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Davidh122397
Reviews
Salem's Lot (2024)
Kind of dull
So I'm a huge fan of the book and I felt this film adaptation just sort of dragged along and most of it felt like a foreign TV movie, especially the opening scene which was slow and felt like I was hearing a script.
We then go to Ben staring at the Marsten house like he has memories of it but we the audience don't see that. I read from an old test screening review that originally the opening scene was young Ben Mears and others going into the house and something creepy happens that traumatizes him. But apparently that was cut out. So him randomly staring at the house like it's significant feels weird and out of place. To be honest, most of this film feels like scenes are missing and things were edited out. I loved the bit characters of Larry Crockett and Eva Miller, they were fantastic and raised the quality of the movie. But other characters just were not given a proper arch, The Floyd character is talked about and established but we don't get any sort of real conflict like in the book. Father Callahan looks bored. And Ben and Susan don't even have a first kiss before Eva find them half-naked in his room. I felt like there was a missing scene. I liked Dr. Cody's comedic timing and I enjoyed the humor. Barlow looked a little too video game CGI for me. The characters are definitely not fleshed out and everything feels sort of forced and rushed. Stephen King tweeted that the hospital scene with Danny was one of the best he's seen in a horror movie, and personally, I found it to be nothing special. I did think the part where Ralph was kidnapped got under my skin and that had the eerie suspenseful tension that something like this requires, and was the only time I felt scared during this movie. However, most of the kids acting besides Mark wasn't very good, felt like a lot of forced lines.
Straker felt like he was too performative and felt like a caricature. I didn't really buy Lewis Pullman as Ben Mears, he felt too young. But his acting was very good in the church and I respect it. I thought the drive in ending was actually fun and enjoyed the resolution. I thought the music was nice but the editing and story just were disjointed. There were clearly missing scenes and things just jumped randomly without being earned. I think this film suffers as a victim of the pandemic and was rushed and time was not taken to properly organize the story.
Megalopolis (2024)
One of the worst movies ever made, The Room quality!
This movie reminded me of The Room, and Adam Driver's performance was more akin to Tommy Wiseau. Cringe dialogue and bad writing that he could not fake it through. Adam Driver and Nathalie Emmanuel had zero chemistry. Since this was filmed around pandemic times, I'm wondering if they even met before being cast or were just cast off of zoom. I will bet you now that Adam Driver, Nathalie Emmanuel, and Aubrey Plaza will all get Razzie Award nominations and may even win. I've never seen such a "talented" pool of actors lacking such self-awareness as to embarrass themselves and make us question whether they are truly talented. I walked out before the ending because I could not take the bad dialogue, it was like the actors were talking to a wall and had just learned their lines 5 minutes before. That opening Hamlet speech was one of the worst I've ever seen. The cinematography looked like a 2003 made for TV movie edited on Windows 95. This was pretentious, shallow, and a waste of money. It's not even so bad it's good because I couldn't follow the plot because it was all over the place.
Imaginary (2024)
Lifetime quality Blumhouse movie that is atrocious
Really terrible on all fronts from the acting, shoddy editing, weird production design and bad writing. I used to have so much respect for Dewanda Wise but this movie made her look really bad. Felt like she just showed up and learned her lines that morning, random emotional scenes that felt out of place and acting on par with melodramatic lifetime movies. There was zero chemistry between all the actors. Worst casting was the father who kept falling in and out of his accent from American to Australian. I did not buy him as a father at all, and the age difference did not feel authentic. Dewanda just felt like she was showing up for her check, she needs to fire her agent. The cinematography felt too much like a TV movie with special effects that looked like a 90's Disney film like "Don't Look Under the Bed." I got whiplash from the dark scenes transitioning straight to bright sunlight. The film was laughably bad, I'm shocked it made it into theaters. There was not a single good performance in this film. Teenagers in the theatre kept chatting and playing on their phones and laughing, which tells me even more that nobody was invested in this mediocre film.
