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The Other Black Girl (2023)
A disappointing snooze fest
I thought this was going to be TOTALLY different. And not in a good way, since plot twists and curveballs and new directions in movies and books and series is usually a good thing.
I gave this 1 star at first. In episode 8, I gave it 10. I am giving it 10 stars for the things that I wrote in this review, which this series caused me to want to write, and I think I am discussing important things, even if people have a problemo with it. So I guess...that means this is a great series. It's intellectually stimulating, at least for me, a critical thinker. However, it is a 1 star viewing experience which I'll discuss soon. Perhaps the book is much better. I don't think people realize that this is based on a book, by a black woman, so all the reviews who are bitter about how the series turned out (I'm not bitter, at ALL, just confused and a little bored), and who are blaming hollywood for this, need to get their facts straight (even though hollywood is culpable and lacking in many ways). Don't deflect and blame others for this, because it just might be true, even if hyperbolic and satirical or just a bit silly or even as I think, boring. However, in two separate episodes, the main villains Diana and Hazel wore pink and green, colors of a big black sorority, probably the biggest sorority since so many black celebs and politicians are from it. And there are firsthand accounts of that organization's initiations and the general nature of their "sisterhood" being spiritually dark, so...maybe this series is by someone or someone(s) who denounced their membership, or who got rejected while trying to join, or who refused to join in the first place whether invited or not, or just a rival org, or...taking out the cultist mumbo jumbo which may or may not be true, just focus on something more concrete or valid, which is that black women DO and HAVE put all their worth in their hair, and have made other black women do it too in society, hollywood, and allegedly in that sorority, by alienation or bullying.
Don't lie.
So it's no surprise that straight hair through a strange product is Hazel's part of group initiation. It's not hollywood at all. It's everyday life! Nella was "too real" for the big company she works for and Kendra was just a smart insecure chick from the hood so she didn't make it, but Hazel...Hazel made it because she was a "sellout" and the right hand to a cult leader. A cult in reality doesn't have to be a syndicated organization with a labeling name. It could just be a common mindset. I mean, this isn't too far off from reality, peeps! So those are the tolerable things about the series. It seems the biggest critics of "black" series and movies, are black people, mostly due to this twisted insecurity about what they wrongfully presume white people negatively think, when in reality, white people are thinking the opposite way. Let's start with the fact that the large publishing company where Nella works, hired her, with her afro and all, and her white boyfriend is, well, her boyfriend. But who came in and revealed how they initiate black women into bigger success?
Other black women.
That's what happens when you care too much about what people think, you get it twisted. Trust me, white people are simply not disliking things for the reasons you may think. "Why can black women only be successful if they're doing witchcraft in movies?" someone wrote. Wah wah wah. Maybe because, in real life, they probably ARE doing spiritually twisted things such as changing who they are to fit in, whether it be with white people...or other black people. Scorning this series for revealing that albeit poorly and accusing it of being racist for revealing this deep dark truth when it could actually be genuine tough love or simply just not that deep, is just twisted. That being said.
Firstly, the white boyfriend surprised me when he turned out to be a boyfriend. The way he sat down, I thought he was the gay bestie, even after he pecked the main character Nella on the lips. No chemistry, at all. Were they puking or even fighting between takes? Seems like it. And why did the show have him act like the Ken Doll from the Barbie movie, a ditzy blond simp? Minus a star for his acting/character sketch.
Next, I thought based on the Kendra-Diana back story, that Hazel was Kendra reincarnated coming for revenge. It would've been stupid, but it would've been simple and entertaining in a basic way, and funny in a headshaking sort of way. And that would've been fine. But it turns out that it's a cult run by the only other black women in Nella's workplace, with the first step being to change their natural hair into a relaxer. It was unexpected but disappointing that it had a pseudo deep message presented in a boring and dull package. When the slapstick Kendra-possessed-Hazel-to-vindicate-herself-at-the-company-then-take-it-down thing would've been fine, in my opinion. That being said, that wig the girl who was following Nella to reveal this TO Nella, (who ended up getting a perm forced by Hazel and thus subsequently converted to a sellout), it needed to go. Sad to say, it was ridiculous, which is upsetting since they could've made the natural hair wig look better even if it was going to get permed, but anyway. Minus a couple stars for being boring with a weird plot twist that it struggled to get to.
Next issue was the ANNOYING 80s-esque vibe. It's just so bad, I don't UNDERSTAND why so many movies and series are copying off of the 70s and 80s. It's literally as if a Gen X'er or an older millennial had this idea rolling around since before I was born, and finally was able to bring it to life and all they know are blazers and dresses with shoulder pads and NYC yuppies and anachronistic funk music and trippy, echoey synths and the NYC subway train with orange seats (when many NYC trains, don't have orange seats; those are old trains!). Just make it stop. This literally looked like if Coming To America were a horror movie. It's just annoying. So minus a couple stars for the Starz network 80s drug kingpin memoir series color quality, cinematic style and wardrobe, and at times, soundtrack. One other thing that's very 80s: the whole...hair thing. Like that series Bad Hair, a recent one. Also 80s vibe, side note. The only reason I'm not watching it. Didn't know this series would be the same, just duller, but anyway. The hair thing is, no longer. Black women wear their natural hair now. They don't wear wigs and weaves like they used to, nor for the same reason. At first, those things were to literally convince people that it's real hair. Now, no one asks if the wig or weave is real. Wigs and weaves are no longer big open secrets. Even light skinned mixed women openly wear wigs! They call it "glam." Not only are they wigs now, they're blue and orange and green. Black women are having fun with hair today. I haven't had anyone ask me if my hair is real in SO long (maybe 5 years but I don't wear wigs or weaves but I do wear crochet or clip in extensions sometimes, using Kanekalon hair a lot for styles which is believable by sight). Also, the "big chop" is very popular, you'll go viral for it and get paid loads to talk about it through hair product sponsorships or just loads of views and adsense pay. Black women are more "pressed" (get it, pressed?) about the length, not texture. The texture thing and perm thing is soooo 80s, goodbye! (Or for people born in the 80s who still were struggling with their hair texture in the 2000s). Soooo the obvious 40+ year old mind or minds behind this, need to relax, excuse the pun. This series said it's the year 2023 but I think everyone knows it but them! If you're black and still caring about hair, you must live under a rock, or you're insecure about something else, rather than your hair. You might not like your face, or something, and you think it's your hair. No, it's your face boo. Because if you loved your FACE etc, your hair would be a non topic when it comes to leaving the house. So anyway. Minus a couple stars for the antiquated style and theme about hair.
The next issue I have is that, connected to what I thought the plot twist was, I thought Hazel was Kendra, and had supernaturally convinced the CEO of the company to act on her behalf, and that his speech and his behavior was him under a spell. But no, it was him in true form just plain old weird as a character, and bad acting.
Another wee pet peeve I had was that earlier in the season, I literally said out loud "If Nella says 'diversity' ONE more time...!"
The final issue I have is that Hazel and other black women apparently, think life will be easier if they just perm their hair and "play the game." Welp. Many black women did that, black guys too, in their own way. But look at celebs. Just look at em. Dead tragically, found alone and disgraced. Oh please and just stop it lol.
You can have a happy life with natural hair and brown skin! And not working in a big city workplace, or going to a "top" college, or joining some "sisterhood."
Well anywho. While I see the value in the story's message, I hated sitting through every episode. Just so boring, horrible soundtrack, darkly colored, badly styled, bad wardrobe, bad hairstylist, bad acting, bad plot twist (for a viewer but good for a conspiracy theorist), bad pace (10 episodes is quite long for a single season or miniseries, particularly one that isn't episodic but that had cliffhangers because it just means they dragged it out). Actually, the lighting was bad too I mean, if it were brightly lit it and sunny then it would've been better; it would've compensated for a dull cast and a dull vibe but also it would've been ironic and therefore quirky and eccentric, rather than cloudy days and a lot of silhouette and lowered saturation to convince us that this is a deep thriller. Generally speaking, I think I deserve an award for watching the entire thing.
The College Admissions Scandal (2019)
This movie misses the mark
The movie does a good job of pretending it does a good job, which ironically is the subject matter of what these parents and their kids do. This is a Lifetime movie. You really think they're going to tell the full story to the point where it's good enough to deserve a high movie rating? There's a lot glazed over and omitted and purposely misconstrued. But they have to profit off of the sensational story and make a lil movie.
They are making it seem as if the parents, students, and Rick Singer are the ONLY ones at fault, and those participating members of the universities involved are seen as a select, rare handful of ne'er do wells. When the truth is, the whole thing is a scam. What these parents, students and co-conspirators in the admissions departments etc did differently in this situation, (rather than an admissions corruption being unique from all the other parents whose kids are in top universities), is get caught. It's still happening, with other Rick Singers. There are nepotist, cultist systems at play and full force when it comes to university acceptance. Lori Loughlin is smoke and mirrors. Do not get distracted and do not use her as a shield either, do not throw stones in a glass house at her though she is wrong, too.
If your grades aren't there, certain people know their kids need to get sports scholarships, so they get their kids into extracurricular activities young. Even if they're not star students. It has nothing to do with being a "minority" as this movie keeps grossly saying. Minorities know better than anyone that in order to get into a top college let alone any college, you have to have good grades to stay on the school sports team and then from there you can get an athletic scholarship or just impress an admissions dept. It's these other people who feel the need to scandalize their kids into success and it's weird to me because 1. You can take the SAT's any time at any age since education is your right and trying again is too, and 2. You're "rich and powerful and famous/know someone famous" so why do you feel the need to do this? Just walk in the school and say "do you know who I am?" But of course the universities can't be so blatant about the fact that they do in fact limitlessly accept these "do you know who I am?" people all the time, so they pretend they have a rigorous qualifications process. Now your kid is studying and training to the point of ill health, while mediocre Scott and Ashley related to this celebrity or that celebrity or who have this "legacy" alumni parent just finesse their way into college. Heck, some don't even have qualifications and they just suddenly have high earning jobs. I check successful people's LinkedIn profiles and there are many who don't have a great university/educational background, and suddenly they have a top executive or vice president of xyz role. Check the LinkedIn of your own manager for starters. Mhm. Smells like nepotism/cultism/favoritism etc to me. But then you get model minorities who have this extensive educational background and a million licenses and they just have a regular job. You got a Master's to manage a little iHop franchisee or to be HR at a little clothing store or the check-in desk at a dentist? I don't think so. But Scott and Ashley with nothing or just a regular Bachelor's at a rinky dink college but maybe went to a great preparatory high school academy manage a hedge fund or are vice prez at a huge corp. So the point is...we're playing their game.
