basilisksamuk

Quite an impressive achievement seeing as it's only 2 hours and 56 minutes long. Every incarnation of Batman you've ever seen is better than this. Even Ben Affleck's Batman is better. Even the old Adam West TV Batman is better. I can say definitively that even the Joel Schumacher Batman films are better and I haven't even seen them. To put it another way; nothing could possibly be worse than this film. You can't see what's happening, you can't hear what anyone's saying, Robert Pattinson is more unsuited to the role of Batman than Tom Cruise was to Jack Reacher. They even manage to make the Batmobile look rubbish.

You have been warned.

What most people fail to realise is that this is a specialist film made for troglodytes and people who like wearing night vision goggles. It is entirely constructed of CGI and scenes copied from other films. Hans Zimmer has cleverly fashioned the music to incorporate samples of Bulgarian Women's choir singing, so popular last century, and bagpipes.

Everyone else will almost certainly find the dark scenes impenetrable and everything else in the film sleep-inducing. David Lynch's 1984 version of Dune had its problems, mostly due to budget restrictions and studio interference, but it's a masterpiece compared to this dreck.