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Hotel Portofino: Farewells (2023)
You Can Check Out Any Time You Like But You Can Never Leave!
So there's this nice blonde English lady, and she's short of money. So she somehow gets her family to move to Italy and they open a hotel. The idea is that the scenery is so beautiful and the ocean is so amazing that rich people will flock from all over the world to stay at the Hotel Portofino.
But the nice Mrs. Ainsworth has problems. Lots of problems! Her husband Cecil is a cad, a weakling, and a selfish beast. If Bella Ainsworth had any sense she'd kill him. Cecil keeps pulling low-grade scams that always backfire. Every time he ends up groveling at the feet of the real players, and begging his saintly wife for one more chance.
Mrs. A also has a son, Lucien, (she calls him "Looch," which is as stupid as it sounds.) He's gorgeous, and girls love him, but he's not too bright. He looks to be about sixteen, if that, but we keep hearing he was a hero in the Great War -- ten years ago! His best friend is a dark-skinned doctor from India who is hopelessly gay and secretly worships the ground he walks on.
All these nice people are being menaced by Italian fascists, and there's a dirty police inspector who's blackmailing Mrs. Ainsworth's husband about something. And there's a trashy American slut who's supposed to be some kind of singer, or dance, or something. And there are loads of shots of the beautiful ocean and the scenery and the food.
Are you captivated yet? Because I was kicking and screaming at this point, begging for it to stop. This show makes BOARDWALK EMPIRE look like great art. And it makes BREAKING BAD look like Shakespearean tragedy.
Hotel Portofino is just like the Hotel California that the Eagles sang about long, long ago. Mrs. A has lots of pretty, pretty boys, she calls Looch. And in the master's chambers, they gather for the feast. They stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast.
Dark Winds (2022)
Breaking Wind
Just an average cop show where the cops happen to be Native America. They keep on trying to show us what a warm, wonderful guy Leaphorn is. He loves his wife, his female relatives, his best buddy, (even when he shoots him in the leg he's apologetic) just about everyone, really. I thought they were setting us up for some major family drama when they showed Leaphorn's dead son in a flashback, talking back at the dinner table and darkly hinting that he's into cigarettes and needs money to feed his habit. But rest assured, the lost son is soon replaced by young Jim Chee, he of the Brat Pack smirk and fatuous need to please. This guy makes Robin look like the Joker!
I guess I was hoping for something like Breaking Bad, but this show feels more like The Waltons for Native Americans. The only guy who seems to be having a good time is the evil FBI agent, the one they call "High Pockets." He's always laughing and cracking wise like he's in a show where there's actually cool stuff going on. Don't worry, he dies in the end. Bored to death by Leaphorn and Chee!
The Roaring Twenties (1939)
Too Much Going On, Not Enough Matters
This is a gangster movie. If they left it at that it could have been great. But the story is too full of extra stuff that goes nowhere. The plight of World War One veterans. Wholesome girls who just want to sing. And sing. And sing some more!
Cagney is authentic every second he's on the screen. When he's a tough soldier, when he's a bitter veteran, when he's duking it out with apes who want to muscle in on his racket. Again, if they left it at that, he'd be fine. And Bogart as the slimy villain, the double-crossing buddy who was a rat all along, well, he's perfect.
But the action drags on for years and years. The narration is a crashing bore. And Cagney has to have a love interest. Oh, no. He has to have two love interests, and they both stink up the joint. There's the pure girl from the suburbs, and the tough speakeasy mama who's been around. Both of them are crashing bores, just like the narrator. And the courtship scenes are unintentionally funny. Cagney cracking wise, making the other mugs back down, no problem. Cagney riding on the train, telling a nice girl how special she is? Big problem.
I will now end this review by having Cagney sing about how much he likes riding on the train to meet his nice, pure girlfriend. "Every day I get in the queue, get on a bus that takes me to you." An then Bogart, riddled with bullets, howls, "too much, the Magic Bus!"
Civil War (2024)
The Devil Wears Prada With Cameras Instead of Clothes
Oh what a smug, interminable sermon of a movie! Oh what a tired, despairing defense of the media elite! Oh what a tragic waste of time, energy and talent for Kirsten Dunst!
