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Reviews37
Tim851's rating
I thought the basic idea to remake Moby Dick in a slightly steam-punk version with dragons was intriguing enough. Sure, this is probably not gonna be a film for the ages, but it could be entertaining for ninety minutes.
But it's just horrible. Oh so horrible. The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen, if I account for the fact that they did indeed use professional actors. Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones have never been praised for their craft when playing the shallow roles they've played before. Here now, they are cast in character roles and that is a disaster. Jones tries to summon some gravitas by constantly suckling on this wee pipe of his and it looked ridiculous. The other male actors are underwhelming at best. They seem to have been selected because they all resemble other (more talented) actors.
The female lead was clearly cast based on "Who was the hottest chick that showed up?" Her acting is the worst.
The screenplay is just clown shoes. But the real highlight of this thing is the "ship". It looks like a carrack without sails, but wheels instead. It moves forward by means of ... erm, nobody knows. At the very least, they should have lamp-shaded it. But no.
This thing is only a 2/10 because the dragon special effects are somewhat decent. Somewhat. Otherwise it would be a 1/10.
But it's just horrible. Oh so horrible. The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen, if I account for the fact that they did indeed use professional actors. Danny Glover and Vinnie Jones have never been praised for their craft when playing the shallow roles they've played before. Here now, they are cast in character roles and that is a disaster. Jones tries to summon some gravitas by constantly suckling on this wee pipe of his and it looked ridiculous. The other male actors are underwhelming at best. They seem to have been selected because they all resemble other (more talented) actors.
The female lead was clearly cast based on "Who was the hottest chick that showed up?" Her acting is the worst.
The screenplay is just clown shoes. But the real highlight of this thing is the "ship". It looks like a carrack without sails, but wheels instead. It moves forward by means of ... erm, nobody knows. At the very least, they should have lamp-shaded it. But no.
This thing is only a 2/10 because the dragon special effects are somewhat decent. Somewhat. Otherwise it would be a 1/10.
I kinda enjoyed it.
But it's a rehash of the original and will as such always suffer. You have certain problems, like the original only showed the Predator later in the film in all its cloaky glory. But since then we've all seen Predators, lots of them. So should a movie still try to make the eventual revealing of them climactic? I don't know. 'Predators' didn't and it worked for me.
The Gang had little chemistry. There were too many of them. I correctly predicted the succession in which they would die though - except for the first one. They also took their situation surprisingly calm. I didn't expect Wangst and philosophical debate, but when they realized the first twist, I did expect more than a few looks of disbelief.
Adrian Brody was fine. Don't know what everybody has against him. He looks 1000 times more Black Ops than Schwarzenegger, who due to his muscles-for-looks would be too slow, too bulky and too quickly out of breath. His character was a bit to omniscient.
Lawrence Fishburne's character was a nice surprise. So sad they didn't go anywhere with him. He also looked a bit chubby for his situation.
Topher Grace is continuing to not have a career. His character was weird. Nobody questioned his nature, not even Mr. Know-it-all Brody. His last five minutes on screen were kinda stupid.
Hm. I don't know, I gave it a 5/10 when I started this review. But the more I think about it, the more stars I have to subtract.
I did feel entertained for the most part. But now I can't remember a single memorable scene.
But it's a rehash of the original and will as such always suffer. You have certain problems, like the original only showed the Predator later in the film in all its cloaky glory. But since then we've all seen Predators, lots of them. So should a movie still try to make the eventual revealing of them climactic? I don't know. 'Predators' didn't and it worked for me.
The Gang had little chemistry. There were too many of them. I correctly predicted the succession in which they would die though - except for the first one. They also took their situation surprisingly calm. I didn't expect Wangst and philosophical debate, but when they realized the first twist, I did expect more than a few looks of disbelief.
Adrian Brody was fine. Don't know what everybody has against him. He looks 1000 times more Black Ops than Schwarzenegger, who due to his muscles-for-looks would be too slow, too bulky and too quickly out of breath. His character was a bit to omniscient.
Lawrence Fishburne's character was a nice surprise. So sad they didn't go anywhere with him. He also looked a bit chubby for his situation.
Topher Grace is continuing to not have a career. His character was weird. Nobody questioned his nature, not even Mr. Know-it-all Brody. His last five minutes on screen were kinda stupid.
Hm. I don't know, I gave it a 5/10 when I started this review. But the more I think about it, the more stars I have to subtract.
I did feel entertained for the most part. But now I can't remember a single memorable scene.