TheCinemassacre

Tough guys. Always going on suicidal missions. Threatened by bullets and blades. Running from explosions. Best friends waging wars. Nearly killing each other, then going to the bar later to laugh about it. Director and star, Sylvester Stallone, gets all his best men together to kick as much ass as humanly possible, allowing himself a severe beating from Steve Austin. Sly took a serious neck injury. Then he goes in front of a Comic Con audience and jokes about it. A man whose Double-"R" franchises, Rocky and Rambo have both been highly successful. But he keeps coming back for more pain and putting his body on the line for the sake of entertainment. There's nothing tougher than that!

The Expendables is a movie that lifts you up out of your seat, pats you on the head, gives you a lollipop then smashes you in the frickin' face! With a cast like Jason Stathum, Randy Couture, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews, Dolph "I Must Break You" Lundgren, and cameos from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, you'd think it would be one crazy mess. Surprisingly, it's more focused then you may think. Just a straight-forward action movie with a reasonable run time that sustains itself and never has a chance to feel dull. It doesn't try to be anything more than what it is.

The only negative: Some of the blood and explosions looked digital. Wish it could have been just a bit more authentic. Sometimes, there was a tad too many closeups during the fight scenes. With so many people fighting at the same time, sometimes I couldn't tell who was punching who. It didn't happen very often, but how cool would it be just for one moment to see three simultaneous fights from a super wide master shot? Never, but I can't blame them. At least let the cameras pull back and allow the choreography to do the work.

It feels nice to get my ass kicked by something I haven't seen yet. It's not Rambo. It's not Rocky. Nor is it another Die Hard or Terminator sequel. It's something fresh, yet feels like it came out of the 80's. It has the perfect blend of humor, blood, sweat, smart-ass comebacks, witty one-liners, and an overabundance of testosterone! Don't expect anything more than action, exposition, action, exposition, all with a nice cherry on top… with sprinkles… and grenades. And some real tough guys. We all wish we could be tough guys. But no, let's just watch'em instead.

What can I say? It's an epic adventure and comedy rolled into one! It's been my #1 all-time favorite film since childhood, which says a lot. I was surprised to find out how underrated it is. Critics always talk about how it stars so many famous comedians. The novelty overshadows the movie itself. Like I said, I saw this at a very young age, and didn't know who all these actors were. This is the movie that introduced me to them.

It also gets downplayed, being labeled as "slapstick." But that's cutting it short. There's a lot of subtleness in there too. The performances are outstanding. I've never seen a movie that has so many memorable characters all in one.

Each of them go on their own adventure, inter-cutting along the way, as they each have to overcome their own obstacles and meet other characters on their journey. It's like several movies all intertwined together, and most of it happens in real time. The 2 1/2 hour run time feels appropriate and passes like nothing. Every second is entertaining, which is the greatest accomplishment for a motion picture to achieve.

The film resonates with me on a deeper level. All these characters met on the side of the road. They were just ordinary hard working people who had nothing in common, except for one dream. That unreachable fantasy. They all wanted the money so bad. They weren't happy with their lives. They wanted a change, and they would do anything to beat each other. They're overcome by greed which becomes their overlying problem.

Fantastic movie! Full of hilarious moments, and a great story!

Nobody here seems to remember MonsterVision before Joe Bob Briggs. While he is, by far, the most memorable host they ever had, there lots of great ones before like Penn and Teller.

One time they hosted "Night of the Lepus" a crappy flick about giant killer rabbits. Before the commercial break, Penn and Teller demonstrated how the special effects were done. He let a group of rabbits loose in a miniature town set and screamed like crazy "everybody run! killer Rabbits!!!" It was absolutely hysterical.

During that time, they played classic monster movies, some really great ones like The Blob and The Thing, but also lots of really bad ones like The Cyclops and The Giant Claw. One time they played Godzilla marathons all night, the last Saturday of every month.

It wasn't until Job Bob took over the show, when they started playing slasher flicks like Friday the 13th. His drive in totals are now infamous.

Great memories. Wish TNT would bring it back.