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Mike Tyson Mysteries (2014)
Beautiful gem on Mike Tyson and Norm MacDonald's resume
Everyone knows Norm MacDonald was comedy genius, and he really let's himself loose in this cartoon. It feels like 3/4 of his lines are just adlibbed... the pigeon literally IS Norm MacDonald. But Mike Tyson.... wow. I don't know how much of his lines he wrote, but if he indeed wrote his stuff then he should be bowed down to. The stuff he says plays on his own real life wit and all sorts of mistakes he has made in his own real life, such as making fun of his misunderstanding of things and the way he blows money on cheap stuff. I absolutely love this cartoon and the absurd dry humor and absolutely random weirdness. I've binged watch every episode twice.
Big Mouth (2017)
There is something glaringly messed up about this..
I never watched Big Mouth when it first appeared on Netflix. So it was already 5 seasons deep before I watched it. And I first watched the spin-off Human Resources (absolutely horrible name). I found Human Resources to be an interesting concept... obviously the spin-off is raunchy, adult-themed, and pushes the boundaries by focusing on the topic of sex with children, BUT at least each episode covers actual aspects of emotion. But this Big Mouth garbage... it is borderline offensive. How did this trash pass over critics' heads and actually get nominated for an Emmy?? This is a cartoon involving actual CHILDREN in which the children are having SEX. How is this acceptable? Only in a disgusting perverted Hollywood would this sort of pedophilic filth be acceptable. One episode is devoted to a child under the age of 18 having actual sex with a pillow and getting it pregnant. How is this not considered to be child porn? What, just because it is a cartoon for adults? I don't get how this is okay.
Strange Darling (2023)
Ambitious, but hampered by bad acting
The main male actor does an amazing job. He really sells it. But the main female actor constantly overacts in every scene. At first I thought it was intentional in the spirit of the 80's... I guess that might explain why every actor other than the main male actor does a horrible job. But I don't believe it's intentional. The movie throws some entertaining curveballs, so I feel it is a good flick overall. But the back and forward in time gimmick loses its value about halfway in. Though it helps to give the movie replay value. Once the cops come into the picture the viewer has to suspend a ridiculous amount of disbelief in order to buy what is being sold. Only in the movies of the 2020's does a young inexperienced petite female police officer get away with dominating an old experienced tough-guy cop. At least the movie doesn't mind putting blame on the proper individuals, otherwise it would be like every other unbelievable movie these days.
The Good Son (1993)
Movie hasn't aged well...
When I was a kid I thought this movie was great. Kids running around doing whatever they want, Culkin as a bad guy... Culkin even uses the F-word! But I rewatched it the other day and.... boo! This movie is for kids, because it doesn't make any sense for an adult. First of all, Culkin is not a good actor. He speaks his lines like he is reading from a note card. It's horrible. And in this movie it's even worse than Home Alone or My Girl. Elijah is the real star here... his acting is great. Second, what is up with these parents!? They already lost one kid, why are they allowing the kids to run around town doing whatever they want? There is a huge cliff beside the house and the wife just walks away from the kids playing on it. "Where's your daughter?" "Oh, she is out skating on the ice somewhere"... makes no sense. Third.... ridiculous plot holes and str8 up crap writing and acting. Need something bad to happen at night? Just have the parents leave the kids at home alone. But the worst thing.... How does a little girl fall through the ice, yet two grown adults with axes can stand on the same spot and hit the ice for 15 seconds straight and not fall through... how? Smh, this movie is not great.
The Watchers (2024)
I guess this is the end
This is the first time I have said "this movie sucks" of an M Night Shyamalan movie. Dakota's acting is abysmal. The CGI is atrocious. The story..... ugh, so many freaking plot holes. Shyamalan has just given up on connecting the dots within a story. Now if you ask a question he just answers it with blatant exposition. And if he can't answer his own movie's problems then he just shrugs it off and moves along. I mean, seriously what is this mess? I'm surprised this is based off of a real book. Being it was written by Stine I sincerely hope that the original story made sense. Because this does not. And if Stine's story does make sense, then it's time for Shyamalan to simply stop. Even if it doesn't make sense it's time for him to stop. This movie SUCKS. It's over for this guy who was a 3-4 off'er.
The Silent Intruder (2024)
Bargain store entertainment
This movie feels like it should be in a bargain bin at a discount dollar store, meaning it is worth less than a dollar. This is some seriously low-level entertainment with the most boring melodrama a person could possibly write. The cast is basically just reading their lines... there isn't any actual acting. I think the director intended for this movie to be suspenseful, but there is nothing suspenseful about this drivel. And there is actually supposed to be a second part to this, as if anyone is going to care about Zaki's character enough to want to see why he became the psychopath the script wanted him to be (remember: the acting is atrocious, so he never really feels like a true psychopath). This story of love and romance and a crazy attractive young neighbor who falls in love with a semi-attractive older lady has been told and retold a thousand times by Hollywood (remember those dime a dozen grocery store lust novellas?), so I think whoever financed this thought that they could just reskin the story and a streaming service would pick it up to appeal to a certain demographic audience. If this actually gets streamed then WOW, but if a second film gets made and streamed too then I know what line of work I need to take up.
