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Firenze e gli Uffizi 3D/4K (2015)
High resolution art thru cheap 3d glasses, absurd.
My wife bought tickets to this documentary as a surprise, a surprise indeed. On Friday night we went to the movie theater and found out that it was a 3D documentary. I asked myself, how is it possible to watch art through cheap 3D glasses? I answered the question... well, the David is a statue and 3D will certainly enhance its beauty. Same with the architecture, beautiful 3D cinematography used wisely should be worth watching. So my initial thoughts turned true. The pine forest valley and the cathedral aerial views were magnificent, the river and the bridges, superb! So... whats wrong with this art movie intended for sophisticated audience?
25 years ago someone came up with the idea of colorization. A b/w film was processed by a computer adding color to flesh and a blue or red hue to men's/women's clothing. This was sacrilege! but it gave the studios some extra million sales of old films. Uffizi Gallery 3D/4k commits a worse sin, 3dirization! Church vitrals turned 3D! Botticelli 3D nymphs! Oops, big mistake. The documentary instead of improving the audience contemplation ability turns out to be a Spiderman movie.
After giving it some extra thought the problem with 3dirization is not that it was done, the problem is that the audience comes out thinking that the works of art are actually 3D. Yes, the renaissance evolves art an brings depth to the flat medieval art but that's it. I think that the director first should show the masterpiece in its original splendor and then use the 3dirization technique using a morphing transition between the original and the 3D version, then use the 3D version to educate the audience, thats why we are here for.
The Martian (2015)
I left a door open for Ridley... and he used it right.
All right, I'm not a famous movie critic and I am not the one who offers projects to Ridley Scott but this time he made a wise decision and chose to direct The Martian. I had fun writing my previous review.. I was mean & nasty with Ridley. Then I couldn't imagine why he made such a bad movie as Prometheus. It was junk, if you like junk, make yourself comfortable and watch it. I really wanted to cry just 20 minutes into the movie and he deserved all my wrath. When I finished my Prometheus review I left a door open for him...I knew somewhere in his cortex... his talent was there. He just had to try a little bit harder to regain his mojo. And he did! The Martian is fun to watch, has everything a movie needs (well, no sex in Mars) and the story makes sense. This is where I disagree with other reviewers, some say he could have done it better. The problem with space movies is that you have to choose between two options. Are you looking for a science compliant movie like 2001 or space fun like Star Wars. Yes, some scenes cause me to get drowsy a bit and needed a dose of extra excitement but this could just hurt; I guess Ridley wanted to keep the story believable. You did it right Ridley, see you at the Oscars. (Hey.. Academy, I'm a critic, send me an invitation).
Cowspiracy: The Sustainability Secret (2014)
Right vs wrong.
What is right? A tough question! My family owns a grass hacienda in one of the rainiest part of Colombia. Like bamboo...you can watch grass grow. Is it wrong to grow cattle for food there? Absolutely not. One acre can grass feed up to 5 cows. On the other hand grain is grown in semidesertic areas in the USA at an exorbitant environmental cost. Aquifers are being depleted, water polluted with pesticides and grain is shipped by truck to cattle ranches. The cows don't gather their food, food is delivered to their mouth. Thousands of barrels of oil are wasted in the process. From this point of view the film is absolutely right. Some other issues are just an excuse to fill up movie time. Cow manure for example is not a problem in haciendas, everyone knows it is a great fertilizer that helps restore nitrogen and nutrients to the soil... but when manure is produced far from crops then it becomes a waste. The film never goes into how to fix what is being done wrong, its only purpose is to turn us all into vegans. I disapprove this extremist tactic. The one thing that it is absolutely true, and sad, is that 99% of the organizations funded by folks like you and me, is that they exist just to collect money! From TV evangelists, to save the children, Greenpeace and the rest, money is their principal concern. Money makes the world go around! Watch the movie... you will see the world somewhat different after wards.
Chef (2014)
Movie for a perfect peaceful Saturday evening
This is a movie in need of some instructions before watching it. First, you gotta be hungry so watch it after leaving work of during the weekend 6 hours after brunch. Second, don't be angry if Robert Downy Jr doesn't fly in his armored suit. Downy, Hoffman, Scarlett and even Sofía are just decorations... but wisely used. Their roles aren't superfluous, they add a special mood in which the movie evolves and you notice that folks around you enjoy their presence. Third... you better be near a supermarket cause 8 out of 10 viewers will head home thinking if they have the ingredients needed to prepare the melted cheese sandwich at home. Ahh, if you missed it and its on Netflix, call your friends and have everything on hand like a good Cabernet, your favorite cheese, olives and enjoy. And Fourth... if you are having trouble communicating with your teenage son, watch it together, it might open a line, try it!
San Andreas Quake (2015)
Yes, your honor, I'm guilty, send me to isolation for 10 years.
Yes, justice is served. That's what happens when you have a friend who has all the movies in his pc cause he has a 3 tera drive. So I spend a night in his apartment and he told me: "if you are bored just look for a movie in my pc". You guessed it, I chose San Andreas, Quake. So.. what is the punishment for a guy who watches downloaded movies? You guessed it again! Make him watch San Andreas Quake! I'm guilty, your honor but please for the rest of my filthy years please don't ever let me watch something as mediocre again. I promise I will stay away from torrents forever. Yes, your honor, I will be happy to be in community service forever if you bring these people to trial. It ain't possible to find worse actors, worse special effects, worse dialog, worst scenes and worse editing elsewhere. Their names should be vanished from history and every single evidence that this movie was ever shot should be incinerated and the ashes sent to... starting with my review. Addendum: At last there's a movie replacig Ed Wood's Plan 9 from outer space, voted worse movie of all times.
Absolute Deception (2013)
A perfect movie title.
