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Barbie (2023)
Starts out good and fun but loses pace in the second half
Barbie starts off as a vibrant and entertaining journey, packed with humor and charm that immediately captures the imagination. The colorful visuals and clever storytelling engage viewers, setting the stage for a whimsical and fun adventure. Margot Robbie's performance shines, and the playful world-building draws audiences in. However, as the film progresses into the second half, pacing issues become apparent. The momentum slows significantly, causing the narrative to lose some of its initial energy and excitement. This shift can make parts of the movie feel drawn out and less engaging. Despite these challenges, Barbie still offers delightful moments and a unique take on a beloved character, making it a worthwhile watch for fans seeking creativity and nostalgia.
Shazam! (2019)
Fun but too long
Shazam! Is a delightful romp that brings a refreshing blend of humor and heart to the superhero genre. It captures the excitement and wonder of a young boy suddenly gifted with extraordinary powers, and the film's charm lies in its ability to maintain a playful tone throughout. The cast delivers engaging performances, and the visual effects are lively and fun. However, the movie's extended runtime causes certain scenes to drag, disrupting the overall pacing and occasionally testing the audience's patience. Despite this, Shazam! Remains an entertaining adventure that's perfect for those who enjoy a mix of comedy and action.
Poltergeist (1982)
Overrated and underwhelming
I can't understand anyone who says this was a great horror movie or even those who say this was a horror movie at all because it wasn't. I can't help but wonder about those people who say this was a scary movie. They must be the type of people who are afraid of their own shadow.
The movie has 3 main problems. First, it drags on and on and on without much substance. This movie could have benefited from being about 30 minutes shorter. The more the movie drags on the more you feel bored rather than scared.
Second, the acting is pretty weak in this movie. Everyone is just constantly screaming and that's about the extend of acting you'll see in this movie.
Third, it's not scary at all. It's more like a kid's movie actually. If you thought this was scary you probably think Scooby Doo is scary as well.
Masculin féminin (1966)
The more pretentious you are the more you'd like this movie
This movie was made specifically for pretentious people who like to drag about being artsy. You know the kind of people who go to art museums, stare at meaningless paintings and find all kinds of "meanings" in them when there is probably none in reality.
This movie is all style and no substance which could be forgiven if its style as any good but it's not good either so the movie tries to cover lack of substance with bad artistic taste. There is nothing innovative or artistic about constantly zooming a camera into people's faces when they talk. A five year old could do it.
I can't imagine someone who actually likes art to like this movie but the world is full of pretentious people so this movie gives them something to feel smart about.
The Zone of Interest (2023)
Made specifically to win awards
You can tell that this movie was a special project specifically made to win awards and it won many awards as intended. No surprises there.
The movie is extremely slow and uneventful for the most part. You could watch the movie at 2x speed and not miss anything. Half of the movie consists of people walking around without saying anything and a lot of things are implied in the movie without saying anything.
People seem to think that if a movie is slow and boring it must be a great work of art but this is not art. A movie still has to tell its story in an effective and meaningful way and this one totally fails at that. It appears that the producers of this movie desperately wanted to win some awards to pump their CV but they didn't have enough material to fill 2 hours to they just added a bunch of footage of people walking around silently to fill time.
The Lighthouse (2019)
Not that great
I should have known this was going to be some pretentious "arthouse" movie when I started watching and saw it was filmed in black-and-white. Not only was it filmed in modern type of black and white but actual 1930s style darkened black and white where you can barely see what's happening in most indoor scenes. This should have been a red flag that this movie was going to have no substance and focus entirely on style. This is exactly what happens with this movie.
There is no real plot, no storyline, just two drunk guys arguing and fighting for 2 hours while one of them also hallucinates and sees things that aren't there. That's basically it.
The River (1951)
Not enough plot to fill a movie
This movie had the potential to be great if only it had enough of a plot. The entire plot of the movie is 3 girls living in India that have a crash on an American soldier who comes back from battle and flirts with each one of them and leaves afterwards and that's literally all there is to it. The whole plot is about 15 minutes long in total if you exclude filler scenes.
In order to fill time and make it seem more, they filmed a bunch of random videos of locals working in farm, celebrating their holidays, chasing snakes, hanging out around the river but none of these add anything to the story. They don't add authenticity either if the director was going for that.
The movie pretends to have some philosophy but it was so thin that it was barely there at all.
Trick 'r Treat (2007)
Poor man's "Treehouse of Horror"
This movie is basically a blend of Simpsons episodes that are produced for Halloween and filmed with some famous actors like Brian Cox and Anna Paquin. You know, those "Treehouse of Horror" episodes Simpsons airs every year in order to commemorate Halloween.
Except this movie is poorly written and poorly directed. There isn't an overarching story that connects anything together and it feels like we are watching a bunch of random clips of random happenings that are not even loosely connected at all.