I didn't buy for a second that any of the characters ever cared about one another. Teenage daughter was a clichè stereotype I've seen so many times, nothing fresh or intriguing. I did not buy for a second Dewanda cared about those kids and there was zero chemistry akin to actors talking to a pillow because nothing genuine bounced between them. Just flat and forced emotion that was never earned.
The Little Mermaid (2023)
CGI fest
I really wish films would go back to using more practical effects and real sets. I just can't get on board with all these movies looking like video games, it takes away the magic and the art of the film and turns it into something mediocre. AI has been here all along and it's made story telling lazy because it's all put together by a guy behind a computer sipping his latte, just eventually they won't need the guy with the latte. I hope audiences reject this new norm, the flashy, simulated computer visuals are so distracting. The movie felt like a screensaver, and even for a mermaid movie, some of the character choices were laughably bizzare. I will say that the 2 leads had good chemistry and that Awkwafina was really funny as Scuttle. I also liked the ending as presenting the message of community, but I would've liked it more with less computer work or at least if it was more realistic looking.
The Idol: Double Fantasy (2023)
The joke should've ended by now
Ok the first episode was funny but when I introspect about it, I feel guilty laughing because it's dehumanizing. I mean where have we gone when this is how we are entertained? The finger blasting on the couch really over did it (in this episode they upgraded to a glass cup). And now
when I see this actress that's what I'll always think of. Are we supposed to feel bad for the character Josselyn? It seems she is the source of all this heated sexuality, she perpetuates it. She commands it with agency, so is she really a victim of Hollywood? Or part of the problem? She actually violates her own legal protections in her contract to take off her clothes of her own free will. Lily Rose-Depp lacks any self-awareness as an actress. Allowing victimization to happen in real time without actually knowing it's happening due to the sake of "high art" -I could barely get through this episode even though I found the first one humorous and entertaining. But The Weekend and his acting was even worse in this one. Every line is empty and filled with conceited amateurishness that it takes me out of it, it's like he's trying to be "natural" by just being schmoozey. I really like A24 and the cinematography but the writing is dreadful and the performances on the verge of hammy. It feels sometimes like they are making it up on the spot for the sake of "naturalness."
The Idol (2023)
Hilarious and intriguing until The Weekend shows up
The cinematography is great, and the opening scene is really really powerful. I've also lived in LA AND MUCH OF THIS IS TRUE, it's a sad industry of opportunists trying to get rich off of exploiting others. I will say, I did not expect it to be so funny, but in a demoralizing way "frosted pop-tart" I was laughing for a good 2 minutes after that. While the comedy is amazing, it takes away from the art and humanity of the story and makes it look cheap. So I'm laughing with you, but I'm also laughing at you.
Lily-Rose Depp is a revelation, even though I've only been able to watch 1 episode. But I feel, like her character, she's lacking self-awareness as an actress because she and The Weekend have ZERO chemistry, and the show was going great until he showed up. But then again I feel like I've read lots of tabloid stories about pretty female stars shacking up with sleazy guys, so maybe it's more on point then we think. But he needs an acting class.
Beau Is Afraid (2023)
Bizarre and Confusing but good acting.
So this film was disjointed and confusing and all over the place. There was no real plot and I found myself just as lost and confused as Beau was. It was just one random thing after the next (I get why Phoenix made that joke about Mushrooms) because there was no real through-line or goal, it was just flashy imagery and possessed nightmare sequences. I will say the acting was outstanding. Especially the sequence in the play, I almost walked out of the theatre but when the guy came on the stage with the paper trees it woke me up like hearing great Shakespeare for the first time (I was shocked when I looked him up and saw he didn't go to a great theatre school and is not
British) that scene alone made made me stay for the entire movie. Also wow Parker Posey was transcendent, I didn't even know it was her until I just looked up the cast list. Very connected and a great performance. All-in-all this is a silly movie that requires patience. I definitely can't say this is more than a one time watch and then forget it for me. Was just too slow and I didn't know what to root for or what in the movie was my purpose for investing myself because Beau is just and ordinary guy that I don't care about. I just still can't comprehend that someone sat down and wrote this because it looks like most of it was made up on the spot.