These celebrities aren't stupid enough to get caught up like this. Something's always in it for them no matter how you or I may think they are stupid. Wool is always pulled over our eyes. Now, yes, many celebrities are much dumber than everyday civilians who are successful. In fact, everyday civilians who are successful make celebrities what they are in the first place; they manage them, train them, interview them, invest in them, blog about them, dress them, schedule them, nurse them, drive them around, and hospitality them. These everyday smarter rich people have celebrity clientele. And celebrities need conservatorships because their lifestyle and financial stupidity shows everyday. Thus you get Rick Singers, Epsteins and Madoffs profiting off of this rich stupidity. And this rich stupidity is used institutionally and no one says anything because these rich stupid celebrity's kids are attending school with each other and the kids of these smart rich everyday people who work with these celebs. Now these kids grow up privy to what their parents do, and what their parents do for THEM. Now there's a cult/culture of nepotizing your kids into this opportunity, this university, this apartment/studio/home. And guess who's stupidly competing with these nepotist cultists? You and me. Well I'm not going too, but clearly you people still are. Because people are still busting their butt trying to get into certain universities when, no matter what you probably do, you will not get accepted to these elite universities and even if you do get accepted, why the freak would you want to?! Unless of course you finessed your way in. There's ALWAYS a finesse, I'm not buying it that this is the only scandal.
A standard finesse is to get your kid into a sport or music training at school. You knock on their door at night to remind them what's at stake without saying what's at stake. This movie shows the parent sermonizing to their kids what's at stake, and some parents out there do boot camp their kids to do well at school. Now the universities want to scapegoat these rich stupid celebrities, when everyone involved including the celebs are equally nefarious, arriviste and unscrupulous and corrupt and downright nasty. And this movie seems to want to just make it seem like the parents put the universities in a bad position, as if the universities were fooled or lied to or deceived. As if their other students have not done this or some other kind of corruption or ruthless finesse. No. These schools know their lights stay on due to rich stupidity of celebs and the cleverness of the smarter everyday rich people. These schools know if the applicant isn't rich, that they know how to finesse otherwise via a sport scholarship and the rare type, excellent grades. It's the morons who try to get in with genuine grades excellence though. You're not getting picked on for being smart due to jealousy. It's because you're doing something unnecessary, and people are snickering behind their hands at you. Of course it depends on the scholarship but the catch 22 is that if everyone figures out one way to win at a competition (this case, the competition is university acceptance) then that way is now nullified since it becomes a saturated pool. So now you need to one-up that pool and arch over that competition, right?
Why do you think there is so much racism? If the black or asian kid excels at a school full of white people, or if black neighborhoods have highly performing local schools, either way white people's opportunities are compromised. The finessing starts from day one in kindergarten the area where you want to raise your kid from scratch, not on the day that Felicity Huffman a rich stupid celebrity agreed to work with a guy who's long acquired insane riches from doing the very same thing 100s of times, no matter what the news does to sensationalize it as a rare celebrity scandal. I'm not stupid. There's been a number of finesses to solidify your stupid kid's future. Most people just aren't stupid about it. They put it all off on their kids. That's why I don't understand the people who stereotype black kids as being good at basketball and football and track or hispanics being good at soccer and baseball. Those are top sports that white and asian kids do all the time too lol. And this is a form of finessing your way into university. If you have literally figured out a way to win in a competition, it's a scandal already. Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman were either just stupid (they are celebrities, who are stupid; most celebs did not even finish middle school LOL) or they are still stupid, but they must have known they were going to get exposed. However like I said it's all smoke and mirrors. There are 1000s and 1000s of Stanford, Yale, Dartmouth, NYU, etc alumni/current students/legacy applicants who know that they "figured out a way." Just play this sport in high school and you'll be fine. Model minorities don't feel confident doing just that, so they like to excel academically too. But for the most part, it's not needed. Scandalize your SAT/ACT store, use your parents being alumni/rich/celebrities, and play this sport. The "losers" in life (you and me) didn't know this and thought we actually had to get great grades. I have to laugh.
You think Stanford etc are good schools because their acceptance rate is low? It's a pyramid scheme profiting off the self worth of these children and their deranged old-school parents who traditionalize getting a degree as the best thing ever. Their acceptance rate isn't low because the required SAT scores are so high. SAT's are a joke anyway. SAT's are a front criterion. Their acceptance rate is low because only a oligarchy of the nation and world's population not only has the money to buy their way into the school but also has the knowledge to do it. Where else do the schools get their money? The sky? And now why would you carry on that sick culture of corruption by pressuring your non-rich or nonwhite child to get into a school? LOL. Stop it. Many great non elite universities will take no SAT at all, or a 900-1200. Stanford ridiculously asks for a 1400+. Now that's not unattainable. It's all rote and some studying and some cheating (don't lie). Everyone has the opportunity to highly score on the SAT, great news right? I'm sure many people with that SAT score still don't get in, though, too right? Screw college. Get a License/Certification and a job and get over it.
He's Not Worth Dying For (2022)
I rarely cry with movies
Especially Lifetime movies, which I watch as guilty pleasures along with the happier Hallmark/holiday tv movies. But I cried with this one, and I don't know why, since I despise social media especially influencers and especially fighting people over it.
I guess the fact that Grace was a sweet girl coupled with the somber backing music and just the general shame of it all, and this stuff DEFINITELY happens in real life.
I disagree with this review and I never do this:
"Meh. Typical Lifetime social media cautionary tale
by CranberriAppl2 July 2022" who said the funeral scene with the mother crying was "cheesy" ? That's just heartless. It actually is the point where I started shedding a steady stream of tears. Because it's true; why didn't they do anything to stop the fight? There are literal cases of people dying during beatdowns and no one intervened, no men, no "friends" stopped and saved the girl (or boy) from getting hurt. They just recorded it. Literal snuff films being "liked" online. Disgusting and sad.
RIP to all the people out there who went out like Grace did in this movie. So sad.
My Name Is Mo'Nique (2023)
She called herself special ed, made fun of her mom, called herself a gorilla, discussed her private sexuality, called her family dark skinned, and would not stop swearing
Pretty much it in a nutshell:
She called herself special ed, made fun of her mom, literally called herself a gorilla, discussed her private sexuality, called her family dark skinned, and would not stop swearing.
I think Netflix said: in order to officially end this and do this for you, you have to do something for us, and that's "repent" and humiliate yourself. Or if we go away from the conspiracy theories, we can just say she told herself that. Because she certainly did humiliate herself. Even people in the audience weren't laughing. All of the laughs seemed uncomfortable, and many shots were zoomed in on one face so that you couldn't see their neighbor *not* laughing, because when the cameraman took the camera walking behind people or craning over people, I caught many people stiff and not laughing. I thought maybe within 20 or so minutes, she probably wants to run off the stage but can't. She should have ignored her thug husband gassing her up to get more money from everyone, regardless of how her "grandma taught her to respect her husband" and she should've accepted what Netflix was going to originally give her, or just turn their offer down the way she turned down promoting Precious, and she should've kept doing standup the way Katt Williams does it, which is independent and crowdsourced and earned. You can't go from an old sitcom, to a horrible movie with bad press about her, to millions of dollars from anyone for doing unfunny standup. And you can't possibly blame black culture on your behavior either. Monique is the same one who said you shouldn't wear a bonnet to the airport, right, because of how it makes black people look. Though all races wear head wraps. Well here Monique is heralding being in special needs, having a mother who can't read, taking drugs, growing up around addict gamblers and pimps etc as relatable comedy.
She's spent so much time fighting Netflix for what she doesn't deserve, that she forgot how to hone her craft and social skills in the meantime. Now she can never fight the good fight again. The boy who cried wolf.
When Katt Williams sweats and swears profusely, it's actually funny. However, this was amateur in its imitation. Katt Williams discusses important political and Hollywood issues that would make anyone sweat and swear a lot lol. Monique was just insulting herself in a way that is totally random to us I'm sure, and not even in a Kevin Hart way. Hart is good at relatable self-deprecation; being short and not knowing how to fight: simple, and we can all see he is short so he's not exactly humiliating himself talking about it, and many of us cannot fight lol. Monique, however, revealed things that you just don't reveal about yourself, to show triumph at "beating Hollywood/Netflix" but ironically she made herself look worse because she just couldn't calm down.
It seems she made such a fuss over Netflix and that fuss might have been needed, but I think she forgot that part of Netflix paying you means you have to perform a standup show. She kept talking about her drug use during the stand up and I think she was on drugs here. But since she got paid, lost weight and is still married to Sidney which is clearly all she cares about, she decided to just do whatever during this show.
The way standup comedy is done these days even by black women isn't perfect, though; they have a podcast style, the deadpan monotone well written jokes. Very hipster. However, I still like it because it's personable and relatable and they do actually make me laugh even though they lack stage presence. I must say, Monique has some incredible stage presence, but she is a horrible joke craftsman. She needs a podcast and an editor to delete all the cuss words.
Since she has such a great presence, she needs to leave comedy, get right with God and become a minister or something. Just be a funny, charismatic minister or that friend who makes people laugh. She needs to retire after this. Even when she hosted the Shaquille O'Neal comedy specials, she wasn't funny. I always think, "Monique is hosting/performing. It won't be funny but it won't be boring, mostly because she is loud and drops a couple gems." And that was 15 years ago. Still saying it.
Singkeuhol (2021)
This really is a disaster movie
Just a couple thoughts: This was a very loud, intense, action packed movie, with great special effects. The cast pretty much would have been screwed, though, without the divine intervention of the miraculous yellow submarine coupled with the handling of Seung-Tae's dad. Just before the submarine came, I switched away from the movie giving up on them. But then I was re-invested with intrigue on how the submarine would work. I was wowed and rewatched it a few times. It was probably the best disaster-movie endings I've ever seen. I felt genuine joy and almost shed a couple tears lol. But then I felt genuine sadness for Seung-Hoon; he was badly injured/comatose, and the flood was rapidly rising and all he had was an ailing grandmother to get him out. But it was a merciful end because he was comatose and would not know he perished, and his grandmother perished in peace watching him.
That said, the first 20 minutes of the film were dragged out and unnecessary. The film could've started at the 22nd minute tbh, with Chief Dong-Won's colleagues arriving for the housewarming party, maybe keep the little moments of meeting Seung-Tae and his dad, though.
It's also technically an action comedy, but there was no comedy in the second half, and the comedy that was there in the first half is largely forgettable. Still though, the film was enjoyable. Just not that funny.
Lastly, the boy they chose to portray Su-Chan is literally one of the most adorable things ever. Him respectfully yet tearfully greeting and thanking the man who saved them with his little chipmunk voice was a tear jerker lol.