This movie panders to all the elite institutions already wielding too much power in our society. It's the dying movie industry making common cause with the dying mainstream media against those horrible upstarts on the internet. (That's us.) It seems that those ignorant people in the heartland (us again), those wonderful people out there in the dark (still us) would be unable to choose between good and evil if it weren't for the photos snapped by our plucky gal reporters.
This movie is basically the Devil Wears Prada with cameras instead of clothes. But it's even more sentimental and less complex. After all, Andy Sachs has an arc. She's ambivalent about fashion, and Miranda. She's capable of growth, and she's capable of being corrupted too. None of that is true of Jessie, the cute little cupcake in this movie. She idolizes Lee Smith and that's all there is to it.
And don't get me started on poor old Sammy riding along in the back of the bus. He's grateful just to be in this movie! And he'll do anything to protect his white folks. Can you say Uncle Tom?
Man this movie was a disappointment.
Thunderball (1965)
"I Think He Got The Point"
The underwater rumble with the armies of guys shooting spear guns at each other was really great. And Bond really goes out on the town! But the villain, Largo, was such a yutz. I mean, when you watch Roger Moore and Christopher Lee in The Man With The Golden Gun, they seem really evenly matched. But Largo just seemed like a tubby, bumbling old meanie who could barely keep his own henchmen in line. "He's got you shooting at each other!"
And the same thing applies to the girls. The bad ones weren't bad enough, and the good ones weren't good enough. Wicked Fiona was a lot more appealing than virtuous Domino and that wasn't what the story intended. Not like in Golden Gun where Goodnight is really brave and loyal and Maude Adams is truly tragic and touching. But I will say the final confrontation on the yacht was quite good. You could see how the ending of Wild Things came right out of Thunderball!
Demetrius and the Gladiators (1954)
I Want The Robe -- And I Want It Today!
"I want the robe -- and I want it today!"
These days, with spectacular TV dramas like SPARTACUS and GAME OF THRONES it is easy to laugh at the "sex" and "violence" in this mild Fifties epic. Victor Mature really is a pretty phony looking gladiator, especially when the camera keeps cutting away to the same tiger looking bored and doped up as Demetrius kills "five" tigers with just a dagger.
On the other hand, I thought Susan Hayward was amazing as Messalina -- not only sexy, but brave, smart, and determined too. The old guy playing future emperor Claudius brought a lot of dignity to the role. ("And if you kill me, sire, my knees will stop shaking, and my face will stop sweating. I won't be half as amusing dead as I am alive!")
And good old Jay as Caligula really stole the show!
Quo Vadis (1951)
Soaring Drama With A Stellar Cast
Now I grew up on BEN HUR, so I have high standards where Roman vs, Christian epics are concerned. BEN HUR was the last and the best, as far as I'm concerned. And they cleaned up everything that drags and sags and clutters up QUO VADIS. I give this movie eight stars because four for Deborah Kerr, and two for Peter Ustinov, and two for Leo Genn. And minus two for Robert Taylor!
I mean, what a dreary hero. Robert Taylor is no Charlton Heston. But nobody could have made me like this guy. He's so . . . Freaking . . . Obnoxious! For the first half hour all he does is come on with tired, date-rape come-ons, and stand around looking sulky. Then he gets hit over the head and kidnapped by Christians! Then there's a big fire and he rides to the rescue in his chariot, which looks even stupider than it sounds. Even making allowance for poor special effects in the distant past, the fire scenes and the chariot scenes are really bad. But either way, this is one hero who cannot hold his own with Judah Ben Hur. I can't even picture him winning a slap fight with Massala! "Other movies have villains, Judah, fine villains. I know, I've fought them! What I hate is when they think they're the hero."
Speaking of fine villains, Peter Ustinov was a made man for the rest of his career after nailing the part of Nero. And boy, did he deserve it! What's really amazing is the chemistry he has with Leo Genn as Petronius. The two of them sell every scene together, playing off each other with better comic timing than anyone this side of the Marx Brothers.
