Reviews

While "Land of the Lost" wasn't a terrible flick, it certainly didn't exude greatness. Mediocre is the most fitting compliment that I can honestly apply to what was the equivalent of a really long Saturday morning cartoon(although, most episodes of "Ducktales" harbor more of a plot). If you're a tremendous fan of Ferrell or McBride, then this picture might be tolerable. Beyond that, the presentation is reserved for minds and ages ten and under. It has a lot of useless fluff, anchored by meaningless dialogue. Wonderful stuff, if I'm watching eight minutes of the "Herculoids"... but not something I want to drive to, pay for, and sit down in an actual theatre to watch.

So, if you paid to see "Land of the Lost", I'm sorry. On the bright side, maybe you can sneak into "Up" after suffering through this bland, over-hyped vehicle.

What do you do when the film-world's most notorious great white

decides to invade the peace-ful sanctity of Sea World? If your name is

Dennis Quaid, you kick butt and take names later. In the third

installment of cinema's most chilling aquatic franchise, Mr. Quaid is

standing confidently above his usual platform of excellence, as he

vigorously battles the ocean's meanest set of dentures. With help from

Leah Thompson, Lou Gossett Jr, the mom from "My So-called Life", a pair

of super-intelligent dolphins, and a conveniently placed explosive,

everyone's favorite cutter/Jerry Lee Lewis impersonator, succeeds in

blasting, with authority, the blood-thirsty predator's charred remains

to the bottom of the food chain, further establishing the fact that

Dennis Quaid is... the man! Although most reviewers on here utterly despised this film, I found it

to be quite entertaining. I'm not going to promise a "Godfather" or

"Pulp Fiction", but it does considerably dwarf the contained exploits of

"Underworld" and "Bad Boys II".

From what I remember this was a fairly bad movie... but it had one redeeming feature. The best part was the plastic surgeon's office, which was decorated nicely with autographed photos displaying of each of his female patients (unclad chests only). I find this scene particularly entertaining, because my brother went to college with the son of a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and in this doctor's office, almost the exact same thing was on exhibition.... So that was cool. Otherwise, the movie pretty much blows. Don't see it unless you're really desperate to view one scene showcasing several faceless boob jobs

Let me be blunt: This movie sucked! It was as if Bruckenheimer and Bay were trying to see how fast they could make their astronomical budget vaporize. The first movie was a well-built machine; stylish, and smartly edited, with tons of charm. Like a puzzle, every piece of dialogue fit somewhere and had meaning. The plot was also good, incorporating well-constructed characters, with a clever blend of action and comedy. It seemed like an urban rip-off of Miami Vice. But, that's sort of why I liked it. It was funnier, applying less of a cheese-factor. In the sequel, it's like, "Let's just write a bunch of crap to fill this random ten minute scene en route having another pointless chase sequence or explosion." (Note:I don't mind chase scenes or explosions. However, it does kind of bug me, when, because of the Parkinsons-afflicted camera man, I can't tell what the hell is happening.) In the original, they made the bad guy really creepy and unlikable (in a good way). After five minutes, you hated the guy. So naturally, in the end, you were delighted to see Smith and Lawerance bust this dude. In BB2, the guy was such an idiot that I almost felt sorry for him. When they finally nailed him, I could have cared less. (It was also too long.) Mainly I was of peeved that they sissy-fied the character played by Joey Pants. Going into this vehicle, I wasn't expecting to witness high art, but did figure that I'd view a captivating "guilty pleasure". Instead, I was bored senseless, and aggravated by beyond belief(during the siezure-inducing chase scenes, mainly). Bad Boys is truly one of my favorite action films. Bad Boys II was just plain bad.

In writing this review, I am not going to attempt to draft out a lengthy summary outlining the pro's and cons of this film. I'm also not going to talk about plot structure or the boundaries of character development. Furthermore, I'm not going to analyze the social ramifications of this flick, or discuss it's effect on society. An achievement such as this, does not require that much thought or labor. Anyone who would try to do so, is a moron (And most likely a fan of those crap-filled "Lord of the Ring" movies). Instead, I'm going to state this single opinion, in the simplest possible terms: "Caddyshack" is not the greatest film ever. Heck, it's not even my favorite ("Ferris Bueller's Day Off"). But, when speaking of features in the comedic genre of film, it is without a doubt, an undebatable fact, that "Caddyshack", is the funniest of all time! Many women will argue that point (my girlfriend being one of the them), and that's quite all right. Because "Caddyshack" isn't designed to appeal to an estrogen-ladened mind. Any guy, however, who decides to ridicule "Caddyshack", needs to immediately check his equipment, to make sure that's it's still intact, as "Caddyshack" is truly the ultimate guy movie, suitable for exposition at any function where alcohol is being consumed. If you've seen it... see it again. If you've never had the pleasure, quit reading this darn review, and acquire it immediately.

Next to Caddyshack, the Blues Brothers, Animal House, and most of the early stuff from John Hughes, this might be the most comedically entertaining films to date. Not only does it feature one of the greatest human beings ever to live, but, unlike most films released in modern Hollywood... this piece has a fairly legitimate moral(actually, several of them). The one thing that sets this cinematic masterpiece apart from the group mentioned above, is, that for the most part, "Be Somebody, Or Be Somebody's Fool" wasn't created to be intentionally funny... it just kind of turned out to be what it is through clever evolution... which gives the consumer a reaction that is violently side-slitting (that's a good thing). The scenes are perfect, the quotes are memorable, and the acting isn't that great, but that didn't really bother me, since I was laughing to hard to notice. As I close, I'm going stray from the normal tendency of others reviewers on this page, by not attempting to describe any of the scenes in this delightful little PSA from the early eighties. Instead, with genuine sincerity, I'm going to urge anyone who hasn't seen this gem to do so immediately.... Otherwise, you are never going to experience the supreme sensation of pure un-adult