Siberia (2013)
I thought this was real
I won't lie, I was increasingly disappointed with this series per episode, but only because along the way I realized it's not real lol I wondered each episode until I got to that episode with the green stuff in the sky. Then I was like, they got me lol Then it became dramatic but still so entertaining (to me) that I played along/stayed along. The final episode presented itself as a cliffhanger to a greater mystery/Season 2 which doesn't exist, but I think they didn't intend for a second series; they just needed to simulate a reality tv show. This might have been a filler series or something. Even looking back 10 years later, I still can't see where I missed that this was fake. It shows how fake, actually, real tv game shows are like Survivor/Big Brother.
(Now that I look back, I realize that they fell in the water and walked across a creek through the woods, and are bone dry in the next scene lol so yea, that's something I should've realized that this is fake lol)
Baby Girl (2018)
I wasn't gonna do it...
I wasn't gonna write a (bad) review.
But after reading insultingly fake reviews, I had to. I don't care if no one comes across this title to even see the reviews; I'm doing this for historical purposes just in case.
This is where I draw the line: So the writer is Brandon Trask, according to iMDB and the review that I will post here verbatim to show how stupid these people think viewers are to think we wouldn't notice how fake this is:
"Sexy thriller
wtrask-3401517 May 2019
I usually watch comedies and Hallmark movies. This is certainly not one of them! But I really enjoyed it. Great acting and script, plus exceptional cinematography, music and special effects. The ending did not disappoint. A thumbs up."
Written by W. Trask. See that? T.r.a.s.k. So either there's some nepotism going on here, or the writer is catfishing good reviews. Now I will not leave a decent review. Do not insult viewers!
Also, they said "normally I watch comedies and Hallmark." I am personally offended because I love Hallmark/I am subbed to them and Lifetime too. What's wrong with that? And this movie thinks that the people saying we don't like this if we like comedies/Hallmark is so far detached from reality up their own backhole that they think the issue is that this film is too "dark" for us. Newsflash, a raging lightning storm is darker than this film lol. In all honesty, though, I do not even know how "dark" this movie is because I can't stomach going further supporting someone who catfishes and nepotizes reviews. I will agree that the neon colors against the nocturnal urban background is...cool, sure, but it was kinda wasted on this movie simply because of the pretentious performances. Kudos for making a film, though, and for being creative, but skroo you for those insulting reviews.
Swarm (2023)
Disappointing
This is why I don't normally watch TV series, ongoing or limited ones; they are either too dragged out, or characters/stories end prematurely/abruptly. This case is the latter. Every character who I like, disappears unjustifiably in like 5 or so minutes of appearing... It makes me not want to watch because I literally cannot/will no longer connect to anyone, I certainly can't defend the main character, and everything also becomes predictable. It's almost as if characters are killed off so quickly for the crew to use her mental illness as an excuse for no development rather than simply be held responsible for the lack of a proper character/plot developing buildup.
I get it, though. The main character is manic depressive, and she has every right to be. How dare you or I expect this traumatized (young) person to psychologically hold up after everything they have endured/suffered? I don't encourage the debauchery or depravity, but I understand it. I'd be surprised if someone who's dealt with tragic loss and no redeemable qualities and a horrible livelihood bounces back and becomes/remains a good person, to be honest; it's hard to do. So I understand the rampage and rage of this character. But I don't understand what the music star has to do with this? The lead only became deranged after mourning her only relative. It has nothing to do with the singer she admires lol.
Yes, idolatry of another human and a celebrity is wrong. This thesis is not supported by the events of this series at all. The only tie to her mental downward spiral and the singer is that the night she went to the singer's concert is the night she missed cries for help from her sister. So, if anything, she should be stalking and hating the singer such as blaming the singer (of course in a deranged perspective) and not murderously defending her (though so far, she has killed 4 people all unprovoked and neither of them have anything to do with the singer so the title remains irrelevant.)
This show is if Zola was longer and had more gore, and a better soundtrack. Which is fine, but the plot premise (disturbed young woman's obsession with a singer goes too far) is nonexistent throughout the series. If the premise was "disturbed young woman goes too far" I'd rate this 10/10 probably. Or if the premise was "young woman *becomes* disturbed when her obsession with a singer goes too far", I'd rate this maybe 7/10 since that premise is more boring but at least its execution would be consistent. In the beginning of the series, she proves to be disturbed already and without pretty much any relevant mention of the singer which discredits the premise about her obsession making her disturbed. However, I do know that songs evoke powerful feelings if they are tied to nostalgia or troubling memories, and this young lady clearly does not have the mental resources to heal properly, so her feelings and actions are in disarray causing her to randomly snap. To have a song in the back of your head reminding you of something painful that you're mourning and you don't know how to act. But again, while that is a great premise, it is my interpretation and a reach and it's not this show's premise. This show is about a person doing deranged things due to their obsession with a celebrity, period. Bling Ring did not falter from this premise at all; they did what they did out of obsession, period.
For instance, if this show properly showed her extremes to defend her love for the singer, then she would've immediately cracked the strip club manager in the face for insulting her playing the singer's song during a dance rather than the twerking music they prefer. She did not do that *thus far. Yet, she randomly offs people she just met who did nothing to her nor the singer lol. And the only person she offs who even remotely criticized the singer mainly offended the lead by also trivializing her sister's tragic passing through a callous joke about her sister's passing, so again she does not murder in defense of the singer; she continues to murder due to psychosis from missing her sister. She even lets one racist critic go even though she miraculously managed to find her, so how is this an obsession about the singer at all? See? It makes zero sense.
Also, hooray for representation but there has to be roles out here that don't include senseless murder like this all the time. Every black show is either about struggle rapping/DJing, being a kingpin in a poverty stricken area, or massacres like this.
That being said, if this is even remotely a true story, it's incredibly sad. It's kind of funny because Beyonce just won her 30-something little grammy (even though people aren't really liking her music like that lol) so when the actress keeps bringing up grammy stats to people who don't like her fav singer, it shows how pathetic fans are. I guess this show is mocking fanatics/stans, but if it's actually trying to scare people into *not* mocking fanatics because "otherwise you will pay for it" yeah, that's pathetic too.
Fort Tilden (2014)
I'm glad this movie was made. Know Why?
Because it so plainly, generously reveals to all of us, who suffered through this movie, just how much of a lie it is that the young white people who move to inner areas of NYC are the progressive, liberal, equality driven, cultural enthusiasts that they and the media promotes and purports them to be (and even politics, when elections roll around and identity politics fly around everywhere and these aforementioned gentrifying hipster charlatans pretend to be your friend and beg you to vote their way, because they live in NYC so they can't be racist, right?).
Wrong. On the surface, so that you don't attack these people when they walk down the street which they neurotically believe will happen (or they certainly act that way hence the duo in this movie getting the heebie jeebies buying food from a Brooklyn bodega and being hesitant for about a 2 minute dialogue to publicly park their bikes or not), they claim to be harmless little artsies who aren't ignorantly afraid to live in certain areas, but it really takes no digging and barely any scratching the surface off to realize that they are exactly the hateful, prejudiced, classist, hypocritical, selfish morons the rest of us say they are, who live off their parents to sustain a living in NYC and are completely unwilling and incapable of contributing anything to the communities that they apathetically move into and stupidly opt to bicycle through. You don't live in this area and you presumptuously get lost in it and you have the nerve to insult the neighborhood and the people innocently walking by and call them "ghetto." Is this supposed to be funny? I lived in NYC majority of my life since being born there and I honestly have never been unsafe (except the times when it's after midnight and I'm walking alone of course and I still was perfectly safe. I've been in more danger in smaller towns actually because there's less witnesses around!) Anyway do you think you're doing yourself or your demographic any favors by demonstrating this ignorance?
At least Tiny Furniture 2010 intelligently nuanced the classic regional separatism of NYC through witticisms, I suppose, such as "I live in a sh-thole called Bushwick" or "Where are you gonna move, Fort Greene?" because these statements are full of social context alluding to the fact that, yes, young white people who are wealthy enough to do nothing all day except pretentious art are in fact moving to Bushwick and Fort Greene (I'm not proclaiming Tiny Furniture to be Shakespearean in the slightest but it is compared to this movie, the raggedy headed stepchild of the genre).
Or even Broad City on Comedy Central showed obnoxiously fearless young white women from upper middle classed backgrounds volunteering to live in NYC squalor to prove they live on the edge and sell it off as comedy while mocking the lifestyles of native New Yorkers that they struggle to adapt to. While it was annoying, it still was never ever offensive.
But these guys in Fort Tilden 2014 just come right out calling Flatbush ghetto. One of the best universities in the city is in Flatbush. It's so ghetto, yet here you are in lala land getting lost in it. I don't understand racist, classist people. If you hate it so much, why are you there?! What are you doing anyway deep in Brooklyn? Do you think being young white women in Brooklyn makes you ballsy? Ok? Now why make a movie about it? To someone somewhere, this is funny. But to most people, this is pointless and stupid. Why? Idk. Maybe invest in a map or gps, take the subway, call a cab or better yet, gtfo of NYC if it is just too ghetto for you to commute in, dummy. And you might say, hey it's just a movie. It's passed off as realism, and I'm sure we all know someone like the characters in the movie who move to NYC and then complain about it. And two, it's definitely racial because one thing you will learn about NYC if you ever go is that the demographics change neighborhood by neighborhood. They go to one area and say it's so beautiful (it is) in a scene where the two leads get harassed by a bunch of snobby, dramatic white Karens (I know nonwhite people who live in beautiful parts of NYC and other cities but this movie will have you think otherwise) yet when they bike through an area full of literally black and brown people and it looks no different than the other areas they were in, they use the word ghetto and are too disgusted to eat the food that Hispanics prepared for them??? What? Yet they buy a dirty barrel for $200 that a white homeless guy was merely sitting next to, assuming he was selling it? Then they buy drugs in broad daylight at a neighborhood park. Who's ghetto now??? Is it not ghetto because a white guy sold it to you, and it's pills not crack, so it's fine? Is riding a bike not ghetto too? If you're a person of color on a bike, you're poor and ghetto, right? Two young white women on a bike is fine though? They're not passing this off as a comedy mocking the characters such as Night At The Roxbury or something. They really expect us to find the characters funny as if their attitudes and reactions are relatable and reasonable. If there was a joke here, it's a bad one and they need help developing a sense of humor, a plot, characters, a script...everything. But no. Again, I'm glad they made this movie. All of my thoughts and feelings about gentrification in NYC have been confirmed here. Thanks!
