Alba90
Joined Dec 2013
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Reviews65
Alba90's rating
A good movie for Children, Visually stunning but emotionally vacant, at least for me.
There are multiple scenes where someone reaches out and gently touches fingers with the creature, like they're reenacting Michelangelo's Creation of Adam. And yet... nothing. No emotional spark. It felt like the filmmakers watched The Mandalorian, saw Grogu reaching for Din Djarin, and thought, "Let's do that, but repeat it and strip away the build up."
Helena Zengel was perfectly cast and gave a good performance. However her connection and bond with Ochi feels empty. Willem Dafoe Always compelling, even in scenes that give him nothing to work with. Finn Wolfhard role was useless.
Maxim and his goons were so exaggerated and stylized they felt like escapees from a Wes Anderson movies, while Yuri and her mother seemed trapped in a tender trauma drama.
Character arcs were equally baffling. A delusional narcissist suddenly evolved and understanding, as if they took an offscreen crash course in emotional maturity.
The film had all the ingredients: a strong cast, visual wonder, hints of folklore, and a marketable creature design. But it forgot how to cook. Maybe it's meant for kids, they might adore it. For me, it was tonally all over the place, emotionally flat, but still... worth a one time watch.
There are multiple scenes where someone reaches out and gently touches fingers with the creature, like they're reenacting Michelangelo's Creation of Adam. And yet... nothing. No emotional spark. It felt like the filmmakers watched The Mandalorian, saw Grogu reaching for Din Djarin, and thought, "Let's do that, but repeat it and strip away the build up."
Helena Zengel was perfectly cast and gave a good performance. However her connection and bond with Ochi feels empty. Willem Dafoe Always compelling, even in scenes that give him nothing to work with. Finn Wolfhard role was useless.
Maxim and his goons were so exaggerated and stylized they felt like escapees from a Wes Anderson movies, while Yuri and her mother seemed trapped in a tender trauma drama.
Character arcs were equally baffling. A delusional narcissist suddenly evolved and understanding, as if they took an offscreen crash course in emotional maturity.
The film had all the ingredients: a strong cast, visual wonder, hints of folklore, and a marketable creature design. But it forgot how to cook. Maybe it's meant for kids, they might adore it. For me, it was tonally all over the place, emotionally flat, but still... worth a one time watch.
Hollywood, can we TALK?!
Why is it that every time a movie is shot in Italy or France, all character development gets yeeted out the window faster than a Louis Vuitton scarf on a Vespa breeze? Suddenly the story becomes: "Look at the buildings! Look at the wine! LOOK AT THAT DRESS!" It's like the script whispered, Plot? Dialogue? Who needs those when you've got sequins and a giant hat.
They always show Italy like it's a theater set designed for unhinged, self absorbed, rich people to go and dramatically gaze at monuments. At this point, whenever a character says, "Let's go to Italy," I already know the writing is garbage and they're trying to distract me with scenery.
Let's talk character regression, where everyone becomes a caricature:
Stephanie, the quirky/awkward/messy chick trope is rotting, and Hollywood just won't stop sniffing it.
Sean, went from charming to bratty man child. Did someone unplug his maturity settings?
Michele Morrone, trying SO HARD to be sultry, it felt like watching a cheap cologne ad in purgatory. Sir, remove the smolder, apply acting chops. Why this guy is acting is truly beyond me. He is really bad at this.
Detective & Vicky, literally furniture with IMDb credits.
Emily was already stylish in the first film, but here she enters every room like she's crashing the Met Gala. It's full parody and laughable... And no, I have NEVER seen anyone sit around the Fontana di Trevi at night in a crystal dress with no one around. Ma'am. That's a real street. There are tourists. There are teenagers. There are pickpockets. There's LIFE. Not a single soul? Sure, Jan.
Also, did she bring that glass with her? In her purse? I laughed. Although wasn't supposed to.
The i.n.c.e.s.t subplot: You KNOW the writing is trash when they toss that in for shock value. That wasn't a twist , that was a desperate cry for attention. Please, do yourself a favor and watch The White Lotus to see how those kinds of moments are actually written, with purpose and subtext, not desperation.
Anna Kendrick. Henry Golding. Allison Janney. All excellent actors. All wasted. Their talent was held hostage by a plot with less depth than a TikTok skit and scenes that served nothing but vibes.
It was a chaotic, hot mess wrapped in Gucci, dipped in glitter glue, served in Italy.