BTW I don't even know what to rate this because it was that weird but the acting was so good I feel bad giving it a low score. Bottom line, unless you like weird, slow, and esoteric art house films... you will be bored.
Scream VI (2023)
Good but being overhyped by the studio
I definitely missed Sidney, and Gale's explanation was cheesy writing at its best "she sends her love" lol I don't think Courtney even believed the writing in that line but at least she has good comedic timing. I really did NOT like the opener. I have longed for a great opening like the first or the great scene with Cici in Scream 2 but we have yet to get one, the tension ends too quickly in all the new films.
The opening wasn't that suspenseful and felt rushed, not very much cat and mouse with ghost face whose voice I think is the true star of the films now. Also, the whole movie is so implausible. I've never seen so many of the main characters in a movie get repeatedly stabbed so the audience gets the feeling of a kill, only for them to be alive again at the end of the movie. Make a decision. I really liked Kirby she was one of my favorite characters in this and I never really loved Scream 4, but always thought she was the best actress in that film. Also the ending was terrible and the killers cheesy. The tiktok looking kid was over acting trying to play "crazy" at the end and it was just too much. Jenna was great and I love Jasmine Savoy Brown, she's a really good actress. And the diversity is cool too, but I'm starting to think it's almost obvious how clichè it's becoming how almost every white person in the movie is the villain now a days and everyone has a boyfriend/girlfriend of color. I'm all for it when it feels natural but it just kind of feels forced, just an honest observation. Also I wish studios would stop the false advertising because there was almost NO NEW YORK in this movie, it was filmed in Montreal, Canada and all we got were green screen shots of NY in the background.
M3GAN (2022)
Peak cinema! Best movie I've seen in theatre's since pandemic started!
This movie was so much fun. Kept me fully entertained and didn't look at my phone once. It takes a lot for a movie to do that now a days as I feel like my patience has waned since a lot of stuff has become mediocre, preachy and political. This movie is amazing. It has a lot of heart and subtext too, I got the chills in all the right places, jumped in the right places, and even teared up during the most human moments. This movie is what going to the cinema should be, entertainment but also made me reflect in ways I didn't think I would. The acting from the 3 leads were spot on. I thought some of the supporting cast was campy but I think it's because they are New Zealand actors trying to be American and it comes off campy but somehow kind of works and makes the movie better. I thought the first scene with Ronny Chieng that his clarity (speech) was kind of messy and threw me off but as the film went on it worked for the character. Lori Dungey was great as the neighbor and she's from NZ, totally had me thinking she was American, such a well trained actress. Great writing, music, cinematography. 10/10.
Bones and All (2022)
Pretty cinematography, but ultimately forgettable
Timmy plays the same role in everything, it would be interesting to see how he plays roles as he gets older and is not the moody, brooding, 20-something sex symbol that his team has marketed him as. But I mean they've done a good job as this TikTok generation is all about the shiny image on the outside with very little depth. He's attractive in this and for what it was did a good job, I found him likable and sympathetic and charming. Again he plays a bi-sexual character (I think) and the audience is teased and gaslighted again as he's only dated women in public in his real life and has never flirted with a man publicly, but does it in all these movies because it's "cool" (when it's pretend) while real lgbtq people don't live these pretty lives with beautiful straight acting men like Timmy wanting to charm us. The movie is a fantasy. I would like to see real representation one day. And I had a little bit of a sour taste in my mouth because I couldn't tell for sure if he was actually bi-sexual or just using a closeted man to take advantage of him. So that character plot point was a miss for me as it was brief and never discussed again in the film. Also his tears towards the end felt feigned, didn't seem like they were natural.
