Reviews

In this late 70's Australian horror, Kate Davis is abducted by a strange Brotherhood, a secret society of vampires, and is taken to their farm where humans are kept as cattle to feed upon.

There Kate learns that she is a direct descendant of Elizabeth Bathory, but refuses to accept her birthright as a vampire that the Brotherhood are determined she will inherit.

Good, atmospheric horror has good acting, direction and score, and the modern day vampire farm theme is certainly interesting. Not much character development or plot, but great production, special effects (for the time) and direction means this film is well worth watching.

8 out of 10.

Well made horror/suspense movie from the early 70's about a woman (Farrow), blinded in a horse-riding accident, who goes to live with her Uncle in a house in the English countryside. While she is out with her old boyfriend, something is happening to her Uncle and the rest of her family back in the house. But on returning, how can she know when she cannot see?

Good suspense - sometimes the viewer is a step ahead of the blind woman, other times we are as blind as she is, a great score and good acting by all makes this a wonderful movie for a rainy afternoon. Interesting to see Michael Elphick and a young Paul Nicholas along for the ride too.

Beautifully photographed and directed.

5 out of 5.

The Asphyx is a genuinely creepy British horror film with wonderful cinematography and an intelligent script. I also love the score - the main theme is beautiful. The atmosphere of Victorian England is captured well, and the lighting and costumes are well done. The acting is good too, from such well-known actors as Robert Stephens.

An eccentric scientist tries to gain immortality by capturing his Asphyx (the spirit that appears as you are about to die).

Watch out for the first and last scenes of this movie, as they really are eerie and clever. I recommend that you buy this on DVD as it is a movie you will watch every Halloween.

Full marks 10 out of 10!

This is awful. There are only two laughs in a movie, that is supposed to be a romantic comedy! It seems they used all their budget up on the 3 main stars, as there are no scenes in England, and also very little location-shooting in the actual movie.

Every stereo-type imaginable is used, and there are no good scenes.

A really bad movie.

I'd heard more positive than negative reviews, before I watched this movie, but in the end, I was left disappointed.

I can see what they tried to do - a deep, psychological thriller about a lonely guy who works in a Photo shop, obsessed with a family, but it didn't work, for me.

Close-ups of Robin Williams - that's been done before. Who on earth thinks that a close-up of his face creates tension in a movie? Does he get praise for his ability to look moody, and staring off into the distance? I think it's just an excuse because they can't think of anything to say.

Oh well, it limped along like a wounded dog and in the end, left me wanting "Phone Booth" instead of "One Hour Photo".

This is a really strange and over-the-top movie about young people in New Zealand. It is a roller-coaster ride of a story about people cheating on each other and makes us think about what attracts us to people in the first place.

They throw too much into it, there are so many twists and turns but alot of the twists are repetitive. However, it is good fun, and although not many of the characters are likeable, they do entertain us.

Worth watching.

The Flumps was a "children's" drama series, concerning the lives of the Flump family - Posie, Perkin and Pootle, their father, mother and grandad. One of the most tear-jerking episodes concerned Pootle's consternation that the moon appeared to have fallen into a bucket of water. The moment when he realised that it was the reflection of moon in the water, was a heart-breaking piece of British television.

And the narrator, Gay Soper, sounded like she had a really bad cold, which really added to the tension of the whole piece.

A great British institution, along the lines of the Wombles.

Yes, that's right, this great movie has lots of hidden messages.

Like when little Mac's parents are calling to him from their desert planet (I think it's the same one as in Star Wars), if you play it backwards they are reading satanic messages! And then there's the MacDonalds dance with all those sexual innuendos (amazing), and then there's the final becoming an American citizen scene - look at the back and you can see a ghost that was there when they were filming, and they CAUGHT IT ON CAMERA!

I heard the little thing that played Mac was killed in a "loaded shot-gun mix-up" incident when they were finishing filming, and for one or two scenes they had to get another thing to play Mac.

Well, anyway, it's awful.

Fantastic comedy set in Liverpool. Great performances from everyone, including Liza Tarbuck.

It was hilarious tale, about a couple who fell in and out of love. He wasn't her dream bloke as far as her imagination was concerned, but as far as being the perfect match was concerned, he was ideal!

ITV, please re-run it!

I loved this. Watched it every Friday night, coming in late from the pub, 12.30am Channel 4. Great characters, great lines.

"Do you like my period costume?"

"You mean you wear that every month?"

See what I mean? The best comedy to come out of Australia. I loved some of the scenes where they asked "Who wrote this?" and would look around for an answer, or we saw the live audience, or the microphone donked someone on the head!

If you ever see it, you'll love it!

Is this the one with "Terrible Manda"? What was so terrible about Manda? He wasn't scary - he was a nuisance. He would just wrap himself around bridges and get in the way of drivers.

"Hey, Manda, get out of the way!"

"Sorry"

Great fun film with all the monsters converging. If I remember rightly, there are some great explosive scenes in Tokyo (obviously re-built since Godzilla last came to town), where you see Matchbox cars flying in the air, and plastic people falling over.

Great stuff - a must-see!

Watched by George Lucas as a kid, these serials - including Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon were the inspiration for Star Wars. Typically swash-buckling, with cliffhangers at the end of each episode, there was little room for character development, it was all about action and suspense.

