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mcm2204
Reviews
Gladiator II (2024)
Retread...
The film is entertaining enough and improves in the final third when it moves away from the plot retread of the first film. And here lies the issue; it simply does not compare to the first film. Mescal does not have the fierce gravitas of Russell Crowe and he isn't helped by having to repeat some of the earlier films dialog.
For British viewers the appearance of Matt Lucas (Little Britain) and Tim Mcinnerny (Blackadder) is faintly ludicrous and makes it feel like Carry On Gladiator.
Can we also mention the monkey dog thing and the sharks? Really?
Overall a partial misfire and may appeal more to those with no knowledge of the power of the first film,
Salem's Lot (2024)
Incredibly Bad!
The film seems made by 8 year olds for an 8 year old audience, like a particularly bad episode of
Goosebumps. At several points in the cinema it brought unintentional laughs out of the audience. The acting performances were either flat or inept with the main female character (Susan) being gratingly annoying and the main male character (Ben) having the charisma of a plank. Starmer is laughable especially compared to the original performance by James Mason. Generously giving 2 stars for a few striking pieces of cinematography to include a street scene and a scene at the drive-in plus including Sundown by Gordon Lightfoot. The 1979 TV series did this better on a limited budget and without the advantage of modern technology.
Arthur's Whisky (2024)
Horrendous, creepy mess
When you have the conceit of a middle aged Asian man trying to date a girl who looks about 14 and are supposed to accept that as a viewer as being 'charming' you know this is a seriously misjudged pile of garbage. Who thought that would be acceptable? Top it off with the usual modern message pushing (the only white male characters are shown as buffoons) and a complete failure to entertain and you have the result of one of the worst films I have ever had the misfortune to view.
Save yourself the outright pain of this abomination and go and find an older film to view. Painful, horrendous, creepy mess. The makers of this film should be ashamed.
Haunted Mansion (2023)
Pointless, joyless... stick to the ride
Disney seem utterly incapable of making worthwhile entertainment. Wasting a decent cast (who sleepwalk through the whole film) the whole affair is pointless, tedious filler for the struggling Disney+ channel. Never has a film company lost the plot so comprehensively in the history of Hollywood. Time to go back to core values and hire some decent writers who want to entertain the audience rather than push 'the message'. Cannot understand why Danny deVito agreed to be in this mess. Two stars only for some decent CGI. Do yourselves a favour... go and ride the attraction as this has more charm and invention.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
Dull but looks nice...
Whilst I don't expect this review to be published.as it contains a negative perspective but wow... this is so dull. The main character of Galadriel is so unlikeable and behaves like a spoilt child, the Harfoots are randomly multi-ethnic but have Irish accents whilst the evil Orcs are all white and Cockney (seriously?), you can see the storyline a mile off and the script is unfocused and boring. On the positive side... it looks nice with the sweeping visualisation of the different locations.
Can we just return to making entertainment that entertains? Compare to House of the Dragon which has a driven and interesting plot and great performances from the cast.
A Violent Man (2021)
Fairbrass Oscar Nomination!
Not sure why the overall score is low whilst the reviews score high but this is a very serious film with a thought-provoking script about the nature of violence. Fairbrass is utterly convincing and it's about time he was given a role in a bigger budget movie.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Embarrassing
An Obi Wan series that makes the titular character a useless dopey stooge who has to be saved by some random woman character (who?) and an insufferable 10 year old girl. Full of plot holes and stupid script choices this is the end. It made us laugh out loud how stupid it is, we have just laughed our socks off watching Ep3 with the kid hiding under the coat and no-one noticing. Disney has killed Star Wars.
Total Recall (2012)
Total Don't Recall
Far less of a remake as the film changes focus and setting but it pales into comparison when matched against the original. Admittedly acceptable as an action film in its own right but lacks the nuance and dense plot of the original. Definitely doesn't leave you guessing about what is real or not real! One bonus point for Kate Beckinsale as she is smoking hot as usual.
The Convent (2018)
Wonky, Shonky, Wobbly, Shlocky
Uninteresting and with terrible CGI effects scattered amongst some fair practical effects. Atmosphere is okay, pacing less so. Incomprehensible plot. Gains a couple of stars by having the mighty Michael Ironside (albeit for literally about two minutes; was he just here on holiday?) and Clare 'Hellraiser' Higgins.
Candyman (2021)
Incomprehensible hogwash
Dull, muddled, not scary and pointless. Yawn. Remember when films were entertaining and not forcing 'the message'? I fail to see how Hollywood will survive unless they remember what constitutes a good story, acted well and directed with vigour.
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Like many on here...
I watched the first ten minutes and gave up. What a steaming pile of woke hogwash. Awful, go and do something more entertaining like de-fluffing your navel instead.
Howling III (1987)
Furry Pouch
Where else could you see a were-marsupial give birth to a little rubbery baby that crawls up her hairy bush into a pouch! Or an ending with Dame Edna / Barry Humphries realising she/he is in one of the worst films ever!
The Green Knight (2021)
Tedious
Tedious, slow-moving, uneventful, pretentious claptrap. Huge waste of time, money and talent.
Us (2019)
Whoa... what a stinker!
Unintentionally funny and about as scary as Sesame Street. Incomprehensible rubbish of the worst kind.
Lovecraft Country (2020)
Inexplicably rated at 7.3?
An incomprehensible, scrappy and utterly ludicrous series that drags so much each hour feels like three. Awful.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
One of the worst moves EVER
Tedious, unfunny, boring and pointless. Talented cast being utterly wasted. I literally cannot believe the good reviews on here are not being paid for or posted by studio bots.
Psycho II (1983)
Ludicrously underrated!
With a plot that keeps you guessing and a wonderful performance by Anthony Perkins this film is a worthy sequel and hugely underrated. Cleverly directed by Tom Holland, the film builds to a wonderfully twisted ending that gives a genuine chill and an iconic image to boot. Watch it!
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
What the hell is this?
I couldn't work out if it was horror ( it isn't scary), comedy (it isn't funny) or satirical comment on society (no valid points are made). Truly horrible but not in a good way, may be one of the worst films ever made.
Amazing Stories (2020)
Stick with it...
Yes Episode 1 was dull and Episode 2 was utterly awful but wait... Episode 3 is actually quite charming and has that Spielberg vibe. And great to see Robert Forster in one of his last roles.
Mary Queen of Scots (2018)
Historically Inaccurate Tripe
Now as this is based on fact and involves real historical figures the filmmaker has a duty to uphold facts. Unfortunately the plot and casting disregards so much the film is reduced to fantasy drama. Astonishing! Go and read a book instead.
Ad Astra (2019)
Visually stunning but utterly tedious
This film looks great but it is ultimately tedious. You watch and wait for plot development but you don't receive resolution. In fact the only interesting parts of the film have nothing to do with the development of the story. Take a blanket and have a snooze.
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
Don't listen to the Critics!
The film is fun and an entertaining popcorn flick. Flies by like a mongrel hybrid of Taken and Home Alone. Compared to the critical love for Ad Astra which barely kept us awake this was insanely fun with the cartoonish but still gory violence. Warning may have been directed by Donald Trump.