I didn't think he and the actress had any chemistry, didn't buy their love story, she's kind of bland and one note with zero charisma. Her vibe was as if she had taken a Benadryl everyday while shooting this film, she was half asleep the entire movie. I liked a lot of the small supporting actors and their naturalness, the cinematography was beautiful as were the scenic locations and the 80's nostalgia. Mark Rylance was very good in this and a great villain because you never really know if he's a villain until the story progresses, he just always irks you the wrong way but he's so good slowly revealing himself. I've heard people say he's "the greatest" living male actor, and I don't think that's true. If anything he's proof you can be well regarded by playing yourself because I always see him in all his roles, I know it's Mark. Even when he's really good. Or maybe great acting really isn't about "losing yourself" but finding yourself, interesting thing to think about.
Bottom line the movie has its grotesque moments and it has its pretty ambient atmosphere but I found it to be a one time watch for me. It's pretty forgettable as it doesn't really leave you with anything. I just walked away with feeling, okay.
Elvis (2022)
Average, not bad, but I think overhyped
The movie is interesting but I think it's overhyped. I mean I appreciate all the stuff about the influence of black culture but I feel like maybe they pushed too hard to be current with what was politically relevant with today i.e. George Floyd and diversity in cinema. Almost felt exploitive in that they were using stuff like Martin Luther King's death to try and humanize Elvis to be this "great" empathetic man. I don't know how much of it is actually true but I feel like they enhanced and focused on that because it's what the focus is in todays politics, they focused on Bobby King's death too. It just seemed like they were exploiting these great men of black culture to give their film credit in today's world. I almost just decided I wouldn't comment on it but then they actually had him talking with tear filled eyes to Rosetta Thorpe's ghost and that just crossed the line in how purposely this was done to appeal to todays culture shift to swing awards voters and the public because a " privileged straight white man" who abused drugs and philanderer'd with women that weren't his wife just isn't interesting or lovable in todays culture, so I feel like the filmmakers used and exploited black people to sell Elvis in todays market. I'm sure the producers were thinking how do we sell a rich white straight man like Elvis in 2022? In a Hollywood award season). Make him cry and dance with black people throughout half of the movie? Again I wish it was true, but feels like an exploitive attempt to join today's culture club. And I looked online and many articles said the movie embellished these friendships.
Also Butler's performance felt self-indulgent to me. Never felt like I was watching "Elvis" but that I was watching an actor play him. It wasn't bad just not this transformative great spectacle people are calling it. It's even good, but a far shot from what I'd call Oscar worthy. I feel like actors trying to get Oscars play these real people in this generic formulaic attempt for recognition, want an Oscar? Play a real person they say. Felt like a pretty guy posing. More of a !look at me! I'm Elvis, instead of actually being him. I've seen him in things before, felt like I was watching Austin Butler whisper like Elvis. And some of the lines were really clichè and corny like "fly high". Again, not a bad movie, just very overrated in my opinion. And I wonder how much computer work they did on the singing? Also Tom Hanks was totally playing a caricature and he came off as a clown, like a parody.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Blumhouse Money Grab
People wondering how this movie could be so preposterously comical in how bad it is should look to the source who created it. Why would Blumhouse make a final GOOD third movie so another company could profit? They don't care about fans. Jason Blum specifically stated that they only got the rights for three films, so this franchise isn't over, it just ends with Blumhouse. So I feel like they purposefully made a giant F U film so no one else could make any money off of the reboots popularity and they could get a quick cash grab. That's just my hypothesis. I mean what's with the bad acting and random Corey dude? Makes no sense, horrible subplots and just random.
Cherry Falls (1999)
Fun 90's nostalgia but don't take it too seriously
I saw this movie several times on TV as a kid and always liked it, it has a great small town fall aesthetic. Its definitely dated and a good time capsule into the 90's, so it's great for nostalgia. Watching it as an adult now it's a lot more silly than I remember as a kid, I enjoyed it again and it kept my attention but some of the acting is cheesy and almost reminds me of "the room" but it gives me laughs and does keep me guessing; so if you take it for what it is as a "black comedy" then I think it works. But would probably be better if we ever got the "uncut" version. It's entertaining and not as predictable as most movies that are in the same genre; the twist ending is actually great.