Yes, If Cuba is hired by Australians it is because they have a really good plot that requires a heavy weight actor. Wow, what an Absolute Decepción (well, deception in English reads like Spanish decepción which means disappointment).
It seems Cuba said... "Ok guys, I'm for the money and I wanna spend some days partying in the Gold Coast". An that's what he did! Even seconds after a terrible murder scene he is smiling along with amateur Emanuelle V. having a great time.
If there is a reason why Cuba's name is today (april 2015) on the "Where are these actors now?" list is for being part in such mediocre movie like this one.
Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)
Iñarritu, the new joker.
It is not easy to qualify a movie when there are splendid flicks in movie archives. This movie when compared to other iconic movies barely deserves 4 stars but when ranked against all 21st century Hollywood cr_p it surely comes out as one of the best. It is not a pleasant movie and I guess I'll never watch it again, but it was worth watching and I don't regret the time spent. It feels good when the director plays with my mind, that's where I get my adrenalin rush. Of course this is not a movie for everyone, there are plenty folks with undeveloped brains around... starting with mine which is still half cooked. I watched it after the Oscars and after Penn's apparently insensitive remark. Now I get it... and makes me smile. Iñarritu with Birdman is laughing about the industry he is in and his work certainly hurts gringo hearts, specially if the comedian is Mexican. Oh I forgot, no one has mentioned the relation between Keaton and Batman. I guess that's why Iñarritu chose Keaton...the 80's masked hero. Am I wrong?
American Sniper (2014)
Well, I fell in the media's trap. Good movie but not a great movie.
I walked into the movie theater with absolutely no idea that this one was about a real war hero so I watched it expecting an elaborate Hollywood plot. But no... it was just the story of a guy who's job was to kill people while protecting others. So real life stories are not that exciting and that's how scene after scene were played with little adrenalin in between. So he went and without giving much thought decided to be a Seal. No big deal. And training... easy! Just a cold mud pool by the beach (where's Louis Gossett Jr or Lee's Emery Gunnery Srgt?). And the cools dudes flew to Irak where they confronted terror... yes terror represented by a mom with her 14 year old son carrying a hand grenade. Isn't this dumb? Sad but laughable. And the story goes on with the neglected wife clitché. Yawning already. And more clitches coming up. Who will he confront? You guessed it right, Mustafa, the Arab sniper. Anyone would expect this will be the movie climax but it just happens in another bland scene. Of course he is gonna win this confrontation, if not no one would pay the ticket price. Oh.. and he barely made it to the truck in the sand storm... lucky guy! (one tiny little bit of adrenalin here). Now you know the movie is about to end and he returns home with brain damage (oh... this is new!). Next is the ToysrUs baby moment... come on Clint, this is ridiculous. And .... I'll stop here...too many spoilers. I'm ending with a simple sentence, This ain't an Oscar movie.
Interstellar (2014)
If Ridley's Scott Prometheus has a 7 star IMDb rating Interstellar should have 30 stars, or Prometheus 2 and Interstellar 9.
Before writing these words I searched for the negative reviews here at IMDb to see if I'm just too over excited after watching tonite the film. Well, I found a lot of purists looking for perfection giving negative reviews, well thanks god we are not equal. For me Interstellar is close to perfection. We had to wait for it 46 years since Kubrick's 2001 (Star Wars is a different story).
My second thought was that I still cannot decipher why a horrible movie like Ridley's Scott Prometheus has a 7 star rating and Insterstellar ranks just 2 stars higher. No way! There is a major flaw with IMDb star rating, it seems folks will still give stars to garbage but are reluctant to give a perfect score to a movie that is so well thought, filmed and acted.
Going back to Kubrick's 2001 I agree with my fellow reviewers, 2001 is a work of art, a painting to hang on the wall. Interstellar is fantastic sci-fi movie, with a few glitches that fade fast and do little harm to the story. Purists may claim it is not as scientifically correct as 2001 and sometime the time line is twisted a bit but certainly I recommend this one... enjoy!
La migliore offerta (2013)
Finally a movie worth watching
Yes, we've been living in a desert for quite some time. Being a movie enthusiast I don't know why I missed it when shown at our local Cinemark. I just saw it by accident when my brother lent me his DVD. So the feeling came back, yes, that feeling you perceive when sights, emotions and sounds are right. With the somewhat Kubrish scenes that revive your senses it was a delight watching Geoffrey Rush in this magnificent role. For those of you in need of an extra adrenalin surge director Tornatore revived the unforgettable Sharon Stone moment. Well, movies need a little of everything and and Tornatore pleases his audience. While you are trying to figure out what's going to happen next, the end comes leaving you somewhat disappointed, mainly because if you are male, you embrace Mr Rush's character and "you wish you were there". Must see!
Pompeii (2014)
Hollywood keeps doing its tricks to lure your money.
Again Hollywood execs decided to redo some scenes of Troy, Gladiator and Titanic. First step was to find an Orlando Bloom lookalike, second find a script written by some high school kids and finally... use an Apple II for special effects. There you have it, a disastrous disaster movie.
Certainly a movie using Pompeii as location should use in its scenes places that former visitors can relate to, not just the colliseum. I kept waiting for the flour mill & bakery, the frescoes and the bath houses. If the script writer had taken the time to visit Pompeii before writing this movie his work would be a lot better... oh, I forgot, the kids were at school an the script was just a weekend homework.
A horse joined Milo and Cassia, then Cassia's horse rejoined them again, hey!, it's a love story, what happened to Cassia's horse. Milo should have it on hand to save her in the final scenes, celluloid is an expensive thing to waste when your'e filming clitches.
So folks, don't waste your time, if you pay to watch this movie you are sending a wrong signal to Hollywood.