Last but not least, let's not forget Deborah Kerr, another case of a career-making performance from a relatively young star. It's impossible to describe how sweet and innocent she is in this movie. She radiates virtue and sex appeal at the same time, and that's not easy! You can really understand what a big gamble it was for her to take on the blowzy, frowsy, bitterly unhappy married woman Karen Holmes in FROM HERE TO ETERNITY. But in those days the stars took big gambles.
And they made once classic after another!
Lady Jane (1986)
Was He A Vine? Was He A Door?
Teen romance mixed with a surprisingly brutal and candid look at the religious wars in England in the early 1500's.
There were two things I loved about this movie. One was where Jane was being spanked good and hard by an older woman. I loved that for a lot of reasons, but mainly because it goes beyond the usual feminist stuff about men being brutes and women being angels. Women oppress each other in ways men could never imagine. (It was also fun because the mean older woman was a famous Irish stage actress whom I saw in ZARDOZ, one of the most fun and most ridiculous movies ever made!)
The other thing I loved was that they didn't dumb down Jane or her religious principles. Like when she's arguing with the priest and he insists that Jesus really becomes the wine and bread at mass. "But he *said* this is my body, this is my blood!" And Jane comes back at him, ever so cool and cheeky, "He also *said,* 'I am the vine. I am the door.' (Pause!) Was he a vine? Was he a door?"
That was the ultimate girl power moment for me!
Soul Surfer (2011)
Surfers Rule!
A true story that combines surfing, family, and Christian values in an unforgettable heroic journey.
The thing that makes this movie so poignant is that the Beach Boys and Dick Dale are never mentioned, or even featured in the soundtrack, but Bethany Hamilton quotes them all the time without even realizing it. Like when she says that surfing is "the only way" for her, and when she talks about being "stoked" about catching the perfect wave.
I just wish they could have played Dick Dale's "The Victor" over the closing credits, when they showed the real Bethany surfing today. Or maybe "The Lonely Surfer" by Jack Nitzsche.
The Wanderers (1979)
Much Darker Than You Think!
I'm really ashamed I'm only getting to this movie now. I was a teenager when it came out and I loved it just as much as THE WARRIORS.
The Wanderers may look warmer and more nostalgic than the Warriors. There's more romance and families and adults play a larger role. But the fact is, this movie has a nightmare sense of dread that really chilled me as a teenager. In The Warriors there's lots of action, lots of fighting, but all the dangers are actually real and physical, like bruises and broken bones. In this movie there are gangs that are come out of nowhere and no weapon can stop them. And what they want is never made clear. And there is no escape.
Another thing that sets these two movies apart is the subject of race. In THE WARRIORS race is never an issue. The Warriors is a completely integrated gang. Nobody has a problem with Cleon being a leader. When Cyrus talks about running the whole city nobody has any problem with where that would leave the white gangs. Even the creep who shoots Cyrus cheerfully admits that he did it for "no reason." The one thing he doesn't do is play the race card!
All of that makes THE WARRIORS a fairy tale compared to this movie. In this movie the Italians and the blacks can't even share a classroom without their mutual rage boiling over in a matter of minutes. The name calling and the violence are more effectively staged, more convincing and terrifying, than anything in THE WARRIORS. Or DO THE RIGHT THING for that matter.
In a lot of ways this movie is more honest than Spike Lee. And it's much darker than The Warriors. It just doesn't look as dark.
The Lords of Flatbush (1974)
If You're From Avenue J, You Best Stay Away!
A very good movie that should have been even greater given the perfect cast. Stallone does it all, playing a guy who can be a terrifying bully one minute and a helpless stooge the next. I remember being a very nerdy 12 year old and being really, really scared when they muscle the guy from Avenue J. On the other hand, I got how helpless all these guys are in the face of change and an unknown future. Remember the big speech at the end about walking down the street and imagining you're in an exotic city full of Chinese people? That's how the tough leader comes to terms with the fact that he's never going to leave the block, let alone the city. And just for the record, I lived in Japan for a year and never saw anything as cool as the Lords of Flatbush.
