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Kono sekai no katasumi ni (2016)
Corners? The World is a Sphere, there are no Corners
This is a movie that is hard to sell. It is both incredibly sweet while at the same time being heartbreakingly devastating. There is very little action, the movie focuses on all the little things, Suzu preparing meals, shopping, drawing and sewing. It's a slice of life story with the most slices I've ever seen.
The animation is some of the most beautiful I've seen. It capitalizes on the animation in a manner that this film would not work nearly as well if it was live action. Suzu herself is a great artist, thus we the audience get to see what great art can do.
Gather from all corners of the world and watch this film.
Hotaru no haka (1988)
You Won't Beleive your Eyes - Grave of Fireflies
This isn't a movie that lends itself to sensational critic quotes. This movie isn't a "nonstop thrill ride" or a "delight for the whole family". In truth the film is painful to watch. But you need to see it.
This film drags you through the mud and makes you feel like the sun is never going to shine again. You watch it and want to reach out your hand and give these starving children your popcorn, but you can't. You just have to watch them as their situation becomes worse and worse.
If this film shows so much pain, why is it so good? It is a cautionary tale, but it never feels like it is blaming the audience for the problems. You could look at it from the point of view of: "How could we do this to people?" and see it as a story of the human consequences of war. Or maybe you take the point of view of "Seita, swallow your pride and ask for some help." Or from another point of view, you could learn: "Be courteous about what you say to people, you don't know the problems that are going on in their lives."
No matter how you look at it, there is a lesson to be learned. And with these powerful images, and a story you won't forget no matter how hard you try, the lesson will be sticking with you.
Suki demo kirai na amanojaku (2024)
Its Where my Demons Lie
"My Oni Girl" plays with fire, in it utilizes a lot of story tropes that drive me crazy in less talented hands. I typically hate stories where misunderstandings lead to people running away. I hate vague world building with unclear consequences. And I hate when stories take an extreme tonal shift part way through the story. But, in this film, these things didn't bother me as much. The secret to that success comes down to the likability of our main characters.
The animation and voice acting are both really good. I want to give a special shoutout to Victoria Washington who plays Tsumugi in the English Dub, she does a great job conveying all the emotions this character goes on.
The first half of the movie is almost formatted like it could be episodes in an anime series. The two leads come across various characters on their adventure and help them out in some way. This isn't a format I typically enjoy. But in this one we get to see how kind and thoughtful our main character Hiigari is. Hiigari is just the nicest guy, the type of guy that would give you the shirt off his back.
The worldbuilding might be vague, but the audience is given just enough information to keep things grounded yet mysterious.
The movie takes a drastic turn in tone about halfway through. Always refreshing when a movie keeps you on your toes.
Much like the Tsumugi, the movie might be a little demon, but it so cute and likable I can't help but enjoy it.
The Union (2024)
Not about the Civil War at All
I'm sorry "the Gray Man", we have a new winner for the most generic action movie. It is the most predictable, by the numbers movie that it could have been created by copying and pasting pages from 12 other scripts. The movie has the easiest to call "twist" of all time. By the 4-minute mark of the movie you know exactly what story beats the plot is going to take.
The main positive of the movie is the cast. Halle Berry, Mark Wahlberg and JK Simmons all do an excellent job. There are also a few good jokes.
The movie is a union of not funny enough to be a good comedy and not good enough at action to be an action movie.
Borderline (1980)
Right at the Border
"Borderline" has a lot of good stuff going for it. First, it has a very good cast. Charles Bronson, Ed Harris and Wilford Brimley are all perfectly cast for their roles. The movie also has a very compelling hook. It introduces a compelling villain and a captivating inciting incident.
The movie also has some very striking cinematography. The movie has longer takes than most films, but the camera follows the action in such a way that it doesn't feel stale.
But the downside happens to be the story. After the opening mystery, not much happens. The audience knows the solution, and Bronson launches a slow investigation. He has a plan that goes nowhere, it just burns 27 minutes of runtime going to a dead end.
Without spoiling anything, the ending is anti-climactic. It feels like a video game ending where the player didn't get all the collectibles, so they get the bad ending.
Its a shame, because this film is right at the border of being great. But as is, it is only OK.