On top of that, watching them ditch someone's bike they borrowed because their reasoning is so nonexistent is painfully annoying. Watching them call clothes cheap and tacky--meanwhile they ask other people for everything specifically money for basic things--is painfully annoying. It's not funny. I think even wealthy people would find them insufferable. At least Frances Ha 2012 showed her trying. I loved that movie. I didn't relate to her background, but I related to trying in NYC and in life as a single young woman. I think I even cried at the end.
This movie is about to make me cry too, but from agony.
NYC is for people who were born there, poor jobseekers, enrolled students, businesspeople, and entertainers (more so those who have concrete plans than those with open ended goals and dreams such as in Los Angeles). If you are not in the above groups, you should leave NYC. That specifically includes these two nasty pieces of you know what who snide and scorn everyone across the entire region of Brooklyn when they are no one to judge anyone.
And then one of them sarcastically says, "you're gonna be really comfortable in Africa" to the other one going to the Peace Corp in an African country. Was this a cue for viewers to laugh? I wanna meet whoever laughed and have a nice little chat... First of all, Africa has some very "comfortable" places, hence why so many people can't stop invading the place to take what's there. Secondly, if you know anything about the Peace Corp, they put you in places on every continent that no human would decide to go; that's the point of being a world volunteer! I read one of the job placements just now and they specifically stated for every position, including the ones that aren't in Africa, that you "may be without water, plumbing, electricity, internet" and that you may have to "walk miles to and from location" due to a lack of infrastructure and transportation. Therefore, this is not about Africa being uncomfortable; this is about Peace Corp placements intentionally being in uncomfortable places to propagate westernization and modernization, or to just help for a little while; it's like the Army but for teachers. So why was this made racial when every character in the movie kept insulting Africa?
Also, how typical of them to smack dab in the middle of the movie have them argue like it's some pivotal plot driver. The conversation was unbearable and nauseating, the way they argue so vapidly and vacuously. Ugh. I told myself when I first came here and read reviews, "they've been annihilated enough as it is, don't do it." Well that went away by the minute watching these two birds say and do the hateful nasty things they said and did.
Model Minority (2012)
One of the few films that make me cry
Screw that review who said the soundtrack is "wretched"; here I am now searching for the rest of the soundtrack. When I discovered this film last year, I fell in love with the ending scene song, and Song For Mia by Lizz Wright has been replayed countlessly when I need to purge negativity. Yea it might be a typical teen TV movie song, like something in a classic Lifetime film, but it's a beautiful song. There are also beautiful scores here and other great songs, especially the opening song. It's a matter of opinion but some things are pure fact. They are, in fact, technically good songs; not liking the song doesn't mean it's not good. I say all this to say that a good soundtrack is important even if it's not needed.
This film said a lot without saying much. It showed racism without being offensive or out of touch; this movie shows that there is many times a racist coalition between whites and Asians towards other minorities; hence making Asians the "model minority." Asians can onlook while whites, such as the mother in the movie, throw slurs at blacks, and it's a reality that the film does in what seems an understated or simple way. Also, the black/Latino shoppers who were honestly trying to shop are told to leave while the hapa girl who is actually stealing is able to steal due to the shopkeeper being distracted shooing the brown skinned people away. It's similar to a scene in Takeout Girl about an Asian drug mule; the kingpin who recruited her to move narcos for them specifically said the Asian girl would be perfect for this job because "she's never seen" as in, not racially profiled by police typically (I know LA has Asian gangs but it's rare compared to the amount of Asians who fulfill the Model Minority type). The characters here do not fulfill the trope; the title is sardonic. I like that this movie is not exalting people who are mixed with white. I'm sure many people relate to the onscreen family. The only "problem" is that, from the mouths of many hapas, most of their issues comes from having an immoral white dad, and an Asian tiger mom. That is a far "better" storyline because it's more prevalent in reality; most hapas have white dads and Asian moms. This movie had the opposite, but it was still fine to depict what happens when you do not achieve the American Dream, though your template is perfectly prepared for it. Asians are model minorities because they're a nonwhite group that many times does better than whites. But they're not magicians or unicorns; their kids do drugs, drop out, hate their parents, have self esteem issues etc. Even when they're half white and probably moreso. The white mom pretty much says that she got with the Japanese dad because he had a promising future in the engineering world; yet he ended up a manual laborer who picked up a drinking habit from his chauvinistic coworkers. It is interesting to see an unsuccessful Asian; since Hollywood refuses to diversify (despite the token Oscar-thrown movie every year about minorities), we do not see what Asian Americans can really go through, and mythify them as "model minorities." More feature length movies about Asian American realism need to happen and they need to happen now (not bro movies or rom-coms either or whatever Everything Everywhere All At Once is, but serious movies about real and contemporary Asian American and hapa families).
Sure, one of the major downfalls of the interracial family can be blamed on black/Latino males who drug deal to the mom; there are drug dealers of all races, but whatever. But there was a black boy in the movie who Kayla liked, but she rejected him even though he was from a higher class than her and her family. Yet, she gladly dated a black drug dealer, and the mom slept with black drug dealers to get discounts on drugs, and Amberlyn the poor little sister started messing around with a black drug dealer even though 98% of the film, Amberlyn is rather entitled in being mixed and turns her cheek to racism. However, I don't think that the writer/director(s) is confused; I think the characters are confused. Racism is silly essentially, so making sense of it will eventually fail and racists will always be inconsistent, always. This film shows that. Hapas must date other hapas, whites, or successful Asians apparently. Failing that, date a colored drug dealer and claim it as a momentary lapse of judgement, or plead insanity or something. I will never understand why she dated Treyshawn and not JJ. Never. The only thing I can think of, is that Treyshawn isn't as black as JJ? Maybe he gets a pass for being mixed race or Latino? I don't know, but clearly Kayla has issues. "My dad is gone and my mom is crazy; let's date a black drug dealer." I don't know. She could've had a different downfall, such as getting into porn or drugs herself. Perhaps this movie is saying that while Kayla is not a true model minority, she still likes to be exalted by someone even if he happens to be a drug dealer. Model minorities are all about exaltation and Kayla never gets it otherwise.
The only thing I hate about this movie is, sorry to say, the casting. I'm sure they could've found a better girl to play Kayla who lacks charisma and personality, sorry; Nicole Sakura is a pretty girl, but she seems very withdrawn. She always looked like she was holding a fart in. Maybe Kayla is withdrawn, but you can be withdrawn with feeling as an actor. Maybe her script failed her; they could've shown her losing her mind a bit; she holds up quite well all things considered; she never cried or yelled or swore or fought from what I remember.
They could've definitely found better actors to play the black drug dealers who clearly are not from this lifestyle (which is a good thing) but it made their villainous roles stale and unconvincing and the script should've consulted with someone who knows "street talk" because the slang and delivery was just bad. "Ay what up girl? You got bank?" Yeah, never. One of them also called their dad "my paw." Um no. Black people (who use slang, that is) call their dads "Pops." Not...paw, wtf. This is not a secret, hidden code word; it is common public knowledge. Also thugs are "mack-ish", ghetto casanovas especially when it comes to women who they must philander to bait them; the guy playing Treyshawn and his script missed the mark by miles, sorry. I know, I know, no one cares about proper cultural representation especially of black people, but if you're going to write black people particularly from a certain subculture and put them in over 50% of the movie, then get it right. Treyshawn's actor could've/should've practiced talking sexy in the mirror before he started filming like licking his lips, and talking with a slower drawl. Since the dealers are in majority of the movie, it becomes potentially unwatchable to see them fail at their characters, but the story around it is too good to abandon the movie for a couple bad actors. Chris Tashima is sexy and ageless. The Grandma and JJ had the best actors.
The movie is so good that, despite weak performances and some weak parts in the script, I still felt the story and still cried at the ending. Song For Mia wasn't even needed to add to the melodramatics; it's just a sad situation.
A.M.I. (2019)
...Did this biiiii just strangle a cat...?
I'm no PETA or ASPCA vegan or anything. But that looked like real life strangling... I doubt this movie has the budget for an animatronic cat to simulate being suffocated in its face and meowing. It looked real. The cat's eyes were watering, its face was squished. What... I hope nothing like that ever happens again in this film. But thankfully it's such an unsuccessful movie that I don't even need to tell people not to watch it--no one is watching it already. Congrats you sick losers. I was just about to give you guys some pity kudos as well, and you go and have this elderly witch playing a teenager strangle a real cat.
Ku bei (2021)
A Westerner director taints Taiwan with their debauchery
I love Asian films; I have an incomplete list of my favorite Asian movies right here on iMDB; the playlist hasn't been updated for years so it doesn't reflect that I've seen probably 300 Far East/Southeast Asian movies--the banned ones as well. And I knew right away while watching this movie, that an Asian did not direct this. Japan and South Korea and probably Hong Kong as an honorable mention have some pretty gory and sexual movies, and Japan is a world leader for (legal) Adult Movies. Yet still they have a totally different style than The Sadness. Gratuitous lust and violence is just not what Asia does; even Japan's nastiest AV films and hentai have long, developed plots and character developments. This movie is gory and depraved and nothing more and from the very beginning--and I like it, but I what I don't like is that a westerner thinks this is the only way they can contribute to Taiwanese media, or that this is the only way Taiwan can contribute to the film industry. Taiwan barely puts out any movies; it's incredibly irrelevant in the industry. In order to succeed in this industry, the Taiwanese often just identify as Chinese and work in China or The West, much like Australians going to UK or America for a true big break and entertainment career. The only Taiwanese films worth mentioning are Eat, Drink, Man, Woman and The Wedding Banquet (both directed by the same guy) and Millennium Mambo and Monga, and they're both directed by the same dude too and all those movies are probably my age. Yet, The Sadness is now Taiwan's most popular movie at this point, and has set a standard for Taiwan to only put out similar movies to it now. That's just wrong.
When The West influences other countries, those countries get worse. South Korea is a very conservative place and culture (not that I like conservative stuff all the time) but on a night of celebrating Halloween (a 100% Western culture) almost hundreds of people die or get severely injured in a human stampede last year. Japan is also incredibly westernized and their rates (life and death and poverty and crime and depression and movie ratings and probably more) are decreasing and increasing in the wrong directions as we all know. Now we have Taiwan, classed as a very safe country, distributing depravity on Netflix and westerner platforms while handholding a westerner who does this to them. It's very sad. People may hate China (and on a separate note: Islam), but they stay afloat the longer they resist The West whether we like it or not.