Tulsa King: Happy Trails (2023)
Not Terrible, Just OK
Going in I was afraid that Stallone would embarrass himself. He's still famous for the roles he played forty years ago, and they cast a long shadow. It would be easy for him to look ridiculous in a new setting, especially at his age. I thought this show would be like watching Bela Lugosi run around a Fifties suburban housing tract in his cape in PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.
Actually, TULSA KING is not bad. Sylvester Stallone has no trouble carrying himself in the fight scenes and confrontations, and there are plenty of them. If anything, his acting has improved over the years. He's learned restraint and often says more with a single look than he used to with long inspiring speeches. But there are plenty of those in TULSA KING and he nails them too.
So why only seven stars for TULSA KING? The problem is not Stallone the actor, it's Stallone the executive producer. This show looks terrible. Sets, second unit, location photography, everything looks done on the cheap. It's really obvious that everyone was saving money and trying to economize. Watch any episode of BREAKING BAD and you can see the beauty of Albuquerque, the haunting skies and the desert. Watch Tulsa King and all you get is generic hay bales and cowboy hats.
But it's not just the camera work and the scenery. They cut too many corners on plot, characters, and action too. I have never seen cheaper, more cardboard villains than Thumper O'Malley and the Tulsa Thugs Motorcycle Club. These guys are so hateful and so stupid and completely colorless in every possible way. Even the cuts the bikers wear look cheap and fake. And yes, I know I got their names wrong. That's kind of the point. Not a memorable face or a memorable scene with any of these guys.
Now Dwight Manfredi's nickname is "The General." So you would think that at the end of the season he'd really craft a battle plan to defeat the Thumpers, or the Stompers, or whoever they are. But no, actually not. Our hero and his friends just stand around the bar waiting for the bikers to come in the front door blasting. And when they do, our heroes blast back. And that's it. You can really picture Erwin Rommel and George Patton cracking up together over this one!
And let's not forget the mob flashback that opens the season finale. I have never seen an uglier or dumber looking flashback. They couldn't hire any young actors for a few minutes of work? Not one of these guys is believable as a "younger" version of himself. The action is really far-fetched and doesn't illuminate anything about the present. The whole mob dimension of Tulsa King is a disappointment, in that all of Dwight's old enemies are just one-dimensional creepy losers. Except for Goodie and Armand, of course.
And I do want to say that Garrett Hedlund, as they tough, redneck bartender, an ex-rodeo star and ex-convict, is the one supporting character who really grabbed hold of the role and made an impression. If Tulsa King comes back, we need to see a lot more of this guy!
Catherine the Great (2019)
Fails On Every Level
Unspeakably vile! Bad acting, stupid script, ugliness of every sort thrown in your face for four hours. No explanation of anything, with foul language and gratuitous sex used to build up the heroine's street cred as a feminist icon. No thank you!
Now I get that Helen Mirren gets whatever she wants. I imagine that just her name on a contract is enough to greenlight any project. But I don't understand how, after so many years in the business, she could end up putting her name on this garbage. Didn't she have any say at all on the script? Or the director? Who are these guys?
HBO has done so much better than this. Five minutes of any episode of ROME was better than this whole shabby spectacle. And by the way, Pugachev was the real hero -- the Russian Spartacus!
Rocky (1976)
One Hero, Two Fathers
Everybody remembers the lovable side of Rocky, like the way he cares for his pet turtles and his goldfish. And the way he feels sorry for Adrian. He's a very fatherly and protective figure even when everyone around him keeps telling him he's a loser and a bum. But he's also a young man on a quest, for wisdom and courage. And he has to figure out for himself if he deserves to be a champion. He has to decide who he is and how far he can go.
Rocky has two father figures. And they give him very different evaluations of his situation. Mickey says "you had the talent to be a good fighter, and instead of that, you became a leg breaker for a cheap loan shark." On the other hand, Mr. Gazzo the loan shark tells Rocky, "you know you've never been lucky, but this time I think luck might be in your corner."