Masters of the Universe: Revolution (2024)
worst of all the He-Man cartoons
How does this mess have such a high rating? I have never seen so many plot devices in a tv show. How did the power sword go from being the source of power in the original series, to being nothing more than a prop in Revelation, to becoming the source of power again in Revolution? Need a source of more power for Teela? Make the dragon squeeze his hand into the air. Need Keldor to not be an obvious Skeletor? Have him fight Motherboard disguised as Skeletor and not worry about He-Man maybe killing Motherboard then have Keldor turn into Skeletor. Seriously, this is absolute garbage.
Some might say the previous Kevin Smith He-Man cartoon was worse because of the virtue signaling and overly diversified characters, but at least the story made sense. This series is just a complete jumbled mess. I know the series is called Masters of the Universe, so its not just about He-Man, but his absence of being a MASTER is just too much. Teela should not be more prominent. And Keldor should not be more prominent than Skeletor. Why did this series jump into the Matrix?? The constant glitchy computer effects in the cartoon itself is very annoying. This isn't a story we needed. The dialog is weak, the voice acting is atrocious (especially Cringer and BattleCat, and Transformers Skeletor), and EvilLynn and Teela were NEVER more powerful than Skeletor and He-Man. EvilLynn was smarter than Skeletor but not more powerful than him. Kevin Smith just loves to ruin stuff for fun huh?
The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024)
Sattirical sociopolitical commentary.. or refuse? You decide!
The American Society of Magical Negroes is one of those movies that would have been released straight to DVD and instantly delegated to the "2 for $5 DVD" bin about 10 years ago, IF anyone would have actually had the gall to make this movie at that time. The American Society of Magical Negroes attempts to be a satire of the Magical Negro trope itself, except it goes overkill by creating a world in which actual magical Negroes exist and help save White people from themselves for the betterment of Black people, essentially justifying the existence of the Magical Negro trope within the movie's own universe.
To be honest, it is not funny to suspend your disbelief and think that a world exists where actual real magical Negroes save White people from causing harm to non-magical Negroes... there is no way to tell this story in a humorous way. Someone actually thinks this is a comedy? I feel bad for David Allen Grier having this thing on his resume, not to mention it was pulled from theaters after 3 weeks. Using the Magical Negro trope to attempt to tell a rom-com story about two biracial individuals... it ends up being an excessive amount of pandering to an un-engaged audience.
Like most people who watch a movie that is absolutely unbelievable, I have questions that easily poke holes into the plot. What are the technical requirements to become a magical Negro? The main character is biracial, so his invitation to become a magical Negro means that the American Society of Magical Negroes accepts mixed people. I hoped to see a white Negro (i.e. Albino) in the organization so that the American Society of Magical Negroes would be inclusive with a big checkmark for diversity, but unfortunately the members of the American Society of Magical Negroes seemed to only be classified by their skin color. This led to other questions about the entire premise of the movie... if the Magical Negroes help White people, what about white Negroes? Do they not get helped? Watching this movie left me confused about my own reality... its that bad!
Will there be a "The American Society of Magical Negroes Part 2" in the near future? Or a reboot with an origin story for the magical Negroes in 10-20 years? I definitely think not. NEXT!
Divinity (2023)
Too artsy fartsy
Starts out okay while you wonder what is going on.... but once you piece the story together you can't stop looking at the horrible practical effects. By the time you are ready to see the story move to the next level, you are all of a sudden watching a claymation celebrity death match with horrible stop-motion... the only way to truly understand the crap ending this movie has, is to sit through it yourself. We are left with a horrible mess of a film that leans too heavily on 50 year old film tropes to help trod along this story's narrative. The filmmaker got lost somewhere along with way with this movie, as the very ending makes no real sense. Though I'm sure there are people who will come up with their own explanation and say "see, this us what he meant". But no no, he was actually just confused.
The Floor (2024)
Flawed game design that might have been rigged...
The season begins decent with random people being called upon and the players having the ability to continue playing or go back to the floor. But once you get a few shows in you will realize that the entire game is flawed by design. Here are the reasons why:
The Randomizer: it picks random people, but never chooses a person twice. This gives the players along the edges and in the corners the biggest advantage because the chances of them being chosen to play are minimized. You will realize this by the time you get to the last episode as one of the contestants in the corner is chosen to go into the final round, yet she only played ONE TIME before. And there are many players that made it to the end of the season having never played a single game, yet people who played and won some 10+ games are eliminated.