Why is it that every time a movie is shot in Italy or France, all character development gets yeeted out the window faster than a Louis Vuitton scarf on a Vespa breeze? Suddenly the story becomes: "Look at the buildings! Look at the wine! LOOK AT THAT DRESS!" It's like the script whispered, Plot? Dialogue? Who needs those when you've got sequins and a giant hat.
They always show Italy like it's a theater set designed for unhinged, self absorbed, rich people to go and dramatically gaze at monuments. At this point, whenever a character says, "Let's go to Italy," I already know the writing is garbage and they're trying to distract me with scenery.
Let's talk character regression, where everyone becomes a caricature:
Stephanie, the quirky/awkward/messy chick trope is rotting, and Hollywood just won't stop sniffing it.
Sean, went from charming to bratty man child. Did someone unplug his maturity settings?
Michele Morrone, trying SO HARD to be sultry, it felt like watching a cheap cologne ad in purgatory. Sir, remove the smolder, apply acting chops. Why this guy is acting is truly beyond me. He is really bad at this.
Detective & Vicky, literally furniture with IMDb credits.
Emily was already stylish in the first film, but here she enters every room like she's crashing the Met Gala. It's full parody and laughable... And no, I have NEVER seen anyone sit around the Fontana di Trevi at night in a crystal dress with no one around. Ma'am. That's a real street. There are tourists. There are teenagers. There are pickpockets. There's LIFE. Not a single soul? Sure, Jan.
Also, did she bring that glass with her? In her purse? I laughed. Although wasn't supposed to.
The i.n.c.e.s.t subplot: You KNOW the writing is trash when they toss that in for shock value. That wasn't a twist , that was a desperate cry for attention. Please, do yourself a favor and watch The White Lotus to see how those kinds of moments are actually written, with purpose and subtext, not desperation.
Anna Kendrick. Henry Golding. Allison Janney. All excellent actors. All wasted. Their talent was held hostage by a plot with less depth than a TikTok skit and scenes that served nothing but vibes.
It was a chaotic, hot mess wrapped in Gucci, dipped in glitter glue, served in Italy.
Beautiful, Boring, and Full of the Dumbest characters Known to Man!
It is visually stunning, every frame looks like a Renaissance painting, Every shot could be in a Art gallery. But beneath that seductive surface? An exhausting, hollow, and painfully slow thriller that seems to forget it has a PLOT.
By episode 3, I was screaming.
This show becomes less about storytelling and more about turning Italy into a moody Trip ad. We're dragged through endless banks, hotels, train stations, and flights of stairs. The repetition is maddening. Characters enter and exit rooms in slow, emotionless ballet, as if the real plot is lost in customs between Napoli and cinematography. It plays like a luxury travel brochure with occasional tension and endless scenes that go nowhere. Italy Was the Main Character, Everyone Else Was a Prop.
Ripley himself doesn't come off as clever or manipulative, he's just too clumsy and wildly lucky that everyone around him is competing in the Championship of Dumbs. The incompetent detectives was the most frustrating, it's hard to root for or fear anyone when they all seem to share one collective brain cell. It's a parade of dumb and dumber and the dumbest.
Everyone is miscast here, The acting is wooden, none of them brought emotion to the character, dialogues are flat. Emotions are Missing in action. And Scott, while a talented actor, feels miscast, too old for the role. The cat was the only one who gave a compelling performance.
How can something so beautiful be completely lifeless. A hypnotic tone poem with no pulse. I aged watching this.
It is visually stunning, every frame looks like a Renaissance painting, Every shot could be in a Art gallery. But beneath that seductive surface? An exhausting, hollow, and painfully slow thriller that seems to forget it has a PLOT.
By episode 3, I was screaming.
This show becomes less about storytelling and more about turning Italy into a moody Trip ad. We're dragged through endless banks, hotels, train stations, and flights of stairs. The repetition is maddening. Characters enter and exit rooms in slow, emotionless ballet, as if the real plot is lost in customs between Napoli and cinematography. It plays like a luxury travel brochure with occasional tension and endless scenes that go nowhere. Italy Was the Main Character, Everyone Else Was a Prop.
Ripley himself doesn't come off as clever or manipulative, he's just too clumsy and wildly lucky that everyone around him is competing in the Championship of Dumbs. The incompetent detectives was the most frustrating, it's hard to root for or fear anyone when they all seem to share one collective brain cell. It's a parade of dumb and dumber and the dumbest.
Everyone is miscast here, The acting is wooden, none of them brought emotion to the character, dialogues are flat. Emotions are Missing in action. And Scott, while a talented actor, feels miscast, too old for the role. The cat was the only one who gave a compelling performance.
How can something so beautiful be completely lifeless. A hypnotic tone poem with no pulse. I aged watching this.