Mick is the kind of father who passes judgment. He says that everything bad that ever happened to Rocky is his own fault. He made bad choices and he deserves to be a loser because of those choices. On the other hand, Mr. Gazzo is the kind of father who forgives. He admits openly that a lot of what has happened to Rocky is not his fault, that he's had a lot of bad luck in his life.
Rocky can't go forward if he sees himself the way Mick does, as a bum who has it coming. On the other hand, he can't just wait for good luck either. He has to learn from his past mistakes while believing that he deserves to be a winner and that his luck can change if he believes. Having the strength to change and having the ability to evaluate different points of view is a big part of what makes Rocky a champion. It's not just the raw eggs and the push ups.
Oh, yeah. When I was at Columbia every professor I had was Mick. Nobody was Mr. Gazzo. "Hey, Columbia. Forty years ago I needed your help. Forty years ago. You know what I mean? You never helped me."
Now that's what Rocky is all about!
Blinded by the Light (2019)
"I Want To Be More Than That!"
I really wanted to hate this movie. I missed out on so much in high school, and made so many mistakes, that I don't want to deal with "uplifting" movies where the boy does everything right. I can't deal with that, because it hurts too much. I don't want to learn positive lessons, and I don't want to be uplifted.
This movie looked like it would be the perfect storm.
For about the first forty-five minutes, it really was as awful as I feared (or hoped) that it would be. It was like watching PRETTY IN PINK only the characters kept acting like they were "really" in ON THE WATERFRONT. The cute, teen characters just didn't seem to belong with the ugly, dirty setting. There was too much forced humor and the boy's parents were comical immigrants and didn't seem real.
It takes a lot of effort, but if you stick with this movie for long enough it starts to make sense. At first the hero is like, listening to Springsteen on his Walkman 24/7 and that's all he needs to turn his life around. He literally kisses his girl because he hears Bruce's voice telling him "you want it -- you take it -- you pay the price!" I really didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that point. I guess the reason I failed in high school is because my favorite song was "Get Off of My Cloud!"
But as the story gets darker, and the boy gets angrier, the connection to Bruce Springsteen actually feels a lot more real and valid. I loved the part where he was arguing with his father, and the father yells, "You are MY SON!" And the boy yells back, "I don't want to be! I want to be MORE than that!" Why that excited me is not that it's great drama, or that I could relate to it from my own life. But that one moment really sums up everything Bruce Springsteen has to say about fathers and sons in about thirty years worth of music. In that sense this movie convinced me that it was real in the end, even though an awful lot of it feels fake and oddly sentimental.
So three and a half stars feels right. The first half hour is more like a John Hughes movie than anything else. But the last half hour is really powerful. And as childish as the Springsteen worship seems at the beginning, by the end it comes across as powerful and absolutely sincere.
I just wish someone could make a movie like this about the Doors. Final scene: Javid walks into his dad's bedroom with his Walkman on.
"Father?"
"Yes, son."
"I want to kill you!"
Now that's what I call rock and roll!
Rough Riders (1997)
Unforgettable Epic With Stephen Crane!
When this miniseries was on the air, I loved the fact that Tom Berenger wasn't afraid to give Teddy Roosevelt a squeaky voice and some silly upper class mannerisms. He took on that part of the man and still made him come across as a leader and a hero.
But what really impressed me were the smaller roles, and the less obvious moments. The way that Stephen Crane first walks on camera, drunk and obviously half in love with death . . . Like a 19th century Jim Morrison! And the way the other reporter is the one who gets hit, and the way he's lying there dying as Stephen Crane narrates the course of the battle. And the way, at the very end, the reporter's big boss, W. R. Hearts himself, comes up on horseback and promises the dying reporter that his family will be looked after. Hearst praises the man for his sacrifice and then gallops off to the sound of the gunfire.
Take that, Citizen Kane!
The Damned (1962)
Sad, Poignant, and Scary -- A Visionary Work!
This movie pulls off a minor miracle -- it goes from an awful, unoriginal, bad teens on a rampage opening to a beautiful, tragic, haunting conclusion. Along the way it takes a hard look at loneliness, political hypocrisy, the decline and fall of the British Empire, and the long range suffering and sadness caused by the atomic age. Most of the adult performances are bad, if not downright silly. Yet the child actors save the day with their natural humanity and unrehearsed warmth. Even when they're cold!
