go, here he's a fuddy duddy old rat who eventually gets to let loose his inner ninja. I honestly don't think this would have worked with anyone else other than Jackie Chan!
On that topic, I loved the fact they included a blink-and-you'll-miss-it clip from some early JC movies as well incorporating some of his comedic fight styles for his character - using a swivel chair for example.
The animation is great and the soundtrack is superb! Watching it with my 8 year old son, it felt like a passing of the torch and I'm glad it was with this movie and not one of the ones from 2007 onwards. I will be educating him accordingly with the 1990 in due course... COWABUNGA!
Plane (2023)
Enjoyable
I enjoyed this film more than I thought I would. I thought it was just going to be another "Die Hard On A Plane" or Under Siege kind of movie but had a bit more substance to it. That said, it did almost have that 90s action move vibe to it.
One of things I liked about it was that although Gerard Butler is an action hero by trade, they kept his character quite real in that his pilot isn't some sort of martial arts expert, ninja or double-hard barsteward with inexplicable skills. His character is saved more often than not by Mike Colter's who in all fairness is probably underused overall.
Good film, not Award winning material but pure popcorn fun.
The Bubble (2022)
Watchable but forgettable
I don't get all the hate for this film on some of the other reviews. Sure, it's far from Judd Apatow's best work but it's still humorous and light hearted. The one thing I will agree with is it could have easily been 20 mins shorter.
In all honesty, I only wanted to watch this because Karen Gillan was in it. She is certainly one of the better parts of the movie.
My eyes rolled a bit when I saw that Iris Apatow was starring. I thought it was a bit of a Kevin Smith move to cast your kid but she actually does a very good job.
The film is littered with cameos which are hit and miss but the British support cast bring a humourous sense of Britishness to it - well, it is set "somewhere in England" so duh.
Overall its an enjoyable movie with enough laughs (for me at least) to avoid being boring but ultimately it is forgettable.
Chaos Walking (2021)
Doesn't make as much Noise as you'd expect
Credit where its due, the great plot point, excellently called "the Noise, is irritating and hard to listen to but ultimately makes you more determined to ensure you hear it all. Some of the very small, almost subliminal bits of "noise" are aslo well executed.
Tom Holland is great, Daisy Ridley is sadly as wooden as she was through three Star Wars movies but as an admirer of Mads Mikkelsen I felt he was criminally underused.
Concept wise the story is very good and perfect Doug Liman fodder. Visually it is also very good and there is no great reliance on CGI.
For me there is just something missing. Lack of a decent supporting cast? Lack of actual peril for our leads? I don't know but I just felt somewhat underwhelmed given the main stars.
Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?! (2014)
People got paid to be in this
As many people have said long before me, the first Nativity film was most enjoyable and the second film was watchable. This film however is just dreadful. I actually feel slightly less intelligent having watched it.
I can only presume that Martin Clunes agreed to do this film to pay for a new conservatory or something. Or maybe for the grandkids, who knows? He can't possibly have read the script and thought "this is great work and I must audition for the role!". The same can be said for Catherine Tate and the other English actress whose name sounds like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nativity, Dude Where's Those Minutes Of My Life Gone?
Spirited (2022)
Hated it.
To quote a certain Will Ferrell character... "I love Christmas. Christmas is my favourite!".
To add to that quote, I also love Will Ferrell, I also live Ryan Reynolds and I have no shame in admitting that I also love musicals.
Despite all of the aforementioned love, I just could not get into this film. Something just didn't sit right at all.
I found there to be very little in the way of laughs. I mean, my wife made me endure an episode of 9-1-1 afterwards and I genuinely laughed more at that than this. Which is both surprisingly odd and sad given the comedic talent in the film.
Credit where it is due though, Ferrell and Reynolds can both hold a tune even if they are a lyrical shambles.
Hawk the Slayer (1980)
Mrs Meldrew, a Chelsea lad and The Darkness
This film is gloriously bad to the point of being enjoyable.
The peak for me, as a fan of The Darkness, was hearing the origin of the opening snippet to a single off their third album - Nothing's Gonna Stop Us. The quote being "I am no messenger... but I will bring you a message. The message... OF DEATH!". Amazing. Oddly enough, the soundtrack is actually the best thing about the movie.
In short, two American brothers, who are inexplicably in the land of Blighty, fall out over a woman then Curly from City Slickers kills her then their dad. Then John Terry (not that one), gets a magical sword and seeks vengeance upon Curly who has also gone full nasty-pasty by kidnapping Margaret Meldrew for some hidden church gold - "I dont believe it!". Naturally, being called John Terry, he gets a winners medal at the end wether he deserves one or not.
