amatthewsj

Thanks to a Chrome extension, I watched Dune: Part One at 3x speed, yet it still crawled along so slowly that I'm convinced the iconic sandworm was actually just a giant desert snail.

Even at max speed, it felt like time itself had stopped. The actors' chemistry was so non-existent, it was as if they had never shared the same room. It felt like the whole movie was filmed on green screens in each actor's living room, with no connection between them.

Every agonizing second dragged on, stretching what should have been a fleeting experience into a never-ending nightmare of terrible dialogue, lifeless performances, and a plot that moved with the urgency of a rock collecting dust in the desert.

"THE" Hero's Journey.

In medieval Japan, a small farming town is constantly under attack by a band of bandits. One day, after the umpteenth attack, the villagers ask for advice from the oldest man in the place, who tells them to hire samurai who have fallen out of favor to defend them.

A delegation of them contacts a samurai who has lost his lord and who agrees to recruit several more men for the job. He will get the help of five proven warriors and another, a young man, who seems to be much less so, although he claims otherwise. Together they will stand up to the bandits.

Ordinary World.

Call to Adventure.

Refusal of The Call.

Meeting the Mentor.

Crossing the Threshold.

Tests, Allies, Enemies.

Approach to The Inmost Cave.

Ordeal.

The Road Back.

Return With The Elixir.

Reward.