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
Acting on par with a bad middle school play
Took sheer will power to get through the first 10 minutes it was like watching a middle school play. The 3 young witches were acting like they were waiting for us audience members to clap for how "cute" they were acting and it wasn't cute. So goofy! In a bad way. Terrible over the top acting!!! Everyone was trying way too hard. The first one felt grounded in reality within the fantasy of it, we could relate to the characters and it is such a great comfort movie I have watched every Halloween. This movie belongs at the bottom of the trash bin in what I would label as generic. All the actors were acting with a capital A! It's trying way too hard. The one playing the boyfriend, Froy something was so animatedly over acting it was painful. You may like this film if you're of the brainless and passive influencer crowd, but I don't know how a fan of the original could love this. I feel violated. Casting and films today are all about cheap optics and not good story telling.
Blonde (2022)
Marilyn is assaulted from the grave! Deplorable.
Okay there are movies that are bad because they are poorly made or low budget or can't afford good talent. This is a movie that should have known better, with the big studio, budget, and access to talent it's truly shocking how dehumanizing and awful this movie is. I can't tell if its supposed to be a parody or if it's trying to be serious. Most of the characters are poorly cast. I don't know how this is getting awards buzz. Yea! Ana De Armas can hit emotional peaks in her acting, but does it fit the character in reality? She knows what she shouldn't know. There's no real journey beyond fantasy, the character and the actress already know what's going to happen from the beginning of the film. She plays Marilyn like a naïve passive doll, with zero self-awareness. Was this actually who Marilyn was? Also she clearly has a Cuban accent. Which contributes to me wondering if this is supposed to be some kind of meta voyeuristic film that's combining two worlds: that of Marilyn, and the reality of the "film" in itself in the actress "playing" her. I don't know what this movie is trying to be. Is it a dream? Why is there so much exploitation? Where is the humanity? Its like a broken purgatory of one woman's hell. Hollywood has a bad history of exploiting people but this movie really is another level of awful in patting itself on the back. It's like the movie is having a beer with Hollywood's exploitive casting couch past.
She is a prop in this movie, her body is at the hands of all these men. Marilyn is being assaulted from the grave and robbed of her true voice. Music and cinematography are only positive things in my opinion. I really wonder if any of these actors ever stopped and asked themselves why am I doing this? What am I really contributing to humanity in this film? What is the purpose? My guess is... vanity and a paycheck. Also the model looking guys she enters the three way with in the film are not that attractive in real life! Not only did they embellish and fictionalize an affair but they made the men look like well groomed models. Films like this put fissures in the reality of the real world. We can't escape darkness when films like this cover it with a mask.
Nope (2022)
Weird movie
So this movie started good and I liked the sitcom stuff but it got weird and not gonna lie kind of boring. Get Out was a masterpiece and after that everything went down hill. I did not like Us at all. And now Nope was just weird and strange, and I felt like there was all this symbolism with the spaceship and female genitalia so I'm just very confused.
Purple Hearts (2022)
Stop casting British guys to play American Marines
It's so annoying. So many American actors are unemployed and working at Starbucks in student debt and they cast and pay American dollars to a British guy to play the American marine and live his experience. I can't stand it. So many talented American actors who are unemployed and even actually served could have played this role. Not some British pretty boy.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
Boring and unfunny traded tickets for Black Phone
Wow as a HUGE! Marvel fan I'm shocked at how bad this was. So many cliché jokes, no character development, and Chris Hemsworth is no longer an actor in my opinion but a Disney prop just generating revenue with the same old schtick. I personally think Disney buys reviews because how these disasters just debut with higher rating and falter when us fans speak our mind is shocking. Only good thing was I was able to go see Back Phone after 80 mins of this crap and actually found a movie I really enjoyed that I normally wouldn't have seen. Way better filmmaking and acting. The jokes in this Thor aren't even funny, it's like they try to get the audience to laugh with them but we end up laughing at them. Films don't care about good storytelling anymore, they want to be "politically correct" and enlighten us with how they want us to think. All hogwash. Save your money. Disney is 3rd rate.