Gameplay (answer correctly or pass): If a person answers the question correctly then it is the other player's turn. But if they can't answer they will pass, lose 3 seconds, and have to answer before it is their opponent's turn. Because of this, most of the winners win because their opponents couldn't answer the questions and passed too much. So it is not a game by which the player who answers the most questions or knows the most trivia will win, but a game by which the person who passes the most loses. And the person who is never called upon by the Randomizer has the biggest advantage.
The clues: Who picks the order for clues? Because it is not random. The first few clues are always the most obvious, but the clues do not become progressively harder. Randomly at times a player will receive a very hard clue, pass, receive another very hard clue, answer it, then their opponent receives an easy clue... which leads me to --
Rigging: it seems rigged. When you watch a player pass 4 times on very hard clues, only for their opponent to receive easy clues every time, it is hard to believe that the questions are completely random. Not to mention, the players were not sequestered from each other or from the internet, so they were able to fraternize and study their topic each evening. This gave the players in the latter of the season more of an advantage, and even set the stage for the possibility that some players worked together to give a specific player more of a winning chance than others. If you watch the whole season you will be left wondering why a person holding a very large portion of the floor purposely chose a topic that they knew absolutely nothing about, against an opponent that very clearly knew something about the topic, and then passed over and over until they lost, giving their opponent the win with almost zero effort
Each episode the person with the most pieces of the floor wins $20k, and the person who wins at the end takes home an additional $250k. But the last two episodes were strung together as a "season finale" instead of being two individual episodes. This seriously makes me feel like they lost so many viewers towards the end they were not able to afford to give $20k to the winner of the 2nd to the last show.
Don't read this any further if you intend on watching the entire season --- Throughout the season there are multiple players that work very hard to progress... they don't pass, they play and win huge chunks of the floor. Then they lose to a person who played just one single game. This happens a lot towards the end of the season, with the final winner being a contestant that was situated in the corner and only played one time prior. This is so flawed... she didn't deserve to win, and in all honesty it looks like she was given the win, as her opponent just stopped answering questions and passed on everything after choosing a category that he knew nothing about.
The thing I complained about the most while watching the show was the narcissistic attitudes of majority of the women on the floor. They walked and talked with ridiculous levels of arrogance. One woman dressed and acted like she was a teenager. While a grandmother even said "am I hot?" right before the game began, thinking that she would distract her opponent. All of that arrogance was a huge distraction from the gameplay.
We watched all of the season, but decided we would not watch a 2nd season if it is made. Though I highly doubt it will be made because it seems like the producers ran out of money before the 1st season concluded.
Fremont (2023)
Found the DVD washed up on the shore... who threw it away?
I went into the movie theater with an open mind. And I forced myself to sit through all of it, even though I was the only person there. I feel like I should have waited until after the 1st to watch this because then I could have said that my New Year's Resolution would be to sit through all of this thing, and I would have felt that I accomplished something at the end of the movie.
If you didn't know already, this movie is about race more than culture. It is presented as a cultural story about an Afghan immigrant vs. The US, but the director has already deconstructed the history into a story about a non-white character vs. White America. I truly don't understand why someone would choose to tell this story with so much attempted humor... if you really think about it, there is nothing humorous about the experiences of the main character. There is especially no humor that should be presented in a dry manner. I would personally feel disrespected if this is how my story was told, but that's just me. These types of stories have been done before by other directors of old in a much more successful manner, even with humor involved. One good thing is that this movie does not come off as abrasive as similar stories (i.e. The Angry Black Girl And Her Monster), but it is nevertheless the same hyperbolic story being retold in an analogous manner.
The bottom line is that the movie is as boring as watching paint dry or water boil. It is black and white cinematography (quite subtle eh?) with 20-30 year old humor that is poorly executed with consistently cheap, tropey, far from subtle racism that sells the idea that every white American that a non-white non-American has a conversation with will result in the white American viewing the non-white non-American as a novelty while living a totally ignorant existence as a person who fails to realize how their words affect any other person -- imagine if a racist Leslie Nielsen was in a totally boring version of Naked Gun in which the cops targeted racial minority criminals simply because of their skin color... would that even be funny?
This movie falls into a growing untitled category of movies that attempts to paint a certain class of people as living meager lives while walking around and staring into space, yet somehow manage to absorb knowledge from the thin air around them and manage to know more than the people that they reach out to for help - such as in this movie when the woman knows more than the doctor that they visited for help, completely negating any reason for the woman to visit the doctor in the first place! The only reason for the scene is to show that white American doctors do not have the best interest in mind for non-white non-American immigrants, AND do not have the intelligence required to be a doctor, AND happen to also be completely racist! If you want to see what I mean, you honestly don't have to view the movie... you can simply watch the trailer, when the doctor considers the dog from White Fang to be an immigrant -- totally believable that a man with 8+ years in medicine school who the main character pays to analyze them in a therapy session is ironically too dumb to know what an immigrant is. I'm sure this scene is funny at some point in history at some place on the planet, but nobody in the theater laughed.