Over the Garden Wall (2014)
This Series Rocks, and That's a Rock Fact
This series just throws you into the middle of a very strange world. The only grounding elements are Wart and Gregory. They are in spooky woods, and their goal is simple, they are trying to get home. This setup works because of the likability and relatability of the characters. In many ways, we the audience are as lost as they are. So as they react to their strange surroundings, we are likewise surprised by what exists in this world. The story is intentionally vague, but heavy on vibes, and additionally full of good jokes.
The animation and voice acting are top notch. Like movie level quality for these 10 episodes.
Over the Garden Wall is over the top good.
Adventures in Babysitting (1987)
All Started Becuase of a Playboy Magazine
An 80's "Family Movie" does not equal a 2020 kids' movie. This movie absolutely would never be made today. OK, yeah, I know they did a name only remake of the film in 2016, but that film is completely different.
In this film, a major plot point involves our teenage heroes holding onto a Playboy Magazine. There are several people who mistake the main character as a centerfold model. The movie also has quite a potty mouth with 4 sh**, and 2 F-Bombs. Before the movie ends, the minors get propositioned to by multiple prostitutes.
OK, let's look beyond how "80's ish" this film is. Half of the characters are despicable. Creeping and black mailing their way into the adventure. Chris, Elizabeth Shue, is called by her friend Brenda that she needs to be picked up from the train station. Brenda wanted to run away but then second guessed her decision. The motive is very much handwaved away, just an excuse to get our heroes to drive to the city.
Then the rest of the movie is just a series of escalating detours to the main goal. This format, and these unlikable characters can lead to a frustrating viewing.
The unique 80's family movie world makes it memorable. But the characters and story make the film feel like a drag.
Don't use this film to babysit your kids.
Lupin the IIIrd: Jigen Daisuke no Bohyô (2014)
Hating these new incarnations of Lupin the 3rd.
Looking at the fan reaction, I realize I am in the minority when it comes to my opinion of this incarnation of the famous thief. But I call it the way I see it.
I don't like the animation, but on a technical aspect, I acknowledge it is smooth movement. But the character designs are unappealing.
I don't like the voices they have for the characters. The voice actors are doing well, they are just miscast for the voices they are doing.
And, to have a complete Lupin adventure, you got to have the full cast. That includes Goemon and Zenigata, who are notably absent for this entry.
Part of the charm of this series is the chemistry and likability of the main cast. But when you take out all the humor, a lot of that charm is lacking. My suspension of disbelief is lessened when the story is taking itself so seriously. The way the movie plays its titular "gravestone" feels very contrived.
The villains are the main highlights of these Lupin specials. They do feel like legitimate threats to our heroes.
Clearly other people are enjoying these films, but I am the one Lupin the nerd who feels this movie does not hit its target.
Rupan sansei: Harimao no zaiho wo oe!! (1995)
Lupin III with James Bond?
The Lupin III franchise has had more than its fair share of James Bond references. This film makes the connection more transparent and has a spy character with a Walter PPK who apparently was the "real world" inspiration for Ian Fleming's spy. Only fitting that his name is Archer.
This is one of the most generic Lupin III films. There is very little that makes this one stand out from the rest. The animation isn't consistent, they will occasionally cut to a freeze frame. The darker shadows and contrast make for a cool looking film. Fujiko shines as her duplicitous self. The action feels more brutal than your typical Lupin adventure.
If you haven't seen 39 other Lupin III movies, you'll probably like this one fine. But as far as striking gold, keep searching, that treasure isn't here.
Rupan sansei: Kiri no eryuushivu (2007)
The Ninja Turtles 3 of Lupin III
I'm just going to say it, a time machine does not fit in the Lupin III universe. I know that the logic of this world has been very loose up to this point, but this was one jump too far. Then again, it might not be the fact that they have a time machine, but how they use it.
First off, the time travel logic does not add up. Ancestors are removed from history and that would cause people to disappear in the present. Fair enough, but what doesn't make sense is that they poof away in purple smoke, but the car they were driving remains on the road.
Second, the main villain's plan with the time machine. The man's name is Mamo, not to be confused with Mamo from "Lupin III: Mystery of Mamo" (1978) this guy is completely different. Mamo is just a common name in this world. He is angry because Lupin the 33rd stole his girl. So, his plan for revenge is to build a time machine and kill one of Lupin the 33rd's ancestors, namely Lupin III. To do this, he sends them back 500 years to the past and just hopes they'll stumble their way into death. What a stupid use of a time machine!