Most people will probably only remember this movie for Oliver Reed's spectacular early performance as the ultimate teen hoodlum. Bu there is so much more going on here. You can see how this movie really inspired later classics like A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, THE DEATH WHEELERS (aka PSYCHOMANIA) and even a tongue in cheek, comic send up like REPO MAN!
Harper (1966)
Influential, But Not Great
This is not a fun movie to watch. It's not funny like THE BIG LEBOWSKI, and it's not tragic like CHINATOWN. Yet you can see in every scene how Harper influenced these later classics.
The problem is, Harper is not heroic, or even funny. He scolds a sexy teenager for dancing around in her bikini. He scolds a lady jazz singer for doing drugs. He scolds his best buddy for falling in love with the teenager in the bikini. He scolds his wife for not loving him enough. He scolds everyone but doesn't care about anyone except himself. There was another movie just like this that came out in 1966. It was called A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS. Harper is to private eyes what Sir Thomas More was to statesmen. They both look sour and disappointed all the time. But at least Sir Thomas More gets his head chopped off at the end!
Samantha: An American Girl Holiday (2004)
A True Christmas Classic
Absolutely beautiful holiday film, set in 1904 and based on the best selling books for children. Perky little Anna Sophia Robb, sultry and auburn-haired Rebecca Mader, and stately old Mia Farrow completely nail the loyalty and friendship between three generations of well-off women, each of whom (in their own way) make the holidays brighter for the less fortunate. What makes the movie a classic is that when Samantha visits the orphanage and the factory, no punches are pulled. This isn't a Christmas Carol! The escape from the orphanage is a great action sequence. And it's not cute. It's suspenseful and almost painful to watch.
A classic all around.
Cutter's Way (1981)
Forget It, Bone. It's Chinatown.
Forget it, Bone. It's Chinatown.
Cool Hand Luke sees Boss Godfrey ("the man with no eyes") at Noah Cross' big fiesta. Immediately he realizes that nothing is a mighty cool hand. With his best friend Eric Cartman, he cooks up a brilliant lil' scheme to make Scott Trenorman spill the beans about who got us into Vietnam. Chaos ensues as Captain Ahab cries "thar she blows" and Sheriff Will Kane rides his white horse Silver right into Xanadu, exposing the horrible truth that "they" are to blame. For everything!
Yeah, I get that it's a cult film. That doesn't mean it's actually good. So much is missing, like a hero you can respect. And a story you can believe. Jeff Bridges sure looked good with his shirt off, though. Back in the day!
Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown (1977)
It's Deliverance, Charlie Brown!
It's Deliverance, Charlie Brown! You get to play the game, Charlie Brown! Now squeal like the pig you are, Charlie Brown!
The Sixties were the Golden Age for Peanuts lovers. By 1977 The magic was clearly fading, as both the daily strip and the feature films shifted from introspection and genuine emotion to slam-bang action and cheap external conflicts with various cardboard characters.
Charlie Brown and his gang go white-water rafting, and end up in the middle of nowhere. Just like Deliverance! A gang of creepy outsiders starts to pursue them. Just like Deliverance. Brown and his soft city kids show unexpected courage. Just like Deliverance! At the end the bullies are humiliated and the city kids win. Just like . . . Well, you get the idea.
So where were the banjos?
Cape Fear (1962)
Evil Means Taking Your Shirt Off In Every Scene
I love the remake with Robert DeNiro and Nick Nolte, but this version just didn't work for me. Not that I have anything against Robert Mitchum, mind you. Even as a very old man in The Winds Of War, he's the most effortlessly masculine actor I've ever seen.
The problem is, Max Cady is more than just a masculine man. He's a force of demonic evil, with a brilliant mind and a very intense sense of how he's been wronged. Robert DeNiro was able to play the character as not only cruel and evil, but literate, articulate, and complex. Robert Mitchum doesn't have the same brilliant dialogue to work with. All he can do to suggest he's evil is to take his shirt off in every scene.
Somebody must have got a big kick out of that!
Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003)
So Depressing!
This is the slowest, most depressing period picture I have ever seen! I was so hoping that Scarlett would play someone sweet and fun, a bouncy girl who's an underdog with a heart of gold. Someone like Kit Tyler in THE WITCH OF BLACKBIRD POND.
But no! This girl is gloomy all the time, even when people aren't picking on her. The setting is Holland, in the 1600s, and she's living in the home of a famous painter. And everyone is mean to her. All the time!
And the painter is a total wimp.
Is there a point to this movie? I really hated it. It made me sad, and at the same time it was boring. Really, really boring!
Better Call Saul: Coushatta (2018)
Here A Captive Heart Busted
I've always been impressed with the way these shows draw inspiration from classic American literature. On Breaking Bad Walt and Jesse find freedom from nagging wives and failed family relationships in the desert, just the way Huck and Jim find freedom on the Big River. ("Come back to the RV again, Jesse honey!")
In this episode, Jimmy and Kim are as full of mischief as Tom and Huck at the end of Huckleberry Finn. But their mischief has a purpose. Just as Tom and Huck stage an elaborate charade to terrorize the local farmers and spring Jim from captivity, Jimmy and Kim set up an entire imaginary backstory to keep Huell out of jail.
Tom and Huck can only free Jim after they've created a whole new identity for him. He's not a runaway slave, he's the Lost Dauphin. He's the Count of Monte Cristo! Everything they do is designed to make Jim seem like he's really someone else. Someone who really *deserves* rescuing.
I wish I could say that Jimmy and Kim approach their mischief differently, but they don't. They try to make Huell into someone who matters by pretending he's somebody different from who he really is. Instead of asking the tough questions about what his life back in Louisiana was really like, they invent a fairy tale about life in an idyllic town where everybody loved him. And notice that Huell never gets a chance to tell his own story. Accepting the second chance that his white benefactors offer him means keeping quiet about who he really is.
This is a fun episode that's exciting to watch. But the more you think about it, the more disturbing it is. And that's what makes Better Call Saul such a great show!
Head in the Clouds (2004)
Me Love Life Was Fabulous, But Hitler Was On The Radio!
So there I was, the only Irish lad in Cambridge. How did I get in? I never had any money. Also I never seemed to study, but at least nobody ever made fun of me clothes, me religion, or me accent. And me so poor and stupid!
And then one night for no reason at all, the most gorgeous girl in the world pushed her way into me room. She said her name was Gilda, and she liked men. A lot! So me and Gilda, we went at it for a bit, but then she went to Paris. And I went to Paris. And there was lots of pictures taken, of us dancing and having sex and drinking, and Gilda said she only wanted fun, fun, fun until her daddy takes the T-Bird away.
So then the most beautiful Spanish girl in the world came to Paris, and it was me and Gilda and Mia having sex for hours, for no reason except we were young and in Paris and we looked gorgeous together in bed. And then Hitler's voice came on the radio saying the movie had been going on for over an hour already, and nothing was happening except girls in gorgeous clothes and tons of dancing and sex, and he was bored out of his mind.
So then Mia and me, we went to Spain, and there was snow on the ground. And people were dying everywhere! So then Mia and me made love and she said life only mattered when you believed in something. But she didn't say what exactly. And then she got killed!
Without girls walking into my room every night for sex, England was a bore. So I went and joined the army. Another war soon started, over Hitler going on the radio too often. Or something. And then I was back in Paris, as a spy, only everyone in my neighborhood knew me and thought I was a hero. And they hated Gilda for having sex with this German lad in Hitler's army, only it turned out she was a spy too, and so clever they could never catch her. Like if her German was talking on the phone she'd listen in, and then close her eyes and pretend to be asleep. Really clever!
So then there was a lot of shooting, and people being drowned in bath tubs, and on the last day of the war the French underground people took Gilda away for looking too gorgeous in every single scene. But she left me a note saying don't you forget about me. Don't, don't, don't, don't you, forget about me. Because fighting against fate is important. It's for mankind, or something. For we are the champions, my friend. And we'll keep on fighting till the end!