Btw, I was the only person in the theater.
I really think that in 50 years people will look back at this movie and others like it with disgust that Hollywood created this garbage. The main character in this movie has been created from cultural misappropriation, but presented in a manner that attempts to convince the viewer that the story is being told in a genuine manner. But if you look beneath the black and white of the movie, you will discover thin veins of bland British comedy. I look forward to the day that this story about a poor Afghan girl with PTSD will be told in a genuine way that doesn't involve cultural misappropriation.
If you are the type of person that likes to slowly wade through mud from one side of a creek to another to find something interesting, then you should go for it...if you find this film on the bank, just realize that its probably there for a reason.
Hannah Gadsby: Something Special (2023)
Comedy? lol
If this was described as "a person walking around on stage talking about boring mundane day-to-day things that are not funny" then I would laugh and be like "are you serious? I gotta watch this". But it was described as a "comedy special", so I watched this thinking that someone was going to tell jokes and I was going to laugh.
Not only did I not laugh, but the audience didn't laugh either. There is one joke about the color blue.... wow, it was like watching that one lady back in 2016 who said "wiped the hard drive? Like, with a cloth?", which is essentially when the word "cringe" was invented in pop culture. The entire audience of this special looked at each other with a weird look on their faces thinking "Is this funny? Am I supposed to laugh?"
I hope that analogy gives you an idea of what you can expect to feel when you watch this thing. It is beyond dry. And I don't mean dry like the Office, but dry like static cling in your laundry. You are going to get electrocuted when you stand up from your couch to turn off the tv.
How did this person manage to secure a Netflix special? I just don't get it. I highly doubt you will either.
The Boy Next Door (2015)
A rating of 4.7 is a bit harsh...
Yeah sure, the movie is not the best movie on the planet. But it is definitely not a 4.7. The acting is decent, the plot is totally believable (look at how many female high school teachers are in the news for doing illegal acts with their students that are much younger than this guy), and there are some decent "thrilling" scenes. I don't know what the guff is about, other than the fact that Jennifer Lopez's character shouldn't be sympathized with because she is the adult that flirted with a kid (yes, a 19 year old person is still a kid mentally and emotionally) and then had that kid come over to her house and spend the night while doing totally inappropriate things. Of course I don't sympathize with Ryan Guzman's character either because he is psycho, but I don't feel any sympathy for Jennifer Lopez. From what we learn in the movie there isn't anything wrong with the husband, so Jennifer Lopez separated from him, clearly emotionally harming her son during a very important time of his life (graduating high school), all for what...?
If anything this movie predicted the future, at these types of relationships now seem to be the norm in our society. So if we were to rate this movie on realism it should have a 9 or 10!
The Five Heartbeats (1991)
Great movie, but...
It really should have been made solely as a drama instead of incorporating comedic elements, as the comedic elements force you to suspend your disbelief of the drama itself. This is especially true when it comes to the music montages... they should not have any comedy incorporated as the film then looks like a parody of itself, which causes you to anticipate a punchline during the intensely dramatic parts, such as when the racist cops pull over the group in the South, when the guy is being held over the balcony like Vanilla Ice, when the guy gets run over by a dump truck, and when the guy becomes addicted to crack... he's not Chris Rock on In Living Color, he's a representation of real-life Motown singers that fell apart and lost it all. Even the first opening scene where the guy has to escape a card game... the film cuts back and forth from the comedy of the first performance and the drama of the escape. Its too emotionally jarring with the true socio-emotional issues of the characters being parodied (I guess this is what happens when a Wayans brother helps write your movie!).
This movie is a great movie with great actors, especially Michael Wright (Eddie), who is an amazing under-rated actor who gives it his all in this film. But I don't think Robert Townsend should have acted in this movie, as he is not the best actor for drama. He always has a smirk on his face and looks like he is about to bust out laughing, which is overly evident during the music montages... which are actually some of the worst parts of the movie.
I think the worst aspect of the movie altogether is the voice-overs during the music montages. As if a band member would be able to talk on stage to his band-mates in a low volume voice, and have the band-mates hear them without their voice picking up on the microphone for the audience to hear... its just not believable in any way possible. Not to mention, Townsend's character directs his band-mates to sing and dance in real-time on the stage, having to make changes on a dime... that is absolutely unbelievable. It would not be possible, and that type of thing parodies the entire concept of live music altogether. "Okay, you sing in a low voice... NOW! Okay, now you and the other guy do backup vocals in harmonic thirds... NOW! Okay, now spin around and do a three foot shuffle with a slide into the chorus... NOW!" Absolutely ridiculous. It makes the Motown performances look like an episode of Who's Line Is It Anyway with Drew Carey... cmon!