The episode with the jump off the gangplank was surely the inspiration for the Sarlaac Pit scene in Return of the Jedi?

I also watched them as a kid in the 1980's when they were re-shown on British TV.

Well worth watching, like all these old serials. This is where it all began.

Interesting interviews with all 5 of the past Bonds (Sean Connery via a video link), and lots of clips from the Bond movies.

Everyone else who ever starred in a Bond movie, appeared to be sitting watching in the audience.

Presented by Michael Parkinson (obviously a Bond fan), who did a faintly amusing role-play with John Cleese (who plays the character, Q, in the same way as he played Basil Fawlty).

For Bond fans only.

This was one of the great British TV comedies. A gem of a show, but no-one remembers it now. I remember it being shown around 9pm on BBC2 on a week night.

It was a great farce, fantastic acting, real laugh-out-loud moments.

I wish they would show it again.....

I remember watching this when I was 13 and I loved it.

It was a simple comedy story, about a man (Bernie) and a woman (Jenny) who meet again after 20 years. She has become rich and successful, while he is a taxi driver. The first couple of episodes were the best, as Bernie tried to pretend that he had been just as successful as her.

4.55pm on a Friday evening, and kids up and down the UK were shouting at their screen, "Crackerjack". Anyone who is between 25 ad 55 will remember doing this.

It was a comedy show for kids, with the comedy initially coming from the likes of Leslie Crowther and Ronnie Corbett in the 50's, and ending with Stu Francis and the Krankies, with gunge and less than subtle gags, all the way up to 1984.

By then, it had become a little out-dated and so, it was time to say goodbye to a much-loved children's programme.

U-571 inspired me to make a film. That's the effect it had on me. I know a more historically-correct film about the Enigma has already been made (in the imaginitively entitled, Enigma), where the true story of the British capturing the coding machine is told, but I have been inspired to make a movie of my own.

It's going to be called Moon 1969. Sounds like a porn film, but actually it's the story of the moon landing. It's the summer of 1969 and British and US space rocket crews are battling it out to reach the moon first. The british are good looking, brave and wise-cracking, the Americans wimpy and evil. The British get to the Moon first, and defeat the evil Americans, and also get the American girl (played by J-Lo), and Nigel Armstrong makes the first steps on the moon, saying,

"This is one small step for a man, and God save the Queen"....I hope it will be a big hit!

Simply the best children's TV show ever! Every Saturday morning from around 9am to 12pm on BBC.

Gordon the Gopher was a genius - he was only a puppet, and yet, he was able to yawn when a guest was boring - even really famous people!

Double Dare with Peter Simon was an excellent kids quiz show in the middle (with lots of gunge) and who could forget Trevor & Simon - in particular World of the Strange, the Art people, the Barbers stuck in the 70's, the laundrette guys and the amazing Singing Corner (Swing your pants. They got big stars like Sting to act really silly - brilliant!

They should bring it back!

The Teletubbies live in a Nazi-style bunker where everything is "lovely". Genetically modified rabbits are their only living companions. A voice from nowhere tells them what to do, or tells them what is about to happen to them. They show a small film from one of their bellies and then repeat the film - this was another Nazi trick - repetition being used to brain-wash.

All of this weird nonsense is watched over by a baby in the sun. All the Teletubbies are named after slang for genitalia:- Tinky Winky (obviously the male organ), La La (female), Po (bottom in German) and Dipsy (Russian slang for the male organ.

It's quite amazing - you should watch it.

This was a very funny game show with naturists as the contestants. There were 5 men and 5 women. Only 1 of each was good looking and they both lost early on!

The worst thing about this was Keith Chegwin presenting the show in the nude. There were quite a few shots of his manhood (if you can call it that). I thought it was a bit of dead skin! All I can say is that the studio must have been very cold!

This movie has the best opening lines of all time! Rewind the tape and watch it again - the first 30 seconds. It's a sign of what is to come.

It's utter rubbish, but it's fun! I love how one of the guys tells the story of how the crocodile was imported to the lake by a hotel owner, yet didn't mention this to any of his friends before they went on a boat trip on the lake!

Genius!

In Britain, and elsewhere for that matter, the Germans are not famous for their humour.

But that's just a stereotype really. Well, in most cases, anyway. This is a really good farce about a guy who's having a bad time of it. It made me think of "After Hours" with Griffin Dunne.

A funny movie if you ever get to see it.

It's the 20th Bond, and it starts fine, but goes downhill after the first hour. The most futuristic and effects-laden of all the Bond movies, left me feeling like I'd just watched XxX or True Lies, not a spy thriller. The opening sequence is suitably exciting, the references to all of the past 19 Bond movies is fun to watch, and the scenes in Cuba are entertaining, but the plot gets thinner and even the expensive hi-tech CGI effects look a bit false at times. An invisible car, and Bond surfing a tidal wave of ice, enough said? I was waiting for Darth Vader to walk on, because this didn't seem like it was happening on Earth. Boring bad guys made it even less watchable towards the end. We can only hope they return to a more sophisticated story next time, about the British spy, rather than this smash and grab sci-fi nonsense. It's just not Bond!