That being said, if I exclude the political and social context, this is probably the most disturbing movie I've seen, and I've seen A Serbian Film, banned Japanese AV (and banned for a reason), Martyrs the French version, 100s of indie horror films, blue comedies/kinky and absurd softcore movies, and more. I've also seen the much milder 28 Days Later, The Crazies, and Train to Busan which this movie can't escape being compared to. What this movie does better than them is show what being crazy and infected can really do to someone; they're not just going to be hissing and chasing you like all the other movies show. It makes perfect sense for all of your emotions to be hysterical when you're viral, including sex drive, because your blood is going haywire. It's also a bit biblical for people to descend to the lowest of the low in the end of times. This movie does not play it safe, which is fine, even though there is literally no storyline and barely a script. The things the mutants do in The Sadness outmatches every zombie/apocalypse movie of all time and it easily dethrones Train to Busan which was the long standing reigning champ of zombie movies, and it's simply not for everyone. It's definitely for me, but I just wish Taiwan did not let westerners ruin them and I wish Taiwan had more and better films on the regular. Because of these two factors, I gotta rate the movie badly. If Taiwan had way more movies to the point where The Sadness was an obscure gem rather than the standout representative that it is, I'd be fine. And/or, if a Taiwanese directed this, I'd also be fine. All the positivity goes to the actors and the makeup artists and the sound editors. I will not give any credits to the subversive westerner director.
Rideshare (2018)
This was actually a very good indie dark comedy!
I love almost everything about this film. Clearly the budget is lower in some aspects but I cannot tell when it comes to other things such as the art direction (lighting and the color palette like colorful bedroom and city lights against the nighttime metropolis, and some gem shots of LA that they manage to get). It has a very nice "millennial" aesthetic and "vibe" that makes the movie even more watchable for a film that I constantly re-watch as it is. It's a simple, easy watch. For some reason people think a good movie has to be full of gore and convoluted plot twists and a Shakespearean script, and it's a shame. This is a fine film and even though every passenger in the movie had very personal views or a distinct personality, the film stays neutral since Jason's contrary attitude provided a dichotomy to everything every customer said, so it gives watchers two perspectives per ride. You can now decide who you like. There are no protagonists or heroes; you understand that the riders aren't great people but you also understand that Jason is still a sicko. It's really just another (fictitious) night in LA.
There's not enough slack given for the acting and the script, both of which I loved. I laughed out loud more than half the movie. I don't find anything wrong with how the main actor (the driver Jason) talks; his character is clearly a sarcastic misanthrope, so the deadpan Fred Flintstone tone from the actor seems for the most part intentional. The script has modern realism to it but doesn't seem improvised. Most movies fail to sound realistic and relatable and natural because they try too hard, so it doesn't work. I think this film didn't try much, to be honest, and weirdly it did work (when it comes to the dialogue sounding like everyday conversation).
The plot is omnibus style, with episodic acts for each passenger. Some are killed off, some aren't. No characters are constant; everyone has one scene (except a motel hooker he rendezvouses with and one passenger who uses Jason as a personal chauffeur around town who he tips handsomely), and the pace is therefore unique and enjoyable. He had 10 pickup customers (1 pickup was food delivery) in the movie, and I liked 9 of the scenes.
He had a bimbo, a quirky couple, a wealthy bachelor, a rich couple, a food delivery, an influencer, a goth, a social justice warrior, a friend group of guys, and a single guy. I did not like the influencer scene; it was the only unfunny scene, however it was the only passenger he had who he should have felt wrath for (can't believe I just said that) because she was picking on him. My only issue with the film is that his killing motives are inconsistent/unclear. He's clearly selective with who he kills, since he did not kill the quirky couple (they befriended him and invited him to a comedy show), the bachelor who gave him big tips, nor the goth who actually listened to Jason's feelings. He didn't kill them because they were nice and didn't do anything to him (I'd assume) yet he killed the food delivery customer at her house, who also did nothing to him; she even let him inside to pee! And everyone else he killed merely for being annoying.
So I can conclude that the film has no point or aim, to be honest, other than to depict a what-if scenario about a murderous cabbie, since that technically is a horror story. The problem here is that I was not horrified; I found everything funny. My favorite scene is the social justice warrior! That debate went on and on, too hilarious. There was also a very bizarre, confusing last minute twist that still doesn't make sense, not even when I read the current Wikipedia plot description. But since that only took up the last 2 minutes of the film, I can ignore that and say the film was almost perfect with all things considered particularly the lower budget (it clearly seems to have a lower budget, but to not eat my words I googled really quick to find the budget; I did not find the actual budget but I did find an online donation website where the director is literally begging for money to make and distribute this movie). I think they did a pretty good job with all things considered, and it's plain unfair to be so scrutinizing of independent creators who work with what they have. These people have to look back on their passion with trauma because of nasty comments about stuff that really is not that serious. Well done and I'm currently on my 5th time watching this movie probably, and I discovered it two months ago.
The Blackout Experiment (2021)
All I can say is wow
My first thought was, "why would people do this to themselves appearing in a film like this?"
The plot is simple because it's been done a million times (this Escape/Survival genre is a growing favorite and I appreciate the effort of every film). Not everyone can be a Hollywood film with a cinematic release (and even some of those films are garbage) but some contributors to this had no business doing this. There was some good eye candy in here for me as a straight woman. So that helps and might even be a tactic to keep viewers watching. I think the main issue is the director/budget/experience of the crew or lack thereof who had no business doing a movie type that they cannot afford, rather than the talent of the actors.
Except Gun Girl. Her acting/accent was something I have honestly never witnessed before. I really don't want to insult her but she should've just used the gun on herself. LOL that was mean, I'm just joking...
These people need to get practice directing/writing/acting/editing in short films and theater plays, I think, before they do feature length films that require a decent budget regardless of the simplicity of the plot and the freshness of the cast.
Headgame (2018)
Borderline parody
5 stars only because this is my favorite movie genre (b-movie horror survival game).
But first things first, right away I had to mention this: they have cameras installed in their foreheads. Ok, silly (albeit original), but that's not the issue. The issue is...unless the kidnapping sadists are still so humane and caring and kind and fed these people several painkillers, there's no way they wouldn't be woozy and slurring and in serious, serious, serious pain with a camera sticking out of their heads! And still bleeding down their faces indicating a huge fresh wound! Not once (so far) do I see anyone holding their head in agony or stumbling over going cross eyed and light headed from pain, come on. This ridiculous plothole and lack of logic 10 minutes in is potentially making this film downright impossible to sit through. Not to mention, well, the bad acting which literally sounded like some things Cindy would say in Scary Movie. How do you make a mockery of yourself so badly in a film that isn't classed as a parody? Maybe it's some homage to this genre having certain tropes like a braindead bimbo for the lame guys watching, but that tradition needs to die unless the movie is a satire, and this is not.
I hate comparing escape game horrors to Saw but...I might just recommend Saw instead of this, or support far more of the other indie movies in this genre which I will do.
I will say (while I saw it coming because these movies always kill off the obnoxious muscular bad boy first), that I am thankful they got rid of him fast because he was seriously insufferable and not hot.
Also, the camera lenses look like when you lick the back of an Oreo cookie and stick it on your face. Bye.
1 Night in San Diego (2020)
So annoying!?
I had to turn this movie off when I was annoyed SO badly at the annoying blonde who desperately drove "3 hours from LA to San Diego to become an actor's girlfriend and get tickets to ComicCon from him" (as she always whines every 5 minutes like some sort of plot driver) and made an oath with her best friend to party the night away just to redeem themselves and make their journey and expenses worthwhile, but as soon as she finally gets let into a club after "walking around all night in heels" and skipping the line and coming up with a story to get invited in though the bouncer called her "ma'am", she doesn't budge an inch and engages in a silly, agonizing argument with him that he shouldn't call her a "ma'am". I was literally yelling at the screen while she was arguing "stfu before he changes his mind! Who cares?! Shut up and go in!?" and then the divine intervention of a relatively known local celebrity claims the girls are with him to the bouncer, and STILL the blonde is whining and complaining to the bouncer about being called "ma'am" and ruining her chances to go inside the club even with the miracle of a VIP member inviting her in, like really? You complain all night that you wasted your time and money and can't get into a club but as soon as the bouncer concedes to let you in you argue with him, twice? There is no logic.
And then some groupies said "tbh" instead of "to be honest" and the annoying blonde had the nerve to say, "did she just say tbh like it's an actual word?" and I'm like, you live in LA and you kind of talk like that too so how is conversing with social media slang a shock...? Why did the writers forget that their main characters are not the pinnacles of logic and wit but wrote them sarcastically criticizing other groupie dimwits. This movie is literally about them being groupie dimwits themselves! If you drive across the state to impress a guy and use him to party at exclusive events, and then he ends up rejecting you on the spot, and now you have no other plans so you traipse the town on foot all night trying to get into clubs and you don't (unless you beg, or lie, which they did)...yea, I don't wanna hear judgements from you, sweetie.
And the way that they wrote the blonde's best friend's character is also unbearable, she comes up with outlandish things about the blonde, forcing character and plot development with nonexistent preceding events due to lazy vision and writing. For instance, while they're BOTH scorning the groupies who talk drunken nonsense like an extreme caricature of the protagonist duo, the best friend suddenly defends them to the blonde and asks, "are you jealous that they're giving me attention?"
...
WHAT?! First of all, where did that even come from? And second of all, no she's calling them dumb because they are. What kind of rationale is in the vapid mind of the writer(s)? Like viewers would agree with the direction the script just went in and wait with bated breath for what's gonna happen next. "Will the besties fall out after this ridiculous argument? And if they fall out, how will they get home? What will happen along the way?" This isn't The Odyssey! Who gives a deuce at this point!?
I never talk to the screen because I think it's crazy but I was yelling at the screen, and I honestly like bad indie comedies because I admire living your life as a creator and taking chances as such, but this was so annoying and I had only seen 5 minutes of the movie (this scene that I just reviewed) because I skipped through the movie to see if I want to watch it, if anything interesting happens, if I like the cinematography, fashion, vibe, plot direction, cast, etc. And the only 5 minutes I saw were unbearable. NOT going to bother.
Cam (2018)
Not the Cam Girl version of Fight Club-disappointing
I was heavily invested in this film until right about the 35th minute, and the 35th minute too soon. She shows the doppleganger camshow to her friends to prove she's not crazy.
A: the film should've never had that happen, and should've just made this an alter ego thing, where she loses herself in that room, like The Machinist with Christian Bale where he loses himself to a psychosomatic disorder while locked in his room, or American Psycho as well where he becomes a split version of himself witnessing himself commit crime like an out of body thing, Stucco a short film where a neurotic recluse's anxiety turns into depraved nymphomania or vice versa, and Fight Club, where the insanity is totally disassociated from the insane person's mind as they get lost in their secret life. This film ruined that deeper concept by having other people witness with her that the cam show is in fact happening live with a clone. And that's just silly and there's no deep, profound, plausible reason at all to look forward to.