Watcher (2022)
Psychological mind warp
Pretty solid movie. Love the tone and aesthetic of the environment. It's kind of a slow burn but the payoff makes it worth it. Maika Monroe gives a solid performance and Karl (who plays her husband) is my new actor crush. I enjoyed it and it kept my attention because you want to know the WHY factor, what's going on with this girl?!?!
Firestarter (2022)
Walked out
Amateurish writing. Awful acting. The mom and the captain of the agency need some serious acting classes, that or the writing was just so bad. Very contrived, forced and fake emotion. The main bad guy was cringe. At times I felt like I was actually watching an old cheesy movie from the 80's. Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore and left to save my brain cells. John Beasley was the only one who did good work, but he still played the same character he always plays, wasn't surprised by anything. Efron was ok, I at least respect that it looked like he tried. But movie was a hot mess.
The First Lady (2022)
Haven't laughed this hard since before the pandemic
Thank you! I don't know if this was supposed to be satirical comedy but it's kind of sad Michelle was portrayed as a caricature because I think she's a good person. But I was in tears laughing at this pilot episode because it was so lazy. It was like a skit. This was a borderline lifetime movie that seemed almost like it was mocking it's subject. I literally can't remember the last time I was uncontrollably laughing, how did no one notice?!?! It's a good lesson in comedy, because the audience can't tell if it's intended or not (similar to a person walking around unaware toilet paper is stuck to their shoe).
The writing was also shallow, why do we need to see Michelle remind Obama in derogatory terms he's the "unconventional one." Kind of rude and insulting to constantly gaslight and demean people of color (even if it's meant as a history lesson.) it's like that play To Kill A Mockingbird... why do they still do that? It's insulting because they use that demeaning word multiple times towards people and it's like haven't we moved past it??? I'm over it. I want to see black people represented as human beings with dignity and not constantly called that word or portrayed as stereotype because we need to "remind people." Skip this.
Aline (2020)
Truly loved this film, inspired me
It's not perfect but I loved this movie so much. Was funny and moving. All the actors who played her family were so good, especially the mother, she was an amazing actress. It was inspiring to see, to be a star, Celine always knew how. It showed why only some people truly shine, the fearless bravery-philosophically-getting out of your own way. Celine was never in her own way and always had the support of a loving family and grew up surrounded by music. Her life was a perfect storm for talent to soar. I wish I had that, such a good loving supportive mother who believed in her so much. I think part of what makes a talent make it commercially is having the right people believe in you.
Navalny (2022)
I see Russia is on the move giving this mass low ratings.
Incredible documentary on the corruption in Russia. Without technology and social media, these corrupt people would continue to suppress the freedom of people. No way as I write this, 9.7k people have seen this and rated it aa average 5. You can purchase Mass ratings on here I've seen it. They are scared.
Ambulance (2022)
Cringey "woke" fest
Michael Bay trying to be woke was funny. Jake Gyllenhaal is not a comedic actor fyi. The action was entertaining and I liked the LA scenery but it tried so hard to be "woke" from a desperate white mans perspective and it was awkward.
The Batman (2022)
Way too long, Pattinson Batman is brooding and sleepy
I'll say it started pretty good and I liked the cinematography. But I thought it dragged on, and the social commentary on destroying "white privileged men" was ironic as that's what Batman is- a privileged white rich guy who can mascarade as a vigilante because he's rich and has all the free time to do so; and we feel for him because boo boo he's an orphan. This was a very obvious "woke" fest. I like the diversity but it's when they blatantly shove rhetoric down your throat that it starts to become cringey. Pattinson was so sleepy, like Joe Biden in a Batman suit sleepy. Joker is my favorite movie of all time and I feel like they tried to go for that but it just had too many missteps. I did like Farrell as the Penguin and the Riddler was basically Dexter the Anti-hero...