Third, Mamo also needs Lupin to find the fuel source for his time travel. He keeps popping up every now and then in the past to laugh and taunt our heroes, like he's a boss in a beat 'em up video game.
Zenigata has nothing to do in the story. They trade Fujiko for an ancestor of hers. There is some talk about how getting revenge is bad, which seems very hypocritical coming from the Lupin gang.
Wow, I hated this film more than I thought. Were there some things I liked about it? The animation is...fine. There are some good jokes. The unique setting and plot help this stand out from the other films. And the villain's pathetic nature does make him more entertaining than some Lupin antagonist.
If I had a time machine, I would go back and tell myself not to waste my time on this film...also the winning lottery numbers.
Rupan sansei: Sebundeizu rapusodei (2006)
Michelle Tanner? Go Back to Full House
Things seem a bit off in this Lupin III movie. All the characters are making very out of pocket decisions. Jigen gets into gunfights with Lupin. Why is Jigen fighting Lupin? Well, because Jigen signed a contract and is now legally obligated to fight him. What?
Goemon is stealing a bunch of diamonds with a Shop Vac for Fujiko. Why? Because she is paying him more money than Lupin.
And even Zenigata is painted far more incompetent, and seems to be chasing after Lupin because... he's in love with him?
There isn't much action in the film. And the ending feels so rushed that I think they just ran out of runtime so wrapped things up as quickly as they could.
But, to end on the positives. It does have some great jokes. And at least Lupin seems to still be acting in character.
Much like the diamond in the film, this movie is just a replica of something much better.
Lupin the III: Another Page (2012)
Watch Another Film
This is not a great Lupin III movie. Goemon has a sidequest that feels completely disconnected and lasts far too long. I thought this might be a crossover with a different anime show. The character designs and animation all feel cheap. It was like they thought, what would be the easiest way to animate this, as opposed to what would be the best way.
Fujiko is doing next to nothing the whole movie. And in general, not a lot happens. The action is underwhelming and in total there were only 3 action set pieces. Heck, they have one action scene where all the villains are on segways.
The Maguffin they're after makes no sense. How would Marco Polo have written blueprints for a giant space laser?
Zenigata is on point and there are a few good jokes in the film.
But in general, this film is as lost as someone playing Marco Polo alone in a pool.
Death Wish (2018)
Willis Wishes
This movie makes the worst mistake a "Death Wish" movie can make: they try to make the movie about something. Understand, "Death Wish" was at its best when it was just a cinematic video game. In "Death Wish 3" 126 people are killed. In this movie, Willis doesn't do any "Death Wishing" until over 40 minutes into the film.
When the movie tries to bring in some real-world talk about gun violence and vigilante justice, it does not fit into this story. The same movie where a YouTube video about showing a man murder 2 people goes viral.
But on the positive side, the movie has a good supporting cast. Bruce Willis might just be going through the motions, but everyone else is here to play. Eli Roth's odd comedy senses still shine through in a few scenes.
I just Death Wish this was more fun.
Rupan sansei: Saishû jobu (2010)
The "Last" Job? There are still like 12 more movies.
This movie has a ninja dog in it, they call him a ninj-dog. He is the best. As if you need any other description for this movie, I will say some other positives.
Along with the dog, the girl that comes attached to the dog, Ausuka is one of the best Lupin side characters of the series. And the Fuma return as villains. I wish they would reference the "Fuma Conspiracy", but it is still nice to have some good ninja continuity.
This movie has 8 or so great action set pieces, they are unique, exciting and fast moving. They feel like what could be the ending showdowns in other Lupin III movies, but here they are just another action scene.
That does lead to one of the downsides of the film. By the time the final action scene happens, it feels lesser due to how action packed the rest of the movie was. The movie also has too many things going on for its 93-minute runtime. They have about 5 different maguffins they're looking for, a sword, the elf, the Funima, the voice and it all becomes very confusing what the main goal is.
Overall, this is one of Lupin's very best. Great new characters, great old villains, and overall, a great time. It may be called "last", but it certainly is not "least".
Hot Shots! (1991)
nuG poT
When it comes to parody movies, most sites recommended the sequel to this film, "Hot Shots: Part Deux". Not much is mentioned about this first entry in the franchise; it is mainly seen as the lesser product. But this film is still a top-notch spoof film, (especially when the bar is set so low for that subgenre)
What helps make these films work so well is how straitlaced the actors play it, while what is going on around them is so bizarre and absurd.