Or B: they should've saved the part at the 35th minute to the end, the very very end like a Twilight Zone episode where the weirdest part of all leaves viewers speechless on an open ended note.
Gratuitous nudity of semi-attractive females, underwhelming gore, played-out aesthetics, bad acting, stupid plot, useless soundtrack.
I can't get over the fact that the lead actress looks like a female Joaquin Phoenix and not a nice one either.
This film shot itself in the foot, over and over, and for 0 tokens.
Don't Talk to Irene (2017)
BLAME IT ON THE RAIN!
*Amazing ending scene. Unfortunately, about 20 people particularly the elderly had to learn an entire dance number for a whole song lol and for only 20 other people in that hamlet suburb they flash mobbed in to see the dance, let alone that only 100 people will ever see this movie. Regardless, that ending scene warmed my heart and introduced me to the great song Blame It On the Rain!
*I only saw the last 30 minutes of the film to preview if I want to watch all of it, since I only found it over the weekend by browsing feel-good movies on Tubi TV. Now, I will watch the rest of it. The script for the mother seems very good, or at least well acted out. The theme or moral of the story, albeit a bit cliche, was still heartwarming and sweet. The ending was cheesy, though, and like a dream that I expected her to wake up from with her suddenly being completely accepted by the cheerleaders. It should've ended at her bully apologizing to her. That would've been great. This movie was largely (excuse the pun) like a movie called Pizza 2005. Same message, about the overweight underdog coming out on top, or something like that. The Geena Davis idolatry twist was--weird.
I give the film 9/10 for what parts I did see giving a constant great impression. Well shot, well acted, well casted, great soundtrack. Hopefully it all can hold up 90 minutes of runtime.
***UPDATE!***
From 9/10 to 10/10! I just finished the film. It sped by. There were several laugh out loud moments. In fact, I think this movie was too short actually! This was perfectly indie. A little Napoleon Dynamite-ish, except more 80s influenced here. This is a total gem, every character was great and perfectly casted, for sure now that I've watched. Now I felt a feeling of happy tears forming, like watching your child walk across the stage at graduation. The cinematography was great; there was a satirical photographic/music video-esque inspiration here that should be the envy and blueprint for indie films (thought I do notice many high school movies pull from the 80s, perhaps in nostalgia of the film crew who don't know what current high school is like and draw from their own memories and experiences?). The coloring was perfect, the amount of saturation made this film kind of pastel but not in a boring way. Every song was amazing, very 80s post punk and Synthwave pre-Rave. I've added them all to my library! I could watch this film over and over, to be honest. Here's to the 2nd time straight watching it tonight.
Nope (2022)
Holy moly this was a long watch, and not because it was over 2hours!
Keke Palmer is annoying as usual, but I think they had her act that way in an attempt to keep some kind of energy or life in this movie going. It didn't work, in fact her sudden outbursts and shouting were bigger jumpscares than the actual jumpscares. Daniel Kaluuya's character has a reason to be depressed but his character was annoyingly depressing and reticent because when we need him to scream, he never did it. When we needed Keke to shut up, she didn't. It's crazy. Luckily it just makes Kaluuya sexy because I like laidback chill men, but that isn't the point or purpose of his character being a tongue tied, emotionally absent dullard. Hence him saying "nope" instead of screaming. In fact I'm not quite sure what the purpose is, other than to make him the underdog hero, the timid depressed person who outsmarts a big scary monster.
They strategically put the most exciting/disturbing part smack. Dab. In the middle of the movie, which is ironically the least important part of the movie entirely, when the monkey goes crazy. No one in the comments is really explaining the monkey/horse/Steven Yuen thing because they don't want to ruin the spoilers, but seriously there is nothing to spoil, and the entire connection between the trifecta prolongs the movie running time about 30-40 minutes in all honesty. It's a 3/10 back story mainly because of its anti-climactic uselessness, but yes it makes total sense, regardless, so kudos still to the originality; however that storyline or plot driver could've been written 100 pages shorter and executed in about 5-10 consecutive minutes runtime as a whole.
The most creative part of this movie is the worst part of this movie, which is the setting. An empty ranch in the wild west desert. It was unsettling, as intended, but not for the reason it intended. It wasn't creepy; it was just lacking aesthetics and character and I never got used to it. That's all. At least the rural location in Signs by that insufferable M Night dude had character, in that the location was the main element of the film. I don't see why this film takes place where it does. They can train horses anywhere. It's a horse, not a lion or an eagle. It doesn't need to be in the middle of nowhere lol. Plus because their ranch is so vast, it requires Keke Palmer to be even louder and unbearable as usual so that her onscreen fellows can hear her character talk from the gate to the house or from the car to the house. They really brought the ghetto to the range, and it was misplaced and unfunny, and why is she masculine. Can't she be a tough chick without being MASCULINE. Yes, look at Lara Croft, Hermione, Trinity from Matrix, Catwoman, heck even Wonderwoman, Ziyi Zhang. They are all tough and still feminine, Keke. Jesus. Can't she be a confident, representative black woman without being profane and improper? And that accent. Sweet mother. Was that supposed to be--endearing...? That attitude is not as relatable as you people in Hollywood seem to think it is. And it's not a good representation of her acting skills, either, if they exist at all, since she's constantly playing a stereotype which might just come naturally to her. I don't think she was acting, do you? That's just how she talks. In fact...Her character Em is not a good representation of anything. Em is always of no help to her shy onscreen brother, who does all the work and masterminding, strangely, since Keke's character would have you think SHE'D be the hero since she acts all tough. It was just pointless and disappointing.
The final 30 or so minutes of the film was a ridiculous, unexhilarating alien-chase, with them setting up cameras and pep talk and big boss fight rehearsal literally done in a montage over triumph music. Like nerds in an 80s movie compiling their plan to lose their virginity or defeat the school bully once and for all. Honestly it was like watching Mr. Miyagi train the Karate Kid. Was it supposed to be funny like a satire, or were they being serious? I paused at that point to write this movie.
The main issue with this film is that it's pointless, ugly, and mostly boring, despite the events and budget. I have no idea why Peele is doing an alien movie anyway. Put the camera down and enjoy your riches. Do not waste it on silly crap. Alien movies are not worth the budget and they're ridiculous but still need to make sense in their own ridiculous way. Peele is better off doing a zombie apocalypse movie or hey. Maybe make a movie about guys in the 80s trying to lose their virginity. Those are cliche movies that are still interesting because they are foolproof. Peele is clearly overdoing the "HAHA look at me now, I'm making movies! And not just ANY kind of movies" thing when it comes to whatever naysayers or insecurities he has and is biting off more than he can chew. Leave the silly horrible sci-fi stuff to M Night, bro. You lost any target audience you might have had because you confused and bored them to death.
M3GAN (2022)
Lmao!!! Bride of Chucky meets the short horror comedy from 2019 called Finley!
I don't know if this is intentional humor, but I am crying laughing before we even get halfway through. When M3gan got chomped by Dewey the Dog, sorry M3gan baby, but when she got up with the twigs and leaves in her hair I chuckled because she kept talking like nothing happened. And then during the presentation, I started to shed some tears when Cady cried about her parents to M3gan, but then they ruined it when she suddenly sang the friendship song to Cady LOL. She was on beat, and it rhymed too. Go 'head M3gan, you better sing, girl! LOL. It's almost as if I know that M3gan is mocking the good-doll thing, and then the way they designed her physically is hilariously adorable so I don't find it scary (not yet; I will update my review as the movie progresses).
And then they just had to go and put Ronnie Chieng. I didn't know who he was until this film but his facial expressions are funny. His character is creeped out by M3gan's spontaneous accuracy and surprising intellect and emotional spectrum, but he can't let anyone KNOW he's freaked out--or else the M3gan prototype won't sell LOL.
Some issues with the film though. Why are the investors in a red-interior, dim-lit room for the presentation? Horrible design, which failed to reflect the aesthetics of neither a cutting edge thriller nor an ultramodern, futuristic world only because the tone of the film is humorous, not sophisticated. Some of the investors looked like pantomime spy assassins from The Matrix or something. It was just silly for them to be sitting in darkness and with red furniture. Presentations done in professional office environments are often times well lit and are neutrally, minimally colored like wood or glass, with white walls and furnishing that's shades of black/grey.
Cady's parents were insufferable.
You'd think a most likely very high earning roboticist would live in a better environment than one with a brash, backwoods Karen and thug dog for a neighbor.
Too bad Curt turned out to be (what he turned out to be); but I just knew a high tech company in a place like Seattle wouldn't honestly have a bumbling, stuttering, insecure, useless dork like him around for nothing--which I was about to point out, until he did (what he did). No spoilers.
They also said give "no leaks" about M3gan right after the investors--viewed M3gan. Yet...they have the social worker of ALL people, interviewing Cady right at the lab where...M3gan was made. These visits in real life are scheduled ahead of time, so why did the aunt agree for the social worker to meet there? Now that M3gan creeped out the social worker, you think she won't report this? Or, if she is impressed by M3gan, you still think she won't report this? But of course, this film needs the social worker to be the one giving all the plot driving exposition about M3gan's flaws impacting Cady's psychology as a child particularly an orphan, and this conveniently happens right at the middle of the movie. The obvious red herring (so not a very good red herring) is that the social worker needs to shut up and that it's not Cady's psychology we must worry about... It wasn't supposed to be formulaic and contrived, but it still kind of was.
Then I screeched laughing when Cady went to a kid's event and the counselor offered for M3gan (again seen in public particularly by child care!) to be put in the holding area where the other kids keep their "dolls." LOL I had to laugh because M3gan is indeed NOT a doll lol!
However, M3gan should be allowed her own bed. She is human in as many ways as necessary to feel discomfort, and having her sit up on a charging pad with her eyes opened is kind of inhumane now. No wonder she's evil, the poor thing is neglected and sleep deprived lol.
Personally as the movie goes through, I look at myself 3/4 of the way through and nothing much has happened. I feel we were all waiting for something but we don't even know what that thing is. Over hyped apparently. I personally was waiting for the Titanium singing part and that dance lol. (Oh look, the Titanium part is here LOL it didn't fail omg, hilarious!! This is something straight out of Scary Movie which we're better off with to be honest.) However, other than weirdly placed humor, I'm not quite sure why a Sia song was included... is this something to do with how she controls that Maddy dancer girl, who is accused of being Sia's own little M3gan?
I digress.