If you can suspend your disbelief to the infinite degree during those performances, ignore the comedic aspect, and allow yourself to become emotionally vested in the drama of the film, then you will enjoy the movie for what it is meant to be worth. If this movie had been released on Lifetime or BET, instead of releasing in theaters, I think it would have received better critic response. Especially if it was filmed in 2020, as critics wouldn't have responded to the commentary on racism with such a negative view. In 1991 it was considered to be shoehorned into the movie, but in 2020 every movie is a shoehorned commentary on racism.
Beavis and Butt-Head (2017)
Now this is how you make a dont-care-about-being-politically-correct remake!
In a time in which remakes just palette swap characters, this show captures all the best aspects of the original series. I'm surprised how funny this is... it is updated and relevant, without focusing on being politically correct to the extent that every little joke or act offends those that are offended by every little thing. My only complaint is that I would much rather see videos from different genres of music. I like that they include non-music videos, but all the music videos are either extremely poppy or rap. What's wrong with throwing some metal videos into the mix?? I don't think the music videos are really all that relevant to today's culture, let alone the culture of the original series. But that is just a small complaint.... I am very happy to binge watch all of the series. Now this is how you remake!
Scott Hall: Living on a Razor's Edge (2016)
The closest thing to a Scott Hall autobiography
Unfortunately being that Scott Hall has passed and he never officially published an autobiography (or even an official biography), this video is the closest thing to a Scott Hall autobiography that we will ever get. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, as this video does a great job of capturing Scott's story. It basically showcases how Diamond Dallas Page saved Scott's life and gave him an extra 5+ years of life to enjoy before his passing. The video covers a decent amount of Scott's history, but mainly focuses on DDP's rehabilitation efforts to save Scott's life. Scott, DDP, and Jake the Snake Roberts are the main focus of more than half of the video -- a similar video covering Jake's rehabilitation was covered a year prior in his video: The Resurrection of Jake the Snake. Both of these men's stories are extremely emotional, as both have gone through some serious emotional, mental and physical trauma in their entire lives. Its just unfortunate that Jake the Snake was the only one of the two to actually overcome his struggles with alcohol and drug addiction. If you watch this video intently you might shed a tear. Scott Hall was a great wrestler and an awesome person -- he was honest about his struggles, but he also did a lot for charities while he was a wrestler, especially Make-A-Wish (such as when he gave his actual championship belt to a kid dying from AIDS). RIP Scott Hall.
The Last House on Dead End Street (1973)
7th time is a charm
I'm sorry, but this movie sucks. Straight up. If it is going to be rated/reviewed in a reasonable manner that holds the movie up against other films that were released during that time and had similar budgets, then.... it sucks. It is poor quality all around. Technically speaking it is abhorrent. The lighting, the cinematography, the sound recording... its all horrible. The script (is there even a script?), the dialogue, the acting, the actors... all garbage.
The movie is so boring. I tried to watch it for real.... you know, pay attention and allow myself to become engrossed in the film, suspend my disbelief and really take it all in... And its just gross. In all honesty it basically equates with boring pornography from 1973. THAT is what this movie should be compared to. Because this is not a regular, straightforward film. It is just a horrible, horrible soft-core pornography film from 1973. And even in that regard it is super poor quality.
Pop your popcorn and sit on the couch and transport yourself into the boring, lame, unbelievable (not shocking unbelievable but "I just don't believe you" unbelievable) world of whoever this wannabe gangster is, And fall asleep. Need to ween yourself off of sleeping medication? THIS should be your medication of choice! Abhorrent.
Jury Duty (2023)
The Office cloned with deceptive "reality show" tagline
The first episode actually does a good job of selling the viewer on the idea that this is a reality show, and that everyone is acting except for one person, and that the one person is essentially being pranked. Even after James Marsden comes in on the 2nd episode, there are still some aspects of the show that convincingly continue the sham. But by the 3rd episode you can't help but to wonder why NOBODY recognizes Marsden except for the guy "being pranked", or how they managed to succeed with getting the guy to perfectly participate in unscripted improv "comedy" that always comes together (meaning it never fails) like episodes of the Office. And then by the 4th episode you can't help but to ask yourself "Am I actually watching the Office by mistake?"
The Office... a boring dry comedy show in which every character is an idiot that says and does only absolutely idiotic things.
Because that is what all these people end up doing, except for the one guy being pranked. Yet he participates in all of the dumb activities (why would he do such a thing?), or during the times he is off-camera we are left to watch a scripted improv comedy skit unfold... that which is meant to purposely look and sound exactly like the Office. By the 4th episode the hijinks become so absurd... nobody with a brain could possibly believe that the things they see are not some part of a hidden camera prank. Or.... the one guy, who supposedly doesn't know that everything is fake, is actually so oblivious to things that he could seriously believe that the Office was a reality show.