But how can you do a feature length spoof of "Top Gun" and not have a volleyball scene?
Not all the jokes may land. But if you are judging a comedy based on how many jokes it has per minute... this one is a hard topper.
Rupan sansei: Nusumareta rupan (2004)
I Also Want The Lupin Collection
Lupin is coerced by a mafia crime boss to steal an ancient jewel known as "The Bull's Eye" a jewel that is believed to be cursed. Every previous thief that has stolen the Bull's Eye has been killed. Meanwhile, there is a new up and coming thief named Becky.
This movie has good animation, music and some good action, particularly towards the end where Goemon and Jigen take on their rivals. But there are a few things that add up to detract from this otherwise fine adventure.
Number 1, Lupin lies to Goemon and Jigen for no good reason. All it does is make them angry with him for 5 minutes of the movie.
Number 2, this movie treads a lot of old ground. There are the same old double crosses and reveals that you can set your watch to. Enough so that they are no longer twists, they are just checklist items.
Number 3, the villain is nothing special. He is very dull and forgettable. I think his name was Bill.
Number 4, the characters make some dumb out of character decisions.
There are a lot of little things that hold this one back. But I should highlight the positive, it is still a fun Lupin adventure with an exciting finale and good humor throughout.
Now, if we can just get ourselves a solid Lupin Collection.
Rupan sansei: Tenshi no sakuryaku takutikusu yume no kakera wa koroshi no kaori (2005)
It Has No Wings
The movie has a compelling hook, very much from Bond's "From Russia with Love". The movie begins with a group of people called "The Bloody Angels" training to kill Lupin III and every member of his gang. As opposed to the villains just wanting the same treasure as Lupin, here they want him dead. And this introduces each member of Lupin's gang with their own personal rival.
This time around the maguffin is "the first metal". It is an alien metal so strong not even Goemon can't seem to cut it.
I understand that I am in an action movie, and some tropes are common to the genre. Some of these tropes are highlighted even more with animation, and even more with Lupin. But man, I have never seen so many bullets fired in a movie and not have a single one hit their target. I kept expecting John McClain to show up and reveal that all their bullets were blanks. It made any standoff with a machine gun lose any tension because you knew that these henchmen cannot hit a thing with their bullets.
The movie does not capitalize on the potential they set up in the opening scene. The maguffin isn't used for anything interesting, it is somehow used for perfume?
If this is an angel, I'm afraid it is a second-class angel.
Rupan sansei: Napoleon no jisho wo ubae (1991)
Lupin III in Cannonball Run
There is a big race, where racers start in Madrid and end in Paris. The prize for the winner: Napoleon's Dictionary. Why is this dictionary so valuable? Lupin believes that it has a map to his family fortune. Meanwhile, all the countries are scheming to capture Lupin because they plan on taking the Lupin family fortune, valued at 200 billion dollars.
The movie follows more Hannah Barbera logic, feeling like the Whacky Races. The animation is not very good. I was willing to cut it slack if it was the 70's, but this was 1991, same year as "Beauty and the Beast".
The race is fine, but the finish line is what makes it all feel worthless. As fulfilling as reading through a dictionary.
Rupan Sansei: Sweet lost night - Maho no lamp wa akumu no yokan (2008)
A Whole New World
If you are like me, you may look at the description and think that the idea of Lupin III getting a magic lamp doesn't fit in the Lupin III universe. Well, I can safely say, give this one a chance.
It is a film with a clever premise. Every time I think they may be going in one direction the movie takes a sharp turn and goes somewhere else. Just when I thought the movie is going to become "Memento" suddenly it changes to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". As you read that description, you might think the movie is a bit all over the place...and you'd be right.
With the magic lamp, it did one thing the Dragon Balls couldn't do, and that was to make Garlic an interesting villain.
Lupin III: Princess of the Breeze (2013)
Lupin III and the Castle in the Sky?
This sounds like a match made in heaven. I love Lupin, and I love Castle in the Sky. These should go together like ham and cheese. What holds this back from a higher rating? A lot of things, but in short... the baby.
Why is the baby in so many scenes of this movie. The baby can't be an interesting character, he's a baby. And I know this movie isn't crazy enough to kill off a baby. Every time the baby is in an action scene, it's basically a force field for the heroes. There is a 3-minute scene where they focus, in detail, on the baby pooping. That's his big contribution.