None of the horror scenes are scary and none of the humor scenes are funny. I can't think of a single reason to watch this movie actually or even call it a movie. It's more like a high budget Youtube video with famous actors.
Kimitachi wa dô ikiru ka (2023)
What the heck did I just watch?
I just finished this anime and I have zero clue what I watched. I don't even think the producers of this movie know what they produced. Everyone who ever watched this including the very people that produced it found themselves confused and without a clue.
The movie starts ok but progressively gets worse, more confusing and more boring over time. The more you think it can't get any worse, the more it finds new ways of getting worse and more confusing.
None of the story makes any sense from beginning to the end any none of the characters are explained. Throughout the movie a bunch of random characters do a bunch of random things which constantly contradict what they did before but it's supposed to all make sense somehow but it doesn't.
The people who gave this movie an Oscar must not have watched it. They probably just saw the name of Hayao Miyazaki and automatically voted to give him an Oscar without ever seeing this movie. It's impossible for anyone with a brain to think this is worth an Oscar after actually watching it. It's a pile of confusing mess.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
Worst movie of the year
I just finished this movie and to be honest with you, I have no idea what I just watched. It was just random chaos and complete mess. I finished the movie only 10 minutes ago and already forgot what it was about and don't even remember most of it. It was really confusing with all the plot holes and logical errors not to mention the movie not really having a storyline in the first place anyways.
It was just a chaotic hell. One way to describe this movie would be a CGI porn. I don't even know why they chose to use real actors in this movie if they were going to use so much cheap CGI. They might as well have made this an animation and all the nonsense in the storyline would be excused.
Night on Earth (2020)
Missed opportunity
This could have been a great documentary series but it got kind of ruined by a few things. First, as everyone before me called out, the narrative is pretty bad and uneven. I don't know what they were thinking there.
Second, it is very narrowly focused. There is more to animal life and animal kingdom than just hunting. About 90-95% of this documentary focuses on animals hunting each other. They misnamed this documentary by calling it "Night on Earth", instead they should have called it "Animals Hunting Each Other At Night" because that's pretty much all they show.
Animals do more stuff than just try to hunt each other or try not to get hunted all day long. That's not what life on earth is all about but one would think it is after watching this narrowly focused documentary.
The visuals are great though, too bad they got wasted on a production like this.
Becoming Champions (2018)
Poorly made
This is a documentary about the history of World Cup winners and it's about 9 hours long but in the entire docuseries you see maybe 10 minutes of actual world cup footage. The entire "documentary" consists of interviewing a bunch of people while having photos float in the background. Someone talks about a legendary moment that happened but there is no video of that moment.
Throughout the series we see footage of cities and countries but there is no actual footage of the world cup itself.
The documentary is also badly organized. There is no coherent story and it jumps from place to place, skips a lot of important parts and moments for each team, fast forward most stuff without even mentioning in passing.
Also most of the interview material kept getting recycled over and over. By the time I was in 6th episode I felt like I'm watching the whole thing again because it was showing the same interview bits from previous episodes over and over with no actual footage.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Wasted potential
This movie is a wasted potential and it doesn't really work for several reasons.
First, the movie is waaay to long. They needed to cut out at least 1 hour of it.
Second, it's way too convoluted and difficult to follow. Each character has their own motivations and shifting alliances that constantly change and by the end of the movie you'll forget why any character did anything at all.
Third, the atmosphere is too dark and gloomy for this type of movie. At the end of the day this is supposed to be a action-comedy not a horror movie.
Fourth, there was too much emphasis on supernatural. I don't mind some supernatural elements like in the first movie but in this one supernatural pretty much takes over the whole thing which is ridiculous.
Frozen (2013)
Too much cringe
This movie is a prime example of Disney's descent into saccharine mediocrity. It's a predictable, overly-sentimental journey through a world of singing snow queens, talking reindeer, and a love story that's as stale as a year-old snowman.
The plot is a textbook case of "good girl, bad girl," with Elsa's icy powers being portrayed as a curse rather than a unique gift. The "let it go" anthem, while catchy, is a blatant message of self-indulgence and emotional detachment, hardly a healthy message for young viewers.
The animation, while technically impressive, feels sterile and devoid of any real character. The characters themselves are one-dimensional caricatures, lacking any depth or complexity. Even Olaf, the supposed comic relief, is a cloying, over-the-top creation that quickly becomes tiresome.
Frozen's attempt to subvert traditional Disney tropes with a "strong female lead" falls flat. Elsa's journey is ultimately about finding love and acceptance, not about embracing her power and individuality. The film's message of sisterly love, while heartwarming, feels forced and contrived.