Also stars some big dude from the Carry On films, Verruca Salt's dad, Magenta from Rocky Horror and the pig thing from Legend.
Samaritan (2022)
Super Sly
Very enjoyable film which in my opinion sees Stallone in one of his best roles of late... Acting his age for one (no offence, Sly).
Didn't know much about this movie so didn't really have any expectations. It popped up on Amazon Prime as a new release so thought we'd give it a look. Stallone is always a draw even if some of his films are a bit DVD-bargain-bin standard.
The action is good, the story uncomplicated with an obvious 'twist' and there are some lighthearted moments. Stallone even drops in a quip that is straight out of the Arnold Schwarzenegger "improv handbook" and most likely a nod to his friend.
This was perfect Friday night fodder for me and the wife.
Ted Sieger's Molly Monster - Der Kinofilm (2016)
Lovely, quirky movie
I had never heard of this film before and one day my kids were watching it on TV and they absolutely loved it! For a short while it became one off those films they had to watch every day and every time they would sit still and enjoy each minute of the whole film. Let me tell you, this is an rarity in our house.
One day I actually sat and watched it with them and I found myself enjoying it too. There's plenty of humour in it including fart noises and a catchy song that we've now adopted as our own.
I love this film more knowing that none of my kids peers have ever heard of it so it is just "our film" and I hope they remember it the way my sisters and I remember long forgotten quirky films from the 80s such as "Frog Dreaming" (aka The Go-Kids).
The Green Knight (2021)
5 letter word that rhymes with Knight
Credit where it is due, Dev Patel is a brilliant actor and continues his good form here. The sad part is that he really is the only good thing in this film.
Maybe I just didn't "get it". Some people will say it was visually stunning etc. I just thought it was arty farty nonsense.
Morbius (2022)
Not as bad as expected
This film is nowhere near great but it's also a far cry from being total rubbish. It's pure "turn your brain off" material and just go with it.
Matt Smith is terrific and by comparison Leto appears to have less scenery to chew.
Worst thing about it is the credits-cameo in my opinion. Probably get some nerds twitching but for me it was an eyeroller.
The Guardians of Justice (2022)
So bad yet watchable.
I'll admit, having recently re-purchased a Sega Mega drive, the 16-Bit clips in the trailer drew me in out of intrigue along with the 80s feel soundtrack.
It is unashamedly low budget and, in case "Bootleg Universe" wasn't a clue, it rips heavily off existing superheroes and their respective lore. It is dreadful and truly offensive to the eyes at times but somehow keeps you wanting to know what happens next.
The last episode even had a twist that, in hindsight, I should have seen coming but didn't and found myself shockingly impressed by it. By the end of the series I had invested in the characters; I cared about them. Well, some of them anyway.
It's not a series I'll be rushing to watch again anytime soon but if there is a second series then hey, I'm in.
The Outsider (2018)
Little reward
This film was like listening to my wife tell me about her day at work. She starts off like she has something interesting to say but then just waffles on & on with the occasional nugget of something that piques your interest but just as your hopes rise they come crashing back down. In the end I have to tell her that I don't really give two Jimmy Smitts about Edna & Joan at the care home where she works. Unless they've launched a scissor kick off their Zimmer frames or gone full Jason Bourne with a spork then I don't want to know.
Sadly, this film is like Edna & Joan. It's saving grace is Jared Leto but even he feels under utilised somehow.
The Hunt (2020)
Turn your brain off & enjoy
Never heard of this film and was a random pick on Netflix. I was pleasantly surprised & thoroughly enjoyed it.
The movie is just the right length so never outstays its welcome or gets boring. Plenty of action & comical gore with a brilliant femme fatale duel finale.
The King's Man (2021)
Great addition to the franchise
I enjoyed this prequel far more than the Kingsman sequel - which wasn't bad, it just wasn't particularly good either.
Ralph Fiennes is, as ever, just brilliant while Rhys Ifans steals the show as Rasputin. Some brilliant action scenes in it and a sprinkle of comedy. Perfect for a night in where you can switch your brain off and just enjoy the show.
Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021)
Killed an hour...
Not the greatest output by our furry friends but it killed an hour and kept the kids quiet.
I'm aware the voice actor for Kermit has changed but I didn't realise we were now having to just ignore the fact it sounds like Kermy permanently has a cold.
I can actually do the voice better. Disney, if you're reading this, I'm happy to talk....
No Time to Die (2021)
A Return To Form
After the somewhat lacklustre eyeroll-worthy Spectre, this was a terrific return to form.
***SPOILER***
Just a shame they killed him.