The animation is good, but the CG elements are jarring compared to the 2D animation. The new characters are all fun and memorable. The story is full of magical gems, sky pirates, double crosses and action.
All in all, it's an above average animated adventure, it just has a few distracting things holding it back from being great. With only a little more helium, it could have raised above the 6/10 cloud.
Chaos (2005)
Not Enough Chaos
The movie talks about how there is no way somebody could possibly plan for every conceivable detail, things in real life are just too chaotic. But then the movie pulls off this super elaborate plan that could only be pulled off if the world was constructed by a room of hungry screenwriters.
This movie frustrates me, because it had all the ingredients to make me love it. Statham. Snipes, Henry Czerny and "The Shooter" Ryan Phillippe. But just when I think this movie has given me a good time, then they have to try one more thing, and it all falls apart.
I expect better from the director of "Soccer Dog"
Broken Arrow (1950)
"This White Man is my Friend"
This is definitely a product of its time. It is filmed in a 4:3 aspect ratio. Their scene transitions use a freeze frame that fades to black, it makes it feel like it is setting up for a commercial break. That combined with its short 90-minute runtime can make this film feel like it is a made for TV western.
By today's standards, it may be distracting to see nonnative Americans play indigenous people. Likewise, the 26 year age gap between James Stewart and his romantic lead is problematic. The story takes its fair share of historical liberties.
But the film was well received and got 3 Oscar nominations, including best supporting actor for Jeff Chandler.
The movie feels like Jimmy Stewart both giving his opinion of the futility of war after his time in the Air Force, and a progressive commentary on the Civil Rights movement.
Beyond the 1950's of it all, the film is very slow paced. The movie does not have the same type of energy of a classic cowboy movie. The acting is good from the main leads. But the story drags, the music and editing do not inject the plot with any extra flavor.
It's a game of cowboys and Indians where the movie is above it all and able to see both sides of the fence.
Rupan sansei: Hemingway paper no nazo (1990)
Lupin and the 3 Day Blow
Lupin is in Another Country. The animation is not a Moveable Feast of the eyes. Still frames are panned across to simulate movement. Some scenes feel like they are just missing because the animator didn't want to go through the effort of drawing them. For example, there are two different scenes where enemy troops are converging on Lupin, and they just cut to a scene of him already away. How did he escape? Are you not going to show us the chase scene? There should be a Death in the Afternoon, but In Our Time we have a Farewell to Arms.
The Sun also Rises on Zenigata, who has nothing to do. Goemon is too depressed to do anything. Jigen isn't working with Lupin. Fujiko is just there, and Lupin feels like an observer in his own movie.
Most of the movies takes place in the same bar, as if they're an episode of Cheers and that is there only set.
If Old Man Hemmingway could Sea these Killers, he would rather Have Not. Ask not for Whom the Bell Tolls, it tolls for the viewers.
Road House (2024)
"Everyone Here Seems Pretty Tightly Wound"
This movie seems to exist in some sort of 8-Bit Nintendo game. Something like "River City Ransom", the type of game where everyone wants to beat up the player. And much like an old video game, it can be a lot of fun, but doesn't have much of a story to go along with it. Conor McGregor acts as the big boss battle of this video game movie. And he is having a grand old time acting as crazy over the top as possible. For that matter, everyone, including the extras, seem to be having a fun time making this film. Shoutout to Dell, as one of the henchmen, he may have been my favorite character.
Crazy people, but maybe accurate to Florida.
Rupan sansei: Otakara henkyaku dai-sakusen!! (2003)
Lupin Stole Toilet Paper from Trump Tower
In this Lupin III adventure, Lupin must return 6 different treasures that were stolen by Mark Williams... Mark Williams...the actor who plays Mr. Weasley? The center for the Charlotte Hornets? Yeah, sure. Once Lupin returns all of William's ill-gotten gains he will be rewarded with the "Twist Diamond".
This Lupin adventure gives the crew some good villains to go up against. Basically, every member of the gang has their own personal rival to deal with.
The comedy of Lupin returning lost relics as opposed to stealing them is quite amusing.
The movie does feel a bit repetitive, almost like a video game. Lupin must return 6 items escape jail 3 times then he can get the piece of the TriForce and save the princess.
At least he is given a cool cut scene at the end for his troubles. The ending battle is where things come together, and it makes for a pretty entertaining finale.
Much like the MacGuffin of the film, this film is a pretty diamond with a twist.