But as funny as it was, it can't be the best part of the movie or any movie. Especially one classed as a horror. The kills have all been borderline slapstick. Everyone is supposed to be scared and instead we're laughing, ironically like a failed experiment. The color palette is very boring and serious, very gray, very cloudy, too which doesn't help for an uneventful film. They got lucky with M3gan being received very widely as (unintentionally) hilarious and has gone viral because of it, but we can't deny the fact that the movie is advertised as a HORROR. It's not scary, so it failed. So to be honest, the film crew behind it needs to quit the business--OR just make more horror COMEDIES.
Also. Just tear the doll apart. Wanna break a computer? Take the hard drive out. Duh. Wanna kill a car? Take out the engine lol. There was even a scene where they explained the doll parts, and one part was called "the brain." It's a screwed in compartment. Just...take it out.
Side thought:
I don't know which song is more iconically bad:
"Sucked...into...a bagel" from Everything Everywhere All At Once
or
M3gan singing "Accentuate the positive...eliminate the negative" LOL.
Girl in Golden Gate Park (2021)
A great, unique film!
...Now...I'll start off by saying:
It's clear the reviews from Feb 2021 and Nov 2021--are fake. Well they're certainly nepotistic. It's great to have a support system, but don't put a raving review just because the filmmaker is your personal friend/relative/business partner. I know you guys put effort into this film (I can tell, to be honest) but don't b.s. Your reviews. When people start catching wind of the film and see this, it'll look bad.
Anywho.
I'll minus one star for the blatantly fake reviews. But everything about the film was great. I truly am inspired by the local imagery; they look very similar to the quaint, mountainous suburbs of Japan, with gray yet clear skies, the boldest green foliage and forestry, minimalist yet modern architecture, and vividly colored wardrobes against the muted background. They were genius to have Erin Mei Ling Stuart wear that lively blue peacoat since the film is very gray and quiet.
Another thing, Stuart needs more films. She's phenomenal. Her face is strong and her body is poetic--and her haircut and tattoos are cool. It's so rare to see an Asian American in a film, and one that isn't about martial arts, too. We see Asian foreign nationals with accents (which is fine) but there needs to be more stories told through fiction feature length films about Asians in the Bay Area, LA, etc. I'm sure they have so many stories to tell, even if it's not necessarily about BEING ASIAN. There's a lot of documentaries and short films about it, but where are the feature length films? (I'm not Asian, by the way, just incredibly bored with Hollywood).
Now as far as the plot, it's very stripped down and simple, and I think that's why people rate it poorly. I guess the Asian perspective on gentrification in San Francisco is underappreciated (Asian women DO typically make the highest income in the USA, so a story about one of them being/becoming homeless might be an eyeroller, and the humbly budgeted nature of the film and simplicity of the premise might be a yawn fest too.) But I dug it.
The only issue I have is: I'm not quite sure if the outcome of the film is what they were going for. It starts off with her doing a bootcamp-esque warm up in the woods, and edgy rock music that delivered an empty promise of kick-a** girl power revenge. That the main character was going to be a force to be reckoned with. She KIND OF was. Yet, the film progressed and finished anti-climactically. Not quite sure why she was training in the woods like Rocky. She didn't actually fight anyone lol and her character is rather subdued. She enlists (or twists the arm of) another Asian woman to enact revenge on the wealthy white woman who made her homeless in an everchanging city by literally gentrifying the apartment she was living in with her ailing father. There was a lot of talking, not much action (that's not going to go over well with viewers usually), but I really like the way Erin talks so it was ok. She is clearly a seasoned thespian who can handle the verbosity of a script. She could read the nutrition label on a box of popcorn and it would be great. (I'm not her; I am a genuine viewer who doesn't know any of the people in this film.)
At the end of the day, however, this is a great film. It's clearly unique because if you search it up on Google, for instance, there are no suggested similar films. The algorithm (on my end) draws a blank. So there really needs to be more movies like this, with an Asian-AMERICAN LEAD cast and these beautiful visuals, atmospheric aesthetics, and a great soundtrack from the cool female indie rockers to the relaxing electric nu-jazz that is nostalgic to strolling through a big city park on a Sunday. I'm a New Yorker and I want to explore this little town now, just because of this film, that much is true.
Keep making films about Californian reality, hire Erin Mei Ling Stuart for all of them, and don't lie about your reviews, peeps.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Escapism--a sci-fi/action packed version of Pan's Labyrinth
Of course my opinion doesn't matter. They've swept the awards season just like Squid Games did last year, and Parasite did the year or so before, and Crazy Rich Asians did the year before. (Noticing a trend are we?)
Scratch that. Who cares if they won awards! My opinion DOES matter!
Now I am reviewing this as I watch. Currently, the film gets 10 out of 10 because I think I understand exactly what it's saying. So far, 30 minutes in, I think we are looking at this film from the main character Evelyn's perspective. She is a detached daydreamer. She has an intense inner world, she has wishes that her family members were saviors and adored leaders, when it reality they are the banes of her existence or vice versa. In the other dimensions or "verses", her daughter's alternate versions existing in every other dimension has killed every version of Evelyn, and the final one is the version we see, a worn down Chinese-American immigrant and mom and pending divorcee with insurmountable debts and a laundromat that is about to be foreclosed (or something like that). I will change my rating as the film goes on if necessary, if it gets too messy and makes this more complicated than what I think it is.
I also give the movie 10 stars for its perfect coloring, thus far. One thing that annoys me is when a movie has saturation and a color palette that doesn't match the energy or plot or characters (for instance, if a movie is about--I don't know--teenagers running away and encountering dangers in a big city while on acid trips, I'd expect a very colorful and heavily saturated movie with sudden cuts and zapping imagery etc. The movie would be boring if it were in black and white). However the colors here were great. It made the film look literally "cool" with its cool saturation yet not boring due to a colorful wardrobe from bold yellows to vivid patterns to earth tones to pastels in one frame.
This movie is very intelligent, but its fraught with pretentious sci-fi jargon like "alpha, omniverse, cosmic, variations, matter" and other scientific mumbo jumbo and philosophies. I can imagine that its default target audiences (sci-fi fans--and Asian Americans being stereotyped as the nerdy high achieving model minority) totally understand it all, and so the film was unapologetically stuffed with the same information and vocabulary that had everyone else running screaming out of every science and math class in our past, while the target audience and it's bystanding social justice warriors rave to everyone else head scratching. And out of that, the film created this concept of "verse jumping to another version of yourself." But all of that is neither here nor there and very unnecessary and an overly complicated way of showing us someone who daydreams all day, maybe driven a little mad by the sudden realization of what her life is. Right in the elevator, right before she heads to the IRS office to learn her fate, her life flashes before her eyes. It's a moment of providence. She wonders and can suddenly see--how she ended up in mountains of debt in the USA. But the movie shows it, instead, as illusory "verse jumping." It's not. The visuals make it seem as if this is another superhero movie with divinely intervening alter egos that are whipped out right when they need to be. But I think this is satirical. The film takes place at the IRS office, a place where I'm sure anyone who winds up there wishes they could teleport away, of course, or inconsequentially beat up the facility staff and security, and disappear in time during the manhunt, and have their rebellious, wayward and maybe even broke or criminal relatives who you normally are ashamed of just swoop in and suddenly save the day and make you proud finally. Or, during an uncomfortably difficult discussion where the truth hurts too much, and you never have a reason to escape without looking crazy or making that person angry, but then suddenly you can "verse jump" or teleport away and proceed in another life as a better or just different you. Something you can only daydream about. I don't need the silly sci-fi storyline. Maybe other people than just Michelle Yeoh's character are also "verse jumping", creating the film's universe, a "multiverse" of everyone's daydreams/alternate versions interrupting or intercepting.
The movie decided to explain these feelings scientifically with action packed visuals and heavy synth action music and FX, rather than tell the same story spiritually or philosophically with whim and fantasy and atmospheric, natural orchestras--such as what Pan's Labyrinth did in a far less confusing and complicated way. It, too, in a more noble way told the story of someone who juxtaposed daydreams with reality during moments of fear or helplessness.
While people are wowed by the graphics and the adrenaline rushing pace, they don't seem to take any food for thought. Of course I'm still only 30 minutes in, but I can tell already what's going on. Her daughter is a professional verse jumper, and thus a force to be reckoned with in every world, in every dimension, in every universe. Whereas in the universe we all know about, her daughter is an insecure, grungy, depressed, inarticulate outcast. The fact that her daughter is an unstoppable verse jumper means two things: that her daughter must be so depressed that she daydreams A LOT, and/or that her mother is so ashamed and unhappy with her daughter's outcome, that she daydreams up a better daughter.
There was one moment where the film crew must have either been either so aware/worried that the film is in fact confusing regardless of your level of intelligence that they figured we'd need an analogy of omniverse jumping to toppings on an everything-bagel... and while the following moments were weird, I think they needed to be, to depict just how bizarre our daydreams and dreams can be. At least I hope that's what they were going for, and not that they actually took that moment seriously and thought it would be "deep." Because I'm currently unsure, I bring it down to 8 stars.
Ok. My interest level has diminished. Ironically, the zane and absurdities can't keep my attention. The moment they got hot dogs for fingers and some of the guys had to sodomize themselves with random office objects in order to "verse jump" is when I've decided to put the viewing on pause for another day. I will now submit this post and verse jump to another movie.
Side thought: I was just going to comment that her husband Waymond sounds just like the kid from The Goonies. I looked it up, and it's the kid from The Goonies lol all grown up. How cute.
Zola (2020)
The film takes itself too seriously
Read Zola's tweet thread and Jessica's (known as Stefani in the movie) response reddit thread. They are more entertaining, because they had character and personality and, I suppose, endearing flaws. They tell different sides of the same story recalling their road trip (trafficking across the underworld of the USA). There were spaces in this movie that they decided to fill with useless dashboard cinematography and amateur 80s horror movie-esque scores, when they should've filled it with a highly saturated color palette, cut scenes, and intense music like Trap or House genres such as what Tangerine 2015 by Sean Baker did! However the people behind this movie clearly think they're too good to have rap music playing, and I'm not a big fan of rap music but it's certainly welcomed and expected in this kind of movie, and its bleak absence gave the movie a weirdly drab and glum tone that squandered literally everything about it.
This should've been distributed by Gravitas Ventures, not A24. GV's films might not be mainstream but that's probably just due to their budget and daring plots, not because they lack energy and charisma. Whereas A24 films often fail with box office sales but nab awards due to always being pretentiously atmospheric and aesthetic. It's not a good film just because it perfectly ticks film school boxes. It's a good film if the artistry and vision can adapt to something different, and this film has very narrow minded visionaries. There's no color; strippers are very colorful. The color that was there was unappreciated and the saturation was stupidly lowered. There's some look that they're going for and it doesn't belong here. There's no personality. Behind the pantomiming at the beginning, it seems they got tired of it very fast, and I'm sure the viewers did too. Just get a coachable woman who actually has this accent and who can learn to act, since there's not much depth here and the outcome probably would've been the same which is poor acting anyway. But at least it would've been believable and likeable if they had been a bit more organic.