What I'm saying is.... by the 3rd or 4th episode, you will realize that you are not watching a reality show in which one guy is being pranked.... instead, you are watching a blatantly horrible Office clone. The "everyone is an actor except for one person" bit is BS... and that one actor is poorly acting just as much as the rest of them.
Forget that the show breaks rules of law and courtroom procedures (things that obviously go over everyone's head, including the guy who "doesn't know its fake").... the first episode leaves you scratching your head as to what is going on in totality because there is no background info given.... the show just jumps into the 1st episode with no explanation.
Also, I recognized that some of the cast are actors that I have seen before in other shows and movies. Imagine how quick the show would get pulled if the one guy actually didn't know the truth, and then one day learned that his fellow jurors have all been on multiple shows and movies. Oopsies!
Bottom line is that you will most likely enjoy his show if you like The Office, though it is lacking the charm of the US version of the Office. And I never watched the UK version so I can't comment. But its quite dated as far as the comedy goes, is it not?
And its quite offensive that they are selling the garbage to the public as "real". (i.e. They are LYING).
News of the World (2020)
Surprised people don't realize....
That this movie uses a green screen A LOT! So I dont know how this garbage could have been nominated for so many Oscars when it uses a green screen for so much of the backdrop. And Tom Hanks' acting is getting extremely lazy. It is to the point that he doesn't feel the need to even do anything other than be himself. At least with Castaway he played Tom Hanks acting crazy on an island. In this movie he doesn't even play Tom Hanks acting like he is in a western. He just plays Tom Hanks being Tom Hanks, who happens to be in the a western. Its the same Tom Hanks in every movie for the last 10 years. Sloppy garbage.
Friday: The Animated Series (2007)
Racist then, racist now
Pretty bad to be honest.
For one, it is nothing like Friday. The humor is not the same, the characters are not the same (Craig is a bum instead of a down-on-his-luck first time weed smoker, Smokie is a crackhead instead of a weed smoker/seller, and the dad is really threatening/angry). The characters are ALL portrayed in a negative light with no redeeming qualities. And oddly enough, the white characters are all drawn in a beautiful manner and are either portrayed in a positive light (such as the white girl who goes missing) or have very few stereotype jokes made about them (such as the army recruiter). The jokes are not even funny. Its a shame this is in the Friday universe.
Two... its racist. The jokes aren't even DefJam kinda humor where its shocking and laughing at stereotypes of people. Its just blatantly making fun of black people, while barely ever making fun of the other races. So its focused on black people as a crutch for cheap laughs. Really unacceptable imo.
This makes sense though, because it comes from Ice Cube's CubeHumor Production company, which is the same production company that created Black. White, which was an extremely racist tv show in which white people dressed up like black people with blackface and black people dressed up like white people with whiteface, so that both races could "see what its like to be the other race". In reality, it was just constantly making fun of both races. But at least that show attempted to focus on making fun of people other than black people.
This cartoon is garbage. Skip it and watch Mike Tyson Mysteries.... hilarious cartoon that makes fun of everyone (including itself) without sacrificing the characters, story, or fairness. 4 seasons @ 70 episodes, compared to this junk that is only 8 episodes long.
Poker Face (2022)
Amazing cast, boring story, garbage movie
If you think about it, the story is just a mishmash of ideas strung together into a boring film that spends too much time setting up the climax without actually justifying it, and then the movie just ends quickly with no resolution. Plus the entire story can only be reasoned via the main character having unlimited finances. Hella plot holes throughout with no explanation and plot devices that a 3yo can see through.
Pointless into scene with kids... the movie could exist without. Super rich guy goes to magical retreat to get a magical medicine (not over the counter btw) that "poisons" people in some unknown way that makes them tell the truth and is exasperated by adrenaline (not making this up) and causes death if too much is ingested. All we know is that he is a great poker player and he is dying from cancer. And he and his friend created some program that is used by the govt (justifies being rich, as if the govt would just pay a single person trillions of dollars for software). All bur one of his friends are horrible people that have wronged him in some way... one is sleeping with his wife and got her pregnant (problem is never resolved btw), another is a politician that arranged to have his crazy brother steal millions worth of art in front of everyone (hello police??! Jeez), another is trying to steal his fortune when he dies by setting up a trust, and another is planning on committing suicide in his living room. So what does the main character do? Rewards them all with $5mil each after they didn't have any faith in his company and no care for him as a friend. Only the RZA is a decent guy..... and he's black! So take THAT racism!! (Movie was made by Australians, so you get the real irony here if you know Australians!)
Not to mention, dude's friend sacrificed dude's employee (at the gate) so he doesn't get caught cheating on his wife. Smfh. I mean, this movie makes no sense.... not a single character is likeable except for the RZA.
