carrie-kaidan

I had doubts. Many doubts. I wanted to give it chance anyway and lo and behold it was just as disappointing as all the other sequels. This should have just been one of those. Not my Eric. Not my Shelly. If they had been some other couple put through the wringer of a Crow plot line, maybe I wouldn't have hated it so much. Why 2 stars tho? There were glimpses of what made the original so impactful. Some good gothy imagery that spoke to the teenager in me who loves the graphic novel and loves the 1994 film. Black leather, the sword, the rain, Skarsgård really did commit to the role but this one ultimately had no soul. I didn't believe for a second that this Eric and Shelly loved each other. It all felt shallow even though they laid it on pretty thick.

Whoever let this get re-written and re-shot into PG13 hell should kicking themselves. It needed to be as deranged as the video games. What happened?? This could have been awesome but we got Jumanji without the Rock. (The Rock would've made this worse to be honest.) What I can give it a 4 for is the world-building, action sequences, effects, costumes and props. Not even Cate and Jamie-Lee could breathe life into some of the innane dialogue. Not even Jack Black's cheap CL4P-TP laughs were enough to add another star. I wanted to like this movie but I will stick to playing the games. Unless we somehow magically get that R-rated cut, write this one off.