There's literally no soundtrack, except for one or two badly curated songs in the very beginning which delivered empty promises of a humorous, raucous film. This film badly bounced between Harmony Korine's Spring Breakers and Larry Clark's (not trying to make a connection here) Bully film. And while both films are unsavory, at least they're more entertaining and raw and memorable, with Spring Breakers being these things way less so than Bully, but very much more so than Zola. One thing Spring Breakers had was better colors and imagery and pacing, and Bully had better performances and plot drivers and a great soundtrack. I'm not saying Korine nor Clark need to be out here making more movies, but this film would've been better in even their greasy, creepy, strange hands. The guys behind this film need to be making documentaries about ballet school or something else instead because their style is too anticlimactic and wannabe.
There are scenes in this movie against urban, street backdrops, yet no urban, street music is playing. What "hood" or "ghetto" doesn't have rap music blaring from a car or house window? Well the world this movie lives in doesn't. Also, the stripper and erotic scenes were unnecessary, but I guess Taylour Paige needed her moment and I guess Riley Keough (Elvis Presley's granddaughter) doesn't care that she literally is proof that the family line is officially going nowhere. I also don't know if it's just Taylour Paige's natural face, or if they directed her to have a face like something smells the entire movie. Now, during the movie the character commented on bad odors of her surroundings; however, I don't know why the directors (other than clearly being uncultured bores) figured that Zola's perspective was moody cynicism, rather than take a more hyperbolic impression from the tweets and apply it to the life and personality or lack thereof for the film. It was boring. And how can something like this be boring?
Also the coloring they use is so unfitting. Maybe Coleman Domingo (who plays the pimp) influenced them to use the same exact lighting and cosmetics and sound effects as were used in other films he had gigs in called Assassination Nation and Euphoria, both directed by the same person. When they should've taken Sean Baker's hectic realism or Guy Ritchie's climactic style instead. This was the least action packed movie for an action packed story ever.
Also I'm pretty sure you were supposed to laugh out loud a few times or deeply gasp, even though being trafficked isn't funny. However, for a film made by highly budgeted professionals to be upstaged by a ratchet twitter thread, it says...a lot.
Dying to Belong (2021)
Nope!
1/4 of the way through, and they decided to water down initiation rituals. You MUST recite sick and bizarre manifestos and mantras in a secret location to say the least in order to join any greek org and most frats and sors. And the film didn't show this. They showed weirdness after they joined, which was cute, but didn't show what initiations are really like. And who are these people turning a cheek to something called "Hell" week...? Or casually saying the words "Hell Week"? This is just sad. If you're trying to inform people and veer them away from this lifestyle and subculture (which really has ruined humanity because people force themselves to operate in denial of the hazings they led/went through everyday) then dancing delicately around it is a problem. I know members who denounced their membership, and each of them separately break down everything on their own yet all of their recollections are identical. So why make a film about awareness if you're going to lie to people. Weak. And don't say it has to be appropriate for TV because the subject matter alone is inappropriate and Lifetime shows erotic scenes and murders and abuse all the time.
Of course I will keep watching to update my review fairly, but regardless of how the film ends I'm giving it a one star for perpetuating lies. I don't care about exposing college culture because humanity insists on failing by continuing the culture in all aspects of our everyday lives and I'm powerless and hopeless that it will get better, but I care about others who half-expose and DECEIVE.
The character Paige (the sickest soror of all) needed a background. They just showed her being mean. No, not good enough. Why was that little girl so intent on leading violent hazings? The movie made it seem like she just has this rare character flaw; of course she's flawed but she's like that because her family is. She probably represents a real life "legacy" or someone whose family did weird sick crap to enter college/a college org themselves and normalized or even expect her to violently haze. But of course Lifetime (a station I usually love) is too afraid to make a true piece on this topic because the board members of the network are probably in frats and sors lol. They are scared to break the silly pacts they made when reciting those chants in order to join, poor things. And then in the film, the characters lament, "It's Paige" with "it" being, the degrading/dangerous things they have to do (of course watered down by Lifetime). No...no no no no. "It's" not "Paige." "It's" the sorority culture.
But the film doesn't show that. It just shows the obsession to want to join and to keep secrets "safe" as the characters' personal flaws, rather than their immoral obligations to even more immoral traditions and fear, which are the real motives in real life. The film keeps flower dancing around the reality like a hippie dancing around a tree and keeps trying to give the soror demons redeemable qualities like having them say "defend your sisters and brothers" as if that doesn't sound weird and creepy and psycho. Then the black girl who's going undercover in the sorority as a journalist TOLD someone she's undercover.
Pfft! GOODBYE!
And they so insisted on the black girl joining because she would make them look good. A critical thinker would see this plain as day, but if you're just watching and not seeing then ok.
The issue with the world is *that most people who have done you or others harm or who sabotage you or who negatively influence you directly (or indirectly/backstabbing you) ARE in greek orgs/frats/sorors/gangs (same thing), or their spouse/partner is, or they know family members who are and feel the need to cover up for them. And this film takes it lightly. Then the girl died but due to causes according to the film that were unrelated to actual hazing rituals. So "sure, people die while trying to join orgs--but...not because OF the org. Just a tragedy that happened with a member who decided to do this crime." The pressures of joining an organization don't exist in this film's world, and to them it's just a lil drinking, just walking on a wooden board over a lil glass, just a lil cattiness, just a lil jogging, just a lil fall, just a lil night out in the woods, just a lil cold water. When in reality it's a alcohol poisoning and spiked drinks, walking on ACTUAL glass and not a silly board, life ruining gossip, running till you can't run anymore and still made to run, getting pushed down, abandoned far away and made to walk back in the freezing cold. The film literally sees all this as a laughing matter and I know some immature "sisters and bros" wrote or financed this. Well go on then. Go join because "Lifetime made it seem not too bad."
*What I really wanna know is...why? Why join these things? Can't you network and embark on a successful career path without being a complete evil weirdo for the rest of your life by tightrope walking THROUGH the rest of your life while carrying this secret on your shoulder all because you or a relative joined a cult? You poor, poor sick little thing.
A Christmas Crush (2019)
Hilarious and perfect for the holidays!!!
...I'm in shock at these reviews. Where is the holiday spirit, oh my goodness. You people take yourselves too seriously. This is a TV movie, and a holiday one, AND a family friendly one. Each of those genres already separately guarantee moderate budgets and cheesy movies. This film is all of those genres "wrapped" together (wrapped, excuse the Christmas gift pun). If you watch Reel One, Marvista, Johnson Production Group, etc companies on Ion, Hallmark, Lifetime etc networks, then you are familiar with these types of movies so there should be no "throwing up" here at what's endearing, light hearted cheesiness. If you want something deeper, sexier, cooler, edgier, or "higher quality" then watch a top 10 Hollywood movie or an Oscar snubbed foreign film and take your nasty Grinch, Scrooge axxxxx with you and don't slam the door too hard so you don't break everyone else's warm, toasty, cinnamon and vanilla scented gingerbread house either.
Of course I now can't watch the movie without laughing, however, when I remember some of the nasty reviews saying "the old neighbor saying 'this song is my JAM!' and dancing" made them "throw up." I'm rather laughing at the unbelievable misanthropy, rather than agreeing with them.
Also, the decor is honestly the best I've seen for a holiday movie (so far, I have 30 more days until the holiday season is officially over mid-January and 30 more days to discover dozens of new holiday movies!). Every-single-inch of this movie set and every-single-frame had a Christmas decoration or Christmas wardrobe/makeup/colors!!! Reds, and greens, and golds, and plaid prints on scarves and on cocoa mugs, and toy soldiers and toy elves and toy santas/plushy decorations, and lights twinkling and city scenery like being inside a snow globe, and Christmas wreaths, and pretty dresses and handsome suits that matched the themed mise en scene, and festive wrapping papers or holiday wallpapers and streamers and tinsel, and trinkets and gold sparkly, glittery jewelry and adornments literally everywhere. Not one scene or frame failed to enlighten the holiday cheer. I mean just LOOK at the film poster!! It's beautiful! Rich deep red here, rich deep green there, just gorgeous and wintry! And it isn't a Christmas movie without baking or characters decorating cute Christmas cookies, which there also was here. There were happy, jovial harp plucks, romantic soft pianos, and orchestral violin strings throughout too as background music. It was enchanting, delightful, whimsical, beautiful, nostalgic, jolly, uplifting, fun, etc. Which I really appreciate.
I discovered this film a week ago and ever since I've replayed this movie everyday in full maybe three to five times to feel better and ready for Christmas. Other Christmas movies are typical or make me feel excluded--perfect girl, perfect guy, perfect family, perfect house, perfect path to a perfect romance, perfect ending. This movie was quirky, and everyone is kind of normal despite the abnormal fanciful situation.
(Now for the things I don't like: I do agree though, the main actress's fake skin tanner and lipstick in one scene honestly was distracting. But it wasn't THAT bad, just at first sight each of these things required getting used to for a bit.
The stalker stuff was silly but I laughed because the silliness tickles my inner child, which you need during the holidays.
There was one scene where the song was playing while the main actress was playing a loud instrument in the hallway to upset her now stalker neighbor, and they didn't mute the instrument, which they should have. They muted everything else in the same scene... but not the instrument. It wasn't nice on the ears. We can see the instrument, we don't need to hear it while the soundtrack is playing loud and jamboree style too. But the reviews here whining that her tactics such as this instrument were "mean spirited" are still...ridiculous. She's not being MEAN, she's being desperate to turn her stalker off her. I related to it, to be honest. If you don't want someone to like you, then offend them, annoy them, or disgust them.
Also, the main actress's onscreen best friend seemed like she was trying to be funny.
Finally, the next door neighbor was old and elderly and therefore stereotyped as some kind of fairy godmother which was random. I also think they made the neighbor extra old compared to the main actress to make the main actress seem less old herself because without the elderly neighbor, the main actress looks middle aged when I think her character is a normal promoted career woman, which gears towards 30s age.)
Anywho, screw you guys, I've now been singing the theme song "Wish This Christmas" and "Rockin' Holiday" randomly around the house while making cocoa this holiday. "Make a wish this Christmas. Make it loud and wish it true." LOL. "Mom on the left, Dad on the right, it's a rockin' holiday...rockin holiday!" HA!
I give this film a big YAY and a HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!