Dead for a Dollar (2022)
Nobody will watch this movie twice
There are so many technical things wrong with this movie, from the horrible bland washed-over photography that looks like a tv show from the early 1990s, to the poor choice of camera lenses on the wide-angle shots resulting in grainy closeups, to the cheap set design with clothing that doesnt fit the era, to the horrible dialog that also doesn't fit the era, to the limited cast with almost zero extras (Guadalajara, Mexico had more than 50,000 residents at the point in history that this movie is supposed to have taken place, yet there are only about 20 people living there in the movie).... I know that this movie was filmed during Covid so there were many restrictions in place, but if your movie is going to be this horrible "because of Covid" then you just shouldn't make it.
None of this explains why these A-list actors absolutely don't give a crap about filming this movie. They deliver all of their lines like they hate to be alive. The only actors not doing this are the supporting cast and extras.... how sad. Especially from Waltz and Dafoe. I see everyone speaking about Rachel Brosnahan as if she is an A-list actor.... but she is not. She has been in a few completely forgettable movies and then mostly tv episodes (not TV series, just TV episodes). The one thing she did that received compliment is the Marvelous Mrs Maisel, but that doesn't prepare her for a western movie. In this movie she is probably the worst actor, but its a close 3-way tie with Waltz and Dafoe. Benjamin Bratt steals the show, if that can be said about anyone.
The most overrated aspect of this movie is Walter Hill. I don't know what alternate universe we live in, in which Walter Hill is considered some amazing mind-blowingly great director, but he is not. And this movie proves it. He hasn't written anything good since the Aliens franchise, and that's basically the only good thing he produces now as well. His post-Aliens works have been accused of racism and seismic (you really need to look not further than his 2016 film The Assignment, in which gender reassignment surgery is the topic of conversation. But this movie he really throws the woman under the bus and makes her out to be the worst person she could possibly be.... for no reason. Actually we get no reason for anyone or anything.... no backstories, nothing.
Let's be honest... there is only one good thing about this film. Just one. And that is.... the score. Xander Rodzinkski is still rather unknown, but he has done a lot of amazing music. With this movie he is still getting things figured out, but I know his next western will overly impress.
Can anyone tell me why Walter Hill ended the movie by pretending that this was "based on true events"...? So weak. Because its not. There isn't anything to allude to this being based on true events. Because the west was not this bland and boring, that is for sure.
Tusk (2014)
I give this a 10 because it is rated too low
This movie is GREAT. It is not meant to be taken serious, it isn't supposed to be some deep philosophical reflection on politics or religion or whatever, its not meta, its not epic..... its just a really great B horror movie. Probably Kevin Smith's best movie! It doesn't revolve around the same weed/sex/comic book obsessed characters that he has been recycling in all his films since 1994, and he finally uses some fresh faces....... Justin Long, in his first horror film since Jeepers Creepers, the great Michael Parks (R. I. P.), Haley Joel Osment (lol can this dude act like anyone other than himself? Jeeez), and..... JOHNNY DEPP! An un-accredited appearance by Johnny Depp.... AWESOME!
This is original af. Who would think to make a movie about a crazy walrus obsessed serial killer kidnapping a$$holes and turning them into walruses?? Kevin Smith would not be the person I choose. Not only that, but who would actually financially back it?! If you know about filmmaking then you know that it was produced by a great producer...... Nate Bolotin (XYZ Films), known for amazing films such as Mandy, Brawl in Cell Block 99, and The Raid: Redemption and The Raid 2.
If you want to watch a weird B horror movie with your girlfriend and leave her wondering wtf is going on....... this is it!
Gwledd (2021)
Horribly boring
That's really it. This movie is horribly boring. The filmmaker spends too much time obsessed with mundane things without delivering any real suspense. Nothing is creepy, no horror elements, no suspense elements. Just a privileged dysfunctional family (which is quite normal) getting ready for dinner while doing a bunch of pointless tasks. Thr only reason the viewer sits waiting for something to happen is because this movie is filed in the horror and suspense category. But none of those elements exist so what's the point? Watching the girl being fascinated with a normal glass or a piece of mango or a dirty piece of broken glass.... these things are boring. And when the woman acted like bok choy was elegant... lol.
Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)
Worst movie I have ever seen... hands down.
Not only is this the worst Creeper film in the franchise, it is by far the worst movie to get a theatrical release in 2022. And personally I think it is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Sure, there are really bad movies out there in general... many sci-fi films from the 50's and 60's are completely unwatchable. But this is a well-known horror franchise 3 movies deep and numerous comics... there is no excuse for this movie to be this bad.