Daniel Craig was a brilliant Bond and it's a shame he was limited to the number of films he did. The big question... who next?
Army of Thieves (2021)
Pleasant prequel
A prequel we never needed or asked for and yet I watched it out of intrigue. I was pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable this film was.
It presents nothing that we haven't seen before in movies and borrows themes, gimmicks and imagery from many movies (possibly knowingly - especially the Matrix-like cafe conflab) and mashes it together well.
Matthias Schweighöfer is by far the best thing in it and deserves kudos for directing duties too. I foresee a decent future in Hollywood for the quirky German. Dare I say it, maybe a Marvel movie... "gulp!".
Kate (2021)
Enjoyable but predictable
Mary Elizabeth Winstead is always enjoyable in my eyes. She's a great actress and beautiful. If you recall those lists Ross & Rachel made in Friends, she'd be on mine.
The film itself is a plot we've seen before a million times to the point it's so predictable a route you wouldn't need to Google Map it. And yet it is still an enjoyable movie albeit one you won't revisit over & over.
Fatherhood (2021)
Has a lot of Hart
I read a negative review for this film whereby the reviewer states that other than Kevin Hart, none of the characters have any development. The clue is in the film title. It is not Father, Granparent and Childhood: The Movie.
I'm not a Kevin Hart fan so I wasn't fussed about watching this film but watched it with the wife with whom I have 3 kids. There are points in this film that really hit home. I'm not ashamed to say I wiped away a few tears.
Kevin Hart dials down the comedy, uses it perfectly when needed and delivers a brilliant performance. It is all about him and his daughter. The other characters simply guide our twosome through their journey without needing one of their own.
Highly recommended.
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
Quiet good
Obviously it doesn't have the same originality as the first one but as it carries on almost instantly from where the last one ended it wouldn't feel right if it suddenly followed other sequel tropes of bigger = better.
Tension levels are decent and the acting is very good. Can never really go wrong with Cillian Murphy.
I would have to agree with some other reviews that the characters do make some pretty dumb decisions all in a bid to tee up the next tension filled set piece. But even then it doesn't distract from the overall experience.
I would say I'm looking forward to part 3 but having seen that John Krasinski won't be writing or directing it kind of makes me wish they'd just leave it here.
Jungle Cruise (2021)
Fun family film
This film has elements of Pirates of the Caribbean and even The Mummy (Brendan Fraser one not the Tom Cruise bore fest) but still maintains its own identity.
Unsurprisingly, The Rock and Emily Blunt are the best characters. Jack Whitehall's character grates a little for me though (love him doing stand up, acting not so much).
Action scenes are good and some the puns are excellent Dad joke material. The CGI felt a bit below the normal levels of quality expected from Disney.
Black Widow (2021)
Go with the Flo
This was a solo film long overdue for Black Widow and it doesn't disappoint. That said, it doesn't overwhelm either.
The plot is easy to follow and the surprise reveal isn't that surprising. If anything, the biggest surprise is that *SPOILER ALERT* Steve Rogers doesn't appear, not even in voice form.
Scarlet Johansson is a pleasure to watch and Florence Pugh looks to match her in the action stakes. Rachel Weisz is always good to watch (easy in the eye too) and David Harbour adds both humour and hubris.
I definitely hope to see more of Florence Pugh moving forward.
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
Not the best, not the worst
I wasn't a huge fan of the original film so went into this with a fairly open mind and only really watched it because my 6 yr old son wanted to.
It's nowhere near as bad as some reviews are making out but it's far from a classic. Not being an avid fan of the original I can't compare the two films.
The acting in this is so wooden it makes Pinocchio look like a real boy. But at the the same time some of the cameos are ace! In fact, me & my lad quite enjoyed spotting the characters in the crowd during the big game. Sadly, they aren't integral to the plot so don't really hold weight when it comes to giving a rating.
I can safely say I will neverwatch this movie again of my own volition. I did however enjoy spending the time with my boy.
On a side note, reminiscent of Garth Elgar.... girl bunny is strangely attractive lol.
Coming 2 America (2021)
Better than expected
I went into this with low expectations that were even lower when I read some of the reviews on here. However, I found myself laughing a fair bit throughout the movie.
Sure it milks the nostalgia dry but none of the revived characters outstay their welcome. If anything I still want to see more of the My-T-Sharp barbers crew.
The plot is paper thin and a rehash of sorts of the first movie and some.of the acting is droll but this is painted over by likable characters and plenty of laughable moments.
As the other reviews will show, this isn't everyone's cup of tea but I'm an 80s kid, loved the original and enjoyed this.