In short, Frozen is a sugary-sweet, cliché-ridden spectacle that lacks any real substance or originality. It's a film that will leave you feeling cold, not from the snow, but from the sheer predictability and lack of depth.
Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill (1998)
8.6 are you kidding me?
The biggest and funniest joke about this show is its extremely inflated IMDB rating. This is basically a race to show who is the most pretentious. People think giving this 10/10 will make them appear "smart" and "in the know" so most of those 10/10 ratings only show how pretentious people are.
The show is 2 hours long and full of jokes but only a few of the jokes are anywhere near funny. Most of the jokes were rip offs from Monty Python materials and most of them didn't age well either.
Throughout the show you hear audience laughing really loudly even the 10 minute part at the end where Eddie speaks in French and not a single person in the audience understands what they are saying but still laugh as loud as they can because how else will people show their pretentiousness? Some people live in this world to pretend and this is why this show has such a high rating when most of its jokes fall flat.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Incredibly bad boring and pointless
I've watched more than a thousand movies and I can safely say that I've seen so few movies as bad as this one. There are so many problems with this movie I don't even know where to start.
First, it is way way too long. By midpoint of the movie I thought it was close to finishing and I started to check my watch every 5 minutes after that. I just kept going on and on and on and wouldn't finish. It felt like a torture as it kept dragging on and on and on.
Second, the movie has no plot and no storyline. It's just 2 hours of mindless action that goes nowhere. There are some "themes" but no plot or storyline. If I told you to tell me the summary of the plot you couldn't because there isn't one.
Third, it is insanely repetitive. The same dialogue repeats over and over and over 100 times throughout the movie. We get it, we really do. There are like 10-12 pieces of dialogue in the entire movie and everything else is just slight iterations of the same dialogue performed again and again.
This movie shouldn't even have been filmed let alone given so many awards. It's complete garbage.
The Cold Blue (2018)
More emotional than informational
This is a documentary that focuses more on emotional side of the war than actually giving you information. As a matter of fact, the documentary contains almost no new information that most people didn't already know.
It doesn't talk about the war itself or any of the specific missions that were done within the war but mostly about how scary it was for the people involved, how they felt, how their feelings evolved over time and so on.
I found it a bit repetitive at times. How many different ways can you say "air force personnel were scared for their lives". This documentary tries to say it 20-30 different ways if not more. Every episode eventually comes down to the fact that it was scary. We get it, flying air missions during WW2 was scary, we really heard it the first 100 times. The documentary would be better off if it actually provided something beyond repeating the same point 100 times.
It looks like they had some colored videos from WW2 and they wanted to create a documentary out of those videos but they didn't really think it through and they didn't really have a plan about what they wanted to make this documentary about.
The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years (2016)
Decent but too much filler material
This documentary is a nice attempt but certain parts drag on and on and on with so much filler material. The documentary spends about an hour showing Beatles going from city to city, doing concert after concert where girls are fainting, screaming, everyone losing their minds, time after time, over and over.
Ok we get it, young girls were crazy about the band and people fainted and screamed at every concert, sure, but why is this the main focus of the documentary instead of the music of the band? You don't need to tell us how big Beatles was, everyone who wasn't living under a rock already knows.
Show us musical brilliance of the band, not 100 different clips of girls fainting and screaming in 100 different cities for an hour.
La notte (1961)
What's the point of this video?
What's even the point of this video other than proving that Einstein was correct when he said human stupidity has no limits? I am not even going to glorify this thing by calling it a "movie" because it isn't even a movie. Movies have plots, this thing doesn't. If it was made today it would be just a YouTube video and no one would call it a movie except for those idiots who call everything a masterpiece because their art professor told them so.
The video starts with a married couple visiting a friend at the hospital. Then we spend the next 20-30 minutes watching a woman walk down the street. Then comes the next 20-30 minutes when she's out at a nightclub with her husband. Then the next hour is them attending a party and chitchatting with random people. That's it.
This is what morons call a masterpiece these days basically.
The Deer Hunter (1978)
What is it with people glorifying boring movies?
Do people seriously think they appear smart and intelligent when they call boring and pointless movies like this a masterpiece? They only appear like clueless sheeple who only glorify movies because critics who get paid to praise movies love them.
This movie fails in not one but multiple places but sheeple won't notice that because they are too busy worshipping movies that they are told to worship by their masters.
First, there is no overarching plot in the movie. The whole movie is just a bunch of clips randomly tied together but don't really tell a story. First we watch a Russian wedding for an hour wondering how it will be connected to the rest of the story but we quickly find out that it has no connection and it was just put there was a time-filler.
Then we see a hunting scene which is another random clip which has nothing to do with anything. Then another long boring prisoner scene which adds nothing to the main plot. At this point there isn't even a plot anymore, just a bunch of random clips that are at best loosely connected and don't tell a story.