The filmmakers did some hella shady junk to make as much money off of this as possible. First of all, they found a newbie actress with the SAME NAME as the girl in the 1st movie (she also had an ending cameo in the 3rd) and promoted the movie with her name, as if the actual actress is worth mentioning in marketing materials. So the real Gina had to go out of her way to tell people she had nothing to do with this garbage. Second, these people essentially made a Creeper movie without getting permission from the owners of Jeepers Creepers... they didn't acquire the proper licenses or anything. In fact, they didn't acquire licenses for the Jeepers Creepers song and sound effects (such as the truck horn) because they wanted to cut corners and save money, so they have some new wack Jeepers Creepers song and sound effects. This is especially egregious because they released the movie on the premise that this was a reboot for the franchise. There is no way in hell that this movie will ever serve as the 1st movie for a new trilogy... no way. This movie will become a footnote and be forgotten (hopefully) because it takes some of the best parts of the Jeepers Creepers franchise and forgets them on the account that it was cheaper to do so. And they tried to shoehorn all these random aspects of the previous movies and comics to give the impression that the lore is important, but the things they shoehorned in are of little importance for a franchise reboot (such as putting the rose pattern from the man's stomach in the first movie onto the throwing star..... yaaaawn).
Majority of the movie is filmed in front of a green screen. So, yeah.... that right there is all you need to know. And its not a Marvel movie, so its not like they did a good job with it... it is constantly noticeable and a distraction. And its horribly rendered. When the girl runs out of the car to go puke in the woods... even THAT is in front of a green screen! Entire scenes are completely green screen. All driving scenes, the church, the cemetery, the woods, and the house.... not real at all. No practical sets or effects... everything is just green screened and CGI... and it was done for the cheapest amount possible. So pathetic.
They probably had a total of 20 people cast as extras, which is really bad when the story partly centers around a "huge" rave with a contest that requires a 3-digit number to win the prize. The filmmakers made a bad decision to have some people dress up as famous characters for the rave, because as a viewer you cannot refrain from noticing them in every scene (for example, Beetlejuice is behind the counter in the ticket booth, he is in the crowd dancing, he is helping in backstage area, and he appears in a different crowd when the main characters leave). Other people are seen doing the same thing. The rave is hella weak and cliche with horrible set designing. At one point a generic dance track is being played by the DJ, then wifi cuts off and he says "no worries i have some records" (indicating he was streaming the song before the internet cut off), then he puts on the exact same track they were listening to before the internet cut off. So weak.
The acting is so incredibly bad. Its amazing that actors can be this bad. Pay special attention to the woman who runs the novelty store they go to near the beginning of the film, the woman hosting the rave (she should receive an award for worst actor to exist on planet Earth), the female main character, the female Asian main character, and the young man wearing a really bad fake beard while attempting to look 20 years older... he drives the van to the green screen cemetery.
The set design and costumes are horrible. But the new Creeper van is really bad. The filmmakers supposedly wanted to create a new one that looks more beaten and worn-down, but the truck looks like a Matchbox car purchased at Walmart.
The story supposedly is set in Louisiana, but it is painfully obvious that none of the actors speak Southern American. I read a comment on imdB that says the people had to train to "master" the southern accent..... umm, no!! They sound like British people trying to use a southern accent for the first time.... like when your British friends come to your party and get drunk and meet your Southern American friend, and try to imitate her accent to be funny, but fail miserably when everyone stares at them and tells them to please stop because they are embarrassed. Pay special attention to the woman hosting the rave.... you know, the woman I said should receive an award for worst actor on planet Earth.... she gives up trying to do the accent halfway through her scene.... omg I can't believe this movie was released into a movie theater, who greenlit this?!?
Did you see the scene where the people are hiding from the Creeper at the bottom of the stairs in a well lit room, but are not actually hiding and can be seen just sitting there, even as the Creeper comes downstairs....? Lmfao they don't try to run or anything.
Yes, this is the director's first movie, so i understand it will be bad. But I just gotta be honest and say that he should not make any more movies.... its that bad. Career-ending bad.
Did nobody realize that the story has subplots that go nowhere? Like, totally pointless stuff that isn't explained. Why does the Creeper need a fetus that is 7 months from being born... how will that feed him within the next 23 days? Why did the old couple at the beginning of the movie go back to the church to look down the hole instead of calling the police? Its as if the director said "well, they explained why they did it in the first movie so we don't need to explain it... let's just have the couple hold hands and go to the church, thats enough!" Come tf on!!! And why was the girl's friend driving his old, dirty inexpensive sports car in the middle of a forest nowhere near the main road? And why was a road sign at the intersection in that forest? And why was there even an intersection?!? How did his phone work there? What happened to him? Nobody cares that he disappeared. Dude got lost in a forest with roads that had stop signs and road signs and speed limit signs and his phone worked... jeeez. I truly believe that dude was friends with the director and he wanted to put him and his car into the movie, because there is no reason for it. Also no reason for the boyfriend to cheat on the girl with a random girl when they introduce the Asian girl blatantly hitting on him when they all meet.
So many problems with this garbage. 1/10 is being generous. How can a film be this bad?