Then the movie just becomes even more weird as time goes on, moves further and further away from having a plot. It just moves all over the place, jumps all over the place, goes on for 3 hours without being able to tell a story or make a point, not to mention none of the characters are even remotely relatable.
The whole movie is a waste of time, so is reading all those 10/10 reviews by clueless sheeple who think they will appear smart by glorifying boring movies like this.
Bãhubali 2: The Conclusion (2017)
Nice comedy
This is one of the best comedy movies I've ever watched. I can't remember laughing this hard before in any movie. This is a truly masterpiece level comedy. They don't make great comedy movies like this anymore. This could be one of the funniest movies ever made.
I just kept laughing, laughing and laughing. The visual effects were so bad that they must have been put together by interns using Windows 98. The acting is so horrible that I felt like I watched a high school theater play. The story had more holes than Swiss cheese.
Then again if you watch this as a comedy you'll enjoy it because it's one of the funniest movies ever made. Just don't make the mistake of thinking this is a serious movie because it isn't.
Bãhubali: The Beginning (2015)
Bollywood 9, Hollywood 5
If I had to rate this movie based on Bollywood standards I would have rated it 9 but if I had to rate it based on Hollywood standards, it drops to a solid 5.
CGI looks so cheap and looks more like a video game than a movie. It must have been produced by interns on low budget or something.
Acting is way over the top and weird.
Storyline is confusing at times because of sloppy delivery.
Music is fine, costumes are good, part of the dialogue is not bad and part of the plot is not bad but overall the movie fails to deliver and it is far from a masterpiece because it has a lot of holes and lacks a lot of quality that makes a movie a masterpiece.
Still it's a fun watch if you are into Bollywood.
Akira (1988)
Pure garbage
I don't give movies 1/10 easily. Out of hundreds of movies I've watched and rated on IMDB, I've given 1 to less than 10 movies and I can't help but this this movie a 1 rating. It's really really bad. All those people giving this 10/10 are completely out of their mind.
The plot is incredibly dumb. In fact there isn't even a plot in this anime. You just watch things randomly blow up and explode for 2 hours. One thing after another explodes, people screaming, wondering what's going on and no explanation is given in the whole movie. There is no plotline, no storyline, no explanation, no logic, no common sense. Just a bunch of random things happen without any reasoning.
As the story progresses you keep thinking "this is the bottom, the story can't get any more stupid" but it does. Throughout the 2 hours the story progressively keeps getting more and more stupid and finishes at peak stupidity.
I guess whoever produced this anime really wanted to make animations of some explosions and they couldn't bother to come up with a plot so they just decided to throw in 2 hours of dumb animations of things randomly blowing up. There is no message, no character development, no deep meanings, nothing. Just 2 hours of explosions and random action.
Kaze no tani no Naushika (1984)
Insanely overrated
This is another extremely overrated movie by an extremely overrated producer Hayao Miyazaki whose every movie is exactly the same and whose every single movie fails for the same reason. You gotta admire the guy for trying though, he keeps failing and failing but he keeps trying year after year. Maybe some day he will get the hint that all his movies are overrated garbage.
Just like every movie ever made by Miyazaki this movie has cute visuals, nice graphics but NOTHING else. It fails to deliver a coherent story, it fails to develop its characters, it fails to have a decent plot. So many things are happening all at once without any coherence or any connection and nothing gets tied together at the end. You finish the movie with as many questions as you've started because nothing gets answered. The anime throws so much mindless action at you without any explanation as to what's even happening and without even the slightest hint of how it even ties together. This movie feels like watching a 2-hour music video with no plot.
A lot of people call it "masterpiece" for nostalgic reasons alone. Just because you watched something as a kid and loved it doesn't make it a masterpiece.
Jurassic Park (1993)
Another glorified disaster movie
This is another glorified disaster movie full of cliches that receives ridiculous amount love and being called a "masterpiece" by clueless idiots only because people watched it as a kid, they feel nostalgic about it and they miss those days. I remember also watching this movie as a kid and loving it but when I watched it again after growing up, I didn't enjoy it half as much. People her just cheapen the meaning of the word masterpiece by calling literally every single movie a masterpiece.
The first half of the movie where they set up the storyline and discuss scientific and ethical implications of creating a dinosaur park is great but the second part of the movie is so bad, it feels like a cliche-filled disaster movie. For about an hour we watch a couple dinosaurs chase a few humans through jungle, then through the campus and then inside the buildings. Chase scene after chase scene where our humans always barely get away at the last second which becomes tiresome and boring after a while to a point where you want them to actually get eaten for a change.
If this movie was made today it would have received a 6-7 rating but it gets an extra 2+ points only and only because people feel nostalgic about their childhood. This movie is NOT a masterpiece. Then again according to IMDB comments, every movie ever made is a masterpiece.